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I Like This Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 41 People

    Cute

    SENIOR DATING Dorothy and Edna, two 'senior' widows, are talking.     Dorothy: 'That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.' Edna: 'Well, I...
    jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321 46-50, F 9 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    Ha Ha!

    This is way too long for a stoner joke but I thought it was super cute.     A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past, looks up and says: "Hey Koala, what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint...
    mefirstGIMME mefirstGIMME 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 31, 2008

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    Two Monkees

    A man took two monkees to the taxidermist. Taxidermist said,"Do you want them mounted?" Man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."  
    retiredfather retiredfather 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    an old Man and woman hate each other

    but stay married for years. During their shouting fights, he constantly warns "if I die first, I'll make sure I dig up out the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life." One day, he abruptly dies. After the funeral, the wife immediately goes to the local bar to party. her...
    ajrestless ajrestless 22-25, F Sep 21

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My friend Brent has te most sexiest racist but funny jokes, he doesn't mean to be mean but it just comes to his head. In ROTC some coast guard people came and my friend Mary said...
    brownzugar brownzugar 16-17, M 19 hrs ago

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    A wife asks her husband: "What do you like most in me, "my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looks at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humor!”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 2

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    Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?” “Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 9

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    Hillbilly son introducing his fiancé to his family. Paw, I'd like you to meet Charlebelle ain't she pretty? She shaw is son, wheredya find her? Well paw she's from the...
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M Oct 28

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    A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy." His friend replies, "How's that?" "It's like this -- my hair line is in recession...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 29

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    A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither, Doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 30

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    The $5,000,000 question Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $5,000,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Nov 9

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    I like anything that makes me laugh, cuz laughter is the best thing in the world, to do and to hear.
    PieBombs PieBombs 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    Q: What did the Black Eyed Peas do at Wiz Khalifa's costume party? A: They dressed up in black and yellow, black and yellow, and said, "I'm a bee, I'm a bee, I'm a I'm a I'm a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 27

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    How many Born Again Christians does it take to change a lightbulb? A. 5. One to change the lightbulb and four to see the light.
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M 2 Responses Oct 28

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    How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. One. But the lightbulb has to want to change.
    SwampyStables SwampyStables 46-50, M Oct 28

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    Q: Why didn't Cain please God? A: Because he just wasn't Able.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 28

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    A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 30

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    Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Oct 30

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    what is that thing which have a nose but no face ans: nobody nose ;D
    joethangbali joethangbali 18-21, M Oct 31

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    The Guardian Angel's Mistake A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Nov 2

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    Why We Can't Understand the English During a trip to England an American and an Englishman struck up a conversation. "Are you enjoying your stay?" asked the Englishman. "Oh yes...
    BadPam BadPam 51-55, F Nov 4

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    Q: Why did Dorothy get lost in Oz? A: She had three men giving her directions.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 5

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    Q: How can you identify an Irish pirate A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 6

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    When my physician said that my headaches were caused by tension in my neck and shoulders, I looked around for a product that would relax those muscles. The perfect solution seemed...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 7

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    Passover Miracles for Moses? Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Nov 7

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    A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well "Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10" "Good. What comes after three?” "Four," answers the boy. "What...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Nov 9

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    Little Johnny's father asked for report card. Johnny replied, "I don't have it." "Why not?" His father asked. "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 10

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    Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 10

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    Slow Mom, Fast Mom Little David's mother was in the hospital, and he was paying a visit to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was ocupied by a woman...
    HotMomShaama HotMomShaama 46-50, F 2 Responses Nov 11

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    A man wrote a letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 12

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    The man charged into the jewelry shop, slammed his fists angrily on the showcase, removed a wristwatch from his pocket and shook it under the nose of the owner. "You said this...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 13

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    The robbery Two friends, Jim and Paul are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 14

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    No worry A wife is having $€# with her husband's best friend one day. Soon the phone rings, so she answers it. "Yes... uh, huh... OK... yes... bye." Her husband's best friend...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 15

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    Three RINGS when you get married. The engagement RING, wedding RING and the suffeRING! Lol #repost
    redtigerhood911 redtigerhood911 22-25, F Nov 17

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    A couple of young children are at day care one day when one of the little girls approaches Tommy and says, "Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?" "Sure! What do you want me to do?" he...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 17

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    Two friends were having a drink oneday at a pub, half way through they were drunk One guy asked the other : what is first aid? Then the other one replies: its when you get AIDS...
    HotMomShaama HotMomShaama 46-50, F Nov 18

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    Baaaaad Parrot ! A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude...
    kay0122 kay0122 41-45, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    The sexiest people known to man have signed my history text book
    dambookworm14 dambookworm14 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Thought I'd Pass This One On...
    kay0122 kay0122 41-45, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Happy Friday Day Everyone Enjoy...
    kay0122 kay0122 41-45, F 5 days ago

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    A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office. After getting...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Joe and Joan were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    mother1983 mother1983 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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