I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,962 People

    On here, I'm allowed to vent.

    I'm allowed to tell you all that, deep down, my soul is riddled with darkness and sadness deeper than anyone in my life could possibly imagine. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about that lately. Over this past summer, two of my aunts committed suicide, two days...
    BeyondRepairDeadInside BeyondRepairDeadInside
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jan 22

    does anyone else have social work on there

    backs 24/7 it's really annoying. well I've just started this group so not sure if ur allowed to talk about ur problems lol
    Lisakerr1981 Lisakerr1981
    31-35, F
    Feb 17

    Does anyone else suffer from hyperhidrosis

    or excessive sweating? This is such a depressive condition to suffer from.
    pbarn pbarn
    31-35, M
    1 Response Jan 15

    I don’t think people love me.

    They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the girl that can’t stop crying? The girl that hurts herself? The girl that is losing control? The...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 29, 2014

    Ive been hideing my depression

    for years from every one but not no more as I cant hide it as iam been so depressed over the last 2 weeks people have seen it I tried cutting myself keep thinking of killing myself and yesterday. I smashed up my bedroom and broken the window my foster parents. Tried...
    Joanne181 Joanne181
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 12, 2015

    I do it all the time,

    I just hide it because people don't get what I'm going through and I don't want to get hurt more, it builds up emotional pain that I can't talk to people, I have tried to but people just let me down, I cry night and day, before I go to sleep
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Mar 5

    Been feeling down again recently,

    keep getting pain and sickness like when I was first diagnosed.. I've had enough of hospitals and doctors for a lifetime but if this keeps up I'm gonna have to go back soon.
    DHggmu DHggmu
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Mar 17

    I've been not myself

    for weeks, and nobody noticed.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jan 11, 2015

    I do occasionally spill the beans,

    I need to vent, else I feel I'd no longer be here. I am venting now a little here. I've had pasts, and they have drained me financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I have been deceived, taken advantage of, taken for granted, and made felt guilty when I asked for my...
    roobs42 roobs42
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Mar 5

    Depression is like drowning.

    Except you can see everyone else around you breathing.
    lobosluv lobosluv
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Nov 4, 2015

    It's amazing what long sleeves

    and a fake smile can hide...
    RosesAndRazors RosesAndRazors
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jan 7, 2015

    There are times when I thought of things in the

    past. It will just happen suddenly. Like my mind on a time travel, recreating the scenario that I hate the most.I have crying spells. I feel so low.But no one knows how I really feel.My exterior will describe a woman who's cool, happy and level-headed.Yet when the episodes come...
    4BlackForest 4BlackForest
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Jun 19, 2015

    everyone thinks I'm better,

    everyone thinks I don't want to kill myself anymore. no one knows that I choose to hide it. They don't see the difference in my forced laugh or smile. They don't know the reason why I don't tell them is that they made me worse. I kept being told that I'm too young that I don't...
    gaminggirl97 gaminggirl97
    18-21, F
    Nov 11, 2015

    At my school, I laugh

    and act like it's all okay, because at those moments it is okay. I can be who I wanna be, an do what I wanna do. But the second I get to my house, I'm the freak. Wearing a wolf tail almost everyday is stupid. Wearing a lot of bracelets is weird. Staying in my room all day makes...
    ThaniXD ThaniXD
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Jun 16, 2015

    I think I'm okay, that everything will be good

    today. And maybe it is at first, and then it isn't. I don't know how I got here. I just want things to be good again.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 26, 2015

    Anybody that has ever experienced a streak of

    sadness, doesn't necessarily need to be at a level of "depression", has learned that there are few people that can handle it. It's not that they don't care (usually....I hope), it's just that they have their own life drama and can't always deal with someone else's too. We learn...
    kk1874 kk1874
    31-35, F
    Apr 21

    I hide what i have to say despite being

    depressed and angry because i'm afraid of what those around me might do to me or towards me so i made a secret facebook with only people i can trust around me and who can help me added
    ColorPrince ColorPrince
    18-21, T
    1 Response Dec 25, 2015

