that had to share it with you.
Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
You are reading this right now.
2.You are realizing this is a stupid fact.
4.You didn't noticed I skipped three.
5.You are checking now.
6.You are smiling.
7.You are still reading this even though it is stupid.
9.You didn't realize I skipped eight.
10.You are checking...
he was complaining of migraine headache. So I asked about this, this morning, when I checked on him.
Me: Did you have your eye refraction for a new pair of eyeglasses?
Him: Nope. (I thought he was busy; it's okay.)
Me: What about the pain reliever I left with you? Do the pills...
for scam artists some how at one point I was getting 2 calls a day. this how one day went...
"Hi I am James from US Grants Department Id like to inform you you have been selected to receive a $9,000 grant that you never have to pay back."
"Oh really how is that...
..to see Someone not just giggle but really open up and chuckle from their tummy. I love it.
I also love to laugh and am constantly doing so. laughing is good for the soul and can help keep you young at heart I believe.
This is the greeting on his answering machine.
"Hi, this is C. If you are someone from the phone company, I've already sent the money. If it's you mom, please send money. If it's my financial institution, you don't lend me enough money. If you're a friend, you owe me money. If...
Don't Lie To Your Mother
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious...
every Sunday morning. He surprised me again with the greeting on his answering machine.
"Welcome to C's hotline.
If you are obsessive/compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone else to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3...
for the train; Subway sandwiches on hand...
A stooped man carrying a heavy luggage caught my bff's attention. He was very wrinkled and missing some of his teeth. Very compassionate as he is, my bff approached the man. I knew he would give away his sandwich.
"What's your secret...
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
CAPT. JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion. We were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas to it.
To get a chloro-filling
-What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
-Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?
I'm such a nerd LOL XD
for a drive through some back roads. I would be the driver, him the navigator. As we passed one farm, he told me that farmers predict the weather by how the cows are positioned. Standing cows means good weather ahead, and cows lying down indicates rain. Then we came upon a group...
He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...