company this weekend. I don't know why, because we had a falling out over a year ago. But I'm still his emergency contact, and his security system was going wonky (power cut, low battery, set off and then reset).
The security company couldn't reach my friend, and nor could I...
Don't Lie To Your Mother
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious...
rather awkward and uncomfortable medical testing procedure. The woman who was performing the test, reluctantly asked me to put my feet in the stirrups and scoot my bottom to the end of the table. She apologized profusely, saying she knew that this was not pleasant. I laughed...
for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger.
I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...
and these two girls were siting in the back and thay were cutie *** hell so me being me I try evry thing I can to make Em laugh so I yell out random **** while the teach is tryna teach I'll be like DO A BARRLE ROLL! You know from star fox and the next thing I know it I get...
bed with a pig under one arm, a one legged duck under the other, and a monkey stuck to the closet door knob by his butt hole when she walked in... All I could was " Honey, its not what you think. I really do like the monkey "
Violets are blue,
Monkeys like YOU,
belong to the zoo.
But don't be afraid,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
but laughing at you.
I'm only joking.
I'm just bored,
I just wanted to
Say HELLO to YOU! :D
So enjoy this poem,
That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
the Internet that I'm really a man. Lol
My mom was rushing through setting up my account for my driving course online. She printed out the papers and I flipped through them. She selected Male as my gender and I can't go back and change it XD. Lmao Oh my gosh. It's going to be...
He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
and lock it,,, put your dog in another room and lock it,,,,
open both room after 3 hours, and see who is happy to see you,,, and who will bite you:)) haha.
people are advised not to try this at home,,, these stunts are performed by professionals,,, who are now divorced and...
even if it's at my own expense such as relating the tale of when a squirrel crawled up my pant leg.
Sometimes I feel like I should have been a clown like my father, but those would have been some huge shoes to fill.