Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Like Bad Puns

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 448 People

    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I saw the depressed mathematician,

    I asked “What sum adder with you?”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Nov 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Someone stole my frock,

    but I shawl overcome.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How do you cut a diamond?

    With a karat-y chop.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jasonoker jasonoker 26-30, M 3 Responses Jan 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If your friend says “Let's have a sausage

    party”, you better prepare for the wurst.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “I heard the new auto body shop

    that opened comes highly wreck-a-mended.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Japanese Sword Fighters It's a lengthy

    article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I like bad puns. Examples: "I changed my

    iPod's name to Titantic. It's syncing now." "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it." "Velcro, what a rip off!" "This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
    immieomg immieomg 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Don't ask me about bridges!

    It's like the spannish inquisition.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “I searched for designer compression

    stockings. My wife says it is because I'm so vein.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Word Play

    What do you call a sleeping relative ? A Napkin What do you get when you cross a dove and a high chair? A Stool Pigeon What do you get when you cross a dog with a daisy? A Collie-flower Name the largest stone A Milestone IF FEDEX an UPS were to merge, what might they be known as...
    yrral32 yrral32 61-65, M 3 Responses Jan 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in

    big trouble. You have my Word.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “Why did the farmer grow

    so many pumpkins? Because he was gourd at it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Dec 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “Despite pressure to clean up their act,

    most dirtbags live in a vacuum.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I made a Halloween pun in January.

    Guess I spook too soon.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196

    of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ouch!

    Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New...
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M 9 Responses Mar 17, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday in

    Minneapolis of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Baker

    A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    dynosophical dynosophical 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There was a prison break

    and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 5, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Sep 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why was the brush late

    for work? It over-swept
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the

    other day. She was a bouncer.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm a sucker for guys

    who say "lame" jokes.
    Realitea Realitea 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Bicycle

    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I took a pole today and 100% of strippers were

    mad that they had nothing to dance on.
    atiekay atiekay 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It doesn't get Eddie Vedder

    than Pearl Jam.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 14

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I asked someone about 1920s German musicals,

    their answer was curt, vile and 3d. Full marks if you get the last pun.
    runtom runtom 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I went to a horticultural conference

    and they said ‘Please be seeded.'
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There are 10 types of people in the world: those

    that understand binary and those that don't.
    runtom runtom 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “Why do ship captains understand their sons

    so well? They're able to fathom the depth of their buoys!”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “I went to go see the movie 'Shrek' last

    weekend, it was so ogre rated.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Overfishing makes us hard of herring.

    I won't eat farmed fish either: I don't believe in roughy housing, or carp pooling. I've haddock up to here!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “I decided not to go to Pisa,

    but I was leaning towards it.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm not very versed in writing songs,

    so I refrain from doing it.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “Murder with knives is very messy,

    and I suggest not taking a stab at it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel