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I Hide My Pain By Smiling

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,267 People

    I feel so heartbroken

    and scared and depressed . It's been 6 months and ever since I tested for HIV (it was negative) but that has me so paranoid now. I'm constantly worried and living as if something is wrong. My bf broke up with me and my mom has breast cancer, I'm tired from working and then I...
    fearfultofearless fearfultofearless 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2014

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    Because sometimes its easier to ignore to

    forget to pretend that your not in pain and sadly People dont really want to be bothered by what your going thru.
    minimeme minimeme 22-25, F 2 Responses May 3

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    I thought I didn't need this app

    for support so I made my "last post" a few weeks ago! Man I was wrong! Where do I start! The sadness is always here, I'm always paranoid, I won't let myself trust anyone! I finally got a girlfriend and I'm struggling with getting the motivation to even try to make a relationship...
    sm1ttay sm1ttay 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 12

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    A smile can only hold

    so much I've been through hell and back more than probably anyone
    photographyismylife photographyismylife 13-15, F May 23

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    If You Really Knew My Past

    I wear a mask, a mask that covers the truth about my past and people. A smile that laughs at every joke aimed at me to show I don't care, A smile that smiles at everyone to show I don't care Any more. I fight back tears and try to keep that glint in my eye, I don't want people...
    NeverLetThemWin NeverLetThemWin 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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    Smile And The World Smiles With You

    "Smile and the world smiles with you ,cry and you cry alone" .I very much believe this so I smile alot".A smile is a thousand words ".I hide my pain behind that smile as I dont want sympathy .A simple smile not only makes someone elses day If I get a smile back or even a good...
    beastman111 beastman111 46-50, M Jun 26, 2011

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    I'm the type of girl

    who always smiles even when I'm hurting... And the one that could brighten up your day even if I can't brighten up my own.
    kittysaurus kittysaurus 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 3, 2014

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    I love helping people

    but I feel like I bother others when I want or need help so I just hide it and have breakdowns at least once a week alone
    justsmiles justsmiles 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 10, 2014

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    fea00karlaa fea00karlaa 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 22, 2014

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    3mro16 3mro16 18-21, M Aug 15, 2014

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    The Other Day.

    The other day I was very suicidal. But my friend came over despite my complaints that I was "sick". She convinced me to take a walk with her, so I did. While we were walking and making conversation she missunderstood something I said with "I just want to die" She looked at me...
    hippiegirlxox hippiegirlxox 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    Smiles can be so fake sometimes.

    Is not hard to tell if your hiding pain or not. When u look deep into someone's eye u can see their pain. And the best way to help is always a hug,a cup of coffee, and u
    shiningstar32 shiningstar32 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2014

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    lovechristina lovechristina 16-17, F Jun 19, 2014

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    It's so funny though.

    Probably NO ONE knows I'm so anxious and depressed. Sure, you sometimes nag to your friends about a few things that bother you, but they never take you seriously. They'll never know what's really going on in your head . They really don't know how much self-hatred I deal with and...
    Realitea Realitea 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 9, 2014

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    I'm not perfect and all

    but I do know this we all can make it through tuff times u just have to believe in yourself keep your head high and never look down unless u need to but that's not the point the point is u need to know that it's what's in the inside not the outside so try not to think about what...
    lildragon123 lildragon123 13-15, F Jun 15

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    :D Smile D:

    "Say cheese" No one sees you past that. Just look happy, just look pretty. No one really cares. You can be dieing for all they care. And that whats happening. I am dieing slowly but surly. I dont care that they dont care but I would like someone to see behind my smile. I could...
    Geinger Geinger 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 26, 2011

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    Everyone thinks that im

    such a happy person...that I have it all together They say I look innocent and sweet. Strong But I'm not smh My smile is my mask and I put it on everyday of my life to hide all the hurt;all the pain I feel inside
    Tiffany199221 Tiffany199221 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2014

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    The Masks We Wear

           When the kids make fun of you, learn to laugh with them. That's what I was told over and over again.  I retreated into myself more and more, leaving all the hurt behind a wavering smile with tears wanting to escape from my eyes.  All though school it never stopped...
    JinnieH JinnieH 61-65, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2011

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    I never let people know i'm sad.

    I cover it by being a goof and a smart@ss. I feel as if i annoy people by being silly and weird, but i'm only that way because i'm lonely. But i know that if i tell people that i'm sad, or act sad, i'll just annoy people even more. People don't like problems like that. I'll...
    thedifferent thedifferent 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 10, 2014

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    A Glass Rose

    A shattered vase in the midst of rose petals. What do I do? I’m screaming in a room filled with people but no one even flinches to look at me. Can you hear my battle cry? Can you hear the beginning of the fight; the drums drumming, the war cry of my people, the passion fueled...
    PeelingPaint PeelingPaint 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 17, 2013

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    I was always told to smile with my teeth

    and I just hate my smile regardless because this is what it looks like when I do.
    kelsey0616 kelsey0616 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2014

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    I honestly can't stand

    when people pity me or feel bad for me so whenever something bad happens in my life I don't tell anyone and I just smile and keep going. Only my closest friends actually know what's going on.
    horsecrazy3 horsecrazy3 13-15, F Apr 6, 2014

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    It seems so much better

    for everyone. They don't worry because I seem normal :)
    CaptainBenza CaptainBenza 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 10, 2014

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    That's the thing about pain.

