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I Hold Back My Tears

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 235 People

    While I Still Can

    I used to cry a lot years ago when i saw my life destroyed by myself and my family/friends. After i turned 18 i tried to just ''man up'' and hold them in. Sometimes i lay in bed and think back about the what could of beens and other things that have upset me and i can feel a tear...
    Shyone2 Shyone2 18-21, F Mar 21, 2012

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    Tough

    I am not the kind of girl that cried at sappy movies or when someone says something that is is hurtful. But my husband is in the US Army and everyone says that i need to be strong for him, not to let him see how much i hurt when he leaves and most of the time holding in my...
    thenewmrsL thenewmrsL 19-21, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2008

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    Something Left To Hold

    i don't cry as much as i used too.  i actually got to a point where i was crying myself to sleep every night for a long time but things just changed i guess.  19 i still had a heart, 20 began losing it, and now at 21 feels like i lost it.  it's hard to cry when your heart...
    EchoesInTwistedMeadows EchoesInTwistedMeadows 22-25 2 Responses Feb 26, 2012

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    Cold-hearted

    Coldhearted, emotionless, brutally honest-just some of the words that people often used to describe my personality. But one day, one day after several months of recovery-with no alcohol or vicodin to make me strong-I woke up crying and haven't stopped since. Facing the real pain...
    letingo letingo 26-30, F Jul 2, 2010

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    blink...Just blink.

    I don't like being made or feeling like I need to cry...and, I definitely don't like crying in front of others. So, I do my best to hold 'em back until I'm in my room and in private. Then, I curl up into a ball and just let it out. If I can't get to my room or my house, I think...
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2008

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    I Have To Now

    inside, i have lost everything. who i am. what i wanted. and so on...but that is besides the point i think. I have learned that when i cry,i hurt others that i care about. so i have decided to not cry anymore. well, for my stupid inner reasons. if something bad happens to someone...
    SunkinLies SunkinLies 18-21, T Jan 10, 2011

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    The Day When Everything Changed..

    When I was but a child, I have lived through countless ordeals. No one wanted to be friends with a girl who's father left behind. I never knew my father, until one day my teacher from preschool caught me crying silently as I watch all the little girls being carried off by their...
    BelLovesYou BelLovesYou 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2013

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    Scary.

    For me, crying is one of my few weaknesses.  Not only do I hate to cry in front of others, but I also hate seeing others cry. I get hurt sooooo easily.  I'm usually able to hold back my tears.  When I get hurt, people can tell, but they won't see the tears. ...
    oliveoil2007 oliveoil2007 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2008

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    What Do I Call This?

    I actually cant recall a time when I've cried, and people havent told me to stop it or say something like "Oh great, whats she crying about now?". So, I think you can guess why I dont.
    xxfallxoutxgirlxx xxfallxoutxgirlxx 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2010

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    Like If Crying Is A Bad Thing?

    I am an emotional person..'a basket case' some would say and have. I cry at the scene of 'woman running into the arms of a lover-over joyed to see them'...weddings, when someone speaks of an ill child, or when someone else cries, be it happy or sad--I am moved by emotion. I ve...
    nethingunderdasun nethingunderdasun 41-45, F Sep 23, 2010

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    It Wasn't Easy..

    I held them back constantly especially when I am at work or when I am visiting my mum.. This morning I read thru one of my stories here .... titled I Remember... I felt tears flooded by eyes.  I quickly wiped them off with tissue...sniffing away. I do miss 'our...
    Eternal Eternal 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 20, 2009

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    For As Long As Possible

    I really don't like to let myself cry. Even when I am all alone and I know no one in the world knows, I still feel really bad for even thinking about it. True, most times I do feel better after wards, but I guess I'm the type of person who would rather sit and suffer quietly...
    Melody08 Melody08 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 26, 2008

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    It Just Doens't Come Out Anymore

    It's been a while since i really, really cried and let the tears out. I dunno... I guess, a part of me's afraid of some things again... I guess, crying would weaken me. I know it's not true, but i can't help but feel that way. Sometimes, I jsut want the tears to flow, but a part...
    mistyeyedlass mistyeyedlass 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 6, 2009

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    Almost Every Day!

     Almost every day I'm faced with an emotional mountain. I struggle with being overwhelmed with life and disappointments. I worry and for my children and their struggles. I want life to be so mucheasier for them. I agonize of the responsibility I have played in their...
    nethingunderdasun nethingunderdasun 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 14, 2010

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    I don't understand why it is

    so hard sometimes, or all the time, really. Dancing around heart-break is something that I have done my entire life. Through my own decisions, or the decisions of others, my actions or the actions of others... I know heart-break very well. We are old frienemies. "I am not...
    CathyAmes CathyAmes 31-35, F Jun 11

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    I Don't Like Letting Ot...

    I don't like letting others see me cry, so I'll try to hold them in.  There's been a few times when I've actually cried though.
    evilkittymew evilkittymew 36-40, F Jan 29, 2009

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    Each Time

    It's systematic; my middle name. It passes or breaks.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 2, 2008

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    Fearing The Pain...

    I have to be honest, the majority of the time I force my tears to remain invisible so I don’t have to face the real pain I am feeling. I don’t enjoy people seeing me cry, especially not hearing the sounds I make so I subconsciously don’t let it out. Even when...
    Vikz4913 Vikz4913 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 9, 2010

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    I Try to

    I try to hold them back. Don't always succeed. When I was a senior I did a huge research paper/presentation on the Darfur conflict (this was before it was 'popular'). While I was researching I found this article: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 5, 2008

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    All The Time.....

