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I Have the Urge to Self Injure

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,396 People

    I feel as if life has rejected me.

    After me and my gf broke up, I shut everyone out, I've already tried to kill myself once, and I'm going to try again tonight, I know that it's gonna kill her because she said she still loves me, but she can't come back to me because she has a bf already. Love is both the best...
    lovedrunk711 lovedrunk711 16-17, M 2 Responses May 15

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    My Mum Found Out

    I've been self harming since i was around 11 or 12 because i became depressed and I just wanted to punish myself for being me and since march I've been cutting my arms properly with a razor. I thought I was becoming addicted because I was doing it even when I wasn't upset or...
    amysfc95 amysfc95 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 3, 2011

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    Tired Of Fighting

    I want to give up. Im one week clean and cant hold back anymore
    LonelyMisfitt LonelyMisfitt 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2013

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    I Need Distracting

    I'm just going to type some random ramblings to distract me from this urge to self harm (and as a random related thought, can I just say, I hate the picture for this group. Triggering much?) I don't want to do this but I find it so hard to resist. You being a complete douche...
    sezziy sezziy 22-25, F 5 Responses Jun 15, 2010

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    Cant Stop :(

    I use to cut a lot and i still do every little bit but i haven't cut for over a week now but with all these thoughts going threw my head i have been thinking about it a lot i feel like if i cut the pain will stop . I feel really lost and alone and just like cutting is the only...
    cmcm123 cmcm123 22-25, F 2 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Email Me

    Right now at this very moment I am having huge, terrible urges to cut myself. I don't know where it's coming from, but it hit my right in the chest. Like the feeling you get when some kicks you in the stomach with full force. I don't want to cut and I am frightened because the...
    FarrahSpada FarrahSpada 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 30, 2013

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    It Never Fully Goes Away...

    The marks down my arms have finally begun to fade away, but got noticed for the first time about a week ago. I used the good old "clawed by a cat" excuse, they were very skeptical, but accepted it. My first tattoo was done to keep me from killing myself, as a reminder that i am...
    Fernwolf Fernwolf 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 16, 2012

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    Every Single Night...

    ... I hear the blades calling my name. "give in!" Im not giving in...at least not now. I stare at my bare arms, perfect. Not even a scratch. Why do i loathe that? I should be happy right? four months without cutting. Why do i want it soo bad but at the same time just cant.
    fourteenbluebirds fourteenbluebirds 13-15, F Dec 5, 2011

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    I relapsed. My antidepressants made it worse

    and even made my bulimia worse. I know it's wrong but the weird thing is....I love the pain. I crave it and enjoy it. You'd think wow cutting yourself must hurt but it truly doesn't. It's dark and dangerous yet I envy it.
    XxBellabixtch49xX XxBellabixtch49xX 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 26

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    I Am Told To Hurt Myself

    When it comes to self- harm I don't cut or burn myself. I don't do what a lot of people do to release pain or anything. I don't do this out of choice or need. I am forced into hurting myself. Every day I have voices in my head screaming, criticizing me, hitting, shouting and...
    Nuggeten15 Nuggeten15 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    I have self harmed and still do.

    .. I have been recovering from cutting, but I have broke a few times, and wish I could just stay strong. I still harm in other ways, and I hate to be judged because I do self harm... You would never know unless I told you, I put on a smile and seem happy, but honestly I'm...
    Chiisai425 Chiisai425 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 15

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    Relapse...

    It's been years since I've done anything but lately...especially these last couple days, some times I wan nothing more then to open a damn vain or something. I know how awful it sounds and I hate myself for thinking about it so much. But I feel like I just can't take it anymore...
    Jamie81390 Jamie81390 18-21, F Sep 7, 2013

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    I Just Dont Know

    My life is so tough right now. Im only 15 but ive hone through more then you'll ever imagine. But this month is the worst for me first off i lost a friend her moms abuses her and i convinced my friend to call CPS and her mom wont let me see her. Shes been put on house arrest...
    toriaann98 toriaann98 16-17, F 1 Response May 24, 2013

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    Why Not?

    It's been over a year since I have cut... perhaps maybe even longer. However, there is hardly even a day that goes by when I don't think about doing it and picture doing it. It feels so wonderful and it removes so much guilt. I've talked to professionals before, and they always...
    zailiza zailiza 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2013

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    Help From Instagram

    I used to self harm but on instagram I have found a few good pages that have helped me recover. recently I found a page called Beautifu11y_Tragic. its absolutely inspiring! if you suffer from depression, self harming, abuse, suicidal thoughts or anything, follow that page. as a...
    FreeMyHeart FreeMyHeart 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 5, 2013

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    Temptation

    I started cutting at 13 and stopped cutting at 27, but when I'm highly upset I do still get the urge. I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 9 Responses Mar 11, 2010

