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I Have Sucidal Feelings

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,390 People

    A while ago I've ordered Nembutal over Internet

    and got it seized by customs ... SO that the only available option now is to travel somwhere I can find and buy Nembutal in person ... I'm planning to go to Peru ...I know where it can be found/bought there ... But I feel I need someone with me to go throgh all this ... If we...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 12

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    I Dream Of Ending It....

    Does the nervedamage show? .....Is the survival switch tripped?....How can I feel this way when there is nothing tangible to put my fingure on. Am I thus selfish thinking only of my own?....I am so tired feeling this way. I am obliged to carry on, only the thought of cutting...
    Gaspar1111 Gaspar1111 31-35, M 6 Responses Mar 29, 2010

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    Nothing in my life has ever made me want to

    commit suicide more than people's reaction to my trying to commit suicide.
    Brokendreams24 Brokendreams24 16-17, F 2 Responses May 6, 2014

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    Ang012685 Ang012685 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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    I need someone to talk to.

    like. right now
    MrsMidnight MrsMidnight 13-15, M 13 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    I truly thought they were gone.

    . But here they are again. My dear old friends. I told them they would come back. Can never stay away for too long... Oh no.. That'd be a tragedy..
    painseeker16 painseeker16 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    My first plan, say Plan "A",

    was about ordering Nembutal over Internet .. I did ... But my parcel has been seized by customs ... So that I now have a Plan "B" ... instead of ordering some stuff over Internet , Plan "B" is about going directly to where I can find the needed stuff , SouthAmerica in this case...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 26

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    Ok things still aren't working out

    and I don't know what to do anymore.My mom got me a therapist but I still feel suicidal. I feel like in order to be free and at peace I need to do this.
    Jb359 Jb359 16-17, F Dec 1, 2014

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    Everyday I look on the mirror an think how ugly

    I am and how I want to die. And how no day loves me. I look at the bridge that is in my town and think how much id like to jump.
    Hiimamyimdead Hiimamyimdead 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 25, 2014

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    I've been thinking about dying a lot these past

    few days. but I don't want to kill myself in that sense. I just want to not exist for a while.
    Cosmicmutt Cosmicmutt 18-21, M Mar 1

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    my friend wanted to say she feels suicidal

    and like no one cares she wants a new life is there anyone who wants to help
    ladykay1234 ladykay1234 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 27

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    I don’t know if it is normal to have suicidal

    thoughts, but I do get them from time to time. I don’t understand why I get them, because honestly when my life is good. As long as I remembered I would have thoughts wishing that I would die, for someone to kill me, wishing I was never born and planning on ways on how to kill...
    Secret179688 Secret179688 18-21 Mar 23

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    I've been having suicidal feelings

    since I was about 13, I'm a coward because I've never cut just the sight of blood scares me. But that doesn't stop me from thinking that I have no purpose being here, I feel like disappearing at times.
    AnaTurtle AnaTurtle 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 18, 2014

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    I read my mother messages

    and i saw that she was telling my stepdad that if she disappeared my dad and my grandma would take care of me. I DONT LIKE THAT. I've never cried so much n my life. I can´t imagine my life without her. The only thing i want to do is sleep for ever. She doesnt have a work...
    depressedisanillness depressedisanillness 41-45, F 2 Responses Dec 17, 2014

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    Killing oneself is, anyway,

    a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was...
    Brokendreams24 Brokendreams24 16-17, F 3 Responses May 7, 2014

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    "You told me think about it,

    well I did, now I don't want to feel a thing anymore, I'm tired of begging for the things that I want, I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor. Imagine living like a king some day, a single night without a ghost in the wall, and if the bass shakes the earth underground, we'll...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 22, 2014

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    Imagine This

    Thinking about ending your life tonight? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You're just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and...
    BlurredBeyondTheStarsx BlurredBeyondTheStarsx 70+ 2 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    I Have That Feeling

    i dont know why but from my childhood i have suicidal feeling when i was a kid i often think how i kill myself and now i m a great suicidal most of the time i spend by thinking how i will kill myself when i m on any building i want to jump from there and when i saw any blade or...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 10, 2010

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    i just for once i dont want thoughts

    or feelings in my head anymore
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 21, 2014

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    Yesterday, I told my mom I was suicidal.

    Of course she freaked out a little and told my little sister. The shittiest thing I said was probably how my relationship with her feels superficial, but she doesn't understand why. So, now she is going out of her way to try and "help" which is even more annoying. Like come on...
    PuckDrop PuckDrop 18-21, M Feb 27

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    “Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain

    exceeds resources for coping with pain.” Some ignorant ******* today kept saying that people who commit suicide are weak and cowardly and that if they are suicidal they should just do it because we don't need people like them around. He's so dumb. Yes, there are some...
    bandgeekavery bandgeekavery 13-15, T Mar 31

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    Sometimes I just feel like I should just kill

    myself. I have nothing to live for. I have no friends, no one that cares for me. I'm always alone and have no one to spend time with. I'm worthless. All I do is go to school and work. I never have anyone that shows they care or gives me attention. I'm always pushed to the side...
    Bitterrsweet Bitterrsweet 18-21, F 18 Responses May 25, 2014

