I Have the Urge to Self Injure

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,389 People

    I Need To Punish Myself

    At times I seem narcissistic and vain, but at times I feel so low, like a piece of ******* ****, so much that all I feel is shame and guilt. It's not enough to just feel like ****, I feel like I need to punish myself with physical pain. I need to cut myself and hurt myself...
    Kikiana1 Kikiana1
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 22, 2012

    I just want to cut myself up real good.

    I want to replace the faded scars with bright new pink ones. I want to cut all over but I know I can't.
    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 21, 2014

    The Times I Pinch My Ear

    Whenever times get really hard, I just need something else to focus on... just anything at all. But since I live with such uptight people, where I'm expected to be such a perfect little princess, I can't cut. I literally cannot bring myself to do it. I've literally had the keys...
    icewhip icewhip
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Dec 16, 2011

    I have been clean for 59 days

    and I don't want to relapse but I'm frustrated with myself and that's how it all started.
    pllisepic pllisepic
    18-21, F
    Jul 20, 2014

    I want to cut so much right now.

    I want to cut deeper and I want to bleed more. That's so ****** up but its what I feel. I need it. I cant stop this.
    FreeMyHeart FreeMyHeart
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 26, 2014

    My parents don't trust me.

    I don't care if they think they're trying to protect me because the parental settings for what I can purchase have gone way to far, I have a tracker on my phone, security camera's in my house, and just now, my mom took my phone away for not being able to hold my anger in any...
    kannethabrown kannethabrown
    16-17, F
    Apr 21, 2014

    I've been having really strong urges to burn

    myself the past few days, but I couldn't get time alone. Today I had plenty of alone time but then I couldn't decide if it would be better to make a new scar on my leg, forearm, or start anew on my shoulder. Having these feelings and acting as if it's normal behavior is so scary...
    bobthebobking bobthebobking
    18-21, T
    1 Response May 9, 2014

    My moods had changed I was bring nasty saying

    nasty things to my bf I had to make myself realise that it wasn't fair I had to prove that he didn't deserve this I picked up the hot burning iron and as it pressed on my skin it made me realise I have to stop bring moody and verbal having symptoms of a split personality
    cailowe cailowe
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 15, 2014

    Damn It

    [long list of obscenities here] My mom saw my cuts again. I'm not ready to tell them everything thats wrong with me...Their not ready to know. *sigh*
    Hitshufflereplay Hitshufflereplay
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 14, 2011

    I feel as if life has rejected me.

    After me and my gf broke up, I shut everyone out, I've already tried to kill myself once, and I'm going to try again tonight, I know that it's gonna kill her because she said she still loves me, but she can't come back to me because she has a bf already. Love is both the best...
    lovedrunk711 lovedrunk711
    18-21, M
    2 Responses May 15, 2014


    The scars I show on the outside, from the razor digging... Slicing, cutting. Those are nothing compared to the mass of scars inside. Each cut I make externalizes it a bit more. The blood flowing down my leg is a substitute for the tears I won't let myself cry. I say to myself...
    Melly0678 Melly0678
    36-40, F
    1 Response May 24, 2013

    Its a part of myself I'm not proud of.

    I started when I was fifteen. It's a sort of release, granted its not a good thing. I haven't in a long time but when things get bad I think about it. Maybe if I hurt physically it will take away from this torture inside?? I'm not sure I would do it now, but it is on my mind...
    dixiecrystal1 dixiecrystal1
    18-21, F
    Mar 31, 2014

    I Need Distracting

    I'm just going to type some random ramblings to distract me from this urge to self harm (and as a random related thought, can I just say, I hate the picture for this group. Triggering much?) I don't want to do this but I find it so hard to resist. You being a complete douche...
    sezziy sezziy
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Jun 15, 2010

    Urge To Cut

    The feeling just came on with a vengence. Everything just came rushing back to me and now I've become overwhelmed. I really feel like self injurying right now. The urge has come once again. I did it last night, but I feel like I need to do it again. I just can't seem to stop. Its...
    TragedyxInxWaiting TragedyxInxWaiting
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 19, 2011