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    It's A Weird Addiction

    I never thought with just one cut that i'd be stolen for life. I don't like me and I like to hurt myself intentionally. It starts with a scratch, ends with scars It never really ends, until I'm found dead. I like to cut, I like to fall, I like the feeling of knowing my body...
    KISSndKILL KISSndKILL 18-21, F 1 Response May 3, 2012

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    Do It, Do It, Do It

    A few months ago I decided to stop cutting myself.  However, in the past couple weeks or so the urge to cut myself has grow.  Every time my mom gets upset with me, or I get angry at someone or I feel really depressed then I get this urge to cut myself, as a punishment...
    FallingStarr FallingStarr 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 17, 2010

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    Stopped By Force

    so two weeks ago i wrote a letter of my thoughts and how i think about cuting deep or oding or a tree and a rope then just after i had finsh my friend amber and i had a big fight went to my counsler about the fight then gave him the letter he said ill read it later i went ape...
    ToriJustTori ToriJustTori 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2012

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    My Story

    I have never really cut myself before... once, when I was younger I used to "think" about it a lot and one day when I was really upset I took a knife (it was very small and didn't cut well, though) and cut my finger. It burnt! It burnt a lot! And I haven't done it since. But...
    jsualmtha jsualmtha 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 3, 2013

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    Urges..

    I stare at white pale paper.. black ink spreads, like some kind of creature.. a monochrome world, and i am its preacher.. my religion, calling me.. i dont know why i follow, but theres no light, no wheres apollo?.. i cannot see the day, unless i seize and fade.. i am so dark...
    topretend topretend 16-17, M 3 Responses Dec 10, 2011

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    i just want the hurt to stop .

    ... & the only thing that seems to stop the hurt, at least for a little while is that tiny silver metal blade ...
    JeSt0099 JeSt0099 13-15, F Apr 21

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    Its a part of myself I'm not proud of.

    I started when I was fifteen. It's a sort of release, granted its not a good thing. I haven't in a long time but when things get bad I think about it. Maybe if I hurt physically it will take away from this torture inside?? I'm not sure I would do it now, but it is on my mind...
    dixiecrystal1 dixiecrystal1 18-21, F Mar 31

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    Documentary: Self Harm

    Have you self-harmed and want to share your story? You will be paid for your time. Location: world wide Format: online video interview. If in Ontario Canada, an in-person interview can be arranged. All work is carried out in a compassionate and respectful manner. Inbox with...
    clajournalism clajournalism 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 11, 2012

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    I Need To Punish Myself

    At times I seem narcissistic and vain, but at times I feel so low, like a piece of ******* ****, so much that all I feel is shame and guilt. It's not enough to just feel like ****, I feel like I need to punish myself with physical pain. I need to cut myself and hurt myself...
    Kikiana1 Kikiana1 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 22, 2012

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    I haven't self harmed in months

    and it's been so hard and everything is starting to get bad again and nobody believes a word I say and it's so frustrating
    ccourrtney ccourrtney 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    i haven't cut for quite a bit of time,

    but the urges grow worse and worse everyday, at times i just break down crying cause it's difficult, all i can do is just deal with it each day and fight it like if it were a battle, though i may have friends and my best friend i'v stopped asking for help from everyone, i see...
    Rememberme79 Rememberme79 16-17, M Jun 12

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    I have been clean for 59 days

    and I don't want to relapse but I'm frustrated with myself and that's how it all started.
    pllisepic pllisepic 13-15, F Jul 20

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    I've been doing good with not harming myself.

    It's so hard though. I've done it since 6th grade. It turned into an addiction every now and then I get a strong urge to hurt myself.
    Mimi3430 Mimi3430 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2013

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    New Scars

    i had the urge to self injure last night and i did it...i haven't cut for 1 month which is a long time even for me and now i have new scars. all over my back and a few on my wrists. i always seem to get lost in my head when i cut...just watching the blade carve into my skin and...
    RavenWolf RavenWolf 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2011

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    Only Been 2 Days

    Its been two days since I have cut. Last night I don't know why or how but i fell into an extreme sadness. It hasn't gone away but there are intervals where it fades a little. But for the most part i feel horrid inside. As if some part of me broke off and died. The way I deal...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 27, 2012

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    I used to cut and sew parts of my body

    when I got down. Ever since I got with my husband, when he first found out he understood because he did the same thing. We helped each other out and whenever either of us get the urge to hurt ourselves we try to tell each other, that way we can talk each other out of it. I...
    MrsGrisham MrsGrisham 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 22

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    My parents don't trust me.

