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I Like Making People Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 76,711 People

    radtechcrys radtechcrys 36-40, F 2 Responses May 25

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    Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me?

    Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me? I don't think so! Not right now! You're gettin' your wishes, so SIT DOWN!
    RebelCobra RebelCobra 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 30

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    The guest to the londiner.

    - Call me a taxi please! - Ok. Hello taxi, how are you?
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M a week ago

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    Dear READERS, Roses are red,

    Violets are blue, Monkeys like YOU, belong to the zoo. But don't be afraid, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at you. I'm only joking. I'm just bored, I just wanted to Say HELLO to YOU! :D So enjoy this poem, That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 9 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    I've always wanted to walk up to a stranger

    and hand him a briefcase and whisper: " You know what to do," and walk away.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 30

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    This is so funny and cute

    that had to share it with you. Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
    SmartSweet1 SmartSweet1 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 19

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    Do you know why a previous relationship is

    called EX? It's not the term for the past. EX is short for EXPIRED. Kidding :D
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 9 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    Her laugh is like medicine

    for my sick soul.
    15ShadesOfBlue 15ShadesOfBlue 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I just checked on my son.

    This is the greeting on his answering machine. "Hi, this is C. If you are someone from the phone company, I've already sent the money. If it's you mom, please send money. If it's my financial institution, you don't lend me enough money. If you're a friend, you owe me money. If...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 11 Responses Mar 14

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    Looking at my profile you'd be forgiven

    for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger. I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Apr 4

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    I'm going to stand outside.

    . If anyone asks, tell them i'm outstanding.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 6 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 4 Responses May 4

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    They found a spot on my lungs.

    ...thank God it turned to be a mustard spot
    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Man: *screaming at the TV* DON'T DO IT!

    DON'T DO IT!!! Wife: Honey, what are you watching? Man: *sobbing* Our wedding. Wife: -_-
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 29

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    I met a jockey who told me

    that he weights 115lbs soaking wet.....I told him that's what you get for standing under your horse!
    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Maths questions are so stupid.

    They're like : "If I had 10 chocolates and I ate 9, what do I have now?" "Oh, I don't know, diabetes maybe?"
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    When someone says, "expect the unexpected.

    " Slap them and say: "You didn't expect that did you?"
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 10

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    laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your

    life,,,, Shakespeare. laughing at your wife's mistake can shorten your life:)) Shakespeares wife.,,, ,,, haha hahaha
    mdbest4u mdbest4u 26-30, M 5 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    My grandpa got a new hearing aid.

    ... I asked him "what kind is it?" He said "ten thirty"
    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 9 Responses a week ago

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    An Eternity My bff had a bout of

    hypochondriasis again! The same of old fear, the same trend of thought... Bff: I'd like to live very long. What should I do? Me: That's a wise decision. You don't smoke, do you? Bff: Occasionally. Me: Starting now, stop smoking. Do you drink? Bff: Not much. Just a bit of wine...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 2 Responses May 18

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    Laughing so hard, no noise come out,

    so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 29

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    I can't take this LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

    anymore. FRIDGE, you're coming to my room.
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 6 Responses Dec 22, 2014

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    i just told someone 'your worse then those

    stringy things in bananas'
    itsxeon itsxeon 18-21, M 4 Responses a week ago

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    A mutual friend invited us (bff

    and me) to lunch. Her son graduated from college, and she wanted to celebrate with us exclusive. It followed the conversation led to graduations. Mutual friend: I raised the pig...cut up for my son's graduation party. (We are in the country side so we live the simple life.) Me...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 4 Responses May 21

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    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 4 Responses a week ago

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    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Starting my medic shift

    so heres a clinical joke ( its a bit **** ) A pirate goes to the clinic worried that the moles on his back may be cancer. " its ok" says the Dr " there benign" "Count em again Dr" says the pirate " i reckon there be 10 at least !
    Jak6038 Jak6038 46-50, M 6 Responses May 12

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    JessM50 JessM50 18-21, F 4 Responses May 17

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    Don't think of yourself

    as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    Working out every other day has become my daily

    routine and my hobby. Therefore I sure get laughs and a lot of a "wow" from people. So proud, haha.
    asp1999 asp1999 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Decided to start a "if I had a dollar

    for every time someone told me I looked like" jar. I'm at $5.
    hospitalrooms hospitalrooms 31-35, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 15 Responses Apr 1

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    I had ringing in the ear.

    ....went to the doctor...he found a bell in my ear :-/
    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    Of course I talk like an idiot.

    How else could you understand me?
    SpaceGlitch SpaceGlitch 16-17, F 3 Responses May 12

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    -Why did the plant cell go to the dentist?

    To get a chloro-filling -What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium -Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO I'm such a nerd LOL XD
    Petepot Petepot 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 29

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    If any on finds a bag of marbles can you please

    return them to Chloe she lost her marbles a couple off years ago
    ChloeValintina ChloeValintina 26-30, F 4 Responses May 25

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    Let's eat Grandpa! Let's eat,

    Grandpa! Correct punctuation can save lives!
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 30

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    English Vs Inglish.

    Can any one say the difference between 'Complete'and 'Finished'? No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' However,in a...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 12 Responses May 23

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    Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little

    fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son. (3:43 am....I can't sleep...This is killing me!) ************** Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses, And all the king's men, Had scrambled eggs For...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 10 Responses Apr 14

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    Found this on Google: I'm gonna order a pizza

    5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive i'll say,"I order this da** pizza a year ago!" LOL AGAIN HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE :D :D
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 10 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    My to do list: 1) go to pet shop 2) buy bird

    seed 3) ask the bloke in the shop how long it takes to grow bird 4) observe their expression
    Jak6038 Jak6038 46-50, M 7 Responses May 12

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    Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

    A: A gummy bear.!!!!! ^_^
    Guanabana Guanabana 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    So I heard this today from my friend.

    I just thought it was kinda funny. Why do girls hang out together in odd numbers? Because they can't even!
    SpaceGlitch SpaceGlitch 16-17, F 3 Responses May 13

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    A friend set me up on a blind date.

    He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
    daraglanzer daraglanzer 36-40, F 12 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    "I'm tired, but I can't sleep.

    .." Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun, Then died of electric shock. "I think, it's best to keep my thoughts to myself..." :)
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 3 Responses