Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,914 People

    tbh im highly suicidal .

    .. idk why... everyone In my life loves me but i hate myself... if i could kill myself without feeling guilty i would... i have depression pills but my grandma hates prozac so i dont take it
    Goldguide1 Goldguide1 16-17, M 3 Responses Jan 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i have like the best poker face.

    . and im so proud of me for that. but every second i get by myself i break down. i cant do it anymore. nobody knows the things that go on in my head..thats why i downloaded EP. i miss my boyfriend so much. i honestly believe id be better off in heaven anyway. i will finally be...
    ForeverMyAlwaysREH3 ForeverMyAlwaysREH3 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My 2 friends have no clue.

    It started my first year of highscool and its gotten worse because of the bulling the anti-socialness the lack of friends ect.ugh i want to drop out...
    pinkitten18 pinkitten18 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    why dont my mom understand me.

    it hurts when she says that i dont care for her
    blossomingangel blossomingangel 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    everyone thinks I'm better,

    everyone thinks I don't want to kill myself anymore. no one knows that I choose to hide it. They don't see the difference in my forced laugh or smile. They don't know the reason why I don't tell them is that they made me worse. I kept being told that I'm too young that I don't...
    gaminggirl97 gaminggirl97 18-21, F Nov 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've only told one person about my depression,

    and that's my best friend. She's taking me to the school counselers office to talk about it on Monday because I don't want to talk about it by myself. I started being depressed a few years ago when my grandmother died and when some bad stuff happened to me. I think it was cause...
    justfoodingeneral justfoodingeneral 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 20, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been not myself

    for weeks, and nobody noticed.
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jan 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Rapidly going downhill,

    I don't know what's happened, just feel so alone, empty.
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 6, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Does anyone else suffer from hyperhidrosis

    or excessive sweating? This is such a depressive condition to suffer from.
    pbarn pbarn 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    None of my friends or family can tell

    that I've been battling with depression for quite a while now. They always describe me as the bubbly little girl, the sanguine type, the confident one. I guess I have learned how hide the struggle in the best way possible. I've practiced well enough that I've perfected the craft...
    iAmSab iAmSab 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 26, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    XxRazorbladeRomancexX XxRazorbladeRomancexX 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To family, friends and co workers I have this

    easy going, joke telling mask that I wear. Usually I'm in a good place and happy. But occasionally I suddenly realize that the cloud has descended upon me. Ironically, I think I am most creative when i am in such a place. I guess tonight is one of those nights. I was...
    texaspilot texaspilot 46-50, M 13 Responses Nov 30, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel
    PickleJuice017 PickleJuice017 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 24, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I just can't control these sad

    thoughts that resurface that lay within me. I just hole one day this depression that's plaguing my life, just takes a hike and never returns!!
    HAMSOLO HAMSOLO 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I do my very best to hide my depression from

    everyone who knows me, its not always easy, but I do my best, i feel like people who truly know me, know the secret behind the "Im fine" that I pull all the time, but those who don't know me so well, have no clue that i suffer from depression, and that is how I like to keep it...
    HisLittleAriel HisLittleAriel 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 8, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    it just came out of nowhere seems like.

    The whole month of March 2015 was the worse its ever been. I didnt want to get out of bed, I didnt want to go to work, and I didnt want to go to school. Going to work was so overwhelming and there was days I had to leave because I made up some stupid lie. I felt like I was...
    xCourtneybx xCourtneybx 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I suffer from depression every now&then.

    It happens like in a cycle. I am good for a week and then everything turns blue for a day or two. No matter how I hard I try there's no escape from it.
    dreamydoc dreamydoc 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think I'm okay, that everything will be good

    today. And maybe it is at first, and then it isn't. I don't know how I got here. I just want things to be good again.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 26, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feeling more drained by the day,

    don't feel like I'm getting better any time soon. Man I don't know what to do.
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M Nov 10, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1 41-45, F 9 Responses May 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's amazing what long sleeves

    and a fake smile can hide...
    RosesAndRazors RosesAndRazors 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 7, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ive been hideing my depression

    for years from every one but not no more as I cant hide it as iam been so depressed over the last 2 weeks people have seen it I tried cutting myself keep thinking of killing myself and yesterday. I smashed up my bedroom and broken the window my foster parents. Tried...
    Joanne181 Joanne181 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 12, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My coworker Zori saw through to me today.

    "How are you Tara?" "I'm pretty good, how are you?" "Are you sure?" "Yeah I'm good today" "I don't believe you. I study psychology. I see it in your eyes; I always see it in your eyes. What's going on with you?" Not even my smile and jokes and laughter can mask my lifeless...
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 13, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Not hiding too well today!

