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I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,459 People

    the most loneliest nights have started at 16 .

    staying up all night , sad b/c .. well there isnt a reason . im just sad for no reason . i love sleep more than i love life thats a problem , i know . phone filled with contacts that i cant reach . only using the phone just to write how im feeling . and lately I've been...
    yungstel yungstel 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison. Please help me.
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 6

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    I used to do the same thing.

    I used to just speak to GOD about it. It's good though if you just find someone you can tell and trust about why your depression that would be great. People come to me all the time about there problems. To be honest, you can tell you murdered someone or cheated or whatever and...
    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 9

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    not sure how legit the depression tests

    that you can take online are but I've taken 4 and in each one I came back with was around 20-30. i thought I might have some depression but I wasn't entirely sure. I just thought "I'm probably overreacting and my hormones are getting the best of me" or whatever I thought but...
    lexifaith435 lexifaith435 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 19

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    My depression gets worst

    and worst everyday. I hide it with a fake smile that I've been having for years. People make me feel worst by having real smiles and having actual friends while I'm in the corner alone while it feels like it's eating my insides. Sometimes I just want to shout out on rooftops...
    baconOtaku baconOtaku 13-15, F Apr 15

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    ^^Random logo for my chemical romance Kay not

    from everyone. I tell people online so does that count?.... Probably not. But anyway. I was free of it for a while but I have currently relapsed. Urrr I'm hiding it now because that's what I did the first time, until I told somebody, and I felt so bad about talking about it.
    PanicAtTheDiscount PanicAtTheDiscount 13-15, F Apr 15

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    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1 41-45, F 7 Responses May 30

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    I have been depressed

    since I started high school a year and a half ago. I don't tell anyone because I don't want them to think i want attention or just following the crowd. I started cutting myself but stopped when it wasn't doing anything for me. I tried to tell my best friend but it was too hard...
    averne averne 16-17, F Jan 7

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    They Know So Little...

    In their eyes I'm better..in their eyes I overcame it but in truth I'm worse I can do the fake smiles and pretend I'm good but most of the times I'm not and I put them through hell before I cnt talk to no one just thinking about draging any of them down again kills me....I'm on...
    Confusedlo20 Confusedlo20 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    Depressed why would I be?

    Ha I'd laugh at anyone who would say I look depressed, because I clearly am not depressed. :p
    cutieblue cutieblue 16-17, T 1 Response Jan 3

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    Do you guys sometimes feel lonely?

    Like one second you're happy then next you're not. Then after feeling down it's really hard to regain that happiness again. I just keep looking in the internet for answers but I just couldnt find anything very useful.
    MeMiv MeMiv 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 6

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    Smile?

    None of my friends know that I am depressed. I just fake a smile, they all say that I am the happiest person they know. When in reality I'm probably the most messed up and despressed person they know.
    loveislouderforever loveislouderforever 16-17 1 Response May 27, 2012

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    I give my all to everyone

    who is in my life but when my bakk is against the wall every body is no where to be found. I feel like ending my life..
    lwright78 lwright78 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    I've been depressed for about 8-9 years

    and I've just kept it my secret. No one really knows, not my friends, family, I haven't even seen a doctor or anyone I just keep it to myself like I always do. I don't want people to think that I'm seeking attention or something or judge me like most people do. I get most...
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 11

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    I have a good life but I can't be happy,

    it seems so simple for everyone else but I always feel like I'm so out of the loop with everyone.
    Jessabelle02 Jessabelle02 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 18

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    Its bottomless pit, don't know what to do.

