I Keep A Lot Locked Up Inside

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,883 People

    I have so much locked up inside

    so much that I hide. I need to let it go but I can't. Everything I feel I keep inside. I have no one to let everything out to. It's just the worst thing ever. Not having anyone to sit and talk to. No one to be there for you. This worlds so lonely. I'm so lonely. I want someone...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

    I never really say what's bothering me

    because I always feel like my problems aren't as important as other peoples because some people are dealing with things that are way worse. It all just builds up and then eventually comes crashing down causing me to cry for hours. I'm so used to being closed off and I don't know...
    sassykayla sassykayla
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 16, 2014

    It's kind of like a bubble.

    It gets bigger and bigger and then it explodes, leaving me with tear streaks on my cheeks and scratched open arms.
    absenceofsound absenceofsound
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 11, 2014

    There is a lot of things I don't tell people.

    Mostly things about my depression. The only person I tell everything to is my (one) friend. She always lets me talk to her and listens, no matter what time it is. It can be 4 in the morning and I can knock on her window (we live right next to each other) and she'll let me in and...
    Rebent1101 Rebent1101
    18-21, M
    Apr 6, 2014

    I can say it everyday in the mirror to myself,

    and I still wouldn't believe it. I'll never be over you. This is something I thought I would never admit. I never thought I'd fall in love with someone much less someone like you. The worse part is knowing I meant everything I said to you that night. I would marry you, without a...
    Wrongfullover Wrongfullover
    26-30, F
    Apr 3, 2014

    For one it just takes too much energy.

    I no longer have the energy to talk about anything. I am tired all the time and I don't need to uncover everything I'm feeling. I used to be open with the people I am close to but talking doesn't change anything. So I stopped. I know I need to face what feel to get past it but I...
    tarynjamie tarynjamie
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 8, 2014

    I keep my feeling hidden

    because I feel that if I express them people will not like me and my personality. But, then I think and I know that what ever they have to say does not matter, only what I think of myself will count
    starburst44 starburst44
    18-21, F
    Mar 6, 2014

    My feelings, negative,

    towards other people...that if shared, would make it more difficult for me to stay. here.....
    Shand001 Shand001
    18-21, M
    Mar 6, 2014

    People don't really care.

    They just tell you everything will be okay in the end. Saying things like that just makes everything worse so I hold it in and bottle it up
    drewskieee drewskieee
    18-21, M
    1 Response Mar 3, 2014

    I don't really see the point in telling anyone,

    they just end up saying your be alright and I just can't. 😔
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 25, 2014
    uhhidk uhhidk
    18-21, F
    Feb 25, 2014

    Today was a good day,

    let a little more out than normal!! Feeling good about it!
    Froggy420 Froggy420
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Feb 16, 2014

    I have always kept to myself,

    hiding if I was sad or mad, i shut out my emotions to hide my weakness and insecurities. The kids at school smile and laugh with me when I am falling apart at the seams, but if I told, They would think me as weak. I realized, the key to happiness is to lower your expectations.
    gardenngnostic gardenngnostic
    18-21, F
    Feb 16, 2014

    I don't really know where to begin,

    so I'll start with the 6th grade. In 6th grade, I was the chubby loser who kept quiet. My parents were divorcing because my father cheated, my dog had died, and so had my grandmother. This was the first time a cut. I was afraid of knives, so I literally clipped my skin off with...
    punicorn punicorn
    16-17, F
    Feb 10, 2014

    I have a tendency to keep things bottled up

    inside. I do this quite well. People say it's not healthy, but its never been a problem. If I can help people deal with their own issues then I dont have to deal with mine. I guess I also feel like people have their own problems and don't need to be bothered with my...
    sanchez77 sanchez77
    36-40, M
    Feb 5, 2014

    She is gone and with her

    so many good years of my life. It would have been easier had I lost her to death, but no...I lost her to another man. Someone she barely knew. He promised that he could love her more than me. I have to laugh at the "Prince Charming" who swooped in to steal the heart I saved...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jan 30, 2014

    I can't talk to him. He always gets mad at me.

    He never compliments me ever. No, "you have a beautiful smile" no "I love your eyes" I always have to ask... Today he said he hates sex. He said it was because of his ex...I know he doesn't love me. I'm just his back up so he isn't alone...before we got back together he was...
    moomoocrew moomoocrew
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 19, 2014

    I certainly have quite a size able past.