    !! Have you ever had depression so bad it makes you physically sick? I feel like a ton of pressure is weighing me down. I really just need to get through this day! :(
    BeingT BeingT 36-40, F 4 Responses Oct 8, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    From bad to worse, just completely lost,

    don't know what to do anymore. I feel like no one gets me.. I'm a crazy mess spiralling out of control and nothing can help, so why do I exist?
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 25, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everytime I speak to my doctor he asks

    if I've had any suicidal thoughts or feelings, the answer is always no, because I don't. But I feel more ad more like my existence is meaningless, I've accomplished nothing at 23 and I can't see it getting any better, time is flying by and I can't keep up.
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 19, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    Thefightingangel Thefightingangel 22-25, M 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everything that's been going on,

    and even before, I feel so lost. I've thought about cutting. I've had suicidal thoughts. I just can't bring myself to admitting it aloud.
    CandidxApple CandidxApple 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 14, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I try to anyway. it's hard to keep it all

    bottled in. I give and I give and I give. I try so hard then I run out of gas and no one seems to put the effort in. I know I'm difficult sometimes, when I get this way its hard to talk to people. And I feel like no one really listens to me anyway. everyone says talk to me, I...
    TheWanderingWarrior TheWanderingWarrior 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I thought people on this site could help me,

    but I think I was wrong. I probably have to help myself, easier said than done, but I can't rely on strangers, guess I just wanted to not feel alone.
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 11, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Shouldn't feel like this,

    especially at this time of year, but it's safe to say this is going to be the worst Christmas of my life. *sigh*
    DHggmu DHggmu 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 24, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I suffer from hyperhidrosis

    and want to arrange a uk meetup for fellow sufferers. who would be interested?
    pbarn pbarn 31-35, M Jan 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I get sick of pretending to be happy

    in front of everyone, and instead of holding a half-assed smile in front of everyone I just wanna snap and break down on the floor.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 8, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Depression is like drowning.

    Except you can see everyone else around you breathing.
    lobosluv lobosluv 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 4, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm tired about crying about the same damn

    thing. I can be loved and deserve the best love. Everything that I'm going thru will make me better and stronger. Nobody should have the advantage of making me feel this way. I'm beautiful and precious because God made you and if someone who loves me can't tell me that. I just...
    PickleJuice017 PickleJuice017 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 24, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I could be just balling my eyes out alone.

    and someone comes around and I'm as bubbly as can me .. everyone thinks I'm so happy go Lucky and ..I act like it but the scars on my body tells a different story
    Ladyxc Ladyxc 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 26, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everytime people asks me

    if I'm okay, it just reminds me that I'm not.
    BlackRosesAmongLilies BlackRosesAmongLilies 13-15 2 Responses Mar 18, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There was this man who looked homeless

    and he tried to buy a hotdog and a water but didn't have enough money. So I bought him 3 hotdogs and 3 waters. He was so happy and it made me happy.
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's ironic..I'm more open to friends ill make

    online than people in my real life like fam or real life friends.Family wise there's only one fam member i get along with but I don't like worrying her so i don't always tell her when I'm feeling down.And my real life friend i only tell him personal things when i have no choice...
    simpleandpossible simpleandpossible 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 13, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been dealing with depression

    for the past year. The darkness grows and it takes everything within me to keep it at bay. Lately though, it's become harder to hide it. I feel like there's this weight tied to my feet and it's pulling me down even though i can't see it. I feel like life is meaningless, like...
    IntrepidTraveller IntrepidTraveller 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 17, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There are times when I thought of things in the

    past. It will just happen suddenly. Like my mind on a time travel, recreating the scenario that I hate the most.I have crying spells. I feel so low.But no one knows how I really feel.My exterior will describe a woman who's cool, happy and level-headed.Yet when the episodes come...
    4BlackForest 4BlackForest 36-40, F 8 Responses Jun 19, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    does anyone else play the happy role in front

    of other people and family just so they don't see how much ur hurting and suffering?
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Apr 13, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's really hard for me to open up with someone

    about my depression, specially because I don't have anything I could confide in, since my parents gave me away it's been like that. House after house, relative after relative, I can't really trust or get along with them because soon they give me away too, I'm so tired of hearing...
    gloomykidd gloomykidd 13-15, M 4 Responses Jan 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    At my school, I laugh

    and act like it's all okay, because at those moments it is okay. I can be who I wanna be, an do what I wanna do. But the second I get to my house, I'm the freak. Wearing a wolf tail almost everyday is stupid. Wearing a lot of bracelets is weird. Staying in my room all day makes...
    ThaniXD ThaniXD 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 16, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel