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I Left A Sexless Marriage And Have No Regrets

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 151 People

    Moving On

    A friend of mine posted this sentiment on Facebook. Don't let the person that didn't love you. Keep you from the person who will.
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 8 Responses Aug 3, 2012

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    Well...2 Regrets

    I regret settling for joint custody. The judge gave me primary care and custody during the separation. I also regret not doing it sooner.  We were married 14.5 years.  It should have ended in year 3. Right now I'm happy, happy, happy!
    lickwell lickwell 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 5, 2013

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    After 19 years, I finally broke

    and the divorce has been final for over a week. 3 times in our marriage there was nothing for over a year. Once it was 1.5. I became depressed last year about it and wasn't sleeping. Then 2 drunken public episodes by her broke me for good. Told her I was done, wrote the...
    GAPlayer GAPlayer 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 20

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    There Is Life After "death" .....

    Well, I did not leave, I was asked to leave ...... here is my story .... ** Although there is a lot of "I" here ... remember that it was all in the interests of the "us/we" ... which, ultimately, was the undertaking we took when committing ourselves to one another when we married...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 8, 2011

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    Is This Normal?

    No regrets here. My life was spiralling down a dark emotionally vacant hole. As of September 7, I was legally out. I celebrated that evening by participating in a once-in-a-lifetime exotic sportscar driving event. I drove a Lamborghini as fast as I could. It was exhilarating and...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    Single Questions

    Help me out here, folks…please. I am trying really hard to be an emotionally healthy single person. A single friend of mine recommended I read Living Alone & Loving It, by Barbara Feldon (yes, Maxwell Smart’s sidekick…but I digress). The book, rather than comforting me, is...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 15 Responses Oct 13, 2012

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    To The Women Out There...

    this is a song I found that made my day because it fits my new life so well.... You know the bed feels warmer Sleeping here alone You know I dream in color And do the things I want You think you've got the best of me Think you've had enough the last laugh Bet you think that...
    Member001 Member001 46-50, F Mar 17, 2013

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    My Daughter

    Last year, I separated from my husband.  I moved out of our family home that my 26-year-old daughter and her boyfriend had moved into.  There were many problems in my marriage.  Watching my husband and daughter sit outside together, night after night, drinking and smoking, was...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 1 Response May 3, 2012

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    Closure

    We attended our last ballgame together Saturday night. The season tickets we purchased before I mustered the courage to leave him, are now gone. During our ritual pre-game tailgate (lately they have become more about personal therapy than partying) he confessed he views me...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 10 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    No Regrets But......

    Last night was one of the those nights where I just wanted to be with a man. I was not necesarily feeling for sex or release. If that was the case, I could easily fix that by myself:-). What I wanted was to feel two strong arms wrapped around me, feel the warmth of another body...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F Mar 12, 2012

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    Womanly Wiles

    My latest analyzations all stem from a comment a dear friend made last night. He said that if I were a game player, I could eat my man up and spit him out. This made me wonder...what the heck happened? Why don't I possess the same tools in my relationship toolbox as other women...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    Seeking Advice

    Hi All, I haven't left my SM yet but I have an exit strategy in place which 'should' be ready by the end of the year. I think I have thought of most things but I was wondering if any of you have any advice? I am looking for advice and/or tips as to what to expect as I am leaving...
    Minxii Minxii 36-40, F Jun 5, 2013

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    Left And Living Life To The Fullest

    I left my SM last spring. There were some ups and downs, the downs being I had to tighten my belt quite a bit. Christmas was a whole lot poorer this year than previous lol... okay it dang near bankrupt me. I had unexpected expenses keep cropping up. I am learning how to pay the...
    sixand0 sixand0 46-50, F 10 Responses Mar 15, 2011

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    My Anniversary

    Today is my anniversary. No, not my wedding anniversary. One year ago today I was drowned in love. From the ashes of my SM, I learned anew what it is like to be awash in emotional and physical intimacy. It was a defining day in my life. And his too. Despite all the pain...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 12, 2012

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    What Kind Of Regrets?

    Strange as it might seem and painful as it was, there is one thing I don't regret. I don't regret my SM. It was awful and almost killed me and yet, it made me what I am now. My SM showed me my weaknesses and helped me face my fears. I addressed my issues and finally took control...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    Unfortunately, there is always "gray".

