This one's a bit old now, but I remember laughing out loud the first time I saw this years ago... If you've never seen this clip from The One Ronnie and are looking for a good pun...
It's one if the reasons I'm with my boyfriend. He makes me laugh.
New diet fade:
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous...
Laughter is a wonderful gift. It is a shame we do not give it more.
I must tell you about my serious problem.
It always happening in the morning 5 minutes before I wake up. I am dreaming about waking up and going to the bathroom. Which means I pee...
I asked the zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
I would like to watch a movie with my woman.
Could you recommend a good woman?
I hate goodbyes, especially when someone is waiting by the car, expecting you wave you off and it won't start and you sit there, judder judder, with smelly blue smoke, coming out...
Of course I don't, who does?
And then I tried something, I said goodbye in the right way. I did not alienate them, I was not mean to them. I simply expressed my gratitude to them...
My best friend and I can't be friends anymore.Neither one of us wanted to end the friendship but to unforeseen circumstances we are not allowed to see each other for two years I...
HAHAHAHA you smoke crack don't ya!? YOU SMOKE CRACK DON'T YA!?
A lonley beach...I.....walk
a-lone by the sea......
Thinking of you...of....
U and.....of me
Whats one sweet kiss...one..
Tiny ...little ....touch
Dont these sad eyes.....tell
Friend pissed me off and I need to not be so pissy. Anyone wanna help?
Laughing makes me happy and when I'm having a good laugh I'm also thinking about how great my life is
Stop asking me to find your X.
She's not coming back.
I don't know Y either.
there's no honor among thieves. well, except for us of coarse...
Guys, if a police woman will stop you and says "Anything you say can and will be held against you", don't say "boobs".
I was once at the airport and someone saw a friend and I guess it's the way it was said: "Hi Jaaack"!
Then we saw all the securities came around him!
I have a problem with my wife. Strangely her reaction to complain is the same as the problem.
She doesn't give a ****.
Once I've advertised on Craigslist:
I've got 23450 messages from men saying: "You can have mine".
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who the hell May was.
I couldn't help but share this one!!!!
I find it funny that 30-50 year old guys without profile pics and experiences all about sex message me and think im actually gonna reply 😂😂 dumbasses
Friendship between women:
- OMG. I am so fat.
- Silly, you are not fat, you are perfect.
Friendship between men:
- I am fat.
- Yes dude. And ugly too. :-))
In every love story, there will always be a Romeo and a Juliet.
Happily Ever Afters.
And fighting for a loved one.
It's been written in book for years, decades...
"Never say goodbye. If you don?t say 'goodbye,' then you aren't really gone. You just... aren't here right now." - Carolina. I used to agree with this but now I wish I was brave...
BIRDS and BEES
Every night before little preschooler Annie went to bed, her dad would take her for a walk around the block.
One night on the walk, they walk by a house and saw 2...
it's time to end it all. goodbye to all who have helped me in my fight but I have lost. I am gonna cut for each person I love and a special one for James. Goodbye people. I'm sorry...