iPod's name to Titantic. It's syncing now."
"How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it."
"Velcro, what a rip off!"
"This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
sisters room and tripped on a bra it was a booby trap
I heard two peanuts walked to the park one was assaulted
I'm reading a book on antigravity it's impossible to put down
its not that the guy couldn't juggle he just didn't a have the balls to do it
I tried to catch fog...
Minneapolis of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins...
This is our following conversation:
Sis: Come in the water with me
Me: No thanks, I'm good.
Sis: You're so boring. You never do anything.
Me: Dont be so salty
Sis: Dont start
Me: I don't undersand what the issue is
Sis: Seriously just stop
Me: How am I currently...
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New...
I told my friend I have to go to the gas station tomorrow because it's free coffee day, and I need to fill up. He was confused because he didn't think I had a car. I don't, I meant I was going to fill up on coffee. So I made a pun without even realizing it. I am sure that...