Is it silly to expect others to just talk about themselves?.
Maybe it is a little self-centered to just talk about yourself, without being asked much?.
I kinda like when people do...
My grandpa got a new hearing aid.... I asked him "what kind is it?" He said "ten thirty"
Nowadays, i dont know whats wrong with me!!.. i feel like i am getting boobs (breasts) .. every 3 days it getting bigger and bigger.. but I AM A MAN.. WHY IS THAT HAPPENING??!.. i...
English Vs Inglish. Can any one say the difference between 'Complete'and 'Finished'? No dictionary has...
I used to have a parrot that could talk. He was an amazing animal that used to make me laugh and at times it was almost like having a friend around. It's a tragedy that he never...
"I'm tired, but I can't sleep..."
Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
Then died of electric shock.
I'm a high school teacher, I always try to find a way to make my students laugh while learning.
If any on finds a bag of marbles can you please return them to Chloe she lost her marbles a couple off years ago
Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?
My bff had a bout of hypochondriasis again! The same of old fear, the same trend of thought...
Bff: I'd like to live very long. What should I do?
Me: That's a wise...
Decided to start a "if I had a dollar for every time someone told me I looked like" jar. I'm at $5.
Excuse me? Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now. YOU...
Autocorrect can kick my ask.
Starting my medic shift so heres a clinical joke ( its a bit **** )
A pirate goes to the clinic worried that the moles on his back may be cancer.
" its ok" says the Dr " there...
My to do list:
1) go to pet shop
2) buy bird seed
3) ask the bloke in the shop how long it takes to grow bird
4) observe their expression
So I heard this today from my friend. I just thought it was kinda funny.
Why do girls hang out together in odd numbers?
Because they can't even!
I'm more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles
you need not be an entertainer. you just need to have a good heart and always do make someone happy when he is depressed or in pain. you won't earn money but you will feel happy...
The Met office has issued a weather warning. They've said the weather is not to do that again or there will be trouble.
A mutual friend invited us (bff and me) to lunch. Her son graduated from college, and she wanted to celebrate with us exclusive. It followed the conversation led to graduations...
I was trying to be celibate but I ended up salivating when I saw her.
I work sarcasm into my daily life one way or another
Grandpa thinks boobs are the three stooges ha
We have to give Grandpa Viagra to keep him from rolling out of bed!
i just told someone 'your worse then those stringy things in bananas'
The guest to the londiner.
- Call me a taxi please!
- Ok. Hello taxi, how are you?
Grandpa thinks innuendo Is a French word for preparation H
I met a jockey who told me that he weights 115lbs soaking wet.....I told him that's what you get for standing under your horse!
I had ringing in the ear.....went to the doctor...he found a bell in my ear :-/
They found a spot on my lungs....thank God it turned to be a mustard spot
If I want to smile I will. I feel like when people tell you to smile what they are really saying is fake it. I find it condescending, and I feel a genuine smile is a treasure and...
In essence this is a major component of my work day.
I'm a community services worker for people who have disabilities such as Down Syndrome, Epilepsy, Autism, FASD and so on...
People who tell you to smile are the worst. Like, if you care, make me smile, otherwise go step on a lego.
It is hilarious to me when people laugh at their own jokes. Especially when they think it's actually funny.
My dad used to laugh at his own jokes, but it was just the best thing...
I hate it when people tell me to smile because when I smile my dimples show
I fake smile most of the time and when I don't it's because I just don't have the strength to even pretend to be happy anymore. It annoys me than when people tell me to smile.
I love to make people laugh and I give out compliments gallore
I enjoy an intelligent person but without kindness, sensitivity, and respect there is no relationship worth having. I have found that a lot of people who consider themselves book...
i like making people happy. and i don't know why i cant make myself happy.
I enjoy knowing I can make someone laugh or smile when they are having a bad day.
Whenever I can, I'll reply to comments (Wattpad) with something funny. I love getting replies that say 'You just made my day' because I made someone happy without really trying and...