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I Left A Sexless Marriage And Have No Regrets

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 158 People

    Just A Small Story Of Hope

    First of all, did not start this group, It was here before I got here. I was looking for success stories concerning people who left a sexless marriage. I was looking for guidance. I am assuming that people left their sexless marriage and really never bothered to post any more...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 17 Responses Feb 1, 2011

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    No Regrets But......

    Last night was one of the those nights where I just wanted to be with a man. I was not necesarily feeling for sex or release. If that was the case, I could easily fix that by myself:-). What I wanted was to feel two strong arms wrapped around me, feel the warmth of another body...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F Mar 12, 2012

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    I Finally Left And Have No Regrets!

    Like so many people out there, I lived in a sexless marriage for years. Really, the last 4 were the worst. I stayed for a variety of reasons and all of them were bad. I tried therapy on two separate occasions. He just blamed everything on me and didn't even care to try. I...
    cablegirl01 cablegirl01 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 29, 2011

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    Gratitude To My Refuser

    I know the title caught your attention...LOL. It was intended to. Why do I have any gratitude to my X refuser? Without having lived with him for over 16 years and been rejected by him for over 12 years I do not think I would have the appreciation for life that I now have. There...
    sixand0 sixand0 46-50, F 13 Responses Mar 23, 2011

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    New Chapter

    It's been three months since that ground shattering day, when the words "I want a divorce" came out of me, spilled out like long held up stream, that has been building up pressure and breaking rocks. Since then, I've been a spring creek. I lived more in last three months than in...
    Kimstarway Kimstarway 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    I'll Never Look Back,

    I don't regret leaving, not for a second.  Don't regret how things worked out in the end either, it is what it is.  I have accepted my life and have control of it again.  The nights are not filled with pain and anguish as I lie in bed wish that he would just love me.  Trying...
    jcue1976 jcue1976 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    Closure

    We attended our last ballgame together Saturday night. The season tickets we purchased before I mustered the courage to leave him, are now gone. During our ritual pre-game tailgate (lately they have become more about personal therapy than partying) he confessed he views me...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 9 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    To The Women Out There...

    this is a song I found that made my day because it fits my new life so well.... You know the bed feels warmer Sleeping here alone You know I dream in color And do the things I want You think you've got the best of me Think you've had enough the last laugh Bet you think that...
    Member001 Member001 46-50, F Mar 17, 2013

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    Right now? I'm sitting next to the love of my

    life. His boys sit a row in front of us. Watching high school football in the most perfect ohio friday night weather. I'm glad I left so I can experience this. My heart is full of love and I'm thankful that I will leave this stadium and head home to fall into the bed I now share...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 5

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    As I Go Forward....

    As i go forward in my new life it is interesting the situations that pop into my life that make me reflect on the sexless marriage. For example: I am in a new relationship, and I am aware of the past heartbreak that my current friend suffered. And my heart goes out to him. The...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    My Daughter

    Last year, I separated from my husband.  I moved out of our family home that my 26-year-old daughter and her boyfriend had moved into.  There were many problems in my marriage.  Watching my husband and daughter sit outside together, night after night, drinking and smoking, was...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 1 Response May 3, 2012

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    Valentines day 2014. I'm lying on bed writing

    this. Surrounded my love. Literally. B is asleep beside me wrapped around me. I am safe. I am whole. I never thought it could be this amazing. I'm living an amazing life. Like a dream really. My ex and I have been getting along well. My children spent the day with us. B and it...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 14

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    Seeking Advice

    Hi All, I haven't left my SM yet but I have an exit strategy in place which 'should' be ready by the end of the year. I think I have thought of most things but I was wondering if any of you have any advice? I am looking for advice and/or tips as to what to expect as I am leaving...
    Minxii Minxii 36-40, F Jun 5, 2013

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    Single Questions

    Help me out here, folks…please. I am trying really hard to be an emotionally healthy single person. A single friend of mine recommended I read Living Alone & Loving It, by Barbara Feldon (yes, Maxwell Smart’s sidekick…but I digress). The book, rather than comforting me, is...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 15 Responses Oct 13, 2012

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    There Is Life After "death" .....

