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I Just Purged

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 42 People

    && I Feel Guilty Either Way.

    Guilty for gaining weight.And now guilty for letting go of all the work I had put into not doing it for these last couple months.I want to be worthy of love.And beautiful.Sometimes, I wish I was someone other than me...Look inside my heart and be amazed.
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 1 Response Oct 14, 2012

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    Couldn't take the fat anymore.

    Made my self through up now cleaning my face cause of me crying
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2014

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    I haven't purged in so same long.

    .. I felt too full after binging and there was nobody here and
    kenzieburr kenzieburr 16-17, F Jul 3

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    Well I'm starting slow my limit is 110.

    I'm 117. Just 7 pounds till my new goal.
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F Feb 5

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    Over And Over Again.

    Its sad and almost makes me want to laugh at the irony. This is one of the few experiences that I have each and every day (sometimes multiple times in one day). I can't remember the last time I went a day without purging. I pray for the day...the one normal day! This has been...
    fighting4life fighting4life 26-30, F Oct 7, 2011

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    xXNeverGoodEnoughXx xXNeverGoodEnoughXx 13-15, F Mar 28

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    I just purged this time.

    . I don't know how much more I'm gonna be doing this but I hope it will be the last.. It surely won't be the last anyway. I don't feel any guilt for doing this. It feels like I never did anything stupid
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 17, 2014

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    Stupid

    I messed up & I don't know why I just flipped out & felt sick. I should never eat with my mom because she makes me so nervous. I hate eating. I hate food. I hate recovery.
    itsjustmelexie itsjustmelexie 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 19, 2007

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    I just purged. I've been clean

    for so long, and it just happened. I felt so full and everybody left I just had too.
    kenzieburr kenzieburr 16-17, F Jul 3

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    Words. Words. Words.

    To make this long story short, i'll keep it simple.Dad gets angry.Dad proceeds to call his bulimic daughter a worthless, lazy, fat *****.Daughter purges. And is very upset.It hit me though, like a ton of bricks. That he would call me fat. The connotation of that word, it ugh...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 2 Responses Aug 2, 2012

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    I was on day 4 on my fast

    and I ate I ate like the fat *** I am!! But I purged it all and took a freezing bath. That's my punishment for doing eating I have to start all over tomorrow....
    anasflower anasflower 16-17, F Nov 12, 2014

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    My Final Stand

    My tooth hurts. A lot. It could be that I haven't stopped purging in the last 3 weeks. I want to say I can't help it, but I don't want to bullshit myself. I could help it if I really tried. Maybe if I tried harder than I am now. I'd have to chain myself to my bed, throw out all...
    sweetskinnytomato sweetskinnytomato 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 18, 2010

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    My Final Stand

    My tooth hurts. A lot. It could be that I haven't stopped purging in the last 3 weeks. I want to say I can't help it, but I don't want to bullshit myself. I could help it if I really tried. Maybe if I tried harder than I am now. I'd have to chain myself to my bed, throw out all...
    sweetskinnytomato sweetskinnytomato 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 18, 2010

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    I just binged and purged.

    ..not proud. Haven't done that in a while. In a lot of pain.
    Lucile199 Lucile199 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 1, 2014

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    Didn't Go Very Well

    Although, in theory, every purge I have I should consider bad-just by its existence- I hate when I have a truly horrible purge. I just did, it was painful, slow, loud, and hardly anything came back up. In addition, I've been more paranoid about getting caught. I don't know why...
    feelingfoolishlame feelingfoolishlame 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2012

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    Note to self: chicken,

    cheese, tomato sauce, sweet chili sauce, orange juice and coffee is not a pleasant mixture to purge.
    Lemons2000 Lemons2000 18-21, F Mar 18

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    It's the first time I've successfully purged a

    lot but I'm freaking out and finding it hard to breath I can't believe I just did that, I have to go outside and join everyone but I don't think I can at this stage.
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F Dec 20, 2014

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    I just purged out everything from today.

    Then I cut twice. Great...
    briguerr18 briguerr18 13-15, F Mar 14

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    Related Experiences

    I purged for the first time in months and my throat hurts sooo badly, I can't even swallow:(
    dcook6 dcook6 18-21, F 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    we children of darkness need to reshape this world.... save those who can't be saved..... so they won't be like us who were cast into the darkness. we should group up and start a...
    blankslayer blankslayer 18-21, M 3 days ago

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    I ate 5 slices of pizza. purged. 3 garlic knots. purged. a whole container of cinnamon rolls. purged. I can't stop the constant over load of food and then the purging all the time...
    yafeelmepenguin yafeelmepenguin 18-21, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    I ate 5 slices of pizza , 3 garlic knots, and a whole package of cinnamon rolls. purged in between each. feel so disgusted and low. why can't I just chop off 20 pounds. feeling...
    yafeelmepenguin yafeelmepenguin 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    Ending a friendship is never an easy thing. I always use to look for closure at the end of any sort of relationship. I realized this year people will always deny you closure as a...
    vault101 vault101 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I managed to fast all day today then tonight my family went to dinner and I purged with no control in front of my family and my mom said " I'm fearing that you are developing an...
    stevieluvsyu stevieluvsyu 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    emotional clearing is a gateway to the next level of development on the individual basis it seems. since yesterday; being emotionally triggered revealed many things perhaps i was...
    Solongotgon Solongotgon 26-30, F Jul 24

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    I'm recovered. I do believe. It's been about 5 months since I last purged or cut. And I really don't feel the need to. Though lately I've been feeling kinda fat.
    yonnie97 yonnie97 18-21, F Jul 22

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    Ok I will address your points as I have time. Pain. All beings with nerves experience pain, but you aren't vegetarian or vegan. Your pro-life perspective is largely influenced by...
    frostyflower frostyflower 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 21

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    #daily Keep yourself so that the wicked one touches you not. 1 John 5:18 We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and...
    giscardnazon giscardnazon 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 20

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    I cried out all the pain. I'm sure I have more to cry out but I need to be purged of all the hurt and baggage. I've been living in hurt and pain for most of my life. I want to...
    HigherCalling HigherCalling 26-30, F Jul 19

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    I recently started again beginning this year. I purged for all the wrong reasons and I wasnt happy. I regret throwing it all out. Its not me or who I am. I know what I like and...
    Averageguy41011 Averageguy41011 41-45, M Jul 19

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    I have a variety of mental illnesses so I must take medications that all have a side effect of weight gain. I am now 5'4 and 140 lbs. I used to be 114 until I had to take these...
    zoesimonesays zoesimonesays 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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