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I Intentionally Make Myself Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 42 People

    Always

    Sometimes I think of things so much that I just make myself feel really depressed. It's like I want to be like this.. but I don't... I just can't get out of it though. It just goes round and round.. I feel really depressed.. then I feel okay..  and then I think to much...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2010

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    "depressed Child"

    On purpose, that is the word that rings through my head as i sit here typing this. Why would someone so sane intentionally make themselves feel unhappy, suicidal, or depressed. I have a happy streak for three or four days, but after that, i sit down and make myself depressed. I...
    dallascowboyz29fan dallascowboyz29fan 16-17 2 Responses Sep 10, 2010

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    Sometimes...

    I sometimes feel like a lot of depressed people do where they feel "better" the more sad or down they are. They just get used to feeling that way and keeping their expectations low so they aren't disappointed in life. I've been guilty of this many times in my life and...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 31, 2009

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    Fiance's Ex.

    So my fiance and I have been together for a while now and we have a child who's almost one, recently his ex girlfriend has been saying very negative things to me about our child and us being together...   do you think it's out of jealousy?
    TaliaYumYum TaliaYumYum 18-21 1 Response Jul 13, 2009

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    I Guess I Should Clarify Something

    I created the group and chose the word "depressed" because I decided to use the word to mean what people commonly mean by it:  down, gloomy, sad, feeling isolated.  Folks on EP would latch onto that word, say, "Yep, that's me," and we could talk...
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 19, 2009

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    Sometimes, when I can't sleep,

    I think of really sad scenarios that hurt me so much emotionally that I cry, because I want to prepare myself for the worse and so I will be able to be calm when I want to cry in public. But sometimes, I just think of me dying not because I want to prepare myself, because it...
    solisluna solisluna 16-17, F Aug 3

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    Beating Myself Up

    So I've been very depressed for three or four years now. It started in late eighth grade, and now I'm a rising senior. It's been tough. For a while, I literally didn't go a day without fantasizing about killing myself, and I think that left a lasting effect on me. Even today...
    Freezesmyblood Freezesmyblood 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 21, 2013

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    In a Way

     I have been depressed for so long that I am so used to feeling down all the time. I don't think I'll ever be truly happy or normal. It would be a miracle if I get better. There have been many opportunities in my life to change and live a normal life but I am so pessimistic...
    reset reset 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    Storm's Brewin'

    And this time there's nothing intentional about it.  Frankly, I'm worried.
    romanticidiot romanticidiot 46-50, M 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    When I read something I have posted in the past on Experience Project and or read something from this site I make myself laugh.
    MyDoctorLove MyDoctorLove 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 6

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    I am a sight to see though. I honestly get physically sick thinking about myself. I'm not going to go into mass detail. I'm just going to say; the things I like and the things I do...
    XxDorkyBoyxX XxDorkyBoyxX 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 18

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    I am 16 years old and feel as if I let things get to me more than the average person. I feel lonely in the world. I'm constantly in arguments with the adults in my life, and I’m...
    jaygotthejuice jaygotthejuice 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    When I was seven years old my parents began to argue. It got so bad that my parents had to go to marriage counseling. I don't remember much about this time; I think that I erased...
    Rastelle Rastelle 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    My self-esteem is at an all time low. I want to die again. I want to just...stop existing. School is stressing me out, my life is stressing me out, I can't stop comparing myself to...
    Skollon Skollon 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 13

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    I honestly don't know what I'd do if I met myself.. In all honesty I really hate myself sometimes, but I also wouldn't ever want to be someone else. See, that's the confusing part...
    brimc7 brimc7 16-17, F Nov 13

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    I was unpacking some of my things, actually settling in for a change, and I realized that it's been a while since I have. Putting clothes away into a dresser and a closet shouldn't...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 26-30 Oct 29

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    I HAVE to feel that I'm in control of everything...if I feel out-of-control...then I have anxiety & depression. Even if I'm not in control of anything...I need to at least feel...
    RubyLane RubyLane 41-45, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I would like to become more - supportive - of people. It's one of the things I've started to almost 'study' in people's interactions. I grew up in a family that was fine...
    elevating elevating 36-40, F 3 days ago

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    This is the first time i try to ********** myself.I played with myself.I shoved two fingers to my holes.I didn't come,except keep getting wet.After I finished,I feel pain when I...
    jn97 jn97 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I have older siblings that have already graduated and as you might think, it's not my parents who tell me I need to do better than them, but rather myself saying I need to be...
    FriendOfARazor FriendOfARazor 18-21, F 16 hrs ago

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    I just dyed my hair red and got it cut into an a line, and I love it!!! I love playing with makeup and my straightener, make myself all pretty for me and my man :) so much fun...
    ranchlife14 ranchlife14 18-21, F Nov 7

