blanket off of you when you're asleep are ghosts tryina get us. They're just people who have a crush on you, sleep under your bed and try to get some god damn warmth. So next time you'll feel the blanket get pulled just yell GET YOUR OWN ******* BLANKET YA *****!!! Works. I...
"How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The...
last night. Yeah me! When asked, I was shocked that out of everyone to choose from. It was me. I accepted.
If you know me. My grandson and are alike, meaning you never know what you get. Anything can happen. My daughter cringe sometimes.
So there I was all cleaned up and...
Me: are you daugher of bin laden, coz you look like a bomb.!!
Girl: (smiles n blushes)
Me: (wow! Its working!), so what's your name?
Me: turn around run for my life (**** just got real.!)
Don't Lie To Your Mother
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious...
Violets are blue,
Monkeys like YOU,
belong to the zoo.
But don't be afraid,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
but laughing at you.
I'm only joking.
I'm just bored,
I just wanted to
Say HELLO to YOU! :D
So enjoy this poem,
That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
I always play one of his stand ups and laugh out loud. And when he tells the joke about black people walking with rhythm and white people walking still I really laugh but think to myself: Yea we may look like the Washington's monument when we walk. But have you seen a cracka...
and it started snowing again. Sounds like god's sence of humor raised from the dead while someone was thinking: "Yo I miss the winter and god said "AHAAAA!" Now pay attention on your wishes cuz some higher power has sass.
and lock it,,, put your dog in another room and lock it,,,,
open both room after 3 hours, and see who is happy to see you,,, and who will bite you:)) haha.
people are advised not to try this at home,,, these stunts are performed by professionals,,, who are now divorced and...
He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger.
I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...