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I Have Sucidal Feelings

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,207 People

    I'm about to turn 30

    and I've done nothing with my life. I didn't graduate from high school. I don't have any marketable skills. I don't even have a job. I'm mentally ill to the point that I've had several hospital stays over the last 2 years. I hear voices telling me to kill myself. I see things...
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 3 Responses Nov 12

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    So this isn't easy to say

    but I can't keep it inside anymore. I want to commit suicide, and I've had thoughts about it for a long time now. I'm 16 and I have told my mom, mentor and cousin. They say I need professional help but 3yrs later and still no help. I was thinking about committing it by the end...
    Jb359 Jb359 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    I think at times, we all feel like suicide

    might be an option. Maybe we're upset, and say it out of frustration and anger hoping someone will care. Sometimes we say it because we think that's what we're supposed to do. Sometimes it's the voice in the darkness, creeping in, whispering awful things. "You're not good enough...
    airisfleeting airisfleeting 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 16

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    I have attempted suicide

    before about 4 years ago and I chickened out half way through. I'm in college now and I feel worse, I never really discovered who I am as a person, just been conforming to society and who I'm around. I feel that now is my time but I feel like it would be a waste of time just...
    WolfChild12 WolfChild12 18-21, F Oct 12

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    I Do Too

    I have suicidal feelings and thoughts frequently. I have for years. I have survived one pathetic attempt many years ago that resulted in horrible feelings of failure and shame. It ended up being something I had to explain to my family It ended up a mess It ended making people a...
    mac885 mac885 56-60, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2013

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    But caring for pals strikes.

    And i stick around hoping for a cure.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Aug 17

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    Everyday I look on the mirror an think how ugly

    I am and how I want to die. And how no day loves me. I look at the bridge that is in my town and think how much id like to jump.
    Hiimamyimdead Hiimamyimdead 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 25

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    I thought I was getting better,

    I wasn't having the thoughts as often and I wasn't cutting for about two months but I relapsed and went about another two weeks, then I started getting suicidal thoughts again and they are getting more and more often, I even thought about what I would put on my suicide note if...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M 2 Responses Sep 18

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    it's a never fleeting emotional roller coaster.

    One day I'm okay, the next all I want to do is bite into my wrist, like an apple and watch myself bleed. I don't have recent reasons like most people. I have past reasons I suppressed until I broke. and quit my jobs, cut ties with my friends, and hid under a rock. I like my...
    RoyalxNicole RoyalxNicole 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    When I'm not distracted by something else I

    wanted to die almost all the time. Though it's unhealthy but my thoughts in methods of committing suicide are so bizarre sometimes. I don't think I'll ever do it nope, I've tried once and failed. But it's a part of me I can live with now.
    GrumpyMe GrumpyMe 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    Down in it again... I hate to seek attention,

    but I'm trying to stay here... .45 or 12 gauge? What should I do to stop this suffocating feeling?
    PleasePegMe1 PleasePegMe1 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 19

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    My life has gotten to the point

    where I just spent the last 20 minutes looking at different suicide methods!
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M Oct 1

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    I'm not a writer, sometimes I lack common sense,

    and other times I make no sense at all. If you still with me for the nect few minutes though I only hope that it gives you some thought. Two years ago I tried to take my life. I was in my last year of high school and I was severely depressed (clinically diagnosed). I was never...
    InfinitelyCurious InfinitelyCurious 18-21, F Nov 12

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    The thoughts are constant,

    they come much more often, the feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, anger, fear, depression! I don't know what to do anymore! I coped for a while by cutting but then I tried to quit! I want to start again! I felt something when I did it! Seeing the blood flowing! Without...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M 1 Response Oct 1

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    kei83 kei83 13-15, F 8 Responses Jul 14

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    Tonight

    I don't really know how I feel. Sad? Depressed? Alone? Hurt? Does it even matter? I know I hate myself. I hate every inch of my body and every thought I have. I feel cowardly because I find myself at the edge but I just can't bring myself to go over. About half an hour ago I...
    Mintallyill Mintallyill 26-30 7 Responses Mar 11, 2013