    I was in a sexless marriage for years and didn't even really know it, until I finally spoke up and looked up what the condition of my marriage was. Sure enough, when you wife only does it every 10 months out of obligation, never giving any kind of *cough* assistance like bj or...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 29

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    Valentines day 2014. I'm lying on bed writing

    this. Surrounded my love. Literally. B is asleep beside me wrapped around me. I am safe. I am whole. I never thought it could be this amazing. I'm living an amazing life. Like a dream really. My ex and I have been getting along well. My children spent the day with us. B and it...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    The Grass Is Greener

    Hello my EP friends! I remember when I was planning on leaving my SM, I wished that there were stories on here about life on the other side. I wanted to know if the grass was really on the other side. Well, it is not only greener, I can see all kinds of flowers. Yesterday, I...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 26, 2012

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    Moving Forward But Looking Back

    It's been a year and a month since I left my SM. It has also been a year of immense change. My son and I moved to a new country. I'm going back to school and working on juggling work, school and parenting. Do I have regrets? No. I'm happier and slowly overcoming my depression...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    Gratitude To My Refuser

    I know the title caught your attention...LOL. It was intended to. Why do I have any gratitude to my X refuser? Without having lived with him for over 16 years and been rejected by him for over 12 years I do not think I would have the appreciation for life that I now have. There...
    sixand0 sixand0 46-50, F 13 Responses Mar 23, 2011

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    Feeling Weak ....

    When things start to get to me ...When this transition to my new life seems too hard ....I re-read this quote ...." Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like ....Giving them an extra bullet for their gunbecause they missed you the first time.  "Today is one of those days...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    My Lifelong Lesson

    It took me my entire adult life to completely realize this and fully understand it. Loving someone so deeply and passionately to the point where you are giving up parts of who you are and your soul is NOT love. Its suffering, self-hatred and self- destruction. Someone who...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 15 Responses Jun 1, 2013

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    I Finally Left And Have No Regrets!

    Like so many people out there, I lived in a sexless marriage for years. Really, the last 4 were the worst. I stayed for a variety of reasons and all of them were bad. I tried therapy on two separate occasions. He just blamed everything on me and didn't even care to try. I...
    cablegirl01 cablegirl01 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 29, 2011

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    New Chapter

    It's been three months since that ground shattering day, when the words "I want a divorce" came out of me, spilled out like long held up stream, that has been building up pressure and breaking rocks. Since then, I've been a spring creek. I lived more in last three months than in...
    Kimstarway Kimstarway 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    I'll Never Look Back,

    I don't regret leaving, not for a second.  Don't regret how things worked out in the end either, it is what it is.  I have accepted my life and have control of it again.  The nights are not filled with pain and anguish as I lie in bed wish that he would just love me.  Trying...
    jcue1976 jcue1976 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    I Left My Sexless Marriage And Found My True Love

    I used to live in a sexless marriage myself for two years and experienced all the intolerable pain that anyone could go through in a SM. My ex-husband was a kind and good man with a successful career. He was everything I had ever hoped for in a husband. However, we had problems...
    yeuchip yeuchip 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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    I Left

    Ok, same time last year, after two years of unhappiness I tried to leave by drastically moving to another state. While my time alone there was much needed, I ended up coming right back to where I was and living with my H because of my lack of proper planning. Leaving had always...
    sugarface13 sugarface13 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2011

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    As I Go Forward....

    As i go forward in my new life it is interesting the situations that pop into my life that make me reflect on the sexless marriage. For example: I am in a new relationship, and I am aware of the past heartbreak that my current friend suffered. And my heart goes out to him. The...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    Freedom...Sweet Freedom

    Friday August 23rd. The last day I ever had to walk into my husband's dream home. The house that pulled me in and sucked the life out of me as my husband ignored and refused me. The huge house with the huge payment that trapped me under a financial weight too big to leave for...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    Living Alone And Loving It.

    It is now seven months since I called it quits on my marriage and I am so happy. Since I left, I have shed many tears and felt many fears, but have since, let it all go. Since I left, I have also rediscovered my passion for writing and have even started back doing a little bit of...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2012

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    Although It Wasn'T A Marriage, It Was A Relationship.

