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I Just Purged

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 43 People

    && I Feel Guilty Either Way.

    Guilty for gaining weight.And now guilty for letting go of all the work I had put into not doing it for these last couple months.I want to be worthy of love.And beautiful.Sometimes, I wish I was someone other than me...Look inside my heart and be amazed.
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 1 Response Oct 14, 2012

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    Note to self: chicken,

    cheese, tomato sauce, sweet chili sauce, orange juice and coffee is not a pleasant mixture to purge.
    Lemons2000 Lemons2000 18-21, F Mar 18

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    Didn't Go Very Well

    Although, in theory, every purge I have I should consider bad-just by its existence- I hate when I have a truly horrible purge. I just did, it was painful, slow, loud, and hardly anything came back up. In addition, I've been more paranoid about getting caught. I don't know why...
    feelingfoolishlame feelingfoolishlame 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2012

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    I just binged and purged.

    ..not proud. Haven't done that in a while. In a lot of pain.
    Lucile199 Lucile199 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 1, 2014

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    Well I'm starting slow my limit is 110.

    I'm 117. Just 7 pounds till my new goal.
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F Feb 5

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    Stupid

    I messed up & I don't know why I just flipped out & felt sick. I should never eat with my mom because she makes me so nervous. I hate eating. I hate food. I hate recovery.
    itsjustmelexie itsjustmelexie 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 19, 2007

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    It's the first time I've successfully purged a

    lot but I'm freaking out and finding it hard to breath I can't believe I just did that, I have to go outside and join everyone but I don't think I can at this stage.
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F Dec 20, 2014

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    Words. Words. Words.

    To make this long story short, i'll keep it simple.Dad gets angry.Dad proceeds to call his bulimic daughter a worthless, lazy, fat *****.Daughter purges. And is very upset.It hit me though, like a ton of bricks. That he would call me fat. The connotation of that word, it ugh...
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 2 Responses Aug 2, 2012

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    My Final Stand

    My tooth hurts. A lot. It could be that I haven't stopped purging in the last 3 weeks. I want to say I can't help it, but I don't want to bullshit myself. I could help it if I really tried. Maybe if I tried harder than I am now. I'd have to chain myself to my bed, throw out all...
    sweetskinnytomato sweetskinnytomato 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 18, 2010

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    Couldn't take the fat anymore.

    Made my self through up now cleaning my face cause of me crying
    Kelnea Kelnea 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2014

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    xXNeverGoodEnoughXx xXNeverGoodEnoughXx 13-15, F Mar 28

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    Over And Over Again.

    Its sad and almost makes me want to laugh at the irony. This is one of the few experiences that I have each and every day (sometimes multiple times in one day). I can't remember the last time I went a day without purging. I pray for the day...the one normal day! This has been...
    fighting4life fighting4life 26-30, F Oct 7, 2011

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    I was on day 4 on my fast

    and I ate I ate like the fat *** I am!! But I purged it all and took a freezing bath. That's my punishment for doing eating I have to start all over tomorrow....
    anasflower anasflower 16-17, F Nov 12, 2014

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    My Final Stand

    My tooth hurts. A lot. It could be that I haven't stopped purging in the last 3 weeks. I want to say I can't help it, but I don't want to bullshit myself. I could help it if I really tried. Maybe if I tried harder than I am now. I'd have to chain myself to my bed, throw out all...
    sweetskinnytomato sweetskinnytomato 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 18, 2010

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    I just purged this time.

    . I don't know how much more I'm gonna be doing this but I hope it will be the last.. It surely won't be the last anyway. I don't feel any guilt for doing this. It feels like I never did anything stupid
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 17, 2014

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    I just purged out everything from today.

    Then I cut twice. Great...
    briguerr18 briguerr18 13-15, F Mar 14

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    I haven't purged in so same long.

    .. I felt too full after binging and there was nobody here and
    kenzieburr kenzieburr 16-17, F Jul 3

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    I just purged. I've been clean

    for so long, and it just happened. I felt so full and everybody left I just had too.
    kenzieburr kenzieburr 16-17, F Jul 3

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    I purged for the first time in months and my throat hurts sooo badly, I can't even swallow:(
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    I ate 5 slices of pizza , 3 garlic knots, and a whole package of cinnamon rolls. purged in between each. feel so disgusted and low. why can't I just chop off 20 pounds. feeling...
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