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I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,658 People

    Nobody knows that I'm always depressed.

    . I smile. I laugh. But I don't mean it at all... /. it hurts...
    Escapinginsanity Escapinginsanity 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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    Ok......this is my life!

    ! I grew up in a family where my father mentally abused my sister and I. My mother physically abused me & at the age of 8 not only did I have to watch my sister being sexually abused, but I too became his victim. I left home at 17 and met my girls dad. He moved me 150 miles away...
    lemolemo lemolemo 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    I Can't Explain It Well Enough

    At first I thought I may suffer from situational depression, but honestly, I don't believe it is life that depresses me. If anything, life should cheer me up. I honestly have a good life. I can't talk to my friends or family about the way I secretly feel...
    Donnasaurus Donnasaurus 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2009

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    For all of you fighting this,

    I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression and bipolar http://bipolar2medstudent.blogspot.com/
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    Why Now

    I shouldn't be writing this I am a happyly married mother of 2 young boys who mean the world to me. I live an idealic life on a farm in a small rural community I haven't harmed myself in 5 years and have no idea why I Ave started again. Last week I ended up with the local fire...
    walker12 walker12 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    Strong Willed

    I hide my depression from everyone and that's why I'm on here. I hat talking about it so I'm not going into detail. My dad used to beat me, my mom, and my siblings. When I was 12 he beat me with a 4x4 and broke both my arms (which I still have problems with them till this day...
    cocaineNgirls cocaineNgirls 18-21, M Aug 18, 2012

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    Decided to place this in here.

    It's complicated. This post has been inspired by someone I consider to be very close to me and is really pulling on my heart strings, and she's not even trying. She's actually battling depression caused by a series of unfortunate events, and confronting her depression like a...
    RequitedWhispers RequitedWhispers 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 27

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    *** note: I do not want pity

    or attention. I simply just want to get this out of my system. Feel free to judge me, I don't care. There's nothing you can say that I haven't told myself before.*** I'm depressed. It started small, actually it started with a boy but that's not the matter. I was ashamed for how...
    justmebta justmebta 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 17

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    I don’t think people love me.

    They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the girl that can’t stop crying? The girl that hurts herself? The girl that is losing control? The...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    For all of you fighting this,

    I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression and bipolar http://bipolar2medstudent.blogspot.com/
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 11

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    Fake Smiles And Laughter

    My boss asks "hi Robert, how was your weekend"I respond "It was fine, got a lot done" Why am I lying, my weekend was ****** just as my life is in general, I always say I'm fine with the most convincing smile but look in my eyes and you can tell that mentally I'm gone. It's funny...
    musicmanrob musicmanrob 16-17, M 2 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    I have no one I can talk to.

    I think I've had depression since I was a child. Its become worse as I've got older and I'm don't know what to do anymore. I've hid it from everyone for so long. I thought I was getting better, I even got a tattoo to cover my cut scars because I thought it was over, that I was...
    M3JustM3 M3JustM3 18-21, F Aug 24

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    Okay so my two best friends are

    both depressed and talk ALOT about it. I feel like sometimes they even kind of compete. For example "guys I'm sorry but I cut today" "same" "like a lot" "same you don't understand" "no I do because I cut more than anybody else" and they don't even know I battle depression (I...
    marissalind marissalind 13-15, F Oct 6

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    I just want to know what it's like to be 100%

    happy. I want to not be self conscious and I want to be happy with my choices and decisions. But it's hard when all I have ever been is criticized I used to be so low. Then I got back up and I was someone who I admired. I was confident. Fearless. And now I feel like I'm lower...
    cutecrazy05 cutecrazy05 22-25 2 Responses Jul 21

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    I've been depressed for about 8-9 years

    and I've just kept it my secret. No one really knows, not my friends, family, I haven't even seen a doctor or anyone I just keep it to myself like I always do. I don't want people to think that I'm seeking attention or something or judge me like most people do. I get most...
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 11

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    the most loneliest nights have started at 16 .

    staying up all night , sad b/c .. well there isnt a reason . im just sad for no reason . i love sleep more than i love life thats a problem , i know . phone filled with contacts that i cant reach . only using the phone just to write how im feeling . and lately I've been...
    yungstel yungstel 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    Nobody Knows The Real Me

    If you were to ask anyone who knows me, they would tell you that I am one of the happiest, most cheerful person ever. I am the exact opposite. I am always wanting to do nothing more than sleep all day everyday. The only thing besides sleep that makes me truly happy is music. I...
    stoggs032 stoggs032 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2012

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    I don't want to stress anyone out.

    I can deal with it myself. I know I can because I have no other choice but sometimes I feel like I can't keep it up anymore.
    Klahleesi Klahleesi 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 2

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    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1 41-45, F 9 Responses May 30

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    Everybody thinks that I'm happy all the time

    but I'm not. Sometimes I'm sad or angry or tired. Nobody knows about these feelings and I feel like I'm gonna explode.
    BloodRedDarkness BloodRedDarkness 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    They Know So Little...

    In their eyes I'm better..in their eyes I overcame it but in truth I'm worse I can do the fake smiles and pretend I'm good but most of the times I'm not and I put them through hell before I cnt talk to no one just thinking about draging any of them down again kills me....I'm on...
    Confusedlo20 Confusedlo20 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    Emotional pain is like physical pain

    but emotional almost never heals
    frankie2114 frankie2114 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 22

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
    marcuscash marcuscash 18-21, T Sep 27

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    Because I keep all my problems

    and pain to myself. I need to talk to someone but I'm too afraid they will judge me. Or I am afraid I will complain too much. I am in one of the most exciting points of my life. I am in love with an amazing man. I am starting a new career in 12 days I get paid to travel, get an...
    Malone670 Malone670 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    My friends don't know what I go through

    everyday. They think im a nice person to be around .Well im to them . It hurts to know that there just as fake as bardie dolls
    wolffire14 wolffire14 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 14

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    It's night time and it's back.