    I come from the world that you need to fight off the men, they're dogs, so on and so forth. I have been single for a good 7 years, and I was ready to meet someone. I met this 6'5 dark, and handsome man. Artsy, blue collar hard working, and very funny. I was madly attracted...
    Farassha Farassha 31-35 Jun 2, 2013

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    Just A Small Story Of Hope

    First of all, did not start this group, It was here before I got here. I was looking for success stories concerning people who left a sexless marriage. I was looking for guidance. I am assuming that people left their sexless marriage and really never bothered to post any more...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 17 Responses Feb 1, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I never thought that I would be in a situation like this. I was raised in a strict Christian family that honed in on the importance of being a "good girl". My 1st marriage ended in...
    BHEwife BHEwife 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 30

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    "Im in a sexless marriage but I won't cheat on my spouse." The problem you hope to never face but are never prepared to face. Often people are at the end of their rope, having...
    Happablap Happablap 26-30, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    I'm 29, married for 5 years, 2 beautiful kids. Unfortunately like most here I live in a sexless marriage. I have for several years. Now some will say, your young and just not happy...
    incognito21 incognito21 26-30, M 15 Responses Jul 1

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    I am married but I live in a Sexless Marriage. Most of time I even live alone. I am so sad. I am not young anymore. Worst thing is I still look young and good-looking. I had crush...
    jackieLu jackieLu 41-45, F 6 Responses Jul 5

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    I left a 4-year sexless marriage 2 months ago and after a month of crying and mourning, I start to feel happy again. I also started dating again. However, I recently went to pick...
    PerseveringMark PerseveringMark 31-35 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    After reading some posts here about renowned marriage/relationship researcher John Gottman (the one who says the "Four Horsemen -- contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling and...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 8 Responses Jun 23

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    I think the hardest thing for me, looking back on how I got into a sexless marriage, was that it was a long slow process (a death by a thousand cuts). In some ways it would have...
    runninginthedark70 runninginthedark70 41-45, M 10 Responses Jun 25

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    I've been in a sexless marriage for 14 years. It started going down hill within the first year and I knew then something wasn't right. I've poured my heart out to him so many times...
    ABlueChristine ABlueChristine 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 29

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    I've been in a sexless marriage/relationship for 14 years: all of my 30's and now into my mid-40's. It's a total mind-****. if it weren't for my drive to get pregnant, have kids...
    thruwithblue thruwithblue 41-45, F 11 Responses Jul 2

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    Been awhile since I've posted anything. I just wanted to give everyone an update and a few words for the ones who are still stuck. Leaving was, and is the best thing that I've...
    dy958 dy958 26-30, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    I was in a sexless marriage for 10 years. Then the rat had the nerve to cheat on me with an 18 year old (he was almost 40.) 2 years after our divorce and I'm free to find love...
    Nikki351 Nikki351 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 28

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    My college sweetheart and I have been married 21 years and we have three children (11-20). My wife desires no sex. I pay very close attention to and meet her needs in all other...
    NoTalkJustDo NoTalkJustDo 41-45, M 10 Responses Jul 13

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    When I first came here about a year ago, I was so naive. I was living for many years in a sexless marriage, and wanted to find out what I could do to change and make our marriage...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jun 22

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    I don't know what experience I joined that brought such an onslaught of circle requests....although I'm guessing it had the word naked in it.....and damn near everyone of them...
    yellowroom yellowroom 51-55, F 2 Responses Jun 24

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    The Next Bit Starts With You. Here you are, having joined this group. You've already attempted "scented candles" strategies, "counselling" strategies, "REALLY talking to them...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 10 Responses Jun 24

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    So sorry this is happening in your marriage. I as, the wife, am suffering the consequences of a sexless marriage. But I am here over 24 years... it's been going on for at least...
    mwmom mwmom 46-50 17 Responses Jul 4

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    While this is about a sexless relationship, not a sexless marriage, there is an important lesson in here for those in sexless relationships because your partners claim that you...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 11 Responses Jul 13

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    Hello all you wonderful EP folks, I have another update on my formerly sexless marriage. If you want the back story, read my previous posts as they will shed light on the progress...
    mistereko mistereko 36-40, M 13 Responses Jul 14

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    Almost a month out post divorce. I didn't realize how much you could cram into one month. So overall I would say I am feeling stagnant, however the outside world may see progress...
    Usernametbd Usernametbd 36-40, M