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I Have Suffered From Depression For Years

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 999 People

    I am tired. I grew up in a disfunctional middle

    class family. My mother is manic depressive bipolar, and my dad dealt with his problems by working and drinking. I never understood why my mother was "the way she was", if that makes sense. I was terrified that I would be like her. When I was pregnant with my first child, i was...
    EnglishBrand EnglishBrand 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 25

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    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Mar 4

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    On Depression

    i have had depression for most of my adult life.as well as low self esteem.put those together,and it makes for a rough life,as most people know.my brother died,hen i was around 30,im 44 no.i never liked him,he was an alcoholic,was biploar.he was a difficult person to be around...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 24, 2012

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    My friends think that i am happy

    because i am always laughing. When in reality I am crying myself to sleep wondering if this pain will ever end. It used to be worse I used to cut myself wondering when i would build enough courage to dig deeper and end it, but now I just cry and think that the world doesn't need...
    lolawolf lolawolf 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Suffering From Depression ~

    I have been suffering from varing degrees of depression for almost as long as I can remember. Throughout my teen years and into my early 20`s I delp with it by smothering it with drugs and alcohol. Which anyone knows only makes any problem worse. I now realize this is especially...
    novascotia novascotia 26-30, M Oct 17, 2010

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    I Wonder Why

    When you live with depression, you have a lot of time to think about things in general. I try to dissect it daily, I think in hopes of beating it somehow one day. I wonder what about it makes everything so overly painful. I mean excruciatingly mentally painful. It's not...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 3 Responses Jul 8, 2012

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    Today I went too the doctors.

    She told me I have anxiety and depression. I believe that is true. I have too be in a place alone too feel better about myself.
    Justadarkhole Justadarkhole 22-25, M Feb 11

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 6

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    Am i undeserving of a mother's love do you

    even love me? i feel like i was a mistake it's like the past all over again where you take everything out on me, i know im not perfect and i know i'm the child that always lets you down, you call me evil, you tell me i'm the reason your prayers dont get answered, what have i...
    sixlives sixlives 22-25, F Nov 1, 2014

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    I've been suffering from acute depression

    for years. I've hidden my illness for a long time because I figured that It would go away as I grow older. However, that has not been the case. I still somewhat suffer from depression, but thanks to God ( That conscious energy and life force ) and a loving family, I always...
    agathashelly agathashelly 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 13, 2014

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    I'm 22 And Have Depression

    Not a day goes by that I don't combat it. Combined with my asphergers syndrome it makes life very hear.
    Lux22 Lux22 22-25 2 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    I become depressed even

    though nothing is happening in my life which is common for people who suffer on and off for yrs. I also have arthritis in my right knee, and spine. Depression May Worsen Osteoarthritis Pain OA of the knee can cause joint pain, swelling and stiffness. As it worsens, it may begin...
    McCannT12 McCannT12 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    30 Years Now

    Some periods are more severe than others, but I've suffered off and on since I was ten years old. That was when a horrible, violent crime affected my family and changed the entire landscape of how I viewed the world. My little brother was kidnapped back in 1981, held hostage for...
    lauren71 lauren71 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 24, 2013

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    SpideyAlyx SpideyAlyx 13-15, M Jan 22

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    It All Started In 2nd Grade.

    I was bullied since 2nd grade. I moved to a new school and people were nice and then BOOM. we grow up. In 5th grade, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I don't take pills because my parents don't know about it. I secretly see a therapist. I have cut and I still do and I'm...
    Whisperedcries2 Whisperedcries2 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 24, 2012

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    It's like closing your eyes

    and being in a dark tunnel or pitch black roller coaster and seeing and hearing and feeling everything that's happened or gone wrong or been missing, bad decisions, everything for the past 25 years. And you can feel the drop coming in your stomach but you can't see it and you...
    losthope313 losthope313 36-40, F Jan 23

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    Loneliness

    As I get older I notice my depression getting worse and worse. Ever since I was a little kid I always had the hardest time making friends, I was always told I was unique but now I think I'm just too different from other people. I went to a private school and made a few friends...
    swimfast09 swimfast09 22-25 2 Responses Jun 28, 2013

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    Depression Is An Under-statement.

