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I Left A Sexless Marriage And Have No Regrets

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 148 People

    Moving On

    A friend of mine posted this sentiment on Facebook. Don't let the person that didn't love you. Keep you from the person who will.
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 8 Responses Aug 3, 2012

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    Gratitude To My Refuser

    I know the title caught your attention...LOL. It was intended to. Why do I have any gratitude to my X refuser? Without having lived with him for over 16 years and been rejected by him for over 12 years I do not think I would have the appreciation for life that I now have. There...
    sixand0 sixand0 46-50, F 13 Responses Mar 23, 2011

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    There Is Life After "death" .....

    Well, I did not leave, I was asked to leave ...... here is my story .... ** Although there is a lot of "I" here ... remember that it was all in the interests of the "us/we" ... which, ultimately, was the undertaking we took when committing ourselves to one another when we married...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 8, 2011

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    Moving Forward But Looking Back

    It's been a year and a month since I left my SM. It has also been a year of immense change. My son and I moved to a new country. I'm going back to school and working on juggling work, school and parenting. Do I have regrets? No. I'm happier and slowly overcoming my depression...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    Unfortunately, there is always "gray".

    I was in a sexless marriage for years and didn't even really know it, until I finally spoke up and looked up what the condition of my marriage was. Sure enough, when you wife only does it every 10 months out of obligation, never giving any kind of *cough* assistance like bj or...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 2 Responses Jan 29

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    I'll Never Look Back,

    I don't regret leaving, not for a second.  Don't regret how things worked out in the end either, it is what it is.  I have accepted my life and have control of it again.  The nights are not filled with pain and anguish as I lie in bed wish that he would just love me.  Trying...
    jcue1976 jcue1976 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    Freedom...Sweet Freedom

    Friday August 23rd. The last day I ever had to walk into my husband's dream home. The house that pulled me in and sucked the life out of me as my husband ignored and refused me. The huge house with the huge payment that trapped me under a financial weight too big to leave for...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    I Finally Left And Have No Regrets!

    Like so many people out there, I lived in a sexless marriage for years. Really, the last 4 were the worst. I stayed for a variety of reasons and all of them were bad. I tried therapy on two separate occasions. He just blamed everything on me and didn't even care to try. I...
    cablegirl01 cablegirl01 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 29, 2011

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    Although It Wasn'T A Marriage, It Was A Relationship.

    I come from the world that you need to fight off the men, they're dogs, so on and so forth. I have been single for a good 7 years, and I was ready to meet someone. I met this 6'5 dark, and handsome man. Artsy, blue collar hard working, and very funny. I was madly attracted...
    Farassha Farassha 31-35 Jun 2, 2013

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    Closure

    We attended our last ballgame together Saturday night. The season tickets we purchased before I mustered the courage to leave him, are now gone. During our ritual pre-game tailgate (lately they have become more about personal therapy than partying) he confessed he views me...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 10 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    I Left

    Ok, same time last year, after two years of unhappiness I tried to leave by drastically moving to another state. While my time alone there was much needed, I ended up coming right back to where I was and living with my H because of my lack of proper planning. Leaving had always...
    sugarface13 sugarface13 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2011

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    I Left My Sexless Marriage And Found My True Love

    I used to live in a sexless marriage myself for two years and experienced all the intolerable pain that anyone could go through in a SM. My ex-husband was a kind and good man with a successful career. He was everything I had ever hoped for in a husband. However, we had problems...
    yeuchip yeuchip 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 11, 2011

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    My Anniversary

    Today is my anniversary. No, not my wedding anniversary. One year ago today I was drowned in love. From the ashes of my SM, I learned anew what it is like to be awash in emotional and physical intimacy. It was a defining day in my life. And his too. Despite all the pain...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 12, 2012

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    Feeling Weak ....

    When things start to get to me ...When this transition to my new life seems too hard ....I re-read this quote ...." Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like ....Giving them an extra bullet for their gunbecause they missed you the first time.  "Today is one of those days...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2012

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    Left And Living Life To The Fullest

    I left my SM last spring. There were some ups and downs, the downs being I had to tighten my belt quite a bit. Christmas was a whole lot poorer this year than previous lol... okay it dang near bankrupt me. I had unexpected expenses keep cropping up. I am learning how to pay the...
    sixand0 sixand0 46-50, F 10 Responses Mar 15, 2011

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    New Chapter

    It's been three months since that ground shattering day, when the words "I want a divorce" came out of me, spilled out like long held up stream, that has been building up pressure and breaking rocks. Since then, I've been a spring creek. I lived more in last three months than in...
    Kimstarway Kimstarway 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    The Grass Is Greener

    Hello my EP friends! I remember when I was planning on leaving my SM, I wished that there were stories on here about life on the other side. I wanted to know if the grass was really on the other side. Well, it is not only greener, I can see all kinds of flowers. Yesterday, I...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 26, 2012

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    As I Go Forward....

