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I Know That By Leaving Him, I'm Helping Him Heal

It's not an ending, it's simply a transition in love. 30 People

    Two Weeks Gone!

    Tomorrow will mark 2 weeks since Cocaine Incident #2 with "B". Have not talked to him since. He's overseas. I think about him everyday but without longing. Frankly, it's of little interest to me if he heals or not. It's not enough that he says he really loves me. I...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F Sep 17, 2009

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    Thank God For My Support Group!

    I feel 100lbs lighter right now. I got myself out of the house in Jersey City and drove into Manhattan to be with my personal development support group. The gathering in the cafe on the Upper WEst Side was a pleasant distraction. When I left, I walked out with a young...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F Sep 8, 2009

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    2600 Miles Without Saying Goodbye

    I'm at the JetBlue Terminal @ JFK. I'm headed to Seattle, returning home, returning to family after 22 years in the very Big City. I shed tears for one moment here. "B" is in London. When I returned from Seattle he was at the airport greeting me with a warm embrace a gaze that...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F Mar 18, 2010

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    No More Tears

    It's a week later, I"m ok! I feel a mental & emotional poise unlike anything I've ever felt post breakup! And I"m playing Elton John ballads over and over on top of it--without a tear! I won't take it for granted. I'll still be sad at moments, but I don't...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F Sep 12, 2009

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    Attending Al Anon

    For the first time I attended an Al Anon meeting just b/c of this experience. It's funny, the whole 12 step starts with the issue of addiction and its ultimately a program for anything I want to fundamentally change in my life. I felt at home in the group, I felt...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 12, 2009

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    Leaving Someone I Love Who Is In Denial About Cocaine Abuse

    I didn't hang around long. It happened only two times in the past 3 weeks but it was enough to know. This is difficult because he's the most beautiful man I've ever met. I was ready to be an adult rather than a child in a relationship with him. I felt myself growing and changing...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 6 Responses Sep 7, 2009

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    Go Ahead, Dig Your Own Damn Grave

    I didn't cause and I can't cure it. You're on your own now sucker.  
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 27, 2009

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    Honoring What We Shared

    I'm experiencing grief so it occurred to me that it might help me if I honored what we shared: - our sense of ease and play with each other - our sense of freedom to be our true selves with each other - our physical connection to each other - our affection for each other...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F Sep 26, 2009

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    He Is Showing Up In My Dreams

    and that is ok. there is still a connection there. i am not "over" all of it.  but the pain is moving further and further away and i am grateful.
    onatavia onatavia 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2009

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    I Talked to Him...

    ...on the phone for the first time in nearly 3 weeks since the Coke Incident. I was kind of bored. I didn't feel angry. He asked me what's new. Al-Anon really helped me to just listen, without much reaction. He mentioned seeing his daughter and I inwardly cringed. I didn't relate...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    A Lesson In The 'hood About Love

    Dearest B~ The other day on the bus, I got into a very hostile and uncomfortable confrontation with a young man next to me who was playing loud gangster rap. It got to the point where he rolled his eyes and ignored me. Rather than move, I remained in the seat right next to him...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 11, 2009

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    I Always Wondered Why...

    ...he didn't have much of a client roster, considering he was such an industry veteran ...he would recount how clients would leave him suddenly after being with him for years ...why he worked at home and didn't hire a bookeeper I'm just pissed now and need to vent. Forgive me...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 26, 2009

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    I'm Moping As If I Had Rebound S**** With Him.

    Geez, snap out of it. Move on. Shift your attention away from Lack and toward Love.
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 25, 2009

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    I Am Trying

    I no he is wrong for me he has done so much to me that it don't hurt no more. I am pregnant with his second child an i dont want it because of all the cheating he has done an. I just want to move on with my life. My mom treats me bad my whole life her only child. My dad is sick...
    teecap teecap 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 4, 2013

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    This Story Ends For Me Today

    Thanks for reading!
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2009

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    He Has a Point

    I spoke to "B" last night. He said, "You're ending it over one incident, forgetting about everything else we shared." He does have a point. But I made my point too. How I was frightened, didn't understand, questioned if I shared the same values with him...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 30, 2009

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    Hmm. I Don't Miss Him.