    Hey...don't ignore this,

    just give me a chance to explain Don't grab your "tools" whenever you feel bad.Remind yourself what will happen if you give up.How are you going to deal with it and how are you going to feel?Then refocus your goals,is giving up that easy?The relief that comes from self-harming...
    ghostdolly ghostdolly
    16-17, F
    Jan 24, 2016

    It's A Weird Addiction

    I never thought with just one cut that i'd be stolen for life. I don't like me and I like to hurt myself intentionally. It starts with a scratch, ends with scars It never really ends, until I'm found dead. I like to cut, I like to fall, I like the feeling of knowing my body...
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 3, 2012

    Tired Of Fighting

    I want to give up. Im one week clean and cant hold back anymore
    LonelyMisfitt LonelyMisfitt
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 23, 2013
    imanski imanski
    18-21, F
    Jun 7, 2015

    My mom compares me to my cousin

    who is really smart and it got so bad that I burned myself I have the scar still I was 10 and I'm 16 now. I still burn myself from time to time.
    damagedprincess18 damagedprincess18
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 22, 2013

    Cant Stop :(

    I use to cut a lot and i still do every little bit but i haven't cut for over a week now but with all these thoughts going threw my head i have been thinking about it a lot i feel like if i cut the pain will stop . I feel really lost and alone and just like cutting is the only...
    cmcm123 cmcm123
    22-25, F
    2 Responses May 30, 2013

    I relapsed. My antidepressants made it worse

    and even made my bulimia worse. I know it's wrong but the weird thing is....I love the pain. I crave it and enjoy it. You'd think wow cutting yourself must hurt but it truly doesn't. It's dark and dangerous yet I envy it.
    XxBellabixtch49xX XxBellabixtch49xX
    16-17, F
    1 Response Apr 26, 2014

    What do you guys do or say

    when nosey people that ask you about your scars or cuts? I just look at them like they're stupid for asking and stare until they walk away or if I'm in a bad mood I may say something about "Do you live under a rock? What the **** does it look like?"
    ggbone ggbone
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 21, 2016

    If you are in need of "self harming" talk to me.

    I can help make the urges disappear. It only leaves scars that renin you I the bad things. Message me and I shall help you, do not be afraid.
    AnguishX AnguishX
    18-21, M
    May 9, 2014

    i haven't cut for quite a bit of time,

    but the urges grow worse and worse everyday, at times i just break down crying cause it's difficult, all i can do is just deal with it each day and fight it like if it were a battle, though i may have friends and my best friend i'v stopped asking for help from everyone, i see...
    MyBleedingRose227 MyBleedingRose227
    18-21, M
    Jun 12, 2014

    I've been doing good with not harming myself.

    It's so hard though. I've done it since 6th grade. It turned into an addiction every now and then I get a strong urge to hurt myself.
    Mimi3430 Mimi3430
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 4, 2013

    I have self harmed and still do.

    .. I have been recovering from cutting, but I have broke a few times, and wish I could just stay strong. I still harm in other ways, and I hate to be judged because I do self harm... You would never know unless I told you, I put on a smile and seem happy, but honestly I'm...
    Chiisai425 Chiisai425
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 15, 2014

    Every Single Night...

    ... I hear the blades calling my name. "give in!" Im not giving in...at least not now. I stare at my bare arms, perfect. Not even a scratch. Why do i loathe that? I should be happy right? four months without cutting. Why do i want it soo bad but at the same time just cant.
    fourteenbluebirds fourteenbluebirds
    13-15, F
    Dec 5, 2011

    I used to cut and sew parts of my body

    when I got down. Ever since I got with my husband, when he first found out he understood because he did the same thing. We helped each other out and whenever either of us get the urge to hurt ourselves we try to tell each other, that way we can talk each other out of it. I...
    MrsGrisham MrsGrisham
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 22, 2014

    I Self Harm

    Particularly when I'm very angry and want to take my anger out on others but can't. So then I turn it on myself. Sounds stupid, I know. But sometimes even the feel of the pain as the knife cuts into my flesh, the feel of the blood as it runs down my arm, feels like the anger and...
    AngryBlackChic20 AngryBlackChic20
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 30, 2012

    i just want the hurt to stop .

    ... & the only thing that seems to stop the hurt, at least for a little while is that tiny silver metal blade ...
    JeSt0099 JeSt0099
    18-21, F
    Apr 21, 2014

    It Never Fully Goes Away...

