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I Hurt Myself Because I Deserve It

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 265 People

    I Deserve Punishment

    I deserve punishment. My best friends death is at least 50% my fault. I need to cut for that. I lied a bunch today so I'm going to have one cut for each lie, the worse the lie, the deeper the cut. I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to cut and punish myself. I deserve it for...
    MissingIdentidy MissingIdentidy 26-30, F May 12, 2013

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    im a horrible person

    and i don't know why i only deserve to die and i need someone to save me
    Austin5123 Austin5123 16-17, M 6 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    I Hurt Myself Because I'm Deserve It

    I'm such a freaking selfish b*tch. I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked someone else. Even if I cut myself and burn it many times but it doesn't compare to the pain of the one I used to loved have now. I'm felt disgusting at myself...
    marry100 marry100 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2013

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    I Don't Know Really...

    I don't cut my wrists or anything like that. I have anorexia, well i am slowly recovering and absolutly hate life right now. I feel so fat as mum and dad are feeding me loads to make me put on weight and i look awful enough as it is. I feel disgusted when I look at my stomach so...
    xplanbx xplanbx 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 21, 2010

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    20 Years Of Self Hate

    I have great parents who love me unconditionally - siblings too. Deep friendships... friends who I would die for (literally.... Aristotelean "perfect friends"). A good job, good co-workers.... but I HATE myself. There is nothing inside of me. The razors I use to write these...
    menschfeind menschfeind 26-30 Jul 6, 2010

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    Id Like To Share Today I Was Tough It Helps

    Well im here for one reason thru these eyes to die why not speed up the process a little  i hurt myself for alot of reasons one being because i deserve it  i use to drink away my pain till they sent me to rehab  hell id be drunk right now if it werent for the...
    c1rca4lif3v2 c1rca4lif3v2 16-17 1 Response Aug 15, 2010

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    I cut myself because I am fat.

    I started because I'm overweight, and I hate my body. I hate myself for being weak. I looked at pictures of myself four years ago, and though I was fat then, I'm even fatter now. My body is disgusting, so I cut myself on my stomach-- because that's where I deserve it. I don't...
    nvmindme nvmindme 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12, 2014

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    How To Forget The Person You Love Most

    im rahul, of 17 years of age. I had a love at first site with my college mate. It takes 1year to accept my love from the one who i propose. it was very fine nd i feel very happy for 2,3 months. Wt happin i dont know after 3 months the girl staris avoidiong me. im very un happy...
    nanirahul nanirahul 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 15, 2013

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    I Deserve To Hurt

    My nutritionist told me today that I need to stop hurting myself because others have hurt me.... that by hurting myself, I'm letting them win twice. It makes sense - I'm not sure why it's so hard for that message to truly sink in. Sometimes though, I hurt myself because I know...
    inhale123exhale inhale123exhale 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 13, 2011

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    This

    Yeah, this ugly piece of **** here, THIS is a work of art. Just not the kind of art you're going to see in a gallery any time soon, nor the sort of thing anyone really wants to spend their time looking at, but hey a canvas DESERVES paint, right? That is what it was built for...
    newmurderer newmurderer 66-70 2 Responses Jun 13, 2010

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    Yes I Do

    I do deserve it I deserve the pain.
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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    I Shall Not Break The Rules

    I burn, cut, and brand myself. Why? Well my husband tells me that I deserve it and I know I do so when I feel that he didnt punish me enough I punish myself. "I deserve to hurt because I am worthless and I am a dog. Dogs have no rights, I have no rights. I am scum and nothing...
    bitchbynature0 bitchbynature0 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2012

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    I just don't want to bother anyone.

    I don't want to upset anyone but that's all I seem to be good for. I deserve to hurt emotionally and physically. I want it, because it's what I deserve. And I don't feel bad about it, because I feel better when I hurt, but it just makes people even more upset. I don't know...
    Incogneato555 Incogneato555 18-21, F Sep 25, 2014

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    I Deserve To Be Hurt Because I'm Stupid.

    But I'm such a pansy, I can't even cut myself because I don't like pain and I don't like blood, which is just typical of me. Everyone bullies me, they tell me I'm useless and I am, I'm not as good as people I know, I'm definitely not better. I used to think I was smart, but I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    Yes

    I hurt myself because I know I deserve it. The voices in my head, tell me that I deserve to cut myself, that I have to punish myself for being a horrible person. Its my fault that I am just how I am, and I am the one who has to pay for it.   I cut myself, I burn...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 6, 2009

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    No-one Can Hurt Me More Than I Can Hurt Myself

    I deserve it, I know I do. All i've ever done is hurt other people... hurting myself stops that pain from being so extreme. I punish myself for it, I can't help hurting other people and they don't understand that, so hurting myself, cutting my skin stops this from being so...
    Raveneyes Raveneyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    I Am Proud.