    It sleeps during the day. I watch it and make sure it stays asleep because if it wakes up, it's too heavy to carry. I can keep it asleep with activity. Exercise, music and audiobooks are my best friends. I can't let it stay awake during the day. I have too much to do, but I...
    Deedle623 Deedle623 51-55, F Sep 5

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 6

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    Bloody Depression, Man...

    By this point, I got the hang of it. It's like an annoying guest you can't do anything about than tolerate. Eventually, you tell him to take a hike, you got things you need to do. I'm getting better at recognizing the signs, identifying an unreasonably negative mood, and...
    guiltybyassociation guiltybyassociation 31-35, M 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    For all of you fighting this,

    I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression and bipolar http://bipolar2medstudent.blogspot.com/
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 29

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    I Need To Smile Again

    So I need to remember how to put that happy face again because now people around me are making me feel worse because I`m not happy. I need to fake again. I used to do it so well, no one had a clue what I was going through and no one made me feel guilty for being the way I am...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Who Me?

    noo you've got the wrong person, check the person next to me, must be him. I'm not even convinced that I have "Depression" hey, the doc looked kinda funny the last few times I saw him maybe I was misdiagnosed...yeah that's it. I was misdiagnosed...
    SugarandSpice SugarandSpice 21-25, F 1 Response Aug 17, 2007

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    Happy new year everyone.

    So far I've started this year with a hangover and sudden realization only to bring me here to the black hole of depression,feeling sadder than ever in a room surrounded by family. I want to go home,back to my cave.If I'm gonna be sad I'd like to do it as comfortable as...
    KindaCrazy KindaCrazy 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    thefightingangel thefightingangel 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 9

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    I have been depressed

    since I started high school a year and a half ago. I don't tell anyone because I don't want them to think i want attention or just following the crowd. I started cutting myself but stopped when it wasn't doing anything for me. I tried to tell my best friend but it was too hard...
    averne averne 16-17, F Jan 7

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    I think if you asked anyone

    who knows me, none of them would be able to tell you that I'm depressed. I tend to hide it rather well and am generally a quiet/shy/aloof/introverted/withdrawn person anyway, so it doesn't really show. One of my biggest problems is a lack of people in my personal life to talk...
    LockedDarius LockedDarius 26-30, M Aug 19

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison SO BADLY. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM BEGGING YOU
    marcuscash marcuscash 18-21, T Sep 21

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison. Please help me.
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 6

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    My family likes to spend time together

    but sometimes I'm so depressed I don't wanna be around then. Those days they worry so I have to pretend I'm fine & I'm so happy to be there when in reality I want to curl into a ball & be abducted by shadows. It's getting harder to do & I don't know what I'll do if I can't fix...
    LizTaylor LizTaylor 18-21, F Oct 20

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    I don't want them to think i just want attention

    or that i just complain too much. Plus, nobody would even care, so what's the point in telling them?
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F Jan 19

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    My husband thinks I am overreacting.

    I am starting to feel like crying at everything. I pray and god is my comfort but the feeling always comes back to haunt my day and my night. I tired of being sad I'm tired of being angry. I just want to let it go but I don't know how.
    HushedThoughts HushedThoughts 22-25 2 Responses Aug 15

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    Its bottomless pit, don't know what to do.

    Today I had really scary epiphany of my future, I was alone somewhere I had literally nothing and no one. I had no money. Wish this doesn't become reality in my life. I don't feel good when people are around me, they make feel disgusted and runaway from them. Really the thing...
    rockfordseagull rockfordseagull 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 26

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    I used to do the same thing.

    I used to just speak to GOD about it. It's good though if you just find someone you can tell and trust about why your depression that would be great. People come to me all the time about there problems. To be honest, you can tell you murdered someone or cheated or whatever and...
    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F Jul 26

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    I try to reach out but it feels impossible!

    I remember when I young and dumb (19) I fell in love with this girl and it didn't go my way and I was down... But I was living one of life long dreams. I was in the best shape of my life but on the emotional rebound. Never had a girlfriend before and (long story short) I was...
    ozboybrian ozboybrian 26-30 1 Response Nov 10

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    If I die it won't feel this way anymore I will

    feel better it will take all my pain away I won't be a burden anymore
    nadirah96 nadirah96 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 28

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    And This Too Shall Pass......

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and for quite a while I suffered from what I called "episodes", where I would feel extreme lows...finding it very hard to function some days....it affected all areas of my life, seeing as my occupation is in the pharmaceutical field...I...
    blackgirl71 blackgirl71 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    Pretending

    A lot of people see me as a hyper happy person, but I'm hiding it inside. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I think my life sucks.sometimes I think to myself when we go to sleep we're in our own little world and blocked out from the real one as if we never existed...
    joralex0513 joralex0513 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

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    Depressed why would I be?

    Ha I'd laugh at anyone who would say I look depressed, because I clearly am not depressed. :p
    cutieblue cutieblue 16-17, T 1 Response Jan 3

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    A Friends Help

    I have a friends that i talk to on a regular basis. He has helped alot since we meet. I am jusst rembering some of his words and thought that i would share them with you. He told me once " All woulds will not heal by themselves, it takes time and energy to mend them. You have...
    polorbears polorbears 31-35, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2011

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    My Dad Died and Everyone Thinks I Don't Care.

    Earlier this year one week before my 19th birthday I got a phone call from my mother saying that there had been an "accident" she then drew out the process of telling my dad died.  My roommate and friend for 6 years was there but as soon as I found out I ran into...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 3, 2008

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