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I Keep A Lot Locked Up Inside

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,515 People

    I have a tendency to keep things bottled up

    inside. I do this quite well. People say it's not healthy, but its never been a problem. If I can help people deal with their own issues then I dont have to deal with mine. I guess I also feel like people have their own problems and don't need to be bothered with my...
    sanchez77 sanchez77 36-40, M Feb 5

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    Done.

    It all started last Christmas. Now before it wasn't that bad but on Christmas morning I realized I was done with life. I believe that if I didn't drop that glass it wouldn't have happened. I was helping my mother set the table for the big breakfast we were going to have. But by...
    CaitiCait1570 CaitiCait1570 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 29, 2013

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    I Usually Have To

    I can't usually talk to friends when I feel upset because I am afraid of annoying them, and driving them away. I've already done that before, and I don't need to be doing that again.
    emipurple emipurple 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2013

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    I still do this... I keep everything locked up

    until I explode, which when I do explode all I do is cry my eyes out and be angry at everyone! It really hurts me and takes away my happiness.
    iliketobealone iliketobealone 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    I use to have a very close best friend

    but she dropped me in high school for some other people she thought was her friends but they turned on her but since I'm not mean I let her be my friend again it I don't trust her and she will never be close to me again, I mainly just tolerate her just until I find something...
    sisi19 sisi19 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    It's time to let it all out!

    !! How I wish he could hear this. This past year that I've been without you. The first few months I was in such pain and sorrow. In a dark place were I would have love to be lost in the shadows never to be seen again. I tried to reach out nothing.. During the middle I tried to...
    Beanbella Beanbella 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 19

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    I know they say its good to talk

    and let our your feelings and usually i do. As i know that they will end up consuming me if i don't give them a voice and allow my thoughts to be set free. But there are still a whole lot of things that i feel that i cannot openly share just yet or even ever. And these are...
    lilreddress lilreddress 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 3

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    There's a lot of stuff not many people no The

    only person that knows a lot if it is my bf and then my parents no almost everything
    Asherstokes Asherstokes 13-15, F Jan 11

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    I'm not as free as I thought I was.

    It's been a year and I am still hopelessly and madly in love with you... God what is wrong with me? Really I can't understand myself. I am insane obviously. The pathetic ex that can't let go. No matter what I try. I went through the motions of the break up phase. Did the...
    Beanbella Beanbella 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 16, 2012

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    It's nearly three am

    and here I am awake debating on what my future outcomes with my lover are going to be. Sometimes I think she spends more time with her friends instead of me even if we did talk about this situation. I would always dedicate time to here late at night just for her when I actually...
    BakaAkira BakaAkira 18-21, F Jul 17

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    I'm pretty sure this is

    why I my down on occasion. I am in a relationship where I am not "allowed" to discuss some things. Major topics are considered off limits. I carry a lot of pain. Occasionally, that burden gets too much to bear alone. I either melt down completely or I seek out someone to share...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 9

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    I certainly have quite a size able past.

    .. I am pretty messed up but what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger :D
    richierich22 richierich22 16-17, M Jan 7

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    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    I don't really know where to begin,

    so I'll start with the 6th grade. In 6th grade, I was the chubby loser who kept quiet. My parents were divorcing because my father cheated, my dog had died, and so had my grandmother. This was the first time a cut. I was afraid of knives, so I literally clipped my skin off with...
    punicorn punicorn 13-15, F Feb 10

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    I don't really see the point in telling anyone,

    they just end up saying your be alright and I just can't. 😔
    Cloclo1234 Cloclo1234 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 25

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    There is a lot of things I don't tell people.

    Mostly things about my depression. The only person I tell everything to is my (one) friend. She always lets me talk to her and listens, no matter what time it is. It can be 4 in the morning and I can knock on her window (we live right next to each other) and she'll let me in and...
    Rebent1101 Rebent1101 13-15, M Apr 6

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    uhhidk uhhidk 13-15, F Feb 25

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    It's kind of like a bubble.

    It gets bigger and bigger and then it explodes, leaving me with tear streaks on my cheeks and scratched open arms.
    absenceofsound absenceofsound 13-15, F 1 Response May 11

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    I'm an emotion bottler,

    I'll admit that. Right now I'm keeping a lot back in regards to my friends, I love my friends but they make stupid, stupid decisions sometimes. The worst offender is my best friend and his ever horrible choice in girlfriends. Now granted it's impossible to find a "quality woman...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 2

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    I can't talk to him. He always gets mad at me.

