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I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,126 People

    what's the point of me being here anymore.

    I can't do anything right. I really just want to kms??????
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M Dec 6, 2014

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    I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday with a

    new doctor. Fingers crossed he knows what's wrong with me
    thatmegan thatmegan 16-17, F 1 Response May 7

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    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    Nobody knows where I truly am.

    I am loving, and fun, and positive but depressed. I am hiding it from everyone because nobody knows that is me. It's really hard trying to pretend like something isn't going on.
    wise025 wise025 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Everytime people asks me

    if I'm okay, it just reminds me that I'm not.
    BlackRosesAmongLilies BlackRosesAmongLilies 13-15 2 Responses Mar 18

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    People think that I'm happy

    and that I'm okay but I'm not. I'm sad so much it's scary. I can't be happy no matter how hard I try. nobody understands and it's so hard.
    elizabethcalvin elizabethcalvin 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 30, 2014

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    Depressed why would I be?

    Ha I'd laugh at anyone who would say I look depressed, because I clearly am not depressed. :p
    cutieblue cutieblue 16-17, T 1 Response Jan 3, 2014

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 6

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    Hi, I'm a 21 year old medical student living

    abroad, I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 3 years ago, and before that I struggled a lot. I let it get quite far before my family told me to seek medical help, and finally gave me the courage to take a step forward. I've dealt with severe depression and bipolar for as long as...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 26

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    It's ironic..I'm more open to friends ill make

    online than people in my real life like fam or real life friends.Family wise there's only one fam member i get along with but I don't like worrying her so i don't always tell her when I'm feeling down.And my real life friend i only tell him personal things when i have no choice...
    simpleandpossible simpleandpossible 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 13

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    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    Thefightingangel Thefightingangel 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    Bloody Depression, Man...

    By this point, I got the hang of it. It's like an annoying guest you can't do anything about than tolerate. Eventually, you tell him to take a hike, you got things you need to do. I'm getting better at recognizing the signs, identifying an unreasonably negative mood, and...
    guiltybyassociation guiltybyassociation 31-35, M 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    the most loneliest nights have started at 16 .

    staying up all night , sad b/c .. well there isnt a reason . im just sad for no reason . i love sleep more than i love life thats a problem , i know . phone filled with contacts that i cant reach . only using the phone just to write how im feeling . and lately I've been...
    yungstel yungstel 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2014

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 27

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    What if it never gets better?

    What happens if I'm always just going to be sad?
    someonelikeyou9 someonelikeyou9 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    It's amazing what long sleeves

    and a fake smile can hide...
    EyelessGlitch EyelessGlitch 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    And This Too Shall Pass......

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and for quite a while I suffered from what I called "episodes", where I would feel extreme lows...finding it very hard to function some days....it affected all areas of my life, seeing as my occupation is in the pharmaceutical field...I...
    blackgirl71 blackgirl71 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    I don't want them to think i just want attention

    or that i just complain too much. Plus, nobody would even care, so what's the point in telling them?
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F Jan 19, 2014

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    Today I went to therapy like I do every

    Wednesday and I had to tell her about the suicide attempts I've made since last week. My best friend doesn't even know and I feel like I might try again soon..
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    Everything has gotten worse.

    My life has completely changed. For the past three months I have not slept well at all. It takes me hours to get to sleep and even when I try I hear voices in my head screaming my name. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I have now got increasing anxiety as I have about five...
    thatmegan thatmegan 16-17, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    Nobody knows that I'm always depressed.

    . I smile. I laugh. But I don't mean it at all... /. it hurts...
    Escapinginsanity Escapinginsanity 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 19, 2014

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    Okay so listen up poptarts.

    There's kinda this thing where I'm sad a whole lot but don't want anyone to worry about me. In fact, I am only writing this because you need to know my feelings and poptart cause we're like buddies now right? .. ye right. I'm also writing this because I am afraid that I might...
    oopsoopspsosjxdsi oopsoopspsosjxdsi 13-15, F May 1

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    I hide my depression very well I'll pretend to

    laugh and have a good time when really I just want to die I just hate everything
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 14

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    I've been not myself

    for weeks, and nobody noticed.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jan 11

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    Another exhausting post.