    I don't care if they think they're trying to protect me because the parental settings for what I can purchase have gone way to far, I have a tracker on my phone, security camera's in my house, and just now, my mom took my phone away for not being able to hold my anger in any...
    kannethabrown kannethabrown 13-15, F Apr 21

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    What A Release

    A warm wave flows through my body , a QUICK flood of warmth, from my toes up to my face. My pulse is racing, I'm sweaty and hot, yet cold chills are running up my spine. Butterflies in my stomach. Thoughts are racing through my head. Your a worthless drug addict, no wonder your...
    libra604 libra604 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 1, 2012

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    The Times I Pinch My Ear

    Whenever times get really hard, I just need something else to focus on... just anything at all. But since I live with such uptight people, where I'm expected to be such a perfect little princess, I can't cut. I literally cannot bring myself to do it. I've literally had the keys...
    icewhip icewhip 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 16, 2011

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    I just want to cut myself up real good.

    I want to replace the faded scars with bright new pink ones. I want to cut all over but I know I can't.
    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    Last night..for the first time I.

    What feels like forever. I cut. It felt so good. Yet at the same time I wanted it to be deeper and to hurt more. I then cried myself to sleep. Please pray that my parent doesn't see cause she will ground me and take everything away.
    Darkflowers Darkflowers 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    Scars

    The scars I show on the outside, from the razor digging... Slicing, cutting. Those are nothing compared to the mass of scars inside. Each cut I make externalizes it a bit more. The blood flowing down my leg is a substitute for the tears I won't let myself cry. I say to myself...
    Melly0678 Melly0678 36-40, F 1 Response May 24, 2013

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    Not Right Now

    I don't have the urge right now, but I have had it before, sometimes quite frequently. Luckily, I have always been able to somehow resist those urges, no matter how strong. I think it's only because of the questions that will be asked of me afterward & the guilt & the shame. I...
    lyricalongings lyricalongings 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 7, 2010

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    My moods had changed I was bring nasty saying

    nasty things to my bf I had to make myself realise that it wasn't fair I had to prove that he didn't deserve this I picked up the hot burning iron and as it pressed on my skin it made me realise I have to stop bring moody and verbal having symptoms of a split personality
    cailowe cailowe 16-17, F 1 Response May 15

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    If you are in need of "self harming" talk to me.

    I can help make the urges disappear. It only leaves scars that renin you I the bad things. Message me and I shall help you, do not be afraid.
    AnguishX AnguishX 16-17, M May 9

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    My mom compares me to my cousin

    who is really smart and it got so bad that I burned myself I have the scar still I was 10 and I'm 16 now. I still burn myself from time to time.
    damagedprincess18 damagedprincess18 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2013

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    Pisscakes

    I had a good day. Detail.
    newmurderer newmurderer 70+ 3 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    Urge To Cut

    The feeling just came on with a vengence. Everything just came rushing back to me and now I've become overwhelmed. I really feel like self injurying right now. The urge has come once again. I did it last night, but I feel like I need to do it again. I just can't seem to stop. Its...
    TragedyxInxWaiting TragedyxInxWaiting 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 19, 2011

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    Damn It

    [long list of obscenities here] My mom saw my cuts again. I'm not ready to tell them everything thats wrong with me...Their not ready to know. *sigh*
    Hitshufflereplay Hitshufflereplay 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2011

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    Injure

    I guess I qualify since I have been dead twice and brought back. I did it to myself. The third try seems right around the corner.
    mailmanshadow mailmanshadow 51-55, M 1 Response Apr 1, 2012

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    Now

    I want to cut. I want to hear the musical sigh of skin parting. I want to see the blood flow gently down my forearm, and fall upon my knee. I want to not feel the pain that haunts me every day. I want to be mystified by the liquid form of life itself exiting my hurting body. Then...
    Veronica4 Veronica4 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2011

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    This...Is Me.

    Hi :) My name is Lexi. My friends call me Lexi but my name is Alexis Dorrington. My past is long and complicated so sit back, It might take awhile. It all started when I was roughly 2 years old. Now I know what your thinking, "2?! Are you serious how the hell do expect us to...
    LexiSI LexiSI 13-15, F May 27, 2013

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    ....but it's not because I'm sad.

    I'm just at the point where I start to think that if I just inflicted my own pain where it hurts, it would just go away...I know it makes no sense.
    TheIceDragonReturns TheIceDragonReturns 18-21 4 Responses Mar 12

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    I'm 22 years old. I don't feel like I fit in

    this group anymore, but also like I'm tainted. I started cutting myself when I was 13. And I've been through a lot of the things people post on this experience. But I can't relate anymore. I don't hate my parents. My parents have no control over me anymore, so they don't affect...
    IAlreadyDontLikeYou IAlreadyDontLikeYou 22-25, F 1 Response May 15

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    I'm having unsafe feelings right

    now , I don't wanna cut more , my scars are ugly . idk how to cope in a healthier way though !! someone please help me .
    adaytothehorizon adaytothehorizon 16-17, F 1 Response May 21

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