    As i go forward in my new life it is interesting the situations that pop into my life that make me reflect on the sexless marriage. For example: I am in a new relationship, and I am aware of the past heartbreak that my current friend suffered. And my heart goes out to him. The...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    Seeking Advice

    Hi All, I haven't left my SM yet but I have an exit strategy in place which 'should' be ready by the end of the year. I think I have thought of most things but I was wondering if any of you have any advice? I am looking for advice and/or tips as to what to expect as I am leaving...
    Minxii Minxii 36-40, F Jun 5, 2013

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    What Kind Of Regrets?

    Strange as it might seem and painful as it was, there is one thing I don't regret. I don't regret my SM. It was awful and almost killed me and yet, it made me what I am now. My SM showed me my weaknesses and helped me face my fears. I addressed my issues and finally took control...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 9, 2012

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    Just A Small Story Of Hope

    First of all, did not start this group, It was here before I got here. I was looking for success stories concerning people who left a sexless marriage. I was looking for guidance. I am assuming that people left their sexless marriage and really never bothered to post any more...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 17 Responses Feb 1, 2011

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    No Regrets But......

    Last night was one of the those nights where I just wanted to be with a man. I was not necesarily feeling for sex or release. If that was the case, I could easily fix that by myself:-). What I wanted was to feel two strong arms wrapped around me, feel the warmth of another body...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F Mar 12, 2012

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    Well...2 Regrets

    I regret settling for joint custody. The judge gave me primary care and custody during the separation. I also regret not doing it sooner.  We were married 14.5 years.  It should have ended in year 3. Right now I'm happy, happy, happy!
    lickwell lickwell 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 5, 2013

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    Valentines day 2014. I'm lying on bed writing

    this. Surrounded my love. Literally. B is asleep beside me wrapped around me. I am safe. I am whole. I never thought it could be this amazing. I'm living an amazing life. Like a dream really. My ex and I have been getting along well. My children spent the day with us. B and it...
    carpediem2 carpediem2 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    To The Women Out There...

    this is a song I found that made my day because it fits my new life so well.... You know the bed feels warmer Sleeping here alone You know I dream in color And do the things I want You think you've got the best of me Think you've had enough the last laugh Bet you think that...
    Member001 Member001 46-50, F Mar 17, 2013

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    Living Alone And Loving It.

    It is now seven months since I called it quits on my marriage and I am so happy. Since I left, I have shed many tears and felt many fears, but have since, let it all go. Since I left, I have also rediscovered my passion for writing and have even started back doing a little bit of...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2012

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    My Lifelong Lesson

    It took me my entire adult life to completely realize this and fully understand it. Loving someone so deeply and passionately to the point where you are giving up parts of who you are and your soul is NOT love. Its suffering, self-hatred and self- destruction. Someone who...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 15 Responses Jun 1, 2013

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    Womanly Wiles

    My latest analyzations all stem from a comment a dear friend made last night. He said that if I were a game player, I could eat my man up and spit him out. This made me wonder...what the heck happened? Why don't I possess the same tools in my relationship toolbox as other women...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Feb 15, 2013

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    Is This Normal?

    No regrets here. My life was spiralling down a dark emotionally vacant hole. As of September 7, I was legally out. I celebrated that evening by participating in a once-in-a-lifetime exotic sportscar driving event. I drove a Lamborghini as fast as I could. It was exhilarating and...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    Single Questions

    Help me out here, folks…please. I am trying really hard to be an emotionally healthy single person. A single friend of mine recommended I read Living Alone & Loving It, by Barbara Feldon (yes, Maxwell Smart’s sidekick…but I digress). The book, rather than comforting me, is...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 15 Responses Oct 13, 2012

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    My Daughter

    Last year, I separated from my husband.  I moved out of our family home that my 26-year-old daughter and her boyfriend had moved into.  There were many problems in my marriage.  Watching my husband and daughter sit outside together, night after night, drinking and smoking, was...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 1 Response May 3, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My life is a sham. I am a 37 year old female and have been married to my husband for 2 years and together for 4. He has never been interested in sex with me but we did long...
    Pattycakey Pattycakey 36-40, F 13 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I have started living a selfless life. My son only has me and my husband (as a father figure) with whome I have a sexless marriage. The rest of his immediate family hv passed away...
    Mamta123 Mamta123 41-45, F 10 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Make that, that I used to live in a marriage that was becoming a sexless marriage. Today would have been our second anniversary. The story is complicated, but to make it short, she...
    soundtrackforantarctica soundtrackforantarctica 26-30, M 8 Responses Mar 25

