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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 40 People

    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    Thriving On Sadness

    I've been depressed for so long. When I was 10-12 years old my mom was as at rock bottom and my piece of shite dad wasn't around. We were feeling pretty low, and everytime my dad made my mom cry I wanted to kill him. I decided no one else was capable of handling our problems so...
    Jan 23, 2013

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    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 31, 2009

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    Always

    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    Sometimes, when I can't sleep,

    I think of really sad scenarios that hurt me so much emotionally that I cry, because I want to prepare myself for the worse and so I will be able to be calm when I want to cry in public. But sometimes, I just think of me dying not because I want to prepare myself, because it...
    solisluna solisluna 16-17, F Aug 3

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2013

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    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I get bullied at school and have done ever since I started secondary school 3 years ago. It has always been because of the way I look so I decided to do something about it. For...
    annonymususer15 annonymususer15 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    My story is that I have a sickness inside that I don't know how to make go away. It's hard to define this sickness other than a pervading poison that is eating me from the inside...
    Shellybelle Shellybelle 41-45, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I feel guilty that I often do not know what is going on, but I have not developed the ability to follow the news without becoming emotional. I have a friend who follows the news...
    meggerz14 meggerz14 26-30 Aug 7

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    Facebook....ugh. I find that I yearn for approval and validation from the friends I have on there. But while it seems like so many of these FB friends get likes, comments, and...
    lmma lmma 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 14

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    Having EDNOS is a struggle especially when you try your hardest to quit but every little thing triggered you and causes you to relapse. I've gone 2 weeks without purging or...
    XSimplyXSuicideX XSimplyXSuicideX 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    shenlong977 shenlong977 18-21, M Aug 22

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    I have been depressed like always and I tried to make myself feel better and I couldn't and a lot of things that are not ok crossed my mind suicide/cutting and I curled up in a...
    joshjudgment joshjudgment 13-15, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    It's in the middle of the night, and once again I can't sleep.. I've taken my meds, and they're suppose to make me sleepy.. but I'm wide awake.. I feel so low, and am listening to...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It all started about 4 years ago in junior high. I started growing up, going through hormonal changes, and some adjustments in life. And in the process I started dating (Late I...
    kittybabe100 kittybabe100 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    August 10. Letting Go of Perfection. "As I journey through recovery, more and more I learn that accepting myself and my idiosyncrasies — laughing at myself for my ways — gets...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Aug 11

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    I don't really know where to start; this is my first post. Let's start off by saying that I am 20 years old, but not your typical college girl. I grew up in a family that...
    tofufingers tofufingers 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    Thoughts constantly run in your mind & when there are multiple thoughts running, it impacts your clarity of thinking. Clarity of thinking impacts the way you speak making you...
    uselessguy uselessguy 36-40, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Today i think i'm having a depression mood swing. I have this summer assignment that i basically have to get done in 1 day or else i have go to the lake with my step-mom where i...
    a1uM1nuM448 a1uM1nuM448 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    Just when I think I have it beat, it hits me full force again! Yesterday should have been a great day with the great news I got, but I was still sad inside. Didn't sleep at all...
    Saram1985 Saram1985 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I think we both know I'm a mess So very lost, so very clueless. I dwell upon the past. I dwell upon the tiniest of things Searching for faults For reasons that you will leave I...
    NeverForgeIt NeverForgeIt 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 12

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    The way I torture myself is when I'm really horny, I don't do anything but make myself even hornier. I love not doing anything when I'm horny, to me it's hot torturing myself like...
    SilverXJzargo SilverXJzargo 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 9

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    Burned enough times I wait for the other shoe Say again that we are identical I already know I'll miss you Genius and brilliance eternal burn The fun is never the same Alway new...
    Accebere Accebere 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 3

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    I do. I'm really quite amazing. The things I come up with, the way I make myself laugh. Not in a arrogant way because I'm not better than anyone but there should be 2 of me.
    LikeAPrayer LikeAPrayer 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    I reached my peek. Most people don't understand that everyone has only a certain amount of bad things they can take. I honestly don't care where I end up, or how I feel now. The...
    OutOfTheOrdinary OutOfTheOrdinary 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    I used to be such a happy, active child. I used to love doing so many things. Running, biking, going to the beach.. Now, thanks to my lovely father... I've lost myself. I gave up...
    Fabihurtado123 Fabihurtado123 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    well my life is in shambles.. i knew my life i was going to be a failure, i had no hopes as a kid to become anything negative or positive literal cops & robbers cliché, i have a...
    NoHelpWanted NoHelpWanted 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    The title says it all . Broke my arm 3 days ago and its not that im sad about it im actually quite happy but im just really depressed .
    EllieCs EllieCs 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I don't know why, but everything I like or makes me happy goes away.Not just things, but even people. Most of my friends, especially my best friends are going far, far away.We're...
    SerialChiller SerialChiller 13-15, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Hello, About 2 weeks ago I was diagnosed with depression, though I would say I have been depressed for a few months it has really got me to a point where I need to write this...
    guethary guethary 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I'm not into drinking alcohol. I never have been for various reasons. The top reason for me not imbibing is because I do not like the possibility of getting drunk. I've been drunk...
    Nyx78 Nyx78 36-40, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I came home this summer to get away from my own home. To actually try and function with my parents. The first 14 days went okay. After that I was miserable. Depressed. Anxious...
    Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979 31-35, M Aug 13

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    This past month has been an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes I'm really happy, and hyper. I can't quit laughing and everything is so wonderful. But here lately it's like I'm...
    TheRisingPhoenix TheRisingPhoenix 16-17, F Aug 11

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    I am a 32 year old woman. I have been single for 7 years. I have only had one "serious" boyfriend and since then all I have experienced is heartbreak. Disastrous dates, flings, no...
    firecracker1 firecracker1 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 20

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    I've always been a sort of weak girl, I mean almost anything could make me cry but since I've cried myself to sleep for the last three years it's harder for me to just lay down and...
    xogymfish xogymfish 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 16

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    I am despised, ignored, corrected, abandoned, failed, and wrong. I have made more mistakes in my life than I would like to admit, and I am "still young." I fail or do not try...
    Guest4111 Guest4111 13-15, M 2 Responses Aug 20

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    We all get to a point in life, when we realize that life is not fair at all, most people realize that when they are teenagers, but that's not my case. I was born in a really...
    DeniedWings DeniedWings 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 5

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    August 31. Denial. I've been recovering many years. I've used denial many times. It has been a defense, a survival device, a coping behavior, and, at times, almost my undoing. It...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 days ago

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    life was good until i hit 18 years of age, i graduated high school back in 2008 and then i started having bathroom problems/ stomach problems which i was told was from ibs and...
    joe0ner joe0ner 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    I'm 18 and new to this, recently I've been felling really depressed and it's caused bcos of a girl but the girl Is what pushed me into being this depressed. I guess a light...
    jolley2k jolley2k 18-21, M 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    Ok so my weight kind of always been a thing that I wasn't really happy with. I like to stay within a certain range and for the most part I do. I'll go through a phase where I will...
    Ashley1421 Ashley1421 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    I am here to make this world a better place to live in. So many of my beloved friends are depressed / sad and hate life and I could not stop myself from posting. Trust me people I...
    Satyam117 Satyam117 18-21, M Aug 11

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    I was diagnosed with depression when I was 16, but since I refused to talk to a anybody back then I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until a couple of months ago when I broke down. I am...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 16

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    I'm destroyed! Ill give you an example. Imagine a mom and dad putting seeds in the ground to "grow" a beautiful plant. as the plant grows they start to forget about the plant. They...
    kjonesr kjonesr 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 18

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