I am busy contemplating my future. Don't worry, this will only take a minute.
Don't tell me I don't know the difference between right & wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
I've been waiting for the bus so long, someone just stapled a lost cat flyer to my chest.
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and **** you off at the same time.
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.
if I wasn't crazy, then I'd be dead....
life made me crazy
I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.
Legends don't die... I am a living example!
I don't mean crazy in a good way i mean crazy bad. Everyone at school thinks i'm crazy and wired because I wear stuff the make me look like a nerd. They say i'm strange and no one...
My resumé is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
Do you want to speak to the manager or someone who know's what's going on?
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
I don't do different things... It's just that I do things differently!
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.
I'm not crazy; I've just been in a bad mood for the last 27 years.
The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.
Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.