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I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,617 People

    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1 41-45, F 9 Responses May 30

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    I Can't Explain It Well Enough

    At first I thought I may suffer from situational depression, but honestly, I don't believe it is life that depresses me. If anything, life should cheer me up. I honestly have a good life. I can't talk to my friends or family about the way I secretly feel...
    Donnasaurus Donnasaurus 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2009

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    I have a good life but I can't be happy,

    it seems so simple for everyone else but I always feel like I'm so out of the loop with everyone.
    Jessabelle02 Jessabelle02 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 18

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    It's night time and it's back.

    It sleeps during the day. I watch it and make sure it stays asleep because if it wakes up, it's too heavy to carry. I can keep it asleep with activity. Exercise, music and audiobooks are my best friends. I can't let it stay awake during the day. I have too much to do, but I...
    Deedle623 Deedle623 51-55, F Sep 5

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison SO BADLY. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM BEGGING YOU
    marcuscash marcuscash 18-21, T Sep 21

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 9

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    I Need To Smile Again

    So I need to remember how to put that happy face again because now people around me are making me feel worse because I`m not happy. I need to fake again. I used to do it so well, no one had a clue what I was going through and no one made me feel guilty for being the way I am...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    I just want to know what it's like to be 100%

    happy. I want to not be self conscious and I want to be happy with my choices and decisions. But it's hard when all I have ever been is criticized I used to be so low. Then I got back up and I was someone who I admired. I was confident. Fearless. And now I feel like I'm lower...
    cutecrazy05 cutecrazy05 22-25 2 Responses Jul 21

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    Nobody Knows The Real Me

    If you were to ask anyone who knows me, they would tell you that I am one of the happiest, most cheerful person ever. I am the exact opposite. I am always wanting to do nothing more than sleep all day everyday. The only thing besides sleep that makes me truly happy is music. I...
    stoggs032 stoggs032 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2012

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    Lonely But Never Alone.

    I die a little inside every time I wake up. I wake up and I just cry. And cry. And cry some more. I've missed so many days this trimester. My grades are super important to me, but right now, they suck. I feel like I've failed myself. I look at my life, and just think I'm so...
    Feb 4, 2013

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    Ok......this is my life!

    ! I grew up in a family where my father mentally abused my sister and I. My mother physically abused me & at the age of 8 not only did I have to watch my sister being sexually abused, but I too became his victim. I left home at 17 and met my girls dad. He moved me 150 miles away...
    lemolemo lemolemo 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    *** note: I do not want pity

    or attention. I simply just want to get this out of my system. Feel free to judge me, I don't care. There's nothing you can say that I haven't told myself before.*** I'm depressed. It started small, actually it started with a boy but that's not the matter. I was ashamed for how...
    justmebta justmebta 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    They Know So Little...

    In their eyes I'm better..in their eyes I overcame it but in truth I'm worse I can do the fake smiles and pretend I'm good but most of the times I'm not and I put them through hell before I cnt talk to no one just thinking about draging any of them down again kills me....I'm on...
    Confusedlo20 Confusedlo20 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    I really need someone to tell me once,

    just once how to go about everything, to show me the direction, to just tell me what the answer to this madness is. I feel so lost, so ******* tired, so dumb , so incapable of making it right. I don't even know what I'll say if I plan to go to a psychiatrist. I really have no...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    Its bottomless pit, don't know what to do.

    Today I had really scary epiphany of my future, I was alone somewhere I had literally nothing and no one. I had no money. Wish this doesn't become reality in my life. I don't feel good when people are around me, they make feel disgusted and runaway from them. Really the thing...
    rockfordseagull rockfordseagull 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 26

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    My family likes to spend time together

    but sometimes I'm so depressed I don't wanna be around then. Those days they worry so I have to pretend I'm fine & I'm so happy to be there when in reality I want to curl into a ball & be abducted by shadows. It's getting harder to do & I don't know what I'll do if I can't fix...
    LizTaylor LizTaylor 16-17, F 7 hrs ago

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
    marcuscash marcuscash 18-21, T Sep 27

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    I don’t think people love me.