    The marks down my arms have finally begun to fade away, but got noticed for the first time about a week ago. I used the good old "clawed by a cat" excuse, they were very skeptical, but accepted it. My first tattoo was done to keep me from killing myself, as a reminder that i am...
    Fernwolf Fernwolf
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 16, 2012

    New Scars

    i had the urge to self injure last night and i did it...i haven't cut for 1 month which is a long time even for me and now i have new scars. all over my back and a few on my wrists. i always seem to get lost in my head when i cut...just watching the blade carve into my skin and...
    RavenWolf RavenWolf
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 16, 2011

    What A Release

    A warm wave flows through my body , a QUICK flood of warmth, from my toes up to my face. My pulse is racing, I'm sweaty and hot, yet cold chills are running up my spine. Butterflies in my stomach. Thoughts are racing through my head. Your a worthless drug addict, no wonder your...
    libra604 libra604
    26-30, M
    1 Response Feb 1, 2012

    I'm having unsafe feelings right

    now , I don't wanna cut more , my scars are ugly . idk how to cope in a healthier way though !! someone please help me .
    adaytothehorizon adaytothehorizon
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 21, 2014


    I had a good day. Detail.
    newmurderer newmurderer
    3 Responses Jun 6, 2010

    I'm about 10 months clean,

    but I always seem to want to cut myself
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Mar 6, 2016

    ....but it's not because I'm sad.

    I'm just at the point where I start to think that if I just inflicted my own pain where it hurts, it would just go away...I know it makes no sense.
    TheIceDragonReturns TheIceDragonReturns
    4 Responses Mar 12, 2014

    114 days clean.... Really want to break it.

    .. I just want something to be normal
    Sammilynn812 Sammilynn812
    22-25, F
    Mar 4, 2016

    Two months clean. I think I'm doing good,

    really. I haven't been constantly wanting to kill myself, so that's a start. I think I can actually do it this time. I hope so. Maybe I'll reach my goal of a year.
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 29, 2015

    Enough said I guess..

    .. Too bad I can't...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jan 15, 2016

    I bought a new knife

    and I want to use it but I'm scared of people noticing :/. bc then if people say something that'll make me want to cut more !!! where can I cut where no one can see ?
    imanski imanski
    18-21, F
    Jun 7, 2015

    Not Right Now

    I don't have the urge right now, but I have had it before, sometimes quite frequently. Luckily, I have always been able to somehow resist those urges, no matter how strong. I think it's only because of the questions that will be asked of me afterward & the guilt & the shame. I...
    lyricalongings lyricalongings
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Jun 7, 2010

    Last night..for the first time I.

    What feels like forever. I cut. It felt so good. Yet at the same time I wanted it to be deeper and to hurt more. I then cried myself to sleep. Please pray that my parent doesn't see cause she will ground me and take everything away.
    Darkflowers Darkflowers
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 3, 2014

    I haven't self harmed in months

    and it's been so hard and everything is starting to get bad again and nobody believes a word I say and it's so frustrating
    ccourrtney ccourrtney
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 3, 2014


    I stare at white pale paper.. black ink spreads, like some kind of creature.. a monochrome world, and i am its preacher.. my religion, calling me.. i dont know why i follow, but theres no light, no wheres apollo?.. i cannot see the day, unless i seize and fade.. i am so dark...
    topretend topretend
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Dec 10, 2011

    Stopped By Force

    so two weeks ago i wrote a letter of my thoughts and how i think about cuting deep or oding or a tree and a rope then just after i had finsh my friend amber and i had a big fight went to my counsler about the fight then gave him the letter he said ill read it later i went ape...
    ToriJustTori ToriJustTori
    22-25, F
    Aug 25, 2012


    I started cutting at 13 and stopped cutting at 27, but when I'm highly upset I do still get the urge. I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit
    36-40, F
    9 Responses Mar 11, 2010
    redphoenix02 redphoenix02
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Feb 25, 2016


    I want to cut. I want to hear the musical sigh of skin parting. I want to see the blood flow gently down my forearm, and fall upon my knee. I want to not feel the pain that haunts me every day. I want to be mystified by the liquid form of life itself exiting my hurting body. Then...
    Veronica4 Veronica4
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 4, 2011
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