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I Hurt Myself Because I Deserve It

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 194 People

    Never Good Enough - I was so proud that I hadn't cut in almost a year, and then last weekend it was all too much.  I did it.  I'm a genius at hiding my cuts, so one one...
    HRHBastion HRHBastion 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 26, 2010

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    I Shall Not Break The Rules - I burn, cut, and brand myself. Why? Well my husband tells me that I deserve it and I know I do so when I feel that he didnt punish me enough I punish...
    bitchbynature0 bitchbynature0 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2012

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    Yes - I hurt myself because I know I deserve it. The voices in my head, tell me that I deserve to cut myself, that I have to punish myself for being a horrible person. Its my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Dec 6, 2009

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    This - Yeah, this ugly piece of **** here, THIS is a work of art. Just not the kind of art you're going to see in a gallery any time soon, nor the sort of thing anyone really...
    newmurderer newmurderer 70+ 2 Responses Jun 13, 2010

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    I Deserve To Be Hurt Because I'm Stupid. - But I'm such a pansy, I can't even cut myself because I don't like pain and I don't like blood, which is just typical of me. Everyone...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 28, 2012

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    No-one Can Hurt Me More Than I Can Hurt Myself - I deserve it, I know I do. All i've ever done is hurt other people... hurting myself stops that pain from being so extreme. I...
    Raveneyes Raveneyes 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    I Really Do - I've done some horrible things in my life, and it is time I pay for them instead of hiding from karma.
    musared musared 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2009

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    My Name Is Shaun - i use self harm because i fell i deserve it . i used to be a cutter when i was younger but i had been able to overcome it for many of years but a few years ago i...
    notsoworthy notsoworthy 22-25, M Jul 17, 2013

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    I Hurt Myself Because I'm Deserve It - I'm such a freaking selfish b*tch. I broke up with my boyfriend because I liked someone else. Even if I cut myself and burn it many times but...
    marry100 marry100 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 7, 2013

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    I Hate Myself - i dont deserve to be here. i hate myself so much. i cut, i burn, just so i can get rid of the emotional pain. but i cant take it anymore.
    kahtweenuh kahtweenuh 16-17, F Jul 20, 2012

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    Erasing My Life Away - i had to dump my boyfriend for my parents because they hate how i'm older then him. And now since i had to let him go, i hurt so much, i used an eraser and...
    glodens glodens 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2009

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    Id Like To Share Today I Was Tough It Helps - Well im here for one reason thru these eyes to die why not speed up the process a little  i hurt myself for alot of reasons one...
    c1rca4lif3v2 c1rca4lif3v2 16-17 1 Response Aug 15, 2010

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    I cut myself because I am fat. I started because I'm overweight, and I hate my body. I hate myself for being weak. I looked at pictures of myself four years ago, and though I was...
    nvmindme nvmindme 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    How To Forget The Person You Love Most - im rahul, of 17 years of age. I had a love at first site with my college mate. It takes 1year to accept my love from the one who i propose...
    nanirahul nanirahul 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 15, 2013

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    im a horrible person and i don't know why i only deserve to die and i need someone to save me
    Austin5123 Austin5123 13-15, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I Deserve It - I deserve the pain that I once inflicted upon my peers. Obnoxious as I am and a child of God. I deserve retribution for my sins.
    Razielll Razielll 18-21, M Mar 31, 2013

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    I get so angry with my loving hubby and I end up hurting him physically. Scratching, throwing things at him, trying to kick him. And when I realize what I've done I feel the need...
    lamisspink lamisspink 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 3

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    I Deserve Punishment - I deserve punishment. My best friends death is at least 50% my fault. I need to cut for that. I lied a bunch today so I'm going to have one cut for each lie...
    MissingIdentidy MissingIdentidy 22-25, F May 12, 2013

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    I Deserve To Hurt - My nutritionist told me today that I need to stop hurting myself because others have hurt me.... that by hurting myself, I'm letting them win twice. It makes...
    inhale123exhale inhale123exhale 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 13, 2011

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    Yes I Do - I do deserve it I deserve the pain.
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I'm constantly hurting emotionally... I used to self harm.. it helped deal with all the problems for a while.. for a while, I was in control of my problems.. no one could hurt me...
    ForeverSilenced1126 ForeverSilenced1126 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    i don't know what's happening to me:( I always please ppl even it hurts me :(( and pretend that I'm ok and put a fake smile on my face like there's nothing and i enjoy it :( I...
    questioner16 questioner16 13-15, F Apr 6

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    I lost my best friend and idk what to do! She was everything i needed. And now she's gone. Last night i cut myself because i know i probably wont get her back. I miss her so much...
    alexislucash alexislucash 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    It's been over half a year since I cut myself for the first time. I got home from school and had been stressed and as they say "when it rains, it's pouring". I got inside my...
    iSabishii iSabishii 18-21, F Mar 24

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    I hurt my hand. I jerked it back then it made pop sound and felt weird now it's like a pinching pain from the nuckle of my pinky to my wrist and I can't straighten it. No...
    spidygirl96 spidygirl96 18-21, F Apr 5

