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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 44 People

    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 31, 2009

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    Sometimes, when I can't sleep,

    I think of really sad scenarios that hurt me so much emotionally that I cry, because I want to prepare myself for the worse and so I will be able to be calm when I want to cry in public. But sometimes, I just think of me dying not because I want to prepare myself, because it...
    solisluna solisluna 16-17, F Aug 3, 2014

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    Always

    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Seeing the lives of people who seem to be the epitome of perfection. Seeing the fun loving relationships, vacations with tons of friends. The new babies, engagements, weddings, and...
    sashade1990 sashade1990 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 19

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    They show off with their perfect life and much likes and comments which i will never get. When will facebook be "out"? So that this damn girl can finally stop showing off with her...
    tokyo60s tokyo60s 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 27

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    YOUR BLOCKED FROM MY FACEBOOK SINCE MICHELLE GOT MARRIED ..YOU FAT COW
    yawnbutfun123 yawnbutfun123 51-55, F Apr 27

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    Why.Must.I.Be.Here? I can't handle myself. I just can't... I'm so done and over myself.. I sell myself short, I disrespect myself, I intentionally hurt myself... I'm all sorts...
    Catho Catho 18-21, F Apr 19

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    I keep myself engaged when I feel I am down and think of the n number of things God has bestowed on me. Just because I do not have a partner now does not make me depressed. I will...
    lesbianrva lesbianrva 31-35 Apr 24

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    I sometimes wish my online mommy wasn't so busy so she could have time to talk to her it makes me depressed I don't get to talk to her much. I love her very much and I want her to...
    babygirlh95 babygirlh95 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I have made this profile few days ago with a decision to face my fears of socialization and gain some insight in my own along with other people's similar problems. At first I...
    LFSomething LFSomething 22-25, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    I want to change my life. I've taken already some steps, but I can't stop now or it's all just gonna revert back to where I started from! Changing who I am, how I look at the world...
    Featherwings Featherwings 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 16

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    In two years I will have my associates degree and I'll be a qualified nursing assistant , and honestly at this point I just want to get my own place and be by myself , get a dog...
    Purpletears17 Purpletears17 16-17, F Apr 25

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    I am a 20 year old from London who studies Performance at University, which is about to end in a week. After that ill be off to America for five months working and experiencing new...
    Amyflorence Amyflorence 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    And I do... for every relationship. I gaze at them. Analyse them and turn into what they want. Problem is that this takes no account of what I want and who I am. Then I get...
    grommit3 grommit3 36-40, F 5 Responses Apr 17

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    This is how I feel about weddings. Weddings are intimate. They should be personal, not a grand show-off event of dress-up, show-up, who's invited, who's in attendance, who wore...
    blankcheck4urhart blankcheck4urhart 36-40, F Apr 12

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    I have been in a situation in my life where I pretended to be someone else and it got out of hand big time. It brought me so much pain but most of all it caused others pain. Which...
    GuiltBear GuiltBear 31-35, M Apr 13

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    My mind is racing, it's buzzing. I can't clear it. It makes my head hurt, so I cry. I don't like to cry so I try and stop myself. I guess I'm overwhelmed. Thoughts of School...
    MDCollegeMan MDCollegeMan 18-21, M Apr 27

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    I know this sounds really stupid, but I have terrible issues dealing with guilt, and there have been so many times when I lay face down under the covers in my bed and think about...
    TheEnduringSunrise TheEnduringSunrise 18-21, F Apr 24

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    I didn't realize it until something happened that i wanted advice on, but I've worked so much for so long that i don't have anyone i can tell my real thoughts to. It's an odd...
    strider01 strider01 41-45, M Apr 11

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    I really do. That's why I sometimes don't leave my room or I go out on runs, it's because I keep thinking of things I hate and don't want to think about, then I feel depressed and...
    ThisIsLife13 ThisIsLife13 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    I've been feeling realy down lately.. First thing first I'm a 15 year old boy and I love playing video games and that's the reason I preety much suck at every ball sport.I never...
    oneMidnightstar oneMidnightstar 13-15, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    For months I have been getting more and more anxious and depressed. I mostly feel fine through out the day...but when night hits, I always have so many negative thoughts about...
    CoreyG97 CoreyG97 18-21, M Apr 13

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      So i just realized that i've been depressed all my life i really do i have no friends or family i ******* hate my life i really want to die and just end this horrible life...
    liamlee454 liamlee454 16-17, M 3 Responses Apr 20

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    Forgive, sounds good Forget, I?m not sure I could They say time heals everything But I?m still waiting I?m through with doubt There?s nothing left for me to figure out I?ve paid a...
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 26

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    After I spent half an hour talking with a customer service lady and all the work I did to get our internet back online my mom just steals the modem and says I had one day to use it...
    AnonymousCaleb AnonymousCaleb 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 26

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    i dont know what to do i think im spirling downwards. im a failure and i just want to give up. ill never make it into college i know people dont care about that stuff bc of...
    JannieL3 JannieL3 16-17, F 1 day ago

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    "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger "... a phrase we are all too familiar with. A phrase that I've always considered to be cliche or played out. I phrase I once considered a...
    irreelevance irreelevance 16-17, F Apr 9

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    I've listened to the song "How Do You Get That Lonely" by Blaine Larsen. It's a song about a 18 year old boy who committed suicide Unexpectingly. It goes: How do you get that...
    TheEnduringSunrise TheEnduringSunrise 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 25

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    I really need someone to talk to. I'm 21. I have no friends. No job. I don't go to school. I have nothing. I babysit every day, as I have for a couple years now. Every day it...
    Goob21 Goob21 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 26

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    I'm living in an abusive household, and it's made me depressed. When I wasn't living here, I wasn't suicidal like I am now, and I wasn't depressed. Tim (my father), yells at me...
    Maelui Maelui 26-30, F Apr 7

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    I'm new here at experience project... I am really depressed. A sophomore in college struggling to figure out if I want to change the career path I have been on for so long. I had...
    BlueFields BlueFields 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Hello, Am a 13 year old girl. I have a lot stupid things. I show on skype my naked body to a boy. He makes photo's . I cut myself and hate myself. A girl in clas saw my scars I...
    XCuteWithoutE XCuteWithoutE 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 17

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    So, I'm tired of life in general. I look on here and all of these younger people accept themselves. Fine...fine. But I'm f.ucking 22 years old and I still am having problems being...
    Pride49 Pride49 22-25, M 3 Responses Apr 22

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    It seems weird to me that people believe in horoscopes. I'm a leo and I'm apparently supposed to be super confident and into myself but either I'm the most self loathing leo on the...
    blackroses75 blackroses75 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 25

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    i am secretly depressed, well at least i think i am, i have felt this way for around 5 years and no one knows. no one not even my parents, i made sure they would never find out...
    xox17xox xox17xox 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I am 15 years old and I would say I have been depressed for a about four years or at least about the time I began secondary school. Some days I just get to a point where I can't...
    safiya999 safiya999 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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