I Have the Urge to Self Injure

It has been 3 years with no cutting and today was my downfall. I never forgot how great the relief is that I get from cutting, but I tried to put it behind me and failed. I'll admit this time I was scared, the cut was deeper than in the...

I'm just going to type some random ramblings to distract me from this urge to self harm (and as a random related thought, can I just say, I hate the picture for this group. Triggering much?)

I don't want to do this but I find it so...

I had a seriously messed up dream last night. i dreamed that i was this girl (who wasn’t me but it was all from her viewpoint) & she had huge cuts all over her body, loads of them held together or caused by barbed wire which had been...

This is a terrible thing! I had a nightmare about my mother belittling me and woke up clawing my own face! Not to mention the scars on my arms from cutting myself....

I stare at white pale paper..
black ink spreads, like some kind of creature..
a monochrome world, and i am its preacher..
my religion, calling me..
i dont know why i follow, but theres no light, no wheres apollo?..
i cannot see the day...

i started cutting myself about 2 years ago and it's kind of been on and off, along the way it's been difficult and i've been in and out of therapy. last christmas i relapsed and started to do it again but worse and in more places. i was...

I want to cut. I want to hear the musical sigh of skin parting. I want to see the blood flow gently down my forearm, and fall upon my knee. I want to not feel the pain that haunts me every day. I want to be mystified by the liquid form...

I don't have the urge right now, but I have had it before, sometimes quite frequently. Luckily, I have always been able to somehow resist those urges, no matter how strong. I think it's only because of the questions that will be asked...

I started cutting at 13 and stopped cutting at 27, but when I'm highly upset I do still get the urge. I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.

I'm feeling extremely anxious lately, not just because this is the first Mother's Day since my mom passed, but I'm under a lot of stress. I just want to be happy. It's like there's always something or someone that's preventing it from...

I've never cut before, because I'm too much of a coward, but when things get particularly bad, like right now, I tend to get to the point where I feel the need to cut. But I just can't make myself do it.

The marks down my arms have finally begun to fade away, but got noticed for the first time about a week ago. I used the good old "clawed by a cat" excuse, they were very skeptical, but accepted it.

My first tattoo was done to keep me...

I cut words on me... not for the pain or adrenaline feeling but for the scars. I feel like when i have the scars i feel better almost like it feels right like i deserve to have scars all over my body. I would also do other things to...

When it comes to self- harm I don't cut or burn myself. I don't do what a lot of people do to release pain or anything. I don't do this out of choice or need. I am forced into hurting myself.

Every day I have voices in my head...

Whenever times get really hard, I just need something else to focus on... just anything at all. But since I live with such uptight people, where I'm expected to be such a perfect little princess, I can't cut. I literally cannot bring...

... I hear the blades calling my name.

"give in!"

Im not giving in...at least not now.

I stare at my bare arms, perfect. Not even a scratch. Why do i loathe that?
I should be happy right? four months without cutting.

Why do i want...

I'm sorry for being so begative. I don't mean to be this way but it is the only way i can get my words out, even when i know no one is listening. I'm sorry for not being perfect. I'm sorry for not being good enough for anything or...

I want to feel the blade going deep into my skin. I want to watch as my blood flows. For peace comes to me in the moment I watch the damage I cause. All my life other people have done damage, and beat me down until I'm broke. But I...

A warm wave flows through my body , a QUICK flood of warmth, from my toes up to my face. My pulse is racing, I'm sweaty and hot, yet cold chills are running up my spine. Butterflies in my stomach. Thoughts are racing through my head...

I had a good day.

Detail.