I Keep A Lot Locked Up Inside

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,885 People

    I often find myself tiptoeing around people in

    order to avoid conflicts, I'd like to be the guy who walks all over ppl and doesn't give a sh!t - just once... But I can't, So I suffer
    Lovehurtstoomuch Lovehurtstoomuch
    41-45, M
    Feb 13, 2016

    I've never told anyone this

    but I have a subside note written and saved on my phone just in case I can't take the pain anymore.
    RainbowsandBowties RainbowsandBowties
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Dec 21, 2015
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Dec 19, 2015

    Sometimes I envy the birds,

    they can just fly away when things get to be too much.
    9yyu7900oom 9yyu7900oom
    18-21, F
    Dec 1, 2015

    The Relapse. Laying in a bed.

    Wondering what it'd be like if you were dead. Not really sad, just kinda in a bad, spot. A rough patch that leaves you in shock. It won't matter, it's just a few cuts. Oops, look who forgot. You've got to see the doc, you have a few days, tops. Googling how to hide it, your...
    UnderTheSleeves UnderTheSleeves
    16-17, F
    Nov 29, 2015

    everything stays in..

    . my emotions, my feelings... the things I want to do... all of it... the love I hold for the people I am close to. everything stays locked away...
    joker364 joker364
    26-30, M
    Nov 22, 2015

    I keep it all locked up inside

    and when people try to get in, I push them away. I just don't know what to do anymore.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Nov 13, 2015

    I suffer from depression

    and I don't want anyone to know.
    jay72007 jay72007
    26-30, M
    Nov 1, 2015
    deleted deleted
    Oct 24, 2015

    When you work at dunkin donuts .

    . With all chicks.. Then your manager finally hires a male. Chicks don't know what to do with themselves... Basically thrown themselves at him poor Kidd smh
    briannemarie86 briannemarie86
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 1, 2015

    "And so I cry sometimes When I'm lying in

    bed Just to get it all out What's in my head And I, I am feeling a little peculiar And so I wake in the morning And I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream from the top of my lungs WHAT'S GOING ON?" (4 Non Blondes)
    funsized1 funsized1
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 22, 2015
    deleted deleted
    Sep 9, 2015

    Most peaple who know me see the stoic

    emotionless act I pull off emotions are a lock up with no key I'm just not ready to feel emotions again I guess will I ever be I'm unchanging my body does not show subconscious reactions so peaple don't get to see the slight sensations I may feel but I can't recognise my own...
    Poisonmyst Poisonmyst
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Sep 7, 2015

    Heard this song on the radio tonight,

    takes me back to days when life was so much simpler. "So true Funny how it seems Always in time, but never in line for dreams Head over heels when toe to toe This is the sound of my soul This is the sound I bought a ticket to the world But now I've come back again Why do I...
    funsized1 funsized1
    41-45, F
    Jul 1, 2015

    Charity suffereth long,

    and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.
    ridge76 ridge76
    26-30, M
    Jun 11, 2015

    I do keep a lot lock up inside .

    I do that for great reasons but I trying to start opening up more
    deleted deleted
    Jun 5, 2015
    deleted deleted
    May 31, 2015

    Sometimes I just want to leave a place,

    rather then stay and tell people how I feel. At some point in a conversation, I built up so much anger or frustration, that I just want.. To go... Forget it and never talk about a thing again... A friend told me once to let all trouble out, by telling someone close my problems...
    CeMi1706 CeMi1706
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 28, 2015
    EboniFrost EboniFrost
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 22, 2015

    I'll be hurt and still try to tear you down

    as well .... Wish I can take a lot of things back say sorry and just go back to how it was before when it was simple and all I did was smile. I no longer believe anything anyone tells me but still doesn't change the fact I push people away friends family and others
    gonegirl23 gonegirl23
    22-25, F
    Feb 6, 2015
    BlitzBallin BlitzBallin
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Dec 11, 2014

    Someone else in this group suggest I write on

    here. Firstly I bottle up how I feel I don't like emotions good or bad. I failed to deal with them for most of my life that is one major reason I ended up 10 years ago an alcoholic. now I don't drink handling emotions and not going off and drinking or something else to change...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 29, 2014

    I kept something locked up

    for almost 12 years before I snapped and I wish I would of just came out a long time before that and just let it off my chest. It killed me keeping it locked inside. I'm so glad I don't have to keep it locked up anymore.
    tigersfan195 tigersfan195
    22-25, F
    Oct 19, 2014

    There is so much I can't say to you

    that I wish I could. I've known you for 12 years now, you've been my best friend, my boyfriend and the one that caused me more pain than I even knew was possible before we found our way back to the friendship that started it all. You make horrible decisions when it comes to...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait
    22-25, F
    Jul 24, 2014

    It's time to let it all out!

