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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 44 People

    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M Jul 31, 2009

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    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    Thriving On Sadness

    I've been depressed for so long. When I was 10-12 years old my mom was as at rock bottom and my piece of shite dad wasn't around. We were feeling pretty low, and everytime my dad made my mom cry I wanted to kill him. I decided no one else was capable of handling our problems so...
    Jan 23, 2013

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    Always

    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 21, 2013

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    Sometimes, when I can't sleep,

    I think of really sad scenarios that hurt me so much emotionally that I cry, because I want to prepare myself for the worse and so I will be able to be calm when I want to cry in public. But sometimes, I just think of me dying not because I want to prepare myself, because it...
    solisluna solisluna 16-17, F Aug 3, 2014

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    My real business never has a person to share. All of those people in my Facebook talking to me are to ask me to antibore them. I can't imagine how one could be that bored. I even...
    ExileMyself ExileMyself 26-30, F 12 hrs ago

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    I never had a reason to be sad. I just was. finally I couldn't take it anymore. I showed my mom what I did myself everyday. I showed her all my pain. she put me in a mental...
    brookisme brookisme 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    My facebook is full of a ton of useless friends. They either send message to me to ask me to antibore them or don't talk to me at all. None of them can share my concerns or has...
    ExileMyself ExileMyself 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    My brain is swirling and boiling in a pot of emotions — anxiety, fear, loneliness, embarrassment, sadness, guilt, regret, shame — I think it's depression. My depression is...
    remembertolove remembertolove 16-17, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Hello Everyone -- I came across this site when I googled "I hate my family" so I figured I'd give it a shot to hopefully find other people who can relate. I am so sad lately...
    hifuckedupworld hifuckedupworld 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I feel really down. I'm back to square one. I have really bad anxiety and depression that i have been trying to cope with for the last few months. I've dropped classes in college...
    reversethetime reversethetime 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I'm so aware of the people around me. My tears stop the moment I can feel a wakeful presence besides my own. And an automatic smile is an instant defense against the question, "Are...
    Bluemusiq Bluemusiq 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    Its been proven that people who facebook a lot are a lot less satisified with their lives because they're constantly comparing them to all the "good stories" on facebook, the "I...
    cashetty69 cashetty69 51-55, M 5 days ago

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    I think it would, in fact it's been PROVEN
    cashetty69 cashetty69 51-55, M 5 days ago

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    Every morning i wake up and ask myself why didn't i die? And ask myself how could i make that big mistake? Every Morning i wake up ask myself what should i do?
    Gloriaboszaman Gloriaboszaman 26-30, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    I really want to kill myself. My life is going on horribly. My mother has psychotic depression, she has been on an affair for 9 years & has just recently stopped after being...
    mangoseed mangoseed 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    I really want to kill myself. My life is going on horribly. My mother has psychotic depression, she has been on an affair for 9 years & has just recently stopped after being...
    mangoseed mangoseed 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 22

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    i am sad and broke.......... there was this guy i never liked and imma now in 10th grade..... in our syllabus last year that is in my 9th Grade there was a Poem Called "The Seven...
    preethi03 preethi03 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    An apology from the other women They say that Karma is a *****. And you know what, she is... but she is right. I got what I deserved because I dated a married man, he left his...
    designdiva32 designdiva32 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 21

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    So recently I've been dating this guy. I am going to be a senior in high school and he is on his way to college. My parents have been asking me when is he starting , I told them in...
    maryblake maryblake 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I stick my fingers down my throat to make myself puke. I do it whenever I need to, or when I want to. If I'm not feeling sick and I want to puke, I usually make myself sick first.
    pukeboy pukeboy 22-25, M Aug 19

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    I'm not sure what to do. It'll be a long story, but I'll greatly appreciate support and advice. I suffer from neurosis that comes with anxiety and I don't take stress very well...
    ListenerTalker ListenerTalker 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    My Fake Mother's boyfriend's family drugged me, yet again. I think I'm Going to go crazy! I was eating some pasta that I made, and I noticed that the pasta had traces of paper in...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    my 'friends' failed and left me when I need them my family only tell me bad things about myself my parents ignore me always that I need to talk with them I feel so lonely and...
    faithtobehappy faithtobehappy 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    03:31 and I can't sleep, and that's too bad because the voices on my head starts to tell me horrible things about myself, they tell me the truth and it's so hard to me, they make...
    faithtobehappy faithtobehappy 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 17

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    Well lately I been down about life even though I have a lot going for me. I find myself truly not happy and depressed. Something dawned on me which gave me hope and thru my...
    jpm5635 jpm5635 36-40, M 8 Responses Aug 16

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    I wish I was normal like everybody else. I hate my social anxiety! It has destroyed my life. I had to give up on my dream to be an actor. I loved to be on stage and front of the...
    Erivalentino Erivalentino 22-25, M Aug 16

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    I always feel my partner doesn't love me the way I do her. Then I get totally depressed,I start feeling there must be something Terribly wrong with me. I cry then I get mad at...
    Depdude Depdude 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 15

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    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger But what if it doesn't What if it leaves you weaker than before What are you supposed to do It's selfish to give in people say But they...
    crimsonrosebud crimsonrosebud 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 14

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    I was diagnosed with depression in 2009, been on and off on anti-depressants and I'm thinking of going back again, but the illusion those pills cause me scared me a lot and cause...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Aug 14

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    This is how my summers been going. So I was a junior camp counselor for 4 weeks, where I was sexually harassed by the kids. I also had to deal with kids with special needs. And I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Aug 14

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    These voices in my head just tell me I'm not good enough. I never will be. Is this what depressed feel's like, being trapped in your own head. i think so. I feel suicidal but i...
    unknowngirlonline unknowngirlonline 13-15, F Aug 14

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    So I got rejected by a guy because I gained a little weight. On top of that I was depressed for emotional/psychological reasons that I'm working with my therapist with. But now I'm...
    FreeSpirit02 FreeSpirit02 18-21, F 7 Responses Aug 13

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    I'm not good at building relationships, I have an eating disorder, I have low self esteem, I'm single, and I think I'm depressed. Lately I find myself thinking how I wish I wasn't...
    DanaJuliana DanaJuliana 22-25, F Aug 13

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    I Have Lost My Personality And Sense Of Humor And It Is Ruining My Life. For the past year i feel as though my life has been tumbling down a hill with an endless slope. In the past...
    Yappogi Yappogi 13-15, M Aug 13

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    I have recently had the misfortune to experience the bad side of human nature. I think I am a descent human being, not perfect of course, but I try my best in this life. I had...
    AwakenEdge AwakenEdge 41-45, F 5 Responses Aug 12

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    Sometimes when I listen to music I don't even know what's going on around me. It's like I go into a trance and forget about reality. It somehow makes me excited or happy when I'm...
    faykath faykath 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12