hypochondriasis again! The same of old fear, the same trend of thought...
Bff: I'd like to live very long. What should I do?
Me: That's a wise decision. You don't smoke, do you?
Me: Starting now, stop smoking. Do you drink?
Bff: Not much. Just a bit of wine...
that had to share it with you.
Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them, too, 'cause he was gay.
Simple Simon met a Pie Man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie...
Violets are blue,
Monkeys like YOU,
belong to the zoo.
But don't be afraid,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
but laughing at you.
I'm only joking.
I'm just bored,
I just wanted to
Say HELLO to YOU! :D
So enjoy this poem,
That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
!.. i feel like i am getting boobs (breasts) .. every 3 days it getting bigger and bigger.. but I AM A MAN.. WHY IS THAT HAPPENING??!.. i am just living normal life without any weird thing.. may be fatty something i got or from soda. it really bother me when i am sleeping or...
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
(3:43 am....I can't sleep...This is killing me!)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses,
And all the king's men,
Had scrambled eggs
If I happen to trip over nothing when you're having a bad day and it makes you smile, then that floor definitely tripped me! If you are ready to cry and a milkshake mustache will make you smile, lay it on me. I love my friends and would do anything for them. If only I had more...
and wished you understood it better. Actually, if you listen close enough, it's actually "Ingrish"
Disclaimer: This is not intended to discriminate. We all have different accents. My nose was bleeding!
He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now. YOU'RE GETTING YOUR WISHES SO SIT DOWN!!!
In case of emergency: The exit's right here, right here, right here, right here, right here...
most disgusting, sexiest cut, freshest colored swimming trunks I've ever seen. It looks like almost a thong!
Me: I really don't think you ought to wear that swimming trunks, C.
Bff: But, dear, I have to; you know how strict they are at the beaches.
**><*** (Si i i it!)
Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
Then died of electric shock.
"I think, it's best to keep my thoughts to myself..." :)
while potty training I took the boys to the restroom. they were all standing up trying to pee over the toilet bowl , when I came across little mason. he was straining for all he had in him! I asked him what was the matter. he exclaimed in frustration Ms.Teri, Mine don't work!! I...
so heres a clinical joke ( its a bit **** )
A pirate goes to the clinic worried that the moles on his back may be cancer.
" its ok" says the Dr " there benign"
"Count em again Dr" says the pirate " i reckon there be 10 at least !
for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger.
I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...
but smile right now. I keep thinking about this 5 yr old student in my class. He is has brittle bone, and completely deaf soon he wills be wheelchair bound.
But today was a good day for him; he had the entire class laughing because he was twerking for the teachers.