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I Like Bad Puns

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 436 People

    I'm a sucker for guys

    who say "lame" jokes.
    Realitea Realitea 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2014

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    jasonoker jasonoker 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 5

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    It doesn't get Eddie Vedder

    than Pearl Jam.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 14

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    “I searched for designer compression

    stockings. My wife says it is because I'm so vein.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 2

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    “I heard the new auto body shop

    that opened comes highly wreck-a-mended.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Japanese Sword Fighters It's a lengthy

    article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 4, 2013

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    A blind man walks into a bar.

    And a table. And a chair.
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M Apr 10, 2014

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    When I saw the depressed mathematician,

    I asked “What sum adder with you?”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    A Bicycle

    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 15, 2013

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    “Why do ship captains understand their sons

    so well? They're able to fathom the depth of their buoys!”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in

    big trouble. You have my Word.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    “I went to go see the movie 'Shrek' last

    weekend, it was so ogre rated.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the

    other day. She was a bouncer.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    What did Adam say on the day

    before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    I had a friend that collected police cars,

    ambulances and fire trucks. It was an estate of emergency when he died.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 25, 2014

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    There was a prison break

    and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 5, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    Ouch!

    Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New...
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M 9 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    I asked someone about 1920s German musicals,

    their answer was curt, vile and 3d. Full marks if you get the last pun.
    runtom runtom 56-60, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    How do you heal a rash on a pig?

    You give it oinkment.
    Qwirky Qwirky 18-21, F Dec 1, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 7, 2014

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    What The.......

    A hole has been found in a nudest camp wall,police are looking into it.......Two silk worms had a race,they ended up in a tie.....She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.....I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger ,then it hit me
    thezigzagman thezigzagman 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 6, 2012

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    Life under the waves is unhappy.

    Everywhere you look, you sea anemone.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 6, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    Italy just announced a carbin' tax.

    It was pasta by very wide majority.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 4, 2014

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    “Why did the farmer grow

    so many pumpkins? Because he was gourd at it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Dec 1, 2014

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    The Baker

    A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 7, 2013

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    Don't ask me about bridges!

    It's like the spannish inquisition.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    Someone stole my frock,

    but I shawl overcome.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 13

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    A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196

    of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 10, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 9

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    If you howl at the moon,

    does it make you a swearwolf?
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    If your friend says “Let's have a sausage

    party”, you better prepare for the wurst.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 17

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    “I'm reading a book about mazes,

    I got lost in it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    dynosophical dynosophical 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    The elderly chef retired

    because his sage was showing.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    What were the headlines

    after a midget fortuneteller escaped from jail? Small medium at large
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M Apr 10, 2014

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    smashman793 smashman793 18-21, M Nov 28, 2014

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    I like bad puns. Examples: "I changed my

    iPod's name to Titantic. It's syncing now." "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it." "Velcro, what a rip off!" "This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
    immieomg immieomg 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    “Murder with knives is very messy,

    and I suggest not taking a stab at it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 1

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    What is a human wolf

    who is lost? A wherewolf.
    smashman793 smashman793 18-21, M Nov 27, 2014

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    Lindsy18 Lindsy18 13-15, F Nov 4, 2014

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    “It was boring to listen to the prisoner

    as he kept repeating how sorry he was for his crime. He was con trite.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 15

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 12, 2014

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    I made a Halloween pun in January.

    Guess I spook too soon.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Word Play

    What do you call a sleeping relative ? A Napkin What do you get when you cross a dove and a high chair? A Stool Pigeon What do you get when you cross a dog with a daisy? A Collie-flower Name the largest stone A Milestone IF FEDEX an UPS were to merge, what might they be known as...
    yrral32 yrral32 61-65, M 3 Responses Jan 15, 2012

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