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I Have Suffered From Depression For Years

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,358 People

    today is another one of those days?

    why the hell do I keep waking up? what am I good for? why do I have to keep doing this, feeling like this, day after day?
    WWB82 WWB82 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    It's like closing your eyes

    and being in a dark tunnel or pitch black roller coaster and seeing and hearing and feeling everything that's happened or gone wrong or been missing, bad decisions, everything for the past 25 years. And you can feel the drop coming in your stomach but you can't see it and you...
    losthope313 losthope313 36-40, F Jan 23

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    Don't make people with depression feel guilty

    for there lack of interest and motivation within things. It can not be helped.
    danyellelakin danyellelakin 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 4

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    It All Started In 2nd Grade.

    I was bullied since 2nd grade. I moved to a new school and people were nice and then BOOM. we grow up. In 5th grade, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I don't take pills because my parents don't know about it. I secretly see a therapist. I have cut and I still do and I'm...
    Whisperedcries2 Whisperedcries2 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 24, 2012

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    hello Darkness, we meet again :(

    so sad.. as always.. :(
    wonderfulIam wonderfulIam 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 22

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    No matter how bad i try to deny it

    or hide it...I still, no matter how bad ive tried fight it, have depression after all these years. Its like a dark cloud that just never goes away haunting you constantly making its presence known just when you think youre getting better. Making damn sure you arent happy for too...
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    More damage from meds

    than bullies. The wealthy committed a crime. And wont be punished. They paid to relabel seroquel. The new classification is legal. And the lawsuit solved nothing. Hence depression gets worse. As new problems arise When my body defeated seroquel. And the doctors...
    Converted Converted 46-50, M Jun 18

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    I've been suffering from acute depression

    for years. I've hidden my illness for a long time because I figured that It would go away as I grow older. However, that has not been the case. I still somewhat suffer from depression, but thanks to God ( That conscious energy and life force ) and a loving family, I always...
    agathashelly agathashelly 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 13, 2014

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    I have been depressed off

    and on since I was 14 and I am now 20. most of the time I have no reason to be so sad. I just get so down and get anxiety. Sadly things like this run in my family. I just get Embarrassed because people around me don't understand. I'm not sure that I understand either. I'm...
    JustDevy JustDevy 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 24

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    High school was a terrible part of my life,

    and I consider this the point where depression started to affect me. Throughout middle school, I had a couple of friends I could be myself around, but I was always the shy kid who preferred to stay in small groups. By the time I went to high school, I became more withdrawn and...
    erinw96 erinw96 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    it started when i was 9.

    I dont know how to get out from it. I think im pulling my boyfiend down with me. we dated for 2.5yrs now. I even get confused about staying with him or not. my depression makes me second guess everything. when i feel happy i find a reason not to be. its almost like i got so use...
    homerbonner homerbonner 18-21, F May 19

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    Depression Is Ruining My Life And Everything Around Me

    I just turned 25 and i suffer from anxiety depression I started noticing something was wrong with me around middle school I feel worthless and empty my self of steam is at an all time low its been a very tough time this past yr dealing with this depression is affecting my...
    Drew8728 Drew8728 22-25, M Oct 17, 2012

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    I became depressed in the 6th grade.

    That was the year that I was sexually assaulted by a few students on my bus. They threatened to beat me if I ever told anyone about it, so I stood quiet. That year was spent mostly in tears and I began to self-harm. I continued to do so for 3 years, until I finally had it. In...
    neutralbeanie neutralbeanie 13-15, T 1 Response Jun 19

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    Found this site randomly

    while browsing the internet in a depressed bout. Not sure what I'm expecting, I've sort of given up on the belief that human decency is even a real thing because of all my experiences. Ever since I moved to the NA at age 5 I've just wanted to leave... I'm 22 now. I hate America...
    Whitespark Whitespark 22-25, M Jun 19

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    So why tell a sad person to choose that.

    If they want to be gone why say okay. Why say they have to choose. Lately on ep i fight both. Staying And going. One member called his brother wrong For leaving earth. Me called the old moron wrong. Dont hate brother. Fix causes. Then another member said...
    Converted Converted 46-50, M Jun 18

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    I always ask myself why am I here I manage to

    give myself a positive answer but now it's getting harder
    jorgoth jorgoth 16-17, M 2 Responses May 11

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    Today I went too the doctors.

