I Like a Good Joke

* HATE has 4 letters, but so does LOVE.
* ENEMIES has 7, but so does FRIENDS.
* LYING has 5, but so does TRUTH.
* HURT has 4, but so does HEAL.
* NEGATIVE has 8, but so does POSITIVE.
* FAILURE has 7, but so does SUCCESS.
* UNDER...

A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went
on a field trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses. When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the...

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer...

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim...

A man finally got around to going fishing one morning but after a while he ran out of worms. Then he saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite him with the frog in its...

A Lady went to the store tobuy a parrot and asks the salesperson "What's so specialabout the parrot ?"Sales person" this parrot cantalk" So the lady asks theparrot " how do i look?" Theparrot replies " you look like aprostitute?"The...

What is very long?

Which has delicious cup at its end

which can be sucked

we can move our tongue all around it

moving tongue from top to down.. and down to up

which is very creamy in mouth

and you can hold it and enjoy...

A young lad took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride finished and she seemed a bit bored.
"What would you like to do next?" he asked.
"I wanna be weighed," she...

At last a guy has taken the time to write down this all. Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all...

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a...

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he...

The first day that he married he said to his wife ''woman in the stable there is a black horse don't go there because the black horse is very wild'' and she said ''ok''.
After three years he's wife decided to go to the stable to see,the...

George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in...

Heather invited her mother over for dinner. During the meal, her mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate
was.

She had long been suspicious of Heather's sexuality and this only made her more curious.

Over...

Usually everyone who has a dog would call him Rover or something, well I call mine “Sex”.  ever since i was a kid..
Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew how embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he...

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.  As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi...

there once were 2 friends hunting. lets name them..
bob and todd...
todd needed to take a pee break so they stopped to pee.
while todd pee'd a snake came from nowhere and bit his dingling.
todd screamed in pain as bob asked wut happened...

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in...