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I Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 29 People

    Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

    Ans: Tequila! de-de-de_de_de_de_de_da
    lipstickgal77 lipstickgal77 36-40, F Nov 8, 2014

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    First Time Sex

    .............. A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic...
    goforbroke goforbroke 41-45, M 4 Responses Jul 12, 2011

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    Hi mate I dealt need your advice,

    I suspect my wife's upto something so I hid in the garage till she came home she pulled up on the drive the interior light came on I saw her fasten her bra and button her blouse up redo her hair and sort out smudged make up she got out of the car and I could see she had ladder'd...
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    Sipho

    Grade 6 pupils sit in the geography class. The teacher points to a map and asks, "Where's Whashington DC? Anyone know?" Sipho puts up his hand and say's, "Yes, I know where". Teacher says "Come show us Sipho". Sipho walks to the map and puts his finger directly on the spot. "Well...
    YBlah YBlah 41-45 Nov 13, 2013

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    Walked into my mate's house

    and said sxxxxt your ceilings high, he said I know, wife's idea, she wanted two rooms knocking into one
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M Nov 28, 2014

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    Young girl tells her mum I know

    where babies come from, mum looks inquisitively and says go on, the girl says the man takes his thing out of his pants and the girl puts it in her mouth and thats how babies are made, her mum smiles and says thats so sweet, but thats how we get flowers chocolates shoes clothes...
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 16

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    Sue asked Linda if she was ok,

    no I have a sore throat said Linda, oh when I het that I give my husband a bxxxxxj and it's better, a few days later sue asks Linda how her throat was, its much better now says Linda,..... Your husband couldnt believe it was your idea at first though!
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    So my friend told me this joke and I thought it was a really good play on words. The joke is Why was the snowman lonely? Because there was snowone to play with! Haha get it...
    alexlovesfashion alexlovesfashion 13-15, F 1 Response 15 mins ago

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    So it's funny to joke about it, is it? It's funny that some people are terrified out of their minds because of the assault? It's funny that last year there was a 29% increase in...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    The 1 in 4 should always be followed up with the 1 in 16. Odds are you know both a rape victim and a rapist. Who do you think will laugh at your joke? Who do you think is gonna...
    Faeriepool Faeriepool 22-25 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    First off, I don't mean for any of this to be offensive at all to Germans nor to followers of Judaism. If it offends you I'm sorry, it is not my intention, and feel free to make...
    TheFenris TheFenris 18-21, M 1 Response May 1

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    Warning: post mentions abuse...between fictional characters and run-on sentences because I'm good at those & maybe even typos because auto-correct+ranting+ not caring will lead to...
    AEHeroine AEHeroine 18-21, F May 8

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    They're just jokes. It's not like a joke is supposed to be taken seriously.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F 1 Response May 17

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    It is hilarious to me when people laugh at their own jokes. Especially when they think it's actually funny. My dad used to laugh at his own jokes, but it was just the best thing...
    RocaAzul RocaAzul 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    One year during middle school, I got my first boyfriend who broke up with me. He hated me so much that on my birthday suggested that he should get me a knife to kill myself on my...
    eedoggie eedoggie 13-15, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Can any body here tell me how I could tell my gf a joke
    Camdenboy Camdenboy 31-35, M 1 Response May 3

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    Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus. (I love anti-jokes cx)
    PendulEmPlum PendulEmPlum 18-21, F May 8

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    I would tell you a UDP joke, but i am not sure you would get it :) HARDY!!! HARRRR!!!!! ARRR!!!!
    nocool nocool 41-45, M 2 Responses May 12

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    MY FAVORITE JOKE EVER Q: What did one lawyer say to the other? A: We're both lawyers."
    midnightmage midnightmage 22-25, M 5 Responses May 14

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    Think that title says it all! Hate being solemn and try to make a joke about everything.
    PeterSp8 PeterSp8 41-45, M 1 Response May 19

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    My boyfriend's new favorite TV show is labeled as "comedy" but most of the jokes fall completely flat. However, some of them are actually pretty funny: Girl 1: If I go into that...
    TGBman TGBman 22-25, M May 19

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    This pic^ isn't a joke but it's kinda funny I guess
    alexlovesfashion alexlovesfashion 13-15, F 6 days ago

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    Q. What should you do to a red elephant? A. Quit telling it dirty jokes.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Need jokes to cheer me up. I'll start. Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: A brick.
    Whjs Whjs 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    So my mom was trying to make food but she hurt her hand. So my sis was like "you can't be cooking mommy" and I'm like "you think you can do these things but you can't nemo!" (Quote...
    YLIhououin YLIhououin 18-21, M 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    An old lady walked into a newspaper office. She approached an employee and said that her husband had died and that she would like to have an obituary appear in the paper. The...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 9 hrs ago

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    A man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 hrs ago

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    Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino? A: Because he was on a roll.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 hrs ago

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    A young devout Christian named David joined a monastery, worked hard, and eventually was allowed to take his vows. He promised to be free of the desire for possessions, to be...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 hrs ago

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    Chuck Norris can pick a lock with an eyelash
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 hr ago

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    What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
    littlecarmel littlecarmel 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    Q: Why did the T-rex go to the doctor? A: Because he had a Dino-sore!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Apr 29

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    Catching The Fish Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Apr 29

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    Q: How do you tell a kebab to be quiet? A: Shh, kebab
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 29

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    Chuck Norris blew out a right front tire on his truck. To fix the problem he simply leaned to the left.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 29

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    Chuck Norris doesn't predict the future. He knows the future.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 29

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    I am going to tell the truth i really really want to have a baby . Why i want a baby to love. I mentor kid in my lifetime now it is my turn to have my own kid. I am single i would...
    lookingforafamily lookingforafamily 41-45, M Apr 30

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