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I Like Making People Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 76,539 People

    A mutual friend invited us (bff

    and me) to lunch. Her son graduated from college, and she wanted to celebrate with us exclusive. It followed the conversation led to graduations. Mutual friend: I raised the pig...cut up for my son's graduation party. (We are in the country side so we live the simple life.) Me...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 4 Responses May 21

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    Of course I talk like an idiot.

    How else could you understand me?
    SpaceGlitch SpaceGlitch 16-17, F 3 Responses May 12

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    I can't take this LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

    anymore. FRIDGE, you're coming to my room.
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 6 Responses Dec 22, 2014

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    I met a jockey who told me

    that he weights 115lbs soaking wet.....I told him that's what you get for standing under your horse!
    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    JessM50 JessM50 18-21, F 4 Responses May 17

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    I had ringing in the ear.

    ....went to the doctor...he found a bell in my ear :-/
    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    i just told someone 'your worse then those

    stringy things in bananas'
    itsxeon itsxeon 18-21, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Her laugh is like medicine

    for my sick soul.
    15ShadesOfBlue 15ShadesOfBlue 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Decided to start a "if I had a dollar

    for every time someone told me I looked like" jar. I'm at $5.
    hospitalrooms hospitalrooms 31-35, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    A friend set me up on a blind date.

    He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
    daraglanzer daraglanzer 36-40, F 12 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    The guest to the londiner.

    - Call me a taxi please! - Ok. Hello taxi, how are you?
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M 5 days ago

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    radtechcrys radtechcrys 36-40, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    My to do list: 1) go to pet shop 2) buy bird

    seed 3) ask the bloke in the shop how long it takes to grow bird 4) observe their expression
    Jak6038 Jak6038 46-50, M 7 Responses May 12

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    -Why did the plant cell go to the dentist?

    To get a chloro-filling -What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium -Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO I'm such a nerd LOL XD
    Petepot Petepot 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 29

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    "I'm tired, but I can't sleep.

    .." Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun, Then died of electric shock. "I think, it's best to keep my thoughts to myself..." :)
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 3 Responses May 18

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    This is so funny and cute

    that had to share it with you. Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
    SmartSweet1 SmartSweet1 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 19

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    Maths questions are so stupid.

    They're like : "If I had 10 chocolates and I ate 9, what do I have now?" "Oh, I don't know, diabetes maybe?"
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    I was trying to be celibate

    but I ended up salivating when I saw her.
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 2 Responses May 21

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    Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little

    fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son. (3:43 am....I can't sleep...This is killing me!) ************** Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses, And all the king's men, Had scrambled eggs For...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 10 Responses Apr 14

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    I just checked on my son.

    This is the greeting on his answering machine. "Hi, this is C. If you are someone from the phone company, I've already sent the money. If it's you mom, please send money. If it's my financial institution, you don't lend me enough money. If you're a friend, you owe me money. If...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 11 Responses Mar 14

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    Looking at my profile you'd be forgiven

    for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger. I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Apr 4

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    P1: "I like Eminem" P2: "I like skittles

    better" P1: "No, the rapper you idiot.." P2: "You're the idiot, what's so good about a M&M wrapper..?"
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 9, 2014

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    An Eternity My bff had a bout of

    hypochondriasis again! The same of old fear, the same trend of thought... Bff: I'd like to live very long. What should I do? Me: That's a wise decision. You don't smoke, do you? Bff: Occasionally. Me: Starting now, stop smoking. Do you drink? Bff: Not much. Just a bit of wine...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 2 Responses May 18

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    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    When someone says, "expect the unexpected.

    " Slap them and say: "You didn't expect that did you?"
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 10

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    My grandpa got a new hearing aid.

    ... I asked him "what kind is it?" He said "ten thirty"
    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    Don't think of yourself

    as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 4 Responses May 4

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    Starting my medic shift

    so heres a clinical joke ( its a bit **** ) A pirate goes to the clinic worried that the moles on his back may be cancer. " its ok" says the Dr " there benign" "Count em again Dr" says the pirate " i reckon there be 10 at least !
    Jak6038 Jak6038 46-50, M 6 Responses May 12

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    you need not be an entertainer.

    you just need to have a good heart and always do make someone happy when he is depressed or in pain. you won't earn money but you will feel happy about it and enrich your happiness
    aaditjain aaditjain 18-21, M 1 Response May 17

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    The Met office has issued a weather warning.

    They've said the weather is not to do that again or there will be trouble.
    wilzyp wilzyp 22-25, M 3 Responses May 17

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    Excuse me? Are you looking at me?

    Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now. YOU'RE GETTING YOUR WISHES SO SIT DOWN!!! In case of emergency: The exit's right here, right here, right here, right here, right here...
    RebelCobra RebelCobra 18-21, M 2 Responses May 2

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    If any on finds a bag of marbles can you please

    return them to Chloe she lost her marbles a couple off years ago
    ChloeValintina ChloeValintina 26-30, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    Laughing so hard, no noise come out,

    so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 29

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    Let's eat Grandpa! Let's eat,

    Grandpa! Correct punctuation can save lives!
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 30

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    Man: *screaming at the TV* DON'T DO IT!

    DON'T DO IT!!! Wife: Honey, what are you watching? Man: *sobbing* Our wedding. Wife: -_-
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 29

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    Son: Dad, I'm hungry.

    Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad. Son: I'm serious! Dad: No, you are Hungry! Son: ...You are joking... Dad: No, I'm Dad :D
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 29

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    I DON'T OWN THIS ONE BUT I WANT TO SHARE IT

    WITH YOU: Don't Lie To Your Mother John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious...
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 7 Responses Jan 5

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    Nowadays, i dont know whats wrong with me!

    !.. i feel like i am getting boobs (breasts) .. every 3 days it getting bigger and bigger.. but I AM A MAN.. WHY IS THAT HAPPENING??!.. i am just living normal life without any weird thing.. may be fatty something i got or from soda. it really bother me when i am sleeping or...
    sshortyy sshortyy 18-21, M 2 Responses May 18

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    Boy: Our principal is

    so stupid. Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No. Girl: I'm the principal's daughter. Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No. Boy: Good. *Walks away*
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    I'm going to stand outside.

    . If anyone asks, tell them i'm outstanding.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 6 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me?

    Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me? I don't think so! Not right now! You're gettin' your wishes, so SIT DOWN!
    RebelCobra RebelCobra 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 30

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    Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

    A: A gummy bear.!!!!! ^_^
    Guanabana Guanabana 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    English Vs Inglish.

    Can any one say the difference between 'Complete'and 'Finished'? No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' However,in a...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 12 Responses May 23

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    Found this on Google: I'm gonna order a pizza

    5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive i'll say,"I order this da** pizza a year ago!" LOL AGAIN HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE :D :D
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 10 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    They found a spot on my lungs.

    ...thank God it turned to be a mustard spot