    Well, I did not leave, I was asked to leave ...... here is my story .... ** Although there is a lot of "I" here ... remember that it was all in the interests of the "us/we" ... which, ultimately, was the undertaking we took when committing ourselves to one another when we married...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 8, 2011

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    Although It Wasn'T A Marriage, It Was A Relationship.

    I come from the world that you need to fight off the men, they're dogs, so on and so forth. I have been single for a good 7 years, and I was ready to meet someone. I met this 6'5 dark, and handsome man. Artsy, blue collar hard working, and very funny. I was madly attracted...
    Farassha Farassha 31-35 Jun 2, 2013

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    Unfortunately, there is always "gray".

    I was in a sexless marriage for years and didn't even really know it, until I finally spoke up and looked up what the condition of my marriage was. Sure enough, when you wife only does it every 10 months out of obligation, never giving any kind of *cough* assistance like bj or...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 29

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    Moving On

    A friend of mine posted this sentiment on Facebook. Don't let the person that didn't love you. Keep you from the person who will.
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 8 Responses Aug 3, 2012

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    I Left

    Ok, same time last year, after two years of unhappiness I tried to leave by drastically moving to another state. While my time alone there was much needed, I ended up coming right back to where I was and living with my H because of my lack of proper planning. Leaving had always...
    sugarface13 sugarface13 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2011

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    Womanly Wiles

    My latest analyzations all stem from a comment a dear friend made last night. He said that if I were a game player, I could eat my man up and spit him out. This made me wonder...what the heck happened? Why don't I possess the same tools in my relationship toolbox as other women...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    What Kind Of Regrets?

    Strange as it might seem and painful as it was, there is one thing I don't regret. I don't regret my SM. It was awful and almost killed me and yet, it made me what I am now. My SM showed me my weaknesses and helped me face my fears. I addressed my issues and finally took control...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    Living Alone And Loving It.

    It is now seven months since I called it quits on my marriage and I am so happy. Since I left, I have shed many tears and felt many fears, but have since, let it all go. Since I left, I have also rediscovered my passion for writing and have even started back doing a little bit of...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2012

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    Well...2 Regrets

    I regret settling for joint custody. The judge gave me primary care and custody during the separation. I also regret not doing it sooner.  We were married 14.5 years.  It should have ended in year 3. Right now I'm happy, happy, happy!
    lickwell lickwell 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 5, 2013

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    I figured it out. It's simply.

    The reason why my marriage didn't survive. Why may husband didn't care for me the way I needed and why he cared less and less everyday. It's because we weren't friends. For all of you who say there's no sex. But you want it and need it. Who log on here to vent your frustration...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 24

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    Is This Normal?

    No regrets here. My life was spiralling down a dark emotionally vacant hole. As of September 7, I was legally out. I celebrated that evening by participating in a once-in-a-lifetime exotic sportscar driving event. I drove a Lamborghini as fast as I could. It was exhilarating and...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    Feeling Weak ....

    When things start to get to me ...When this transition to my new life seems too hard ....I re-read this quote ...." Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like ....Giving them an extra bullet for their gunbecause they missed you the first time.  "Today is one of those days...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    Moving Forward But Looking Back

    It's been a year and a month since I left my SM. It has also been a year of immense change. My son and I moved to a new country. I'm going back to school and working on juggling work, school and parenting. Do I have regrets? No. I'm happier and slowly overcoming my depression...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    My Anniversary

    Today is my anniversary. No, not my wedding anniversary. One year ago today I was drowned in love. From the ashes of my SM, I learned anew what it is like to be awash in emotional and physical intimacy. It was a defining day in my life. And his too. Despite all the pain...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 12, 2012

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    After 19 years, I finally broke

    and the divorce has been final for over a week. 3 times in our marriage there was nothing for over a year. Once it was 1.5. I became depressed last year about it and wasn't sleeping. Then 2 drunken public episodes by her broke me for good. Told her I was done, wrote the...
    GAPlayer GAPlayer 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 20

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    Freedom...Sweet Freedom

    Friday August 23rd. The last day I ever had to walk into my husband's dream home. The house that pulled me in and sucked the life out of me as my husband ignored and refused me. The huge house with the huge payment that trapped me under a financial weight too big to leave for...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    The Grass Is Greener

    Hello my EP friends! I remember when I was planning on leaving my SM, I wished that there were stories on here about life on the other side. I wanted to know if the grass was really on the other side. Well, it is not only greener, I can see all kinds of flowers. Yesterday, I...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 26, 2012

