I Like Puns

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 200 People

    “I'm not very versed in writing songs,

    so I refrain from doing it.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 11, 2014

    “I used to have a fear of boats,

    but that ship has sailed.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Apr 3, 2014

    “I don't know why my eyeglass lenses were

    steamed up. I was mystified.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    3 Responses Mar 26, 2015

    Did you ever notice that musicians play

    and doctors practice but the rest of us work for a living!
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 16, 2014

    My first job was working in an orange juice

    factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 25, 2014

    “The eye doctor claimed he was framed by an

    optical illusion when his patient wore contact lenses during a recent exam.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 2, 2015

    “Although there were bombs everywhere at the

    party, it was still a blast.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 25, 2015
    kabibal kabibal
    26-30, M
    May 31, 2015

    My mom said follow your dreams,

    so i went back to bed.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 1, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Apr 18, 2015

    “Why are all businessmen fat?

    Must be all the inflation.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 25, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 3, 2015

    “I got a job with a company

    that manufactures trampolines. Now I'll have something to fall back on.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses May 29, 2014
    austinepic austinepic
    18-21, M
    Mar 26, 2015

    “The lumberjack loved his new computer.

    He especially enjoyed logging in.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 14, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 24, 2015

    “When the statistics professor

    and the math professor wrote a cookbook together, they called it 'Pi A La Mode.'”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Apr 8, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Feb 8, 2015

    “The junior librarian was reincarnated

    as a bookmark because he always knew his place.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 23, 2014

    My wife was quite upset

    after she spilled a freshly brewed cup of spiced chocolate chai, not because of the broken cup, or that it spilled on the carpet and might leave a stain the best cleaning company NYC has to offer couldn't get out. But because she had just spent all that time making it exactly...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Mar 14, 2014

    “I planned to find my watch today,

    but I didn't have the time.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 28, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 17, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 16, 2014

    “People who lack the patience

    for calligraphy will never have properly formed characters.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Aug 16, 2014

    My elderly aunt loves telling jokes

    while she knits. She is a real knitwit.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 30, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 28, 2014

    “I shouted from a mountaintop in Italy

    and a famous author answered. I definitely heard an Eco.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 17, 2015

    “I had an account with a bank in the North

    Pole, but they froze all my assets.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Sep 25, 2014

    “There were charges given to the person

    who freed the angry bull.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 12, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 1, 2015

    “Have you read the book about hands?

    It's a real page turner."
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 5, 2015

    “When I was young, I wanted to study

    archaeology, but my dad thought it was nothing more than a lot of skullduggery ...”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Mar 14, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 15, 2015

    “I tried talking about our future

    but she just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Aug 4, 2014

    A dentist married a manicurist,

    but they fought tooth and nail.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 3, 2014

    "Everybody wants to discuss me,

    so this must mean I'm discuss-thing" Eminem Pure Genius. :D
    lofaszbazmeg lofaszbazmeg
    22-25, M
    Mar 21, 2015

    “I held the door for a mime the other day,

    I thought it was a nice gesture.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 28, 2014

    “My friend brought me a Swedish cake.

    I later discovered it was Stollen.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 16, 2014

    Your lips are so chapped,

    I can hear you smile.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 2, 2014

    “The poor speller tried to express his

    reluctance to repeat sixth grade, but words failed him.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Apr 29, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 3, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 24, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 25, 2015

    “The podiatry book used footnotes

    while the proctology book used endnotes.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Mar 3, 2015

    I can sew, knit and cross-stitch.

    Darn knit all, I'm a triple thread!
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 20, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 17, 2014

    I was reading "I Like Puns" this morning

    until it started to hurt, so I had to stop punishing myself....
    PastorDavidRN PastorDavidRN
    66-70, M
    Oct 14, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 23, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 24, 2015

    “I wonder if you can get through the locks of

    the Panama Canal with Florida Keys?”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Apr 20, 2015

    In the news: Today's psychic conference is

    canceled due to unforeseen events.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 11, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 26, 2015

    He drove his expensive car into a tree

    and found out how the Mercedes bends.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 17, 2015

    “Any type of criticism would aggregate the

    builder including constructive criticism.”
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response May 19, 2015
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 28, 2015
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