    Am a 22year old gal living with HIV/AIDS contrated through rape by my Dad. Am the only gal in the family and when my Mum Died, Dad turned me into his wife and raped me every night, when i refused he beat me so bad and threaten to stop paying tuition. Dad died in 2010, making me...
    AINE808 AINE808 18-21 Apr 27, 2012

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    The Old To The New

    I was a happy child, well loved and loved life. Pretty sheltered Now I think of it, not that I am from a good área, my mum just kept me away from bad kids. I started smoking pot, through boredom at 13. Was smoking every day after about 3 months. I kept a close circle happy being...
    bobby277 bobby277 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 20, 2012

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    My depression started back in high school

    around fifteen years old. By fourteen I finally knew what being gay was cause I had no idea despite having secret same sex attractions for years prior. What started as depression from loneliness and always being teased at school while hiding my sexuality branched out over the...
    DarkPhoenix1985 DarkPhoenix1985 26-30, M Oct 11, 2014

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    I love it when tears roll down my eyes.

    And I feel the wet drops of tears all over my face..
    AddictedToSelfDestruction AddictedToSelfDestruction 22-25, M Jan 22

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    I just want to get lost

    for a while, my thoughts are killing me... All I want to do is die
    Sadd363 Sadd363 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    I have been depressed off

    and on since I was 14 and I am now 20. most of the time I have no reason to be so sad. I just get so down and get anxiety. Sadly things like this run in my family. I just get Embarrassed because people around me don't understand. I'm not sure that I understand either. I'm...
    JustDevy JustDevy 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 24

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    Suffering From Depression ~

    I have been suffering from varing degrees of depression for almost as long as I can remember. Throughout my teen years and into my early 20`s I delp with it by smothering it with drugs and alcohol. Which anyone knows only makes any problem worse. I now realize this is especially...
    novascotia novascotia 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 17, 2010

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    why do i hate myself?

    ?? well we all have our own reasons as to why we hate our selves ah as years went by up until now there is no one i hate more than myself, i have created my own demons,the demons that haunt me every night, as sleep eludes mei am haunted by gruelling memories of my past. i look...
    sixlives sixlives 22-25, F Nov 4, 2014

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    No matter how bad i try to deny it

    or hide it...I still, no matter how bad ive tried fight it, have depression after all these years. Its like a dark cloud that just never goes away haunting you constantly making its presence known just when you think youre getting better. Making damn sure you arent happy for too...
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    Most likely this has to do with having been

    bullied at school, had tons of medical problems growing up (and some I've only recently confirmed, though I've always suspected), and generally feeling like a failure for not having ever been in any kind of relationship, never had sexual relations, have never been kissed, and am...
    halfblind79 halfblind79 31-35, M Mar 3

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    Depression Is Something Which Lots Of People Suffer With But The Extent Of It Varies...

    I'm not sure when it began but i have always had issues which i disliked about myself. the usual silly things which most girls dislike (hair, skin, weight). It seemed o gradually get out of control though, leading to eating disorders, trying desperately to change the way i looked...
    xxmollxx xxmollxx 18-21 2 Responses Oct 16, 2010

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    How I Feel... In A World Full Of Hate.

    Hi guys, I have a blog in which I pretty much say my beliefs and my feelings etc. I think you might be able to relate since I suffer from depression also : It would be nice to know somebody feels the same as me. Here is the link. http://world-of-perfectionists.blogspot.com.au/2...
    Jtraino Jtraino 16-17, F Nov 6, 2012

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    A lot of people don't know my past story,

    When I was in 6th grade I was diagnosed with depression, I had severe anxiety and I couldn't handle it. I tried over dosing on pain medication but it failed, I ended up in a hospital, then later that year I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, I never ate, ever. But I went...
    treya15 treya15 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 4, 2014

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    It started 5 years ago.

