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I Learned to Embrace Past Pain

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 39 People

    Fear of Being Hurt By My Own Past

    I grew up abused as a child and teenager. Then I was mentally abused while in the military.  The adversity I experienced, the humiliation from others certainly kept me in a low self esteem mode. I had been told by therapist to write my autobiography as it could be...
    Micayla Micayla 61-65, F 4 Responses Jul 8, 2009

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    It Took a Long Time

    After so many years of the  pin and torment that others caused and I have subjected myself to, I have finally learned to accept myself for who I am.  So many times in the past, I have thought about just stopping the maddness and ending my life.  It wasn't untill I...
    Michellewhois Michellewhois 56-60 2 Responses Jul 18, 2009

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    Accept It Now

    My early transition years were not easy. Though I may have had "dream come true" it left me still very messed up. Going through puberty was hell. It seems my body was fighting me every step of the way.I was on hormone treatment to make me female, but my head was really in...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 21, 2010

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    Alone In Darkness

    In the depths of nothing I hear their screams of suffering. The lonely broken souls call out to me. We are together, yet all alone as the darkness courses through our veins. I want just a small grain of golden oats but still I hunger alone but together in the darkness. Searching...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F Jan 15, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    The cold, dark and quiet of my present loneliness is frequently interrupted by the scream of fear, horror and terror. What is happening to me? Where is this emotional pain coming...
    myyself myyself 46-50, M 3 Responses Nov 1

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    My third anniversary on EP was in August 2014. I am a bit behind. You know how life keeps you busy. So it is time for me to share what I have learned in this past year. I hope you...
    PoetryNEmotion PoetryNEmotion 51-55, F 7 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Daily and no, I'm not over exaggerating or being over dramatic. I'm actually in pain daily. Eye/Head pain from past surgeries Wrist/Hand from Carpal Tunnel Legs/Knees from...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 4 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I suffer from chronic migraine and I'm simply tired of being in pain all the time. I do have some days that are good and a few that are great. Today was one of those days. I had a...
    sjmckstan sjmckstan 36-40, F Nov 13

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    Ha yea physical pain I'm just like whatever idc. But emotional pain omg ha I start crying but I only cry when I'm alone.
    liajip liajip 13-15, F 22 mins ago

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    For the past 11 years I have been lost within myself. Everyday I am in pain because I am unhappy. Complex thinking is my speciality, reminiscing about the past is daily, and my...
    AngelK2010 AngelK2010 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 29

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    For the last year I have been at the doctor constantly trying to get a diagnosis for pelvic pains. There are three kinds, constant dull pain across my entire abdomen, severe...
    erislaughs erislaughs 26-30, F Nov 17

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    Her pain is almost too much to bear for one person. It constantly weighs her down like the ballast on a ship. Yet despite that, she keeps bailing out the boat and moving on. She...
    Delta7190 Delta7190 16-17, M 18 hrs ago

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    My husband started seminary a few months after we were married and started serving his first charge (3 churches) 3 weeks before our first child was born. We moved to a parsonage...
    patricialeigh patricialeigh 31-35, M Nov 14

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    I had my right shoulder done in 2011. Post surgery due to bad pt shoulder and shoulder froze -no one wants this!!!!! Injury happened 4 years prior and was ignored by me. Now...
    rotatorcuffpain rotatorcuffpain 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 15

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    We all have our own memories of our past. Some of them sad, and some happy. Last night, while sitting with a friend, we started talking about our memories of our past, some of...
    Meyouusyou Meyouusyou 36-40, F 4 Responses Nov 17

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    I wanna live again, without the past weighting me down and threatening me. How do I progress?
    SecretWraith SecretWraith 18-21, F 7 hrs ago

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    He has now blocked me on Facebook. He will not take responsibility for his own actions, and I do not understand what has happened to this man. He is not the same man I came to love...
    NastasyaFilippovna NastasyaFilippovna 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 28

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    Luckily I'm on pretty amicable terms with people from my past, at least 98.9% of them including all my ex's. (I say 98.9% because I don't remember all of them). How is this...
    Roz2014 Roz2014 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 19

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    And sometimes, pain isn't a bad thing.
    AbyssalSilence AbyssalSilence 13-15, F 17 hrs ago

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    We met here on EP April 2014..I was trying to recover from an emotional affair, and she took it upon herself (BOF) to help and encourage me, to tell me that I could get through it...
    Alan493 Alan493 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 27

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    After a long period of little or no creativity I picked up a brush two days ago and have been lost in that wonderful timeless twilight zone where a painting gradually reveals...
    EmperorJulian EmperorJulian 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 29

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    I learned but I was curious to see how this imbecile was doing and I unblocked him on Facebook he seems to be bullshitting another woman I wonder why I do stupid things like this...
    Bella70 Bella70 41-45, F 3 days ago

