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I Keep Too Many Things to Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 31,826 People

    I don't say what I want,

    so I never get what I want. I have alcohol hidden in the house. I have a secret lover. I have a journal that no one can read. I do not tell people my thoughts or opinions. I am locked in this polite persona. It is what makes me "successful" but it is also very stifling...
    Directionless450 Directionless450 41-45, M 5 Responses Apr 27

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    whydoeseveryonehateme whydoeseveryonehateme 16-17, M May 5

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    I'm tired, it's 4:26AM

    and still can't sleep. I really hate my self. a lot of problems come from my family, my university, my job. and no one seems understand. really tired
    metome metome 22-25, M 3 Responses May 7

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    I keep many things to myself due to trust issues

    that appeared after my friend changed. Especially when we fought and she got her group to threaten to beat me up. Especially when she saw me cry and laughed along with her new friends. Especially when she still believes she didn't do anything wrong to this day.
    MisunderstoodGirl69 MisunderstoodGirl69 13-15, F 3 Responses May 17

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    I love my parents, but sometime I wish I was

    never born because of all the debt and struggles they had to endure to raise me. I feel like I am a burden to them. That's why I don't want kids of my own.
    sinceremarcus sinceremarcus 22-25, M 3 Responses May 7

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    Here Are My "secrets"

    Since nobody I'm referring to can read this (hopefully), I'm going to list the things that I've been keeping to myself. Dad, I still don't know why you abandoned me ten years ago and started a new family for yourself. You moved across the country and I never hear from you, so...
    lostinwunderland lostinwunderland 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 30, 2011

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    My heart breaks for someone

    who was never mine.
    sleonard777 sleonard777 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 29, 2014

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    It's not that I don't share a lot of what goes

    on in my head, I just don't point out some of the spectacular things happening around me. I won't point out the lovely contrast of the colours of two different flowers, I won't tell my friend how wonderful the rain feels on my face. I'm not sure why I don't verbalize how I'm...
    LetMeFIy LetMeFIy 13-15, M Feb 5

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    Me And My Sister Live A Life Of Emotional

    Neglect and Im Depressed, But I Love My Family So I Always Take Care Of Them, But They're Mad All The time And My Cousin Constantly Talks About Me And I Already Hate Myself, And I Cant Accept My Mom In My Life Because She Never Accepted me For Who i Am. Im Alone And I need A...
    Tdollablind Tdollablind 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    My Grandfather died on 4/21 I hated his guts

    and I don"t know how to feel. He manipulated me and lied to me and my mother he divided our family and left us homeless. I can't go to his funeral.....which is today.
    DeathByPandemic DeathByPandemic 70+, M 11 Responses May 2

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    everyone else just tells me what they are going

    to do and they tell me what they want, yet I have such a hard time doing the same. I want to walk away from people who don't deserve me but I can't because I am afraid I'm going to be alone. Also no one would care if I did.... can anyone relate?
    ameyer09 ameyer09 22-25, F 2 Responses May 11

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    I actually hate keeping things to myself.

    Most of the time I want to tell everyone the truth about all the secrets I keep- depression, self-harm, etc.- because when I keep quiet about everything it builds up inside me until I'm on the verge of exploding. But I can't tell anyone any of it, because I need to be self...
    kaleidoscopic21 kaleidoscopic21 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 17, 2014

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    One of my friends tell me I have too many

    secrets, honestly not really. I've just never been able to trust someone enough to let them in on my life. I'm outgoing, the thing is people underestimate me. They look at me and assume my exterior is all there is. Still waters run deep, if you want to get to know me then by all...
    RainHailOrShine RainHailOrShine 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    I dont talk about the past

    because I am not aloud, I dont talk about how I feel cuz I dont know how to express it, I dont talk about what is really going on in my head because I dont think anyone will understand or Im terrified someone will lock me up in a mental asylum. I dont talk or tell anyone about...
    lilbit33 lilbit33 22-25, F 2 Responses May 15

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    I'm slowly beginning to resent my partner.

    I'm not sure when it started, but I feel like I've had to hold back and haven't stood up for myself when instead I should. There's a lot of useless bickering that goes on until no end and if I stand up to some of the things that happen or what he says that hurts he denies it and...
    theincarnated1 theincarnated1 26-30 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    The worst thing you can do to your____ what

    then happened to your ______ lol Does anyone have a good quote
    whydoeseveryonehateme whydoeseveryonehateme 16-17, M 1 Response May 5

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    Music keeps me alive.

    Literally I was about to do something that I'm not proud to announce, when I just stopped. And I told myself that I could make it. I broke down and just… sang to myself, barely above a whisper, for at least an hour. Whenever I feel the world is mad at me(which is often) I just...
    SoulIsAGirl SoulIsAGirl 13-15, F May 10

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    I tend to just swallow my emotions

    and I've definitely never been a big fan of talking about how I feel. This site has become a spot where I feel I can unload some of those feelings...whether this is a healthy practice remains to be seen.
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 4 Responses Mar 11

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    i wish to apply this one "Never allow someone

    to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”
    KAREEM77 KAREEM77 36-40, M 1 Response Nov 25, 2014

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    I do share somethings,

    but most of the time I keep my real problems to myself. I don't want people to worry about me, nor do I think anyone could understand. Putting things out in the open has never really helped anything, so its safer to keep everything bundled deeply inside myself. No one needs to...
    LostInElizabeth LostInElizabeth 16-17, F 1 Response May 5

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    Safer. That way. Not hurt

    and no misunderstandings
    pettypet pettypet 51-55, M Apr 19

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    Why won't this on person answer me like we've

    been best friends for awhile
    whydoeseveryonehateme whydoeseveryonehateme 16-17, M 1 Response May 5

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    I'm Already Sorry I Wrote This.

