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I Hope I Don't End Up In a Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 249 People

    Hard to Even Get to the Point of Having It

    I'm sure it's not just me, but isn't it hard to find time for sex? My husband has a 40 hour/week job, is the percussion section leader for the local symphony, teaches private piano lessons, and is in a jazz quartet that is often hired for gigs. He doesn't need to do it all for...
    Sidereus Sidereus 19-21, F 2 Responses Jan 31, 2008

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    That Would Suck

    the way things are going, i think me and mine will be just fine. after 7 yrs [i know thats not long to some people] we are just as happy as we were the first day we kissed. we still light up around eachother. sometimes my face hurts from my uncontrolable smiling when hes...
    antiyou antiyou 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 29, 2008

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    Too Late For Me

    I already did end up in the hell that is a sexless marriage!!!!!!!
    JRSK007 JRSK007 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 29, 2008

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    Afraid Of Losing The Passion

    My husband and I have been married for 2 years in Sept. We just had a baby a month ago. Before I got pregnant (which we wanted) our sex life was HOT! About six months into the pregnancy, I wasn't "sexy" anymore. I was "maternal", "holly", and he didn't want to "invade" me. We...
    caitg caitg 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 5, 2013

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    No Sex? No Marriage!

    My family are very open about sex, out of my girlfriends I'm always the first to mention something about sex, and in relationships the physical connection is usually the best thing! I'm terrified that when I get married, it'll be a sexless marriage, like so many of them are...
    DarceySmile DarceySmile 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 14, 2009

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    But It's So Wonderful

      F-U-C-K-I-N-G It The dirty Knock boots Do the laundry Shag Whatever you call it no one denies, it's FANTASTIC! People get mad when teens have sex. Why? a number of opinions, (Not making these up) (1) They're to young (2) They'll get pregnant (3) They could be doing...
    NeenaFlame NeenaFlame 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2012

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    It's Important

    Sex is a very important part of a romantic relationship. The physical attraction and sexual activities, and such, that go on are what seperate romance from just friendship. I also think that people cheapen sex too much. They say that something is "just sex" or all...
    JonFurniss JonFurniss 18-21, M 4 Responses Jun 4, 2008

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    I Don't Think I Could Do It.

    First off I am not going to marry someone who isn't sexual, preferably she will be a bit more sexual than than the norm. Why would anyone stay with someone who changes to the point of no longer wanting to make love to you. If it came to that then I am afraid the third...
    BlueGeorgia BlueGeorgia 41-45, M 28 Responses Jan 29, 2008

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    I Found Out.!

    I found out why sex and marriage is not what it was before you were married,  this is what my husband says it is... und it makes sense. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. I belive he is right whats your thoughts.? Leiza
    Leiza350 Leiza350 31-35, F 10 Responses Dec 7, 2008

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    Bit of An Obsession...

    (sorry to post/delete/repost, I had a ton of issues for some silly reason!)   I was in a long term "sexless" relationship for about 7 years (thankfully never married him).  I'm still quite young, and while out of that relationship, I'm still obsessdly...
    ConfusedKitten ConfusedKitten 22-25, F 10 Responses Nov 11, 2008

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    But It's So Wonderful

      F-U-C-K-I-N-G It The dirty Knock boots Do the laundry Shag Whatever you call it no one denies, it's FANTASTIC! People get mad when teens have sex. Why? a number of opinions, (Not making these up) (1) They're to young (2) They'll get pregnant (3) They could be doing...
    NeenaFlame NeenaFlame 18-21, F Sep 22, 2012

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    Enjoy Your Lover Spiritually

    http://s6.photobucket.com/editor?image=http%3A//i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/coorocker/Image194.jpg&detailUrl=http://s6.photobucket.com/user/coorocker/media/Image194.jpg.html?filters[media_type]=image&sort=3&o=0 We were made to enjoy the voluptuousness of our partner. Sex is a...
    David1138 David1138 18-21 Jul 31, 2013

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    Don'T Know What To Think!