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    When I'm not distracted by something else I

    wanted to die almost all the time. Though it's unhealthy but my thoughts in methods of committing suicide are so bizarre sometimes. I don't think I'll ever do it nope, I've tried once and failed. But it's a part of me I can live with now.
    GrumpyMe GrumpyMe 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 2, 2014

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    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica in April... Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... I am 47 years old male ... If you want we can discuss further... you can directly contact me at mybygone(at)gmail(dot)com.. Is there any company...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Feb 27

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    I know this is going to sound weird

    but I want to od on pain pills. Not to kill my self but to get into the hospital. I'm feeling very depressed and I don't know what else to do.
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 4 Responses Oct 24, 2014

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    I'm about to turn 30

    and I've done nothing with my life. I didn't graduate from high school. I don't have any marketable skills. I don't even have a job. I'm mentally ill to the point that I've had several hospital stays over the last 2 years. I hear voices telling me to kill myself. I see things...
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 3 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    kei83 kei83 13-15, F 8 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    I think at times, we all feel like suicide

    might be an option. Maybe we're upset, and say it out of frustration and anger hoping someone will care. Sometimes we say it because we think that's what we're supposed to do. Sometimes it's the voice in the darkness, creeping in, whispering awful things. "You're not good enough...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 16, 2014

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    I never thought I would be the person

    who attempted suicide... but I was wrong
    MADSOUNDS MADSOUNDS 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    well hello. .....this is my 1st post.

    I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has kind words and understanding. I have a rare genetic disorder called ehlers-danlos syndrome -type 3. I am in pain everyday and I feel very isolated. I think about suicide daily. What keeps me here is knowing that there are...
    kathyeds kathyeds 36-40, F Jan 12

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    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica in April... Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... I am 47 years old male ... If you want we can discuss further... you can directly contact me at mybygone(at)gmail(dot)com.. Is there any company...
    mybygone mybygone 46-50, M Mar 4

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    Today I waited on the train tracks

    as the train was coming somebody pushed me out of the way ... :( Im sad I wish they would have let the train hit me.
    Hiimamyimdead Hiimamyimdead 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 26, 2014

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    I can't take it anymore life just isn't worth

    living anymore. For the people I love the most I know you care but it's pointless and won't do you any good. I can't tell anyone that I might actually do it. This app is the best way to get my thoughts and true feelings out...
    Jb359 Jb359 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 22

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    I think I want to end my life.

    Its so hard having people in your life that you love and care about treat you like crap . There has been so many times when I tried to slit my wrist , choke myself and basically end all of this s-h-I-t . The worst thing that I have ever done to myself was cut my own face with a...
    insanebeauty insanebeauty 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    At 21 years of age, I'm just waiting

    until money becomes a concern and I'm out. I will wait until my sister graduates high school so she will have a better understanding. It feels as if I was born into a game I never wanted to play.
    PuckDrop PuckDrop 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 18, 2014

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    Everything is my fault.

    I know that. Everyone is better off without me so I have came up with a plan. I've been so miserable with my life and I can't think of any other way to end the hurt and the upset. This way no one will be burdened by me being here. My parents won't have me being a problem for...
    Jenezebel Jenezebel 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    it's a never fleeting emotional roller coaster.

    One day I'm okay, the next all I want to do is bite into my wrist, like an apple and watch myself bleed. I don't have recent reasons like most people. I have past reasons I suppressed until I broke. and quit my jobs, cut ties with my friends, and hid under a rock. I like my...
    RoyalxNicole RoyalxNicole 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    The thoughts and urges are always here

    but there getting worse! Every object I see, I get an image of me killing myself with it! All I've been thinking of today is one question which was "if I would kill myself today, would they notice and since its New Year's Eve, I would give them a day to celebrate my death and a...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 31, 2014

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    I Wish I Dead Alot

    People always act like im not there.most of them ignore my questions.My Family hates me.    My mum when me and my brother fights tells me to get to my room and just leaves him alone.my mum has always loved my brother more and i tell.my dad moved cause he hated his life here...
    xxxunbrokenxxx xxxunbrokenxxx 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 10, 2011

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    Welcome To My Mind The daily election

    concerning suicide is nearing its last poll. Life is great, love is wonderful, I have so much to discover! Life is stupid, love doesn't exist, all things undiscovered are misery. I will work and have a family. I will be loved an appreciated. But the end is the same for...
    metagross metagross 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 30

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    I Do Too

    I have suicidal feelings and thoughts frequently. I have for years. I have survived one pathetic attempt many years ago that resulted in horrible feelings of failure and shame. It ended up being something I had to explain to my family It ended up a mess It ended making people a...
    mac885 mac885 56-60, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2013

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    I will admit a big part of my life I have self

    harm and also attempted to commit suicide several times I'm here to tell you. it doesn't help , at the moment it might seem like it does but it's a lie and I promise If you ever feel down or need someone to talk to I'm here if you think no one cares think again I care...
    angie314 angie314 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    i have that kind of feeling

    since 6th grade & I still think of that feeling when when I'm alone in my sleep
    RodrigoGalindo730 RodrigoGalindo730 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 27

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    trayomis trayomis 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    I thought I had beat this.

    But just the constant isolation for so long is bringing these feelings back really hard. I'm just so tired of always being alone.
    zoezatara zoezatara 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    kei83 kei83 13-15, F 18 Responses Jul 5, 2014

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