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I Hurt Myself Because I Deserve It

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 328 People

    I cut myself because I am fat.

    I started because I'm overweight, and I hate my body. I hate myself for being weak. I looked at pictures of myself four years ago, and though I was fat then, I'm even fatter now. My body is disgusting, so I cut myself on my stomach-- because that's where I deserve it. I don't...
    nvmindme nvmindme 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 12, 2014

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    This

    Yeah, this ugly piece of **** here, THIS is a work of art. Just not the kind of art you're going to see in a gallery any time soon, nor the sort of thing anyone really wants to spend their time looking at, but hey a canvas DESERVES paint, right? That is what it was built for...
    newmurderer newmurderer 66-70 2 Responses Jun 13, 2010

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    I Shall Not Break The Rules

    I burn, cut, and brand myself. Why? Well my husband tells me that I deserve it and I know I do so when I feel that he didnt punish me enough I punish myself. "I deserve to hurt because I am worthless and I am a dog. Dogs have no rights, I have no rights. I am scum and nothing...
    bitchbynature0 bitchbynature0 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2012

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    How To Forget The Person You Love Most

    im rahul, of 17 years of age. I had a love at first site with my college mate. It takes 1year to accept my love from the one who i propose. it was very fine nd i feel very happy for 2,3 months. Wt happin i dont know after 3 months the girl staris avoidiong me. im very un happy...
    nanirahul nanirahul 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 15, 2013

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    Id Like To Share Today I Was Tough It Helps

    Well im here for one reason thru these eyes to die why not speed up the process a little  i hurt myself for alot of reasons one being because i deserve it  i use to drink away my pain till they sent me to rehab  hell id be drunk right now if it werent for the...
    c1rca4lif3v2 c1rca4lif3v2 16-17 1 Response Aug 15, 2010

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    MAC619 MAC619 18-21, F Jan 21, 2015

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    I Deserve To Be Hurt Because I'm Stupid.

    But I'm such a pansy, I can't even cut myself because I don't like pain and I don't like blood, which is just typical of me. Everyone bullies me, they tell me I'm useless and I am, I'm not as good as people I know, I'm definitely not better. I used to think I was smart, but I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    Yes

    I hurt myself because I know I deserve it. The voices in my head, tell me that I deserve to cut myself, that I have to punish myself for being a horrible person. Its my fault that I am just how I am, and I am the one who has to pay for it.   I cut myself, I burn...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Dec 6, 2009

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    I Am Proud.

    I know i deserve to be hurt. To be in pain. Its really quite strange though, considering that a few months ago i promised myself that i wouldn't break down. I wouldn't hurt myself. That i would survive. How wrong i was, i realise now that i deserve the hurt, the pain and...
    dancetoyourownmusic dancetoyourownmusic 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2010

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    I Hate Myself

    i dont deserve to be here. i hate myself so much. i cut, i burn, just so i can get rid of the emotional pain. but i cant take it anymore.
    kahtweenuh kahtweenuh 16-17, F Jul 20, 2012

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    I Don't Know Really...

    I don't cut my wrists or anything like that. I have anorexia, well i am slowly recovering and absolutly hate life right now. I feel so fat as mum and dad are feeding me loads to make me put on weight and i look awful enough as it is. I feel disgusted when I look at my stomach so...
    xplanbx xplanbx 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 21, 2010

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    My Name Is Shaun

    i use self harm because i fell i deserve it . i used to be a cutter when i was younger but i had been able to overcome it for many of years but a few years ago i had lost my father and now i cant seem to stop the abuse. i cut until theres no room to cut , i break my fingers and...
    notsoworthy notsoworthy 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    Erasing My Life Away

    i had to dump my boyfriend for my parents because they hate how i'm older then him. And now since i had to let him go, i hurt so much, i used an eraser and burned my skin away. I couldnt feel it. I will never date again, well my parents wont let me until i graduate. my friends...
    glodens glodens 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2009

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    Never Good Enough

    I was so proud that I hadn't cut in almost a year, and then last weekend it was all too much.  I did it.  I'm a genius at hiding my cuts, so one one knows, not even my husband.  He doesn't know what to do about it anyway, so just ignores it.  I don't know what...
    HRHBastion HRHBastion 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 26, 2010

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    I get so angry with my loving hubby

    and I end up hurting him physically. Scratching, throwing things at him, trying to kick him. And when I realize what I've done I feel the need to hurt myself a thousand times worse.
    lamisspink lamisspink 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2014

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    20 Years Of Self Hate

    I have great parents who love me unconditionally - siblings too. Deep friendships... friends who I would die for (literally.... Aristotelean "perfect friends"). A good job, good co-workers.... but I HATE myself. There is nothing inside of me. The razors I use to write these...
    menschfeind menschfeind 26-30 Jul 6, 2010

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    I've stop cutting myself

    because of my best friend. He loved me but I had issues so I've hurt him badly. I didnt mean it.. and it took me a long time to tell him how I really felt. Now he hates me and don't care about what I've said anymore. I'm back to harming myself again and he made me regret my...
    yellowishbone yellowishbone 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 28, 2015

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    im a horrible person

    and i don't know why i only deserve to die and i need someone to save me
    Austin5123 Austin5123 16-17, M 6 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    Yes I Do

