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I Hurt Myself Because I Deserve It

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 267 People

    My Name Is Shaun

    i use self harm because i fell i deserve it . i used to be a cutter when i was younger but i had been able to overcome it for many of years but a few years ago i had lost my father and now i cant seem to stop the abuse. i cut until theres no room to cut , i break my fingers and...
    notsoworthy notsoworthy 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    Yes I Do

    I do deserve it I deserve the pain.
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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    I Deserve Punishment

    I deserve punishment. My best friends death is at least 50% my fault. I need to cut for that. I lied a bunch today so I'm going to have one cut for each lie, the worse the lie, the deeper the cut. I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to cut and punish myself. I deserve it for...
    MissingIdentidy MissingIdentidy 26-30, F May 12, 2013

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    Never Good Enough

    I was so proud that I hadn't cut in almost a year, and then last weekend it was all too much.  I did it.  I'm a genius at hiding my cuts, so one one knows, not even my husband.  He doesn't know what to do about it anyway, so just ignores it.  I don't know what...
    HRHBastion HRHBastion 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 26, 2010

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    I Am Proud.

    I know i deserve to be hurt. To be in pain. Its really quite strange though, considering that a few months ago i promised myself that i wouldn't break down. I wouldn't hurt myself. That i would survive. How wrong i was, i realise now that i deserve the hurt, the pain and...
    dancetoyourownmusic dancetoyourownmusic 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2010

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    I'm Getting Better.

    I used to cut myself to hurt myself, because I felt it was a punishment for every bad thing I've done, even if it was just a simple thing like getting a C on a test or something.  But now I haven't cut in over 4 months, and I will never do it again.  I try not to hurt...
    FallingStarr FallingStarr 18-21, F 1 Response May 31, 2010

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    Id Like To Share Today I Was Tough It Helps

    Well im here for one reason thru these eyes to die why not speed up the process a little  i hurt myself for alot of reasons one being because i deserve it  i use to drink away my pain till they sent me to rehab  hell id be drunk right now if it werent for the...
    c1rca4lif3v2 c1rca4lif3v2 16-17 1 Response Aug 15, 2010

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    I Hurt Myself Because I'm Deserve It

    I'm such a freaking selfish b*tch. I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked someone else. Even if I cut myself and burn it many times but it doesn't compare to the pain of the one I used to loved have now. I'm felt disgusting at myself...
    marry100 marry100 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2013

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    I get so angry with my loving hubby

    and I end up hurting him physically. Scratching, throwing things at him, trying to kick him. And when I realize what I've done I feel the need to hurt myself a thousand times worse.
    lamisspink lamisspink 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2014

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    No-one Can Hurt Me More Than I Can Hurt Myself

    I deserve it, I know I do. All i've ever done is hurt other people... hurting myself stops that pain from being so extreme. I punish myself for it, I can't help hurting other people and they don't understand that, so hurting myself, cutting my skin stops this from being so...
    Raveneyes Raveneyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    20 Years Of Self Hate

    I have great parents who love me unconditionally - siblings too. Deep friendships... friends who I would die for (literally.... Aristotelean "perfect friends"). A good job, good co-workers.... but I HATE myself. There is nothing inside of me. The razors I use to write these...
    menschfeind menschfeind 26-30 Jul 6, 2010

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    Yea...i do...i feel like i deserve this.

    ..more pain....more loneliness...until i can't take this anymore and kill myself...that's my life plan...
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    I Hate Myself

    i dont deserve to be here. i hate myself so much. i cut, i burn, just so i can get rid of the emotional pain. but i cant take it anymore.
    kahtweenuh kahtweenuh 16-17, F Jul 20, 2012

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    MAC619 MAC619 16-17, F Jan 21

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    How To Forget The Person You Love Most

    im rahul, of 17 years of age. I had a love at first site with my college mate. It takes 1year to accept my love from the one who i propose. it was very fine nd i feel very happy for 2,3 months. Wt happin i dont know after 3 months the girl staris avoidiong me. im very un happy...
    nanirahul nanirahul 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 15, 2013

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    I cut myself because I am fat.

    I started because I'm overweight, and I hate my body. I hate myself for being weak. I looked at pictures of myself four years ago, and though I was fat then, I'm even fatter now. My body is disgusting, so I cut myself on my stomach-- because that's where I deserve it. I don't...
    nvmindme nvmindme 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12, 2014

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    I Don't Know Really...

    I don't cut my wrists or anything like that. I have anorexia, well i am slowly recovering and absolutly hate life right now. I feel so fat as mum and dad are feeding me loads to make me put on weight and i look awful enough as it is. I feel disgusted when I look at my stomach so...
    xplanbx xplanbx 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 21, 2010

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    I Really Do

    I've done some horrible things in my life, and it is time I pay for them instead of hiding from karma.
    musared musared 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2009

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    im a horrible person

    and i don't know why i only deserve to die and i need someone to save me
    Austin5123 Austin5123 13-15, M 6 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    I Shall Not Break The Rules

    I burn, cut, and brand myself. Why? Well my husband tells me that I deserve it and I know I do so when I feel that he didnt punish me enough I punish myself. "I deserve to hurt because I am worthless and I am a dog. Dogs have no rights, I have no rights. I am scum and nothing...
    bitchbynature0 bitchbynature0 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2012

