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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 43 People

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    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 31, 2009

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    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2013

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    Sometimes, when I can't sleep,

    I think of really sad scenarios that hurt me so much emotionally that I cry, because I want to prepare myself for the worse and so I will be able to be calm when I want to cry in public. But sometimes, I just think of me dying not because I want to prepare myself, because it...
    solisluna solisluna 16-17, F Aug 3, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    Today I have the car to myself, which means I am going to go out and do something to make myself happy. I am going to use this beautiful day to go out and visit some history near...
    Anonymouscoast Anonymouscoast 22-25 1 Response Mar 7

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    Sometimes, when I know I've eaten too much, I make myself sick. I'm worried that I will end up making this into a habit. I just hate the feeling of being full. Food scares me...
    Ambernonymous Ambernonymous 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    My ex has been liking my Facebook statuses quite a lot recently. 2 days ago he liked a photo I took of myself and yesterday he liked a status where I said I was out on the town...
    batjokes batjokes 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    Sometimes this place Makes me sick...
    Mysorrow Mysorrow 18-21, M Mar 5

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    If people paid attention they'd know how funny I am. But Billy's in his iPhone and Margaret is thinking about Billy and I'm over here like Comedy Central on mute.
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 3

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    But when I'm done man is it lonely. Lol
    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F Mar 13

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    The thought of not having any projects to keep me occupied kind of scares me sometimes because my only alternative is to sit in my flat all day all on my own and that truly...
    TheNarratorGrim TheNarratorGrim 18-21, M Mar 14

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    It's great until you stop and have to think
    shannonsjourney shannonsjourney 18-21, F Mar 18

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    Why am I always depressed as soon as I get to school? At home I am the happiest girl ever. But I get to school and my mood drops drastically. Why does this happen? I hate it so...
    alleycat888 alleycat888 13-15, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Am sick of it all I want is to be like everyone els have friends and a gf and abill to go places with them and talk talk the time but cos my social anxiety I can't and my social...
    thebigscottishguy thebigscottishguy 22-25, M Mar 3

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    Confessions of A Depressionist. If you know me then you would say I'm always happy or always so hopeful and cheerful. By to me it's always been a fight to make myself happy...
    Lugelogistics93 Lugelogistics93 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 4

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    It's not that I think you don't love me. It's the fact that I don't love myself and I make myself think that no one can love me by making impossible connections possible in my mind...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Mar 2

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    I hate being the reason for everything being crappy...i feel alone,and when the day is done,and when I think of all that has happened,it somehow is my fault. I feel like a jerk...
    cjimenez cjimenez 16-17 1 Response Mar 9

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    Currently trying to finally make myself happy instead of making everyone around me happy. My happiness is just as important as the next person's.
    lynne7722 lynne7722 36-40, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    yeah I always make myself laugh
    tunderb tunderb 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    Manipulative people have fried my brain. I don't even know when its rational to be upset half the time. They convince you youre not making sense and shove nonsense down the...
    shootdownthestars shootdownthestars 16-17, F 5 hrs ago

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    I'm a junior in college and I study Literature. I picked Literature as my major because I thought I was a talented writer and had things to say that no one else had said quite like...
    alliemacd alliemacd 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    I am passing out of high school this year. I'll be in college soon. I'm sure my grades won't be that great for I'm not the same me now. Since my very childhood I have been very...
    25mayni97 25mayni97 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 10

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    I think I am depressed. I am 16 years old and gosh do I feel like life is dragging on forever but also flying past my eyes. It all started last year. My family moved to...
    Rubyalexander Rubyalexander 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 11

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    I can't sleep. I miss class. I fail my tests. Even the things I'm "good at" I can't do. I feel like I can't make it in my field because when I start to try harder I stop by...
    CaptainBenza CaptainBenza 18-21, M 1 Response a week ago

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    So for the last few months my husband has been severely depressed. I've been on his side before, but never let others know about it. Plus it was way before him and I met. Not that...
    SecretScorpio12 SecretScorpio12 22-25, F Mar 3

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    I'm at a mall, and I see soooo many people and it makes me sooo anxious and depressed. Anxious because I don't feel like I fit in and I feel like I stand out. I feel depressed...
    Thefightingangel Thefightingangel 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 13

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    Nothing motivates me. Nothing makes me feel good. Life is depressing & I'd rather not be here. I wish I could just sleep all day & never have to get up. The only thing I look...
    cringing cringing 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    Me and a work buddie of mine decided to go to Burger King for lunch today. I got there before him because he went home to bring over his wife and roommate. While they were gone I...
    Bellystuffer333 Bellystuffer333 18-21, M 7 hrs ago

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    I've been randomly feeling depressed since I was in the third grade. At least that's the earliest that I can remember, and remember vividly. I locked myself in my room and put a...
    Jaivous Jaivous 22-25, F Feb 27

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    My husband is depressed and everything I say makes him feel bad. I can't talk to him about anything. I feel like I have to bottle everything up because he thinks anything bad is...
    SecretScorpio12 SecretScorpio12 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    I'm soooo glad I found you guys I'm just here googling tryna find answers for myself. I started talking to my self because I was afraid of the dark and still am at 28. so I just...
    Meee02 Meee02 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 4

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    So yeah, me first experience on this site. I am one hell of a insecure girl. It started when I was 12, I had alot of friends but still alot of people called me a pig, or just fat...
    iwannarun iwannarun 16-17, F Mar 9

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    It's gotten a lot easier, the fake smile is easily plastered on. I'm always the person who seems happy go lucky, always helping out other people, and always with a smile and a skip...
    nicias nicias 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 6

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    Last year, I wrote this letter to a friend who was having a hard time moving on from a girl he really liked. This letter, sadly, was not delivered to him. I decided to post it on...
    JumpingTomatoes JumpingTomatoes 16-17 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Moronic abuse seems legal. But so are greedy republicans. And bad cops. And bad doctors. And pill makers. And. Crap.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    Am 20 years old and lonely and depressed. Am a guy who is meant to have friends am tall handsome am a dancer and am loving to people i meet but i don't have any one. Have been...
    jamie1994 jamie1994 18-21 1 Response Mar 14

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    I have social anxiety, I can't: - invite people over - go out with friends - go abroad without family - do sleepovers Without feeling anxious or feeling like I'm going to have a...
    tillygeorrge tillygeorrge 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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