    He never compliments me ever. No, "you have a beautiful smile" no "I love your eyes" I always have to ask... Today he said he hates sex. He said it was because of his ex...I know he doesn't love me. I'm just his back up so he isn't alone...before we got back together he was...
    moomoocrew moomoocrew 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 19

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    You see my smile but I have a million things on

    my mind and I am hurt and confused...
    annieannana annieannana 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 29

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    I have so much locked up inside

    so much that I hide. I need to let it go but I can't. Everything I feel I keep inside. I have no one to let everything out to. It's just the worst thing ever. Not having anyone to sit and talk to. No one to be there for you. This worlds so lonely. I'm so lonely. I want someone...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 8

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    Do you ever have one of those nights

    where you just get completely assaulted by memories? Where all of sudden everything comes flooding back in a title wave of mixed emotions and left over anger? That's the kind of night I'm having, everything I've bottled up from the last few years, from my last relationship and...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    For one it just takes too much energy.

    I no longer have the energy to talk about anything. I am tired all the time and I don't need to uncover everything I'm feeling. I used to be open with the people I am close to but talking doesn't change anything. So I stopped. I know I need to face what feel to get past it but I...
    tarynjamie tarynjamie 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    Except Here

    Keeping things locked up inside is standard operating procedure for me. Throughout my life, I have had many many friends. I've been blessed to know some very fine people and have spent countless hours enjoying their company in wonderful discussions. I've been praised as a...
    Bfinally Bfinally 46-50, M 3 Responses Nov 22, 2012

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    I have a hard time expressing my feelings

    and most of the time my words don't come out how I want them to so I just keep it inside hoping that things will get better.
    kaylinrae kaylinrae 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 16, 2013

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    There is so much I can't say to you

    that I wish I could. I've known you for 12 years now, you've been my best friend, my boyfriend and the one that caused me more pain than I even knew was possible before we found our way back to the friendship that started it all. You make horrible decisions when it comes to...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait 22-25, F Jul 24

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    Can I?

    Can i just buy a machine gun and shot something a lot? Did this day really have to suck this badly? I literally want to just leave. To just be like screw school, screw people, screw family. And just leave maybe make some stupid decisions and live off of gas station food. Moving...
    treegurl94 treegurl94 16-17, F Nov 4, 2013

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    Masks

    Masks We’re all wearing lies Lies that hide our eyes Lies that hide our pain Lies that hide our shame The lies are not told The lies are not word Quite the contrary The lies are shown We wear them on our faces We wear them with a smile We wear are little lies As soon as the...
    princess41993 princess41993 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 25, 2011

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    She is gone and with her

    so many good years of my life. It would have been easier had I lost her to death, but no...I lost her to another man. Someone she barely knew. He promised that he could love her more than me. I have to laugh at the "Prince Charming" who swooped in to steal the heart I saved...
    vincentriver09 vincentriver09 31-35, M 4 Responses Jan 30

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    I have always kept to myself,

    hiding if I was sad or mad, i shut out my emotions to hide my weakness and insecurities. The kids at school smile and laugh with me when I am falling apart at the seams, but if I told, They would think me as weak. I realized, the key to happiness is to lower your expectations.
    gardenngnostic gardenngnostic 18-21, F Feb 16

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    I am a very talkative person on a daily basis.

    ..however not all what is to be said..is said.I am a reserved person regarding my deepest and honest feelings because I think no one cares...and when someone seems to give you the chance or space to express those I am soon after regreting because of being missunderstood.I gotta...
    4biandu 4biandu 26-30, F Jul 6

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    People don't really care.

    They just tell you everything will be okay in the end. Saying things like that just makes everything worse so I hold it in and bottle it up
    drewskieee drewskieee 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 3

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    I Walk Alone

    I walk alone like one of you, I feel the pain of only few. You look at me you see a smile, its disapears after a while. I let you think that im ok, but im not together in any way. I saw war and blood around, i prayed for peace to be found. I hear vengence wherever i go, you want...
    misshideaway misshideaway 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 16, 2012

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    I keep sooo much inside.