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    I was just discharged 2 days ago from a 5150

    hold. I had a change of mind while I at the hospital and felt so secure about trying to better myself and promised myself I would try to kill myself again, but I don't know what happened today,.... I want to just die and get these emotions over with
    ghetti24 ghetti24 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 15

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    I might kill myself because I have money

    problems donate to my Paypal so I won't OCD on aspirin and eat a plastic bag
    AlwaysAnonnymous AlwaysAnonnymous 13-15, M 2 Responses Nov 13

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    Today I waited on the train tracks

    as the train was coming somebody pushed me out of the way ... :( Im sad I wish they would have let the train hit me.
    Hiimamyimdead Hiimamyimdead 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 26

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    I have so much going on in the inside of me I

    feel like nobody understands, I'm trying my best to make it through the day. But I don't feel like I'm going to make it
    Ajstar99 Ajstar99 22-25 2 Responses Sep 21

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    it comes and go these feeling i have

    and its like maybe the sadness and worthlessness will fade if i just.. but it this feeling go away then they come back. feel lost
    NocturnalMiss23 NocturnalMiss23 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 16

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    Not In Control

    I've felt suicidal what seems like forever, but it's getting worse. The feeling to give up gets stronger and stronger every day. I recently went to my doctors he sent me to see a counsellor. It's not helping, the suicidal feels are getting worse. I don't know what to do. I don't...
    myproblem1 myproblem1 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 3, 2013

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    What Should I Do?

    Sorry its a bit long,I am sorry if this sounds really depressing and cliché. My mum and me used to argue a lot, she said she wished she had an abortion and many other things, so i moved in with my dad, 2 years later he got into an argument with my mother and he hit her (knocking...
    myproblem1 myproblem1 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 17, 2012

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    My boyfriend told me loved me.

    He's 35 I'm 19. He told me my age doesn't matter. It did. He told me my skin color didn't matter. It did. He told me he would fight for our love. He didn't. Why? Why tell me this? For my body? But, why? There's plenty other girls. He knew he was my world. He knew he was my...
    ohwee12 ohwee12 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    I need someone to talk to.

    like. right now
    MrFoe MrFoe 13-15, M 14 Responses Nov 16

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    So now I am getting therapy,

    it seems to be going very well honestly. Hopefully it stays like this!
    Jb359 Jb359 16-17, F Oct 11

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    I've been having suicidal feelings

    since I was about 13, I'm a coward because I've never cut just the sight of blood scares me. But that doesn't stop me from thinking that I have no purpose being here, I feel like disappearing at times.
    AnaTurtle AnaTurtle 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    kei83 kei83 13-15, F 20 Responses Jul 5

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    I had an amazing Saturday!

    I spent it at homecoming with the girl I have liked for a long time(the only hard part was fighting my social anxiety so I only thought about the girl I was with) I even asked her out at the end and she said yes! My Sunday was a different story! I didn't get to talk to the girl...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 28

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    I've felt like this for a

    while now. I can't go a whole day without thinking about killing myself. I just have this never ending feeling of emptiness and hopelessness. I understand that I need to get help and see a doctor to be diagnosed for whatever it is that makes me this way. A part of me wants to...
    xBrickWallx xBrickWallx 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29

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    I Dream Of Ending It....

    Does the nervedamage show? .....Is the survival switch tripped?....How can I feel this way when there is nothing tangible to put my fingure on. Am I thus selfish thinking only of my own?....I am so tired feeling this way. I am obliged to carry on, only the thought of cutting...
    Gaspar1111 Gaspar1111 31-35, M 6 Responses Mar 29, 2010

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    Grrrrrr

    I want to pack a backpack with everything i might possibly need ... not to miss a thing out. I don't want to get it wrong again .... i can't cope with getting it wrong AGAIN!!! The disappointment of not even being able to take your own life is overwhelming. I almost want to...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F 10 Responses Jul 25, 2013

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    Every now and then I believe I'm better off

    dead. It all seems pointless to me... I figured out that what really ticks me off is when I get commented on about my hair and it has now become a daily thing... My friends too are becoming distant to me. One somewhat abandoned me for another person who doesn't even like him...
    fatality500 fatality500 13-15, M 2 Responses Nov 12

