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I Hurt Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 314 People

    It's always while crying about being ugly,

    dumb, lonely, and without friends when I need something to clear my head again, find back to reality. I use a needle or a pair if scissors to scratch myself, and it is relieving to let the tears fall and the pain make the fog in my head disappear, clear and sharp. I know it is...
    pianobookme pianobookme 13-15, F Feb 21

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    It's been a while since I last posted in here,

    things have changed. My H now knows that I have had an affair this year, he knows it was with an ex who lives nowhere near here. I know I've hurt him very badly. The affair is most definitely over, during the time we spent together & since it ended I have got to know my OM...
    yespleaseMrDarcy yespleaseMrDarcy 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 7, 2013

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    It's Good For Me

    Here I go again, hurting myself. To me though, it's not pain. It's release. From all the anxiety and stress that has built up, cutting feels great. The longest I went without cutting is two weeks. So great. Then, all fell down. There is only One person that knows I cut, but he...
    Hopeless0Nerd Hopeless0Nerd 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 29, 2010

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    Just To Get It Out

    You can look at my confessions for more background on this story. I like girls and I like boys. There I said it. No hate comments please. I haven't gotten on this website in a while but recently I just go tback on cus I need help. There is a hurt in my chest where my heart is. I...
    homeygirl homeygirl 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 30, 2013

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    Really Wanna Give Up

    I'm really close to giving up and just saying screw everything. Nothing seems to go right anymore. Nothing seems worth it right now. And I don't think anybody understands where I'm coming from
    animalwatcher22 animalwatcher22 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2013

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    What Went Wrong?

    This is the first time I've shared anything on this website so forgive me if it comes out really crappy...... My life is..................... good. My family cares about me. I have friends that are there for me. My family is middle class, so we're not stuck-up but we're not...
    homeygirl homeygirl 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    Scratching

    I feel very bad that I hurt myself. I still couldn't believe that I have reached such a stage. I have only started hurting myself this year. It's only when I couldn't bear the pain inside me that I turn to making really red scratches on my left wrist. It dulls the emotional pain...
    thelonewood thelonewood 26-30 2 Responses Nov 2, 2013

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    I Both Want To And Dont Want To Quit It

    I started hurting myself several years ago, when I was 14. I'd been going through a period of stress, depression and anger at everyone and everything, but mostly myself. I'd lost my precious pet birds, whom I strangely trusted more than my very own parents, because my father...
    DarkShadowfax DarkShadowfax 18-21, F Feb 5, 2010

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    I Can't Sleep.

    Curled up. Trying not to wake my roommate. But I'm breaking. Shaking. It's too much. I want to scream. Or run away. Drowning, lungs hindered by attempts to stifle the cloudburst. Like the ocean is in my throat. Wrapped around my tongue. Mind is foggy. And my spine is...
    mirrorscantlie mirrorscantlie 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 5, 2012

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    Urges

    I get the urges to self harm almost constantly now. They get so strong sometimes I have to give in to them after fighting them for so long. They just seem to get stronger and stronger and it doesn't make sense. I wish something in my life would make sense. I have almost no...
    animalwatcher22 animalwatcher22 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2013

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    Back To Day.....0?

    Here I am again.... Back to day zero! Seems like I just can't do it.... Seems like I will never be able to do this..... Standing alone, fighting alone, failing....Alone....
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 7, 2010

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    I hurt my hand. I jerked it back then it made

    pop sound and felt weird now it's like a pinching pain from the nuckle of my pinky to my wrist and I can't straighten it. No discoloration though and it doesn't look but maybe a little swollen? Any ideas?
    spidygirl96 spidygirl96 18-21, F Apr 5

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    Cuts

    I never thought I'd be the one to hurt myself like this. Now it's almost an addiction. Like I have to take that blade and slide it across my skin multiple times. Watch the blood come out, like you're releasing all of the demons out of your soul. Feeling that physical pain instead...
    Emmawendy Emmawendy 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 2, 2013

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    I Am The Victim And The Abuser.

    I have realized that there are more ways you can hurt yourself other than cutting.... Sometimes I am so angry with myself , so abusive and horrible that it doesnt seem like me. I feel crazy sometimes. Its strange I am such a nice person, very sweet and gentle, and accepting of...
    innerself000 innerself000 18-21 5 Responses Jun 28, 2013

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    Hurting

    Hi,  I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia.  I have been known to hurt my self in anger at people or at myself and to stop the voices that I hear.  I am getting help and learning to stop this.  But I have done this for years.  I hit myself and bite my hands.  I also pull...
    insanepoet84 insanepoet84 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 17, 2012

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    Why Am I Honest

    I hate admitting that I hurt myself. i like to keep it secret because I feel like pain is a gift that I can give myself. Its mine and no one can take that from me. I can starve myself untill my stomach hurts, hold my breath to feel the pain, shower in water thats hot so...
    sindayla sindayla 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 24, 2009

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    Pain For Compensation

    The sight of blood use to make me cringe, until i saw my own. On many occasions i would get so mad at myself, for various reasons and take a knife to my arm. The cuts started out small and harmless...but it felt so good that i needed more. its now effecting many aspects of my...
    kaylen94 kaylen94 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2011

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    Step One, Say No

    So last night I told myself no matter what I was not going to take a pill. My boyfriend and i got into another one of our fights and I almost ODd, I wanted to die so badly. As I held the two pills in my hand I cried my eyes out until I threw up, after that I calmed down a bit...
    YoucancallmeJuliet YoucancallmeJuliet 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 9, 2012

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    Food

    I have a hard time helping myself. I can't seem to stop hurting myself, but I don't know why. I don't cut myself, and I don't **** myself up with alcohol or anything deemed "serious", but I still hurt myself. I take out my unhappiness on myself. I can't stop...
    cbwb cbwb 22-25 Sep 11, 2009

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    And I Was Doing So Well..

