for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger.
I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...
that had to share it with you.
Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
Violets are blue,
Monkeys like YOU,
belong to the zoo.
But don't be afraid,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
but laughing at you.
I'm only joking.
I'm just bored,
I just wanted to
Say HELLO to YOU! :D
So enjoy this poem,
That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
Don't Lie To Your Mother
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious...
something or say something that makes another person laugh because it's just a wicked nice feeling you get. It's cool knowing you can brighten another's day even if just for a few seconds. I hate when people laugh though when something I do or say isn't suppose to be funny...
He said, "God?"
And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a
Then he asked, "God, what is a million
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
(3:43 am....I can't sleep...This is killing me!)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses,
And all the king's men,
Had scrambled eggs
There was a boy who lived in a 5 story house. he was coloring by an open window when suddenly he fell out. How does he fall out with not a single scratch?
A: he feel out of the first floor. O = window and the ---- = ground
..I won't answer the messages.
After the infamous comic posts when I couldn't put myself to sleep, the inbox has been filled with messages asking if I still have trouble sleeping...You want me not to sleep?.....
No, no, I won't stay awake until wee hours in the morning again. I...
He simply cannot stop pestering me with questions re. his health status.
Bff: I have a problem. I feel unhealthy...
Me: Again...Didn't we talk about your lab. tests only last week?
Bff: I really feel unhealthy and depressed!
Me: You should cut down on drinks...
This is the greeting on his answering machine.
"Hi, this is C. If you are someone from the phone company, I've already sent the money. If it's you mom, please send money. If it's my financial institution, you don't lend me enough money. If you're a friend, you owe me money. If...
He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
(little pig, little pig)
She kept it fat and plastered; (little pig)
And when the price of pork went up....
She shot the little bastard...
Mary had a little lamb, (..........little lamb)
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to...
To get a chloro-filling
-What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
-Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?
I'm such a nerd LOL XD
as an unapproachable person but once people get to know me better, they say I'm funny even though I don't intend to tell jokes. I guess I just have a quirky viewpoint that they find humorous. In any case, people should laugh a little bit more. It makes life more bearable.
My bff called up to report the results of his laboratory exams. Quarterly lab. exams!!! He's that hypochondriac.
Bff: Do you think I'll live another 30 years more?
Me: (feeling irritated) Do you have to call up this early?...Okay...how old are you now.
Me: Do you...