    - Haven't had to restrain myself from calling him. - Haven't shed a tear since Labor Day weekend. - My heart didn't leap when I saw a picture of him. - Felt sad when I realized I didn't have him around to help me with car stuff. - Felt sad that I didn't have a hand...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 18, 2009

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    He Is In Darkness

    someone helped me save my life once. i have so much empathy for someone in darkness, because i remember being there.  but had i not wanted to be alive myself, no one anywhere could have helped me to save my own life, and gratefully i am alive. i have a heart that can feel...
    onatavia onatavia 41-45, F 4 Responses Oct 30, 2009

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    We're Starting Over

    Well friends, for the first time ever in my entire history I'm going back to someone I thought it was over with. "B" clearly loves me on the highest turn of the spiral that I"ve ever seen love expressed. Through all of my fog, he very astutely sees the highest and...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F 5 Responses Oct 23, 2009

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    Yawn

    This story is slowly becoming less interesting. REally. Haven't heard from "B". I realize that I was so upset last Friday b/c I wanted a response from him. I just won't do anything in relation to him that requires a response. Yawn. It's been a month since the...
    beautytruth beautytruth 46-50, F Oct 2, 2009

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    Related Experiences

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    I have a mask I put on in front of everyone I seem to care about, family, friends, even complete strangers. I don't know if it's because I'm a coward, or because I feel they wouldn...
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    My husband left for Navy bootcamp yesterday. We have a 16 month old, and it's been hard the past 24 hours. (And he's gone for 8 weeks). I feel so alone and like there's something...
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    I don't like to burden other people with my problems so I usually tell people I am doing fine even if that isn't the case. I know it's not good to keep your feelings bottled up...
    underpressure417 underpressure417 13-15, F 1 day ago

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    I lost my soul-mate husband 4 years back after he joined M.A.UM Meditation. This is a cult. He became an emotionally and Narcissistic abusive stranger. This has caused me...
    dvirmani dvirmani 41-45, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Id almost post something here out of curiosity, but I feel it'll make me seem conceded or insecure. A little insecure about little things, maybe. Conceded? Definitely not. I know...
    katieliebtkatzen katieliebtkatzen 16-17, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Do you find me attractive? I'm not asking because I'm insecure because I'm not. I already know that I am beautiful inside and out. I simply want to know what you think about me. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 77 Responses 3 days ago

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    I find that's what I should do really.that my religion is right I should wait until I'm married to do it because then I know I'm with someone who loves me and we will be together...
    LovingMusicForever LovingMusicForever 13-15, F 3 days ago

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    I got a haircut recently and hated it. I told my mom and she asked why. I told her they thinned it too much. She kept asking why despite the fact that I told her already and that I...
    EcoReibun EcoReibun 70+, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I'm married and he's in a relationship. We met at work and ended up having an affair. He's everything I have wanted in a man. He's someone I waited my whole life for and I would...
    forlani000 forlani000 41-45, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm falling for my best friend's sister. I've known them all for over a decade, and I've always had a crush on her. But I never did anything about it because I'm very close to the...
    Robeta Robeta 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I like this guy at my school. We're friends and I've known him forever. My schools prom is coming up and I wanted to ask him, but the thing is he used to have crush on my sister...
    hannah1010 hannah1010 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    There's one friend of mine who knows my ex and he knows everything that I told him that I did after we've broken up and now I feel so bad, on the other side I have him on facebook...
    KIKIBOE22 KIKIBOE22 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    I feel so lost. I am 21 years old, working a dead-end job, and investing thousands into a major that I have no interest in. I cannot seem to get over my ex and I have forsaken...
    bawstenbrewin bawstenbrewin 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    What do you think?
    ScummyGuy ScummyGuy 22-25, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I am with the love of my life. In 2002 we were good friends, then dated each other for a while, fell in love, only for us to get into a huge argument, part and go our separate...
    MartiniMagic MartiniMagic 36-40, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    i don't know its weird man, recently I've just always been sad. like, I've slowly fallen into this pit of sadness. maybe its because i'm slowly detaching from my friends, maybe its...
    spulunky spulunky 13-15, M a week ago

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    Letter to my love.. Hey Mister, man I can't wait to meet you, I know you're out there, surviving life and working hard. I hope you had a good day today! Maybe one of these days...
    gayguy82 gayguy82 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 3

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    Things have been horrible between me and my husband for some time now. No intimacy , him seeing other women, me not caring about it, you know all the signs we are more friends than...
    KittyKurious KittyKurious 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 3

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    ALL BEINGS HAVE A PURPOSE ON EARTH http://gatewaytogold.com/what-is-my-hearts-desire/ http://gatewaytogold.com/dispelling-the-myths-of-unschooling/ Years ago I entered college...
    TNTandCHOCOLATE TNTandCHOCOLATE 31-35 1 Response Jan 31

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    I know im not perfect, but I try to be nice to everyone. I like making friends. and when im not so perfect my dad fixes that :-( but I still love him.
    JTurner2002 JTurner2002 13-15, F Jan 29

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    I feel like I don't appreciate the people around me anymore, just because I think of him everyday. What hurts is that the person that occupies my mind doesn't even know I exist...
    geenieinabottle geenieinabottle 16-17, F Jan 29

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