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I Have Thought About Suicde

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,325 People

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    Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out...
    MissJessicurr MissJessicurr 18-21, F 8 Responses Oct 19, 2012

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    Maybe I should drive.

    Home . Drunk. Drive over a cliff into the river.. Would anyone even care? If I died In a car accident? How could you live with yourself now? Treating me this wAy to lead me to driving over a bridge... "Suicide isn't cowardly. What's cowardly is pushing someone so hard to the...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 4 Responses May 6

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    I haven't thought about it in at least 4 months,

    but today I was overwhelmed with stress and it resulted in what I can only describe as an attack of some sort, where I was so convinced that I had to commit suicide that the thought completely flooded my mind. It happened in the middle of class and it took all my energy not to...
    PapaSun56 PapaSun56 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 27

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    I have thought about suicide

    when i was a kid and i still do but now i just hide all my feels im literally a soulless doll that doesn't say to many words. I watch everything thats going people don't know this but i know thing they dont want every one esle to know...
    LolipopGummi LolipopGummi 18-21, T 2 Responses Mar 7, 2014

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    I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on

    here. I never posted an experience but the people here are all so nice and let me know that I'm not alone. Even if you don't know my story I know that I can talk on here and that I won't be judged!
    skysplits skysplits 16-17, F May 28, 2014

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    Sorry Pink... In the darkest of hours,

    the darkness of night. I pray for you to find me, to take away my fight. Sodden tremors from a far away place, threatens to consume the smile upon my face. As gods mercy filters through this land, save me from the torture of my own hands. The tiny treasures I find, have been...
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 1 Response May 20

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    Right now this would be the most ideal thing.

    .. I just don't want to go on in this much pain and suffering... But I don't want others to suffer so I have to stay strong and suffer for others. I feel so broken and overwhelmed right now it's ridiculous :/ some one please ****** save me for this hell I'm living!!!! Save me...
    Catho Catho 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    I am still here, and I know

    that I am a fighter. I may feel like ending my life, but I should be proud of myself for coming a long way and still being strong. But this battle will never end. That's the sad part.
    llovelyfallenangell llovelyfallenangell 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 17, 2014

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    4sh1ynn 4sh1ynn 13-15, F 25 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    forceful digging fury in my mind is the sweat

    and fear worth my time one tiny shred of evidence will surly be the death of my innocence fly away free never feeling the consequences or stay and see the beauty that life possess the devil weaves a magical spell either way I'm left stuck inside a cell
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    Crap can just be overwhelming!

    So the thoughts are bound to happen. But I believe there's always a way out of that darkness. For me it was God and His Son My Lord Savior Jesus Christ. Still hard at times, but I deal and keep moving. No one said it was easy. Whether it's faith, religion, someone to talk...
    Salute2MyFlaws Salute2MyFlaws 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    I realized... My life really opened up

    and actually felt like it was beginning after my dad died. Sure it felt great, but who knows? Maybe I'm a burden to someone else like my dad was to me... I wonder if anyone's life will become brighter once I'm gone? I already know a handful of people will feel bad, but really...
    iamFrightened iamFrightened 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    August 26, 2011

    This was one of the worst days of my life. Actually, it started a incredibly bad downward slide that still now has not reached the bottom. I sat on my couch, alone in my place. My wife was out 'scoring'....part of the problem... The money was gone. All of it. Things were being...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 4 Responses May 2, 2013

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    I've thought about it,

    but my grandmother always said it was the ultimate sin.
    dirtydarkness dirtydarkness 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 20

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    Many may not like what I say

    but it's EP and I can pretty much put it all out there if I choose. My thought on suicide is that it is one of the weakest, selfish and most cowardly things that a person can do. And before you tell me I don't have a right to say those words allow me to point out that indeed I...
    pinkstarburst pinkstarburst 41-45, F 7 Responses May 20

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    i think about it everyday,

    if i just had the right tool ( the shotgun ) i'd probably would have done it long time ago. that's the way i wanna go ,quick and painless, shotgun to the head. easy way out. i'm as good as dead anyway even though i'm alive..somewhere along the way something big died inside me...
    mistywillow mistywillow 22-25, M 6 Responses Apr 20

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    lost my job, my partner,

    family is wrecked, friends dwindled. this all happened at the same time. I feel like I have nothing. just perpetually on my couch watching Netflix.
    techassassin techassassin 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 20

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    I think I understand it now

    and I knew it all along, No matter how hard I really tried I never did belong. I really do get it now and I really can see How much you hate me here, how you wish it was you three. How could I have been so stupid or naive To think that any of you would care enough to grieve...
    ShyButterfly04 ShyButterfly04 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 11

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    My names amber and I have thought about suicide

    a lot. I have so many problems at home and school is really stressful. My parents don't understand how hard it could be to be a teenager, they think "you only go to school and back so why should you be tired?" But they don't understand how frustrating school is. My friends act...
    diamond104 diamond104 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 16, 2014

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    Yep quite a lot. I have drunk bleach

    and overdosed on pills but I'm not yet dead. I was thinking about killing myself this summer but it cannot happen now because I have the eyes of my friends and family on me but i don't doubt the fact that I am still capable of doing it.
    littlecrazymia littlecrazymia 13-15, F 6 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    I guess I am the outcast of the family.

    .. You proved that by letting me be the only one to not know what happened. Thanks for telling me. Thanks for caring about me. Thanks for forgetting about me. Thanks for nothing.
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M a week ago

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    I think about it some times.

