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I Left A Sexless Marriage And Have No Regrets

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 164 People

    Living Alone And Loving It.

    It is now seven months since I called it quits on my marriage and I am so happy. Since I left, I have shed many tears and felt many fears, but have since, let it all go. Since I left, I have also rediscovered my passion for writing and have even started back doing a little bit of...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2012

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    Closure

    We attended our last ballgame together Saturday night. The season tickets we purchased before I mustered the courage to leave him, are now gone. During our ritual pre-game tailgate (lately they have become more about personal therapy than partying) he confessed he views me...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 10 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    We are pregnant. B and I are going to be

    parents! I'm so excited. We are so excited. I have no regrets about leaving a man who chose his friends, gambling, drinking, sports....everything over his wife. I've moved on. B and I are building a life together in our new home. Our children have all met and everyone has a...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 28

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    What Kind Of Regrets?

    Strange as it might seem and painful as it was, there is one thing I don't regret. I don't regret my SM. It was awful and almost killed me and yet, it made me what I am now. My SM showed me my weaknesses and helped me face my fears. I addressed my issues and finally took control...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    I Left

    Ok, same time last year, after two years of unhappiness I tried to leave by drastically moving to another state. While my time alone there was much needed, I ended up coming right back to where I was and living with my H because of my lack of proper planning. Leaving had always...
    sugarface13 sugarface13 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2011

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    I'll Never Look Back,

    I don't regret leaving, not for a second.  Don't regret how things worked out in the end either, it is what it is.  I have accepted my life and have control of it again.  The nights are not filled with pain and anguish as I lie in bed wish that he would just love me.  Trying...
    jcue1976 jcue1976 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    Right now? I'm sitting next to the love of my

    life. His boys sit a row in front of us. Watching high school football in the most perfect ohio friday night weather. I'm glad I left so I can experience this. My heart is full of love and I'm thankful that I will leave this stadium and head home to fall into the bed I now share...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 5

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    Seeking Advice

    Hi All, I haven't left my SM yet but I have an exit strategy in place which 'should' be ready by the end of the year. I think I have thought of most things but I was wondering if any of you have any advice? I am looking for advice and/or tips as to what to expect as I am leaving...
    Minxii Minxii 36-40, F Jun 5, 2013

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    New Chapter

    It's been three months since that ground shattering day, when the words "I want a divorce" came out of me, spilled out like long held up stream, that has been building up pressure and breaking rocks. Since then, I've been a spring creek. I lived more in last three months than in...
    Kimstarway Kimstarway 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    Freedom...Sweet Freedom

    Friday August 23rd. The last day I ever had to walk into my husband's dream home. The house that pulled me in and sucked the life out of me as my husband ignored and refused me. The huge house with the huge payment that trapped me under a financial weight too big to leave for...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    To The Women Out There...

    this is a song I found that made my day because it fits my new life so well.... You know the bed feels warmer Sleeping here alone You know I dream in color And do the things I want You think you've got the best of me Think you've had enough the last laugh Bet you think that...
    Member001 Member001 46-50, F Mar 17, 2013

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    Gratitude To My Refuser

    I know the title caught your attention...LOL. It was intended to. Why do I have any gratitude to my X refuser? Without having lived with him for over 16 years and been rejected by him for over 12 years I do not think I would have the appreciation for life that I now have. There...
    sixand0 sixand0 46-50, F 13 Responses Mar 23, 2011

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    for those of you who left,

    curious to know of any who had grade school kids ( 9 - 13 or so ) I have 2 young kids. Also, were any of you stay at home moms? I do have certifications & the ability to go back to work, but I just wanted to hear stories of how ladies ( or at home dads ) set this process in...
    catalinatowner catalinatowner 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    As I Go Forward....

    As i go forward in my new life it is interesting the situations that pop into my life that make me reflect on the sexless marriage. For example: I am in a new relationship, and I am aware of the past heartbreak that my current friend suffered. And my heart goes out to him. The...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    Moving Forward But Looking Back

    It's been a year and a month since I left my SM. It has also been a year of immense change. My son and I moved to a new country. I'm going back to school and working on juggling work, school and parenting. Do I have regrets? No. I'm happier and slowly overcoming my depression...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    After 19 years, I finally broke

    and the divorce has been final for over a week. 3 times in our marriage there was nothing for over a year. Once it was 1.5. I became depressed last year about it and wasn't sleeping. Then 2 drunken public episodes by her broke me for good. Told her I was done, wrote the...
    GAPlayer GAPlayer 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 20

