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I Left A Sexless Marriage And Have No Regrets

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 171 People

    Valentines day 2014. I'm lying on bed writing

    this. Surrounded my love. Literally. B is asleep beside me wrapped around me. I am safe. I am whole. I never thought it could be this amazing. I'm living an amazing life. Like a dream really. My ex and I have been getting along well. My children spent the day with us. B and it...
    carpediem2 carpediem2
    36-40, F
    1 Response Feb 14, 2014

    Unfortunately, there is always "gray".

    I was in a sexless marriage for years and didn't even really know it, until I finally spoke up and looked up what the condition of my marriage was. Sure enough, when you wife only does it every 10 months out of obligation, never giving any kind of *cough* assistance like bj or...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 29, 2014


    We attended our last ballgame together Saturday night. The season tickets we purchased before I mustered the courage to leave him, are now gone. During our ritual pre-game tailgate (lately they have become more about personal therapy than partying) he confessed he views me...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore
    46-50, F
    8 Responses Sep 30, 2012

    I'll Never Look Back,

    I don't regret leaving, not for a second.  Don't regret how things worked out in the end either, it is what it is.  I have accepted my life and have control of it again.  The nights are not filled with pain and anguish as I lie in bed wish that he would just love me.  Trying...
    jcue1976 jcue1976
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Nov 7, 2011

    There Is Life After "death" .....

    Well, I did not leave, I was asked to leave ...... here is my story .... ** Although there is a lot of "I" here ... remember that it was all in the interests of the "us/we" ... which, ultimately, was the undertaking we took when committing ourselves to one another when we married...
    deleted deleted
    7 Responses Jun 8, 2011

    Right now? I'm sitting next to the love of my

    life. His boys sit a row in front of us. Watching high school football in the most perfect ohio friday night weather. I'm glad I left so I can experience this. My heart is full of love and I'm thankful that I will leave this stadium and head home to fall into the bed I now share...
    carpediem2 carpediem2
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Sep 5, 2014

    My Anniversary

    Today is my anniversary. No, not my wedding anniversary. One year ago today I was drowned in love. From the ashes of my SM, I learned anew what it is like to be awash in emotional and physical intimacy. It was a defining day in my life. And his too. Despite all the pain...
    deleted deleted
    Apr 12, 2012

    We are pregnant. B and I are going to be

    parents! I'm so excited. We are so excited. I have no regrets about leaving a man who chose his friends, gambling, drinking, sports....everything over his wife. I've moved on. B and I are building a life together in our new home. Our children have all met and everyone has a...
    carpediem2 carpediem2
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 28, 2014

    I figured it out. It's simply.

    The reason why my marriage didn't survive. Why may husband didn't care for me the way I needed and why he cared less and less everyday. It's because we weren't friends. For all of you who say there's no sex. But you want it and need it. Who log on here to vent your frustration...
    carpediem2 carpediem2
    36-40, F
    10 Responses Aug 24, 2014

    Gratitude To My Refuser

    I know the title caught your attention...LOL. It was intended to. Why do I have any gratitude to my X refuser? Without having lived with him for over 16 years and been rejected by him for over 12 years I do not think I would have the appreciation for life that I now have. There...
    sixand0 sixand0
    46-50, F
    13 Responses Mar 23, 2011

    Womanly Wiles

    My latest analyzations all stem from a comment a dear friend made last night. He said that if I were a game player, I could eat my man up and spit him out. This made me wonder...what the heck happened? Why don't I possess the same tools in my relationship toolbox as other women...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore
    46-50, F
    7 Responses Feb 15, 2013

    As I Go Forward....

    As i go forward in my new life it is interesting the situations that pop into my life that make me reflect on the sexless marriage. For example: I am in a new relationship, and I am aware of the past heartbreak that my current friend suffered. And my heart goes out to him. The...
    neuilly neuilly
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

    Back and forth between regret,

    feeling alone, not knowing what to do with myself and anxiety. It is gut wrenching. It is necessary! For all of you out there that just left and are in this particular place, I say HANG IN THERE! It will be amazing one day. We have to go through this heartache in order to...
    Cucly80 Cucly80
    31-35, F
    Apr 5, 2014

    Made My Escape

    I must admit, I have a strong sex drive and like to have sex a lot. My wife and I had a great sex life when we first met and then for a time after we were married. It was not unusual to have sex 5 to 10 times a week depending on what was going on in our lives. Once children...
    Cfmn2010 Cfmn2010
    51-55, M
    1 Response Feb 15, 2012

    My Daughter

    Last year, I separated from my husband.  I moved out of our family home that my 26-year-old daughter and her boyfriend had moved into.  There were many problems in my marriage.  Watching my husband and daughter sit outside together, night after night, drinking and smoking, was...
    Annikka Annikka
    51-55, F
    1 Response May 3, 2012

    I Left My Sexless Marriage And Found My True Love

    I used to live in a sexless marriage myself for two years and experienced all the intolerable pain that anyone could go through in a SM. My ex-husband was a kind and good man with a successful career. He was everything I had ever hoped for in a husband. However, we had problems...
    yeuchip yeuchip
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Oct 11, 2011

    Feeling Weak ....

