I Know My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 136 People

    Dweller In Multiple Worlds

    I'm beginning a walk.  A tour of a farm,  of struggles and achievement.  Of nothing.  I leave out that which would cause purposeless sorrow. It's 1940.  The  fence is clear of brush, has sturdy posts, and the wires are stretched tight enough that you can climb...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    10 Responses May 6, 2011

    In

    It is a place of friendly shadows, with lichen and mushrooms and fairies. Her feet go soft on moss, and she can lie on her stomach with the cosmic lover and watch fishes in clear greeny pools. The beauty makes her eyes mist. This is why she loves being alone.
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    4 Responses Jul 9, 2011

    The Love Egg

    There were strange events surrounding the group of young men with whom our son met often, and he remembers it a little differently than I do, but he didn’t record it and I did. Here’s one of the events, another story from the front of my journal. It was a nice group of teen...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    2 Responses Oct 17, 2011

    The Mystic's Pain

    If the sky were to become purple-black and rain searing green fire all ‘round, it would have nothing to do with the the feelings in a mystic’s heart.    But when he makes an opening between his fingers and looks out, he hears our cries--our suffering because we haven’t...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    May 15, 2011

    Having my son surprise me with a visit is the

    best . Having him give me a hug is the best feeling in the world even though he's now taller than me. Made me remember how as parents we hug our children to make them feel loved, comforted and protected. All I can say now is that my son made me that way today. ❤️
    Bssanglergrl1 Bssanglergrl1
    36-40
    2 Responses Jun 18, 2015
    AdoraGel AdoraGel
    31-35, F
    Aug 1, 2015

    An Ocean Of Flowers

    I flew, speckled with luminous electricity, A crazed dragonfly, with black sea-horses for escort When dreams were crushing with bitter blows My skies of ultramarine were burning Into the unknown yellow ochre orb ... It was then that I saw an ocean of flowers    
    THEMADHATTERXXXX THEMADHATTERXXXX
    46-50, M
    Oct 7, 2011

    OH – MY – GOSH – YES – THERE – IS

    – A – SANTA. Something made me watch BECOMING SANTA, a movie for which I had seen no recommendation at all, other than the fact that it is a Christmas movie. It turned out to be about 'real world' guys who play Santa. I stuck with it, all the while thinking how odd it...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    4 Responses Dec 11, 2013

    Training A Child In The Way He Should Go -- Aka -- A Harsh Environment Demands That A Child Learn To Accept Responsibility

    This is the story, told by The Gypsy,  of a climb she made out of the Grand Canyon with a party of Havasupai, and of a boy's adventures on that trip. The child had been told, the night before, that they would be accompanying the group setting out the next day to gather pine nuts...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    2 Responses Feb 2, 2012

    I Know My Heart... But my Brain does not.

    There's been a long-standing fued & disconnect, between the two, for over 30 years now. So, you see... If I seem a bit wild & contradictory, it's because I am. =) The divide within my soul has long been there, & two weeks ago, the materials necessary in altering the past...
    AdoraGel AdoraGel
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jun 24, 2015

    Lifes Blessings

    Before you were born, before any sonogram could tell me, I knew your sex. Before any pregnancy test could tell me, I knew you were growing inside of me. I knew I loved you before any doctor or test told me that you were there. When you were born, the pain was forgotten when you...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses May 10, 2011

    There's just something about the character

    roles Jason Bateman plays that makes me wish I could find his twin. Where is that handsome perfectly imperfect man... Seems like or rather it is like I always end up with the the opposite.... :/
    Bssanglergrl1 Bssanglergrl1
    36-40
    1 Response Jun 10, 2015

    Soft-Hearted

    Well, I was told to stay away from animals... family does not allow to have any pets.. but I guess a dog changed my heart.. India has many stray animals.. I was in college living away from home.. Once I saved a little pup who couldn't walk - from a herd of locals dogs out to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 27, 2013

    Know My Heart

    Why do I pray? Do I pray to say I prayed an hour? Why do I love? Do I want you beholden to me? Why do I help? Do I help to hear my name called out? And why do I sing? Search me and know my heart, Oh God. See if there is any wrong thing in me All I have ever really wanted...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Aug 7, 2011

    We Consciously Tried To Be No Bother

    We went back to our spot near Sedona and saw the beautiful comfortably settled-in homes that look out across the valley, just like we used to do while sitting in our folding lawn chairs next to a wait-a-minute bush.  We couldn't actually deny a certain beauty of freshly...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    8 Responses Sep 1, 2011

