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I Hold Back My Tears

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 233 People

    Almost Every Day!

     Almost every day I'm faced with an emotional mountain. I struggle with being overwhelmed with life and disappointments. I worry and for my children and their struggles. I want life to be so mucheasier for them. I agonize of the responsibility I have played in their...
    nethingunderdasun nethingunderdasun 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 14, 2010

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    All The Time.....

    I hold my tears back all the time. I don't let anyone see them fall, and I don't let anyone know that they are falling. I hold them in, till I feel like I am going to explode, I hate crying, I hate when it gets to the point that I feel the need to cry, it makes me feel so small...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 18, 2010

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    I Try to

    I try to hold them back. Don't always succeed. When I was a senior I did a huge research paper/presentation on the Darfur conflict (this was before it was 'popular'). While I was researching I found this article: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 5, 2008

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    blink...Just blink.

    I don't like being made or feeling like I need to cry...and, I definitely don't like crying in front of others. So, I do my best to hold 'em back until I'm in my room and in private. Then, I curl up into a ball and just let it out. If I can't get to my room or my house, I think...
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2008

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    For As Long As Possible

    I really don't like to let myself cry. Even when I am all alone and I know no one in the world knows, I still feel really bad for even thinking about it. True, most times I do feel better after wards, but I guess I'm the type of person who would rather sit and suffer quietly...
    Melody08 Melody08 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 26, 2008

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    What Do I Call This?

    I actually cant recall a time when I've cried, and people havent told me to stop it or say something like "Oh great, whats she crying about now?". So, I think you can guess why I dont.
    xxfallxoutxgirlxx xxfallxoutxgirlxx 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2010

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    While I Still Can

    I used to cry a lot years ago when i saw my life destroyed by myself and my family/friends. After i turned 18 i tried to just ''man up'' and hold them in. Sometimes i lay in bed and think back about the what could of beens and other things that have upset me and i can feel a tear...
    Shyone2 Shyone2 18-21, F Mar 21, 2012

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    Like If Crying Is A Bad Thing?

    I am an emotional person..'a basket case' some would say and have. I cry at the scene of 'woman running into the arms of a lover-over joyed to see them'...weddings, when someone speaks of an ill child, or when someone else cries, be it happy or sad--I am moved by emotion. I ve...
    nethingunderdasun nethingunderdasun 41-45, F Sep 23, 2010

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    It Wasn't Easy..

    I held them back constantly especially when I am at work or when I am visiting my mum.. This morning I read thru one of my stories here .... titled I Remember... I felt tears flooded by eyes.  I quickly wiped them off with tissue...sniffing away. I do miss 'our...
    Eternal Eternal 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 20, 2009

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    Something Left To Hold

    i don't cry as much as i used too.  i actually got to a point where i was crying myself to sleep every night for a long time but things just changed i guess.  19 i still had a heart, 20 began losing it, and now at 21 feels like i lost it.  it's hard to cry when your heart...
    EchoesInTwistedMeadows EchoesInTwistedMeadows 22-25 2 Responses Feb 26, 2012

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    Fearing The Pain...

    I have to be honest, the majority of the time I force my tears to remain invisible so I don’t have to face the real pain I am feeling. I don’t enjoy people seeing me cry, especially not hearing the sounds I make so I subconsciously don’t let it out. Even when...
    Vikz4913 Vikz4913 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 9, 2010

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    Each Time

    It's systematic; my middle name. It passes or breaks.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 2, 2008

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    It Just Doens't Come Out Anymore

    It's been a while since i really, really cried and let the tears out. I dunno... I guess, a part of me's afraid of some things again... I guess, crying would weaken me. I know it's not true, but i can't help but feel that way. Sometimes, I jsut want the tears to flow, but a part...
    mistyeyedlass mistyeyedlass 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 6, 2009

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    The Day When Everything Changed..

