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I Know My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 106 People

    OH – MY – GOSH – YES – THERE – IS

    – A – SANTA. Something made me watch BECOMING SANTA, a movie for which I had seen no recommendation at all, other than the fact that it is a Christmas movie. It turned out to be about 'real world' guys who play Santa. I stuck with it, all the while thinking how odd it...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    An Ocean Of Flowers

    I flew, speckled with luminous electricity, A crazed dragonfly, with black sea-horses for escort When dreams were crushing with bitter blows My skies of ultramarine were burning Into the unknown yellow ochre orb ... It was then that I saw an ocean of flowers    
    THEMADHATTERXXXX THEMADHATTERXXXX 46-50, M Oct 7, 2011

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    Know My Heart

    Why do I pray? Do I pray to say I prayed an hour? Why do I love? Do I want you beholden to me? Why do I help? Do I help to hear my name called out? And why do I sing? Search me and know my heart, Oh God. See if there is any wrong thing in me All I have ever really wanted...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 7, 2011

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    Dweller In Multiple Worlds

    I'm beginning a walk.  A tour of a farm,  of struggles and achievement.  Of nothing.  I leave out that which would cause purposeless sorrow. It's 1940.  The  fence is clear of brush, has sturdy posts, and the wires are stretched tight enough that you can climb...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 11 Responses May 6, 2011

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    And I Thought I Had Been Living Simply.

    I find getting old to be a very great pleasure as I sit in my not uncomfortable chair.There’s no desire for a magazine or a computer or TV or phone or backrub or window view—actually, not even for chocolate.. Inside there is comfort.  It’s very interesting inside.  There...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 10 Responses Nov 9, 2012

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    What would it say, if my heart could speak?

    It would tell you a most horrific story, one of constant pain and near torture. It did not have to suffer, it could have chosen to stop at any time. Instead it chose daily to take the path of agony, daily to feel the pains, daily to be tortured and tormented .... and it chose...
    Extant1 Extant1 51-55, M 5 Responses Mar 11

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    As Good As Any Revenge

    My mother was strong and my dad wasn’t. He was fifteen years older than she. Before he died, after he needed care and came to live with us, Daddy told me he was afraid that Mother was going to give everything to my little brother and that he would fight her to get anything...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 14 Responses Mar 30, 2012

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    Romance is Divine

    Romance is divine When one's romance is with the Divine.
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 3 Responses May 31, 2011

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    In

    It is a place of friendly shadows, with lichen and mushrooms and fairies. Her feet go soft on moss, and she can lie on her stomach with the cosmic lover and watch fishes in clear greeny pools. The beauty makes her eyes mist. This is why she loves being alone.
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2011

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    The Lover

    OUT THERE IN THE WORLD COGNIZED BY MIND   THE LOVER IS UNSEEN AND RARELY SUSPECTED,   THE CARESSES ASSIGNED TO A SOURCE OTHER,   THE GIFTS TAKEN TO BE THEIR OWN PROGENY. 
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 1 Response May 13, 2011

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    Training A Child In The Way He Should Go -- Aka -- A Harsh Environment Demands That A Child Learn To Accept Responsibility

    This is the story, told by The Gypsy,  of a climb she made out of the Grand Canyon with a party of Havasupai, and of a boy's adventures on that trip. The child had been told, the night before, that they would be accompanying the group setting out the next day to gather pine nuts...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 3 Responses Feb 2, 2012

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    Soft-Hearted

    Well, I was told to stay away from animals... family does not allow to have any pets.. but I guess a dog changed my heart.. India has many stray animals.. I was in college living away from home.. Once I saved a little pup who couldn't walk - from a herd of locals dogs out to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 27, 2013

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    Favorite Experience Recorded in My Journal

      I loved riding along the California coast and enjoying the plants, so different from those of the desert and of the Midwest.   Five years before the events of this story Hubby had decided we would move back to the Midwest, and separation from folks who had given me support...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 8 Responses May 29, 2011

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    Lifes Blessings

    Before you were born, before any sonogram could tell me, I knew your sex. Before any pregnancy test could tell me, I knew you were growing inside of me. I knew I loved you before any doctor or test told me that you were there. When you were born, the pain was forgotten when you...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 10, 2011

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    Meeting a Mystic, a Disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda

    She was young and I was young, but she was mature enough to be called a spiritual giant, and I was mature enough to know that it was true.   When I saw her across the lawn my homing instinct took me, and as she walked here and there I floated, entranced, behind her right...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 9 Responses May 15, 2011

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    And it knows me. Indigo

    or autistic is possible. So i must learn more. Or just love being caring.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Mar 12

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    The Love Egg

    There were strange events surrounding the group of young men with whom our son met often, and he remembers it a little differently than I do, but he didn’t record it and I did. Here’s one of the events, another story from the front of my journal. It was a nice group of teen...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 2 Responses Oct 17, 2011

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    We Consciously Tried To Be No Bother

    We went back to our spot near Sedona and saw the beautiful comfortably settled-in homes that look out across the valley, just like we used to do while sitting in our folding lawn chairs next to a wait-a-minute bush.  We couldn't actually deny a certain beauty of freshly...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F 8 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    The Mystic's Pain

