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I Have the Urge to Self Injure

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,313 People

    Relapse...

    It's been years since I've done anything but lately...especially these last couple days, some times I wan nothing more then to open a damn vain or something. I know how awful it sounds and I hate myself for thinking about it so much. But I feel like I just can't take it anymore...
    Jamie81390 Jamie81390 18-21, F Sep 7, 2013

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    This...Is Me.

    Hi :) My name is Lexi. My friends call me Lexi but my name is Alexis Dorrington. My past is long and complicated so sit back, It might take awhile. It all started when I was roughly 2 years old. Now I know what your thinking, "2?! Are you serious how the hell do expect us to...
    LexiSI LexiSI 13-15, F 1 Response May 27, 2013

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    3 Years

    It has been 3 years with no cutting and today was my downfall. I never forgot how great the relief is that I get from cutting, but I tried to put it behind me and failed. I'll admit this time I was scared, the cut was deeper than in the past and I had almost forgotten what to do...
    endlesswirl endlesswirl 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    I Need Distracting

    I'm just going to type some random ramblings to distract me from this urge to self harm (and as a random related thought, can I just say, I hate the picture for this group. Triggering much?) I don't want to do this but I find it so hard to resist. You being a complete douche...
    sezziy sezziy 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 15, 2010

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    Tired Of Fighting

    I want to give up. Im one week clean and cant hold back anymore
    BabyGirlAtHeart BabyGirlAtHeart 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2013

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    Not Right Now

    I don't have the urge right now, but I have had it before, sometimes quite frequently. Luckily, I have always been able to somehow resist those urges, no matter how strong. I think it's only because of the questions that will be asked of me afterward & the guilt & the shame. I...
    lyricalongings lyricalongings 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 7, 2010

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    Twisted Affair

    I want to feel the blade going deep into my skin. I want to watch as my blood flows. For peace comes to me in the moment I watch the damage I cause. All my life other people have done damage, and beat me down until I'm broke. But I finally have this one way I can cope. This one...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 5, 2013

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    I Self Harm

    Particularly when I'm very angry and want to take my anger out on others but can't. So then I turn it on myself. Sounds stupid, I know. But sometimes even the feel of the pain as the knife cuts into my flesh, the feel of the blood as it runs down my arm, feels like the anger and...
    AngryBlackChic20 AngryBlackChic20 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 30, 2012

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    It Never Fully Goes Away...

    The marks down my arms have finally begun to fade away, but got noticed for the first time about a week ago. I used the good old "clawed by a cat" excuse, they were very skeptical, but accepted it. My first tattoo was done to keep me from killing myself, as a reminder that i am...
    Fernwolf Fernwolf 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2012

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    Temptation

    I started cutting at 13 and stopped cutting at 27, but when I'm highly upset I do still get the urge. I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 9 Responses Mar 11, 2010

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    I have self harmed and still do.

    .. I have been recovering from cutting, but I have broke a few times, and wish I could just stay strong. I still harm in other ways, and I hate to be judged because I do self harm... You would never know unless I told you, I put on a smile and seem happy, but honestly I'm...
    Chiisai425 Chiisai425 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 15

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    Help From Instagram

    I used to self harm but on instagram I have found a few good pages that have helped me recover. recently I found a page called Beautifu11y_Tragic. its absolutely inspiring! if you suffer from depression, self harming, abuse, suicidal thoughts or anything, follow that page. as a...
    FreeMyHeart FreeMyHeart 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 5, 2013

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    Its a part of myself I'm not proud of.

    I started when I was fifteen. It's a sort of release, granted its not a good thing. I haven't in a long time but when things get bad I think about it. Maybe if I hurt physically it will take away from this torture inside?? I'm not sure I would do it now, but it is on my mind...
    dixiecrystal1 dixiecrystal1 18-21, F Mar 31

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    Now

    I want to cut. I want to hear the musical sigh of skin parting. I want to see the blood flow gently down my forearm, and fall upon my knee. I want to not feel the pain that haunts me every day. I want to be mystified by the liquid form of life itself exiting my hurting body. Then...
    Veronica4 Veronica4 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2011

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    I used to cut and sew parts of my body

    when I got down. Ever since I got with my husband, when he first found out he understood because he did the same thing. We helped each other out and whenever either of us get the urge to hurt ourselves we try to tell each other, that way we can talk each other out of it. I...
    MrsGrisham MrsGrisham 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    Scars

    I cut words on me... not for the pain or adrenaline feeling but for the scars. I feel like when i have the scars i feel better almost like it feels right like i deserve to have scars all over my body. I would also do other things to hurt myself i don't know why it gives me...
    BrokenObsession BrokenObsession 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    Urges

    I've never cut before, because I'm too much of a coward, but when things get particularly bad, like right now, I tend to get to the point where I feel the need to cut. But I just can't make myself do it.
    KiwiDan KiwiDan 18-21, M 5 Responses Apr 16, 2013

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    Urges..