    When I was but a child, I have lived through countless ordeals. No one wanted to be friends with a girl who's father left behind. I never knew my father, until one day my teacher from preschool caught me crying silently as I watch all the little girls being carried off by their...
    BelLovesYou BelLovesYou 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2013

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    Tough

    I am not the kind of girl that cried at sappy movies or when someone says something that is is hurtful. But my husband is in the US Army and everyone says that i need to be strong for him, not to let him see how much i hurt when he leaves and most of the time holding in my...
    thenewmrsL thenewmrsL 19-21, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2008

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    Sometimes

    sometimes, I can hold back the tears, but sometimes, the emotions gets the best of me; and tears just start falling.
    LittleLena LittleLena 36-40, F Mar 21, 2013

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    Cold-hearted

    Coldhearted, emotionless, brutally honest-just some of the words that people often used to describe my personality. But one day, one day after several months of recovery-with no alcohol or vicodin to make me strong-I woke up crying and haven't stopped since. Facing the real pain...
    letingo letingo 26-30, F Jul 2, 2010

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    I Have To Now

    inside, i have lost everything. who i am. what i wanted. and so on...but that is besides the point i think. I have learned that when i cry,i hurt others that i care about. so i have decided to not cry anymore. well, for my stupid inner reasons. if something bad happens to someone...
    SunkinLies SunkinLies 18-21, T Jan 10, 2011

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    I don't understand why it is

    so hard sometimes, or all the time, really. Dancing around heart-break is something that I have done my entire life. Through my own decisions, or the decisions of others, my actions or the actions of others... I know heart-break very well. We are old frienemies. "I am not...
    CathyAmes CathyAmes 31-35, F Jun 11

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    I Don't Like Letting Ot...

    I don't like letting others see me cry, so I'll try to hold them in.  There's been a few times when I've actually cried though.
    evilkittymew evilkittymew 36-40, F Jan 29, 2009

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    Scary.

    For me, crying is one of my few weaknesses.  Not only do I hate to cry in front of others, but I also hate seeing others cry. I get hurt sooooo easily.  I'm usually able to hold back my tears.  When I get hurt, people can tell, but they won't see the tears. ...
    oliveoil2007 oliveoil2007 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5, 2008

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    I Try

    Whenever i get sad or pained enough to cry I cant hold it in no matter how hard i try I just can't. I don't get a lot of friends that way but I just can't help it I mean when I have to i do it I just can't stop it if I want to.  PLEASE COMMENT...
    babydiaperwearer babydiaperwearer 13-15, M 6 Responses Nov 12, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I was at school at lunch when I got news that my friend Jade died. I've been holding it in so long. I have fake friends that are only nice because I spoil them. But it's better...
    Jaielll Jaielll 18-21, F a week ago

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    I love her so much. But she has feelings for someone else. I haven't stopped crying sense Saturday. Actually writing this right now my eyes are watery. I went back to school today...
    NotTheRealMe99 NotTheRealMe99 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 2

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    For any further info on this look at my other posts, and for those who already know this is just an update! I'm in love with my step brother...here are the details of whats...
    OtakuGirl911 OtakuGirl911 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 1

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    We walked holding hands hers shaking holding very tightly her steps getting slower and slower we stopped I looked at her told her she can let go now tears started out of her eyes...
    rustr8 rustr8 51-55, M 2 Responses Sep 8

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    Your thoughts fill me up As always I keep you within me. No one can empty me. Cos I am already empty I don’t know though Where I will head now Tears like poison sinking me...
    winterfall winterfall 36-40 Sep 14

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    We are both gone missing.. I’m lost above the ground and you’re lost beneath the dirt. This passing psychotic delusion you have left in me is the most vivid in all of my...
    iwantutoo iwantutoo 22-25, M Sep 11

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    Over 2 years ago I lost my mum. I was 10 at the time and it was the worst pain I had ever felt. Once she passed it was just me, my dad and my younger sister. I have a few aunts but...
    alishyahand alishyahand 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 2

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    Mummy I still dont want to accept that you left ......I cry day n night I cant help myself.mummy please forgive me please come back.i miss you so much .....no one else I can...
    jeeney jeeney 31-35, F a week ago

