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I Hurt Myself Because I Deserve It

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 228 People

    I Deserve Punishment

    I deserve punishment. My best friends death is at least 50% my fault. I need to cut for that. I lied a bunch today so I'm going to have one cut for each lie, the worse the lie, the deeper the cut. I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to cut and punish myself. I deserve it for...
    MissingIdentidy MissingIdentidy 22-25, F May 12, 2013

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    I'm Getting Better.

    I used to cut myself to hurt myself, because I felt it was a punishment for every bad thing I've done, even if it was just a simple thing like getting a C on a test or something.  But now I haven't cut in over 4 months, and I will never do it again.  I try not to hurt...
    FallingStarr FallingStarr 18-21, F 1 Response May 31, 2010

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    Never Good Enough

    I was so proud that I hadn't cut in almost a year, and then last weekend it was all too much.  I did it.  I'm a genius at hiding my cuts, so one one knows, not even my husband.  He doesn't know what to do about it anyway, so just ignores it.  I don't know what...
    HRHBastion HRHBastion 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 26, 2010

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    20 Years Of Self Hate

    I have great parents who love me unconditionally - siblings too. Deep friendships... friends who I would die for (literally.... Aristotelean "perfect friends"). A good job, good co-workers.... but I HATE myself. There is nothing inside of me. The razors I use to write these...
    menschfeind menschfeind 26-30 Jul 6, 2010

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    I Don't Know Really...

    I don't cut my wrists or anything like that. I have anorexia, well i am slowly recovering and absolutly hate life right now. I feel so fat as mum and dad are feeding me loads to make me put on weight and i look awful enough as it is. I feel disgusted when I look at my stomach so...
    xplanbx xplanbx 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 21, 2010

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    Id Like To Share Today I Was Tough It Helps

    Well im here for one reason thru these eyes to die why not speed up the process a little  i hurt myself for alot of reasons one being because i deserve it  i use to drink away my pain till they sent me to rehab  hell id be drunk right now if it werent for the...
    c1rca4lif3v2 c1rca4lif3v2 16-17 1 Response Aug 15, 2010

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    I Hate Myself

    i dont deserve to be here. i hate myself so much. i cut, i burn, just so i can get rid of the emotional pain. but i cant take it anymore.
    kahtweenuh kahtweenuh 16-17, F Jul 20, 2012

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    Yes

    I hurt myself because I know I deserve it. The voices in my head, tell me that I deserve to cut myself, that I have to punish myself for being a horrible person. Its my fault that I am just how I am, and I am the one who has to pay for it.   I cut myself, I burn...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 6, 2009

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    This

    Yeah, this ugly piece of **** here, THIS is a work of art. Just not the kind of art you're going to see in a gallery any time soon, nor the sort of thing anyone really wants to spend their time looking at, but hey a canvas DESERVES paint, right? That is what it was built for...
    newmurderer newmurderer 70+ 2 Responses Jun 13, 2010

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    My Name Is Shaun

    i use self harm because i fell i deserve it . i used to be a cutter when i was younger but i had been able to overcome it for many of years but a few years ago i had lost my father and now i cant seem to stop the abuse. i cut until theres no room to cut , i break my fingers and...
    notsoworthy notsoworthy 22-25, M Jul 17, 2013

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    I Deserve To Hurt

    My nutritionist told me today that I need to stop hurting myself because others have hurt me.... that by hurting myself, I'm letting them win twice. It makes sense - I'm not sure why it's so hard for that message to truly sink in. Sometimes though, I hurt myself because I know...
    inhale123exhale inhale123exhale 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 13, 2011

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    I get so angry with my loving hubby

    and I end up hurting him physically. Scratching, throwing things at him, trying to kick him. And when I realize what I've done I feel the need to hurt myself a thousand times worse.
    lamisspink lamisspink 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 3

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    I Really Do

    I've done some horrible things in my life, and it is time I pay for them instead of hiding from karma.
    musared musared 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2009

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    I Hurt Myself Because I'm Deserve It

