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I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,758 People

    Why Now

    I shouldn't be writing this I am a happyly married mother of 2 young boys who mean the world to me. I live an idealic life on a farm in a small rural community I haven't harmed myself in 5 years and have no idea why I Ave started again. Last week I ended up with the local fire...
    walker12 walker12 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    Nobody knows where I truly am.

    I am loving, and fun, and positive but depressed. I am hiding it from everyone because nobody knows that is me. It's really hard trying to pretend like something isn't going on.
    wise025 wise025 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    what's the point of me being here anymore.

    I can't do anything right. I really just want to kms??????
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M Dec 6

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    A Friends Help

    I have a friends that i talk to on a regular basis. He has helped alot since we meet. I am jusst rembering some of his words and thought that i would share them with you. He told me once " All woulds will not heal by themselves, it takes time and energy to mend them. You have...
    polorbears polorbears 31-35, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2011

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    The first person I reached out to about my

    depression shoved a bunch of anti-depressants into my hand. After that, I can't trust anyone to treat me the same. I can't expect them to understand that I'm not broken.
    Donchueven Donchueven 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    Because I keep all my problems

    and pain to myself. I need to talk to someone but I'm too afraid they will judge me. Or I am afraid I will complain too much. I am in one of the most exciting points of my life. I am in love with an amazing man. I am starting a new career in 12 days I get paid to travel, get an...
    Malone670 Malone670 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19

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    Pretending

    A lot of people see me as a hyper happy person, but I'm hiding it inside. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I think my life sucks.sometimes I think to myself when we go to sleep we're in our own little world and blocked out from the real one as if we never existed...
    joralex0513 joralex0513 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

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    I don’t think people love me.

    They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love. Who’s going to love the girl that can’t stop crying? The girl that hurts herself? The girl that is losing control? The...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    Nobody Knows The Real Me

    If you were to ask anyone who knows me, they would tell you that I am one of the happiest, most cheerful person ever. I am the exact opposite. I am always wanting to do nothing more than sleep all day everyday. The only thing besides sleep that makes me truly happy is music. I...
    stoggs032 stoggs032 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 23, 2012

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    I Can't Explain It Well Enough

    At first I thought I may suffer from situational depression, but honestly, I don't believe it is life that depresses me. If anything, life should cheer me up. I honestly have a good life. I can't talk to my friends or family about the way I secretly feel...
    Donnasaurus Donnasaurus 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2009

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    I don't want to stress anyone out.

    I can deal with it myself. I know I can because I have no other choice but sometimes I feel like I can't keep it up anymore.
    Klahleesi Klahleesi 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 2

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    paradox123 paradox123 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 30

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    It's night time and it's back.

    It sleeps during the day. I watch it and make sure it stays asleep because if it wakes up, it's too heavy to carry. I can keep it asleep with activity. Exercise, music and audiobooks are my best friends. I can't let it stay awake during the day. I have too much to do, but I...
    Deedle623 Deedle623 51-55, F Sep 5

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    And This Too Shall Pass......

    I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and for quite a while I suffered from what I called "episodes", where I would feel extreme lows...finding it very hard to function some days....it affected all areas of my life, seeing as my occupation is in the pharmaceutical field...I...
    blackgirl71 blackgirl71 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    My friends don't know what I go through

    everyday. They think im a nice person to be around .Well im to them . It hurts to know that there just as fake as bardie dolls
    wolffire14 wolffire14 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 14

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    Today I went to therapy like I do every

    Wednesday and I had to tell her about the suicide attempts I've made since last week. My best friend doesn't even know and I feel like I might try again soon..
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 3

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison SO BADLY. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM BEGGING YOU
    marcuscash marcuscash 18-21, T Sep 21

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    I have no one I can talk to.

    I think I've had depression since I was a child. Its become worse as I've got older and I'm don't know what to do anymore. I've hid it from everyone for so long. I thought I was getting better, I even got a tattoo to cover my cut scars because I thought it was over, that I was...
    M3JustM3 M3JustM3 18-21, F Aug 24

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    Smile?

