I Laugh At Pick-up Lines

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 760 People

    I this one makes me laugh.

    Bond. James Bond.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 7, 2015

    Do you work at Costco?

    Because I like sample
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 30, 2015

    Hey girl do you work at Subway?

    (girl) No why?Because you just gave me a five foot long.😂
    Cesarean1 Cesarean1
    13-15, M
    Jul 30, 2015

    Are you made of gasoline?

    Because I'd sure like to pump you in my van!
    ScooterDawg ScooterDawg
    41-45, M
    Jul 29, 2015

    yesterday another guy at the mall used his

    index finger to call me and I went. he's like "damn girl I made you come with 1 finger, imagine what I can do with my whole hand"
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jul 29, 2015

    Fifth Prettiest Girl

    I walked along the Queen street in Toronto yesterday and kept seeing pretty girls. I went to starbuck and when I was waiting in line. She was about the 5th pretty girl I had seen in the last 30 minutes. So, when she was waiting for her order, I said, "Hi, you are the 5th...
    Excellency Excellency
    26-30, M
    3 Responses May 15, 2012

    Girl do you work at Little Caesars?

    Cuz you make me hot and ready ;)
    chiefLobo chiefLobo
    18-21, M
    Jan 9
    itsjakedam2 itsjakedam2
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jul 30, 2015
    PotatoStarch99 PotatoStarch99
    16-17, F
    1 Response Aug 22, 2015

    Rodeo Cowboy Pick Up Line

    O.K. I do have to laugh at pick-up lines.  One of the funniest I have ever had pulled on me was a professional Rodeo Rider that told me he wanted to hog tie me and make me squel like a calf.  O.k. how in the world is that supposed to turn me on? Ok here is an update...
    rondat rondat
    41-45, F
    9 Responses Dec 8, 2007

    My name is not Fred Flinstine,

    but I can make your bed rock.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 7, 2015

    Are you an appendix? Because you give me a

    funny feeling in my stomach and I may have to take you out! 😂
    kindnessiskey kindnessiskey
    16-17, F
    Jul 11, 2015

    Do Not Try Me

    Men are getting nowhere with these... Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to...
    Stacy8989 Stacy8989
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Aug 3, 2010

    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    alicacc11 alicacc11
    26-30, F
    Aug 19, 2015

    Excuse me but are you a teacher?

    Because you have a lot of class.
    edscull edscull
    18-21, M
    Aug 16, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 12, 2014

    Are you an archaeologist?

    Because I need someone to examine this large bone!
    ScooterDawg ScooterDawg
    41-45, M
    Jul 29, 2015

    Aye... tie your shoes.

    ... I don't want you falling for anybody else ;P
    endlessl0ve endlessl0ve
    26-30, F
    Jul 13, 2015
    CallMeSatan CallMeSatan
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Oct 24, 2014

    PLEASE, someone tell me pick-up lines!

    Dirty or clean, I really don't care! They are HILARIOUS and I will use them!
    AttackOnPinkie AttackOnPinkie
    13-15, F
    1 Response Aug 15, 2015

    I don't know how people can go up to someone

    and use a pickup line seriously, I can't even say one to a friend without laughing haha
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 3, 2015
    7gabriel7 7gabriel7
    36-40, M
    Jul 29, 2015

    You've got 206 bones in your body.

    ..want another one? ;)
    drunkinlove23 drunkinlove23
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

    I wish you were my big toe,

    so I could bang you on my coffee table!
    ScooterDawg ScooterDawg
    41-45, M
    Jul 29, 2015

    Does your left eye hurt?

    Because you've been looking right all day.
    countryboy79 countryboy79
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jun 22, 2014
    chrisfer chrisfer
    22-25, M
    Jan 29, 2014

    so this guy at the grocery store goes "hey baby,

    I grew up in the sixties with the love and peace generation, if I can get some love, I'd like a piece" lol..smh men!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jul 29, 2015
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 7, 2015

    My friends over there said

    that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 7, 2015

    I'm not really this tall,

    I'm just sitting on my wallet.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Jul 7, 2015

    Did it hurt? When you fell on your head

    as a child and became a ******* idiot?
    SkollHati SkollHati
    18-21, M
    Jan 14, 2015

    Excuse me beautiful but I was wondering

    if you would go halfies on a bastard with me?
    Deleter5115 Deleter5115
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Aug 18, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 30, 2015

    I just want to be the reason you're suddenly

    obsessed with bananas. And yep, one I came up with on the spot as a joke/dare.
    Sicarium Sicarium
    36-40, M
    1 Response Feb 19

    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    bellecc11 bellecc11
    26-30, F
    Jul 7, 2015
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Jul 11, 2015