    She told me I have anxiety and depression. I believe that is true. I have too be in a place alone too feel better about myself.
    AwesomeGuyy22 AwesomeGuyy22 22-25, M Feb 11

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    I'm so so so sad :( I want to cry

    until I throw up or cry my sadness away :(
    wonderfulIam wonderfulIam 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 23

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    Hi there I'm crying. My name is Andrea

    and I´m a sunshine, funny girl at college and sweetest kid at home but most of all I´m depressed. I feel alone at all times and can´t find the strength to get out of bed in the mornings, I´m sorry that I´ve been so sad for so long and that nobody around me can help me. I´m...
    andre41697 andre41697 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    I Wonder Why

    When you live with depression, you have a lot of time to think about things in general. I try to dissect it daily, I think in hopes of beating it somehow one day. I wonder what about it makes everything so overly painful. I mean excruciatingly mentally painful. It's not...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 3 Responses Jul 8, 2012

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    Sometimes when you're depressed you just want

    to stay in bed. I wasn't feeling ok since yeasterday and this morning things were still f*cked up but I went to school anyway. I had to because we had a little exam and stuff. But almost everything went so wrong that I realised "the wanting to stay in bed" feeling is here to...
    Aragornie Aragornie 22-25, F May 14

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    I can't deal with society

    and day-today life any more. Going outside and facing the the negative judgement of others is too much to bear. I want to go completely off the grid. I'm desperately trying buy all the things I need to disappear into the wilderness where it's just me and nature - no people...
    Parvus Parvus 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 18

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    I was so depressed for years,

    I considered taking my life many times, as the voices in my head told me I was worthless and no one loved me. One day I gave Jesus my heart and told him that no Matter what it took I wanted to obey Him. He filled me with peace, set me free from those voices and now I hear them...
    ceruleanwaters ceruleanwaters 31-35, F Mar 2, 2014

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    I first started showing signs of major

    depressive disorder at age 9 and was officially diagnosed at age 14 in a psychiatric institution.
    leggyshay leggyshay 16-17, F Jun 18

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    It's been pretty easy to cope with

    for a very long time, thanks to the fact that I stopped self-medicating years ago! But lately, it's been harder and harder to even think I'm a part of anything outside my house, or my laptop. My left is ruined; my right knee is already replaced-over 11 years ago. I'm fairly...
    TtotheD TtotheD 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 18, 2014

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    Loneliness

    As I get older I notice my depression getting worse and worse. Ever since I was a little kid I always had the hardest time making friends, I was always told I was unique but now I think I'm just too different from other people. I went to a private school and made a few friends...
    swimfast09 swimfast09 22-25 2 Responses Jun 28, 2013

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    I've suffered depression

    for many years indeed. For the longest time I would just bottle every screwed up thought that I had. In high school I turned to creative writing doing poems/song so that I could go to the deep dark corners of my mind and just call it "art". This worked for quite a while and...
    mattywheels25 mattywheels25 26-30, M 2 Responses Jun 19

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    Good morning, or is it?

    I must admit this weather is really getting to me. Waking up to the same routine for days on end... working hard to stay positive. Enjoy the "down" time... get caught up on work I'd been putting off, you know? Being married to who I am though, makes this time dreadfully painful...
    ExistsinHOPE ExistsinHOPE 51-55, F Feb 9

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    This condition runs in my family,

    and I was diagnosed when I was in 7th grade..
    SentimentalMood SentimentalMood 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 18

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    My friends think that i am happy

    because i am always laughing. When in reality I am crying myself to sleep wondering if this pain will ever end. It used to be worse I used to cut myself wondering when i would build enough courage to dig deeper and end it, but now I just cry and think that the world doesn't need...
    lolawolf lolawolf 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    I used to go on and off with anxiety

    and then depression. However I never had any suicidal thoughts because I have a slight bit of arrogance thinking that I am very needed. People left and right said I should smoke pot but I'm not about that being asthmatic and such. Finally I found the right anti depressant which...
    ValhallaAwaits ValhallaAwaits 22-25, M Jun 19