    I don't think I'm depressed

    but sometimes i feel Iv lost the fun in things I used To love doing.....dancing for one of them But I haven't given up. Those days where you get up and for no reason ***** just dead and pointless .....
    GreatThingsToCome GreatThingsToCome
    18-21, M
    1 Response Mar 3

    I could be just balling my eyes out alone.

    and someone comes around and I'm as bubbly as can me .. everyone thinks I'm so happy go Lucky and ..I act like it but the scars on my body tells a different story
    Ladyxc Ladyxc
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Dec 26, 2015

    I suffer from hyperhidrosis

    and want to arrange a uk meetup for fellow sufferers. who would be interested?
    pbarn pbarn
    31-35, M
    Jan 22

    why dont my mom understand me.

    it hurts when she says that i dont care for her
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 3

    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 4, 2014

    Not sure if I have depression.

    it just seems like I've never been happy.
    Trying2beBetter Trying2beBetter
    31-35, M
    1 Response Mar 4

    I don't know when I wake up I feel great

    but as the day drags on I get depressed and I don't know why damn life sucks sometimes can somebody tell me why
    jsadhappyface jsadhappyface
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Mar 3

    I've been dealing with depression

    for the past year. The darkness grows and it takes everything within me to keep it at bay. Lately though, it's become harder to hide it. I feel like there's this weight tied to my feet and it's pulling me down even though i can't see it. I feel like life is meaningless, like...
    IntrepidTraveller IntrepidTraveller
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jul 17, 2015

    i have like the best poker face.

    . and im so proud of me for that. but every second i get by myself i break down. i cant do it anymore. nobody knows the things that go on in my head..thats why i downloaded EP. i miss my boyfriend so much. i honestly believe id be better off in heaven anyway. i will finally be...
    ForeverMyAlwaysREH3 ForeverMyAlwaysREH3
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jun 25, 2015

    People don't seem to understand

    that depression is more than temporary. It is more than feeling sad. Sometimes it's debilitating. Sometimes it gets in the way of living. Even when I try to describe how I feel, it's always been written off as me being "emo" or more thoughtlessly, "are you PMSing?" They don...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 3

    I've always been a sensitive person,

    even as a child. My family would laugh and call me crybaby. I think this is why I started to hide all my emotions. Don't cry, don't show them that it bothers you, I'd say to myself. But that protection has slowly become a prison I've crafted for myself. Now it feels like I'm...
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 5

    I don't like making my loved ones feel

    powerless. Because they can't do anything about it.Only my best friend knows about it. She has the same scars as me and I love discovering the diferences between our stories.
    aloudrepeat aloudrepeat
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 4

    I am totally socially drained I just want to

    hide from the world for ever
    VinVenture VinVenture
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 6, 2015

    I am sitting here under this tree in the above

    photo. I was driving back roads and just needed a moment for me. This tree whom I shall forever call Augustus, seemed to beckon me to park and rest my brain for a moment, even tho I am late for my next appointment. My life has been exciting. I have had many experiences...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    12 Responses Feb 16

    In a stage of feeling lonely all the time

    and getting myself down about it, luckily tomorrow I have some rare social plans. Until then, I feel miserable.
    DHggmu DHggmu
    22-25, M
    1 Response Mar 3

    To family, friends and co workers I have this

    easy going, joke telling mask that I wear. Usually I'm in a good place and happy. But occasionally I suddenly realize that the cloud has descended upon me. Ironically, I think I am most creative when i am in such a place. I guess tonight is one of those nights. I was...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    7 Responses Nov 30, 2015

    My mom thinks that just

    because I'm on anti depressants that my depression completely goes away. That I never have bad days or anything. Well, that's not true. I still have rough days and struggle emotionally. Parents just don't get it
    jess965 jess965
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Mar 3

    I come here, even just to vent about my thoughts

    and feelings. I've met a select few amazing people here, and I only hope I can find another place like it once it's gone.
    DHggmu DHggmu
    22-25, M
    1 Response Mar 24

    Rapidly going downhill,

    I don't know what's happened, just feel so alone, empty.
    DHggmu DHggmu
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Nov 6, 2015

    I think I'm ready to be without ep.