    I do deserve it I deserve the pain.
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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    i can't believe that

    when i breathe, there's something good inside of me. just one good thing inside of me one day you'll see scars will heal but we're meant to bleed
    Darkslendykelly Darkslendykelly 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 22, 2015

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    I Deserve To Hurt

    My nutritionist told me today that I need to stop hurting myself because others have hurt me.... that by hurting myself, I'm letting them win twice. It makes sense - I'm not sure why it's so hard for that message to truly sink in. Sometimes though, I hurt myself because I know...
    inhale123exhale inhale123exhale 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 13, 2011

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    My name is Ryan. im trans.

    and my parents don't support it. they say i don't know my own feelings. so i became depressed. thinking i dont know who i am. and that i don't deserve to be a girl. than. i started trying to stop being transgender. i began reading and listening to transphobic quotes, rants, etc...
    PantsOnHead PantsOnHead 16-17, M Sep 2, 2015

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    I Really Do

    I've done some horrible things in my life, and it is time I pay for them instead of hiding from karma.
    musared musared 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2009

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    Yea...i do...i feel like i deserve this.

    ..more pain....more loneliness...until i can't take this anymore and kill myself...that's my life plan...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 1, 2015

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    No-one Can Hurt Me More Than I Can Hurt Myself

    I deserve it, I know I do. All i've ever done is hurt other people... hurting myself stops that pain from being so extreme. I punish myself for it, I can't help hurting other people and they don't understand that, so hurting myself, cutting my skin stops this from being so...
    Raveneyes Raveneyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    SheMoansAyyoBbyBoo SheMoansAyyoBbyBoo 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    I just don't want to bother anyone.

    I don't want to upset anyone but that's all I seem to be good for. I deserve to hurt emotionally and physically. I want it, because it's what I deserve. And I don't feel bad about it, because I feel better when I hurt, but it just makes people even more upset. I don't know...
    Incogneato555 Incogneato555 18-21, F Sep 25, 2014

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    I Deserve Punishment

    I deserve punishment. My best friends death is at least 50% my fault. I need to cut for that. I lied a bunch today so I'm going to have one cut for each lie, the worse the lie, the deeper the cut. I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to cut and punish myself. I deserve it for...
    MissingIdentidy MissingIdentidy 26-30, F May 12, 2013

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    Hey...don't ignore this,

    just give me a chance to explain Don't grab your "tools" whenever you feel bad.Remind yourself what will happen if you give up.How are you going to deal with it and how are you going to feel?Then refocus your goals,is giving up that easy?The relief that comes from self-harming...
    ghostdolly ghostdolly 13-15, F Jan 24

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    I Hurt Myself Because I'm Deserve It

    I'm such a freaking selfish b*tch. I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked someone else. Even if I cut myself and burn it many times but it doesn't compare to the pain of the one I used to loved have now. I'm felt disgusting at myself...
    marry100 marry100 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I've not had good luck with this. my picker is broken I guess. I've gotten to where I trust no one, which is sad, cuz I would love to have a real friend that cares as much about me...
    dragoneyes35 dragoneyes35 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I'll try to keep this short: I hate everything. I am 35, no talents, scary UGLY, and fat. Everyone hates me also. This isn't a feeling. I'm not a good person to be around. I'm...
    YAGWIT YAGWIT 26-30 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Today marks 8 years since you passed grams. I'm trying to be strong and all for you right now but I can't. I didn't know that it would hurt so badly right now that the tears are...
    caringsisterof11siblings caringsisterof11siblings 18-21, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    my boyfriend broke up with me last month but still wanted to stay friends cause said he likes me and does not wana ruin the friendship we did not talk for a month cause both needed...
    alinaE alinaE 18-21, F 4 hrs ago

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    We all are lonely. we are ship which is slightly sinking.. we want to get along together we want to love each other but we donno how to be friends with luck of communication...
    blackandwhiteperpule blackandwhiteperpule 31-35, F 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    We all know, or have known someone who will go about their life without the thought of others, and if it is for someone else than usually it is only for the purpose of getting...
    Bluetoxicity Bluetoxicity 18-21, F 18 hrs ago

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    but i always do. somehow i manage to overwhelm and crowd people. ones i care about suffer the most. all i can say is there is one common thread in all the lives ive touched...
    ArnoldJRimmer ArnoldJRimmer 46-50, M 18 hrs ago

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    i do it all the time just did it yesterday it felt so good
    jamal1986 jamal1986 26-30, M 19 hrs ago

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    I Finally Made It Too 19 Years Old .. The Age I Told Myself I Can Finally Get The Ball Rolling For My Life ... But I Feel Like A Failure , High School Was Hard ( Really Hard ) So I...
    SunnyMuffinsJr SunnyMuffinsJr 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    It is one of these days where I am feeling incredibly low, powerless and sad. Where I am hurting, not because of something specific or new, but hurting because of every person i...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Maybe you should show more respect to older people, but some older don't deserve your respect. If there is an older person with a ****** personality and are let's say your rapist...
    darkspiritwolf darkspiritwolf 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I've been called cute before by several people (I'm a guy lol) and I don't see it. maybe it's because my self esteem was brought down when I was 7 because u was overweight. I have...
    Fainmail67 Fainmail67 13-15, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I feel that most people in my life are only there due to convenience. I don't feel any "bond" or connection with even my closest friends and family anymore. I know it's my fault...
    Sparklyblueunicorns Sparklyblueunicorns 22-25, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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