I Like Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 842 People

    What do you call a deer with no eyes?

    No eyed deer. What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes? A still no eyed deer
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response May 26, 2015

    Knock Knock.... 'Who's There?

    ' Dr "Dr Who?' Yes! HAHAHAHAHAHAH :)
    GeorgiaAllender13 GeorgiaAllender13
    13-15, F
    Aug 29, 2015

    Me: text : Great! Hey listen I need to ask you

    something and I want you to be straight forward and honest with me. It might be awkward after this and hinder any desire or openness you may have of beginning any type of relationship with me, but I've keep this in for a long while and it's causing me to have reservations and I...
    Faunia Faunia
    41-45
    1 Response Aug 28, 2015

    Haha Forever!

    ita more than just ******* loving stupid jokes!!! its about being able to be happy and laugh at anything that was designed for that! not being cynical or pessimistic or judgemental. a joke is a joke and im going to laugh just as hard at the stupid ones because when youre happy...
    fridaygurl fridaygurl
    18-21, F
    Oct 6, 2013

    What's the last thing

    that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield? ~Its butt! xD What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish? ~This tastes funny! What is invisible and smells carrot? ~Rabbit farts. xD What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? ~A FrisBee...
    DropsOfRain DropsOfRain
    26-30, F
    2 Responses May 27, 2015

    A wealthy man was having an affair with an

    Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would...
    rajbj rajbj
    22-25, M
    Aug 28, 2015

    Airman Jones was assigned to the induction

    center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    Jun 22, 2015

    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a

    middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    May 2, 2015

    Bubba had shingles. Those of us

    who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba: Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    May 2, 2015

    My doctor was explaining a procedure his was

    going to preform on me when I asked him, " Doc when this is over will I be able to play the piano? " He looks at me an says, " Of course. Why?" "Well doc, I couldn't play it before."
    showstar showstar
    66-70, M
    Aug 20, 2015

    Thats So Stupid XD

    Stupid jokes make me laugh. When someone says something stupid we laugh. But his time its a joke that's stupid. lol hahaha thats real funny (: No. This wasn't such a great story but oh well (: Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 7 was registered as a 6 offender . :o lol that...
    jadebigfan jadebigfan
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 22, 2013

    A trucker came into a truck stop cafe

    and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    Jun 22, 2015

    Bob: "Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder.

    " Jim: "Oh my God, are you okay?" Bob: "Yeah it's a good thing I fell off the first step."
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Feb 1, 2015

    Why was six afraid of seven?

    Because seven was a registered six offender
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 26, 2015

    From Rodney Dangerfield: 'I was outside a *****

    club- it said "Topless! Bottomless!" I went in-- there was no one there!' 'Next place I went was a gay bar. Had trouble getting in-- they asked me for proof of sex. I showed them proof-- they said it wasn't enough! When I did get in, it was ridiculous-- there was 15 guys for...
    Woody6 Woody6
    41-45, M
    1 Response Aug 18, 2015

    Why isn't their any casinos in Africa?

    I don't know tell me. their is too many cheetas
    TheDyingButterfly TheDyingButterfly
    16-17, F
    Oct 20, 2014

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to

    catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    May 2, 2015

    Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

    ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️ Because they taste funny!
    thisisdave thisisdave
    36-40, M
    Jul 26, 2014

    Is your name Katniss?

    Because you're starting an uprising in my district. 😂😂😂
    Kamberxo Kamberxo
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 16, 2014

    The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven.

    St Peter is receptionist at the entrance. - A cat shows up. St Peter says "I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn't cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you have always wanted." Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    Jun 22, 2015

    What did the snail say

    when it sat on the tortoise's back? "wheeeeeeeee!"
    JohnWatsonMD JohnWatsonMD
    61-65, M
    3 Responses May 13, 2015

    Sometimes I'm so bad .

    .. I don't cross all my 'I's or cross all my 'T's ... I really CAN believe its not butter ... jaywalk ... I fart in a crowded elevator ... I play hooky from church ... I spend my offering on ice cream ... I don't say all my prayers ... I don't have nice day when someone wishes...
    dorkgerdo dorkgerdo
    46-50
    Nov 23, 2014

    I was in the park today ,

    I found a carrier bag with New England rugby shirt in side Can you believe there worth 5 p now !
    roastlamb roastlamb
    36-40, M
    Oct 7, 2015

    A redneck family from outside Little Rock was

    visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    May 2, 2015

    Three guys walk into a bar,

    the fourth one ducks.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 13, 2015

    QUOTES TAKEN FROM ACTUAL FEDERAL EMPLOYEE

    PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS: 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." 3. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 4. "This employee is really not so much...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    Jun 22, 2015

    Samantha.............

    ...........or Samanthb? Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! Mooo mooo moooooooooooo moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo:D Cows go Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Fish go Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww When the pimp is in the vicinity of the cribecular area, you all...
    Denzebarrrn Denzebarrrn
    18-21, M
    1 Response May 5, 2015

    apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny

    jokes about the moon, and follow them up by saying "ah, i guess you had to be there" -badum tss
    mike8989 mike8989
    26-30, M
    Jul 28, 2014

    spiderman is the ultimate teenage boy.

    One day, he wakes up with muscles, finds hair in new places and discovers he can spray sticky goo around the house.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jun 12, 2015

    Weird Dreams

    A guy tells his psychiatrist, “I always have this weird dream at night. I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge." The psychiatrist muses, “Interesting." But tell me...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    4 Responses Nov 4, 2013

    😂 That is so weird!

    Why only crawfish!
    Living2Heights Living2Heights
    18-21, F
    May 22, 2015

    A young woman went to her doctor complaining of

    pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    May 2, 2015

    Me: *smiles stupidly* knock knock!

    Other person: *sigh* Who's there? Me: Interrupting cow *stifles laughter* Other person: *looks bored* Interrupting c- Me: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D Other person: *rolls eyes*
    jeanzie jeanzie
    16-17, F
    3 Responses May 3, 2015

    a **** has a sad life his hair is a mess,

    his family is nuts, his neighbor is an *******, his best friend is a *****, his owner beats him and whenever he gets excited he throws up
    mike8989 mike8989
    26-30, M
    Jul 31, 2014

    While the barber is lathering the man up

    for his shave, the man expresses to the barber how he has a hard time getting a close shave on his cheeks. The barber replies with a solution and pulls a small wooden ball out of this cabinet drawer. "Place the wooden ball between your cheek and gum on the right side and you...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    Jun 22, 2015

    Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella.

    .... Fo drizzle😂😂😂😂
    outofcontrol7 outofcontrol7
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 11, 2015

    A blonde who had been unemployed

    for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    May 2, 2015

    if a person can make me laugh that's half the

    battle. that's the way to my heart. that and band merch. Mayday Parade merch is always welcomed
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic
    36-40, F
    May 26, 2015

    90% of women like men in pink T-Shirt.

    But ironically, 90% of men in pink T-Shirts don't like women.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jun 12, 2015
    Piano50 Piano50
    51-55, F
    Nov 29, 2015

    Why did Mr potato stay in?

    Incase Mr onion rings... Aha.
    Chark92 Chark92
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 22, 2014
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