    This One Is For the Ladies

    Ladies aren't we all just tired of the generic pick-up lines and tricks that guys use to win us over. How can we even feign to swoon over them when we have heard the same thing regurgitated from many mouths. It's time we raise our standards and make them work harder for us. Here...
    umathena umathena
    18-21, F
    10 Responses May 22, 2007

    the funniest one I got was "Lego my ego" it

    means u have nice legs!?!? wtf? I had to inquire w/someone who speaks that lingo cuz I had no idea what that meant, I was in the store n some random guy walked up n said that ta me? I thot he wanted to know where the waffles were??? lmao
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 18, 2015

    on a Scale of 1 to 10 your a 9,

    and I'm the 1 you need ;)
    skittlequeen skittlequeen
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Jul 30, 2015

    Do you sit in sugar? Because you got a sweet

    *** Lol think I almost threw up ahahah
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Dec 15, 2014

    Don't you just love how there's 21 different

    letters in the alphabet? What, there's 26? Oh, right - I forgot U R A Q T!
    ScooterDawg ScooterDawg
    41-45, M
    Jul 29, 2015
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Jul 11, 2015

    So I'm in a restaurant in Chattanooga

    and I see this one on the bathroom: You must be from Ireland because my penis is Dublin!
    HBBarbie820 HBBarbie820
    41-45, F
    1 Response Oct 1, 2015

    Some guy kept saying I was "hawt"

    and asked me if I shave my "thingy". Is this what counts as flirting nowadays? If so, that is pretty pathetic.
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Feb 23

    On Ep

    I get emails a few times a week from people/guys that create accounts just for a f^ck! It's funny because they never start the conversation with "HI" it's always "Wanna swap pics" or "Do you IM" and my personal fav... "Are you wearing any...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Oct 12, 2007

    Pick Up Lines Are Flattering

    To a degree anyway. I don't know, maybe I'm just more relaxed than the average girl but simply put, pick up lines are a tension breaker, always make me crack a smile at least, and honestly are flattering. It's telling you a guy thinks your adorable, and if he's a bit to awkward...
    BigBoobAuthor BigBoobAuthor
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Mar 30, 2013
    annirawrmuffin annirawrmuffin
    18-21, F
    May 9, 2014

    If you'd be a fruit you'd be a fineapple ;)

    (this one gets me every time ahahaha)
    paleshiet paleshiet
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jan 26, 2014

    Do you work at ****'s?

    Cause you're sporting the goods.
    countryboy79 countryboy79
    36-40, M
    Jun 22, 2014

    Stupid ones any way like.

    .. Did you wash your pants in Windex? Cause I can see myself in them. Badum tss... :D
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jan 14

    Related Experiences

    I'm sooo full and now rubbing my swollen belly. Can't believe it, but I was just force fed. The feeder (James) is a friend of my boyfriend who has stated that he also likes feeder...
    forcefeeding forcefeeding
    22-25, F
    Apr 20
    i live in a apartment and had plans to get a dog, so i was thinking of keeping the dog in a cage. I bought this cage and the super intendant saw me being the cage into the...
    MissHarley MissHarley
    18-21, F
    7 Responses Apr 17
    Time is a killer. Time is a psycho killer. It's not even real and yet we are slaves to it.... I look forward to the day where i can toss you my last two cents. I hope you pick...
    Fidge3 Fidge3
    22-25, F
    Apr 16
    great..tumko hug karne ka baat pe bhi chhid hua..I don't know if there is anything about me that u accept..i don't know if there is any way by which u will ever be better...kaise...
    BrokenSB BrokenSB
    22-25, F
    Apr 15
    more so at times. like when I wake up thinking I just layer down and I need to call a friend but the the remote is hiding under there. right under there are you blind ...I just...
    DirtyRead DirtyRead
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 15
    I like being in bed for long time but i like waiking up early always Is that paradox ?
    MOHED007 MOHED007
    18-21, M
    4 Responses Apr 14
    I crack myself up sometimes. I'm glad I'm getting more of these messages because I have so much fun replying to them 😂😂😂😂😂
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 13
    "You make me want to pick up a guitar.. And celebrate the Myriad ways that I love you.." Just digging some Interpol really..but this is one of my favorite lines
    Isayis23 Isayis23
    31-35, M
    Apr 12
    Asian here. My parents immigrated from the East where there are many abusive parents, South Korea! My parents said they want me to enjoy whatever job I work, plus to live fully...
    cracked8urface cracked8urface
    18-21
    Apr 11
    Laughing at really bad times, it's complicatingly helpful and just plain miserable when you experience it. My 'worst days' probably can't be compared to older people since I am...
    SparkofDecency SparkofDecency
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 11
More Stories