Off he goes to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money.
He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education...
I recently said something to my sister that was meant to be a joke but she took it personally. The next day she was acting very depressive and my mom said that while talking to her...
My Idea of Foreplay is her screaming "Screw you" and I reply back, "Bite me"
There was this one dude, here on EP, who messaged me saying he was looking for a friend because he thought he might himself. So I talked to him n became his friend. But eventually...
These are my favorite I found on the internet and I would give them credit but I forget a name of that site.
How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
It seems very fake, or "Haha... - That was funny, now lets talk about me again, or let me speak"/"Haha, very funny, now let me tell you what is even funnier"
Very often when i...
Q: What goes Moof?
A: A cow with buck teeth.
Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2015/06/23/
Q: Why blonde jokes are one liners ?
A: So than people can remember them.
[follow for more. No offense to dear blondes ;) ]
I look like the joker or that's what I have been told ,
I really do :p ...but sometimes my jokes aren't funny and can be taken wrong :c so it's not always a great idea.
how come Peter Pan is always flying? Cause he can neverland. I love that joke cause it never grows old XD
Joke time! Picture attached...just found it on FB and want to share it here :-)
Everything in my life ends up failing. My parents devorced, I ended up in farm house parents said I wasnt allowed anything or anyone.
Everytime I gain something better I hear I'm...
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny...
Chuck Norris is allowed to feed the bears.
Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.
The Advil Commandments
So Moses is up on Mount Sinai and he says to God, "God, do I have a pounding headache!"
And God says, "Here, take these two tablets."
One day, a man at a restaurant suddenly called out, "Help! My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he...
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"
"That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, "Now...
Three blondes walked into a bar... You'd think one of them would've ducked
Jack and Jill went up the hill, so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But with a shock, it was a c*ck.
Because Jill's real name was Randy.
Chuck Norris always oversleeps simply because his alarm clock is too scared to wake him up
I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the funeral parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, “Thank you. Please come again.”
Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?