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    At the end of my freshman year in college I became pregnant with my daughter who's now 10 months. Her dad is an ex from high school, we planned on getting married and living...
    jtia jtia 18-21, F 1 Response 20 mins ago

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    I've had 3 abortions I've had sex with more people than I can count I've had 2 children with two different men I can hardly stand either of them let alone love them I've lost...
    Ilovehavingbraces Ilovehavingbraces 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 24

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    If I could not go back to school I would. I would just stay home. Just stay home... Not have to be picked on, called names, laughed at.... I just wish this didn't happen to me...
    kleopard88 kleopard88 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 3

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    I really want to hold a woman in my arms. Cradling her and telling her it's going to be ok. Making her feel all warm and cozy. Letter her feel my warm chest and feeling my hair...
    COD101 COD101 18-21, M Sep 4

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    I've known her for fifteen years. She thinks of me as a friend and brother. She is beautiful, smart, kind, strong and funny. I want to be with her, help raise her children, support...
    Nightshade777 Nightshade777 31-35, M Sep 8

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    Kind of funny that this is an experience, but I know a lot if people don't hold doors open for others and don't even say thanks when you do so for them, makes me wanna push them...
    jolley2k jolley2k 18-21, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Being in my mid 30s, I've dealt with this issue since my teenage years. I've even been fired by my own dad! Wth is wrong with me? I ask myself that everyday. I've had some of the...
    dailybattle dailybattle 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 4

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    ""Hold Me "" When I'm down and feeling low And confusion has touched my soul How I need some place where I can hide away So let me fall within your arms Melt away this cold I...
    Serenita Serenita 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 12

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    I never really had this feeling till my friend and i did it. Too bad we are only friends. We were watching a scary movie one day at her house and when she was scared but wanted to...
    theysayitsjustme theysayitsjustme 16-17, F Sep 5

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    I remember the days when I was too weak to hold the door open for people (like 3 days ago). With big doors when I try to hold them open I'm so weak and they start closing and I'm...
    LovelyDeadly LovelyDeadly 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 14

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    This one is going to be difficult for me to actually do as every male I've tried getting with gives up on us like it's all my fault but I'm the only one giving to receive nothing...
    lukeymrules lukeymrules 22-25, M Sep 14

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    I would do just about absolutely anything to be back together with my boyfriend and just to be able to hold him at night and wake up to him in the morning. I would give up all my...
    Cass1618 Cass1618 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    Lets Clear my name. It is Blue Mahzabin. Blue Moon, you can say. It is in Farsi. I am no Man. I used to know a Muslim Man, who believed and Worship his GOD. When he needed to lie...
    BlueMah BlueMah 46-50, M Sep 2

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    Makes me feel loved and secure. When a man wants to hold my hand I feel special. But right now...nothing can make me feel better than my daughter grabbing my hand to hold it...
    Beckarae Beckarae 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 9

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    I live in Texas, and I an honestly say that just about everywhere I go someone holds the door open for me or I hold the door open for about 15 minutes until people stop going in...
    Marielights Marielights 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 14

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    I hold the door for others and them I don't know when to stop holding the door for people...
    Kperr14 Kperr14 13-15, F a week ago

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    It's not a trait of mine I particularly like, but I feel more often than not, it's justified. The only way I don't hold a grudge is if that person is genuinely remorseful and...
    Reallifeperson Reallifeperson 22-25, M 6 days ago

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    Seeing a old couple doing something as small as holding hands is so significant to me. It's a little spark of hope that relationships that last till your grown and old do exist...
    ComplicatedGirl18 ComplicatedGirl18 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I met him online and we were instant friends. He's gay, I'm bi, so I thought that this could be a real relationship. But recently, when I was being flirty with him. He was like...
    matagorta5 matagorta5 13-15, M Sep 1

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    I cry but not really. I sorta whimper but I don't actually cry cry. I try holding it in and so far I've held in pain for a long time. When people make fun of me I laugh to make it...