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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 38 People

    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2013

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    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    Thriving On Sadness

    I've been depressed for so long. When I was 10-12 years old my mom was as at rock bottom and my piece of shite dad wasn't around. We were feeling pretty low, and everytime my dad made my mom cry I wanted to kill him. I decided no one else was capable of handling our problems so...
    Jan 23, 2013

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    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    Always

    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 31, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I started making myself puke during stress and to keep weight off. I used to only do this occasionally, however, now I seem to do it a lot.. I feel scared because I can't seem to...
    walkingbarefoot11 walkingbarefoot11 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    honestly what is there to say but I'm depressed i wake up depressed go to sleep depressed i cry myself to sleep i can give other people advice but i can't take my own advice! i...
    breebreet breebreet 13-15, F Jul 4

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    June 28. When Things Don't Work. Frequently, when faced with a problem, we may attempt to solve it in a particular way. When that way doesn't work, we may continue trying to solve...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Jun 28

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    June 29. God's Will. God's will most often happens in spite of us, not because of us. We may try to second guess what God has in mind for us, looking, searching, hypervigilant to...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Jun 29

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    This both a good and bad thing for me. The good: whenever I'm alone or with someone I don't like for example my fake *** friend I tend to talk to my self. When I need to make a...
    FighterWolf FighterWolf 13-15, F Jul 9

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    Okay, so the thing is i hate myself more then anything or anyone. I have social anxiety, i am shy like a hell, sensitive enough to get easily upset. And unpredictably hopeless. No...
    visibleme visibleme 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    I'm very stressed right now. I would carve words in my skin, but never make myself bleed. I still haven't found someone who understands. I've found someone to make me laugh and...
    MyNameIsDeath MyNameIsDeath 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 3

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    This benefits me and everyone in my world. By cherishing and nurturing myself I make myself more confident and attractive. And know what? I really like myself more. I am not...
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M Jul 4

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    I'm going to start running 4 miles 6 days a week starting tomorrow as well as make myself a better person by focusing on my needs more! (I apparently give too much and ignore my...
    konwins konwins 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 29

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    I can never seem to make myself proud. I am horribly ashamed of almost everything I do. Where is my self respect and respect for others. Where are my morals that I held so dear...
    Awakening29 Awakening29 26-30, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Help me think of a way to make myself and others around me happy.
    notsofab notsofab 16-17, F a week ago

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    I have a lot of motives for being a depressed and a **** human being... i just cant help myself of getting out of this situation, i lie to my mom everyday telling her that i'm ok...
    nahmr nahmr 18-21, F 4 hrs ago

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    I have severe bipolar depression which means I'll have my extreme happy or clam moments when I feel like nothing's wrong and then something little will happen that will make me...
    DarkRun421 DarkRun421 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    July 23. Making It Happen. Stop trying so hard to make it happen. Stop doing so much, if doing so much is wearing you out or not achieving the desired results. Stop thinking so...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 20 hrs ago

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    I don't really have much friends at all anymore and if I did I'd just drive them away intentionally. My best friend has her own crowd now and honestly I feel so alone deep down. I...
    Angrysalads Angrysalads 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 14

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    I was feeling tired and depressed, I just couldn't resist
    CatWithScars CatWithScars 13-15, F 4 hrs ago

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    From the beginning of this year I knew I had my work cut out for me. But I didn't know how hard it would truly be. I go to a Private school, we have a small amount of students at...
    rachelharperr rachelharperr 13-15, F Jul 6

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    Dont ask me why i am depressed, the answer wouldnt tell anything. Nobody understands me. I live for others, work like a freak for my family and i dont even have romantic love! I...
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F 7 hrs ago

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    I would never hurt someone intentionally. It's mean and unwise. I've been a victim of such sorts & I'm not angry with myself as much as I am feeling pity for that person. He'll be...
    IntomeYousee IntomeYousee 36-40, F Jul 1

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    I am (technically) a Christian. I believed in god until the age of 11. Everything began to mess up from then forward. The first time I cut myself, the first time I misbehaved, the...
    Jas4001 Jas4001 18-21, F Jul 9

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    I've taken a big decision in my life: after 6 years living in Europe, I decided to go back to my homeland, with my husband, who is a very true European. I've got myself some nice...
    azureazalea azureazalea 22-25, F Jun 30

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    once again...as always....I always set goals for myself that I want to achieve but I always seem to fail and it makes me so disappointed in myself and makes me feel like a loser...
    SomeGirlS SomeGirlS 16-17, F 4 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I know this sinking feeling anywhere. It's happening again. I've been depressed most of my teenage years. I have plenty of ups, but there are always downs that follow close behind...
    LettersToTheSky LettersToTheSky 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 2

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    Hurting once again by caring too much. I seem to fall for guys who have a history with some major event that would call for guilt on their part but yet they will not own it. I...
    sofarsogoodDD sofarsogoodDD 41-45 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    how ******* dare i call my self a man im a pathetic loser deserve all the hate and bullying and pain ive ever got i don't deserve anything different i push everyone away and make...
    greatbritain1707 greatbritain1707 16-17, M 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I don't know if I am depressed or not, I think depressed people are likely to be more devastated while I still have some strength left in me, or maybe I am just too strong as I...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    I'm so sad, and tired all the time. I'm tired of being depressed I think of taking my own life almost everyday.😔 when I'm with my family I smile because we're going through hard...
    depressedliving depressedliving 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    I know how it is to be depressed cos i was depressed. Now i look at myself like i look on a freak. I was wronged by some people in my past and somehow i allways had this memories...
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F Jun 30

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    I wouldn't say I'm fully depressed... I would just say my past isn't a good place to let my mind wonder... Yet that seems to be the only place it wants to go. I have a boyfriend...
    keepkeepinon keepkeepinon 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    . I like to make up songs while I'm brushing my teeth! And it makes me laugh when I hear myself ! 2. I'm hopelessly addicted to using exclamations points excessively!!!! 3. I have...
    Alicexnum2 Alicexnum2 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    I don't know whether I'm just moody or if I'm actually depressed. I don't feel like this all the time. When I'm distracting myself through books, TV or conversation, I'm fine. But...
    shafaz shafaz 18-21 Jun 27

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    I feel depressed off and on constantly. I'm 16 and this started around this past December. I am lonely. It's not like I have no friends, but I go on social media and see all these...
    averageandalone averageandalone 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 3

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    I hate myself. I immediately regret everything I say or do, or don't say or don't do, from the deepest conversations to the tiniest facial expressions I might make while ordering a...
    biggoron biggoron 26-30, M Jul 8

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    Hi, I'm 16 this year. I just really need someone who can relate to me. I hate myself so much. I hate everything about myself. And this is why. I'm Asian so ever since I was young...
    jyjho jyjho 16-17, F 6 Responses Jul 14

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    zmajurazanog zmajurazanog 18-21, M Jul 4

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    I was in third grade. I didn't have friends,I was bullied. One day,my friend approached me and asked "why are you so depressed?" I sat down and cried. I was depressed. I had just...
    Here2helpforfree Here2helpforfree 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    July 19. Proving It to Ourselves. "I spent a year trying to prove to my husband how much his drinking was hurting me. When I began to recover, I realized I was the one who needed...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 4 days ago

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    Sometimes I feel the way I express myself through words, I'm the only one that understands myself
    palmtreespring91 palmtreespring91 22-25, M 1 Response 22 hrs ago

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