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I Like Making People Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 73,146 People

    Gordon Ramsey Joke!! Gordon Ramsey: There is

    so much oil on this plate, the US want to invade it. HUhhh
    Guanabana Guanabana 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 31, 2014

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    NASA sends probes to Mars,

    Obamacare sends probes to Uranus (with live Facebook feed).
    Sweatsox Sweatsox 56-60, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    Hear about the Blonde couple

    that got married. They waited for 3 weeks for their sexual relations to show up in their honey moon
    avachat avachat 51-55, M 1 day ago

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    -Why did the plant cell go to the dentist?

    To get a chloro-filling -What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium -Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO I'm such a nerd LOL XD
    Petepot Petepot 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 29

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    Laughing so hard, no noise come out,

    so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 29

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    avachat avachat 51-55, M 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

    A: A gummy bear.!!!!! ^_^
    Guanabana Guanabana 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    blazingxhail blazingxhail 13-15, M Apr 16

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    Never get jealous when you see your ex with

    someone else because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunates.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    When someone says, "expect the unexpected.

    " Slap them and say: "You didn't expect that did you?"
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 10

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    Maths questions are so stupid.

    They're like : "If I had 10 chocolates and I ate 9, what do I have now?" "Oh, I don't know, diabetes maybe?"
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    No, no, I can't take this.

    ..I won't answer the messages. After the infamous comic posts when I couldn't put myself to sleep, the inbox has been filled with messages asking if I still have trouble sleeping...You want me not to sleep?..... No, no, I won't stay awake until wee hours in the morning again. I...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F Apr 16

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    This is so funny and cute

    that had to share it with you. Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
    SmartSweet1 SmartSweet1 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 19

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    I DON'T OWN THIS ONE BUT I WANT TO SHARE IT

    WITH YOU: Don't Lie To Your Mother John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious...
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 5

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    Accidental sex. She made it sound like I fell

    down, and there just happened to be a ***** in the way.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 19 Responses Apr 1

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    Makes my day. Releases endorfins,

    and makes my friends at eze
    pettypet pettypet 46-50, M 2 Responses Apr 19

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    alejandragucci alejandragucci 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 26

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    I'm going to stand outside.

    . If anyone asks, tell them i'm outstanding.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 6 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    WITTY My bff showed me the ugliest,

    most disgusting, sexiest cut, freshest colored swimming trunks I've ever seen. It looks like almost a thong! Me: I really don't think you ought to wear that swimming trunks, C. Bff: But, dear, I have to; you know how strict they are at the beaches. **><*** (Si i i it!)
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Son: Dad, I'm hungry.

    Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad. Son: I'm serious! Dad: No, you are Hungry! Son: ...You are joking... Dad: No, I'm Dad :D
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 29

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    When asked how he would like to die,

    one man said: "I would like to die like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in the car he was driving."
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 30

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    There are 72,122 people in this group,

    but only a few write stuff about making people laugh. So......... I am running around this Big Big group with my pillow and I am hitting everyone here. lol then I think I'm gonna hide REAL good!!!!!
    btiny13 btiny13 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    Ever watched a foreign movie

    and wished you understood it better. Actually, if you listen close enough, it's actually "Ingrish" http://youtu.be/MvJhCnB_6rE Disclaimer: This is not intended to discriminate. We all have different accents. My nose was bleeding!
    koh72 koh72 41-45, M 6 days ago

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    does anyone else have the problem of never

    being able to find something decent to watch on netflix?! I spend about an hour trying to find a film and then end up not watching anything...
    westiegirl8998 westiegirl8998 22-25, F 23 Responses Jan 24

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    Don't think of yourself

    as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    I was in Home Depot and heard alarms going off,

    they asked me to step away from the Stud Finders.
    Sweatsox Sweatsox 56-60, M 4 days ago

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    i need someone who make me laugh right now.

    i'm not good at communicate with typing. skype anyone? PM me.
    Juri0902 Juri0902 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 14

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    I just checked on my son.

    This is the greeting on his answering machine. "Hi, this is C. If you are someone from the phone company, I've already sent the money. If it's you mom, please send money. If it's my financial institution, you don't lend me enough money. If you're a friend, you owe me money. If...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 12 Responses Mar 14

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    Boy: Our principal is

    so stupid. Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No. Girl: I'm the principal's daughter. Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No. Boy: Good. *Walks away*
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    just for you^_^ A man was praying to god.

    He said, "God?" God responded, "Yes?" And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?" "Go right ahead", God said. "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "A million years to me is only a second." The man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth...
    hoseinbiglari hoseinbiglari 22-25, M 5 Responses Apr 16

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    I've always wanted to walk up to a stranger

    and hand him a briefcase and whisper: " You know what to do," and walk away.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 30

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    Fantastic news for some women.

    One of the side effects of Viagra is abnormal vision, which means they no longer have to sit in a bar until 2:30 in the morning.
    Sweatsox Sweatsox 56-60, M 1 Response 23 hrs ago

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    Let's eat Grandpa! Let's eat,

    Grandpa! Correct punctuation can save lives!
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 30

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    yesterday i felt sick.

    so i was gone at hispital.there where i was waited for doctor at check up queue.when i reached at checked up room someone patient said to doctor that Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor...
    searchnew searchnew 18-21, M 4 Responses Apr 15

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    P1: "I like Eminem" P2: "I like skittles

    better" P1: "No, the rapper you idiot.." P2: "You're the idiot, what's so good about a M&M wrapper..?"
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 9, 2014

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    "Some people are like the Slinky.

    They don't really serve a purpose but it still makes you smile when you push them down the stairs."
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 3 days ago

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    Man: *screaming at the TV* DON'T DO IT!

    DON'T DO IT!!! Wife: Honey, what are you watching? Man: *sobbing* Our wedding. Wife: -_-
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 29

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    Sweatsox Sweatsox 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    A man put his penis in the exhaust of his car

    and ends up with a hot rod.
    avachat avachat 51-55, M 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I don’t think I could ever really complete

    anyone. But driving someone insane is doable.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 5 Responses Apr 18

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    A friend set me up on a blind date.

    He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
    daraglanzer daraglanzer 36-40, F 11 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    I went to Home Depot

    and bought some Miracle-Gro, some fertilizer and found a great ceiling fan on the clearance cart. I paid for the items, took them out and put the ceiling fan in the back of the truck, bent over and picked up the fertilizer, it was heavier then I thought, so I heaved it in the...
    Sweatsox Sweatsox 56-60, M 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    Sweatsox Sweatsox 56-60, M 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Dear READERS, Roses are red,

    Violets are blue, Monkeys like YOU, belong to the zoo. But don't be afraid, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at you. I'm only joking. I'm just bored, I just wanted to Say HELLO to YOU! :D So enjoy this poem, That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 9 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Husband: Woman, make me a hamburger!

    Wife: Okay.....Abrakadabra! Abrakadabra! Kapowww! :)) You are now a hamburger!... 2:19am...I can't sleep...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 7 Responses Apr 11

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