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    For 15 years now and I know

    that the math would say I was 7 when it started and some people would say what would I have to be depressed about but in school and home my life wasn't that great, because of my step dad I was made to feel invisible and like I wasn't worth anything, me and my brothers being...
    Lahaynes14 Lahaynes14 22-25, M 1 Response May 12

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Mar 27

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    Today I went to turn in the final documents

    for a place to live. It didn't end well. Still homeless still depressed still angry. A friend asked if he could leave his weapon in my car. I said yes with thoughts of suicide in my mind. I tried to stay here with my family but they don't matter anymore. All that matters is my...
    BrokenWingedAngel BrokenWingedAngel 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 18

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    Depression, anxiety,

    and anger can overtake me. The anger is intoxicating, I can feel it radiate through my veins. The depression can be really bad. For years the meds I took worked, I was aware of the depression but could fight it. A month ago it overwhelmed me and I started to shut down. I...
    mslvr01 mslvr01 46-50, M 2 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    comfortablynumb4 comfortablynumb4 16-17, F Sep 9, 2014

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    Depression is like trekking through a thick,

    humid jungle. You're hacking away at vines and bushes that crowd your path, but only to find yourself halted at a river of quicksand; wider than the eye can see. Above you is a thick vine, one that you've just hacked apart on your way to this spot. It's frayed on the edges, but...
    littlelostfox littlelostfox 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    (The following is an article

    that I stumbled upon, that pertained DIRECTLY to the issues and problems that I ha ave been facing since I've been in my teens. This information might be able to help some of you who suffer the same things, and it is presented with the intention and hope that it can help...
    TtotheD TtotheD 56-60, M 5 Responses Feb 20, 2014

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    Ever since i was about 11 i have suffered from

    depression and anxiety. For years i suffered in silence until one day it became too much and thought about suicide and almost went threw with it until i met my best friend, for his privacy lets call him Mario. Mario made me feel so safe and treated me like a human being and...
    yvette20 yvette20 18-21, F 1 Response May 23

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    How I Feel... In A World Full Of Hate.

    Hi guys, I have a blog in which I pretty much say my beliefs and my feelings etc. I think you might be able to relate since I suffer from depression also : It would be nice to know somebody feels the same as me. Here is the link. http://world-of-perfectionists.blogspot.com.au/2...
    Jtraino Jtraino 16-17, F Nov 6, 2012

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    today I don't know why I'm

    even here... I am so utterly depressed that I cannot comprehend any emotion besides being sad... I try to be nice to others and I get snapped at- I try to be genuine and I am lied to... I can't go on much longer
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 22

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    Umm. Since 13, But found ways to cope.

    Advice on rebuilding. Love you first to locate love. EP Link The barriers. EP Link Carlin knew. http://youtu.be/rsL6mKxtOlQ Societys flaw. EP Link Dont believe those who bark unless they teach better. EP Link Try for living happy. EP Link Smile to...
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 27

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    Ever Since That Death

    Having been raped my Dad, contracting the illness HIV/AIDS, dropping out of school in my first year. Imagine loosing my Dad's property to my Uncles, i was totally left with nothing. For sure what kills people is not illness but depression. Am constanly thinking on how am will...
    AINE808 AINE808 18-21 1 Response Apr 27, 2012

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    Picture a long, deep,

    and dark tunnel. In this tunnel is nothing but absolute silence and stillness. Absolute darkness. At the end of the tunnel is a blinding, bright light that opens to a beautiful field, surrounded by lush and diverse forest. You're in this field. The sun shines down on you and...
    littlelostfox littlelostfox 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    I never write anything down

    when I’m depressed. It seems pointless. Not because I don’t have anything to say, but I feel like anything I write down will be a cliché. Some sad depression poem of how I can’t see a future for myself anymore. And I hate writing cliché’s. It’s so annoying to me. I...
    TrickRTreat17 TrickRTreat17 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 6

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    If you really think about it -legitimately sit

    and think about it- the idea that this unconquered misery of yours is born of deficient chemicals is quite ridiculous- and furthermore exasperating. The very concept makes you want to dig out that fleshy gray globule in your head, dice it up and lay it out on a stainless steel...
    LittleWhiteRoom LittleWhiteRoom 18-21, F 5 days ago

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