“I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our fifty-two states.”
— Racquel Welch
What Some Celebrities Had to Say - Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel
"It is wonderful...
“He speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual too.”
— Don King
«For NASA, space is still a high priority.»
- Dan Quayle
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate
*Shocked* - For most people, death comes at the end of their lives.
- GLR broadcaster, UK
“I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true...
Reporters, Reporters!! - "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
- baseball Player Pedro Guerrero on reporters.
“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”
~ Rep. Michele Bachmann
"I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5."
- Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player
“When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I’m just like, ‘Oh shut up’ I’m so sick of them because they’re always complaining.”
~ Glenn Beck
Australia's Imports - «Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.»
- Keppel Enderbery,
Former Australian cabinet minister
Questions And Answers - "Violence is never the answer. It's the question, and the answer is always 'yes'."
"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
- Mickey Rivers, baseball player.
Worst Pick Up Line Ever? - CHRIS BROWN. The singer, who pleaded guilty in 2009 to felony assault for attacking then-girlfriend Rihanna, is apparently making light of the...
“I mean, part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
- Donald Trump
“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled...
Wow ... News! - I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad.
- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
"Don't fear the terrorists. They're mothers and fathers."
- Rosie O'Donnell
«We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?»
- Lee Iacocca, Chairman of the Chrysler corporation
"Most lies about blondes are false."
- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"A proof is a proof. What kind of proof? It's a proof. A proof is proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it is proven."
- Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien
"I'm like the Pythagorean theorem, I can't be solved"
~ Shaquille O' Neal
“It’s not that I dislike many people. It’s just that I don’t like many people.”
— Bryant Gumbel
In the News - "Reports are sketchy, but we have heard that in the first heart transplant operation in Belgium, both patient and donor are doing fine."
- Radio news...
Gotta Laugh - Gotta laugh,Some quotes,Funny,Stupid,Regardless,I like 'em.
«I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me.»
— Jessica Simpson
I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Keep Falling Out - I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED...
“It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”
- Axl Rose
"People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius."
- Jerry Lewis, comedian
Well More Funny- Blackadder - "We're in a sticky situation all right. This is the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick insect got caught on a sticky bun."
Re:Stupid Quotes - 640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates, 1981
But obviously we've gotta stand with our North Korean allies
- Sarah Palin
A Computer Classic - "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
“I feel the best way to ensure Americans’ freedom is to tighten restrictions on that freedom in any way possible. Only through wiretaps, illegal searches and seizures...
Knee Surgery Where? - I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
You Believe!! - "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right."
--Rome, Italy, July 22...
Geography/History Lesson - We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice...
"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it?
- Harry News, music reviewer
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Phillies manager
Balanced Diet - «Food is an important part of a balanced diet.»
- Fran Lebowitz, US writer
“If Lincoln were alive today, he’d be turning over in his grave.
~ Gerald Ford (on Nixon and Watergate)
Newspaper Quotes - According to Colonial War Memorial Hospital staff the woman was brought in after the accident by witnesses at the scene and was taken for obliteration.
FORMER First Lady - Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Smoking Kills - «Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.»
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal...
"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
- Parish Magazine
He Talks Too Much, Huh? - "Too caustic?" To hell with the cost. If it's a good picture, we'll make it
“The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
— Joe Theismann
"Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets."
- British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea
Warning This Story Is Not Safe For Kids - James Joyce is regarded as one of the most important writers of the 1900s and his novel Ulysses is considered the epitome of Modernist...
Ice Cube? - That's just the tip of the ice cube.
- Neil Hamilton, BBC2