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I Like Making People Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 76,192 People

    I can't take this LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

    anymore. FRIDGE, you're coming to my room.
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 6 Responses Dec 22, 2014

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    I DON'T OWN THIS ONE BUT I WANT TO SHARE IT

    WITH YOU: Don't Lie To Your Mother John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious...
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 5

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    Excuse me? Are you looking at me?

    Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me? I don't think so. Not right now. YOU'RE GETTING YOUR WISHES SO SIT DOWN!!! In case of emergency: The exit's right here, right here, right here, right here, right here...
    RebelCobra RebelCobra 18-21, M 2 Responses May 2

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    Here's a thought !!!!

    Wooohooo it counts to be fast at something's lmao :P
    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 29

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    Excuse me? Are you lookin' at me?

    Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? did you bring me here? And all of a sudden, you're walkin' out on me? I don't think so! Not right now! You're gettin' your wishes, so SIT DOWN!
    RebelCobra RebelCobra 18-21, M 6 Responses Jan 30

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    I just checked on my son.

    This is the greeting on his answering machine. "Hi, this is C. If you are someone from the phone company, I've already sent the money. If it's you mom, please send money. If it's my financial institution, you don't lend me enough money. If you're a friend, you owe me money. If...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 11 Responses Mar 14

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    you need not be an entertainer.

    you just need to have a good heart and always do make someone happy when he is depressed or in pain. you won't earn money but you will feel happy about it and enrich your happiness
    aaditjain aaditjain 18-21, M 1 Response May 17

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    Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

    A: A gummy bear.!!!!! ^_^
    Guanabana Guanabana 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    Looking at my profile you'd be forgiven

    for thinking that I'm the loudest, most attention seeking hyena laughing imbecile at parties. To be honest I'm the one washing up or under the table licking the trifle bowl out with my finger. I really don't wish to be the centre of attention I just have a desperate need to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Apr 4

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 29

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    A friend set me up on a blind date.

    He told me that this was a good friend of his, he had a sense of humour, ... A good guy all around and I would enjoy myself. I wasn't very eager to go, at that point taking out the trash held more appeal. Mike, my friend, said he will bring his gf and we could all go out...
    daraglanzer daraglanzer 36-40, F 11 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 16 Responses Apr 1

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    "I'm tired, but I can't sleep.

    .." Hey, diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun, Then died of electric shock. "I think, it's best to keep my thoughts to myself..." :)
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 3 Responses May 18

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    radtechcrys radtechcrys 36-40, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    2Charlie3 2Charlie3 22-25, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    JessM50 JessM50 18-21, F 4 Responses May 17

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    I was trying to be celibate

    but I ended up salivating when I saw her.
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Decided to start a "if I had a dollar

    for every time someone told me I looked like" jar. I'm at $5.
    hospitalrooms hospitalrooms 31-35, F 2 hrs ago

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    -Why did the plant cell go to the dentist?

    To get a chloro-filling -What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium -Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO I'm such a nerd LOL XD
    Petepot Petepot 13-15, F 10 Responses Jan 29

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    A mutual friend invited us (bff

    and me) to lunch. Her son graduated from college, and she wanted to celebrate with us exclusive. It followed the conversation led to graduations. Mutual friend: I raised the pig...cut up for my son's graduation party. (We are in the country side so we live the simple life.) Me...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 3 Responses May 21

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    Nowadays, i dont know whats wrong with me!

    !.. i feel like i am getting boobs (breasts) .. every 3 days it getting bigger and bigger.. but I AM A MAN.. WHY IS THAT HAPPENING??!.. i am just living normal life without any weird thing.. may be fatty something i got or from soda. it really bother me when i am sleeping or...
    sshortyy sshortyy 18-21, M 2 Responses May 18

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    Don't think of yourself

    as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    I teach pre school 3 year olds.

    while potty training I took the boys to the restroom. they were all standing up trying to pee over the toilet bowl , when I came across little mason. he was straining for all he had in him! I asked him what was the matter. he exclaimed in frustration Ms.Teri, Mine don't work!! I...
    iowateri8309 iowateri8309 51-55 3 Responses Apr 29