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    so want to cut. my life seems to be a battle everyday and its getting worse n worse. just need a blade to take all the problems away to make myself believe that im still alive
    Kelloggz90 Kelloggz90 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 27

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    I can't take a proper selfie without editing it to make myself appear good.
    dancedesire dancedesire 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 9

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    I act like I don't care about my appearance, but I also make myself throw up after I eat ice cream.
    SunshineOverClouds SunshineOverClouds 26-30, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    So, there is something I've been holding onto for months... Something that happened to me, and I don't really know how to talk about it, not that I really have anyone to talk about...
    TheZEEMan TheZEEMan 22-25, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    November 27. We can Trust Ourselves. For many of us, the issue is not whether we can trust another person again; it's whether we can trust our own judgment again. "The last...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I feel like my problems are minuscule after reading some of the posts on here, it makes me feel bad for being sad... I can’t help it though, I feel so worthless. I just turned...
    thecap246 thecap246 18-21, F 11 hrs ago

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    I have been going through a really rough patch. I was so bad that I stopped sleeping, eating and talking to people. All I did was to sit at home and cry. When I went out I was...
    Lily449 Lily449 18-21, F 2 hrs ago

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    What can I do pictures of you still make me cry Trying to live without your love, it's so hard to do Some nights I'll wake up I'll look at your pillow Hoping that I'll see you...
    Lex2420 Lex2420 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    It's gotten so old.. I've been considering trying to od being trying to hang myself or slit my wrists didn't go as I'd planned, but then I think about my loved ones.. I realize it...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 12 hrs ago

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    the time my friend Freddie became a girl part 1 I leaped out the other side of the table and ran for my life, I heard the girls shouting at each other behind me in unison ?You let...
    Jaitheboy Jaitheboy 13-15, T 9 hrs ago

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    Well. I'm honestly just quite annoyed. Not because I am depressed or the fact that I am miserable right now but that no one I seek help to will acknowledge how bad I am right now...
    MissxThing MissxThing 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    the time my friend Freddie became a girl part 2 If she saw what I could see in the mirror, then we were going to be fine. And I was right. As soon as she entered the room, a wide...
    Jaitheboy Jaitheboy 13-15, T 9 hrs ago

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    The urge never goes away. As a matter of fact, I kind of want to cut right now. Since I quit I never have, but when I feel bad and have no outlet for my feelings, cutting again...
    SpilledSecrets SpilledSecrets 22-25, F Oct 29

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    I always act happy so no one really knows how depressed I am I'm just the weirdo that doesn't talk and doesn't have friends but I can't make friends when I get scared to talk to...
    christinelol christinelol 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Have I learnt my lesson? Clearly not, I still want to chase after someone I like that's because I love it that he proves to me that I'm worthless. This is my masochistic trait...as...
    SwanNual SwanNual 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 7

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    Yes I cry. Yes I feel sorry for myself. Yes I say I don't no how I can cope anymore. Yes I'm sad. NO I AM NOT DEPRESSED! I don't need medical help. I just need to be heard and...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    1. I like Pop music a lot 2. I'm a cinephile 3. I have abandonment issues 4. I like sleeping with my window open 5. I like living in a peaceful serene place 6. I have a southern...
    anonymoussouthernbabe anonymoussouthernbabe 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 31

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    I have been pretending that I am not depressed for a long while now almost to the point where I believe that I am not but ultimately I can't run from it because the sadness always...
    keribaby keribaby 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 18

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    The time my friend Freddie became a girl part 3 ?Put them on now!? ?Make me!? That was the wrong thing to say, Kirsty was definitely being serious when she said she?d do it...
    Jaitheboy Jaitheboy 13-15, T 9 hrs ago

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    You tell me everything I have put you through.. But you don't acknowledge what you have put me through. This isn't a blame game but we act like it is one.. We are not right for...
    Nocturnallover Nocturnallover 18-21, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    I just need to vent to somebody real quick because if I open up my feelings at all to family or friends, I am shut down. I was born with terrible acne. I have had it my entire life...
    MerleMyLove97 MerleMyLove97 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 29

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    Sometimes I feel like this, like I want to cry a lot, like I am so angry at everything, like I want to hurt someone or myself. Often times, I do lash out at the only person who...
    allkindsofcolors allkindsofcolors 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 28

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    It's hard to snap out of it and i doubt friends and fam really get it i try to be less depressing as to not always annoy people with my moods but thats easier said than done i feel...
    seeminglypossible seeminglypossible 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 30

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    I'm not a writer, sometimes I lack common sense, and other times I make no sense at all. If you still with me for the nect few minutes though I only hope that it gives you some...
    InfinitelyCurious InfinitelyCurious 18-21, F Nov 12

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    I'm not a writer, sometimes I lack common sense, and other times I make no sense at all. If you still with me for the nect few minutes though I only hope that it gives you some...
    InfinitelyCurious InfinitelyCurious 18-21, F Nov 12

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