    I'm such a freaking selfish b*tch. I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked someone else. Even if I cut myself and burn it many times but it doesn't compare to the pain of the one I used to loved have now. I'm felt disgusting at myself...
    marry100 marry100 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2013

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    How To Forget The Person You Love Most

    im rahul, of 17 years of age. I had a love at first site with my college mate. It takes 1year to accept my love from the one who i propose. it was very fine nd i feel very happy for 2,3 months. Wt happin i dont know after 3 months the girl staris avoidiong me. im very un happy...
    nanirahul nanirahul 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 15, 2013

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    Yes I Do

    I do deserve it I deserve the pain.
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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    Erasing My Life Away

    i had to dump my boyfriend for my parents because they hate how i'm older then him. And now since i had to let him go, i hurt so much, i used an eraser and burned my skin away. I couldnt feel it. I will never date again, well my parents wont let me until i graduate. my friends...
    glodens glodens 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2009

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    No-one Can Hurt Me More Than I Can Hurt Myself

    I deserve it, I know I do. All i've ever done is hurt other people... hurting myself stops that pain from being so extreme. I punish myself for it, I can't help hurting other people and they don't understand that, so hurting myself, cutting my skin stops this from being so...
    Raveneyes Raveneyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    I just don't want to bother anyone.

    I don't want to upset anyone but that's all I seem to be good for. I deserve to hurt emotionally and physically. I want it, because it's what I deserve. And I don't feel bad about it, because I feel better when I hurt, but it just makes people even more upset. I don't know...
    Incogneato555 Incogneato555 16-17, F Sep 25

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    I Deserve To Be Hurt Because I'm Stupid.

    But I'm such a pansy, I can't even cut myself because I don't like pain and I don't like blood, which is just typical of me. Everyone bullies me, they tell me I'm useless and I am, I'm not as good as people I know, I'm definitely not better. I used to think I was smart, but I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    im a horrible person

    and i don't know why i only deserve to die and i need someone to save me
    Austin5123 Austin5123 13-15, M 6 Responses Apr 15

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    I Shall Not Break The Rules

    I burn, cut, and brand myself. Why? Well my husband tells me that I deserve it and I know I do so when I feel that he didnt punish me enough I punish myself. "I deserve to hurt because I am worthless and I am a dog. Dogs have no rights, I have no rights. I am scum and nothing...
    bitchbynature0 bitchbynature0 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2012

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    I cut myself because I am fat.

    I started because I'm overweight, and I hate my body. I hate myself for being weak. I looked at pictures of myself four years ago, and though I was fat then, I'm even fatter now. My body is disgusting, so I cut myself on my stomach-- because that's where I deserve it. I don't...
    nvmindme nvmindme 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    I Am Proud.

    I know i deserve to be hurt. To be in pain. Its really quite strange though, considering that a few months ago i promised myself that i wouldn't break down. I wouldn't hurt myself. That i would survive. How wrong i was, i realise now that i deserve the hurt, the pain and...
    dancetoyourownmusic dancetoyourownmusic 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I cut myself last night, for the first time in my life.....
    HisDaysAreNumbered HisDaysAreNumbered 18-21, M 3 Responses Oct 9

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    I think i might have bandaged my arm a little to tight but, i dont feel the pain,
    ClockworkTimesUp ClockworkTimesUp 13-15, F Sep 23

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    I feel so empty and alone even though I know I'm not alone. I cut just to get some sort of feeling inside me.
    WolfChild12 WolfChild12 18-21, F Oct 12

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    I'm ready to die now. I'm only staying around to help Morgan. God knows she needs help. But I do it so much that now my scars look like my skin on my thighs and arms.
    sh3lf1sh sh3lf1sh 13-15, M 1 day ago

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    Never have I thought of killing myself or try hurting myself in ways that would end my life easily. I started to beat myself a few days ago and it felt good. I feel like I deserve...
    MaryJay712 MaryJay712 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 4

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    I want to be the unique and beautiful goddess I once was. Right now, I am ugly and undesirable. I loved myself last week and the week before, but something happened this week that...
    WingsofTime WingsofTime 22-25, F Oct 3