    Probably because of this small part of the world already asleep and i'm the only one still wide awake at this odd hour. People say that it's completely normal to feel emotionally vulnerable when you're alone and this likely to be worst when the night comes. For this I couldn't...
    jessycarcher jessycarcher 22-25, F May 9

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    I've been depressed for about 8-9 years

    and I've just kept it my secret. No one really knows, not my friends, family, I haven't even seen a doctor or anyone I just keep it to myself like I always do. I don't want people to think that I'm seeking attention or something or judge me like most people do. I get most...
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    It feels like I'm walking upstream through a

    current strong enough to pull me under four times over. There are others with me but they are walking along the banks telling me to "just get out of the water". But instead of extending a hand in help they just move on and leave me behind. Every once in a while I find a rock...
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    My Dad Died and Everyone Thinks I Don't Care.

    Earlier this year one week before my 19th birthday I got a phone call from my mother saying that there had been an "accident" she then drew out the process of telling my dad died.  My roommate and friend for 6 years was there but as soon as I found out I ran into...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 3, 2008

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    Everyone who knows me thinks I am always happy

    and full of joy and spirit and I am most of the time but behind that it's a completely different person. I'm upset and want to just cry my life away. I want to attempt but I know I never will but I can't imagine my future either. I don't want to.
    Thecupcakebaker Thecupcakebaker 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 8

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    Pretending

    A lot of people see me as a hyper happy person, but I'm hiding it inside. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I think my life sucks.sometimes I think to myself when we go to sleep we're in our own little world and blocked out from the real one as if we never existed...
    joralex0513 joralex0513 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

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    Slept all day yesterday.

    . ..I could sleep all day today... Eternal sleep. I don't want to Cary on
    thebeautifulprincess thebeautifulprincess 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 27

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    Nobody from my school knows I'm depressed.

    Mainly my "friends" I just hide it so I don't have to explain anything.
    Butterflyyana Butterflyyana 16-17, F Mar 19

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    Everybody thinks that I'm happy all the time

    but I'm not. Sometimes I'm sad or angry or tired. Nobody knows about these feelings and I feel like I'm gonna explode.
    BloodRedDarkness BloodRedDarkness 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 18, 2014

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    It comes and goes in waves.

    The milder ones have me feeling slightly to moderately blue but still functional. But then that one comes along and I am immobilized. I'm unable to utter a word. I'm able to sigh but that's it as far as communication. My mind sends a message to get up and get something done but...
    wallofnight wallofnight 61-65 2 Responses Apr 12

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    A Friends Help

    I have a friends that i talk to on a regular basis. He has helped alot since we meet. I am jusst rembering some of his words and thought that i would share them with you. He told me once " All woulds will not heal by themselves, it takes time and energy to mend them. You have...
    polorbears polorbears 31-35, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2011

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    Depression is hitting me hard tonight.

    ****, I feel like crying.
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 28, 2014

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    latley it has been harder

    and harder to keep it locked up. I dont know what to do anymore. I havent been this depressed in a long time.
    ngardner621 ngardner621 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1 41-45, F 9 Responses May 30, 2014

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    There was this man who looked homeless

    and he tried to buy a hotdog and a water but didn't have enough money. So I bought him 3 hotdogs and 3 waters. He was so happy and it made me happy.
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2014

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    Any good ,quick and easy painless ways to kill

    your self ? Please help me .. I can't take it .....
    mixedfellings mixedfellings 31-35, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I don't know why do I hide it

    whenever I am really depressed and even feel like crying. But I do. I really don't wanna let others know I am depressed. Just like, today, my friend asked my why I was so quiet, I answered "I'm sleepy." Actually, I felt like sh!t, so freaking depressed, so I dun wanna talk much...
    Acrylic19 Acrylic19 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 27

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    does anyone else play the happy role in front

    of other people and family just so they don't see how much ur hurting and suffering?
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 13

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    My friends don't know what I go through

    everyday. They think im a nice person to be around .Well im to them . It hurts to know that there just as fake as bardie dolls
    wolffire14 wolffire14 13-15, F 5 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    Nothing makes me especially happy anymore.

    I feel alone when I am not. My silence and introversion brings out the anxiety in people. I need help. I feel so small even when I'm not.
    Dreamerrrrrrr Dreamerrrrrrr 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 14

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    Okay so my two best friends are

    both depressed and talk ALOT about it. I feel like sometimes they even kind of compete. For example "guys I'm sorry but I cut today" "same" "like a lot" "same you don't understand" "no I do because I cut more than anybody else" and they don't even know I battle depression (I...
    marissalind marissalind 13-15, F Oct 6, 2014

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    I have my ups and my downs like everybody else.

    I don't have very many ups, I mostly stay in the midrange, but I absolutely loathe when I'm down. I always have a distraction with me or around me, whether it be my phone, a notebook, my friends, or a video game. I need my distractions because as soon as I lose them I start...
    udamansteel udamansteel 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 4, 2014

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