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    My Lifelong Lesson

    It took me my entire adult life to completely realize this and fully understand it. Loving someone so deeply and passionately to the point where you are giving up parts of who you are and your soul is NOT love. Its suffering, self-hatred and self- destruction. Someone who...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 16 Responses Jun 1, 2013

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    I Left My Sexless Marriage And Found My True Love

    I used to live in a sexless marriage myself for two years and experienced all the intolerable pain that anyone could go through in a SM. My ex-husband was a kind and good man with a successful career. He was everything I had ever hoped for in a husband. However, we had problems...
    yeuchip yeuchip 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I live in a sexless marriage have been for the last 6 years... Just didn't realize I was until recently. In my situation i never married for love, didn't even find him attractive...
    Sobeit06 Sobeit06 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 28

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    I will try to describe my sexless marriage. We have been together for a long time. We met in high school and were each others first lovers. Both of us were shy and insecure and...
    Amaaj Amaaj 46-50, F 6 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Well. It is finally official. I am divorced! After all the craziness, after years of sexless marriage and emotional distance, after emotional and physical abuse, after having an...
    unexpectedlove15 unexpectedlove15 26-30, F 9 Responses Aug 22

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    Hi, I'm new here and thought I would reach out and share my story. I found EP from an article on the website when I was looking up sexless marriage. I signed up to read the...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 16 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I found an interesting study on sexlessness in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. I can't share the full pdf because there's no way to upload it here, but I will copy and paste the...
    RedOctagon RedOctagon 22-25, F 9 Responses Sep 2

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    I am going to tell how trying to keep my husband in a sexless marriage turned into a terror. When my husband came back from the military his father and other wanted me to assist in...
    isis55 isis55 56-60, F 7 Responses a week ago

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    Bear with me because this may seem off topic, but it isn't. I've been recently thinking about death. Yesterday, my post sexless marriage lover had to put his beloved dog of 14...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 13 Responses Aug 21

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    Today's Dear Prudence: " Dear Prudence, My wife hates sex. Over the years, her libido has gradually faded to nothing and she now finds even the thought of intercourse unpleasant...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 19 Responses Sep 4

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    I'm sure we all have read the story of the guy who emailed his wife a spreadsheet of his failed attempts at sexual advances. I've read more than a few articles on the story...
    chuckdaly chuckdaly 36-40, M 11 Responses Aug 22

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    For those with children who are thinking of divorcing or outsourcing, a word of caution. I won't go into my background as of now, how I grew up and how little I knew and understood...
    Harley53 Harley53 56-60, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    When I originally posted in April of 2011, I was living in a sexless marriage. I was confused, heartbroken and angry... What happened in the 3 years following has nearly destroyed...
    malms malms 51-55, F 1 Response Sep 8

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    I've heard the technical definition of a sexless marriage is sex less than 10 times in a year. But what about quality? What about a partner who doesn't just roll over and tell you...
    frogchop frogchop 46-50, M 14 Responses Sep 9

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    Neglect - One of the most important things I've learned from my decision to end my sexless marriage is that I will never again tolerate being neglected by my partner. We all...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 11 Responses Aug 30

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    I had to choose a section, so I chose "I Live In a Sexless Marriage." Call it what it is. I denied it. True. If you do live in a sexless marriage, please tell me and if anyone...
    Avek Avek 61-65, F 4 Responses Sep 5

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    I wanted to post and solicit some advice. I have been waiting for my wife to go our of town for a few weeks now. I was/am planning to see a divorce lawyer, one that specializes in...
    hoss350 hoss350 41-45, M 12 Responses Sep 10

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    The compromise promise. I ran into a former colleague yesterday. When I worked with him I got to know his wife and kids, and the couple seemed happily married, but got divorced a...
    something2talkabout something2talkabout 51-55, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Is there anyone here that accepts their sexless marriage? I've been sexless for almost 10 years now! It's been a excrutiating battle up until a few years ago when I just gave up...
    jenniferdarling jenniferdarling 46-50, F 17 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Does anyone else notice a sharp increase in people who are NOT in sexless marriages that are jumping in to tell us all what we are doing wrong? Is there a troll convention in town...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 18 Responses Aug 22