    Is it possible to live in a sexless marriage without resentment? Without questioning yourself and your attractiveness, your desirability? Without losing hope? Is a sexless marriage one with no sex at all or very little? Is it relative to the length of the marriage? If so I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 31, 2013

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    **** That

    just like i said in the title **** that should be legal grounds for divorce definitely isn't the life my Wonder and I will have
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jan 29, 2008

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    Connection

    it is not enought to hope! keep the connection with each other happening. if you feel you are drifting, you probalby are. reverse the drift ASAP.  
    cuphalffull cuphalffull 46-50, M Jan 28, 2008

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    Dont Ever Want to Be

    So how do you end up in a sexless marrige?  Does everythig go strong and then it just goes downhill from there? 
    jess829 jess829 22-25 Aug 16, 2008

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    Never Again

    Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. My last marriage involved about as much sex a porcupine has.  I am a passionate person by nature and I just could not be in a marriage where I was lucky if it was once a month. I admit the affair happened and the marriage was ending...
    cinfullynn cinfullynn 46-50, F 9 Responses Feb 6, 2008

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    Plain and Simple: I'd Cheat

    I want to marry someone i am intimate with, sex is part of that.  It's a physical manefestation of love.  I think I would seek the feeling of being loved somewhere else.
    alisheaskylar alisheaskylar 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 9, 2008

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    I Hope Not!

    Although sex is important to me when it comes to relationships, I know better than to base a relationship entirely on sex. Honestly, I believe sex goes hand in hand with love and friendship. But that's a different story for a different experience group on a different day.
    Ichilicious Ichilicious 22-25, M 2 Responses Dec 7, 2011

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    I'm really scared that how sexual I get these

    days are going to affect how I am when I have a boyfriend and if he could meet my sexual needs, I'm confident I could meet his but, mine are important too. I do however respect how far a man is willing to go like, when I was dating this guy two years younger than me and he is a...
    divababy divababy 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 25

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    Sex Is Good...

    I don't mean that in nymphmaniac kind of way. I mean that marriage is about compatibility in all  departments...including sex. I hope that my future partner, whoever he is, is someone that I can grow with sexually as well as emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I also...
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 9, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    For about six years I was the one who had to keep asking for sex. I said so many times that she shouldn't take my genuine interest in her for granted because one day she will lose...
    unquotequote unquotequote 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 3

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    I discovered this board about a week ago, by chance, and by reading the many posts surrounding this issue, it's been an eye-opener to say the least, and not just because I now know...
    copperdoodle copperdoodle 41-45, F 6 Responses 1 hr ago

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    My wife and I haven't had sex for 15 years now - it's both our faults, mine as much as hers, if not more. She had two difficult pregnancies, and one of our children was born with a...
    jamespople jamespople 51-55, M 5 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    This is a little scary, posting about such private matters to people I've never met, but here goes. I googled sexless marriage for the first time today. What triggered it was the...
    TCKat TCKat 36-40, F 11 Responses Apr 10

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    Illusions That Kept Me Trapped in Sexless Marriage If you read my first EP story, you will get the impression that the sexlessness started with the conception of my child 4 years...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 6 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Before and After … Nearing 8 months after my separation, I reflect on the emotional desert I have called my marriage. During those years, I was starved for a smile or a hug. A...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 11 Responses Apr 6

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    Psychology Today has a couple of recent articles regarding "Does Sexless marriage justify adultery". The articles are reasonable and informed and the comments worthwhile. They...
    hl42 hl42 51-55, M 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    Make that, that I used to live in a marriage that was becoming a sexless marriage. Today would have been our second anniversary. The story is complicated, but to make it short, she...
    soundtrackforantarctica soundtrackforantarctica 26-30, M 8 Responses Mar 25

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    Thought this was worth a read. Not applicable to all but still interesting. A lack of sexual interest in women is a big topic Fotolia_49866286_XS Peter and Andrea are teachers...
    HusbandOfOne HusbandOfOne 41-45, M 13 Responses Apr 10

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    I'm a little bit tired of sexlessness one-up-manship that's been taking place in this forum recently. We haven't had sex in 15 months.... Reply: that's nothing We've had sex...
    elkclan elkclan 41-45, F 22 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm on my way out. We filed the papers to end our marriage yesterday, so in thirty to ninety days I will be single. It's a little sad. He and I both have said we never in a...
    couldbeheaven couldbeheaven 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 1

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    Remember the Peanuts cartoons where Charlie Brown tried and tried to kick the football held by Lucy? Charlie Brown would approach the ball, skeptical and questioning: "If I try to...
    indianoutlaw indianoutlaw 31-35, M 9 Responses Apr 2