    None of my friends know that I am depressed. I just fake a smile, they all say that I am the happiest person they know. When in reality I'm probably the most messed up and despressed person they know.
    loveislouderforever loveislouderforever 16-17 1 Response May 27, 2012

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    I'm trying to talk to someone about it,

    but she said if it concerns my safety, she can't keep it just between us. I don't know if I should tell her I cut and have suicidal thoughts if it's not going to stay between us.
    calliejacobs97 calliejacobs97 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 28

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    Its a dark hole that I sometimes fall into,

    nobody knows the turmoil going on in my head. I can manage it mostly, but sometimes my mask slips, and the cracks show. Most people would never guess as they think I am a strong, put together person. I keep busy, so I don`t have to think. I listen to music, so I don`t hear the...
    tamarisk1 tamarisk1 41-45, F 9 Responses May 30

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    If I die it won't feel this way anymore I will

    feel better it will take all my pain away I won't be a burden anymore
    nadirah96 nadirah96 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 28

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    Emotional pain is like physical pain

    but emotional almost never heals
    frankie2114 frankie2114 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 22

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    There was this man who looked homeless

    and he tried to buy a hotdog and a water but didn't have enough money. So I bought him 3 hotdogs and 3 waters. He was so happy and it made me happy.
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 3 Responses Dec 4

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    I've been depressed for about 8-9 years

    and I've just kept it my secret. No one really knows, not my friends, family, I haven't even seen a doctor or anyone I just keep it to myself like I always do. I don't want people to think that I'm seeking attention or something or judge me like most people do. I get most...
    nathanieljlaw nathanieljlaw 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 11

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    I try to reach out but it feels impossible!

    I remember when I young and dumb (19) I fell in love with this girl and it didn't go my way and I was down... But I was living one of life long dreams. I was in the best shape of my life but on the emotional rebound. Never had a girlfriend before and (long story short) I was...
    ozboybrian ozboybrian 26-30 1 Response Nov 10

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    Everybody thinks that I'm happy all the time

    but I'm not. Sometimes I'm sad or angry or tired. Nobody knows about these feelings and I feel like I'm gonna explode.
    BloodRedDarkness BloodRedDarkness 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 18

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    It feels like I'm walking upstream through a

    current strong enough to pull me under four times over. There are others with me but they are walking along the banks telling me to "just get out of the water". But instead of extending a hand in help they just move on and leave me behind. Every once in a while I find a rock...
    nnawsnahta nnawsnahta 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 4

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    Everything has gotten worse.

    My life has completely changed. For the past three months I have not slept well at all. It takes me hours to get to sleep and even when I try I hear voices in my head screaming my name. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I have now got increasing anxiety as I have about five...
    thatmegan thatmegan 16-17, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Strong Willed

    I hide my depression from everyone and that's why I'm on here. I hat talking about it so I'm not going into detail. My dad used to beat me, my mom, and my siblings. When I was 12 he beat me with a 4x4 and broke both my arms (which I still have problems with them till this day...
    cocaineNgirls cocaineNgirls 18-21, M Aug 18, 2012

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    Okay so my two best friends are

    both depressed and talk ALOT about it. I feel like sometimes they even kind of compete. For example "guys I'm sorry but I cut today" "same" "like a lot" "same you don't understand" "no I do because I cut more than anybody else" and they don't even know I battle depression (I...
    marissalind marissalind 13-15, F Oct 6

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    *** note: I do not want pity

    or attention. I simply just want to get this out of my system. Feel free to judge me, I don't care. There's nothing you can say that I haven't told myself before.*** I'm depressed. It started small, actually it started with a boy but that's not the matter. I was ashamed for how...
    justmebta justmebta 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 17

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    latley it has been harder

    and harder to keep it locked up. I dont know what to do anymore. I havent been this depressed in a long time.
    ngardner621 ngardner621 22-25, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I really need someone to tell me once,

    just once how to go about everything, to show me the direction, to just tell me what the answer to this madness is. I feel so lost, so ******* tired, so dumb , so incapable of making it right. I don't even know what I'll say if I plan to go to a psychiatrist. I really have no...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    Because my depression keeps me away from the

    possible opportunities of my life. I give up. I dont wanna fight it anymore. Im so tired. Im just gonna start accepting that. Accept the fact that i am depressed and this is already a part of me. That'll no one will like me unless i hide my depression. I have to smile and joke...
    kmisfit123 kmisfit123 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 6

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    It's easy to hide the feelings.