    How it would be easy just to wipe my self a way from the miserable life. That there's gonna come the day where everything I said or did will no longer matter. That, what's the point really. I'd just be helping a lot of people out by disappearing, better yet, probably not being...
    catherineeac catherineeac 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 4, 2014

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    I do not know where to start

    but I will try my best I'm 26 years old and I live with my mother and my sister (she's 23). I want to leave my country this year, i have to but what would I do there? I do not have a place to stay, the money is almost gone at that point, my knowledge of English is not enough far...
    Brainissue Brainissue 26-30, M May 14

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    I don't want to hurt my family.

    I can't go through with it because I can't bear the thought of traumatizing them like that. I guess that's what keeps me going :)
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 17, 2014

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    Sometimes i feel like leaving my house

    and throwing myself off a bridge. I just wanted to say that and get it off my chest.
    jaylol jaylol 22-25, M 4 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    I am a 17 year old girl

    and I am not ashamed to admit that I know how to spell suicide Thank you
    ScarM3 ScarM3 16-17, F 2 Responses May 14

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    I keep confiding in people

    that I plan to commit suicide and no one takes me seriously. So much for being cared for and missed and all that crap.
    PurpleHart PurpleHart 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 5, 2014

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    i remebered when i was soo depressed

    that i actually thought about walking into traffic and letting myself get ran over by cars. my head was in such a dark place. i wouldint wish it on my worse enemy. i remember i couldint understand why ppl got depressed like cheer up? its just feelings?? but its much more than...
    Muffin19 Muffin19 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 20

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    Honestly **** everything.

    Nothing I ever do is ever good enough. I just wish I can go to sleep and never wake up.
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 21, 2014

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    Dear mother, I love you,

    I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. Dear father, forgive me, cause I'm your eyes I just never added up. It's a long and lonely road, when you know you walk alone. Dear brother, just don't hate me. For never standing by you, or being by your side. Dear sister, please don't blame me...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    Thing is... I need someone

    who loves me... I need someone to want me.. I need someone to need me. When I'm in love, that person has such a significant impact on me. They help me to get better.. The only thing is... Being depressed will reflect those people away... They don't find it attractive, they find...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses May 9

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    Catho Catho 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 22

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    Right now it sounds like the best idea.

    I am not even tired of life anymore it's just the fact that i can't take it anymore.
    Dummy911 Dummy911 16-17, F 14 Responses Apr 24

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    I have planned to try to kill myself

    while driving so that it looks like an accident but worried it will not work and have to pay for the damage. And anyway I do not know what good luck is around the corner.
    sroonaka616 sroonaka616 18-21 1 Response May 14

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    How to sit with someone

    who is suicidal? Understand that their longing for death is really their longing for Home. This is a spiritual crisis, not merely a medical one. They are trying to awaken from a nightmare. By all means, call a doctor, obtain professional medical help, get them to a hospital...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Apr 13, 2014

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    Ever thought of suicide thoughts.

    Well I know I have many times. But I'm too afraid to do anything I'm a weakling. Don't get me wrong I don't want anyone to feel bad or sorry for me I just want to express my feeling through here. Well I always thought would anyone really miss me or would they just miss me for...
    ErenJ ErenJ 18-21, M 3 Responses Dec 27, 2013

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    A Step Too Close A few weeks ago I took a step

    that was too far. My life felt like it was falling apart all around me. My thoughts were haunting and the nightmares even more haunting. I didn't want to live the way I was living anymore. My mind made a choice that I will never forget. I decided it was okay to die and say...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 28, 2014

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    You think you know me.

    .. But you don't know the first thing about me... You think you've been through depression... But you haven't... How long did it last?? Oh two weeks? That's cute!! Depression is ******* hell... You try to sympathize but the problems you face, would be close to the bottom of my...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Mar 10

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    I never actually done anything suicidal like

    though I'm not that into pain but I've heard that some people enjoy pain weird huh... Anyway I'm actually feeling a LOT better these days I may have moments of feeling like I'm through but I kinda want to live my life and see if with time I can change and be bold and come to...
    squiggled squiggled 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 19

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    I have thought about ending it a few times,

    to check out and leave by my own terms. Sometimes it seemed like it was the only way I could control my life, that I could actually be the one who decides how my life should be. Existential questions, the search for an identity, the sometimes conflicting nature of what I wanted...
    Synapse81 Synapse81 31-35, M 1 Response Nov 11, 2014

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    Very Dark Moments...

    December was not a great month. In fact...it hadn't been that great of a year if I was being completely honest.   I sat alone staring out at the snow floating down from above...and realized I had never felt so utterly alone in my entire life. My melancholy had clearly...
    KassieKat KassieKat 46-50, F 8 Responses Feb 7, 2012

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    Every night go to sleep,

    I wish that I would never wake up.
    lamiavarc lamiavarc 16-17, F 8 Responses Aug 17, 2014

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    I want to die... It's Christmas morning.

    .. And I want to die... How ****** up am I? Please just kill me
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    I just want relief. I don't want to be here

    anymore and no one wants me here....
    Justanothergirl2000 Justanothergirl2000 13-15, F 3 Responses May 7

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    I'm so sad and so stressed

    and so lonely. I need something to keep my mind off of wanting to take it out on myself. I would never ever kill my self, I love life too much. I always keep on pushing but sometimes life sucks. I think more and more about relapsing everyday
    sslrd sslrd 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    eatthekids1stplease eatthekids1stplease 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 18, 2014

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