Nigel was telling his mate Kevin about the first time he tried phone sex. "Was it good mate?" asked Kevin. "No it was embarassing, had to go to casualty to get the phone removed...
Some days I just need a gut wrenching Laugh!!
Some days I need good cry!!
This week will have enough of both I think!!
love when people make me laugh good sense of humor is great to have
A work colleague took me on a date last night but his car broke down on way there. I sat in his car chuckling while this poor guy flapped about and tried to solve the problem...
Goodbyes are something I detest, ever since I had to say goodbye to my mother. There's just something about it... That constant fear it might be the last time you've talked to that...
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says...
In college, we had an all girls' college nearby that we'd go visit for tomcatting around to find dates and meet girls. One of my friends had a girlfriend there and he was riding in...
I hate goodbyes but I feel one looming overhead. Apparently our decision that we mutually made meant more than you want to admit. A friendship of several years feels like it's...
We had a senile old female teacher for math in high school who was high functioning but couldn't tell gag questions from real ones. My class was almost all guys and jocks that had...
As a country boy I wore boots most of the time being around animals and manure all the time. I had a true talent for unintentionally stepping in any fresh manure wihin a mile of me...
Some of the best laughs as kids were in various adventures in grade school. Some of the kids were surprisingly skilled at various lock picking and similar skills that came in handy...
One of our favorite gags in grade school was to mix up all of the different foods being served in the school lunch that day and make it look as awful as possible. We'd then carry...
In grade school we had some fun at different people's expense. We had an Art teacher who simply didn't have very good people skills with grade school aged students. She didn't...
lol, talking with my phones voice command :D..
it actually says it has feelings to some extent..
if i ask "who is ur father" it says it has many developers..
if i ask if it can...
When I was walking up to my car I trip at least 20 times. I stop and count...
Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A. You kick his sister in the jaw.
Helps me forget why I'm so sad.
Apparently you disagree.
Yep. You got that right.
Well Me can tell you aint the guy who gets the book that says which wild mushrooms are safe to eat.
She married and had 13 children.
Then her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died.
She remarried a 3rd time and had 5 more children.
Woman complain about balancing a career and home life.
They should try balancing a lap top while jacking off!!
My girlfriend caught me blow drying my shaft and asked what I was doing.
Apparently " heating your dinner" was not the right answer.
- Do you speak English?
- Abdul Al-Rhazim
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no.... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female.... sometimes camel...
Q. Why are men smarter during sex?
A. Because during sex they're plugged into a fking know it all.
Awwww you're spreading rumours about me? At least you found a hobby spreading something other than your legs!
By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you.... blocked and deleted. You may now......
.... Kiss my ***.
Man to wife...... " do you t hink the doctor could give me some pills to improve my sex urge? "
" No honey", she replies. "He can only Heal the sick NOT raise the dead!.