    It's the scars that are hard to hide.
    tarara0414 tarara0414 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 4

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    I have my ups and my downs like everybody else.

    I don't have very many ups, I mostly stay in the midrange, but I absolutely loathe when I'm down. I always have a distraction with me or around me, whether it be my phone, a notebook, my friends, or a video game. I need my distractions because as soon as I lose them I start...
    udamansteel udamansteel 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 4

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    My family likes to spend time together

    but sometimes I'm so depressed I don't wanna be around then. Those days they worry so I have to pretend I'm fine & I'm so happy to be there when in reality I want to curl into a ball & be abducted by shadows. It's getting harder to do & I don't know what I'll do if I can't fix...
    LizTaylor LizTaylor 18-21, F Oct 20

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
    marcuscash marcuscash 18-21, T Sep 27

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    Fake Smiles And Laughter

    My boss asks "hi Robert, how was your weekend"I respond "It was fine, got a lot done" Why am I lying, my weekend was ****** just as my life is in general, I always say I'm fine with the most convincing smile but look in my eyes and you can tell that mentally I'm gone. It's funny...
    musicmanrob musicmanrob 16-17, M 2 Responses Nov 22, 2013

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    Bloody Depression, Man...

    By this point, I got the hang of it. It's like an annoying guest you can't do anything about than tolerate. Eventually, you tell him to take a hike, you got things you need to do. I'm getting better at recognizing the signs, identifying an unreasonably negative mood, and...
    guiltybyassociation guiltybyassociation 31-35, M 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    I think if you asked anyone

    who knows me, none of them would be able to tell you that I'm depressed. I tend to hide it rather well and am generally a quiet/shy/aloof/introverted/withdrawn person anyway, so it doesn't really show. One of my biggest problems is a lack of people in my personal life to talk...
    LockedDarius LockedDarius 26-30, M Aug 19

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    I don't want them to think i just want attention

    or that i just complain too much. Plus, nobody would even care, so what's the point in telling them?
    ItsPriscila ItsPriscila 13-15, F Jan 19

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    I have been depressed

    since I started high school a year and a half ago. I don't tell anyone because I don't want them to think i want attention or just following the crowd. I started cutting myself but stopped when it wasn't doing anything for me. I tried to tell my best friend but it was too hard...
    averne averne 16-17, F Jan 7

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    My Dad Died and Everyone Thinks I Don't Care.

    Earlier this year one week before my 19th birthday I got a phone call from my mother saying that there had been an "accident" she then drew out the process of telling my dad died.  My roommate and friend for 6 years was there but as soon as I found out I ran into...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 3, 2008

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    I Have To Hide It

    i have been dealing with depression since 10th grade. It comes and goes but this past year my depression has been very strong,but even still im able to hide it from everyone.people do know that i have some emotional issues but they dont know how bad they really are. I have talked...
    thefightingangel thefightingangel 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 25, 2012

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    Depressed why would I be?

    Ha I'd laugh at anyone who would say I look depressed, because I clearly am not depressed. :p
    cutieblue cutieblue 16-17, T 1 Response Jan 3

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    Nobody knows that I'm always depressed.

    . I smile. I laugh. But I don't mean it at all... /. it hurts...
    Escapinginsanity Escapinginsanity 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 19

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    People think that I'm happy

    and that I'm okay but I'm not. I'm sad so much it's scary. I can't be happy no matter how hard I try. nobody understands and it's so hard.
    elizabethcalvin elizabethcalvin 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 30

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    Who Me?

    noo you've got the wrong person, check the person next to me, must be him. I'm not even convinced that I have "Depression" hey, the doc looked kinda funny the last few times I saw him maybe I was misdiagnosed...yeah that's it. I was misdiagnosed...
    SugarandSpice SugarandSpice 21-25, F 1 Response Aug 17, 2007

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    Decided to place this in here.

    It's complicated. This post has been inspired by someone I consider to be very close to me and is really pulling on my heart strings, and she's not even trying. She's actually battling depression caused by a series of unfortunate events, and confronting her depression like a...
    RequitedWhispers RequitedWhispers 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 27

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