    I've only used it to talk to one person recently anyway, it'll be sad to know its gone, but it helped me through a difficult time, and I'll remember that.
    DHggmu DHggmu
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 9

    im findin it harder to hide my depression from

    people at school the teachers have noticed a change and my bf is always concerned bout me and he keeps thinkin its about him and i cant tell anyone cause i just got out of counciling im not goin back
    hater2610 hater2610
    13-15, F
    1 Response Feb 16

    I just read some posts in this group

    and these are some of the most encouraging people I've seen here. in the posts I read there were no real negative responses. I would hug you all if I could :)
    joker364 joker364
    26-30, M
    1 Response Apr 10

    Everything that's been going on,

    and even before, I feel so lost. I've thought about cutting. I've had suicidal thoughts. I just can't bring myself to admitting it aloud.
    CandidxApple CandidxApple
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 14, 2015

    There was this man who looked homeless

    and he tried to buy a hotdog and a water but didn't have enough money. So I bought him 3 hotdogs and 3 waters. He was so happy and it made me happy.
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta
    18-21, M
    1 Response Dec 4, 2014

    Everytime I speak to my doctor he asks

    if I've had any suicidal thoughts or feelings, the answer is always no, because I don't. But I feel more ad more like my existence is meaningless, I've accomplished nothing at 23 and I can't see it getting any better, time is flying by and I can't keep up.
    DHggmu DHggmu
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jun 19, 2015

    I suffer from depression every now&then.

    It happens like in a cycle. I am good for a week and then everything turns blue for a day or two. No matter how I hard I try there's no escape from it.
    dreamydoc dreamydoc
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jun 11, 2015

    It's really hard for me to open up with someone

    about my depression, specially because I don't have anything I could confide in, since my parents gave me away it's been like that. House after house, relative after relative, I can't really trust or get along with them because soon they give me away too, I'm so tired of hearing...
    Shadowykidd Shadowykidd
    13-15, M
    4 Responses Jan 13

    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1
    41-45, F
    8 Responses May 30, 2014

    Everytime people asks me

    if I'm okay, it just reminds me that I'm not.
    BlackRosesAmongLilies BlackRosesAmongLilies
    13-15
    2 Responses Mar 18, 2015

    tbh im highly suicidal .

    .. idk why... everyone In my life loves me but i hate myself... if i could kill myself without feeling guilty i would... i have depression pills but my grandma hates prozac so i dont take it
    Goldguide1 Goldguide1
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jan 7

    I just had a 5 day streak of good days.

    That is progress. I just need to keep trying.
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    2 Responses Mar 10

    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    Thefightingangel Thefightingangel
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

    My coworker Zori saw through to me today.

    "How are you Tara?" "I'm pretty good, how are you?" "Are you sure?" "Yeah I'm good today" "I don't believe you. I study psychology. I see it in your eyes; I always see it in your eyes. What's going on with you?" Not even my smile and jokes and laughter can mask my lifeless...
    tarara0414 tarara0414
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 13, 2015

    it just came out of nowhere seems like.

    The whole month of March 2015 was the worse its ever been. I didnt want to get out of bed, I didnt want to go to work, and I didnt want to go to school. Going to work was so overwhelming and there was days I had to leave because I made up some stupid lie. I felt like I was...
    xCourtneybx xCourtneybx
    22-25, F
    Jan 7

    Everything is fine as

    so it seems like it. Im that typical person you see on the streets who's decent looking( not even sure) who simply living a okay life or however you like to put it. Realizing in the past , I really never had the words to explain my ordeal or situation, but its simply called...
    Krchan2 Krchan2
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 21

    does anyone else play the happy role in front

    of other people and family just so they don't see how much ur hurting and suffering?
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Apr 13, 2015
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