    I stare at white pale paper.. black ink spreads, like some kind of creature.. a monochrome world, and i am its preacher.. my religion, calling me.. i dont know why i follow, but theres no light, no wheres apollo?.. i cannot see the day, unless i seize and fade.. i am so dark...
    topretend topretend 16-17, M 3 Responses Dec 10, 2011

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    ....but it's not because I'm sad.

    I'm just at the point where I start to think that if I just inflicted my own pain where it hurts, it would just go away...I know it makes no sense.
    IcyDragon IcyDragon 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 12

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    Email Me

    Right now at this very moment I am having huge, terrible urges to cut myself. I don't know where it's coming from, but it hit my right in the chest. Like the feeling you get when some kicks you in the stomach with full force. I don't want to cut and I am frightened because the...
    FarrahSpada FarrahSpada 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 30, 2013

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    Hurting Myself

    This is a terrible thing! I had a nightmare about my mother belittling me and woke up clawing my own face! Not to mention the scars on my arms from cutting myself....
    TheMorrigan TheMorrigan 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    Only Been 2 Days

    Its been two days since I have cut. Last night I don't know why or how but i fell into an extreme sadness. It hasn't gone away but there are intervals where it fades a little. But for the most part i feel horrid inside. As if some part of me broke off and died. The way I deal...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 27, 2012

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    Every Single Night...

    ... I hear the blades calling my name. "give in!" Im not giving in...at least not now. I stare at my bare arms, perfect. Not even a scratch. Why do i loathe that? I should be happy right? four months without cutting. Why do i want it soo bad but at the same time just cant.
    fourteenbluebirds fourteenbluebirds 13-15, F Dec 5, 2011

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    I Just Dont Know

    My life is so tough right now. Im only 15 but ive hone through more then you'll ever imagine. But this month is the worst for me first off i lost a friend her moms abuses her and i convinced my friend to call CPS and her mom wont let me see her. Shes been put on house arrest...
    toriaann98 toriaann98 16-17, F 1 Response May 24, 2013

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    Last night..for the first time I.

    What feels like forever. I cut. It felt so good. Yet at the same time I wanted it to be deeper and to hurt more. I then cried myself to sleep. Please pray that my parent doesn't see cause she will ground me and take everything away.
    Darkflowers Darkflowers 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    Pisscakes

    I had a good day. Detail.
    newmurderer newmurderer 70+ 3 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    Cant Stop :(

    I use to cut a lot and i still do every little bit but i haven't cut for over a week now but with all these thoughts going threw my head i have been thinking about it a lot i feel like if i cut the pain will stop . I feel really lost and alone and just like cutting is the only...
    cmcm123 cmcm123 18-21, F 2 Responses May 30, 2013

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    I just want to cut myself up real good.

    I want to replace the faded scars with bright new pink ones. I want to cut all over but I know I can't.
    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I Don't Cut But...

    I do have the tendency to scratch my arms until they are raw. I love it. It hurts so much for the next few days but it just makes me feel so much better. I really, really want to do it. I have been so upset and so frustrated despite my medication and I just want to hurt myself so...
    Rennakins Rennakins 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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    Cailey

    There's this girl I met on this website and she hurts herself I got to know her and now I love her like she's my own sister but she keeps saying she will kill herself and every time she does my heart breaks if she dies I'll die emotionally and hurt myself. I need to help her but...
    Wolf0278 Wolf0278 18-21, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2012

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    What A Release

    A warm wave flows through my body , a QUICK flood of warmth, from my toes up to my face. My pulse is racing, I'm sweaty and hot, yet cold chills are running up my spine. Butterflies in my stomach. Thoughts are racing through my head. Your a worthless drug addict, no wonder your...
    libra604 libra604 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 1, 2012

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    Damn It

    [long list of obscenities here] My mom saw my cuts again. I'm not ready to tell them everything thats wrong with me...Their not ready to know. *sigh*
    Hitshufflereplay Hitshufflereplay 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2011

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    Stopped By Force

    so two weeks ago i wrote a letter of my thoughts and how i think about cuting deep or oding or a tree and a rope then just after i had finsh my friend amber and i had a big fight went to my counsler about the fight then gave him the letter he said ill read it later i went ape...
    ToriJustTori ToriJustTori 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2012

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    Ran Out Of Bandages. . :/

    My self harm is getting worse each day. I cut more than once a day and I just can't stop I've tried, but I just can't do it. I need it. The blood. The sensation. The thrill. I don't do it to 'be cool' or 'fit in' I do it for my own personal reasons. . But everyday the cuts get...
    ImOkayNow ImOkayNow 16-17, F Sep 26, 2011

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    Scars

    The scars I show on the outside, from the razor digging... Slicing, cutting. Those are nothing compared to the mass of scars inside. Each cut I make externalizes it a bit more. The blood flowing down my leg is a substitute for the tears I won't let myself cry. I say to myself...
    Melly0678 Melly0678 31-35, F 1 Response May 24, 2013

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    I Need To Punish Myself

    At times I seem narcissistic and vain, but at times I feel so low, like a piece of ******* ****, so much that all I feel is shame and guilt. It's not enough to just feel like ****, I feel like I need to punish myself with physical pain. I need to cut myself and hurt myself...
    Kikiana1 Kikiana1 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I've been doing good with not harming myself.

