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I Hide Behind A Mask Of Smiles, No One See Beneath The Surface

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 61 People

    My Beginning Of My Mask

    One day a bunch of kids where bulling me by the time i made it home i was covered in marks my parents wanted to know what happened i said i fell with a big smile on my faces that my parents started to laugh soon after it became who i was. Even to this day i still have my...
    Darkness96 Darkness96 13-15, F Mar 7, 2012

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    What They Think

    My family and my friends believe that i am this happy girl that nothing can get me down but its lies,everyday i feel like i am in pain that all i want to do is run and hide. The laughing go lucky girl is slowing running thin. I don't think I can make one more happy smile. My...
    Darkness96 Darkness96 13-15, F Mar 7, 2012

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    I Am In Love With Someone Who Doesn't Love Me Back

    I love someone so much who doesn't love me back and I can hardly live with it
    cincityskyles cincityskyles 41-45 Nov 25, 2010

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    One Of Many

    My smile is one of many masks that I wear everyday. I think it is my most polite way to keep from showing people what I really think. People like it when you smile so I aim to please them.
    jatpack3 jatpack3 36-40, M 5 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    Thing Is Though...

    It's a lot easier when no one around you cares enough to try and dig deeper.Let's face it. No matter how good we may be at faking it if someone really tried. Really wanted to get underneath our skins, they could do it.
    BeteNoire BeteNoire 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2012

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    The Pain Is Too Big For Me To Handle.

    I have been burying it all my life. People hide it for different reasons......I hide it from myself. If I ever let it out the flood gates would open and I think it would over whelm me. I would then be so depressed I would not be able to dig myself out of the pit I was in. The...
    onnmyown onnmyown 51-55, F Nov 27, 2011

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    But I Wish You Could

    I never, ever created my mask of smiles. I never wanted that, as much as it has helped repair some things that were broken, when I was broken and open... not faking my smiles, I never wanted to play this game of happiness pretend. It's all so fake, and I feel like a clown...
    WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 3, 2010

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    I Don't Let Anyone See...

    I don't let anyone see beyond the fake smile, and the stupid laugh. I did a long time ago, I didn't care, but now, I have been hurt too bad, and have been attacked for saying and showing how i truly feel, so I'm done, I no longer share with the world, with my friends, the pain...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 24, 2010

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    My Tears Warm My Heart

    Fake smiles And fake laughter Fake giggles And fake happiness When can i stop trying to fool myself? I am broken deep inside I need forever to heal Sometimes i feel happy But am i really happy? Only tears can warm my weeping heart
    fuglygirlonthebench fuglygirlonthebench 18-21, F Mar 11, 2011

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    No One Knows I Cry Inside

    No one knows that lately, i can't go through a single day without shedding a few tears. In my case, there are several reasons that i might cry, some not so important, but to me, they can totally ruin my day. This has all started ever since i lost contact with my crush. Ever since...
    lily200klt lily200klt 16-17 May 20, 2013

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    My Crush And I Drifted Apart

    So, this is the story of me and my crush! It's weird, but this really all started with my math teacher... yeah. So, btw, my crush's name will be c, and i'll be k. So, now it's may in 2013, but at the beginning of the school year, i don't remember the exact date, maybe around the...
    lily200klt lily200klt 16-17 1 Response May 12, 2013

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    Every Morning I Wake Up And Put On My Mask.

    I'm not sure if anyone really knows who I really am. People comment on how bright my smile is or how I'm always "happy". My boyfriend says I am the happiest person he knows. Behind my smile I hide this darkness I've carried around with me for a very long time. I live in this...
    BlackLilly BlackLilly 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 3, 2011

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    Behind The Mask

    As I think how my life is going, I come across a frays in my head. "behind the mask" that is exactly what I am. my definition of it is a girl who may look like she is doing good in her life but when she is on her own it is the complete opposit. someone who fears rejection and...
    cutiev0900 cutiev0900 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 8, 2013

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    Why I Push Things Away?

    Once there was a little girl, She was always happy and free. Then something she loved broke her, She felt no longer free, It might have tooken her years to push it away, But she has to live with all those memories. She doesn't want anyone's sympathy, She's happy with who she is...
    Karma777 Karma777 16-17, F Apr 17, 2012

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    Smile's With No Sound

    My Smiles are draining all my energy, I feel so week, I bottle EVERYTHING up inside of me. I love seeing people Smile it's the key to make people believe your happy. But he's making me feel so weak! We been dating for two weeks... He makes me think the bottling everything up just...
    Karma777 Karma777 16-17, F Apr 29, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Sometimes, though it may seem like it, I'm not a happy person. I hide my feelings behind fake smiles and laughs, but behind closed doors something else goes on.
    PartyingWithEllie PartyingWithEllie 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 1

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    I went for an interview for the job of my dreams yesterday. I know I am good at my strengths and being interviewed by a 23 something yrs old was interesting! I know this is the age...
    cimema cimema 31-35, F Jul 15

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    Increasingly I am feeling like I was born with a mask on my face... I mean, here I am, this 39 year old lady with a wealth of experience, I speak several languages, am well...
    Hhaawke Hhaawke 36-40, F Jul 21

