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I Like Bad Puns

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 424 People

    What is a human wolf

    who is lost? A wherewolf.
    smashman793 smashman793 18-21, M Nov 27

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    A Bicycle

    A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 15, 2013

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    A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196

    of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 10

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    I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the

    other day. She was a bouncer.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 13

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    I had a friend that collected police cars,

    ambulances and fire trucks. It was an estate of emergency when he died.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 25

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    Japanese Sword Fighters It's a lengthy

    article on Japanese Sword Fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 4, 2013

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    I was bothering some people about food the

    other day. They got fed up.
    LuffyDSmith LuffyDSmith 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 1

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    “Why did the farmer grow

    so many pumpkins? Because he was gourd at it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Dec 1

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    What were the headlines

    after a midget fortuneteller escaped from jail? Small medium at large
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M Apr 10

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    Ouch!

    Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New...
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M 9 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    dynosophical dynosophical 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 26

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    The elderly chef retired

    because his sage was showing.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 26

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    smashman793 smashman793 18-21, M Nov 28

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    I want to start eating more cereal,

    but I don’t know if I’m Shreddie.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Sep 22

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    How do you heal a rash on a pig?

    You give it oinkment.
    Qwirky Qwirky 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    Life under the waves is unhappy.

    Everywhere you look, you sea anemone.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 6

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 11

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    “I went to go see the movie 'Shrek' last

    weekend, it was so ogre rated.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    I think its hilarious

    and cute :)
    tessagj14 tessagj14 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 27

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    Ok this is something I'm totally guilty of

    and its deliberate on my part. My ex used to hate it (not only her ) but I get into making these ridiculously bad puns and thinking they're crazy funny and then laughing my add off at them . Ye, sometimes im weird and I dig it .
    beginswithanE beginswithanE 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    What did Adam say on the day

    before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 11

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    Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in

    big trouble. You have my Word.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 26

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    Word Play

    What do you call a sleeping relative ? A Napkin What do you get when you cross a dove and a high chair? A Stool Pigeon What do you get when you cross a dog with a daisy? A Collie-flower Name the largest stone A Milestone IF FEDEX an UPS were to merge, what might they be known as...
    yrral32 yrral32 61-65, M 3 Responses Jan 15, 2012

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 7, 2013

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 26

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    There was a prison break

    and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 5

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    I like bad puns. Examples: "I changed my

    iPod's name to Titantic. It's syncing now." "How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it." "Velcro, what a rip off!" "This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
    immieomg immieomg 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 23

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    I'm not very versed in writing songs,

    so I refrain from doing it.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 26

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    What The.......

    A hole has been found in a nudest camp wall,police are looking into it.......Two silk worms had a race,they ended up in a tie.....She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.....I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger ,then it hit me
    thezigzagman thezigzagman 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 6, 2012

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    WhatTheFrenchToast WhatTheFrenchToast 18-21, M Dec 16

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 17

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    Paddle Sale

    There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 25, 2013

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    A blind man walks into a bar.

    And a table. And a chair.
    Novemberman Novemberman 22-25, M Apr 10

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    “I'm reading a book about mazes,

    I got lost in it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Jun 27

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    “The divers had to be careful,

    the octopus was heavily armed.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 18

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Sep 8

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 12

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    Don't ask me about bridges!

    It's like the spannish inquisition.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 15

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    I'm a sucker for guys

    who say "lame" jokes.
    Realitea Realitea 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Lindsy18 Lindsy18 13-15, F Nov 4

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    The Baker

    A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    True story: Foreign guy inboxes me with a list

    of demands to be his submissive. I turn him down gently, letting him know the language barrier was the height of just-too-muchery and that I was "a subtext kinda girl." He then demanded my phone number so I could submit to him via text.
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 11

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    When I saw the depressed mathematician,

    I asked “What sum adder with you?”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Nov 7

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    “Murder with knives is very messy,

    and I suggest not taking a stab at it.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 15

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    Italy just announced a carbin' tax.

    It was pasta by very wide majority.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 4

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    I Like Bad Puns

    1) Atheism is a non prophet organization. 2) No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery 3) Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like bananas. 4) A backward poet writes inverse. Next...
    retiredfather retiredfather 61-65, M 25 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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    If you howl at the moon,

    does it make you a swearwolf?
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 22

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 7

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    “I heard the new auto body shop

    that opened comes highly wreck-a-mended.”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 3

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    We’re ambitious about puns!

    We’ve got plans to corny the market.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 3

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