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I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,359 People

    My Dad Died and Everyone Thinks I Don't Care.

    Earlier this year one week before my 19th birthday I got a phone call from my mother saying that there had been an "accident" she then drew out the process of telling my dad died.  My roommate and friend for 6 years was there but as soon as I found out I ran into...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 3, 2008

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    At my school, I laugh

    and act like it's all okay, because at those moments it is okay. I can be who I wanna be, an do what I wanna do. But the second I get to my house, I'm the freak. Wearing a wolf tail almost everyday is stupid. Wearing a lot of bracelets is weird. Staying in my room all day makes...
    ThaniXD ThaniXD 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    Thefightingangel Thefightingangel 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    A Friends Help

    I have a friends that i talk to on a regular basis. He has helped alot since we meet. I am jusst rembering some of his words and thought that i would share them with you. He told me once " All woulds will not heal by themselves, it takes time and energy to mend them. You have...
    polorbears polorbears 31-35, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2011

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    the most loneliest nights have started at 16 .

    staying up all night , sad b/c .. well there isnt a reason . im just sad for no reason . i love sleep more than i love life thats a problem , i know . phone filled with contacts that i cant reach . only using the phone just to write how im feeling . and lately I've been...
    yungstel yungstel 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2014

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    Pretending

    A lot of people see me as a hyper happy person, but I'm hiding it inside. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I think my life sucks.sometimes I think to myself when we go to sleep we're in our own little world and blocked out from the real one as if we never existed...
    joralex0513 joralex0513 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

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    Nowadays I do anyway.

    People don't want to know. "Ignorance is bliss."
    usernameinneed usernameinneed 26-30, M Jul 16

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    Asereht Asereht 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 8

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    Any good ,quick and easy painless ways to kill

    your self ? Please help me .. I can't take it .....
    mixedfellings mixedfellings 31-35, F 3 Responses May 21

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Mar 27

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    Another exhausting post.

    Probably because of this small part of the world already asleep and i'm the only one still wide awake at this odd hour. People say that it's completely normal to feel emotionally vulnerable when you're alone and this likely to be worst when the night comes. For this I couldn't...
    jessycarcher jessycarcher 22-25, F May 9

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    There are times when I thought of things in the

    past. It will just happen suddenly. Like my mind on a time travel, recreating the scenario that I hate the most.I have crying spells. I feel so low.But no one knows how I really feel.My exterior will describe a woman who's cool, happy and level-headed.Yet when the episodes come...
    4BlackForest 4BlackForest 36-40, F 8 Responses Jun 19

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    Strong Willed

    I hide my depression from everyone and that's why I'm on here. I hat talking about it so I'm not going into detail. My dad used to beat me, my mom, and my siblings. When I was 12 he beat me with a 4x4 and broke both my arms (which I still have problems with them till this day...
    cocaineNgirls cocaineNgirls 18-21, M Aug 18, 2012

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    I done want to live this life anymore!

    I'm sick of acting happy and strong at work then sitting in my room the rest of the time.
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 30

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    I feel embarrassed if people know cause no one

    really knows me so it seems like I'm just being a brat
    Babybellaaa Babybellaaa 16-17, F Jul 11

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    Everytime I speak to my doctor he asks

    if I've had any suicidal thoughts or feelings, the answer is always no, because I don't. But I feel more ad more like my existence is meaningless, I've accomplished nothing at 23 and I can't see it getting any better, time is flying by and I can't keep up.
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M Jun 19

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    For years I've held a pretty steady cover over

    my depression. Always being nice to everyone I meet, smiling at ppl at my job. Acting like everything is ok, when it's not. I tried to commit suicide the other day, which I've never tried before, after me and my gf of 10 years separated. Now the world looks like shut to me. Can...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 9

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    I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday with a

    new doctor. Fingers crossed he knows what's wrong with me
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 7

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    It's ironic..I'm more open to friends ill make

    online than people in my real life like fam or real life friends.Family wise there's only one fam member i get along with but I don't like worrying her so i don't always tell her when I'm feeling down.And my real life friend i only tell him personal things when i have no choice...
    simpleandpossible simpleandpossible 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 13

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    My friends don't know what I go through

    everyday. They think im a nice person to be around .Well im to them . It hurts to know that there just as fake as bardie dolls
    wolffire14 wolffire14 13-15, F 5 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    Been struggling without my pills the past few

    days, I get more tomorrow but I just feel the need to vent somewhere. Overwhelmed sometimes.
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 16

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    I have my ups and my downs like everybody else.