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    i just for once i dont want thoughts

    or feelings in my head anymore
    elephant17 elephant17 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    Imagine This

    Thinking about ending your life tonight? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You're just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and rewritten over and over and...
    BlurredBeyondTheStarsx BlurredBeyondTheStarsx 70+ 2 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    I know this is going to sound weird

    but I want to od on pain pills. Not to kill my self but to get into the hospital. I'm feeling very depressed and I don't know what else to do.
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 4 Responses Oct 24

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    I Wish I Dead Alot

    People always act like im not there.most of them ignore my questions.My Family hates me.    My mum when me and my brother fights tells me to get to my room and just leaves him alone.my mum has always loved my brother more and i tell.my dad moved cause he hated his life here...
    xxxunbrokenxxx xxxunbrokenxxx 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 10, 2011

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    I'm talking to this guy

    and he used to make me really happy but now he makes frustrates me more than anything and I don't want to lose him and I I left I would feel bad because he said that every girl has ended up hurting him and I don't want to be another one of those girls. But honestly idk what to...
    n0tw0rthanything n0tw0rthanything 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 9

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    At 21 years of age, I'm just waiting

    until money becomes a concern and I'm out. I will wait until my sister graduates high school so she will have a better understanding. It feels as if I was born into a game I never wanted to play.
    PuckDrop PuckDrop 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 18

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    Sometimes I just feel like I should just kill

    myself. I have nothing to live for. I have no friends, no one that cares for me. I'm always alone and have no one to spend time with. I'm worthless. All I do is go to school and work. I never have anyone that shows they care or gives me attention. I'm always pushed to the side...
    Bitterrsweet Bitterrsweet 18-21, F 18 Responses May 25

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    I see my therapist again tomorrow.

    I'm going to put on a brave face so she doesn't send me to the hospital again.
    ParanoidGirl ParanoidGirl 26-30 2 Responses Nov 13

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    I'm a cutter I haven't cut in 3 weeks

    but not I slipped I cut myself bad
    skyboy4545 skyboy4545 61-65, M 5 Responses Oct 4

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    No More...

    ..coz , now , I'm in love with my life. Its hard and everything., but, hey, whats life without different seasons of emotions???
    San051 San051 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 10, 2011

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    A message if you have suicidal feelings/

    everyday I feel like blasting my brains out but I found my purpose of living and nothing will get in my way of achieving it/ find your reason, don't just give up because there's more to life than waking up and looking good/ if it was that/ there wouldn't be any homeless in the...
    JDcent JDcent 16-17, M Jun 16

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    i let some ******* get under my skin

    so now im really upset and i asked my friends for help but no one is responding... i feel really alone right now and am only staying alive right now because im on vacation with my family and dont want my young cousins to see my body
    kinkykittymeow kinkykittymeow 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    Every time I shower I full up the tub,

    lay down, and hold my breath. I've always known but never admitted to myself that I'm waiting for the time I don't come back up. I leave that as a daily option.
    marchz13 marchz13 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    "You told me think about it,

    well I did, now I don't want to feel a thing anymore, I'm tired of begging for the things that I want, I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor. Imagine living like a king some day, a single night without a ghost in the wall, and if the bass shakes the earth underground, we'll...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 22

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    I never thought I would be the person

    who attempted suicide... but I was wrong
    MADSOUNDS MADSOUNDS 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 12

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    It's my parents. I wish I was dead.

    Then I wouldn't have to bear this pain and burden anymore. No one understands
    QueenBetcy QueenBetcy 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 28

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    The only thing stopping me from doing myself in

    is my family. Half of them wouldn't care but the ones that do care...I wouldn't want to inflict sadness on them. I wish I would get killed in some kind of freak accident then my death wouldn't be listed as a suicide. Then no one would know how sad and hopeless I really am.
    Bluesky86 Bluesky86 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 12

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    Time to go my lovely I'm tired of living im

    ready love u all tonight it's done
    skyboy4545 skyboy4545 61-65, M 6 Responses Oct 24

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    Nothing in my life has ever made me want to

    commit suicide more than people's reaction to my trying to commit suicide.