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    " You're beautiful" a man tells me on a dating site. Afterawhile the words just dissolve together. In the long end, it seems that it doesn't matter what your pictures look like.A...
    wingeyes wingeyes 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have generated an external mask for many years: planning, developing and tweaking it to be worn when I am faced with any social expectation. Both literal and metaphorical - this...
    jasiilovely jasiilovely 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    People love versions of me. My masks. Even close friends, call me when they need me to cheer them up. Who is going to cheer me up. Who is going to accept what I really am. My...
    rockstin87 rockstin87 26-30, M Jul 9

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    I love to see girls with surgĂ­cal masks
    Ronny199 Ronny199 18-21, M Jul 22

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    It all started when I was 11 years old in a hospital room.... I had asthma at the time, and I wasn't suppose to live. The doctor told my mom that I wasn't going to make it ( I...
    kamishiro kamishiro 26-30, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    One time i remember my teacher asked us all at the creative writing club to write 12 poems. So i wrote 12 poems and te teacher read them all.. Then my teacher asked me with a...
    PartyPoison04 PartyPoison04 13-15, F Jul 16

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    My Own Box is basically where I hide my emotions and feelings...in my own box, that is locked to the outside world. Only the special select few have a key to what's inside it...
    myownbox myownbox 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    The other day I had to get completely changed in a group changing room. There were a few other guys there. Being naked in front of people is no big deal to me (I'm a nudist and...
    19andNaked 19andNaked 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    Whenever laws are passed, I always try to imagine the pros and cons of each one. There are some I can understand, however, there is one law that is in the process of being passed...
    PrincessKayleigh PrincessKayleigh 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    So for a few years now I been wearing women's one piece swimsuits under my rash guard and board shorts to help hide some if ex pounds lol my wife does not mind but at the same time...
    Toplp83 Toplp83 26-30 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I am done its horrible, nobody knows the real me the one that puts on a smile so nobody can see that inside I am dying. Once again she has had a brake down and is screaming at me...
    abrokendreamer abrokendreamer 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    These are some of the reasons why I feel the need to die. Abuse. Bullying. Intrusions. Hatred. Scorn. Rejection. Other people focused on my life exclusively and somehow them...
    deepscar deepscar 46-50, F 14 Responses Jul 1

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    I've been depressed for about 8-9 years and I've just kept it my secret. No one really knows, not my friends, family, I haven't even seen a doctor or anyone I just keep it to...
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 11

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    "Never take a day for granted. SMILE, cherish the little things in life, and remember to hug the ones you love." ~Emyden's Creation
    lovingRIZA lovingRIZA 51-55, F Jul 12

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    I know I have a lot of supporters here on EP, and I am thankful for that. If you had not known, I had moved out of Tennessee to live in Kentucky for two months and finally move...
    fatagustus fatagustus 16-17, M 2 Responses Jul 16

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    Yo ah dont git da Problem. love whoever da f*** you want. ah can't resist hot babies smiles, or da big ding dongs o' muh motha fu**** daughter. even muh motha fuc*** dog loves ta...
    wildhotstallion wildhotstallion 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    Marriage is a total trap for men. Like a lot of people, this experience starts with a relationship between 2 people, then life happens. Anyhow there's these 2 people, they...
    carpediemer carpediemer 41-45, M 1 Response Jul 19

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    I have always dealt with depressions. I was about 5 years old the first time and started therapy then. As I was growing up I felt the need to talk to people because I felt that...
    Wholam Wholam 18-21, F Jul 21

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    I don't know why I try to convince everyone I am alright. Why can't I just be honest when someone asks me how I am doing without feeling like I have to hide my feelings. I'm scared...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 21

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    When I look in the mirror I see some sort of beauty, when I step outside my door I see nasty glances and I hear harsh words from family to strangers and it make my confidence go so...
    Fatimatam Fatimatam 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    ever since I could remember I always felt different, growing up my family always said I was "special" or "different". A very unique child that is. Having constant dreams about...
    therealrisscay therealrisscay 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 2

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    I have two different lives, the one I live with my friends and family, and the one I iove on my own, all I want to do is make people happy, but by doing this day by day, it's...
    BethHawkins BethHawkins 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 3

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    What makes a family? I think a family is someone who cared and loves you you know even without the same DNA well my "mother" I love her very much of course but i do not feel like...
    lesliexx3 lesliexx3 18-21, F Jul 4

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    MindvsHeartAJ - It basically describes how I am at this point in life. Everything I do starts a complete war between my mind and my heart and I, AJ, am at the mercy of both. Even...
    MindvsHeartAJ MindvsHeartAJ 18-21, T 1 Response Jul 5

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    two of my best guy friends always hug me from behind, one of them does it cause he knows its adorable. the other one cause he usually does it unannounced, so it scares the absolute...
    eviemay6 eviemay6 18-21, F Jul 7

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    Every day, every second someone looks at me. This intrigues me. I sometimes ask questions in my head like why are you looking so much at me, why do you try to hide your stare, what...
    ClaudiaSUN ClaudiaSUN 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 9

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    Its the best. Coz family bites. Me adopts pals. Not all. Just those who care back. But theres a trap. Giving too much power up. Linking my joy to theirs. So...
    converted converted 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 11

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    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and have had to keep it from my mom and dad. They are extremely conservative and strict Arabs, and will not accept anyone outside...
    rayaanon rayaanon 18-21 Jul 11

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    I don't want people to see me for the terrible person I am.
    Peeshder Peeshder 18-21, M Jul 15

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    I came across this amazing quote earlier, and i felt that i had to share it. As every world says so very much about how i feel when i see my friends hurt and upset and i want...
    lilreddress lilreddress 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 19

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