    I hold my tears back all the time. I don't let anyone see them fall, and I don't let anyone know that they are falling. I hold them in, till I feel like I am going to explode, I hate crying, I hate when it gets to the point that I feel the need to cry, it makes me feel so small...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 18, 2010

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    I Try

    Whenever i get sad or pained enough to cry I cant hold it in no matter how hard i try I just can't. I don't get a lot of friends that way but I just can't help it I mean when I have to i do it I just can't stop it if I want to.  PLEASE COMMENT...
    babydiaperwearer babydiaperwearer 13-15, M 6 Responses Nov 12, 2008

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    Sometimes

    sometimes, I can hold back the tears, but sometimes, the emotions gets the best of me; and tears just start falling.
    LittleLena LittleLena 36-40, F Mar 21, 2013

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    I was born as leo. And leo, naturally, are very honest and very blunt. But since I have hurt lot of people I hold back everything I thought about them. But my face couldnt lie, I...
    candy8ar candy8ar 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 23

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    I don't hold back anymore life is too short and don't care what people think. ..... My people pleasing days are over. Don't walk on me. Lol
    fireansflames fireansflames 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 23

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    IT IS...... I mean I and even holding back to little things. I know lots of people are. It's hard not 2. But I know I need to change.... I want to and need to be a risk-taker...
    Arielle1justsmile Arielle1justsmile 13-15, F Oct 28

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    I'm so tired of people telling me what I should think, feel, how I should act, what I should keep to yourself and what I should share. I'm tired of when I am true to myself...
    PinkyScarlett PinkyScarlett 36-40, F Oct 31

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    As I hug my youngest son and I hear his little voice whispering in my ear: - I love you mummy.
    AN76 AN76 36-40, F 3 days ago

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    OH I so want the cure for this!!!! I was raised in house where you weren't allowed to say anything that upset Mother. She could say or do the most hurtful things and you had to...
    niklb niklb 41-45, F 2 Responses Oct 22

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    At least with people I don't know very well. I'm not the most confident person and I'm not good with confrontation, so I keep a lot to myself and let it bubble under the surface...
    Chaosforthefly Chaosforthefly 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 23

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    Not anymore. I will straight face tell you anything I'm feeling wether you like it or not. Feels good and it's nice that people know I'm honest and will give a blunt answer.
    ValhallaAwaits ValhallaAwaits 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 23

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    I have never been the kind of person to hurt other people's feelings to feel better about myself. If you have the ability to predict the effect of what you want to say will have...
    erikwho erikwho 22-25, M Oct 23

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    I have been known to, as one person put it "keep the peace", if someone ****** me off or offends me in some way I just try to ignore it and don't really say anything. Which is so...
    Selphira Selphira 16-17, F Oct 24

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    He was a poodle only 2 yrs 7months. He had gotten out of our yard by digging under the fence around 5 in the morning. Everyone at home had gone to work by 8. Whenever he got out he...
    marinadawn marinadawn 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 8

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    It wasn't *that* bad really...nothing I haven't heard before and nothing that I don't acknowledge myself already. But...still kinda sucks. Tonight at work I was sitting at a desk...
    SpilledSecrets SpilledSecrets 22-25, F Oct 29

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    going to school ,wearing a beautiful smile, full of excitement , holding a breath for a seconds before entering my room.listening well to the lesson ,answering those questions...
    davinesarah davinesarah 18-21, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I don't line to recall this event. But I was taken to the police station because of 'something' and left in a holding cell for several hours. I was treated terribly. It's painful...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 41-45 5 hrs ago

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    I believed this was my fault from the minute I said "I'm in love with you." I didn't think after that, everything would begin to change and feelings would become more unbearable...
    ThatOneComplexGirl ThatOneComplexGirl 18-21, F 6 hrs ago

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    I compare myself to people that I grew up with. I'm not trying to make anything a sob story but here is the reason why this is holding me back. Growing up, I didn't think my...
    WeirdOtaku WeirdOtaku 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 30

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    I broke down yesterday. Between school, work, and him, I've been under too much stress. I was managing it to an extent, but the break up really pushed me over the edge. In a day I...
    danii92 danii92 22-25, F Oct 24

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    I learned today to never underestimate the healing power of tears. When the storm of sadness rumbles inside the core of your being threatening to tear you apart...let the tears...
    blommetjies blommetjies 31-35, F 5 Responses Oct 25

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    I would go back and relive the school production of Grease if I could... It was so much hard work, and my solo was terrifying the first night, but the entire experience was...
    IrritatedSloth IrritatedSloth 16-17, M 1 Response Oct 21

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    The Beatles - "I Want To Hold Your Hand" Oh yeah, I'll tell you something I think you'll understand When I say that something I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand I...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    It all goes back to my childhood, I loved my mom and dad with all my heart but yet never received love back from them . The only person to ever love me as much , if not more , as...
    imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 22

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    I have a abusive mother that I still live with. Recently I've been trying to stay away from people that I feel will hold me back in life. My mom told me that I am crazy because...
    OTexperience OTexperience 22-25, F Oct 28

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    My grandparents wouldn't leave the house without holding hands. Everywhere they went they were holding hands. They always were clasped together forever. To me that was the biggest...
    taylormorgan2113 taylormorgan2113 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I am currently holding. Will anyone help me hold? I am extremely desperate!
    Katemonster07 Katemonster07 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 29

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    I don't really get offended if anyone holds a door open for me. I always thought it was a nice gesture, especially if I had my arms full. Of course I don't think people should feel...
    Elizua Elizua 13-15, F Nov 2

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    Just when I thought There was nobody out there No one who quite understood me I glanced to the side And I found you there smiling Patiently holding my hand Saying over and over It...
    htheart htheart 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 5

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