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    I cut myself because I deserve it. It feels better when I get the physical pain I deserve. I almost relieve myself from my emotions. I stop crying after I cut. It's a feeling of...
    ChainsAndRazorblades ChainsAndRazorblades 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    When I like someone it'll become an obsession and I'll scream for attention like a child. Cry and all even starve myself and other things to harm my own body if that person doesn't...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 7

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    Something I wrote to him, although I didn't send it. Thank you. I have a lot of things to thank you for. Thank you for showing me how to love and supposedly be "loved". Thank...
    weightingforhappiness weightingforhappiness 18-21, F Oct 2

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    Something I wrote to him, although I didn't send it. Thank you. I have a lot of things to thank you for. Thank you for showing me how to love and supposedly be "loved". Thank...
    weightingforhappiness weightingforhappiness 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 2

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    1 I think I am bi I am attracted togirls and boys 2 I cut 3 I am a pro Ana 4 I want to die 5 I hate my self 6 I want to get a tattoo 7 I wove book like wove them 8 I like...
    nimy29 nimy29 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    I'm running out of reasons to get out of bed. I'm hurting so much and I need someone. My life is spiralling down and this is the only place I can express what I'm feeling. I think...
    Gordonzobeanz Gordonzobeanz 18-21, M 6 Responses Oct 7

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    I hate everything I've become and I don't know to do I've felt like this for a while and now I've begun starving myself because I want to change who I am I don't wanna look in the...
    lornaxox lornaxox 18-21, F Sep 22

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    I have started to get to the point, where I find it completely useless to try to become friends with anyone. All my friends act like I am really annoying, and they criticize me...
    dogsareCute16 dogsareCute16 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 5

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    Well I feel like I'm never satisfied with myself. I can never do anything right or please anybody. Sometimes I'll cry randomly because I'm frustrated or just tired of everything...
    andreaespe andreaespe 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 11

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    How can you love yourself when you don't feel good about yourself ? This is the question I ask myself, because when I think about it the answer is. I don't feel good about myself...
    Sara600 Sara600 56-60, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I want to so badly. I haven't in a decent while and I won't do it too much or too deep. My girlfriend doesn't want me to do it but it makes me feel better, I can only hurt myself...
    ImNotReallyFine ImNotReallyFine 13-15, M 2 Responses Sep 25

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    I'm three weeks clean..that's the longest I've ever gone, but your body knows what it needs and I need to hurt myself so badly, maybe I can just 'accidentally' fall off of a cliff...
    XxBadXVibesxX XxBadXVibesxX 13-15, F 7 Responses Sep 27

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    I managed not to cut for one year now, I felt better and better the last months. But the feeling of wanting to hurt myself gets stronger and stronger. Things are getting worse... I...
    Muizi Muizi 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I mainly talk to myself because I'm a planner at heart so I like to plan out what I'll say on the phone or maybe in a conversation with someone. I think I don't like not being...
    simplycomplex82 simplycomplex82 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 25

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    I'm WAY to wide and I think that's why people hate me. I also hate myself because of it
    himynameishikari himynameishikari 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 4

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    My husband has gone out and my son has gone to his grandmas and I hate being myself because I realise I have no meaning other than being a wife and a mother is that sad?
    ThoughtIknewLove ThoughtIknewLove 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 5

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    I want to kill myself because I'm a horrible person and no one cares about me I'm still trying its just slitting my wrist didn't work neither did popping pills anybody have any...
    rosetta52213 rosetta52213 16-17, F 5 Responses Oct 6

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    I bust my ***. To be the best. That I can be. I'm a nerd. I guess. I try for you. Always for you. I get 86/85. On an exam. Happiest day of my life. But. I misread teacher's email...
    2ndB3ST 2ndB3ST 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    Pain in my chest like my heart has stopped. My heart ripped to a thousand pieces when I hear your voice. To look at you makes me want to disappear into blackness. Love not even...
    paliglass paliglass 31-35, F 12 mins ago

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    I have been doing so much writing as of late, I find that it helps me focus on the here and now. I write about my day, my goals, dreams, desires...I write about so much. I have...
    Indigolesbian70 Indigolesbian70 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 28