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    I cut myself today because of what happened with my brother and the 2nd oldest boy in our family found out and he talked to me but I still have a very strong urge to cut myself and...
    Dancelover279 Dancelover279 13-15, F Mar 24

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    I cut myself, I'm so depressed and angry. I'm only 13 but I have recently stated cutting, I use "being tired" as an excuses for being depressed. I am sleep deprived though, but...
    purgahja purgahja 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 3

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    yesterday I couldn't help myself, I was just so down and I had no idea what about. I needed to feel my own body again I guess. everyday I feel so numb to the world around me.
    thelostgirl25 thelostgirl25 22-25, F Mar 22

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    I used to cut then I stopped since my parents found out and they said if they saw another cut they would take me to a hospital so I was clean for 3 months.But I just cut myself...
    awkwardunicorn awkwardunicorn 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    I think I started cutting - just recently - to remind myself I could still feel something, anything; even physical pain gets me out of my head for a while. It's strange how...
    LiquidThinking LiquidThinking 41-45, M Apr 1

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    I cut myself brava use of depression and all the bad thighs that are happening to me
    Nyamal Nyamal 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    A provocative sickness flows Through my veins Trying to coax my demons out Until I relapse and succumb Back into my old ways
    KristinaBeena KristinaBeena 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    I feel like relapsing again. And it sucks. I'm not sure what to do.
    Silentscreamsx3 Silentscreamsx3 16-17, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Every time you cut yourself take a petal off a flower, eventually you'll realize you're killing something beautiful... If I can quit anybody can. Anybody feel free to message me...
    LivviyLove LivviyLove 16-17, F Mar 23

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    I was 11 when I first started cutting. Thats when the bullying started. I moved to a new neighborhood. I had no friends. No one wanted me around. I was like a disgusted disease. I...
    peacefullover peacefullover 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    Tonight was the first night. I've just been feeling so down recently. Like no one cares for me. And I just needed to know that I was awake. And that this wasn't just a dream. That...
    ThePainWithin ThePainWithin 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 31

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    I get big blades and cut deep as I can I don't stop till I see blood.....a lot of blood no one knows my pain
    jkbabejolly jkbabejolly 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 1

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    My best friend and boyfriend told my mum and dad that something was up, now I have to go and tell them everything. I don't know what to say. I said I would do it before but I kept...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    How do you persuade people that it isn't anything they have done or anything that is wrong with your life? I have been depressed for as long as I can remember and now my parents...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I could write a 30,000 word prose of why I am depressed and why life has led me to the way I feel right now. But none of that really matters. It doesn't matter what life...
    Isabel13 Isabel13 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 22

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    I hate myself, but cutting never even makes me feel better. I only want to do it more and harder once I start. It never satisfies me. I hate myself so much and nothing helps. I...
    mysteryhatcat mysteryhatcat 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    I don't know what it is about me, but people just institutionally turn against me for reasons I never find out, if the person ever actually knows why they hate me. Every time. I...
    faeriefate faeriefate 18-21 Mar 23

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    When im drunk and out with friends I totally let go and dont care what I look like but the next day I hate myself! Im so ashamed of the way I behaved I want to hurt myself. I feel...
    misindecisive misindecisive 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    I believe this is the major reasoning for all that holds me back from many things in my life. I allow myself to only get so close. I have deep rooted fears of being hurt again. Not...
    Jerseygirl72 Jerseygirl72 41-45 Mar 23

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    It's Been Months… And Still No Change.. I Still Love Her.. I Still Want To Be With Her.. I Don't Feel Age Plays A Part In This Situation.. I Feel That It's Just The Fact That I...
    ScaredTeenager ScaredTeenager 18-21, F Mar 20

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    I find it incredibly difficult to open up to people, especially lately because everyone I've ever been close to has left. Now I just keep the majority of my thoughts and feelings...
    hollylynn91 hollylynn91 22-25, F Mar 26

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    I'm in high school and I guess I've been "depressed" since freshman year... had a few therapists but I never told them how I felt about myself, just the situation around me. I...
    adams0 adams0 16-17, F Mar 24

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    I'm so tired of everything. I've got no one but my daughter. I've been left again with nothing. More lies. More betrayal. More broken promises. I can't take it anymore. I'm tired...
    abbylynn98 abbylynn98 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    Ive lost all my friends. My boyfriend doesnt want to hangout with me anymore, hes only staying with me because hes afraid ill kill myself. when i tried to leave him he called me...
    ineeedhelp ineeedhelp 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    I hate that I have so many males to talk to. I want a few females to talk to also. But I hate that every person I've talked to has talked to me about sex at least once. I don't...
    PandaHaven PandaHaven 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 9

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    Just had to tell my 14 ur old son That I don'tove his dad anymore and that's why I am leaving for a couple of days. I hurt more for him than myself because I have been there.
    Hope70 Hope70 41-45, F 1 Response 10 hrs ago

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    i just found out today that my little cousin is pregnant with a guys baby that has had previous problems with me... she didnt even tell me she was pregnant i had to find it out...
    ChrisstyVey ChrisstyVey 13-15, M Mar 20