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    My Lifelong Lesson

    It took me my entire adult life to completely realize this and fully understand it. Loving someone so deeply and passionately to the point where you are giving up parts of who you are and your soul is NOT love. Its suffering, self-hatred and self- destruction. Someone who...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 15 Responses Jun 1, 2013

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    Womanly Wiles

    My latest analyzations all stem from a comment a dear friend made last night. He said that if I were a game player, I could eat my man up and spit him out. This made me wonder...what the heck happened? Why don't I possess the same tools in my relationship toolbox as other women...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    Valentines day 2014. I'm lying on bed writing

    this. Surrounded my love. Literally. B is asleep beside me wrapped around me. I am safe. I am whole. I never thought it could be this amazing. I'm living an amazing life. Like a dream really. My ex and I have been getting along well. My children spent the day with us. B and it...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 14

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    Feeling Weak ....

    When things start to get to me ...When this transition to my new life seems too hard ....I re-read this quote ...." Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like ....Giving them an extra bullet for their gunbecause they missed you the first time.  "Today is one of those days...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    Well...2 Regrets

    I regret settling for joint custody. The judge gave me primary care and custody during the separation. I also regret not doing it sooner.  We were married 14.5 years.  It should have ended in year 3. Right now I'm happy, happy, happy!
    lickwell lickwell 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 5, 2013

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    Although It Wasn'T A Marriage, It Was A Relationship.

    I come from the world that you need to fight off the men, they're dogs, so on and so forth. I have been single for a good 7 years, and I was ready to meet someone. I met this 6'5 dark, and handsome man. Artsy, blue collar hard working, and very funny. I was madly attracted...
    Farassha Farassha 31-35 Jun 2, 2013

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    I Finally Left And Have No Regrets!

    Like so many people out there, I lived in a sexless marriage for years. Really, the last 4 were the worst. I stayed for a variety of reasons and all of them were bad. I tried therapy on two separate occasions. He just blamed everything on me and didn't even care to try. I...
    cablegirl01 cablegirl01 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 29, 2011

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    My Anniversary

    Today is my anniversary. No, not my wedding anniversary. One year ago today I was drowned in love. From the ashes of my SM, I learned anew what it is like to be awash in emotional and physical intimacy. It was a defining day in my life. And his too. Despite all the pain...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 12, 2012

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    No Regrets But......

    Last night was one of the those nights where I just wanted to be with a man. I was not necesarily feeling for sex or release. If that was the case, I could easily fix that by myself:-). What I wanted was to feel two strong arms wrapped around me, feel the warmth of another body...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F Mar 12, 2012

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    Just A Small Story Of Hope

    First of all, did not start this group, It was here before I got here. I was looking for success stories concerning people who left a sexless marriage. I was looking for guidance. I am assuming that people left their sexless marriage and really never bothered to post any more...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 18 Responses Feb 1, 2011

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    Single Questions

    Help me out here, folks…please. I am trying really hard to be an emotionally healthy single person. A single friend of mine recommended I read Living Alone & Loving It, by Barbara Feldon (yes, Maxwell Smart’s sidekick…but I digress). The book, rather than comforting me, is...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 14 Responses Oct 13, 2012

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    I Left My Sexless Marriage And Found My True Love

    I used to live in a sexless marriage myself for two years and experienced all the intolerable pain that anyone could go through in a SM. My ex-husband was a kind and good man with a successful career. He was everything I had ever hoped for in a husband. However, we had problems...
    yeuchip yeuchip 26-30, F 6 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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    I figured it out. It's simply.

    The reason why my marriage didn't survive. Why may husband didn't care for me the way I needed and why he cared less and less everyday. It's because we weren't friends. For all of you who say there's no sex. But you want it and need it. Who log on here to vent your frustration...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 9 Responses Aug 24

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    There Is Life After "death" .....

    Well, I did not leave, I was asked to leave ...... here is my story .... ** Although there is a lot of "I" here ... remember that it was all in the interests of the "us/we" ... which, ultimately, was the undertaking we took when committing ourselves to one another when we married...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 8, 2011

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    Moving On

    A friend of mine posted this sentiment on Facebook. Don't let the person that didn't love you. Keep you from the person who will.
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 8 Responses Aug 3, 2012

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    Unfortunately, there is always "gray".