    .. It demands to be felt
    CriminalMinds14 CriminalMinds14 18-21, F Jun 16, 2014

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    roleplayinglover roleplayinglover 16-17, F Apr 19, 2014

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    It's easy to smile just to make other people

    feel better. But when a person fakes happy, it has edges. Regular people may not see, but the people who count, they can see the edges and the lines where your smile ends and the real you starts..;.
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 20

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    I Hate This Effing Disease

    Just had a wonderful night w a wonderful person. I had to leave early cause my stomachs hurt so bad. I got home and automatically took my nausea medication but the pain and nausea was to intense. I scrambled around downstairs and brought myself 4 bottles of water preparing myself...
    amandaleighhh13 amandaleighhh13 22-25, F Aug 27, 2013

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    It's A Defense Mechanism

     Whenever i feel pain and start feeling like crying, i tend to smile and laugh a bit while tears starts to fall down on my cheeks. That's why i'm calling it a defense mechanism. Each and everyone of us has our own way of hiding our true feelings. And i must say that each...
    torns08 torns08 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 3, 2010

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    MJIzReal MJIzReal 18-21, M Dec 31, 2014

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    Sometimes........

    .....It hurts so bad to smile when on the inside I am breaking and shattering like a china dish. I wish there was some one in my life who really understood how I feel. People will tell you they do understand but sometimes I wonder if they actually do. Especially when in the same...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 3, 2013

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    Harper101 Harper101 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    Always Done It, Its Just Me I Guess

    well sure i have always smiled to hide the pain away, its like a reflex. every time something bad happens, BAMa smile. But another thing is i want to help my friends, i don't want to think about my life, my problems, my fears.when i help others i stop thinking about my life which...
    UmbraEyes UmbraEyes 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 3, 2011

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    Pain Can change you Can break you Can kill

    you Can shame you Something we don't ask for But comes before every success And never fully leaves
    Freeyourself3 Freeyourself3 18-21, F Jun 24, 2014

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    You see that girl who smiles

    so bright No one knows it fades late at night Cries filling her immortal soul;tourcheress shadows taking control She grabs the blade to ease her pain Flesh burning blood running down her legs Screaming from within,head spinning,heart racing..it's happening again Darkness...
    Tiffany199221 Tiffany199221 22-25, F Jun 22

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    My Fake Smile

    I  smile  infront of my relatives and my family just to pretend everything is ok which is not reality. My soul is dead inside. But  I didn't finish my ***** body because I need this body  to pretend everything is all right......sigh.........
    richa12345678 richa12345678 22-25, F 12 Responses May 8, 2011

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    I hide all my pain by smiling physically not

    everyone can see all the pain that is behind my eyes.... All they see is a person smiling back at them.... Nobody knows how i feel... All the pain i stifle down within me its unbearable to comprehend by others.... People don't understand how much they can hurt people by what...
    CoolRockerChic CoolRockerChic 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 19

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    I really want to die

    so bad! But just don't know how to do it
    BrokenArrow25 BrokenArrow25 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2014

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    I am a simple girl with a thousand feelings

    who hides behind a fake smile
    crystallyne crystallyne 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    I Want To Be Honest To Myself And Others

    For some odd reason i always hide my pain by smiling, fisicall or emotional . Its like im afraid of something but don't know what mabey its the fact that im actully weak so i act strong. if im sad upset or sick i still smile like no tomorow . I have always semm like the stong...
    twiligth2013 twiligth2013 16-17, F 4 Responses May 12, 2012

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our

    school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my mind I was thinking "you know what, I'm gonna try to talk to her, I need to man up, I need to know how to talk to a girl and here's my first...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 6, 2014

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    I have a very high pain tolerance

    but when I start to really feel pain is never I don't show pain unless it's like a head ack or something pain doe go away really fast I do have. A rep in 8th grade I am the heavy weight I don't back to people pain is gone in about 2 min but it the se place is hi multiple times...
    Erentitan Erentitan 16-17, M Oct 12, 2014

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    lovechristina lovechristina 16-17, F Jun 20, 2014

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    I Just Can't Handel It All

    For some odd reason i always hide my pain by smiling, fisicall or emotional . Its like im afraid of something but don't know what mabey its the fact that im actully weak so i act strong. if im sad upset or sick i still smile like no tomorow . I have always semm like the stong...
    IamME2012 IamME2012 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 26, 2012

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    I Just Don't Want Anyone To Worry About Me

    I never want to talk about my inner problems because i don't think i should burden anyone with them. So i just wear a smile everytime i see everyone to pretend like everything is fine. Talking about what really troubles me takes a long time but wearing a smile is a lot easier...
    ImperfectionsMakeUsUnique ImperfectionsMakeUsUnique 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    I Do It All The Time

    At times when I am aching the most in the inside and I see other people wether it be family, friends or strangers I don't want them to see my feelings.. meaning I don't want them to see how much pain I am in so I do I hide behind a smile. and then just go somewhere where I can be...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Oct 18, 2012

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    "Mask" By, me Everyday I try to hide,

    behind the mask that covers my inside. A smile, a laugh, an I'm okay. Keeps them from seeing the pain I hide away. But sometimes a mask is too small. It starts to slip, it starts to fall. And then they start to see. The darkness inside of me. They frown, they turn, they say...
    Spinningoutofcontrol Spinningoutofcontrol 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2014