    They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the girl that can’t stop crying? The girl that hurts herself? The girl that is losing control? The...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    Why Now

    I shouldn't be writing this I am a happyly married mother of 2 young boys who mean the world to me. I live an idealic life on a farm in a small rural community I haven't harmed myself in 5 years and have no idea why I Ave started again. Last week I ended up with the local fire...
    walker12 walker12 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    And This Too Shall Pass......

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and for quite a while I suffered from what I called "episodes", where I would feel extreme lows...finding it very hard to function some days....it affected all areas of my life, seeing as my occupation is in the pharmaceutical field...I...
    blackgirl71 blackgirl71 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    I have been depressed

    since I started high school a year and a half ago. I don't tell anyone because I don't want them to think i want attention or just following the crowd. I started cutting myself but stopped when it wasn't doing anything for me. I tried to tell my best friend but it was too hard...
    averne averne 16-17, F Jan 7

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    Bloody Depression, Man...

    By this point, I got the hang of it. It's like an annoying guest you can't do anything about than tolerate. Eventually, you tell him to take a hike, you got things you need to do. I'm getting better at recognizing the signs, identifying an unreasonably negative mood, and...
    guiltybyassociation guiltybyassociation 31-35, M 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    I used to do the same thing.

    I used to just speak to GOD about it. It's good though if you just find someone you can tell and trust about why your depression that would be great. People come to me all the time about there problems. To be honest, you can tell you murdered someone or cheated or whatever and...
    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F Jul 26

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    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    thefightingangel thefightingangel 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    Okay so my two best friends are

    both depressed and talk ALOT about it. I feel like sometimes they even kind of compete. For example "guys I'm sorry but I cut today" "same" "like a lot" "same you don't understand" "no I do because I cut more than anybody else" and they don't even know I battle depression (I...
    marissalind marissalind 13-15, F Oct 6

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    For all of you fighting this,

    I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression and bipolar http://bipolar2medstudent.blogspot.com/
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 11

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    I'm trying to talk to someone about it,

    but she said if it concerns my safety, she can't keep it just between us. I don't know if I should tell her I cut and have suicidal thoughts if it's not going to stay between us.
    calliejacobs97 calliejacobs97 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 28

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    Because my depression keeps me away from the

    possible opportunities of my life. I give up. I dont wanna fight it anymore. Im so tired. Im just gonna start accepting that. Accept the fact that i am depressed and this is already a part of me. That'll no one will like me unless i hide my depression. I have to smile and joke...
    kmisfit123 kmisfit123 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 6

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 6

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison. Please help me.
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everybody thinks that I'm happy all the time

    but I'm not. Sometimes I'm sad or angry or tired. Nobody knows about these feelings and I feel like I'm gonna explode.
    BloodRedDarkness BloodRedDarkness 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    My husband thinks I am overreacting.

    I am starting to feel like crying at everything. I pray and god is my comfort but the feeling always comes back to haunt my day and my night. I tired of being sad I'm tired of being angry. I just want to let it go but I don't know how.
    HushedThoughts HushedThoughts 22-25 2 Responses Aug 15

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    This is gonna kill me eventually.

    So fed up of my mental health. Where's alcohol when I need it
    lottie1996 lottie1996 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 21

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    Nobody knows that I'm always depressed.

    . I smile. I laugh. But I don't mean it at all... /. it hurts...
    Escapinginsanity Escapinginsanity 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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    Who Me?

    noo you've got the wrong person, check the person next to me, must be him. I'm not even convinced that I have "Depression" hey, the doc looked kinda funny the last few times I saw him maybe I was misdiagnosed...yeah that's it. I was misdiagnosed...
    SugarandSpice SugarandSpice 21-25, F 1 Response Aug 17, 2007

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    My Dad Died and Everyone Thinks I Don't Care.

    Earlier this year one week before my 19th birthday I got a phone call from my mother saying that there had been an "accident" she then drew out the process of telling my dad died.  My roommate and friend for 6 years was there but as soon as I found out I ran into...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 3, 2008

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    I have always dealt with depressions.

