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I Like Good Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 29 People

    A Bad Pastor

     A pastor was praying for a man possessed with a demon, He says.... In the name of Jesus say what you want this man & come out of him!! the demon answer, 'I want him to win the America lotto draw worth $400 billion tonight' The pastor lower the microphone and whispers, In Jesus...
    Opiah1 Opiah1 18-21, M Jun 20, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 2

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    So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is that...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 7

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    Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day? A: Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 11

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    Q: Why don't cows have any money? A: Because farmers milk them dry. Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks" Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: "Well isn't that what M...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 26-30, F Jun 25

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    I could honestly say you've been on my mind Since I woke up today I look at your photograph all the time These memories come back to life And I don't mind I remember when we...
    jeannetjayy jeannetjayy 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me < 3
    lottie1996 lottie1996 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Don't ever say goodbye , that means bye for forever . Say cya later so the other person knows your not leaving
    alyssabay alyssabay 13-15, F 6 days ago

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    The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.
    ConcealedWildheart ConcealedWildheart 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I like watching crime scene investigation versions and bones when I'm doing ironing at the weekend
    LeahNl LeahNl 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    My friend got fired from his job selling home security systems. If no one was home, he would leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
    Ludwigdrummerboy Ludwigdrummerboy 61-65, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 3

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    When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 6

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    A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I juggle them in my act." "Oh, yeah? Says the...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 8

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    Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven...
    run23456 run23456 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 10

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    There was a show opening up for the elephant man, my girlfriend went over to see and they thought she was making a guest appearance.
    DatRandomGinger DatRandomGinger 16-17, M 6 days ago

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    When I awoke this morning, the air was soft and still. A little robin came and sat upon my window sill. He tipped his head and looked at me, with eyes so bright and clear...
    Byron8by7 Byron8by7 46-50, M 3 days ago

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    A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    A mother carefully explained to her young daughter how children were created. She used the expression “carrying a child” instead of “pregnant,” but the girl seemed...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 14

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    Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 14

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    A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 15

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    This is something I'd totally do. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2us9iBZ-tQ&list=UUnOVVuoLJ_1YY8A0V802wHA&index=69
    Guuuu Guuuu 18-21, M Jul 7

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    One day I'm going to have to hack into the Pentagon . Jk...
    Living2Heights Living2Heights 13-15, F Jul 11

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    Blonde Sunday Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday? A: Because the sun was out.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    **** gays, lesbians, transgenders, pansexuals, bi's, and heterosexuals...**** everybody lol
    georgefootball123 georgefootball123 16-17, M 5 days ago

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    The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first. 😃😄👍
    lemongrass09 lemongrass09 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 28

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    Great show!! Does anyone know if this show would be in hulu or Netflix ? It would be DYNO -MITE!!! If someone could tell me. Thanks :)
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F Jul 3

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    Tonight I bleed myself dry. I bleed myself dry. I bleed myself dry. And nothing I could ever write, would help you understand this life There's so much beauty when your eyes lay...
    scarredbutrelentless scarredbutrelentless 18-21, M Jul 7

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    I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine...
    nailwire nailwire 16-17, F Jul 7

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    I don't need no arms around me I don't need no drugs to calm me I have seen the writing on the wall Don't think I need anything at all No don't think I'll need anything at all...
    blackmountainside blackmountainside 13-15, F Jul 8

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    "If you don't know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take" - Alice in Wonderland
    RCardos RCardos 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 8

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    Ship is always safe at shore but that is not what it's built for
    nevergiveup99 nevergiveup99 16-17, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    And life's just all a game, And we're here to play. But surely and slowly, I think that this flame has burned out. And I've seen what life does. Don't remind us That we can't...
    scarredbutrelentless scarredbutrelentless 18-21, M Jul 15

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    They can bite too hard. Or never come from jerks. Or require we lie about liking jerks. They really bite too hard.
    converted converted 46-50, M 6 days ago

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    Life is a walk to remember. Our tomorrows are determined by the steps we take each day. Every sunset gives us one day less to live but every sunrise gives us one day more to hope...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I watched one tree hill, prison break, now I'm watching Lincoln heights
    hennyforyourthoughts hennyforyourthoughts 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    East Bound and Down hands down is the funniest show I have watched in a long time. Just bought all 3 seasons
    LoudProudCountry LoudProudCountry 22-25, M 9 hrs ago

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    Once upon a time I was on whisper ( an app that let's you tell secrets with out people knowing who you are)and I was looking up posts about suicide .One was of a girl/boy who was...
    rachelmu22 rachelmu22 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Good books, like good friends, are few and chosen; the more select, the more enjoyable. Louisa May Alcott
    Katanakat Katanakat 46-50, M Jul 15

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    I struggle with Depression and even tho I do. I still enjoy giving back and helping other's it makes me feel good like im doing something to know that I can put a smile peoples...
    mina3949 mina3949 16-17, F 1 hr ago

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    I consider myself a lover of music and this leads to an element of snobbery on my part, although others are just as guilty as I. As with many aspects of my life, I don't like the...
    ForeverInDarkness22 ForeverInDarkness22 22-25, M 1 hr ago

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    Q: What's the problem with lawyer jokes? A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A: At the city morgue...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    Everybody is so so much closer than me...when my friends and I meet new people they always relate to them better and they always hangout with them, not me. The people who I thought...
    Mikesmithg1 Mikesmithg1 16-17, M 4 hrs ago

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    Well here's 20 songs that I loveeee :) 1. Or nah - The weeknd 2. I'm ready - AJR 3. Can we dance? - the vamps 4. Why'd you only call me when you're high - Arctic Monkeys 5...
    xxooxx1986 xxooxx1986 18-21, F 2 hrs ago

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    My sophomore year in high school started like any other school year. you go to your new classes, you figure out the teacher, you learn the faces of the class, and you try to fit in...
    ThunderST0RM1N ThunderST0RM1N 18-21, M Jul 13

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    Yep. The group has the main gist of what I have to say. But it's not incredibly accurate. It's not that I don't like her.. I used to, but my opinion of her is rapidly changing. She...
    IntenseCookie IntenseCookie 16-17, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    My brother was murdered 14 years ago. I couldn't save him and I didn't get to say goodbye. I've never been the same since.
    IFeelFictional IFeelFictional 31-35, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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