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    We met in a 3 month long nursing class & work together. He knew dad & came to His funeral. He surprisingly kissed me out of the blue at a bar after some drinks & told me about his...
    BlueEyes3182 BlueEyes3182 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 1

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    Normal.... There are many stories on here about after leaving marriages and having normal relationships. Well I haven't left my marriage yet. I have talked to a lawyer and...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 12 Responses Apr 11

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    Psychology Today has a couple of recent articles regarding "Does Sexless marriage justify adultery". The articles are reasonable and informed and the comments worthwhile. They...
    hl42 hl42 51-55, M 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    Remember the Peanuts cartoons where Charlie Brown tried and tried to kick the football held by Lucy? Charlie Brown would approach the ball, skeptical and questioning: "If I try to...
    indianoutlaw indianoutlaw 31-35, M 9 Responses Apr 2

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    Before and After … Nearing 8 months after my separation, I reflect on the emotional desert I have called my marriage. During those years, I was starved for a smile or a hug. A...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 11 Responses Apr 6

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    Those who do not have to deal with this situation must find it odd that those of us who do, express such deep sadness and longing. How often do the comments suggested the simple...
    DumbLondoner DumbLondoner 51-55, M 18 Responses 6 days ago

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    Well I lived in a sexless marriage for 9 years. About 14 months ago I left finally and an starting over. I tried everything I could to revive our marriage. From candle light...
    Leavinstevin Leavinstevin 41-45, M 21 Responses 5 days ago

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    I can't believe it. Over two years and a half years gone....And, let me tell you I have had more sex in these past two years then the twelve years of that relationship combined...
    rosedl rosedl 41-45, F Mar 26

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    Update from Opposite Land Even though I normally have sex 3-4 times a week with my beloved post sexless marriage lover, I haven't had sex for a week. Why? He is sick with...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 14 Responses Apr 10

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    Two weeks ago, I shared what I thought would be my current status for awhile. Life being what it is - it has thrown me into a crazy roller coaster loop once again. The good news...
    lightblueeyes lightblueeyes 46-50, F 21 Responses Mar 28

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    For anyone still on the fence bout getting out: I am much less lonely alone(as alone as you can be surrounded by a pack of dogs!) than I ever was while still living in my sexless...
    Solonely80 Solonely80 31-35, F 11 Responses Apr 9

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    This is a little scary, posting about such private matters to people I've never met, but here goes. I googled sexless marriage for the first time today. What triggered it was the...
    TCKat TCKat 36-40, F 11 Responses Apr 10

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    Talking Points - To get agreement to separate Now I have to solicit advice from those here on ILIASM that have successfully left their marriages with no fight, no rancor, but...
    EinEngel EinEngel 46-50, F 17 Responses Apr 11

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    It really does amaze me how many people are in a sexless marriage. I guess maybe because I'm an extremely sexual person, and my partner matches that, that I could never see myself...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    What would you consider sexless marriage? no sex in 1 month? 1 year? 5 yrs? How can anyone survive a sexless marriage without cheating? Just curious as I didn't know so many people...
    wiredwolf wiredwolf 31-35, M 9 Responses 6 days ago

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    I stumbled across this song on YouTube. I'm a Natalie Merchant fan and was surprised I hadn't heard this song before. I've done some research about the meaning of the song. I read...
    greeneyedlady72 greeneyedlady72 41-45, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    Note from opposite land My post sexless marriage love and I debuted this weekend a skit about our romance. It was part of a cabaret show at the community theatre where we met...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 6 Responses Mar 22

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    I had an incredible night. I have to share my experience. I was raised by my Grandmother, who lived in a sexless marriage. My Grandfather was a mean, cold, loveless husband. He...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 41-45, F 11 Responses Mar 25

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    Survey Says 1 In 5 Unhappily Married Women Are In A Sexless Marriage http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/21/marriage-infidelity-study_n_5009245.html
    LynxKitty LynxKitty 36-40, F 10 Responses Mar 23

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    Another thing missing from this sexless marriage, besides intimacy, love and respect is fun and laughter. (Jeez, what exactly do I get from this marriage) I thought that I had...
    Gingersnapped Gingersnapped 51-55, F 13 Responses Mar 25