    I was about 5 years old the first time and started therapy then. As I was growing up I felt the need to talk to people because I felt that otherwise, I wouldn't be able to go on. I tried talking to my friends about it but I became the one everyone was annoyed with cause I was...
    Wholam Wholam 18-21, F Jul 21

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    Happy new year everyone.

    So far I've started this year with a hangover and sudden realization only to bring me here to the black hole of depression,feeling sadder than ever in a room surrounded by family. I want to go home,back to my cave.If I'm gonna be sad I'd like to do it as comfortable as...
    KindaCrazy KindaCrazy 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    Smile?

    None of my friends know that I am depressed. I just fake a smile, they all say that I am the happiest person they know. When in reality I'm probably the most messed up and despressed person they know.
    loveislouderforever loveislouderforever 16-17 1 Response May 27, 2012

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    I think if you asked anyone

    who knows me, none of them would be able to tell you that I'm depressed. I tend to hide it rather well and am generally a quiet/shy/aloof/introverted/withdrawn person anyway, so it doesn't really show. One of my biggest problems is a lack of people in my personal life to talk...
    LockedDarius LockedDarius 26-30, M Aug 19

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    Strong Willed

    I hide my depression from everyone and that's why I'm on here. I hat talking about it so I'm not going into detail. My dad used to beat me, my mom, and my siblings. When I was 12 he beat me with a 4x4 and broke both my arms (which I still have problems with them till this day...
    cocaineNgirls cocaineNgirls 18-21, M Aug 18, 2012

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    Fake Smiles And Laughter

    My boss asks "hi Robert, how was your weekend"I respond "It was fine, got a lot done" Why am I lying, my weekend was ****** just as my life is in general, I always say I'm fine with the most convincing smile but look in my eyes and you can tell that mentally I'm gone. It's funny...
    musicmanrob musicmanrob 16-17, M 2 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    For all of you fighting this,

    I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression and bipolar http://bipolar2medstudent.blogspot.com/
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    I have no one I can talk to.

    I think I've had depression since I was a child. Its become worse as I've got older and I'm don't know what to do anymore. I've hid it from everyone for so long. I thought I was getting better, I even got a tattoo to cover my cut scars because I thought it was over, that I was...
    M3JustM3 M3JustM3 18-21, F Aug 24

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    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    If I die it won't feel this way anymore I will

    feel better it will take all my pain away I won't be a burden anymore
    nadirah96 nadirah96 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 28

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    I've been depressed for about 8-9 years

    and I've just kept it my secret. No one really knows, not my friends, family, I haven't even seen a doctor or anyone I just keep it to myself like I always do. I don't want people to think that I'm seeking attention or something or judge me like most people do. I get most...
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 11

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    Pretending

    A lot of people see me as a hyper happy person, but I'm hiding it inside. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I think my life sucks.sometimes I think to myself when we go to sleep we're in our own little world and blocked out from the real one as if we never existed...
    joralex0513 joralex0513 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

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    I don't want them to think i just want attention

    or that i just complain too much. Plus, nobody would even care, so what's the point in telling them?
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F Jan 19

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    Depressed why would I be?

    Ha I'd laugh at anyone who would say I look depressed, because I clearly am not depressed. :p
    cutieblue cutieblue 16-17, T 1 Response Jan 3

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    A Friends Help

    I have a friends that i talk to on a regular basis. He has helped alot since we meet. I am jusst rembering some of his words and thought that i would share them with you. He told me once " All woulds will not heal by themselves, it takes time and energy to mend them. You have...
    polorbears polorbears 31-35, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2011

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    For all of you fighting this,

    I'm one of you, I write a blog, on how I fight my everyday life.. How I cope with being a full time student and at the same time fighting depression and bipolar http://bipolar2medstudent.blogspot.com/
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F Sep 29

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    And its killing me...

    She's causing me depression...
    ForsakenEarL ForsakenEarL 26-30, M 1 Response Jul 19

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