    I was in a sexless marriage for years and didn't even really know it, until I finally spoke up and looked up what the condition of my marriage was. Sure enough, when you wife only does it every 10 months out of obligation, never giving any kind of *cough* assistance like bj or...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 29

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    Is This Normal?

    No regrets here. My life was spiralling down a dark emotionally vacant hole. As of September 7, I was legally out. I celebrated that evening by participating in a once-in-a-lifetime exotic sportscar driving event. I drove a Lamborghini as fast as I could. It was exhilarating and...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    The Grass Is Greener

    Hello my EP friends! I remember when I was planning on leaving my SM, I wished that there were stories on here about life on the other side. I wanted to know if the grass was really on the other side. Well, it is not only greener, I can see all kinds of flowers. Yesterday, I...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 26, 2012

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    My Daughter

    Last year, I separated from my husband.  I moved out of our family home that my 26-year-old daughter and her boyfriend had moved into.  There were many problems in my marriage.  Watching my husband and daughter sit outside together, night after night, drinking and smoking, was...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 1 Response May 3, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I am trying to come to terms with everything. My husband wants a sexless marriage. Why? Because he feels sex interferes with his spiritual progress. I have tried talking to him...
    mairia mairia 26-30, F 15 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    One of the things I find incredible mind-f$&@ing being in a sexless marriage is the fact that my spouse can walk into my bathroom while I'm having a bubble bath and nothing...
    undecidedgal undecidedgal 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 hr ago

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    being in a sexless marriage is so frustrating. I shouldn't have to beg my husband for sex it's so sad
    sexyingrey sexyingrey 36-40, F 5 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Rediscovering Sex in a Sexless Marriage: Rediscovering sex - This is where things are at now. For those who are reading my story for the first time let me point out my marriage...
    Fireflyz26 Fireflyz26 31-35, F 13 Responses Oct 2

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    37 female in a sexless marriage. I feel too young to be going through this
    sexyingrey sexyingrey 36-40, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    I do not desire him anymore. I have been married for near 13 years now with 2 great kids. Problems in our marriage have eroded most of the love I have for him. I do not have any...
    mariefrancea mariefrancea 41-45, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Well I did it. I took everyones advice in ILIASM, and I consulted an attorney in the event that I may need to pull the parachute on my marriage. Thank you Bazaar for hammering this...
    Jane1024 Jane1024 36-40, F 6 Responses Oct 8

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    Good-bye EP Friends! Hello to all members of this forum, but especially those whom I have come to know over the past two years. I am here to say goodbye. I am very grateful to...
    Buroak Buroak 51-55, M 22 Responses 1 day ago

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    No Regrets - "Nothing is certain, except death and taxes." - Benjamin Franklin - We all know when our taxes are due, but none of us know when we will die. We could live to the...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 14 Responses Oct 16

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    To my fellow suffers I have a question. Let me first say that I know I'm an idiot. I married my first wife when I was 26 y.o.a. and I had some red flags but I thought I could fix...
    Nick5211 Nick5211 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 11

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    Slaying Dragons: A Sleepless Journey Into Oppositeland… Having spent over a year wandering in Oppositeland, the refuge for escapees from a sexless marriage, I am experiencing...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 16 Responses Oct 11

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    I MUST learn how to live celibate. It is difficult at best. This is something that I never expected out of life. I gave more than my share to my sexless marriage. We had been...
    HAR1978 HAR1978 46-50, F 17 Responses Oct 11

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    There’s a number of reasons why people live in sexless marriages, every married couple’s situation is different; you could talk to fifteen different couples and hear fifteen...
    miryam57 miryam57 56-60, F 7 Responses Oct 17

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    It is what it is. By the end of my first marriage, I wasnt having sex with my wife. Not because I didnt want to, I just couldnt. I was not attracted to her anymore. I dont mean...
    RobertCarlos RobertCarlos 46-50, M 8 Responses a week ago

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    I have been married for 34 years. We stopped having sex around 5 years ago. I am the husband. My wife tells me she just isn't interested in sex anymore. She knows I am not the kind...
    Leo502K Leo502K 61-65, M 20 Responses Sep 27

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    I'm new here and hope my post makes it to the right place. I've been with my H for 17 years. He's 10 years older than I am, I'm 55. from the beginning he had ED problems, but I...
    Sarita22 Sarita22 46-50, F 20 Responses Oct 14

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