    !! How I wish he could hear this. This past year that I've been without you. The first few months I was in such pain and sorrow. In a dark place were I would have love to be lost in the shadows never to be seen again. I tried to reach out nothing.. During the middle I tried to...
    Beanbella Beanbella
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jul 19, 2014

    It's nearly three am

    and here I am awake debating on what my future outcomes with my lover are going to be. Sometimes I think she spends more time with her friends instead of me even if we did talk about this situation. I would always dedicate time to here late at night just for her when I actually...
    BakaAkira BakaAkira
    22-25, F
    Jul 17, 2014

    Do you ever have one of those nights

    where you just get completely assaulted by memories? Where all of sudden everything comes flooding back in a title wave of mixed emotions and left over anger? That's the kind of night I'm having, everything I've bottled up from the last few years, from my last relationship and...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait
    22-25, F
    Jul 7, 2014

    I am a very talkative person on a daily basis.

    ..however not all what is to be said..is said.I am a reserved person regarding my deepest and honest feelings because I think no one cares...and when someone seems to give you the chance or space to express those I am soon after regreting because of being missunderstood.I gotta...
    4biandu 4biandu
    31-35, F
    Jul 6, 2014

    I'm an emotion bottler,

    I'll admit that. Right now I'm keeping a lot back in regards to my friends, I love my friends but they make stupid, stupid decisions sometimes. The worst offender is my best friend and his ever horrible choice in girlfriends. Now granted it's impossible to find a "quality woman...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jul 2, 2014

    You see my smile but I have a million things on

    my mind and I am hurt and confused...
    annieannana annieannana
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jun 29, 2014

    I have so much locked up inside

    so much that I hide. I need to let it go but I can't. Everything I feel I keep inside. I have no one to let everything out to. It's just the worst thing ever. Not having anyone to sit and talk to. No one to be there for you. This worlds so lonely. I'm so lonely. I want someone...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

    I never really say what's bothering me

    because I always feel like my problems aren't as important as other peoples because some people are dealing with things that are way worse. It all just builds up and then eventually comes crashing down causing me to cry for hours. I'm so used to being closed off and I don't know...
    sassykayla sassykayla
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 16, 2014

    It's kind of like a bubble.

    It gets bigger and bigger and then it explodes, leaving me with tear streaks on my cheeks and scratched open arms.
    absenceofsound absenceofsound
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 11, 2014

    There is a lot of things I don't tell people.

    Mostly things about my depression. The only person I tell everything to is my (one) friend. She always lets me talk to her and listens, no matter what time it is. It can be 4 in the morning and I can knock on her window (we live right next to each other) and she'll let me in and...
    Rebent1101 Rebent1101
    18-21, M
    Apr 6, 2014

    I can say it everyday in the mirror to myself,

    and I still wouldn't believe it. I'll never be over you. This is something I thought I would never admit. I never thought I'd fall in love with someone much less someone like you. The worse part is knowing I meant everything I said to you that night. I would marry you, without a...
    Wrongfullover Wrongfullover
    26-30, F
    Apr 3, 2014

    For one it just takes too much energy.

    I no longer have the energy to talk about anything. I am tired all the time and I don't need to uncover everything I'm feeling. I used to be open with the people I am close to but talking doesn't change anything. So I stopped. I know I need to face what feel to get past it but I...
    tarynjamie tarynjamie
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 8, 2014

    I keep my feeling hidden

    because I feel that if I express them people will not like me and my personality. But, then I think and I know that what ever they have to say does not matter, only what I think of myself will count
    starburst44 starburst44
    18-21, F
    Mar 6, 2014

    My feelings, negative,

    towards other people...that if shared, would make it more difficult for me to stay. here.....
    Shand001 Shand001
    18-21, M
    Mar 6, 2014

    People don't really care.