    I know i deserve to be hurt. To be in pain. Its really quite strange though, considering that a few months ago i promised myself that i wouldn't break down. I wouldn't hurt myself. That i would survive. How wrong i was, i realise now that i deserve the hurt, the pain and...
    dancetoyourownmusic dancetoyourownmusic 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 18, 2010

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    My Name Is Shaun

    i use self harm because i fell i deserve it . i used to be a cutter when i was younger but i had been able to overcome it for many of years but a few years ago i had lost my father and now i cant seem to stop the abuse. i cut until theres no room to cut , i break my fingers and...
    notsoworthy notsoworthy 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 17, 2013

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    I Really Do

    I've done some horrible things in my life, and it is time I pay for them instead of hiding from karma.
    musared musared 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2009

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    I get so angry with my loving hubby

    and I end up hurting him physically. Scratching, throwing things at him, trying to kick him. And when I realize what I've done I feel the need to hurt myself a thousand times worse.
    lamisspink lamisspink 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 3, 2014

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    Never Good Enough

    I was so proud that I hadn't cut in almost a year, and then last weekend it was all too much.  I did it.  I'm a genius at hiding my cuts, so one one knows, not even my husband.  He doesn't know what to do about it anyway, so just ignores it.  I don't know what...
    HRHBastion HRHBastion 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 26, 2010

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    Yea...i do...i feel like i deserve this.

    ..more pain....more loneliness...until i can't take this anymore and kill myself...that's my life plan...
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    MAC619 MAC619 18-21, F Jan 21

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    FadingStarrr FadingStarrr 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    Erasing My Life Away

    i had to dump my boyfriend for my parents because they hate how i'm older then him. And now since i had to let him go, i hurt so much, i used an eraser and burned my skin away. I couldnt feel it. I will never date again, well my parents wont let me until i graduate. my friends...
    glodens glodens 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2009

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    I Hate Myself

    i dont deserve to be here. i hate myself so much. i cut, i burn, just so i can get rid of the emotional pain. but i cant take it anymore.
    kahtweenuh kahtweenuh 16-17, F Jul 20, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I don't hurt myself. However, I have felt like doing so. The only time I feel like hurting myself is when I am in a large amount of emotional pain. Sometimes hurting on the outside...
    unreciprocated unreciprocated 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    I know this sounds really stupid, but I have terrible issues dealing with guilt, and there have been so many times when I lay face down under the covers in my bed and think about...
    TheEnduringSunrise TheEnduringSunrise 18-21, F Apr 24

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    I've been doing it for 4 years.. I just relapsed this month and I was so close to 6 months. I stopped but the urge to do it is so damn strong. I was so close to 6 months but I...
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 28

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    April 28, 2014, my father found out about my planned suicide attempt. He has "helped" me (yelled at me, told me I'm overreacting, says there's nothing to be sad about, etc.) for...
    MadiofAsgard MadiofAsgard 16-17, F 6 Responses Apr 28

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    How bout I go crawl under a rock and die because every time I think I've found someone who cares for me they turn out to just use me and as soon as they're done with me I don't get...
    polarbearlove polarbearlove 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I relapsed, again. From 11 back down to 0.
    MagicEyes95 MagicEyes95 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27

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    It's been 5 months, but the urge never goes away.... How do you distract yourself??
    SimplyEm SimplyEm 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 27

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    I hide away in my shower at home, my parents always yell at me and I'm tired of it. right now I'm in the shower its where I go when I need support on ep, can anyone help?
    Lonewalker1432 Lonewalker1432 13-15, M 4 Responses Apr 27

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    Does anyone have any games or questions or anything distracting?
    KayandtheCelloCats KayandtheCelloCats 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    words can never describe how much i hate myself. i don't blame anyone for not caring about me and no wonder why I always end up alone . how they shut me out and label me...
    lonesomedove80 lonesomedove80 31-35, F 2 Responses May 10

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    Be a monster. Hurt people I love. Be cruel to women. Degenerate love. Hurt people to toughen them up. Emotionally abuse someone. Drink too much. I used to be a sensitive guy...
    AlricVirgil AlricVirgil 26-30, M 2 Responses Apr 25

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    I've always hurt myself trying to make everyone else happy. I know this time I will be happy. I'm making my dreams come true. Will it be selfish of me to move away when my...
    Amaelin Amaelin 26-30 1 Response May 4

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    i wish people would see how much there words and actions hurt people... because the actions of the most beloved person in my life (my now ex girlfriend) have absolutely destroy me...
    ECrierie ECrierie 16-17, M 4 days ago

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    It is such a horrible feeling of keeping a secret from your family and friends and bottling up, not sure how to slip it into a normal conversation and not ruin everyone's mood by...
    deathnotefreak deathnotefreak 18-21, F 1 Response May 3

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    I have since I was in 6th grade. I was starting to really take in the fact that I was adopted. I didn't understand at the time it was for the best. I've been pushed and pulled in...
    BornBroken BornBroken 16-17, F Apr 27

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    i cut myself because: - i have problems -none is there for me -everyone is hurting me - i cant trust anymore - i've had enough of everything
    zaynabo zaynabo 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    My friends don't really know the difference between me and them.. When they're hurt, they talk.. When I'm hurt, I hurt myself to the breaking point. Until I'm satisfied with the...
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F Apr 28

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    YOUR LIFE IS YOURS TO DESTROY OR BUILD! The truthiest of all the truths is that you're the only person who has to live with yourself. It's all up to you to make yourself feel good...
    BetterWorldd BetterWorldd 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 24

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