    I went two months without hurting myself. I had been cutting since I was 11 now I'm 18. Last night I realized that I haven't felt alive since I stopped cutting. I was a zombie. I couldn't smile if I tried, I couldn't cry. I was numb. Releasing the pain was the only way to be...
    6Miss6Mae6 6Miss6Mae6 18-21 6 Responses Aug 29, 2010

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    It Was Really Weird...

    Cuz I did it for the first time last night. I was on the phone with my bf and I hurt his feelings really bad... I was so ashamed of myself and I still am. I have a tendancy to mentally beat myself up for everything I do wrong... and since it was the first time I...
    Azurehearts Azurehearts 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 9, 2009

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    I Know Its Not Fair, I Know Its Not Good

    When ever something doesnt go my way i either starve myself, down some pills or both.
    YoucancallmeJuliet YoucancallmeJuliet 26-30, F Dec 21, 2011

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    A Hammer

    for the past four years i have used a hammer to hit myself. i have caused enough damage to my knee that i have had numerous mri's and gone to physical therapy. can people really not figure out what happened? i think it is easy, but whatever. i have tried cutting, but hitting...
    iamfine iamfine 22-25 6 Responses Aug 11, 2009

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    Left Hand Booooo

    yesterday i woke up with a little pain on my left hand, but today it aches!! it hurts soo much i cant make a fist, omgg its in pain i Dont know why though, i slept well but my hand hurts lol..and i dont do anything out of the ORDINARY while i sleep so yeah Argh!! PAIN!
    SourLove SourLove 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29, 2007

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    Yeah, Today...

    So, I was so angry and feeling sad...that I had to let it out, I didn't cry but chose to make a mark on my forearm. I used my nails, since I have sharp nails...I dug into my skin and ran it across...up to 2 and a half inches long...I didn't want it to remain a scar, but I left it...
    PunizhedZoul PunizhedZoul 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2011

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    Purification Through Pain

    Purify : to be free from guilt or evil. First, try to understand what I say and feel. Do not try to "correct" me or "save" me. If you can't understand what I feel, how can you help me. If you understand, then there is no need to help me. When I was in High School, I was a...
    worknplayhard13 worknplayhard13 36-40, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2012

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    Useless

    Whenever I was blamed for no reason, I bit my hand really hard or punch a wall. Next time, I'll think a mirror would be a better option. I've tried using the knife but I was so scared to hurt myself. I end up not using it and just punch more wall. I also feel like crying but I...
    Taskete Taskete 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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    All the Time

    Every day i hurt myself in some way. I guess it may be unintentional. I just do stupid things that i know will hurt. For example i was just using these teeth cleaning pics. I kept on using it even though it hurt. i just had to keep stabbing at my gums. I could not stop until it...
    Tacit Tacit 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 4, 2008

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    Today...i Did It...again

    i cant help it i injoy the felling i dont do it in anger..well no often only sometimes in selfanger...or hate...but most of the tiem cus of pleshur in seeing blood..or the pain...even the scars ,scaps or cuts what they look like...today i cut into bot sides of my mouth and acrost...
    Ingramlea Ingramlea 13-15, M 1 Response Nov 12, 2012

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    Don't Ever Start Self Harming.

    I self harm. I started scratching when I got upset one day, and I started cutting deeper and deeper the more upset I got. I now leave scars on my arms and I think I'm addicted. It makes me feel better, which is why I do it, but I know I should stop. It's ridiculous. I actually...
    Christineb90 Christineb90 13-15, F Nov 13, 2011

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    Hurting Myself

    I haven't been cutting for long. Just a few months... maybe four? But today I told someone for the first time. She's been bugging me since Saturday because I skipped out on the dance and called her to asks where she was. She didn't answer, but when she called back I was already...
    whynotxx whynotxx 13-15, F 4 Responses Oct 23, 2012

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    A provocative sickness flows Through my

    veins Trying to coax my demons out Until I relapse and succumb Back into my old ways
    KristinaBeena KristinaBeena 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    dear future cutter:

    This is a letter/poem that I found on the internet one day. I myself can relate to this letter & hope that it is not to late for many of you... "WARNING - Before you make that first cut remember: You will enjoy this. You will find the blood and pain release...
    Bellz182 Bellz182 22-25, F 7 Responses Nov 11, 2009

