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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 42 People

    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    Sometimes, when I can't sleep,

    I think of really sad scenarios that hurt me so much emotionally that I cry, because I want to prepare myself for the worse and so I will be able to be calm when I want to cry in public. But sometimes, I just think of me dying not because I want to prepare myself, because it...
    solisluna solisluna 16-17, F Aug 3

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    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    Always

    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 31, 2009

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    When I read something I have posted in the past on Experience Project and or read something from this site I make myself laugh.
    MyDoctorLove MyDoctorLove 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 6

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    I am a sight to see though. I honestly get physically sick thinking about myself. I'm not going to go into mass detail. I'm just going to say; the things I like and the things I do...
    XxSlowlyGivingUpxX XxSlowlyGivingUpxX 18-21, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    yeah......... so i am away from that site, thanks to ep.
    LittleCreates LittleCreates 22-25, M Oct 22

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    I am 16 years old and feel as if I let things get to me more than the average person. I feel lonely in the world. I'm constantly in arguments with the adults in my life, and I’m...
    jaygotthejuice jaygotthejuice 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    When I was seven years old my parents began to argue. It got so bad that my parents had to go to marriage counseling. I don't remember much about this time; I think that I erased...
    Rastelle Rastelle 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    My self-esteem is at an all time low. I want to die again. I want to just...stop existing. School is stressing me out, my life is stressing me out, I can't stop comparing myself to...
    Skollon Skollon 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm the girl that walks into a room and all heads turn, I've dated princes and nfl players and before you get the wrong idea I've had slept with a total of 1 guy. I've always had...
    notperfection notperfection 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 26

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    I honestly don't know what I'd do if I met myself.. In all honesty I really hate myself sometimes, but I also wouldn't ever want to be someone else. See, that's the confusing part...
    brimc7 brimc7 16-17, F a week ago

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    I was unpacking some of my things, actually settling in for a change, and I realized that it's been a while since I have. Putting clothes away into a dresser and a closet shouldn't...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 26-30 Oct 29

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    I just dyed my hair red and got it cut into an a line, and I love it!!! I love playing with makeup and my straightener, make myself all pretty for me and my man :) so much fun...
    ranchlife14 ranchlife14 18-21, F Nov 7

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    so want to cut. my life seems to be a battle everyday and its getting worse n worse. just need a blade to take all the problems away to make myself believe that im still alive
    Kelloggz90 Kelloggz90 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 27

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    I can't take a proper selfie without editing it to make myself appear good.
    dancedesire dancedesire 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 9

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    I'm feeling really down lately... ever since I got to college I've just felt more and more alone. I dont want to eat, have no energy to get work done, and rarely even want to hang...
    TaylorNicole312 TaylorNicole312 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    I try really hard, but I find myself in this black hole of nothingness every other week. It lasts for a few days usually. During these few days, it becomes really intense and I am...
    AnomalousEarthling AnomalousEarthling 22-25, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Nights like these make me feel as though I have no one. Seeing pictures of people around a campfire, of girls in tiny dresses drunkenly hugging their friends, of couples having...
    someonelikeyou9 someonelikeyou9 18-21, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    I seriously have no idea why I am writing this down. I've told a few people that I haven't been feeling well, and some even know how depressed I am. All they could say was "I hope...
    Esturrr Esturrr 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 21

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    So I have been depressed again lately they found precancerous cells in my uterus along with that I have been taking care of my cousin who lost his arm in a car accident asking with...
    sweety7268 sweety7268 18-21, F 7 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I felt I was getting a bit better, I made a lot of progress this year but I got news today.. my childhood friend I held so close to my heart has been strung out on heroin for...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    I'm just gonna kill myself
    sjwhit sjwhit 13-15, M 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I've been depressed for five years. No one knows, I only just started cutting... Yaaaa hip cuts....
    MatildaBlack MatildaBlack 13-15, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    Well. I'm honestly just quite annoyed. Not because I am depressed or the fact that I am miserable right now but that no one I seek help to will acknowledge how bad I am right now...
    MissxThing MissxThing 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    I have battled with depression for years, it all stems from a pretty rough upbringing, but then I suppose in getting off topic. I have been in a relationship with my partner for...
    marishkah marishkah 18-21, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    The urge never goes away. As a matter of fact, I kind of want to cut right now. Since I quit I never have, but when I feel bad and have no outlet for my feelings, cutting again...
    SpilledSecrets SpilledSecrets 22-25, F Oct 29

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    Have I learnt my lesson? Clearly not, I still want to chase after someone I like that's because I love it that he proves to me that I'm worthless. This is my masochistic trait...as...
    SwanNual SwanNual 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 7

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    1. I like Pop music a lot 2. I'm a cinephile 3. I have abandonment issues 4. I like sleeping with my window open 5. I like living in a peaceful serene place 6. I have a southern...
    anonymoussouthernbabe anonymoussouthernbabe 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 31

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    I just need to vent to somebody real quick because if I open up my feelings at all to family or friends, I am shut down. I was born with terrible acne. I have had it my entire life...
    MerleMyLove97 MerleMyLove97 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 29

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    I have been pretending that I am not depressed for a long while now almost to the point where I believe that I am not but ultimately I can't run from it because the sadness always...
    keribaby keribaby 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    1. I am doing this instead of doing my homework. 2. Peanut butter with chocolate is my weakness..it really is the next best thing after sliced bread 3. I am the proud conqueror of...
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 21

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    I've been depressed for awhile now and have been going to a therapist but not much has changed. I don't have many friends, my mom yells at me constantly, and I'm just done with...
    br1ttanymarie br1ttanymarie 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 26

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    Sometimes I feel like this, like I want to cry a lot, like I am so angry at everything, like I want to hurt someone or myself. Often times, I do lash out at the only person who...
    allkindsofcolors allkindsofcolors 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 28

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    It's hard to snap out of it and i doubt friends and fam really get it i try to be less depressing as to not always annoy people with my moods but thats easier said than done i feel...
    seeminglypossible seeminglypossible 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 30

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    I'm not a writer, sometimes I lack common sense, and other times I make no sense at all. If you still with me for the nect few minutes though I only hope that it gives you some...
    InfinitelyCurious InfinitelyCurious 18-21, F a week ago

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    I'm not a writer, sometimes I lack common sense, and other times I make no sense at all. If you still with me for the nect few minutes though I only hope that it gives you some...
    InfinitelyCurious InfinitelyCurious 18-21, F a week ago

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    October 21. Financial Responsibility. "When I began recovery from chemical dependency, I had to face my money mess stone cold sober, and I really had a mess," said one woman. "I...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 21

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    I've stayed at my sister's every night this week except this night. She went out to eat, and I'd just be sitting there doing nothing anyway. I ended up going to my niece's and...
    NastasyaFilippovna NastasyaFilippovna 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 30

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    November 5. Let's Make a Deal. "The relationship just wasn't working out, and I wanted it to so badly. I kept thinking if I just made myself look prettier, if I just tried to be a...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 5

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    To be honest sometimes it feels good being depressed. Being in my own personal world, keeping all my draining thoughts to myself and having nothing to care about. It's nice being...
    anonamanda001 anonamanda001 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 20

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