    When things start to get to me ...When this transition to my new life seems too hard ....I re-read this quote ...." Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like ....Giving them an extra bullet for their gunbecause they missed you the first time.  "Today is one of those days...
    Annikka Annikka
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Mar 31, 2012

    Is This Normal?

    No regrets here. My life was spiralling down a dark emotionally vacant hole. As of September 7, I was legally out. I celebrated that evening by participating in a once-in-a-lifetime exotic sportscar driving event. I drove a Lamborghini as fast as I could. It was exhilarating and...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Sep 13, 2012

    New Chapter

    It's been three months since that ground shattering day, when the words "I want a divorce" came out of me, spilled out like long held up stream, that has been building up pressure and breaking rocks. Since then, I've been a spring creek. I lived more in last three months than in...
    Kimstarway Kimstarway
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

    To The Women Out There...

    this is a song I found that made my day because it fits my new life so well.... You know the bed feels warmer Sleeping here alone You know I dream in color And do the things I want You think you've got the best of me Think you've had enough the last laugh Bet you think that...
    Member001 Member001
    51-55, F
    Mar 17, 2013

    Well...2 Regrets

    I regret settling for joint custody. The judge gave me primary care and custody during the separation. I also regret not doing it sooner.  We were married 14.5 years.  It should have ended in year 3. Right now I'm happy, happy, happy!
    lickwell lickwell
    41-45, M
    Feb 5, 2013

    I Can See Clearly Now The Rain Has Gone...

    You know that song by Johnny Nash? The one with the lyrics "Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind" and "I think I can make it now the pain is gone? Well, that's exactly how I feel right now, and yes indeed, "It's gonna be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day"! I left my 18 year...
    41-45, F
    1 Response Apr 17, 2011

    for those of you who left,

    curious to know of any who had grade school kids ( 9 - 13 or so ) I have 2 young kids. Also, were any of you stay at home moms? I do have certifications & the ability to go back to work, but I just wanted to hear stories of how ladies ( or at home dads ) set this process in...
    catalinatowner catalinatowner
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Oct 7, 2014

    What Kind Of Regrets?

    Strange as it might seem and painful as it was, there is one thing I don't regret. I don't regret my SM. It was awful and almost killed me and yet, it made me what I am now. My SM showed me my weaknesses and helped me face my fears. I addressed my issues and finally took control...
    eternalhope eternalhope
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Sep 9, 2012

    I Finally Left And Have No Regrets!

    Like so many people out there, I lived in a sexless marriage for years. Really, the last 4 were the worst. I stayed for a variety of reasons and all of them were bad. I tried therapy on two separate occasions. He just blamed everything on me and didn't even care to try. I...
    cablegirl01 cablegirl01
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Apr 29, 2011

    New Life

    I was married for 26 years the first time to a wonderful man and we had great fell apart when the sex stopped. I needed it, wanted to be near him, with him and was celibate for 2+ years...well that kinda thing makes you feel ugly and unlovable, unwanted. I had a...
    hurricanekeeper hurricanekeeper
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Feb 22, 2013

    Although It Wasn'T A Marriage, It Was A Relationship.

    I come from the world that you need to fight off the men, they're dogs, so on and so forth. I have been single for a good 7 years, and I was ready to meet someone. I met this 6'5 dark, and handsome man. Artsy, blue collar hard working, and very funny. I was madly attracted...
    Farassha Farassha
    1 Response Jun 2, 2013

    Moving Forward But Looking Back

    It's been a year and a month since I left my SM. It has also been a year of immense change. My son and I moved to a new country. I'm going back to school and working on juggling work, school and parenting. Do I have regrets? No. I'm happier and slowly overcoming my depression...
    eternalhope eternalhope
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

    I Left

    Ok, same time last year, after two years of unhappiness I tried to leave by drastically moving to another state. While my time alone there was much needed, I ended up coming right back to where I was and living with my H because of my lack of proper planning. Leaving had always...
    sugarface13 sugarface13
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 1, 2011

    Freedom...Sweet Freedom

    Friday August 23rd. The last day I ever had to walk into my husband's dream home. The house that pulled me in and sucked the life out of me as my husband ignored and refused me. The huge house with the huge payment that trapped me under a financial weight too big to leave for...
    carpediem2 carpediem2
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Aug 26, 2013

    Seeking Advice

    Hi All, I haven't left my SM yet but I have an exit strategy in place which 'should' be ready by the end of the year. I think I have thought of most things but I was wondering if any of you have any advice? I am looking for advice and/or tips as to what to expect as I am leaving...
    Minxii Minxii
    41-45, F
    Jun 5, 2013

    Just A Small Story Of Hope

    First of all, did not start this group, It was here before I got here. I was looking for success stories concerning people who left a sexless marriage. I was looking for guidance. I am assuming that people left their sexless marriage and really never bothered to post any more...
    neuilly neuilly
    61-65, F
    16 Responses Feb 1, 2011

    Single Questions

    Help me out here, folks…please. I am trying really hard to be an emotionally healthy single person. A single friend of mine recommended I read Living Alone & Loving It, by Barbara Feldon (yes, Maxwell Smart’s sidekick…but I digress). The book, rather than comforting me, is...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore
    46-50, F
    9 Responses Oct 13, 2012
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