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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 44 People

    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M Jul 31, 2009

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    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    Sometimes, when I can't sleep,

    I think of really sad scenarios that hurt me so much emotionally that I cry, because I want to prepare myself for the worse and so I will be able to be calm when I want to cry in public. But sometimes, I just think of me dying not because I want to prepare myself, because it...
    solisluna solisluna 16-17, F Aug 3, 2014

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    Always

    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2013

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    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    Thriving On Sadness

    I've been depressed for so long. When I was 10-12 years old my mom was as at rock bottom and my piece of shite dad wasn't around. We were feeling pretty low, and everytime my dad made my mom cry I wanted to kill him. I decided no one else was capable of handling our problems so...
    Jan 23, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Statements of mystical truths and palpable absurdities overwhelm my mind with unintelligible euphoria. Locking myself in the comfort of solitude, I unleash all eccentric thoughts...
    Mira11 Mira11 18-21, F 2 hrs ago

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    feel so destroyed i always expected this...that it will fade away this illusion i cherish...i lived in..for some bright moments in my life i was ready to give all...never taken...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M 2 hrs ago

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    so like idk its every day, and sometimes I'll feel okay ya know? like watching stuff i like or listening to music or night vale... but all the other times when im not escaping...
    baldwinbitch baldwinbitch 18-21, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I just feel like crap all the time and don't know what to do about it. I just can't concentrate on university anymore and my hirsutism just makes me feel lonely and hopeless. I cry...
    BellaItalia68 BellaItalia68 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    This past year was the hardest I've ever faced. I was extremely depressed. I woke up in the morning just to go back to sleep. I started popping pills to stay "normal" I couldn't...
    ThisIsHowIAm ThisIsHowIAm 18-21, F 7 hrs ago

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    I went to mcdonald's and they got rid of the minion toys and I didn't get the one that I wanted. It really is affecting me because it was my favorite one to look at. Now I can't...
    funnygirl90 funnygirl90 70+, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    I just want to die. I tried so long to find happiness and now I don't even want it, I just don't want to live at all. I have a healthy family who love me and it makes me even more...
    gracexxx gracexxx 16-17, F 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I'm really ho*ny at the moment and I need some relief? How can I make a fake d*ck to pleasure myself?
    Ambxr Ambxr 16-17, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    Thinking about deactivating mine, but am worried I'll need it in the future for clubs and activities...I sincerely regret ever making one in the first place. It makes me depressed...
    crypticcrime crypticcrime 18-21, F 12 hrs ago

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    Sigh..what's the point. Highschool friends and my whole family would abandon me if they knew I was an atheist, so I keep them out of my head. But there isn't else inside. I only...
    aeinhardt aeinhardt 18-21, M 18 hrs ago

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    I think people often underestimate what depression does to a person. I go from externalization/narcissism in dissociative states to internalization/depression. In other words; I...
    Outdoctrination Outdoctrination 18-21 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    yes it does. ep allows me to say and confess things i can't on facebook. and get tired of seeing pics of every second of other peoples lives. i really don't care. i don't...
    stlguy45 stlguy45 41-45, M 1 day ago

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    I have no life.I'm already 22 and I live with my grandparents,I stay home all day and going to sleep,thinking that the next day would be the same.It's all the same,makes me...
    Littlemisssunshine67 Littlemisssunshine67 22-25, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I told myself just now "you can and will make it through this". But then immediately I thought, "make it through to what" ?? Why do I need to make it at all ? Who and what is on...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    WALTER PALMER, a dentist in MN, paid $55,000 to illegally lure a well known, collared, protected lion from a game reserve in Zimbabwe. This lion was the mascot of the reserve and...
    speedman817 speedman817 31-35, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I am new member but infact have been reading stories/experiences for about six months. It seems to be a good site to express oneself as well as seek advice/suggestions. My problem...
    sologhost sologhost 36-40, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I've taken the tumble into complete depression. It's been three years since i've experienced a moment so dark as this one. I feel like I can't breathe and the worst thing is I...
    Lila37 Lila37 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    It's currently 4:41am where I am, I have to wake up for work in less than 3 hours and I can't seem to stop thinking... It's been a while since I've had a "low" like this... When I...
    Bu0611 Bu0611 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    As well as me being depressed, I make my friends depressed... Even if im happy, I still manage to make my friends depressed.... im such a bad friend..
    bpc2415 bpc2415 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm constantly getting into arguments with my parents that, for the most part, I don't start. I'm constantly told that I have to respect them, but they don't respect me. They are...
    blackroses75 blackroses75 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It's sad when everything hits you in the stomach once again. I mean nothing, no one really cares. I never knew i could hate myself so much. My family treats me like crap, I can't...
    whyusteens whyusteens 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I become more and more depressed the more I visit or stay on Facebook. Approximately ten days ago, my ex became my friend on Facebook again after almost a year. That only adds to...
    Beth1218 Beth1218 51-55 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    My life is one big mess right now. I'm young and I want to accomplish many things in the future but I'm terribly weak and fragile. I believe that I do not deserve to live in this...
    AppleCakes25 AppleCakes25 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    I guess I'm weird....I pick a random title and write a story to match it. So I'm depressed now...I don't like that. Nope, not one bit. It makes me sad. Like the time the MP's...
    rick4545 rick4545 36-40, M 5 days ago

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    I'm growing emotionally weaker and weaker everyday. I'm starting to give up on life and contemplating on suicide right now, I'm on the edge. Through all my years of high school and...
    emlugo1996 emlugo1996 18-21, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I don't really think I'm depressed. I've felt this way for a while, and I don't necessarily correlate it with one singular event or period. Maybe it started after I changed schools...
    amazingamelia amazingamelia 13-15, F 6 days ago

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    It has this knack of making me feel like utter ****. I dare to post things, life events, news stories I like, photographs and I might get a sympathy like at best, but generally I...
    usernameinneed usernameinneed 26-30, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    In the past two years over time ive been getting quieter and quieter these past 8 months ive had to admit to myself that im officialy depressed. Its hard when people ask me are you...
    jessie8g jessie8g 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    Coffee does it to me every time. I know this, but guess what's about to go down? HELL YEAH!
    MrFoolery MrFoolery 41-45, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I refuse to be depressed. I have so many things going on in my life that most people don't even realize. I have family issues, health issues, financial issues, and social issues...
    sweetiepoo sweetiepoo 26-30, F a week ago

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    I refuse to be depressed. I have so many things going on in my life that most people don't even realize. I have family issues, health issues, financial issues, and social issues...
    sweetiepoo sweetiepoo 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I refuse to be depressed. I have so many things going on in my life that most people don't even realize. I have family issues, health issues, financial issues, and social issues...
    sweetiepoo sweetiepoo 26-30, F a week ago