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    Bang, Bang

    I have never been into seeing my own blood, but I do try to control the pain of Bipolar with physical pain. In high school I used the cold of winter to hurt myself. I got frost bite more than once. I have done other things too, but now it is all about head banging. I know I have...
    obleena1963 obleena1963 46-50, F Nov 2, 2010

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    Physical Pain To Replace The Mental Pain

    i don't have anything to do it with right now. my siblings are down stairs my parents are upstairs and there's nothing in the basement for me ... i have no more pills and losing everything slowly. what can i do now.i can't help think i deserve it. its the only way to do things...
    Anicia47 Anicia47 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 18, 2012

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    A Belt

    My mother yells a lot. Sometimes I wonder if she realizes what she is yelling. She'll call me stupid and useless when she's angry and I just sit there with a blank expression. I call it freeze mode: the moments when I'm so consumed with emotion and thought that I can't move. I'm...
    16Sins 16Sins 16-17, F Jun 26, 2013

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    7 Years And Counting.

    I've been a victim of self-harm for a little over 7 years. The reason I say "victim", is because I can't stop. I've done damage to my body in a countless array of ways-- from cutting (more like gashing), to burning myself with cigarettes, to punching myself in the face and...
    NocturneCSharp NocturneCSharp 18-21 2 Responses Dec 14, 2011

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    I Want Attention Now

    I get the urges to cut myself and end up seriously messing up my arm. But just resently I got the thought that I probably do it for attention, which I know is the stupidest ******* thing ever. And worst of all I don’t any attention at all. But, I still can't stop, because I...
    EverLoner EverLoner 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 8, 2011

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    Hurt Myself.... Sorta.

    I only hurt myself sorta, mostly because i know i don't like to do permanent damage to myself. Like when i get angry i might hammer my fist into a closet door or kick over a trashcan, bang my head against a door or a wall or something like that. For the most part when i hurt...
    Retrobeat Retrobeat 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 16, 2009

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    Smart Enough To Be Dangerous

    I lost my marriage a little bit ago. My family, Lord love them, started smothering me emotionally. I wanted to feel pain, I wanted to punish myself for being a loser who couldn't even keep his marriage together. Every time I'd go to do something, there was my family. But I don't...
    wilstanton wilstanton 36-40, M Sep 6, 2013

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    Gain

    No pain no gain after all. It is common for a fighter to suffer in order to get stronger.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Jan 8, 2010

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    Atonement . . .

    When you make amends there are easy times. Times where you know you have wronged someone. Whether or not you did it on purpose does not matter. I have been hiding behind the fact I did something good for her, but it pushed her to hate me. All she wanted was to love . . . and...
    worknplayhard13 worknplayhard13 36-40, M Nov 9, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    i don't know what's happening to me:( I always please ppl even it hurts me :(( and pretend that I'm ok and put a fake smile on my face like there's nothing and i enjoy it :( I...
    questioner16 questioner16 13-15, F Apr 6

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    I'm constantly hurting emotionally... I used to self harm.. it helped deal with all the problems for a while.. for a while, I was in control of my problems.. no one could hurt me...
    ForeverSilenced1126 ForeverSilenced1126 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    It's been over half a year since I cut myself for the first time. I got home from school and had been stressed and as they say "when it rains, it's pouring". I got inside my...
    iSabishii iSabishii 18-21, F Mar 24

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    I lost my best friend and idk what to do! She was everything i needed. And now she's gone. Last night i cut myself because i know i probably wont get her back. I miss her so much...
    alexislucash alexislucash 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I feel like relapsing again. And it sucks. I'm not sure what to do.
    Silentscreamsx3 Silentscreamsx3 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    im a horrible person and i don't know why i only deserve to die and i need someone to save me
    Austin5123 Austin5123 13-15, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I don't know what it is about me, but people just institutionally turn against me for reasons I never find out, if the person ever actually knows why they hate me. Every time. I...
    faeriefate faeriefate 18-21 Mar 23

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    When I make a mistake, I hate myself, I get angry with myself & I want to hurt myself & punish myself!!! I feel worthless. I suffer from depression & social anxiety. I mentally...
    l2thedoublej l2thedoublej 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 24

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    I could write a 30,000 word prose of why I am depressed and why life has led me to the way I feel right now. But none of that really matters. It doesn't matter what life...
    Isabel13 Isabel13 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 22

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    I hate myself, but cutting never even makes me feel better. I only want to do it more and harder once I start. It never satisfies me. I hate myself so much and nothing helps. I...
    mysteryhatcat mysteryhatcat 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    Why does everything always have to be so hard? But I guess that's life... I went from one addiction to the other. From self-harming to drugs and then back to self-harming myself...
    MonjaVictor MonjaVictor 16-17, F Apr 1

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    Any one has a razor .i really need to cut myself and see my blood . I am sick of always hurting myself from inside if I can't stop myself from inside I will do it on the outside.
    Lonelyvamp2 Lonelyvamp2 13-15, F Apr 4

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    Everyday. Every second. Every millisecond. I'll never stop improving myself. I refuse to fall back into an ocean of dark actions. :) I refuse to hurt myself.
    ForgiveForgetLetitGo ForgiveForgetLetitGo 13-15, F Mar 22