    It's so hard though. I've done it since 6th grade. It turned into an addiction every now and then I get a strong urge to hurt myself.
    Mimi3430 Mimi3430 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2013

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    I Am Told To Hurt Myself

    When it comes to self- harm I don't cut or burn myself. I don't do what a lot of people do to release pain or anything. I don't do this out of choice or need. I am forced into hurting myself. Every day I have voices in my head screaming, criticizing me, hitting, shouting and...
    Nuggeten15 Nuggeten15 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    I haven't self harmed in months

    and it's been so hard and everything is starting to get bad again and nobody believes a word I say and it's so frustrating
    ccourrtney ccourrtney 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    Why Not?

    It's been over a year since I have cut... perhaps maybe even longer. However, there is hardly even a day that goes by when I don't think about doing it and picture doing it. It feels so wonderful and it removes so much guilt. I've talked to professionals before, and they always...
    zailiza zailiza 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2013

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    Documentary: Self Harm

    Have you self-harmed and want to share your story? You will be paid for your time. Location: world wide Format: online video interview. If in Ontario Canada, an in-person interview can be arranged. All work is carried out in a compassionate and respectful manner. Inbox with...
    clajournalism clajournalism 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 11, 2012

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    My parents don't trust me.

    I don't care if they think they're trying to protect me because the parental settings for what I can purchase have gone way to far, I have a tracker on my phone, security camera's in my house, and just now, my mom took my phone away for not being able to hold my anger in any...
    kannethabrown kannethabrown 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    The Times I Pinch My Ear

    Whenever times get really hard, I just need something else to focus on... just anything at all. But since I live with such uptight people, where I'm expected to be such a perfect little princess, I can't cut. I literally cannot bring myself to do it. I've literally had the keys...
    icewhip icewhip 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 16, 2011

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    My mom compares me to my cousin

    who is really smart and it got so bad that I burned myself I have the scar still I was 10 and I'm 16 now. I still burn myself from time to time.
    damagedprincess18 damagedprincess18 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2013

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    i just want the hurt to stop .

    ... & the only thing that seems to stop the hurt, at least for a little while is that tiny silver metal blade ...
    JeSt0099 JeSt0099 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    Just 1 Cut....

    I'm feeling extremely anxious lately, not just because this is the first Mother's Day since my mom passed, but I'm under a lot of stress. I just want to be happy. It's like there's always something or someone that's preventing it from happening. I know it's my own fault, I don't...
    lexus25 lexus25 26-30, F May 12, 2013

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    New Scars

    i had the urge to self injure last night and i did it...i haven't cut for 1 month which is a long time even for me and now i have new scars. all over my back and a few on my wrists. i always seem to get lost in my head when i cut...just watching the blade carve into my skin and...
    RavenWolf RavenWolf 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2011

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    Injure

    I guess I qualify since I have been dead twice and brought back. I did it to myself. The third try seems right around the corner.
    mailmanshadow mailmanshadow 51-55, M 1 Response Apr 1, 2012

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    My Story

    I have never really cut myself before... once, when I was younger I used to "think" about it a lot and one day when I was really upset I took a knife (it was very small and didn't cut well, though) and cut my finger. It burnt! It burnt a lot! And I haven't done it since. But...
    jsualmtha jsualmtha 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 3, 2013

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    Nightmare

    I had a seriously messed up dream last night. i dreamed that i was this girl (who wasn’t me but it was all from her viewpoint) & she had huge cuts all over her body, loads of them held together or caused by barbed wire which had been pushed into her legs. She was looking...
    artgirlxx artgirlxx 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 25, 2013

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    It's A Weird Addiction

    I never thought with just one cut that i'd be stolen for life. I don't like me and I like to hurt myself intentionally. It starts with a scratch, ends with scars It never really ends, until I'm found dead. I like to cut, I like to fall, I like the feeling of knowing my body...
    KISSndKILL KISSndKILL 18-21, F May 3, 2012

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    I'M Sorry

    I'm sorry for being so begative. I don't mean to be this way but it is the only way i can get my words out, even when i know no one is listening. I'm sorry for not being perfect. I'm sorry for not being good enough for anything or anyone. I'm sorry for constantly making mistakes...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 25, 2013

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    Urge To Cut

    The feeling just came on with a vengence. Everything just came rushing back to me and now I've become overwhelmed. I really feel like self injurying right now. The urge has come once again. I did it last night, but I feel like I need to do it again. I just can't seem to stop. Its...
    TragedyxInxWaiting TragedyxInxWaiting 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 19, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    It almost seems more comfortable to have low self esteem instead of getting your hopes up and feeling confident only to be crushed again. I guess what I am saying is it is easier...
    Offing Offing 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    With my first real post I want to be honest and open up with something that has been bothering me for years. I am sure several people post similar things but this is my honest and...
    SkipperSkips SkipperSkips 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    I'm super depressed and literally have nobody who cares about me. I self harm with my hair straightener and slowly press it against my skin and wait for it to slowly burn away at...
    sammylynn333 sammylynn333 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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