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    i just told someone 'your worse then those

    stringy things in bananas'
    itsxeon itsxeon 18-21, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little

    fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son. (3:43 am....I can't sleep...This is killing me!) ************** Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses, And all the king's men, Had scrambled eggs For...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 10 Responses Apr 14

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    If any on finds a bag of marbles can you please

    return them to Chloe she lost her marbles a couple off years ago
    ChloeValintina ChloeValintina 26-30, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    Dear READERS, Roses are red,

    Violets are blue, Monkeys like YOU, belong to the zoo. But don't be afraid, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at you. I'm only joking. I'm just bored, I just wanted to Say HELLO to YOU! :D So enjoy this poem, That i copy and kind of rewrite for you...
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 9 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Boy: Our principal is

    so stupid. Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No. Girl: I'm the principal's daughter. Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No. Boy: Good. *Walks away*
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 30

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    Found this on Google: I'm gonna order a pizza

    5 minutes before the new year and when they arrive i'll say,"I order this da** pizza a year ago!" LOL AGAIN HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE :D :D
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 10 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    Do you know why a previous relationship is

    called EX? It's not the term for the past. EX is short for EXPIRED. Kidding :D
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 9 Responses Dec 24, 2014

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    Let's eat Grandpa! Let's eat,

    Grandpa! Correct punctuation can save lives!
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 30

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    Even when at my own expense.

    If I happen to trip over nothing when you're having a bad day and it makes you smile, then that floor definitely tripped me! If you are ready to cry and a milkshake mustache will make you smile, lay it on me. I love my friends and would do anything for them. If only I had more...
    bbybleu bbybleu 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    Starting my medic shift

    so heres a clinical joke ( its a bit **** ) A pirate goes to the clinic worried that the moles on his back may be cancer. " its ok" says the Dr " there benign" "Count em again Dr" says the pirate " i reckon there be 10 at least !
    JAK6803 JAK6803 46-50, M 6 Responses May 12

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    This is so funny and cute

    that had to share it with you. Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come...
    SmartSweet1 SmartSweet1 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 19

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    When you really want to slap someone,

    do it and yell "mosquito".
    koh72 koh72 41-45, M 6 Responses Apr 29

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    Man: *screaming at the TV* DON'T DO IT!

    DON'T DO IT!!! Wife: Honey, what are you watching? Man: *sobbing* Our wedding. Wife: -_-
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 14 Responses Jan 29

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    So I heard this today from my friend.

    I just thought it was kinda funny. Why do girls hang out together in odd numbers? Because they can't even!
    SpaceGlitch SpaceGlitch 16-17, F 3 Responses May 13

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    P1: "I like Eminem" P2: "I like skittles

    better" P1: "No, the rapper you idiot.." P2: "You're the idiot, what's so good about a M&M wrapper..?"
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 9, 2014

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    Son: Dad, I'm hungry.

    Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad. Son: I'm serious! Dad: No, you are Hungry! Son: ...You are joking... Dad: No, I'm Dad :D
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 29

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    I'm a high school teacher,

    I always try to find a way to make my students laugh while learning.
    coachaxel coachaxel 26-30, M 1 Response May 18

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    When someone says, "expect the unexpected.

    " Slap them and say: "You didn't expect that did you?"
    secret7148 secret7148 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 10

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    My to do list: 1) go to pet shop 2) buy bird

    seed 3) ask the bloke in the shop how long it takes to grow bird 4) observe their expression
    JAK6803 JAK6803 46-50, M 7 Responses May 12

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    I've always wanted to walk up to a stranger

    and hand him a briefcase and whisper: " You know what to do," and walk away.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 30

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    Of course I talk like an idiot.

    How else could you understand me?
    SpaceGlitch SpaceGlitch 16-17, F 3 Responses May 12

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    Laughing so hard, no noise come out,

    so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
    08RoseBlack 08RoseBlack 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 29

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    An Eternity My bff had a bout of

    hypochondriasis again! The same of old fear, the same trend of thought... Bff: I'd like to live very long. What should I do? Me: That's a wise decision. You don't smoke, do you? Bff: Occasionally. Me: Starting now, stop smoking. Do you drink? Bff: Not much. Just a bit of wine...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 2 Responses May 18

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