    I don't have very many ups, I mostly stay in the midrange, but I absolutely loathe when I'm down. I always have a distraction with me or around me, whether it be my phone, a notebook, my friends, or a video game. I need my distractions because as soon as I lose them I start...
    udamansteel udamansteel 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 4, 2014

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    Here's the thing... I'd love to know

    if anyone relates. I'm depressed and lately I've felt the urge to open up about it cause until now nobody knows. Yet, everytime I try to send a subtle sign I run away like a coward: I post quotes related to it, write comments on relatable FB posts and I hope someone sees it. Yet...
    nowherewego nowherewego 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 23

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    Hi, I'm a 21 year old medical student living

    abroad, I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 3 years ago, and before that I struggled a lot. I let it get quite far before my family told me to seek medical help, and finally gave me the courage to take a step forward. I've dealt with severe depression and bipolar for as long as...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 26

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    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1 41-45, F 9 Responses May 30, 2014

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    Everytime people asks me

    if I'm okay, it just reminds me that I'm not.
    BlackRosesAmongLilies BlackRosesAmongLilies 13-15 2 Responses Mar 18

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    does anyone else play the happy role in front

    of other people and family just so they don't see how much ur hurting and suffering?
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 13

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    It's not that I'm hiding it; the people around

    me just refuse to acknowledge it.
    misanthropicpessimist misanthropicpessimist 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    ihatemegirl ihatemegirl 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 17

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    It's amazing what long sleeves

    and a fake smile can hide...
    EyelessGlitch EyelessGlitch 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    Not everyone. My really close friends

    who I trust enough are the ones who I tell
    Lifeisgoodtearsofjoy Lifeisgoodtearsofjoy 16-17, M Jul 12

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    My coworker Zori saw through to me today.

    "How are you Tara?" "I'm pretty good, how are you?" "Are you sure?" "Yeah I'm good today" "I don't believe you. I study psychology. I see it in your eyes; I always see it in your eyes. What's going on with you?" Not even my smile and jokes and laughter can mask my lifeless...
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 13

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    My friends and family wouldn't care.

    They would act like I'm not different even though I lock myself in my room and don't come out unless for food and bathroom. So why bother and tell them and get help that I would need but not get. They just think I'm quiet and reserved which I am, but it's so much more than that...
    0KatieKat0 0KatieKat0 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 8

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    I suffer from depression every now&then.

    It happens like in a cycle. I am good for a week and then everything turns blue for a day or two. No matter how I hard I try there's no escape from it.
    dreamydoc dreamydoc 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 11

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    i have like the best poker face.

    . and im so proud of me for that. but every second i get by myself i break down. i cant do it anymore. nobody knows the things that go on in my head..thats why i downloaded EP. i miss my boyfriend so much. i honestly believe id be better off in heaven anyway. i will finally be...
    ForeverMyAlwaysREH3 ForeverMyAlwaysREH3 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 25

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    I don’t think people love me.

    They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the girl that can’t stop crying? The girl that hurts herself? The girl that is losing control? The...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29, 2014

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    It comes and goes in waves.

    The milder ones have me feeling slightly to moderately blue but still functional. But then that one comes along and I am immobilized. I'm unable to utter a word. I'm able to sigh but that's it as far as communication. My mind sends a message to get up and get something done but...
    wallofnight wallofnight 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 12

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    I've been depressed for about 8-9 years

    and I've just kept it my secret. No one really knows, not my friends, family, I haven't even seen a doctor or anyone I just keep it to myself like I always do. I don't want people to think that I'm seeking attention or something or judge me like most people do. I get most...
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    I've been not myself

    for weeks, and nobody noticed.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jan 11

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    There was this man who looked homeless

    and he tried to buy a hotdog and a water but didn't have enough money. So I bought him 3 hotdogs and 3 waters. He was so happy and it made me happy.
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2014

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    Okay so listen up poptarts.

    There's kinda this thing where I'm sad a whole lot but don't want anyone to worry about me. In fact, I am only writing this because you need to know my feelings and poptart cause we're like buddies now right? .. ye right. I'm also writing this because I am afraid that I might...
    oopsoopspsosjxdsi oopsoopspsosjxdsi 13-15, F May 1

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    I read this somewhere on the Internet

    and just think it's so accurate. "To me, depression is the days that I feel sad for no reason. Depression is the mornings that I don?t feel capable of getting out of bed. Depression is the sleeping too much, or sleeping too little. Depression is the homework that I never...
    js246 js246 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    While not everyone, I do hide from the vast

    majority. I feel like everyone will judge me for it and avoid me as that is what normally happens. I've only met like three people who haven't done that.
    ThePlaguer ThePlaguer 16-17, M 2 Responses Jul 9

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    I've been dealing with depression

    for the past year. The darkness grows and it takes everything within me to keep it at bay. Lately though, it's become harder to hide it. I feel like there's this weight tied to my feet and it's pulling me down even though i can't see it. I feel like life is meaningless, like...
    IntrepidTraveller IntrepidTraveller 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 17

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    Slept all day yesterday.

    . ..I could sleep all day today... Eternal sleep. I don't want to Cary on
    thebeautifulprincess thebeautifulprincess 18-21, F 2 Responses