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I Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 33 People

    7lulu 7lulu 41-45, F 5 days ago

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    Walked into my mate's house

    and said sxxxxt your ceilings high, he said I know, wife's idea, she wanted two rooms knocking into one
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M Nov 28, 2014

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    Hi mate I dealt need your advice,

    I suspect my wife's upto something so I hid in the garage till she came home she pulled up on the drive the interior light came on I saw her fasten her bra and button her blouse up redo her hair and sort out smudged make up she got out of the car and I could see she had ladder'd...
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    Sipho

    Grade 6 pupils sit in the geography class. The teacher points to a map and asks, "Where's Whashington DC? Anyone know?" Sipho puts up his hand and say's, "Yes, I know where". Teacher says "Come show us Sipho". Sipho walks to the map and puts his finger directly on the spot. "Well...
    YBlah YBlah 41-45 Nov 13, 2013

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    Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

    Ans: Tequila! de-de-de_de_de_de_de_da
    lipstickgal77 lipstickgal77 36-40, F Nov 8, 2014

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    Young girl tells her mum I know

    where babies come from, mum looks inquisitively and says go on, the girl says the man takes his thing out of his pants and the girl puts it in her mouth and thats how babies are made, her mum smiles and says thats so sweet, but thats how we get flowers chocolates shoes clothes...
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 16

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    First Time Sex

    .............. A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic...
    goforbroke goforbroke 41-45, M 4 Responses Jul 12, 2011

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    Sue asked Linda if she was ok,

    no I have a sore throat said Linda, oh when I het that I give my husband a bxxxxxj and it's better, a few days later sue asks Linda how her throat was, its much better now says Linda,..... Your husband couldnt believe it was your idea at first though!
    isitme48 isitme48 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I piddled in my panties because my laughter forced me to...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F 35 mins ago

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    OK I realize that I'm short and small for my age but I think that all the short people jokes I have to listen to are really getting old. The worst one I've heard is that I am so...
    chloehenderson chloehenderson 13-15, F 2 hrs ago

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    Q: Why don't the Amish water ski? A: Because the horses would drown.
    bethsmiles bethsmiles 22-25, F 3 hrs ago

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    Chuck Norris wouldn't need equipment if he was a RPG character: his roundhouse kick and beard beat any item.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 hrs ago

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    Chuck Norris went into a maze... the maze got lost
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 hrs ago

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    Gallagher is in Boston and he is waiting patiently, also, he is watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stops the flow of traffic and shouts, 'Okay...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 hrs ago

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    A guy comes through the door of his home and sits down in his favorite chair in the living room. His wife hears and peeks her head in from the other room. He hollers out "Hey...
    justmaggie justmaggie 31-35, F 11 hrs ago

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    What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? You don't look like you can take a joke...
    LeMage LeMage 18-21, M 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    A man is worried that his wife is losing her hearing, so he consults a doctor. The doctor suggests that he try a simple athome test on her: Stand behind her and ask her a question...
    Andrewsarchus Andrewsarchus 18-21, M 21 hrs ago

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    Johnny: Will you marry me? Jenny: You have to ask my father first. Johnny: (later) Well, I asked him. Jenny: And what did he say? Johnny: He said he’s already married.
    Andrewsarchus Andrewsarchus 18-21, M 21 hrs ago

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    u people.dont get it for **** can u guys wake up u ante ******* anyone so get ur *** up and go **** urself if suiside is a joke for u we guess wat **** all yall this ante no damn...
    love071902 love071902 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    I tell jokes and tend to have a lot of fun but these times of good humor and fun are often followed by lows and self doubt. I feel insecure and lonely even when surrounded by...
    Tox1979 Tox1979 36-40, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. Also apparently...
    IBelongToAlison IBelongToAlison 41-45, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Obviously the ones who casted Leto as the joker don't. I'm sure there are many talented actors who can be a convincing Joker Leto?? WTF. And I thought casting Affleck as Batman was...
    FrostyElsie FrostyElsie 22-25, F a week ago

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    Santa is a Woman I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 24

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    Boy: wanna here a joke about my penis?..never mind,it's too long ;) Girl: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?..doesnt matter,you'll never get it.
    Rachel282 Rachel282 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 24

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    Fat FeetYo Mamma's so far, a friend showed her a picture of her feet.She didn't recognize them.Read more on page: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/jokes-archive/2015/07/22/
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 23

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    my life is one big joke my dad is putting me in to summer school next week till they come back from from spain and i don't want to go i want to stay at home with my brother he is...
    roseonesex roseonesex 13-15, F Jul 21

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    I don't find it funny at all when people lie about being raped or joke about it. It gets me so aggravated.
    SaffronJade SaffronJade 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 19

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    I heard this joke on the radio today..... Do you know the similarity between a Labrador and a very nearsighted gynecologist? They both have a wet nose!
    whoizzupdude whoizzupdude 46-50, M 2 Responses Jul 17

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    Impractical jokers is life
    preston272 preston272 16-17, M Jul 17

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    I probably joke too much though lol. I just find humor is the best way to relate to people
    ChefJerfey ChefJerfey 18-21, M Jul 15

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    so I was with my aunts and uncles for Tue weekend and I kept getting phone calls to my room . it was my uncles playing a joke on us
    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    Q: What do you call a black man performing a vasectomy? . A: you call him DOCTOR you fvckin' racist. Hahaha how many of you were about to call me the racist and now feel moldy...
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 9

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    I recently said something to my sister that was meant to be a joke but she took it personally. The next day she was acting very depressive and my mom said that while talking to her...
    OtsanaWolf3344 OtsanaWolf3344 13-15, F Jul 4

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    A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery. Woman was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused. After nurse had made her comfortable...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 2

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    My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 2

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    Yo mama so skinny, she only got one back pocket and one front pocket.
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Jul 2

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    Mr. Wong Mr Wong goes to an optometrist to have his failing eyesight checked out. The optometrist runs a battery of tests and comes to a conclusion. 'Mr Wong, I'm afraid you...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 1

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