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I Like Bad Puns

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 664 People

    Love them! They're the best; I love cheesy

    humor. So if you have any bad or good puns or cheesy jokes, they're always welcome with me!
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 23, 2015

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    The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday in

    Minneapolis of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 8, 2015

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    When my girlfriend said she was leaving

    because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 4 Responses Jul 16, 2015

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    A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196

    of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 10, 2014

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    A blind man walks into a bar.

    And a table. And a chair.
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M Apr 10, 2014

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    There was a prison break

    and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Sep 5, 2014

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    You know the problem with grapes these days.

    People just aren't raisin them right.”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jun 19, 2015

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    So two hats were on a coat hanger,

    one hat says to the other: "stay back, i'll go on a head"
    itsybitsyfrosty itsybitsyfrosty 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 6, 2015

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    If a Russian soldier struggles to get your

    drink fast but did it on purpose, is he RUSSIAN or is he STALIN?
    TheMechanicalAnimals TheMechanicalAnimals 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 18, 2015

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    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jul 12, 2015

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    The elderly chef retired

    because his sage was showing.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 4 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    I wonder if servants got the title of peon

    because people would always pee on them
    smitlord smitlord 16-17, M Sep 4, 2015

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    Sometimes I even make them unintentionally.

    I told my friend I have to go to the gas station tomorrow because it's free coffee day, and I need to fill up. He was confused because he didn't think I had a car. I don't, I meant I was going to fill up on coffee. So I made a pun without even realizing it. I am sure that...
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    “I decided not to go to Pisa,

    but I was leaning towards it.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jan 27, 2015

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    I caught a squirrel with my bra,

    by setting a bobby trap.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 11, 2015

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    justmerae1 justmerae1 46-50, F Dec 14, 2015

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    I was at Olive Garden with one of my best

    friends yesterday and I was eating a dish that had artichoke in it and I almost choked. Guess that's why they call it artichoke. x3
    jeanettetheace jeanettetheace 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 4, 2015

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    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 5 Responses Jan 7, 2014

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    “I went out with a coal miner's daughter.

    I guess you could say I was carbon dated.”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 5 Responses May 2, 2015

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    I like bad puns. Examples: "I changed my

    iPod's name to Titantic. It's syncing now." "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it." "Velcro, what a rip off!" "This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
    immieomg immieomg 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    My sister and I were at the beach.

    This is our following conversation: Sis: Come in the water with me Me: No thanks, I'm good. Sis: You're so boring. You never do anything. Me: Dont be so salty Sis: Dont start Me: I don't undersand what the issue is Sis: Seriously just stop Me: How am I currently...
    Quietec Quietec 13-15, F Jan 10

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    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 28, 2015

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    “Many people suffer terribly from hay fever.

    Isn't this news simply a pollen?”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Aug 11, 2015

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    I have some pretty bad ones I walked into my

    sisters room and tripped on a bra it was a booby trap I heard two peanuts walked to the park one was assaulted I'm reading a book on antigravity it's impossible to put down its not that the guy couldn't juggle he just didn't a have the balls to do it I tried to catch fog...
    natsufairy12 natsufairy12 13-15, M 2 Responses Jul 1, 2015

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    I know this is a commercial

    for "eggs" but there is one line in here that gets me so mad because I keep expecting him to say "Why have ordinary...when you can have EGGstradonary?" but instead he says "the best?" then I feel sort of disappointed.
    DesiredUserNameandStuff DesiredUserNameandStuff 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 30, 2015

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    “I tried talking to my dentist during a

    cleaning, but my words got flossed in translation.”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 27, 2015

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    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 8, 2015

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    Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in

    big trouble. You have my Word.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    we were talking about the rising cost of eggs

    this weekend in which I said in the most cheesy tone, "it's getting 'egg'spensive"
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jun 8, 2015

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    The Baker

    A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    “You know the problem with grapes these days.

    People just aren't raisin them right.”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jun 26, 2015

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    What do idiots drink?

    soduhhhhhh What do you call it went to dogs on separate planes fly past each other? A dog fight What does soda call their dad? pop
    smitlord smitlord 16-17, M Jul 6, 2015

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    “The doorway was crushed

    when the transom was taken for ransom.”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2015

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    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 5 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    “When the golfer with a serious iron

    deficiency went back to the doctor for a check-up he was told that he was still not out of the woods.”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 4, 2015

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    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jun 18, 2015

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    Hyst3ria Hyst3ria 18-21 4 Responses Jun 22, 2015

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    Clement Moore was tying his tie

    before going to Christmas Eve service. He said, 'Twas the knot before Christmas.'”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 1 Response Jun 4, 2015

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    My friend's addicted to drinking brake fluid,

    but he says he can "stop" any time he wants!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 5 Responses Apr 15, 2015

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    I stumbled across this one online

    and laughed over it for a good minute: On my tombstone it will read, "Not appreciating my puns while I was alive was a grave mistake." 😂😂😂😂 ok this still gets to me
    sophiebelle27 sophiebelle27 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 14

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    I will tell you a Chemistry joke

    but I know I would not get a reaction.
    whitesunshine87 whitesunshine87 51-55, F 4 Responses Apr 26, 2015

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    “I'm reading a book about mazes,

    I got lost in it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 5 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    I'm not very versed in writing songs,

    so I refrain from doing it.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    dynosophical dynosophical 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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