    Little by little, I started to drown. That is what depression feels like. Drowning. No matter how hard you try to keep your head above the water, you get dragged back down. It's suffocating. It started as crying. Over nothing. Hours of crying and crying for no reason. I stopped...
    SummerOf22 SummerOf22 18-21, F Jan 8

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    I hate the days where it seems a monumental

    task just to get by with the most basic effort. I am actually jealous of people who seem to always be fine. Their life looks peachy while I want to ******* scream just because I woke up again .
    WWB82 WWB82 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    Good morning, or is it?

    I must admit this weather is really getting to me. Waking up to the same routine for days on end... working hard to stay positive. Enjoy the "down" time... get caught up on work I'd been putting off, you know? Being married to who I am though, makes this time dreadfully painful...
    ExistsinHOPE ExistsinHOPE 51-55, F Feb 9

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    shethia shethia 18-21, F Jan 24

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    It's been pretty easy to cope with

    for a very long time, thanks to the fact that I stopped self-medicating years ago! But lately, it's been harder and harder to even think I'm a part of anything outside my house, or my laptop. My left is ruined; my right knee is already replaced-over 11 years ago. I'm fairly...
    TtotheD TtotheD 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 18, 2014

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    (The following is an article

    that I stumbled upon, that pertained DIRECTLY to the issues and problems that I ha ave been facing since I've been in my teens. This information might be able to help some of you who suffer the same things, and it is presented with the intention and hope that it can help...
    TtotheD TtotheD 56-60, M 5 Responses Feb 20, 2014

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    today is another one of those days?

    why the hell do I keep waking up? what am I good for? why do I have to keep doing this, feeling like this, day after day?
    WWB82 WWB82 31-35, F Feb 3

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    comfortablynumb4 comfortablynumb4 16-17, F Sep 9, 2014

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    I really need to talk to someone

    and just vent. I feel like my depression has completely taken over. I don't feel the same anymore. I use to be so happy, funny, loving and caring Nd now I just don't know who I am. I don't really know if I can even call it depression at this point. I try faking I'm happy but idk...
    DyingLightx DyingLightx 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 20

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    depression is like the wrecking ball

    and your like the wall it hits and hits to knock you over ..pushs u over the edge..honestly.
    sparksfly545 sparksfly545 13-15, F Feb 16

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    For as long as i can remember.

    ... Never actually sat and thought about it until now tho.
    lehcar1977 lehcar1977 36-40, F Dec 20, 2014

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    Depression Bcoz I Have No Kid Since 5 Yrs

    guys history s that iam married frm 5 yrs my husband s very nice he s cooperating with me alottt...but sometimes iam feeling very lonely no one s for me my husband with his work but when he come frm office he gave me time but whole day sometimes iam feeling very lonely wht can i...
    sadf30 sadf30 26-30 Sep 25, 2012

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    My depression comes and goes.

    Sometimes it's bad but not severe other times it's so severe, it becomes a battle I can't over come, a suicidal depression. Recently I was so so depressed that I thought everything was going wrong, I wanted to give up so bad! I hurt my friend, someone said to me that they would...
    juliaek1 juliaek1 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2014

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    I suffered from depression starting in

    elementary school due to being bullied in school and at home. It was on and off in 8th-10th grade. I tried committing suicide for the first time in 3rd grade. I cut in 6th. My insecurity issues got worse in high school and I was basically starving myself to be skinny. Now, I can...
    dashuria dashuria 16-17, F Nov 2, 2014

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    I was so depressed for years,

    I considered taking my life many times, as the voices in my head told me I was worthless and no one loved me. One day I gave Jesus my heart and told him that no Matter what it took I wanted to obey Him. He filled me with peace, set me free from those voices and now I hear them...
    ceruleanwaters ceruleanwaters 31-35, F Mar 2, 2014

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