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I Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 29 People

    Walked into my mate's house

    and said sxxxxt your ceilings high, he said I know, wife's idea, she wanted two rooms knocking into one
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M Nov 28, 2014

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    Sue asked Linda if she was ok,

    no I have a sore throat said Linda, oh when I het that I give my husband a bxxxxxj and it's better, a few days later sue asks Linda how her throat was, its much better now says Linda,..... Your husband couldnt believe it was your idea at first though!
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2014

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    Hi mate I dealt need your advice,

    I suspect my wife's upto something so I hid in the garage till she came home she pulled up on the drive the interior light came on I saw her fasten her bra and button her blouse up redo her hair and sort out smudged make up she got out of the car and I could see she had ladder'd...
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    Sipho

    Grade 6 pupils sit in the geography class. The teacher points to a map and asks, "Where's Whashington DC? Anyone know?" Sipho puts up his hand and say's, "Yes, I know where". Teacher says "Come show us Sipho". Sipho walks to the map and puts his finger directly on the spot. "Well...
    YBlah YBlah 41-45 Nov 13, 2013

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    First Time Sex

    .............. A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic...
    goforbroke goforbroke 41-45, M 4 Responses Jul 12, 2011

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    Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

    Ans: Tequila! de-de-de_de_de_de_de_da
    lipstickgal77 lipstickgal77 36-40, F Nov 8, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I'm the person who can barely get the joke out because it's just too damn funny in my head. I've also come up with lots of ****** jokes myself. I think I'm hilarious. Anyway, my...
    Allforaview Allforaview 18-21, F Feb 15

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    The girls at my school have a tendency to shout "RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!" when people have their possessions such as their phones, or when things aren't going their way- even if someone...
    Missgraycey Missgraycey 13-15, F Jan 31

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    This guy goes to jail. On his first night someone shouts from a cell. 33. Every one packs up laughing. Then someone shouts. 55. And everyone laughs. This goes on for a while. And...
    KidAgony KidAgony 22-25 6 days ago

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    Are all jokes some form of a riddle, or are riddles really a good joke?
    SkyllerRush SkyllerRush 16-17, M 2 Responses Jan 28

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    We both took a day off work just to wander around the city, eat, drink, see a film, feed the ducks, and just be in each other's company. It was a good day. We fed the ducks and the...
    GlassBrainedDog GlassBrainedDog 36-40 3 Responses Jan 31

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    My mom says that back in the good ole days, blonde jokes were "little moron" jokes. Does anyone else remember that?
    pattyhard pattyhard 51-55, T 1 Response Feb 5

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    Don't ever fuc*king tell people to kill themselves! Not even as a joke. It's really not something to fuc*king joke about! You never know what's in people's minds and how that could...
    JennyAB JennyAB 16-17, F 16 Responses Feb 13

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    Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it...
    2015ishere 2015ishere 36-40, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I don't have any jokes but I do enjoy them. I make jokes often and love having fun with them. I do know I go overboard with them sometimes but I love having a good laugh and trying...
    Raptax231 Raptax231 18-21, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    This is my joke I made up when I was 6. What do you call someone who eats too many cookies? A PIG Newton
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 9

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    If you are super sensitive about every little thing best stay away from me. And please don't get on this post and rant something along the lines of "well there is a time and place...
    bombchu bombchu 22-25, F Feb 10

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    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Yeah I joke a lot. I'm a smartass and reply with quick stinging insults which I don't expect people to take too seriously. When it does hurt their feelings, I don't apologize. I...
    Frostbitten09 Frostbitten09 16-17, M 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Question And Answer Jokes Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    I now a lot about the birds and the bees but when I make jokes no one like to hear our the don't understand them I like to take out my stress on a game our something like tankI.com...
    spygro spygro 13-15, M 5 days ago

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    I've been hearing too much from rape jokes online, it makes me feel really upset that women were raped and couldn't get over it. Sometimes I believe that they say that they're...
    craz3f8g craz3f8g 18-21 1 Response 23 hrs ago

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    I'm always messing about. I'm someone who people can not understand initially and see me as quite intimidating. Once a person has figured me out and realised I'm always joking or...
    TheCymruAmByth TheCymruAmByth 26-30, M 17 hrs ago

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    Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying? A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    Q: Why did the barber win the race? A: Because he took a short cut.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 hr ago

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    A man tells his friend, "My wife is an angel." His friend replies, "Lucky you. Mine's still alive."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 hr ago

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    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another...
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 28

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    Did you hear about the cannibal who turned up late to dinner? He got the cold shoulder.
    unluckE unluckE 31-35, M 2 Responses Jan 28

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