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I Joke of the Week

Jokes/stories/things that just make ur day go by a little faster 63 People

    Ladies, Gentlemen-

    Ladies read the first part....Men read the rest. A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 24 Responses Oct 27, 2009

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    2 Wise Nuns

     There were two nuns.. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) , and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the pastthirty-eight...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 8 Responses Jul 14, 2009

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    A neutron asks the bartender,

    "how much for a beer?" The bartender says, "For you- no charge."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    A man was sick and tired of going to work every

    day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: 'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. God, in...
    BIPUSSY BIPUSSY 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    How Observant R U? Quiz

    This is a based on U. S. info, so use all lobes of your brain. There are 25 questions, the average person gets 7 correct. No cheating, be honest. Number your paper from 1 through 25 1. On a standard traffice light, is the green on top or bottom? 2. How many States are there in...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 8, 2009

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    A Good Deal

    A man was stuck in rush hour traffic when a prostitute approaches his car. She says ill do anything you want for $100 but you have to tell me in 3 words or less. He thinks over the offer and says "paint my house"
    Simone1969 Simone1969 46-50, T 1 Response Nov 5, 2013

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    Total PC Experience

    Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation has reconfirmed its commitment to bringing the "total PC experience" to Macintosh computer users. MS software developers this week announced the latest version of its "Windows for Macintosh" bundle comes with MyDoom, Bagle, SoBig, LovSan...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Oct 28, 2013

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    chinese surprise-

    an italian, a scotsman, and a chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. the foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the italian guy, "you're in charge of sweeping." to the scotsman he said, "you're in charge of shoveling." and to the chinese guy, "you're in...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2010

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    Weight Loss Plan-

    A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 25, 2009

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    For The Birds

    I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2013

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    I work at a plant that makes fire hydrants.

    I can never park anywhere near the place.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    -mouthwash salesman-

    a neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked "sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?" aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!" the salesman seemed hurt and then tries again. "sir, since you are a bit irate, i'll...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 8 Responses Apr 21, 2010

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    2 Chimps & A Blonde-

    Two Chimps and a Blonde A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "do...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 27, 2009

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    My First Time-

    the sky was dark the moon was high all alone just she and I her hair was soft her eyes were blue i knew just what she wanted to do her skin so soft her legs so fine i ran my fingers down her spine i didn't know how but I tried my best i started by...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 11 Responses Aug 23, 2009

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    Single Black Female-

    This is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta journal. Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 8 Responses Jul 17, 2009

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    Have you heard the news about corduroy pillows?

    Seems they've been making a lot of headlines.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Canine Rehabilitation Upon completion of the

    Canine Rehabilitation courses, the student was granted a dogtorate.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    Forrest Gump In Heaven

    Enjoy Peeps! It all boils down to how you hear the question. The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven, he is met by St. Peter at the pearly gates. However, the gates are closed and as Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper, St. Peter says, "well, Forrest...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 6, 2009

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    Rock Hard Wish-

      Once upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked it up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. "Master, I shall now grant you one wish." The man spoke...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 27, 2009

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    Floors-

    A store that sells husbands has just opened in Dallas, TX, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may vist the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 23, 2009

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    Mailboxes-

    This was posted on my local radio station website. Gallery of mailboxes...people are so creative! Check it out. FYI: continue clicking past the advertisements... The one with the mailbox labeled "bills" put up high got me rolling :) http://www.971zht.com/cc-common...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 21, 2009

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    Blonde Joke

    Why did the blonde wash her head in the sink? Because that is where you are suppose to wash vegetables.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M 2 Responses Mar 15, 2010

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    Two men walked into a pub late one afternoon

    and noticed that, among the few customers, was one individual sitting quietly at the end of the bar. The two ordered some beers. The bartender brought them and said, "that will be 50p please." They put it on the slate and a short time later ordered two more beers; again they...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 8

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    True Story-

    Things are not as they appear.   A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 20, 2009

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    Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his

    dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?” the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. “Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Feb 6, 2014

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    dougsmall dougsmall 31-35, M Feb 21, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the

    hospital just before his operation. “What’s the matter?” he was asked. He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.” “She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 6, 2014

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    Why is Sunday, Monday,

    Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, & Saturday not as strong as a Century? Because they are just a little week.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 7, 2014

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    Why was the sand wet?

    Because the sea weed.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    The Woman's Brains-

    A patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost...
    ShadowofDoubt ShadowofDoubt 26-30, F 11 Responses Aug 28, 2009

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    A man walked into the lingerie department of

    Dunnes in Dublin and said to the woman behind the counter, "I'd like to buy a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B." What type of bra? asked the clerk. "Baptist" said the man. She said get a Baptist bra, and that you'd know what she meant." "Ah yes, now I remember" said the...
    busty73 busty73 56-60, F 1 Response May 8

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    Related Experiences

    April fools day is a favored day for some, since there are many funny jokes that can be played. But when you are working for The Man humor can be unacceptable. The workplace has...
    angoracheck53 angoracheck53 41-45, F 2 hrs ago

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    Among the hiddening ideas of a team structure activity is that it is designed to nurture at team spirit amongst the participants, and aid them focus on exactly what they have to do...
    angoracheck53 angoracheck53 41-45, F 2 hrs ago

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    Recently at a class reunion a friend brought up a incident that happened 45 years ago or so that I had forgotten. The comic books back then had this page selling things like: trick...
    Golondrinas Golondrinas 51-55, M 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    I worked for the local news paper for a lot of years and I still remember what one of the press guys did as a joke on one of the bosses in the press room. Sean he is one of the...
    Lockiel45 Lockiel45 46-50, M 1 day ago

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    I think my friends want kill me over the stupid joke I told them. "Guess who I saw today?" "Who?" "Everyone I looked at."
    Spyro93 Spyro93 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Working overtime has become routine for white-collar workers, with more than 60 percent of employees in a recent survey saying they have to work extra time on weekdays and 40...
    decantercentrifuge decantercentrifuge 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    Jokes and riddles which are non sex related are the best ones :)
    NickoliShang NickoliShang 18-21, M 2 days ago

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    Half of the time I tell a joke- the joke is me because I make no sense 😂😝😭👌😆😎
    Jaazz1987 Jaazz1987 16-17 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. “Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The...
    openbook15 openbook15 26-30, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    What do you call a frog in the secret service?? Infrognito Dad jokes are the best jokes, no lie :)
    sfairy27 sfairy27 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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