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    FadingStarrr FadingStarrr 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    Erasing My Life Away

    i had to dump my boyfriend for my parents because they hate how i'm older then him. And now since i had to let him go, i hurt so much, i used an eraser and burned my skin away. I couldnt feel it. I will never date again, well my parents wont let me until i graduate. my friends...
    glodens glodens 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2009

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    This

    Yeah, this ugly piece of **** here, THIS is a work of art. Just not the kind of art you're going to see in a gallery any time soon, nor the sort of thing anyone really wants to spend their time looking at, but hey a canvas DESERVES paint, right? That is what it was built for...
    newmurderer newmurderer 66-70 2 Responses Jun 13, 2010

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    I just don't want to bother anyone.

    I don't want to upset anyone but that's all I seem to be good for. I deserve to hurt emotionally and physically. I want it, because it's what I deserve. And I don't feel bad about it, because I feel better when I hurt, but it just makes people even more upset. I don't know...
    Incogneato555 Incogneato555 18-21, F Sep 25, 2014

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    I Deserve To Be Hurt Because I'm Stupid.

    But I'm such a pansy, I can't even cut myself because I don't like pain and I don't like blood, which is just typical of me. Everyone bullies me, they tell me I'm useless and I am, I'm not as good as people I know, I'm definitely not better. I used to think I was smart, but I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    I Deserve To Hurt

    My nutritionist told me today that I need to stop hurting myself because others have hurt me.... that by hurting myself, I'm letting them win twice. It makes sense - I'm not sure why it's so hard for that message to truly sink in. Sometimes though, I hurt myself because I know...
    inhale123exhale inhale123exhale 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 13, 2011

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    Yes

    I hurt myself because I know I deserve it. The voices in my head, tell me that I deserve to cut myself, that I have to punish myself for being a horrible person. Its my fault that I am just how I am, and I am the one who has to pay for it.   I cut myself, I burn...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 6, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Ever since I was younger, I don't react to disappointing others very well. I had always been wary about how they see me and how I should act around them because I feel like no one...
    JalynArr JalynArr 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    When I have a bad day or I'm upset, I look around the room at all the things that I could use to hurt myself. A straightener, tweezers. I'm a strong believer in god and am too...
    BrokenW1ng BrokenW1ng 18-21, F 6 hrs ago

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    Old habits... the hospitals couldn't fix my urges to mutilate my skin. Carving the beautiful patterns that are my stories that people will never know. It's an addiction. A...
    wouldyoumissme wouldyoumissme 16-17, M Mar 2

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    I've cut myself once, and I dont know if I should tell someone or not. I really don't know what to do or who I can trust.
    jeanine281 jeanine281 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 2

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    Yes I am a cutter but I'm not proud of it at all. in fact I do my best to pretend like they aren't there. I have old ones on my left arm but new and old ones on both of my thighs...
    easterbaby88 easterbaby88 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    I can't help it. I'm in the darkest place ever. I've gone through this before, but I got through it all & I thought that was the end. But it's all coming back. I don't know if I...
    monicaar3 monicaar3 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I have recently stopped caring. I used to cut because I just could not handle what was going on in my life. I used to cut because I would hurt so bad that I didn't know how else to...
    lowellwolf lowellwolf 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    Last September my ex girlfriend of seventeen months broke up with me. This isn't what had hurt me because we were both unhappy an at two different points in ours lives. She cheated...
    AustynMonroe AustynMonroe 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    When I hurt myself I fantasize about hurting others, I would feed off of the pain they are experiencing. When they laughed at me and bullied me. When they abused me. I'll...
    wouldyoumissme wouldyoumissme 16-17, M Mar 2

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    I guess I have no room to complain. Keep putting myself back in this position. Aren't we allowed to make mistakes? It's so hurtful to hear that someone won't be there for you...
    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    I can somewhat understand that people will block harassing members. But as I never harassed anyone I don't understand why I got blocked at least from following members Drea85...
    boobiliciousfan boobiliciousfan 46-50, M 4 Responses Mar 11

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    I feel really embarrassed of myself because this morning i had a presentation and i tried to be humorous. However except me, no one else laugh. i was also not confident :( It was...
    Hikary1995 Hikary1995 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am both the victim and the abuser. they say blades are dangerous, my thoughts have hurt me more than blades ever could. I cut to feel, I to live, to breathe, to survive this...
    recoveringteen00 recoveringteen00 13-15, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I couldn't help myself after everything that's been going on I just gave in and did it. I feel like I should go back and do it to punish myself for hurting myself but I just don't...
    theultimatesashacourtney theultimatesashacourtney 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 2

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    Don't know why I hate myself so much. It's almost become an addiction, where bc I can't stand myself so much that I participate in activities that cause me to hurt myself, to the...
    liveurbestlifenow liveurbestlifenow 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I just keep hurting myself...
    nomnommings nomnommings 16-17, F Mar 8

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    I hope you can't even imagine the pain I went through. People say there's 3 types of abuse... Take em all, put em in a blender, mix it and out comes a big disgusting mush of pain...
    bluecupcakes bluecupcakes 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 14

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