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I Like People With a Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 31,389 People

    FoolishLuna FoolishLuna 46-50, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    How long does it take

    for a giraffe to throw up
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 3

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    2 dyslexics run into a bank

    and shout: Air in the hands Mother Stickers This is a **** up!!
    Unsatisfiedstace2 Unsatisfiedstace2 46-50, F 5 Responses Jan 4

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    I've only ever met one person

    who doesn't get offended with my mean sense of humour. It's not even that bad, but people are so sensitive these days -_-
    bluegirlie98 bluegirlie98 16-17, F 5 Responses Jan 12

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    Montseny15 Montseny15 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2015

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    I like someone that like to laugh

    and have a good time.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 16, 2015

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    Bring me your funny, witty,

    sense of humor!!!! Let's laugh till our bellies hurt!
    Spazzyfox Spazzyfox 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 27

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    If you dont got common sense talk to me its

    cool. If you don't got this Dont bother
    just69happy just69happy 22-25, M Dec 24, 2015

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    I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is

    now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
    slingshot007 slingshot007 46-50, M 3 Responses Jan 8

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    There are three types of people in this

    world; Those that are good at maths Those that aren't
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76 36-40, M 6 Responses Dec 27, 2015

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    richochet96791 richochet96791 36-40, M 1 Response Feb 1

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    Hand written birthday invitations: I just

    stopped my daughter from mailing out 35 hand written birthday cards......Each envelope had the person's name and email address on it......(mulligan)
    Wendy630 Wendy630 46-50, F 6 Responses Jan 4

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    A man was walking along a California beach

    and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 27, 2015

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    There are 2 reasons not to drink toilet

    water: Number 1 and number 2
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76 36-40, M 7 Responses Jan 4

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    THE *****.....Some friends were sitting at the

    bar talking about their professions. The first guy says "I'm a YUPPIE, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist" The second guy says "I'm a DINK...Dual Income, No Kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB...Rich, Urban, Biker." They turn to the woman...
    HouseMouser HouseMouser 46-50, F 4 Responses Dec 8, 2015

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    "Make me laugh and I'm all yours".

    one of my fav phrase
    Enca11 Enca11 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 15, 2015

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    A couple decided to commit suicide together

    after a rough life. They decided to jump off a building. When they got to the top, they both agreed to jump on the count of 3. The woman jumped but the man held back. He watched the woman drop for 8 seconds, then saw that she pulled a parachute. Who betrayed who?
    FelicitySmoak FelicitySmoak 36-40, F 12 Responses Apr 30, 2015

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    AH HA HA HA HA HA Still hard to stop laughing.

    So when I took that pic, I placed a small apple in front of my dog to make the shot prettier... What I hadn't thought of is that my dog looked more like a piggy ready to be slaughtered. AH HA HA HA HA so I had the idea of adding some effects and stickers to make it look like...
    EarlPhantomhive EarlPhantomhive 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 8, 2015

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    A rough childhood can make you develop a sense

    of humor. I was kidnapped once. I was walking down the road a car pulled up and the driver asked me if I wanted to get into his car and visit a land with magic and fairies and all kinds of candy. I said sure why not. After all I was on spring break from college anyway. So he...
    Phillyross1962 Phillyross1962 51-55, M 6 Responses Sep 26, 2015

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    I find I'm funnier when I'm drinking.

    . And no, this isn't like when you think you are a great dancer after several drinks.. I'm being serious. In fact, I'm less serious and generally just banter. My mind must be disjointed.
    CovertInk CovertInk 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 6, 2015

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    A father passing by his son's bedroom,

    was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands "Dear, Dad. It is...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 46-50, M 3 Responses Apr 10, 2015

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    This Property is protected by a husband with a

    gun and wife with PMS guess which ones home
    lobosluv lobosluv 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 6, 2015

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    How To Shower Like A Man:

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt...
    traveller139 traveller139 22-25, M 11 Responses Jan 28, 2013

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    53messenger 53messenger 51-55, M 3 Responses Dec 28, 2015

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    Women are like iPhones.

    You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves. #isthatso?
    sweetpetals sweetpetals 31-35, F 8 Responses Sep 7, 2014

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    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him

    if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation "'I now pronounce you man and wife'".
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 4 Responses Jan 7, 2015

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    A married couple got a red haired child

    after many years.The couple had a brown hair,so the husband became suspicious and the wife upset.They saw the doctor,who was puzzled,because according to the law of genetics this was not possible. "How often do you have sex?"he...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 7 Responses Feb 7, 2015

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    tadmore254 tadmore254 51-55, F 5 Responses Oct 15, 2015

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 30, 2015

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    If I had a £ for every time I have been told I

    am childish, I could have a massive treehouse now.
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 4

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    Over the years, I've done it in a lot of places.

    I've done it in ice cold water and I've done it in warm water. I've done it on almost every beach around here, I've even travelled to other continent's to do it. I've done it by myself and i've done it with a group of people. i've done it non stop all day and also enjoy doing...
    Wendy630 Wendy630 46-50, F 21 Responses Jan 6

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    A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant.

    The waitress asks, "What will it be?" The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. "That will be $4.50," The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 28, 2015

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    BigNJ76 BigNJ76 36-40, M 1 Response Jan 4

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    The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles

    as a strobe light during sex.
    slingshot007 slingshot007 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 25

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    Three years ago I was offered a job over sea's.

    The culture was completely different from anything I was used to. I quickly learned that they where horrible drivers and not just in cars. The entire population owns and rides bikes. They all have bells on their bike which they non stop ring as they ride faster then the speed of...
    NeilAnblowme NeilAnblowme 51-55, M 7 Responses Jan 4

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    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 20, 2015

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    A man woke up in the morning with a headache

    and saw a rose, an Aspirin, water and a note on the bed side table written on it: ?Breakfast is on the table I am off to the store?. When he went down stairs he saw his son and asked him what happened last night. His son said ?Well you came home drunk and when mom tried to kiss...
    lobosluv lobosluv 41-45, F 6 Responses Nov 8, 2015

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    When a bachelor marries,

    his wife has three qualities-she is an economist in the kitchen,an aristocrat in the living room and a devil in bed.After a few years,sure enough the three qualities remain,but not in the same order-she is an aristocrat in the kitchen,a devil in the living room and an economist...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 8 Responses Jan 26, 2015

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    I am asexual 41, looking

    for MOC I am Asian British, looking for a permanent MOC preferably with an asexual/gay. But want a normal couple's life (without sex) including living together and enjoying other stuff just like best friends/flat mates. Pls contact me if u want the same in life. Me Also
    ItsMeeeHere ItsMeeeHere 41-45 a week ago

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    Humor can make a serious difference.

    In the workplace, at home, in all areas of life – looking for a reason to laugh is necessary. A sense of humor helps us to get through the dull times, cope with the difficult times, enjoy the good times and manage the scary times.
    GirlieGirl07 GirlieGirl07 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 17, 2015

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    Marriage is like a deck of cards.

    All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.
    lobosluv lobosluv 41-45, F 12 Responses Nov 18, 2015

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    Airguitarist Airguitarist 51-55, M 3 Responses Dec 17, 2015

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    slingshot007 slingshot007 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 2

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    Sexiness wears thin after a while

    and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh everyday, ah, that's a real treat.
    GirlieGirl07 GirlieGirl07 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 20, 2015

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    When I was kid, I was terrified of ear wigs

    because I thought they came out of your ears. Just imagine how scared I was when I heard about cockroaches!
    slingshot007 slingshot007 46-50, M 5 Responses Jan 14

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