    .. I am pretty messed up but what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger :D
    richierich22 richierich22
    18-21, M
    Jan 7, 2014

    So much bottled up because I'm afraid of

    who it will change something or how someone will react or how it will change someone's view of me. I have a complete hidden self from my family
    secretlyfelix secretlyfelix
    22-25
    1 Response Jan 1, 2014

    I keep to myself alot most people

    who know me usually describe me alot but very few of them get it right there is so much about me that they don't know sometimes I want to share with people the real me but I never get the courage to expose myself to them
    Phillis93 Phillis93
    22-25, F
    Dec 19, 2013

    I don't bother anyone

    but people seem to always want to bother me ... I guess I am always going to be a target ... I keep things in because people always assuming before asking me stuff.
    PupLuv09 PupLuv09
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 19, 2013

    I've never been one, really,

    to wear my emotions on my sleeves. If something is truly bothering me, I usually don't talk about it with anyone because I hate being vulnerable in front of people. When I was 14, my cousin died in a car accident. When we went up for his funeral, my father was walking me to the...
    mostofall mostofall
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 17, 2013

    I have a hard time expressing my feelings

    and most of the time my words don't come out how I want them to so I just keep it inside hoping that things will get better.
    kaylinrae kaylinrae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 16, 2013

    I keep sooo much inside.

    There's so damn much that I carry on my shoulders. And no one knows about it. My counselor knows a little but not everything. She has atleast secrecy, so I'm not worried about her. It's everyone else I'm afraid of. And everything would be a disaster if it came out. Believe me, I...
    Milliesangel Milliesangel
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 14, 2013

    I use to have a very close best friend

    but she dropped me in high school for some other people she thought was her friends but they turned on her but since I'm not mean I let her be my friend again it I don't trust her and she will never be close to me again, I mainly just tolerate her just until I find something...
    sisi19 sisi19
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 12, 2013
    sisi19 sisi19
    22-25, F
    Dec 11, 2013

    I still do this... I keep everything locked up

    until I explode, which when I do explode all I do is cry my eyes out and be angry at everyone! It really hurts me and takes away my happiness.
    iliketobealone iliketobealone
    16-17, F
    1 Response Dec 5, 2013

    Stoic

    So, I grew up with a "Drill Sergeant" for a dad.....not a very positive environment to be raised in. As a result I've noticed that I have difficulty expressing my true feelings. I'm the type of person that will bottle things up until i explode. Luckily I've found ways to "vent...
    Dil77 Dil77
    31-35, M
    Nov 20, 2013

    I Usually Have To

    I can't usually talk to friends when I feel upset because I am afraid of annoying them, and driving them away. I've already done that before, and I don't need to be doing that again.
    emipurple emipurple
    18-21, F
    Nov 13, 2013

    Why Do I Ask Permission?

    Why do I give you authority? Why do I let you rule my life? Why do I submit to you tyrannic reign? Are you the master of knowledge? Am I out of my senses? Do I need ruler? Why do I deal with it when I don't have to? I ain't your sex slave. I ain't your toy. And you ain't my...
    treegurl94 treegurl94
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 7, 2013

    Can I?

    Can i just buy a machine gun and shot something a lot? Did this day really have to suck this badly? I literally want to just leave. To just be like screw school, screw people, screw family. And just leave maybe make some stupid decisions and live off of gas station food. Moving...
    treegurl94 treegurl94
    18-21, F
    Nov 4, 2013

    This Is It.

    You've screwed me over. You've ****** me up. You've made me cry. So this is it. Take me away. Bury me. Close my eyes. Let me disappear. I don't care just get me away from here. You have no heart. You have no soul. All you want is to make me less than whole. You shot me, poisoned...
    treegurl94 treegurl94
    18-21, F
    Nov 3, 2013

    I'Ve Changed...

    Over the past few years, I have been battling depression. I was in denial for a very long time until I was finally able to admit it recently. But I haven't been able to fully admit it, especially to someone else. In fact, this is probably my deepest secret and I haven't told...
    simplyaly simplyaly
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 13, 2013

    Emotional Switch

    It's like I have some emotional switch. Whenever I'm around people, engaging in conversation and such, I'm truly happy and optimistic. But when I blank out, there's a million different voices in my head that I feel like I have no control over. Some of the voices are great and I...
    Tazlyn Tazlyn
    18-21, F
    Sep 12, 2013

    What'S The Point.

    I'm sure no one wants to hear all this :-/ I wish I was dead. Only reason I'm not Well cause people tell me that I'm selfish for thinking about it. That if I kill myself it will hurt others 10x worse then I'm hurting Am I suppose to go through days hurting, crying, and...
    Abb50 Abb50
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 9, 2013

    Struggling With Anorexia

    I honestly wish I could go back in time and never have started starving myself..I wish I was normal again..I was never fat I was 5'2 and I weighted 98 pounds..I was pretty skinny..an I would eat so much and never worried I actually wish I could gain weight because I hated...
    perezC perezC
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 6, 2013

    Only One Key...