    Today I had really scary epiphany of my future, I was alone somewhere I had literally nothing and no one. I had no money. Wish this doesn't become reality in my life. I don't feel good when people are around me, they make feel disgusted and runaway from them. Really the thing...
    rockfordseagull rockfordseagull 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 26

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    A Friends Help

    I have a friends that i talk to on a regular basis. He has helped alot since we meet. I am jusst rembering some of his words and thought that i would share them with you. He told me once " All woulds will not heal by themselves, it takes time and energy to mend them. You have...
    polorbears polorbears 31-35, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2011

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    I've reached out to my parents,

    but all in all it was mostly just embarrassing. They already know I'm depressed, they just don't care. Or maybe they're embarrassed that their daughter isn't so perfect after all. I've never told anyone else. No friends, no other family. Its just me in this. Anyone I talk to in...
    mysteryhatcat mysteryhatcat 16-17, F 1 Response May 11

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    I Need To Smile Again

    So I need to remember how to put that happy face again because now people around me are making me feel worse because I`m not happy. I need to fake again. I used to do it so well, no one had a clue what I was going through and no one made me feel guilty for being the way I am...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    I don't want them to think i just want attention

    or that i just complain too much. Plus, nobody would even care, so what's the point in telling them?
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F Jan 19

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    I just want to know what it's like to be 100%

    happy. I want to not be self conscious and I want to be happy with my choices and decisions. But it's hard when all I have ever been is criticized I used to be so low. Then I got back up and I was someone who I admired. I was confident. Fearless. And now I feel like I'm lower...
    cutecrazy05 cutecrazy05 22-25 2 Responses Jul 21

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    I think if you asked anyone

    who knows me, none of them would be able to tell you that I'm depressed. I tend to hide it rather well and am generally a quiet/shy/aloof/introverted/withdrawn person anyway, so it doesn't really show. One of my biggest problems is a lack of people in my personal life to talk...
    LockedDarius LockedDarius 26-30, M 1 day ago

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    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    thefightingangel thefightingangel 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    And its killing me...

    She's causing me depression...
    ForsakenEarL ForsakenEarL 26-30, M 1 Response Jul 19

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    I walk around with a smile on my face

    and treat everyone with respect and kindness. Once I'm alone it turns straight to depression and I think about suicide and ending my life to make everyone else's life easier. I don't know why I feel this I wish it would stop I hate crying some nights before I go to bed. I won't...
    musicnote13 musicnote13 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 15

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    Why Now

    I shouldn't be writing this I am a happyly married mother of 2 young boys who mean the world to me. I live an idealic life on a farm in a small rural community I haven't harmed myself in 5 years and have no idea why I Ave started again. Last week I ended up with the local fire...
    walker12 walker12 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 6

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    And This Too Shall Pass......

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and for quite a while I suffered from what I called "episodes", where I would feel extreme lows...finding it very hard to function some days....it affected all areas of my life, seeing as my occupation is in the pharmaceutical field...I...
    blackgirl71 blackgirl71 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F Jul 4

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    Lately I can't stand my children

    or husband. Is this normal? I am so overwhelmed with house work, work and taking care of everyone I feel invisible yet they won't leave me alone....
    motherbear3 motherbear3 31-35, F 1 Response May 11

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    I have two different lives,

    the one I live with my friends and family, and the one I iove on my own, all I want to do is make people happy, but by doing this day by day, it's making me more and more ill..
    BethHawkins BethHawkins 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 3

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    Strong Willed

    I hide my depression from everyone and that's why I'm on here. I hat talking about it so I'm not going into detail. My dad used to beat me, my mom, and my siblings. When I was 12 he beat me with a 4x4 and broke both my arms (which I still have problems with them till this day...
    cocaineNgirls cocaineNgirls 18-21, M Aug 18, 2012

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    Who Me?

    noo you've got the wrong person, check the person next to me, must be him. I'm not even convinced that I have "Depression" hey, the doc looked kinda funny the last few times I saw him maybe I was misdiagnosed...yeah that's it. I was misdiagnosed...
    SugarandSpice SugarandSpice 21-25, F 1 Response Aug 17, 2007

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    I'm the friend that's always there

    for everyone, the one that always has a smile and the one that's always laughing. Little do my friends know is that I've thought about committing suicide. Yeah I know, "everybody's going to miss me", but it doesn't feel that way. Tonight, I asked my parents a simple question if...
    idontbelonghere1 idontbelonghere1 16-17, F Jun 18

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    Fake Smiles And Laughter

    My boss asks "hi Robert, how was your weekend"I respond "It was fine, got a lot done" Why am I lying, my weekend was ****** just as my life is in general, I always say I'm fine with the most convincing smile but look in my eyes and you can tell that mentally I'm gone. It's funny...
    musicmanrob musicmanrob 16-17, M 2 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    This is gonna kill me eventually.

