I Kids Say The Funniest Things

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 90 People

    According To Aiden Swimming Is No Big Thing

    Swimming lession # 3 Instructor; '  Today we will put our heads under the water and hold our breath'. Aiden;  ' No thank you, not today" Instructor;  Why not Aiden?' Aiden; " 'Children shouldn't put their heads under water, it's not safe" Instructor;   'Well..it would be fun...
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Feb 11, 2012

    According To Aiden He's A Clothes Horse

    Little Aiden gets a new pair of big boy dress slacks for the holidays.  Nice navy blue, little tan belt with red trains going around it .  (He's up to size 4 T now)Slips them on, puts his hand in a pocket..we see him walk away  and hear him say  quietly,  as a matter of fact...
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    4 Responses Dec 2, 2011

    Aiden Knows Himself

    A lot of us know what we're all about. But a three year old?Playing on th floor with about 50 little toys.  'Aiden' I say,  time to clean up so we can go outside to have an adventure. Aiden runs for his shoes..I told him he has to clean up the cars before we go  ." But gramma...
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Aug 10, 2011

    Kids Say The Funniest Things

    I'm just in love with my godhild Ellie . She screams " I am cute! I am small! I am pink!" . She also tells me things like " You have a big bum - I have a small bum. Your belly is YUCKY!"  Mmmm. She won't eat my delicious chocolate mouse because it " Looks like poo." Here...
    cocopops40 cocopops40
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Mar 11, 2010

    Grocery Shopping

    I hate going grocery shopping with my kids in tow.They constantly bug me for things. So I have to say no to a lot of things and have to deal with them getting upset. One day my son was begging me for some of those kid cuisine tv dinners. I knew it would be a complete waste of...
    howsab howsab
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Aug 22, 2011

    # 183 The Name Game (or Grrrrrrrr)

    One of my great granddaughter's  names is Arianna. (2 1/2yrs)   Her cousin Elizabeth can't quite say it. She says Ari nana. Arianna was trying to teach 4yr old Elizabeth to say her name the right way. She said "Lizzie, my name is Arianna, not Ari nana." Lizzie agreed, "U-huh...
    DragonBlue DragonBlue
    Mar 21, 2011

    Tips On Love By Kids 5 - 10 Years Old (part Two)

     WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?    "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the      wedding."  (Jim, 10)               "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a...
    pookiem pookiem
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Jul 16, 2011

    According To Aiden He Spells Just Fine

    While overhearing his Mom spell a word over the phone ( probably not suitable for 3 year old ears) Aiden...."Well,  H I J K L M N O P   and P is for pyramid!  I pee on Pyramids!, so there!  "     don't forget Mom, Little pitchers have big ears....
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Sep 22, 2011

    According To Aiden Grandma Needs To Cool It

    Mom explains:   Aiden, I'm going to call Grandma so she can come over and watch you today.Aiden:  " No no no Mama !"' Why Aiden, I'm surprised.Why do you say that?'"Cuz Grandma will put on lipstick, get rowdy and get in a lot of big  trouble! "......huh? " Cops don't like...
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Feb 27, 2012

    Not Me!

    Two days ago I was out in the yard with my children. My youngest step-son, 5 years old, had made a big mess -- he and his clothes and a patio table were covered in mud. "Who's going to clean up this mess?" I asked (rhetorically). "Not me, I'm making it!" he replied. True...
    accomplice accomplice
    46-50, M
    1 Response Apr 21, 2013

    My Kids Brighten My Day, Everyday!

    I have several short stories. So I was putting lotion on Ashley, my daughter one night after her bath and she ask me how old I was and I told her I was 34 she then looks at me and says oh your going to heaven next week. WHAT???? I guess she thinks I am old. I am hoping that is...
    deleted deleted
    7 Responses Nov 18, 2011

    According To Aiden He's Working Too Hard

    Aiden is a busy 3 yr old; Taking his little watering can to the flower bed. " I need to give them a drink Grandma, it's my job".Shoveling dirt into his big truck, " what's are you doing with the dirt Aiden?"     "I'm fixing the bricks Grandma, it's my job"Pounding on the end...
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Sep 1, 2011

    Outta The Mouths Of Babes....

    Actually getting a day off for me right now is something of a wonder...however today it did happen (finally) so what better way to spend my day off....babysitting my friends 3 yr old daughter!!! However this little terror could put a smile onto the the most hardened hearted...
    garners garners
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 4, 2012


    My kids are the light of my world. I swear, they say and do the darenst cutest thing. Yesterday, my 5 year old was in the grocery store with me. We checked out and loaded our car. When we got in our vehicile, it dawned on me that I forgot to pick up eggs. So the two of us...
    joiebobby joiebobby
    Jun 15, 2011

    According To Aiden

    My Grandson,Aiden, is 2 1/2  yrs old.   While  "talking" to Thomas the train on the Video remote control, Aiden messed up the channels. "Oh Oh, you broke it", I joked with him.  "No Ma maw, YOU broke it".  "You did it Aiden"..  "No you did it Ma maw".  Humm.."I'm pretty...
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Mar 13, 2011

    According To Aiden He's Depressed

    Time to get dressed for school.Mom says, " Aiden go in and put your underwear on".   Aiden, " I can't Momma, I have the blues!"   His Mom explained to him, " in this family we wear our underwear even if we are sad!   Go put them  on please."     Aiden slumped over...
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    6 Responses Jun 21, 2011

    Tips On Love By Kids 5 - 10 Years Old (part One)

     WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?   "Eighty-Four",  Judy, age 8 says, "because at that age you don't have to work anymore and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." "Once I'm done with Kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." says Tom...
    pookiem pookiem
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Jul 4, 2011

    First Day Back At School

    A new 2nd grade class was walking thru the lobby of school with their teacher.  Two boys were making loud quacking noises and the school secretary reminded them that they needed to be quite in the Lobby.  Their teacher a little embarrased, asked "Who is making those quaking...
    dare2love dare2love
    56-60, F
    Aug 26, 2011

    According To Aiden

    Mom's home cooking is the best. "Aiden,  do you want to go to MacDonalds for some  MacNuggets?"    "No Mamaw. I want to go to my MacHomewhere mommy cooks good for my tummy!        Kid's are food critics too...............
    wiseowl wiseowl
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Apr 16, 2011
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