    Theres only one key, and who has it Ive yet to find out. I go to a therapist every so often, but now I refuse to tell her anything significant. Or anything at all, really. She can be more harmful than helpful, for sure. I tried to explain a situation where I was very calm, no...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    Aug 4, 2013

    Please Don't Linger. My Thoughts Like To Bite!

    I suppose since my wife and I finally had the heart to heart after every fight it is time I open up to everyone. I keep a lot inside. Most people who see me think of me as that goofy guy who is always smiling and dancing at work. I tell jokes and enthusiastically wave to...
    MasterAzrich MasterAzrich
    31-35, M
    Aug 3, 2013

    You Have To In My Case.

    Most people I know don't care how I feel how I think they just want help so I help them and stay silent.
    draganaeros draganaeros
    26-30, M
    Aug 3, 2013

    Yeah

    Because if I didn't my dark my light my memories my smiles everything released it would kill me I would not be able to survive because I've locked it in for so many years
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Aug 2, 2013

    So Do I

    It's a man-thing - we are told as boys to 'man up' & not cry. I've had a crap year, wit my kids, other half, ex & money - but I have to keep going. It's not like I can let it all go, else I may end up in a nervous breakdown. As far as my kids and my other half are concerned, I am...
    Andyc1965 Andyc1965
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Aug 2, 2013

    An Obvious Statement.

    Of course I keep a lot inside. Nobody just walks up to me and says, "I would really like to know everything you have pent up inside." I guess, even if they did, I would probably avoid the topic anyway. Mostly, because I don't trust people. I long to have that person who knows...
    InSydious InSydious
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jul 29, 2013

    Done.

    It all started last Christmas. Now before it wasn't that bad but on Christmas morning I realized I was done with life. I believe that if I didn't drop that glass it wouldn't have happened. I was helping my mother set the table for the big breakfast we were going to have. But by...
    CaitiCait1570 CaitiCait1570
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Jul 29, 2013

    Under Lock And Key

    I hold so much stuff inside, mainly to protect myself from being hurt and because i am protecting the very ones that hurt me and have made my mind ''messy''. Sometimes i want to scream and shout and tell the world that i was the one that was the victim, but instead i let them...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jul 5, 2013

    Just Late Night.

    Just want to fall asleep but know I can't. So typing seems logical until I fall asleep. seems being still makes me think… think about everything. Trying just to relax.
    Night6Wolf Night6Wolf
    18-21, M
    Apr 2, 2013

    I Try To Hide My Emotions But It Never Really Works Because I Vent

    i vent on here a lot so my family won't know that all the smiles i put on my face are really fake.i want them to be happy, so i fake my own happiness sometimes. sometimes i am actually happy but most of the time i am not. if i hold it all in for too long though it bust out like...
    Caitlinsmith1636 Caitlinsmith1636
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 24, 2013

    Except Here

    Keeping things locked up inside is standard operating procedure for me. Throughout my life, I have had many many friends. I've been blessed to know some very fine people and have spent countless hours enjoying their company in wonderful discussions. I've been praised as a...
    Bfinally Bfinally
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Nov 22, 2012

    Lost ,unforgiven For Somthing I Was To Young To Stop It,malistation

    How do you have life,job ,friends,family,when people think something so sick is so funny.would be able to understand if they were uneducated,but the people that give me the worst times are eather lowest of of lowest doing these perverted act to children or the educated who are...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Nov 22, 2012

    I Locked It All In And Lost The Key!

    I have so many unexpressed emotions and its really effecting me. In the past 5 months ive lost a beloved pet and got heart broken again by the love of my life.Ive cried very little because im afraid that if i start crying i think i wont be able to stop.Ive held back so many tears...
    Thefightingangel Thefightingangel
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Oct 23, 2012

    More Than I Should

    I keep a lot to myself. A lot of feelings, dreams, fantasies, etc. If people knew what I really thought half the time...they would lock me up.LOL That's why I don't come out with my feelings very often. When I do, people either blow it off or think I'm just too "emotional...
    RubyLane RubyLane
    46-50, F
    Oct 10, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    1 Response Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    Jul 16, 2012

    My Life Story

    I know you probably don't care, but I'm going to tell you my story anyways. I really need to tell someone this... When I was young (elementary age) my mother overprotected me, but she also verbally abused me, making me feel very self-conscious, and very sensitive, so I cry...
    unisondream unisondream
    13-15, F
    1 Response Jul 16, 2012
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