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I Like This Joke

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Ha Ha!

    This is way too long for a stoner joke but I thought it was super cute.     A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past, looks up and says: "Hey Koala, what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint...
    mefirstGIMME mefirstGIMME 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 31, 2008

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    Cute

    SENIOR DATING Dorothy and Edna, two 'senior' widows, are talking.     Dorothy: 'That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.' Edna: 'Well, I...
    jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321 46-50, F 9 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    Two Monkees

    A man took two monkees to the taxidermist. Taxidermist said,"Do you want them mounted?" Man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."  
    retiredfather retiredfather 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    i like jokes so please inbox me if you have some :)
    mahdiraza mahdiraza 16-17, M Aug 17

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    Another Good Joke...ha ha ha ha ha A man was driving a car ... A fat lady on a scooty overtook him !! Man shouted : "Hey Buffalo" Lady turned back and shouted : "You donkey...
    satyr1007 satyr1007 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 20

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    I said...I really mean... THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 25

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    A Cynics Guide to Life: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows And a...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Ways to tell someone they are goofy! Politically Correct ways to tell someone they are goofy: A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel's...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F a week ago

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    Q: Why are people like a box of chocolates? A: Some have nuts and some don't!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 17

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    Genie and the Beer Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    Letter Written Slow A LETTER FROM A WEST VIRGINIA MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER Dear Louanne Ellie Mae, I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    Unengaged Brain PLEASE ENGAGE BRAIN BEFORE SPEAKING Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 24

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    The perfect man poem. The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean. The perfect man likes children And will raise...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    What men say & what it "really means"! "I'm going fishing." Really means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F Aug 25

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    Things learned from children... Some things I've learned from my children: Super glue "is" forever. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F Aug 25

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    Way to have FUN while shopping! Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these... Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick Me...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    A wife was busy frying eggs when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling. "Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Turn them! TURN...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 30

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    A minister delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning that was about half the usual length of his sermons. He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 4

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    I went to the local bar yesterday. As i was drinking my beer i heard someone talking with a high pitched voice...kind`of like a chipmonk, I turned and noticed a guy in a navy...
    LuvButtz LuvButtz 46-50, M Sep 5

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      GHOST SEX A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in...
    wintersecret wintersecret 31-35, M 4 Responses Sep 8

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    GM vs Microsoft At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that: "If GM had kept up with...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Two men playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up." When he returned he said: "I have a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Birthday Party A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out..... a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    "Grr?" I think I just found Aslan. Peace,Brotha ✌️
    Totalnothing Totalnothing 16-17, F Aug 16

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    A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 16

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    The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 16

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    The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 17

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    Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 17

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    How to get out of anext speeding ticket! A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F Aug 18

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    The Laws of Work... The first 90% of project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F Aug 18

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    A Fire Truck One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F Aug 18

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    Remember when..... Remember when........ A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show of note a window was something you hated to clean and ram was the cousin...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    Best Son There are three Jewish mothers bragging about their sons. The first one says "My son is very successful. He is the best lawyer in New York City." The second one says...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    Too much Coffee You know you're drinking too much coffee when... You answer the door before people knock. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You ski uphill. You grind...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    Old yachtsmen never die, they just keel over*
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 18

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    An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that in order to prolong his life, they...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 19

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    Little Johnny... Geometry Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 19

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    The Psychiatric Hotline "Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline." If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    Paint the Porch Hobo shows up at the front door of a grand mansion. The owner comes to the door. Hobo says, "Sir, I am down on my luck and ask if you could please spare me a...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    Exerise For The Nonathletic Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise. Exercise________ Calories burned...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    Two Statues For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 20

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    A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 20

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    Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired
    ItsAlexYay ItsAlexYay 13-15, T 1 Response Aug 20

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    A guy walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "shingles." So she took down his name, address, and medical insurance number and told him...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 21

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    Wal-Mart Vs Heaven I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Here are the similarities I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 21

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