I'm not crazy; I've just been in a bad mood for the last 27 years.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.
I'm the type of person who tries to fall back asleep in the morning, just to finish a dream..!!!
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
Every organisation is perfectly designed to get the results they are getting.
Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer.
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Time heals all wounds. I broke your watch
Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.
Our conscience is clear- we don't use it.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
Fighting for peace is like ******* for virginity.
People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.
Avoid arguments about the toilet seat...use the sink...
I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have film.
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the...
After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF!