Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Like Dark Humor

For those who find humor in the darker things ... 5,837 People

    ok so here is a joke I've learned.

    Two women die and meet in heaven. The first one asks so how did you die? The second one replies "I froze to death." the second woman then asks the first " how did you die?" The first replies " I had a heart attack." The second woman asks " how did that happen?" The first one...
    ajrestless ajrestless 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    BadCatholic BadCatholic 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I want to die like my grandpa did,

    in his sleep. I don't want to die like the passengers screaming. P.s. If you don't get the joke the grandpa was driving...
    SymphonyChild SymphonyChild 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'M Going To Medical School....

    It was the easiest application in the world, they're not going to charge me tuition, I won't have to buy books, I'll get free housing, and they're going to take me to classes everyday. I won't have to lift a finger, take exams, or study at all! It's the best deal in the...
    yintaozenthin yintaozenthin 46-50, F Nov 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A friend was complaining about a baby on his

    bus this morning and he comes up to me and asks "how do you shut a baby up" I responded by telling him to hit it with a hammer. He sits there slack jawed and promptly leaves. God damn I love dark humour XD
    Niemadde Niemadde 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was a kid I have no idea what black

    comedy was, so when I went on the wikipedia. The first picture I saw was the 'Hopscotch to oblivion' and it still gets a chuckle out of me.
    nuwandaisaphony nuwandaisaphony 16-17, F Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Steve lies dying, as Jack,

    his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm...
    nostromo16 nostromo16 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What is red and is creeping up your leg?

    An abortion with homesickness.
    Hetaliainsanity Hetaliainsanity 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    DevilsDontFly DevilsDontFly 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It Is My Weakness.

    I don't really have a dark sense of humor it just there one thing that gets me every time. Dead baby jokes. I know I am a horrible person and I shouldn't laugh but the crap that people can come up with. I in no way ever want this to happen to a real child or my own children...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Sep 14, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    timmy loved blowing bubbles.

    bubbles was a man.
    TheDiamondMinecart TheDiamondMinecart 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What is the difference between Princess Diana

    and Princess Diana jokes? Princess Diana jokes get old.
    Longpatrol90 Longpatrol90 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    50shadesofexodus 50shadesofexodus 26-30, F May 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why isn't Alaska part of Canada?

    Because the wilderness isn't for queers (Sorry if this is offensive)
    nicofromrio nicofromrio 16-17, M 2 Responses Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "when I grow up I'm opening a baby back ribs

    stand in front of an abortion clinic and my motto is gonna be 'I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs'" - courtesy of my sister XD
    DevilsDontFly DevilsDontFly 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant?

    Because Ken came in a different box.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    what's white, Sharp and.

    sits in the corner.... a kid with a Razer blaze. what's red, white and sits in the corner... the same kid two weeks later
    Tylerb17 Tylerb17 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A sadist, necrophiliac,

    pyromaniac, zoophiliac, and a masochist were sitting in a jail cell together. The zoophiliac says, "I want to have sex with a cat." The sadist says, "I want to torture a cat then have sex with it." The pyromaniac says, "I wanna torture the cat, set it on fire, then have sex with...
    JnFrdriKler JnFrdriKler 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    2bz2cu 2bz2cu 56-60, M Jun 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Me: Man, that girl is young enough to be my

    daughter! My Friend: But the important thing to remember is that she is NOT your daughter... Me: Well played sir.
    3Dogmatic 3Dogmatic 36-40, M 3 Responses Apr 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Pretty sure an anti-joke classes

    as dark humour: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.
    Stillnotbroken Stillnotbroken 18-21, F Sep 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What do you call a five year old with no

    friends? A sandy hook survivor.
    SarahLMadison SarahLMadison 18-21, F 5 Responses May 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dark Humor Is Often Misunderstood

    Many people find the notion of even considering telling a joke about a horrific tragedy incredibly offensive. They believe there is no justification for finding humor in jokes about Aids, famine, mass-murder, rape, racism...and perhaps they are sometimes right. But of course...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The BadCatholic's Last Rites Communication