    Favorite Experience Recorded in My Journal

      I loved riding along the California coast and enjoying the plants, so different from those of the desert and of the Midwest.   Five years before the events of this story Hubby had decided we would move back to the Midwest, and separation from folks who had given me support...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    8 Responses May 29, 2011

    The Lover

    OUT THERE IN THE WORLD COGNIZED BY MIND   THE LOVER IS UNSEEN AND RARELY SUSPECTED,   THE CARESSES ASSIGNED TO A SOURCE OTHER,   THE GIFTS TAKEN TO BE THEIR OWN PROGENY. 
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    2 Responses May 13, 2011

    Romance is Divine

    Romance is divine When one's romance is with the Divine.
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    3 Responses May 31, 2011

    As Good As Any Revenge

    My mother was strong and my dad wasn’t. He was fifteen years older than she. Before he died, after he needed care and came to live with us, Daddy told me he was afraid that Mother was going to give everything to my little brother and that he would fight her to get anything...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    14 Responses Mar 30, 2012

    Wow. I'm floored. He's planning a move here.

    .. And I don't feel pressured, I feel... Peace... Anticipation... Gratitude. Which is frickin' off-the-charts Miraculous!! I mean, men have suggested such things before -just a couple of Weeks Ago, in fact, most recently- and I've gone into PANIC mode!! Even if its been...
    AdoraGel AdoraGel
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jul 4, 2015

    Meeting a Mystic, a Disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda

    She was young and I was young, but she was mature enough to be called a spiritual giant, and I was mature enough to know that it was true.   When I saw her across the lawn my homing instinct took me, and as she walked here and there I floated, entranced, behind her right...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    8 Responses May 15, 2011

    And I Thought I Had Been Living Simply.

    I find getting old to be a very great pleasure as I sit in my not uncomfortable chair.There’s no desire for a magazine or a computer or TV or phone or backrub or window view—actually, not even for chocolate.. Inside there is comfort.  It’s very interesting inside.  There...
    nelladell nelladell
    70+, F
    10 Responses Nov 9, 2012

