I've been writing this, please don't steal it :(
but tell me what you think! :D
I have bad grammar too.
I was an only child until October 19, 2000 then my mom had twins...
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning," said the young man. "If I could...
There was a man named Cletus that lived in a small town with only one traffic light. Cletus had saved up his money and bought a mo-ped. One day Cletus was at the light waiting for...
"A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it."
(One of my penpals shared this with me this morning. Too funny)
It's been scientifically proven women like reading things than taking pics. I only want long, dirty stories. Nothing short. Any topic is fine. So message me your story or leave it...
Besides gaming and martial arts, I also like using my imagination to write stories.
I actually want to combine that with gaming to pursue my career in the future.
I like reading fanfictons that have it in it, nomaly I don't read naughty stories but if it has naughty stuff in it I'm ok with it as long as it has a good story
YES! literotica is a really good site for that too... if u have any male sex/erotic stories i wanna see them. leave em in the comments or inbox me
Daughter: Mommy, what's it like to have the most awesome daughter in the world?
Mother: I don't know. Ask your grandmother.
she get pen to write a story that always trying to get out from her head.but she can't write it because of the noise.she start to think slowly.she is hearing an unfair argument.she...
I came to EP already with an interest in other people's sexual experiences. I enjoy this forum - in finding out what other people do and think.
I read of many things I would...
I like guys from 18-30 (; I love it when guys grab my *** and hips and kiss my neck and stomach (; I'm hooked then.
I was at taco bueno and the song "that's what makes you beautiful" came on and some random girl started mouthing the words and pointing at me and kept staring at me after that...
Damn Parking Enforcement
I went to the shop the other day. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there was a damn traffic officer writing a parking ticket...
A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman stands up : "You're making' out we're all dumb and stupid. I oughtta punch you in the nose." "I'm sorry sir...
When the waitress says "enjoy your food" and you reply "you too".
Social Anxiety folks lol. Gotta love it.
I just met somebody even more sarcastic and cynical than myself. How do I handle this? Lol I feel overpowered and at a constant odd on this situation.
Weird picture my sister emailed me
Im always horny in the morning and wAnt to cumm please inbox me a naughty story ;)
Kung Fu :D I had a good laugh!
It was all romantic, until..... (Photo attached) lmao
I almost died reading this!!
My back hurts now.. Is that even possible??
Yass!! This should be in the book of important facts! Who agrees?
Omg! I almost died laughing!
I'm horny pls send me some
I can write one if you want. Just give me what you want it to be about and i will try my best
:D This one made me laugh, it's not really a photo, more of a FACT
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies...
"***** please, go **** yourself with a cactus"
Facebook has me dying sometimes lol
She ran not wanting to look back but after a while her curiosity got the better of her and she could see him right behind her with his knife in hand ready to attack. She had to...
Titanic was the first ALS Ice Bucket Challenger ever.
Soooooo cute yet
So sad :,(
Baby cake! Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love — a wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable malfunction of the heart, which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the...
My older sister gives nicknames to everyone but funniest once is my dad's she calls him 'wrinkled butt'. Because my dad has a wrinkles on his face :p
If they dont attack the decent.