    So fed up of my mental health. Where's alcohol when I need it
    lottie1996 lottie1996 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 21

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    Lonely But Never Alone.

    I die a little inside every time I wake up. I wake up and I just cry. And cry. And cry some more. I've missed so many days this trimester. My grades are super important to me, but right now, they suck. I feel like I've failed myself. I look at my life, and just think I'm so...
    Feb 4, 2013

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    Everybody thinks that I'm happy all the time

    but I'm not. Sometimes I'm sad or angry or tired. Nobody knows about these feelings and I feel like I'm gonna explode.
    BloodRedDarkness BloodRedDarkness 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    I have always dealt with depressions.

    I was about 5 years old the first time and started therapy then. As I was growing up I felt the need to talk to people because I felt that otherwise, I wouldn't be able to go on. I tried talking to my friends about it but I became the one everyone was annoyed with cause I was...
    Wholam Wholam 18-21, F Jul 21

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    Despite trying to be happy around everyone,

    it's sad just how much people don't care to see if you're okay. No matter how many times you say you aren't okay, and how many times you throw it out there that you feel so down that you don't know what to do, no one cares. As long as they are happy everything is perfect. It...
    AmberFranks AmberFranks 18-21, F May 29

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    My husband thinks I am overreacting.

    I am starting to feel like crying at everything. I pray and god is my comfort but the feeling always comes back to haunt my day and my night. I tired of being sad I'm tired of being angry. I just want to let it go but I don't know how.
    HushedThoughts HushedThoughts 22-25 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    My Dad Died and Everyone Thinks I Don't Care.

    Earlier this year one week before my 19th birthday I got a phone call from my mother saying that there had been an "accident" she then drew out the process of telling my dad died.  My roommate and friend for 6 years was there but as soon as I found out I ran into...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 3, 2008

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    Bloody Depression, Man...

    By this point, I got the hang of it. It's like an annoying guest you can't do anything about than tolerate. Eventually, you tell him to take a hike, you got things you need to do. I'm getting better at recognizing the signs, identifying an unreasonably negative mood, and...
    guiltybyassociation guiltybyassociation 31-35, M 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    Happy new year everyone.

    So far I've started this year with a hangover and sudden realization only to bring me here to the black hole of depression,feeling sadder than ever in a room surrounded by family. I want to go home,back to my cave.If I'm gonna be sad I'd like to do it as comfortable as...
    KindaCrazy KindaCrazy 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    I Can't Explain It Well Enough

    At first I thought I may suffer from situational depression, but honestly, I don't believe it is life that depresses me. If anything, life should cheer me up. I honestly have a good life. I can't talk to my friends or family about the way I secretly feel...
    Donnasaurus Donnasaurus 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2009

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    I literally hate myself.

    And my in the "ouh I'm a teenager and my life suuuuucks and I'm so self conscious!" I literally hate everything about myself and myself and I can't stop. It feels like I'm some girl that I knew in high school and I alway hated that ***** but its me... (Incoherent thoughts...
    Jessabelle02 Jessabelle02 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    Pretending

    A lot of people see me as a hyper happy person, but I'm hiding it inside. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I think my life sucks.sometimes I think to myself when we go to sleep we're in our own little world and blocked out from the real one as if we never existed...
    joralex0513 joralex0513 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

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    From the outside looking in,

    someone else might say I have a great life. Great family, great friends, I'm lucky to have a job and a nice place to live and family who helps me. All of that is true. But no one knows the truth. No one knows what goes on in my head. No one knows how unhappy I am, how lonely I...
    Dreamer32 Dreamer32 26-30, F 2 Responses May 11

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    Nobody knows that I'm always depressed.

    . I smile. I laugh. But I don't mean it at all... /. it hurts...
    Escapinginsanity Escapinginsanity 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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