    Fair warning to the few of you cherished fans and friends who actually look for some sort of coherence from me: this is a brain dump, and may not actually make any sense at all.I want to learn how to trust again. I don't feel like I can be in any relationship with anyone that...
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit 31-35, F 10 Responses Mar 26, 2012

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    I'm not happy anymore

    but people think I'm happily married 😔
    aylavyu aylavyu 36-40, F 2 Responses May 6

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    I'm not the one to openly tell people how I feel

    unless your a close friend or my family. As I've seen friends and close people come and go I've learned that the depths of your mind and your thoughts can be your best friend in the worst times
    GodlySmith GodlySmith 16-17, M Jan 14, 2014

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    I wish I could be more open about my feelings

    and thoughts but I can't. I guess I care way too much about what other people think and that sucks.
    chelly0k chelly0k 18-21, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Anytime that I'm feeling more sad

    than other days, I call them the "I have no hope" days. I act way more weird that I would usually act to the point where I have to tell myself to settle down and that I'm being annoying. I always try to convince myself that I'm happy and it never works. I haven't been extremely...
    m4riiam m4riiam 16-17, F 2 Responses May 17

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    CloudyForest CloudyForest 13-15, M 1 Response Apr 12

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    I don't like working in the hospital

    but I need to for experience. hospital experience is essential and will serve as bridge to my dream. And so I need to sacrifice. I tried applying to almost all hospitals nearby but they kept on telling me that I don't have enough experience, or I am not qualified for the...
    icedwithin17 icedwithin17 26-30, F May 6

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    I met my wife on the internet from Spain she

    was pregnant we talked for 7 mths before we decided to meet. 3mths after she had her son which I named they both flew to the U.S. I pick they from the Airport @ went to my mothers to meet @ that didn go well after that there's been nothing but drama for 6yrs. None of my family...
    Vafamly Vafamly 36-40, M 6 Responses May 6

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    I am so used to not telling anyone any thing

    that I don't even know how to express my feelings. I have kept so much bottled up inside of me. it hurts. I have become so used to the pain that I feel numb. I feel as if my feelings don't matter so I don't talk about it. a lot of times I feel I cone across as being negative and...
    laceeann laceeann 41-45, F 1 Response a week ago

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    There are many reasons

    that I keep things to myself. the #1 reason being that the majority of the world just doesn't give a ****. The few who do give a **** would leave me if I did tell them what I'm thinking. So there really is just no reason to talk. Unless spoken to. And then I say just enough...
    GirlEnigma GirlEnigma 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 23

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    so ya i keep my relationship to myself mainly

    because im not alowed to say anything to anyone. so keeping things to myself im pretty good at it. i can hear his word " dont say anything baby cuz u know what wil happen if u do " but sometimes id just like to get it out and talk to someone just once not so the would help me...
    katie1106 katie1106 22-25, F 2 Responses May 15

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    I feel like breaking down any second soon,

    even few words from a silly song make me freeze when they remind me of what I dont want to be reminded of..
    GRda GRda 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 14

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    aliyafaith aliyafaith 22-25, F 6 Responses May 12

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    I keep thinigs to my self

    because I'm very selective about who I open up to. You can't talk to everybody about everything. I have no problem being open and getting things off my mind because I know that holding things in make it worse, and when in good company I can be sarcastically hilarious and silly...
    MJP88 MJP88 26-30, F 6 Responses Apr 14

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    It takes every bit of will power I have not to

    sit and cry at work. I moved to another state a few months back for my job. My boyfriend was coming down later. He was supposed to be here on Monday. He texted me in the morning saying that he was leaving. And then nothing. Nothing on Monday, even when I asked if he knew when...
    thelasttoknow thelasttoknow 31-35, F 2 Responses May 7

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    It makes me sad that I can open up to strangers

    easier than I can open up to the people who are close to me. With them, I keep everything inside.
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Nov 4, 2014

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    There are two rules for success.

    ..: 1- Never reveal everything you know
    maxifel maxifel 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 21, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 21

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    Sometimes I don't feel i have friends.

    I mean i have few but i'm not sure if they are real ones and i often feel alone :(
    Ladylockedheart Ladylockedheart 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 5

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    whydoeseveryonehateme whydoeseveryonehateme 16-17, M May 5

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    there are things about me

    that no one knows.... it's almost as if I live a double life... I want to tell someone ... yet I don't want to be judged or have people micro managing me after they find out.... goshhh
    cherBearCJ cherBearCJ 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    recently I've come to realize I have no one in

    my life who I can turn to. yes I have "friends" at school but when it comes down to talking about what's on my mind I can't seem to do it. I feel more comfortable talking to strangers than the people in my life. my depression has gotten really bad and without having a person to...
    lillali lillali 70+, F 5 Responses Mar 6

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    I feel so alone. I know it's entirely my fault

    for isolating myself, and that makes it worse. I spend too much time locked up in my own head. Nobody from my old school cares about me for anything other than my ability to do their homework for them or act as a free therapist when they want help. Nobody at my new school cares...
    MurderAndCreate MurderAndCreate 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    All this while i kept my feeling towards you.

    .. Now, u become someone's special. I regret that i did not make the first move. I guess there is no right nor wrong for a girl to make the first move so that the one that she admired for so long will not be taken by others.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 14

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