    Network- "Someone better be dying!" <(officially the greatest motto. Ever.)
    BadCatholic BadCatholic 13-15, F Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Mime Is a Terrible Thing to Waste

    A stunned world mourns the passing of its favorite, and most famous, mime - French entertainer Marcel Marceau.  Marceau developed his silent comedic style after watching the films of Charlie Chaplin.  Those who are interested in details of the funeral should note the...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 6 Responses Sep 23, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How many morbid jokes does it take to screw in

    a lightbulb? Not as many as there are dead puppies in the world
    Firestorm7375 Firestorm7375 16-17, F Apr 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

    ..............The wheelchair. Haa? HAAA? Get it?
    FullMetalPanic FullMetalPanic 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally

    bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking out...
    Jzzmine Jzzmine 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dark Cartoons.

    www.explosm.net it's a pretty good site with lots of dark cartoons.
    lazyker lazyker 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 28, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I can't stand pedophiles.

    ******* immature ******** !
    ShesSimplyKenny ShesSimplyKenny 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I laugh at things that are "messed up"

    and have a somewhat morbid sense of humor. I also find things that are just plain strange amusing.
    allshadesofgrey allshadesofgrey 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So maybe Elizabeth Bathory had it

    right: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/d-brief/2015/05/20/young-blood-heals-aging-broken-bones/
    50shadesofexodus 50shadesofexodus 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My friend and I watched Maze Runner in the

    theaters with another group of friends. Now Maze Runner is supposed to be funny. But dear god, when a character died at the end of the movie. Me and my friend just laughed (quietly of course because everyone else was sniffling during that scene) and me and my friend still can't...
    nuwandaisaphony nuwandaisaphony 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This is really dark but not

    as bad as some jokes I've heard: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them
    Emenem123 Emenem123 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Im the kind to prank call.

    .. Especially with one of my friends... When we were like, only 8, we called someone named Patrick and we were yelling WERE SPONGEBOB AND SQUIDWARD... "Patrick" said: "and I'm the one living under a rock eating sand?"
    Nataliebeans1 Nataliebeans1 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dark humor is like food,

    not everybody gets it.
    rhythmix rhythmix 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What has four legs and one arm?

    A pitbull in a playground.
    Niemadde Niemadde 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bad Enough

    It was bad enough that you had to make me drink that glass of diarrhea at gun point, but you just had to make me laugh so that I would blow it all out my nose.
    CopperCoil CopperCoil 36-40, M 5 Responses May 18, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Crazy Coworker # 2

    This is the same coworker mentioned in my first post, Well he was telling us about how he and his ex wife would go to couple retreats, and every year they would have a creative theme for the weekend. He told us how one year it was a highschool theme and couple would wear old...
    siggy10 siggy10 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 11, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "He gained pleasure from receiving

    or inflicting pain. He felt alone until the election results revealed 36.9% of voters felt the same way." 50shadesofTory (twitter account making fun of right wing ideologies.) https://twitter.com/50ShadesOfTory https://twitter.com/UkipWeather
    50shadesofexodus 50shadesofexodus 26-30, F 1 Response May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cat: meow! Mom: I wonder what's wrong with him!

    He's been meowing all day. Sister: Maybe we need to take him to a doctor. Me: I can recommend Dr. 9mm
    C9Poke C9Poke 16-17, M Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose

    dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
    Jzzmine Jzzmine 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Life's a bowl of cherries

    and this is the pits"
    Dwari Dwari 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Ladies and Gentlemen!

    You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man. Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity's...
    Dwari Dwari 22-25, M May 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I don't know where this began And I'm here facing the mirror Thinking I'd be living off the fat of the land I'm dying while alive, Living while dead The sheer agony is what I'm...
    CaptainMurphy CaptainMurphy 22-25, M 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have a rude sense of humor, which completely contradicts peoples' initial impression of me.
    eminemlover123 eminemlover123 13-15, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel