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I Like Making People Laugh

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    Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank?

    A: Shoot the people pushing it.
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M 4 days ago

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    Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

    A: Look for the fresh prints.
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    part I,,,,,,,,, put your wife in a room

    and lock it,,, put your dog in another room and lock it,,,, open both room after 3 hours, and see who is happy to see you,,, and who will bite you:)) haha. people are advised not to try this at home,,, these stunts are performed by professionals,,, who are now divorced and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Jun 10

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    A husband and wife are trying to set up a new

    password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M Aug 14

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    JessM50 JessM50 18-21, F 4 Responses May 17

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    I had trouble sleeping last night

    because the animals I kept using to count with were endangered species and I would run out. I should have just stuck with sheep.
    RememberTomorrow RememberTomorrow 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 20

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    This is so funny and cute

    that had to share it with you. Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
    SmartSweet1 SmartSweet1 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 19

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    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Do you know why a previous relationship is

    called EX? It's not the term for the past. EX is short for EXPIRED. Kidding :D
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 9 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    Maths questions are so stupid.

    They're like : "If I had 10 chocolates and I ate 9, what do I have now?" "Oh, I don't know, diabetes maybe?"
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    Ok so...why isn't poker played in the jungle?

    ! Because there be too many cheetahhsss!!! You get it?! Cheetahs like cheaters...yep โ€ข_โ€ข that's my sense of humor...I have more jokes, just got em lined up!
    Kbrabbit Kbrabbit 18-21, F 24 Responses 5 days ago

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    Ok so this is joke 3,

    again feel free to facepalm yourself, or tend to break pencils from my ridiculous jokes.. Whatcha call a gator in a vest? An investigator! Cuz he's a IN a VEST and he's a GATOR! Yep, comment what you think, y'all can post some jokes there too, imma read em and imma laugh that...
    Kbrabbit Kbrabbit 18-21, F 12 Responses 4 days ago

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    When I make people laugh,

    it makes me happy and it makes me love them even more.
    JustinMP JustinMP 13-15, M 22 hrs ago

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    The Court Jester plays the fool

    for laughs, but is smarter than you think. They command attention with their cheeky sarcasm or dry wit, and gauge people's reactions - picking up intuitively on where they stand and how far the Jester can go.Sadly the jokes and facade hide insecurities - and the Jester can make...
    SvveetKiester SvveetKiester 41-45, F 7 Responses Aug 16

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    The teacher asked Jimmy,

    "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M Aug 14

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    Laughing so hard, no noise come out,

    so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 29

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    English Vs Inglish.

    Can any one say the difference between 'Complete'and 'Finished'? No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' However,in a...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 14 Responses May 23

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    Starting my medic shift

    so heres a clinical joke ( its a bit **** ) A pirate goes to the clinic worried that the moles on his back may be cancer. " its ok" says the Dr " there benign" "Count em again Dr" says the pirate " i reckon there be 10 at least !
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 12

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    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M 4 days ago

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    A friend set me up on a blind date.

    He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
    daraglanzer daraglanzer 36-40, F 11 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    Dear READERS, Roses are red,

    Violets are blue, Monkeys like YOU, belong to the zoo. But don't be afraid, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at you. I'm only joking. I'm just bored, I just wanted to Say HELLO to YOU! :D So enjoy this poem, That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Guy comes home from work

    and go upstairs to his bedroom, sees his wife sleeping with the window wide open, he knows that window is never open. He goes over and looks out the window and sees a guy walking in the alley, he freaks out and goes over and picks up this huge dresser and throws it out the...
    tony70 tony70 41-45, M 7 Responses Jul 14

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    Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?

    A: Because they are shellfish.
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M Aug 18

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    A husband and wife are trying to set up a new

    password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 6

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    Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?

    " Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M Aug 14

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    A teacher is teaching a class

    and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two...
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M Aug 15

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    Man: *screaming at the TV* DON'T DO IT!

    DON'T DO IT!!! Wife: Honey, what are you watching? Man: *sobbing* Our wedding. Wife: -_-
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 12 Responses Jan 29

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    Looking at my profile you'd be forgiven

    for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger. I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 23 Responses Apr 4

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    I've always wanted to walk up to a stranger

    and hand him a briefcase and whisper: " You know what to do," and walk away.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 30

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    Found this on Google: I'm gonna order a pizza

    5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive i'll say,"I order this da** pizza a year ago!" LOL AGAIN HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE :D :D
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 10 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her

    last Christmas and it's still printing.
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    Hehe this is Joke no.

    2, please feel free to facepalm if this joke is really bad but I like it so yep! What do you call the ambulance for lemons? ๐Ÿ˜ The Lemon-Aid!!!! ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹ You get it? Lemon-aid and lemonade...hehehe๐Ÿ˜‹
    Kbrabbit Kbrabbit 18-21, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    Two men were talking.

    "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.โ€
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 15

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    Boy: Our principal is

    so stupid. Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No. Girl: I'm the principal's daughter. Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No. Boy: Good. *Walks away*
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    What did the ghost say to the bee?

    Boo bee ... (boobie)
    frikkenhoudini frikkenhoudini 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    A mother is in the kitchen making dinner

    for her family when her daughter walks in. โ€œMother, where do babies come from?โ€ The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, โ€œWell dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.โ€ The daughter...
    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M Aug 18

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    Let's eat Grandpa! Let's eat,

    Grandpa! Correct punctuation can save lives!
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 30

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    When someone says, "expect the unexpected.

    " Slap them and say: "You didn't expect that did you?"
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 10

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    My to do list: 1) go to pet shop 2) buy bird

    seed 3) ask the bloke in the shop how long it takes to grow bird 4) observe their expression
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses May 12

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    stampoutbullying stampoutbullying 22-25, M 4 days ago

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    HippieGuyInATie78 HippieGuyInATie78 36-40, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?

    " Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 6

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    A child asked his father,

    "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 6

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    virtusethonor virtusethonor 31-35, M 4 days ago

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    Tonight I had to undergo a

    rather awkward and uncomfortable medical testing procedure. The woman who was performing the test, reluctantly asked me to put my feet in the stirrups and scoot my bottom to the end of the table. She apologized profusely, saying she knew that this was not pleasant. I laughed...
    badassgirrrl badassgirrrl 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 13

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    I do wonder why people laugh at some things I

    say. Many times I just blurt stuff out to break the silence.... lence....lence...*echos and atomic crickets* O.o
    RealmRunner RealmRunner 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 18

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