    If the sky were to become purple-black and rain searing green fire all ‘round, it would have nothing to do with the the feelings in a mystic’s heart.    But when he makes an opening between his fingers and looks out, he hears our cries--our suffering because we haven’t...
    nelladell nelladell 66-70, F May 15, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I gave you my heart and all I had, but it seems to me like you don't even care. You rather be with your friends, and front to be a single man.but when we're alone its just...
    rogi123 rogi123 36-40, M 12 hrs ago

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    Girlfriend, or ex girlfriend I should say, recently left me for god knows what reason. Now I can't do anything I used to do as it reminds me of her. I haven't even slept in my own...
    JonnySlackMallon JonnySlackMallon 22-25, M 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    My Indian boyfriend broke up with me, he said the feelings fade away. I was crying over our phone call, i beg him not to leave then he got convinced, he stayed but after one week...
    kishmishshekhar kishmishshekhar 18-21, F 3 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    this is for Kristen I love her and I hope she does the right thing cause I love her ----------------- It's hard enough to be a man in this world all alone, Paying bills and...
    Angelicguitarist85 Angelicguitarist85 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    My username on this account right now is blankcheck4urhart. It used to be nsquaredmeanshartspaired. I will give the reasons for both. Blank check for your heart means that the man...
    blankcheck4urhart blankcheck4urhart 36-40, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It's probably not really a broken heart but more of a broken ego. I'm not sure. I met a guy whom I started knowing through an online dating website. (At that time, I was nursing...
    Ichizu Ichizu 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    I'm always seeing how girls want their guys to cuddle hang around all the time they want their boyfriend to accept that they are clingy...I've been ugly my whole life going thru...
    heavydutyfoo heavydutyfoo 22-25, M Mar 11

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    So... Here I am. With another chip in my pride and ego. Ever since the end of my long term relationship. Everything in my love department has been going downhill. Literally. Every...
    Ichizu Ichizu 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    Honestly Im only 17 years old, and i know i have life ahead of me, but sometimes i like to think if it hard now , then how harder will it get, will it really get better or will we...
    thatgirlalbana thatgirlalbana 16-17, F 5 days ago

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    So I fell you Tim we started talking months ago ,he took a piece of my heart ,it took me a year to trust and wow it was taken again from me and its just making me stronger and...
    monica0215 monica0215 51-55, F 4 days ago

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    I let my heart and my mind integrate and work as a team. When you follow your heart more, and your mind sees the results, the intgration will naturally occur. However, you have to...
    Zelaleme Zelaleme 46-50, F 3 days ago

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    What is wrong with holding a door for a lady? l was raised to be a gentleman and to treat ladies with respect and manners! l still believe in helping a lady with her coat, pulling...
    PSULLY63 PSULLY63 46-50, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am 17 years old and I don't know what I want to do with my life. Even though I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, I know that most of my classmates already know what they...
    Jasliet Jasliet 16-17, F 14 hrs ago

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    nobody knows the real me. nobody knows how many times ive sat in my room and cried, nobody knows how many times ive lost hope, how many times ive been let down. nobody knows how...
    K33024W K33024W 13-15 1 hr ago

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    it began as a one night stand... then it turned into 2... then 3.. then 4... and before i knew it.. i had a FWB 2-3x a week... and i wasn't the only one he was seeing i was...
    callme77 callme77 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 6

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    uo knw .. its about 2 years ,..she left me..she cheated me ..and went for the other boy ...the boy was my friend...v were together for 2 years...i was in pain for 6 months ...i...
    abdulrahman1998 abdulrahman1998 18-21, M Mar 8

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    I'd like to share my story. I'm 24, he's 19. I'm already working, he's still a student. I'm a Muslim, he's Catholic. It was very wrong from the very beginning yet I still pushed...
    Jojane Jojane 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 16

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    I'd like to share my story. I'm 24, he's 19. I'm already working, he's still a student. I'm a Muslim, he's Catholic. It was very wrong from the very beginning yet I still pushed...
    Jojane Jojane 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 16

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    The love of my life. We were together three years and some months. It was love at first sight. We spoke and we just connected on a whole different level. I saw him for who we was...
    DeluxedEdition DeluxedEdition 18-21, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    OMG! There is some justice in this world I'm telling you! I don't even know where to start! Yesterday HER husband found out about her and my J's affair! He read their messages on...
    robin1001 robin1001 26-30, F Mar 15

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    I met this girl in grade 7, lets just call her J. I didn't really get to know her that well till grade 9 but I did know that something about her seemed different to me than the...
    thatonegirlinthecorner thatonegirlinthecorner 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    Your Heart Is My Home.!.! Whenever you feel that darkness is falling on you, whenever you feel there is nothing you could do, i will be there even before a word you could say, to...
    nivanvc nivanvc 36-40, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    What does it even mean to have a "broken heart"? Sounds silly. Firstly, your real heart pumps blood around the body for survival... It's not that mythical place in your chest that...
    missssyme missssyme 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    My boyfriend, or should I say long distance boyfriend, lives on the other side of the world. A 26 hour plane ride away. I just came back in January from seeing him. When I left, it...
    inevitablebliss inevitablebliss 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 3

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