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I Laugh At Pick-up Lines

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 796 People

    PLEASE, someone tell me pick-up lines!

    Dirty or clean, I really don't care! They are HILARIOUS and I will use them!
    AttackOnPinkie AttackOnPinkie 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2015

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    itsjakedam2 itsjakedam2 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 30, 2015

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    for the RENT lovers: I want to spend all my 525,

    600 minutes with you. -pintrest
    yopper52 yopper52 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 7, 2015

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    You've got 206 bones in your body.

    ..want another one? ;)
    drunkinlove23 drunkinlove23 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    So I'm in a restaurant in Chattanooga

    and I see this one on the bathroom: You must be from Ireland because my penis is Dublin!
    HBBarbie820 HBBarbie820 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 1, 2015

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    miketolike miketolike 31-35, M Nov 27, 2015

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    My friends over there said

    that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 7, 2015

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    CallMeSatan CallMeSatan 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 24, 2014

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    I'm not a photographer

    but I can picture you and me.
    PotatoStarch99 PotatoStarch99 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel 41-45, F Jul 11, 2015

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    7gabriel7 7gabriel7 36-40, M Jul 29, 2015

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    You must be from Greece.

    Because you look like a goddess. Haha
    purplehaze78 purplehaze78 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 1, 2015

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    Does your left eye hurt?

    Because you've been looking right all day.
    countryboy79 countryboy79 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 22, 2014

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    Do Not Try Me

    Men are getting nowhere with these... Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to...
    Stacy8989 Stacy8989 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 3, 2010

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    I wish you were my big toe,

    so I could bang you on my coffee table!
    ScooterDawg ScooterDawg 41-45, M Jul 29, 2015

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    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 7, 2015

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    This One Is For the Ladies

    Ladies aren't we all just tired of the generic pick-up lines and tricks that guys use to win us over. How can we even feign to swoon over them when we have heard the same thing regurgitated from many mouths. It's time we raise our standards and make them work harder for us. Here...
    umathena umathena 18-21, F 11 Responses May 22, 2007

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    You guys kill me sometimes

    and it amazes me how some of you even managed to get a girlfriend at some point in your life. This guy asks some random girl "You wanna see me naked?!" Girl says, "Not at all!" Did he really believe she was going to say yes? Lol
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M May 6, 2014

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    on a Scale of 1 to 10 your a 9,

    and I'm the 1 you need ;)
    skittlequeen skittlequeen 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 30, 2015

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    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    Roses are red, violets are blue,

    how would you like it if I came home with you? :)
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M Jul 1, 2014

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    Do you sit in sugar? Because you got a sweet

    *** Lol think I almost threw up ahahah
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    bellecc11 bellecc11 26-30, F Jul 7, 2015

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    I don't know how people can go up to someone

    and use a pickup line seriously, I can't even say one to a friend without laughing haha
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 3, 2015

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    Guy asks girl, "Can I buy you a drink?

    " Girl says, "No thanks, alcohol is bad for my legs." Guy asks, "Why, do they swell?" Girl says, "No, they spread."
    adhane05 adhane05 22-25, M Jul 2, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 30, 2015

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    My name is not Fred Flinstine,

    but I can make your bed rock.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 7, 2015

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    I got this at LGPE (chorus testing thing,

    I know right?). Is there wi-fi in here? Because I'm feeling the connection
    yopper52 yopper52 13-15, F Jul 7, 2015

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    Do you work at Costco?

    Because I like sample
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 30, 2015

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    the funniest one I got was "Lego my ego" it

    means u have nice legs!?!? wtf? I had to inquire w/someone who speaks that lingo cuz I had no idea what that meant, I was in the store n some random guy walked up n said that ta me? I thot he wanted to know where the waffles were??? lmao
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 18, 2015

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    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel 41-45, F Jul 11, 2015

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    annirawrmuffin annirawrmuffin 18-21, F 1 Response May 9, 2014

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    PotatoStarch99 PotatoStarch99 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 22, 2015

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    Are you an appendix? Because you give me a

    funny feeling in my stomach and I may have to take you out! 😂
    kindnessiskey kindnessiskey 16-17, F Jul 11, 2015

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    Excuse me but are you a teacher?

    Because you have a lot of class.
    edscull edscull 18-21, M Aug 16, 2015

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    alicacc11 alicacc11 26-30, F Aug 19, 2015

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    Hey girl do you work at Subway?

    (girl) No why?Because you just gave me a five foot long.😂
    Cesarean1 Cesarean1 13-15, M Jul 30, 2015

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    Do you work at ****'s?

    Cause you're sporting the goods.
    countryboy79 countryboy79 36-40, M Jun 22, 2014

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    chrisfer chrisfer 22-25, M Jan 29, 2014

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    Stupid ones any way like.

    .. Did you wash your pants in Windex? Cause I can see myself in them. Badum tss... :D
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 14

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    Pick Up Lines Are Flattering

    To a degree anyway. I don't know, maybe I'm just more relaxed than the average girl but simply put, pick up lines are a tension breaker, always make me crack a smile at least, and honestly are flattering. It's telling you a guy thinks your adorable, and if he's a bit to awkward...
    BigBoobAuthor BigBoobAuthor 56-60, F 4 Responses Mar 30, 2013

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    Did it hurt? When you fell on your head

    as a child and became a ******* idiot?
    SkollHati SkollHati 18-21, M Jan 14, 2015

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    Are you made of gasoline?

    Because I'd sure like to pump you in my van!
    ScooterDawg ScooterDawg 41-45, M Jul 29, 2015

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    so this guy at the grocery store goes "hey baby,

    I grew up in the sixties with the love and peace generation, if I can get some love, I'd like a piece" lol..smh men!
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 29, 2015

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    Are you an archaeologist?

    Because I need someone to examine this large bone!
    ScooterDawg ScooterDawg 41-45, M Jul 29, 2015

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