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    I thought to myself, "someone should do something about that", then I remembered- I am someone. Live as if today was your last. Smile as if today was your first. Dance as though no...
    picses2222 picses2222 13-15, F Nov 10

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    Too many people get stuck in their stubborn ways and habits that they've gotten use to over the course of their life. You have to step outside of your comfort zone or you will...
    ozboybrian ozboybrian 26-30 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    All of this really happened. I haven't talked to anyone about it (except my wife). Posting here to EP is the first time I've shared to a wider audience. My wife and I have been...
    rmguyinCO rmguyinCO 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 27

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    It’s not nice to say you’ve been a battered woman. And often you don’t want to think of yourself that way. You tell yourself you don’t really have it that bad. You think...
    MaraAgain MaraAgain 22-25, F Oct 28

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    My past memories are all negative & painful. As a little girl, my emotions were soooo extreme that I was breaking down on a regular basis while still attending elementary school. I...
    MrsOMS MrsOMS 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 6

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    The past is cruel! It haunts me so Desperately needing Many many host The wetness on my face The redness of my sight Spirals of depression That block the holy light The nostalgic...
    newbeginnings15 newbeginnings15 18-21, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Today thinking about where I am and where I've been makes me immeasurably sad. I won't say I regret it, because the light at the end of this tunnel is growing closer and closer...
    pinkypie5 pinkypie5 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 17

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    I was in a very dark place when I as younger. I hated every single thing about myself. I would look in the mirror and wished I looked like someone else. Talked and thought like...
    solojo solojo 31-35, M 1 day ago

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    Too many to count and sometimes I just wish I would stop learning life lessons because they are too painful for words... Trust is delicate, people's personalities intricate and...
    invisiblyreal invisiblyreal 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 29

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    My past just won't go away. I think it's due to thinking about what happened when I was growing up. I am just working on writing the story of my life. So all these questions that I...
    Sara600 Sara600 56-60, F Nov 6

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    I have learned that it is what scares you the most that you must do in order to attain that which you most desire. And I've learned that only you can find the courage and strength...
    EmotionalNamaste EmotionalNamaste 22-25, F a week ago

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    I've learned that guys don't read profiles and only see pictures. I've also learned that 95% of them are only interested in adult chat or ask intimate personal questions. I was...
    kellywedgieknickers kellywedgieknickers 18-21, F 9 Responses Nov 14

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    We all know what Dr.Seuss said "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" I always keep that in my mind it help me to be more stronger. My life is really like...
    belllla belllla 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    I have been separated/divorced from my ex for going on six years now. But yet I am always missing her. Looking on her Facebook at her new life,family and kids. Wishing that I was...
    muddkat muddkat 36-40, M 7 Responses Oct 27

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    I lost my husband of 26 years, 6 years ago. Out of mourning and not being in right mind, I met a man, one month later, who was jobless, homeless and on crack cocaine. We married 8...
    Kattz7 Kattz7 51-55, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    those painful dark memories.... i try to forget and move on but it haunts me like a nightmare... i feel helpless...i hope God will save me from the dark....
    lovebug19980 lovebug19980 18-21, F Oct 28

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    Well I was with my husband for 8yr. Its started off great then he became emotionally abusive, then it became psychically abusive. Going through all I never got to live life because...
    melaniesacedo melaniesacedo 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 31

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    "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"....that's a lie. Words hurt. Words hurt like hell.Words can hurt worse than any punch or kick. When they are...
    irreelevance irreelevance 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 5

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    Today started out as a really good day. She woke me up at six this morning, telling me she missed me, if I could stay up for her. I didn't mind of course. We were texting for a bit...
    endofalldays endofalldays 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 14

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    In these confusing days of my life. Like a train I'm just flying past all the stops in my life. I can't quite describe the feeling of loneliness. But I'm realizing that the reason...
    AndrogynousBeauty AndrogynousBeauty 22-25 1 Response Nov 18

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    Well this year has been quite the ride , I been to jail , lost my job, went to rehab, May or may not have a girlfriend idk? Going threw a custody battle , fighting the union for...
    spanishjay spanishjay 26-30, M Oct 28

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    CEBs are actually revealed to offer therapeutic price to the cure of upper extremity vascular insufficiency because of vaso-occlusive or vasospastic Problems and have been...
    Laurenazrj90 Laurenazrj90 31-35, M 1 Response Oct 29

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    I don't know why I'm in pain all I know is that if this lasts any longer I'm going to probably shoot myself in the head. A couple of days ago I was in the car on the way to my...
    AriaDream AriaDream 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 30

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    I injured my shoulder a couple of years ago, had a MRI and it showed several tears. Complete rotator cuff,bicep tendons tore away from bone,bone spurs,arthritis in AC joint,bone...
    leekhilliard52 leekhilliard52 56-60, F 1 Response Nov 2