    Related Experiences

    Part 2 Second year is an interesting story. So much happened and yet so little. It started well, I returned to Uni and thanks to that final night out we’d all become friends...
    Tobey94 Tobey94
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    Apr 21
    Anybody that has ever experienced a streak of sadness, doesn't necessarily need to be at a level of "depression", has learned that there are few people that can handle it. It's not...
    kk1874 kk1874
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    Apr 21
    I am told that loving her is cheating on my wife. I will accept that. I love her more than anyone I have ever known. I am married but am cut out of my wife's life for eleven years...
    boldtimer boldtimer
    66-70, M
    Apr 20
    If I can have another chance, I will take back the words Ive said I apologize for causing you pain and hurting your feelings. I hope you can find forgiveness in your heart.
    hazaramujahideen hazaramujahideen
    70+, F
    Apr 20
    I have a good heart, a submissive heart but good none the less! Some people take my kindness for weakness, taking advantage of me or calling me spineless, but that is because THEY...
    InLoveWithTheSun InLoveWithTheSun
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Apr 20
    I am an old broken man who fell in love with a beautiful young woman. I have written so much about how she has changed me with just talking here and thru texts. Thing is I havent...
    boldtimer boldtimer
    66-70, M
    Apr 19
    This will be a long post but I hope you bear with because this is something that’s been eating at me for a while. I fell in love with the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. The...
    Tobey94 Tobey94
    18-21, M
    Apr 19
    I am greatful for the opportunity to have this heartache. It means I have loved, and loving makes life meaningful.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 18
    It's all different now, because back in the day there was no how. Where and what are we still doing, ripping each others hearts out while the hate keeps brewing. We're lying now...
    justnormal justnormal
    22-25, F
    Apr 18
    He left after 5 years and we just became engaged in November. Suddenly became cold. His eyes even looked different. Just said he wanted to be single and he was unhappy and needed...
    notavictimbutasurvivor notavictimbutasurvivor
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 17
    My heart is all about love and the white horse and all that good stuff but my realistic mind says, " Charming doesn't exist. He doesn't love you. Get t(his) money and the next."
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 17
    I lost a very good sweetie heart and knew she would never be back.. that was 5 months ago.
    Bassman1954 Bassman1954
    61-65, M
    1 Response Apr 16
    With the end near and seeing some of the negativity that has been presented about EP, I wanted to take a few moments and tell everyone about the positive that EP brought to my...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
    41-45, F
    12 Responses Apr 16
    I love you so much that it hurts.But it's your love that overwhelms me and I often end up in tears. The way you embrace my emotions and how vulnerable I become in your presence. I...
    sparklingdiva sparklingdiva
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 16
    I am not sure what has really happened lately with Melissa, I know I am still so much in love with her and really hope that we can one day actually be together within a deep love...
    Nightimegal Nightimegal
    46-50, T
    Apr 15
    Yes. Totally. Genuine anti war protester, bought five finger bag for ten bucks, acid for fifty cents a hit. mescaline for twenty bucks an ounce. Had a ball, still kept a sixty hour...
    boldtimer boldtimer
    66-70, M
    Apr 14
    it hurts me very badly to know EP will no longer be a part of my life. I remember my first postings. I was still married. and extremely lonely. my ex was not happy, so she was...
    prisoner1972 prisoner1972
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 14
    the title says it all. most of my life has been pain and sorrow both mental and physical you think that eye patch on my eye is fake no its 100% real. I made sacrifices for people...
    SladeBolinLeaderofEp SladeBolinLeaderofEp
    18-21, M
    Apr 11
    Seems like a lifetime since I have written on EP. I stopped writing mostly because of the extreme censorship. And EP continued to decline. I have given this a great deal of...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Apr 11
    its really weird that my heart is broken yet i care for others specially for broken hearted people if only i could take their pain away never break a heart cause its worse...
    bimvim bimvim
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 11
    Looks fade. The body will shrivel, sag, become discolored, fall apart and lose functionality... But a woman who is sincere, strong, stalwart, has a heart full of love and empathy...
    KikFindme12thNumber KikFindme12thNumber
    22-25, M
    Apr 11
    If I could I'd fly away. I'd morph myself and change my name. To find the one, my heart desires, Someone who really knows me. We'd be friends-- maybe more than friends. And we...
    ProxyVox ProxyVox
    18-21, M
    Apr 11
    Love is an emotion that is hard to understand, it can consume us and overtake us when we least expect it. It creates havoc with our emotions and causes us to say and do things we...
    sensualbeauty1 sensualbeauty1
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Apr 10
    honestly i just dont count anymore i guess people just love breaking my heart i guess now a days people dont really seek love like forever kinda till the last breath people get...
    bimvim bimvim
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 10
    Why talk about others, I think I don't even know myself lately its like nobody gets me my significant other to the most It's like I have made his life hell he's not that happy as...
    Floz Floz
    18-21, F
    Apr 9
    People don't want to hear problems... Let's be honest..when people ask you how are you? they want the response..I'm fine, how are you?..let's move on..and apart from awkwardness...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit
    22-25, F
    Apr 9
    I finally understand the poems, the songs and the films. That feeling of despair, the suffocation, heart-clenching thing that is a broken heart. I am not one to cry with ease...
    Randomelle Randomelle
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Apr 9
    After going through it all, sifting feelings and emotions from past experiences and reality, I've come today to let go. And ironically, the announcement from EP almost solidifies...
    cbnfvr cbnfvr
    26-30, F
    Apr 8
    I'm heartbroken and empty...I'm a great person with so much love to give and so much life...yet feel lifeless. I know this feeling will pass. It's the patience part that I'm not...
    notavictimbutasurvivor notavictimbutasurvivor
    36-40, F
    Apr 8
    my observation in married life most guys just wanna shoot them selves but they cant cause they worry about kids thats why they ignore the crap live with the b.i.t.c.h we guys...
    soul4 soul4
    18-21, M
    Apr 8
    Everything gets better. I wanted to put an experience out there as my life has changed indeed in the last couple of years. A few years back I posted an experience about how lonely...
    BunnyObsession BunnyObsession
    22-25, F
    Apr 8
    i know how you lie top ten lies by most girls 1 i really care this means i dont care about you but you should care about me 2 i love you this means i am lying i dont love you...
    soul4 soul4
    18-21, M
    Apr 8
    I was in love with a girl who I loved so much and she loved me madly.. An orphan who lost her mom and brother, but I came to fill that emptiness inside her heart. Two years...
    MessyGlaze MessyGlaze
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 8
    My boyfriend and I fought for 2 or 3 months because I suspected he was cheating when I noticed he started acting differently. It upset me because we shared a love that was...
    CMC93 CMC93
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 8
    It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are...
    Mcinacann Mcinacann
    41-45, F
    Apr 7
    Fuc,k the liers who say they love you but they really don't Fuc,k the pretenders who'll make you believe when nothing true Fuc,k the maniacs who'll do everything to score Fuc,k...
    mysticalexis224 mysticalexis224
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 7
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    rottenrobi rottenrobi
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Apr 6
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    56-60, M
    Apr 6
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