    They just tell you everything will be okay in the end. Saying things like that just makes everything worse so I hold it in and bottle it up
    drewskieee drewskieee
    18-21, M
    1 Response Mar 3, 2014

    I don't really see the point in telling anyone,

    they just end up saying your be alright and I just can't. 😔
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Feb 25, 2014
    uhhidk uhhidk
    18-21, F
    Feb 25, 2014

    Today was a good day,

    let a little more out than normal!! Feeling good about it!
    Froggy420 Froggy420
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 16, 2014

    I have always kept to myself,

    hiding if I was sad or mad, i shut out my emotions to hide my weakness and insecurities. The kids at school smile and laugh with me when I am falling apart at the seams, but if I told, They would think me as weak. I realized, the key to happiness is to lower your expectations.
    gardenngnostic gardenngnostic
    18-21, F
    Feb 16, 2014

    I don't really know where to begin,

    so I'll start with the 6th grade. In 6th grade, I was the chubby loser who kept quiet. My parents were divorcing because my father cheated, my dog had died, and so had my grandmother. This was the first time a cut. I was afraid of knives, so I literally clipped my skin off with...
    punicorn punicorn
    16-17, F
    Feb 10, 2014

    I have a tendency to keep things bottled up

    inside. I do this quite well. People say it's not healthy, but its never been a problem. If I can help people deal with their own issues then I dont have to deal with mine. I guess I also feel like people have their own problems and don't need to be bothered with my...
    sanchez77 sanchez77
    36-40, M
    Feb 5, 2014

    She is gone and with her

    so many good years of my life. It would have been easier had I lost her to death, but no...I lost her to another man. Someone she barely knew. He promised that he could love her more than me. I have to laugh at the "Prince Charming" who swooped in to steal the heart I saved...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Jan 30, 2014

    I can't talk to him. He always gets mad at me.

    He never compliments me ever. No, "you have a beautiful smile" no "I love your eyes" I always have to ask... Today he said he hates sex. He said it was because of his ex...I know he doesn't love me. I'm just his back up so he isn't alone...before we got back together he was...
    moomoocrew moomoocrew
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 19, 2014

    I certainly have quite a size able past.

    .. I am pretty messed up but what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger :D
    richierich22 richierich22
    18-21, M
    Jan 7, 2014

    So much bottled up because I'm afraid of

    who it will change something or how someone will react or how it will change someone's view of me. I have a complete hidden self from my family
    secretlyfelix secretlyfelix
    1 Response Jan 1, 2014

    I keep to myself alot most people

    who know me usually describe me alot but very few of them get it right there is so much about me that they don't know sometimes I want to share with people the real me but I never get the courage to expose myself to them
    Phillis93 Phillis93
    22-25, F
    Dec 19, 2013

    I don't bother anyone

    but people seem to always want to bother me ... I guess I am always going to be a target ... I keep things in because people always assuming before asking me stuff.
    PupLuv09 PupLuv09
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 19, 2013

    I've never been one, really,

    to wear my emotions on my sleeves. If something is truly bothering me, I usually don't talk about it with anyone because I hate being vulnerable in front of people. When I was 14, my cousin died in a car accident. When we went up for his funeral, my father was walking me to the...
    mostofall mostofall
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 17, 2013

    I have a hard time expressing my feelings

    and most of the time my words don't come out how I want them to so I just keep it inside hoping that things will get better.
    kaylinrae kaylinrae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 16, 2013

    I keep sooo much inside.

    There's so damn much that I carry on my shoulders. And no one knows about it. My counselor knows a little but not everything. She has atleast secrecy, so I'm not worried about her. It's everyone else I'm afraid of. And everything would be a disaster if it came out. Believe me, I...
    Milliesangel Milliesangel
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 14, 2013

    I use to have a very close best friend

    but she dropped me in high school for some other people she thought was her friends but they turned on her but since I'm not mean I let her be my friend again it I don't trust her and she will never be close to me again, I mainly just tolerate her just until I find something...
    sisi19 sisi19
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 12, 2013
    sisi19 sisi19
    22-25, F
    Dec 11, 2013

    I still do this... I keep everything locked up

    until I explode, which when I do explode all I do is cry my eyes out and be angry at everyone! It really hurts me and takes away my happiness.
    iliketobealone iliketobealone
    16-17, F
    1 Response Dec 5, 2013


    So, I grew up with a "Drill Sergeant" for a dad.....not a very positive environment to be raised in. As a result I've noticed that I have difficulty expressing my true feelings. I'm the type of person that will bottle things up until i explode. Luckily I've found ways to "vent...
    Dil77 Dil77
    31-35, M
    Nov 20, 2013

    I Usually Have To

    I can't usually talk to friends when I feel upset because I am afraid of annoying them, and driving them away. I've already done that before, and I don't need to be doing that again.
    emipurple emipurple
    18-21, F
    Nov 13, 2013

    Why Do I Ask Permission?

    Why do I give you authority? Why do I let you rule my life? Why do I submit to you tyrannic reign? Are you the master of knowledge? Am I out of my senses? Do I need ruler? Why do I deal with it when I don't have to? I ain't your sex slave. I ain't your toy. And you ain't my...
    treegurl94 treegurl94
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 7, 2013
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