    There's so damn much that I carry on my shoulders. And no one knows about it. My counselor knows a little but not everything. She has atleast secrecy, so I'm not worried about her. It's everyone else I'm afraid of. And everything would be a disaster if it came out. Believe me, I...
    Milliesangel Milliesangel 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    My Happy Facade...

    I use to go to work every day and whenever someone would ask me how I was doing(you know, in that small talk "how's the weather" kind of way), I would always say I was ok, good, fine. Even on the days when I felt a little sick or tired or wished that I had called off that day...
    ChicagoBlues ChicagoBlues 36-40, M 2 Responses Jan 5, 2011

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    Today was a good day,

    let a little more out than normal!! Feeling good about it!
    Froggy420 Froggy420 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 16

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    Why Do I Ask Permission?

    Why do I give you authority? Why do I let you rule my life? Why do I submit to you tyrannic reign? Are you the master of knowledge? Am I out of my senses? Do I need ruler? Why do I deal with it when I don't have to? I ain't your sex slave. I ain't your toy. And you ain't my...
    treegurl94 treegurl94 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 7, 2013

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    A Fragment Of My Life That Has Faded Colors...

    Its been 7 years since then..I don't know why it creeps back to my mind just like that, or haunt my dreams..or is it more appropriate to refer to it as 'nightmares'? Although I would rather treasure it as a dream. But when I wake up with those thoughts back in my mind, I have no...
    hoping2live hoping2live 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2010

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    I'Ve Changed...

    Over the past few years, I have been battling depression. I was in denial for a very long time until I was finally able to admit it recently. But I haven't been able to fully admit it, especially to someone else. In fact, this is probably my deepest secret and I haven't told...
    simplyaly simplyaly 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2013

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    I Locked It All In And Lost The Key!

    I have so many unexpressed emotions and its really effecting me. In the past 5 months ive lost a beloved pet and got heart broken again by the love of my life.Ive cried very little because im afraid that if i start crying i think i wont be able to stop.Ive held back so many tears...
    thefightingangel thefightingangel 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 23, 2012

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    I keep my feeling hidden

    because I feel that if I express them people will not like me and my personality. But, then I think and I know that what ever they have to say does not matter, only what I think of myself will count
    starburst44 starburst44 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 6

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    I can say it everyday in the mirror to myself,

    and I still wouldn't believe it. I'll never be over you. This is something I thought I would never admit. I never thought I'd fall in love with someone much less someone like you. The worse part is knowing I meant everything I said to you that night. I would marry you, without a...
    Wrongfullover Wrongfullover 22-25, F Apr 3

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    sisi19 sisi19 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    Pain? What Pain?

    I am frightfully good at bottling up my emotions and forgetting bad memories. I hate facing my pain, it scares me senseless. I do all that I can to avoid the topic with friends and family. It's sick. I'm sick. But I do not foresee this changing, ever.
    Vellamo Vellamo 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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    Under Lock And Key

    I hold so much stuff inside, mainly to protect myself from being hurt and because i am protecting the very ones that hurt me and have made my mind ''messy''. Sometimes i want to scream and shout and tell the world that i was the one that was the victim, but instead i let them...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 5, 2013

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    My feelings, negative,

    towards other people...that if shared, would make it more difficult for me to stay. here.....
    Shand001 Shand001 13-15, M Mar 6

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    No-one Knows The Real Me....

    As I always put on a mask around others. I pretend that I am happy and cheerful and I pretend I do a lot socially when in fact I don't have a social life or friends. I work with kids and so I have to be happy, it comes with the job title. Nobody knows how I really feel, not the...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F May 14, 2011

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    I never really say what's bothering me

    because I always feel like my problems aren't as important as other peoples because some people are dealing with things that are way worse. It all just builds up and then eventually comes crashing down causing me to cry for hours. I'm so used to being closed off and I don't know...
    sassykayla sassykayla 16-17, F 1 Response May 16

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    Hide Behind A Mask

    Outside lives a girl with a smile that will brighten up the room, yet inside hides a girl with a frown full of dispare. outside lives a girl with eyes of joy that bring you to ease, yet inside hides a girl shedding tears of sadness. outside lives a girl with a beautiful laugh...
    snowy174 snowy174 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 3, 2011

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