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    Stuff I Used To Think (but don't any more) In regard to sexless marriages, I once used to think that the complainant person - - was probably a hopelessly bad root - wasn't...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 7 Responses Mar 24

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    Ive been married for 13 y. And Ive been living in a sexless marriage for the past 4 or 5 maybe more. We have three kids and there was always an excuse for not having sex with...
    aking1973 aking1973 41-45, M 13 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I had a meeting with stbx yesterday. At first I was scaredto go. Scared bbecause I had just sorted through my feelings on why I felt so empty and why I felt like I had wanted to...
    katzlaw katzlaw 36-40, F 11 Responses Mar 23

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    Those who do not have to deal with this situation must find it odd that those of us who do, express such deep sadness and longing. How often do the comments suggested the simple...
    DumbLondoner DumbLondoner 51-55, M 18 Responses Apr 14

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    Another thing missing from this sexless marriage, besides intimacy, love and respect is fun and laughter. (Jeez, what exactly do I get from this marriage) I thought that I had...
    Gingersnapped Gingersnapped 51-55, F 13 Responses Mar 25

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    Update: I was active on this site about 2 years ago. I read all the posts and despite the enormous body of experience laid out I still somehow thought I would be different. I...
    NeedingToVent NeedingToVent 36-40, F 12 Responses Mar 30

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    For Kids Sake.... As part of our divorce and the process both my stbx and my therapist suggested a seminar called For Kids Sake. I got quite a bit out of it myself. I attended...
    Usernametbd Usernametbd 36-40, M 7 Responses Mar 30

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    Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post yesterday. I was overwhelmed by the friendship and advice that you guys gave. As I think about the situation I am in...
    DumbLondoner DumbLondoner 51-55, M 10 Responses 6 days ago

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    There are 2 whys in the sexless marriage. The first is: why does my spouse not want sex? This leads to a huge cycle of reason-chasing, smokescreening from the refuser, magical...
    hl42 hl42 51-55, M 8 Responses Mar 26

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    Two weeks ago, I shared what I thought would be my current status for awhile. Life being what it is - it has thrown me into a crazy roller coaster loop once again. The good news...
    lightblueeyes lightblueeyes 46-50, F 21 Responses Mar 28

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    It really is amazing how hard you can focus and how much effort you can put forth, when working on something that's important to you, that you truly care about. It also makes it...
    princessmaryjane4200 princessmaryjane4200 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 12

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    Last night: We've been spending nights on separate rooms for more than 1 1/2 yrs now, no sex. I've made it clear that I don't want to form enemity or strife as we part ways...
    lovegentle lovegentle 36-40, M 6 Responses Mar 30

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    I asked for a divorce 2 months ago. He moved out 2 weeks ago. Divorce will be final in 6 months. I wrote all my stories in I live in a sexless marriage group. I have been a member...
    Cucly80 Cucly80 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 2

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    Just so frustrating fighting a loosing battle with a partner who won't talk, won't answer and won't commit, just keeps you hanging on with the same promises she's made before...
    havensuppy havensuppy 41-45, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    So what do I do? My wife is probably the most easiest person to live with, but the sex and passion is non-existent. Talking about it is useless. I don't want to just walk away from...
    BiHow BiHow 41-45, M 13 Responses Apr 6

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    I have been married for 8 years. The sex was just alright in the first couple of years and then basically dwindled off into never ever land. I thought I could accept her lack of...
    ll2live ll2live 41-45 8 Responses Apr 7

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    Hip Hip Hooray! After 5 years of a hopeless sexless marriage I'm free! I am now dating again (:
    xobluebirdxo xobluebirdxo 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 7

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    I am new here. I haven't participated in online discussions in years so this is quite awkward but I like the anonymity an could really use an ear. I will be married for five years...
    gardinel gardinel 36-40, F 12 Responses Apr 10

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    My life is a sham. I am a 37 year old female and have been married to my husband for 2 years and together for 4. He has never been interested in sex with me but we did long...
    Pattycakey Pattycakey 36-40, F 17 Responses 2 days ago

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    Well it's been about 2 months since I last wrote about my little "situation". Unfortunately, not much has changed. I mean I could say that it's possibly a good thing because my...
    iDntCurr iDntCurr 22-25, F 20 Responses 1 day ago