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I Like This Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 43 People

    Two Monkees

    A man took two monkees to the taxidermist. Taxidermist said,"Do you want them mounted?" Man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."  
    retiredfather retiredfather 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Ha Ha!

    This is way too long for a stoner joke but I thought it was super cute.     A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past, looks up and says: "Hey Koala, what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint...
    mefirstGIMME mefirstGIMME 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 31, 2008

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    an old Man and woman hate each other

    but stay married for years. During their shouting fights, he constantly warns "if I die first, I'll make sure I dig up out the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life." One day, he abruptly dies. After the funeral, the wife immediately goes to the local bar to party. her...
    ajrestless ajrestless 22-25, F Sep 21, 2014

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    Cute

    SENIOR DATING Dorothy and Edna, two 'senior' widows, are talking.     Dorothy: 'That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.' Edna: 'Well, I...
    jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321 46-50, F 9 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    This man walks into a bar

    and sees a donkey. He askes the bartender why is there a donkey in here the bartender says if you can make this donkey laugh I will give you ten thousand dollars. So the man whispers in the donkey's ear and the donkey started laughing. Then the bartender said if you can...
    cmyk323 cmyk323 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 5

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    Related Experiences

    Joke: A man goes to church and tells the priest "Father, I almost cheated on my wife." The priest asks him "How do you almost cheat on your wife?" The man says "Well, me and the...
    BreakingTheRules BreakingTheRules 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    U heard the joke abt the roller coaster???....... Its complicated ...Theres alot of twists to it!!
    Avreich Avreich 22-25, M 4 hrs ago

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    U heard the joke abt the popcorn?........ Its kinda corny!!
    Avreich Avreich 22-25, M 4 hrs ago

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    You heard the joke abt the wall???....... I just cant get over it!!!
    Avreich Avreich 22-25, M 4 hrs ago

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    You heard the joke abt tge pencil??........ Actually it has no point to it!!
    Avreich Avreich 22-25, M 4 hrs ago

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    My today's joke was rejected but as it is so funny and clever I have appealed its rejection. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome. Enjoy the cover joke. It was raining hard and...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    There is a girl here near me. Her friend was treating suicide so is read of calling for help she egged him on. That he wasn't a man if he didn't go thru with it. Etc etc. She...
    MisterGw MisterGw 41-45, M 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the...
    msb2015 msb2015 26-30, M 20 hrs ago

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    More of a story than a joke but whatever mr and mrs Ato were going to have twin boys they wanted unique names but had no clue where to start eventually they settled in naming the...
    jbrown1635 jbrown1635 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    A man walked out to the street and immediately catches a taxi in New York City. The cabbie says, "Perfect timing, you're just like Brian. " Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    the Father at our church came up with this Squirrel joke. So true. In a small rural city all the churches were having squirrel invitation problem. So all Churches have there...
    hyrok40 hyrok40 36-40, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change colors? He had a reptile dysfunction. What did the black man say to his wife when he got home from work? He said "Hi honey. I...
    theguywiththeredhair theguywiththeredhair 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I can't say this because I always make suicide jokes.
    ConnerC123 ConnerC123 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Recently at a class reunion a friend brought up a incident that happened 45 years ago or so that I had forgotten. The comic books back then had this page selling things like: trick...
    Golondrinas Golondrinas 51-55, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road by a zebra crossing. One says, "Don't cross here!" The other one says, "Why not?" The first one says, "Look what happened to this...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I worked for the local news paper for a lot of years and I still remember what one of the press guys did as a joke on one of the bosses in the press room. Sean he is one of the...
    Lockiel45 Lockiel45 46-50, M 5 days ago

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    I think my friends want kill me over the stupid joke I told them. "Guess who I saw today?" "Who?" "Everyone I looked at."
    Spyro93 Spyro93 18-21, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Jokes and riddles which are non sex related are the best ones :)
    NickoliShang NickoliShang 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    Half of the time I tell a joke- the joke is me because I make no sense 😂😝😭👌😆😎
    Jaazz1987 Jaazz1987 16-17 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Ok so this is joke 3, again feel free to facepalm yourself, or tend to break pencils from my ridiculous jokes.. Whatcha call a gator in a vest? An investigator! Cuz he's a IN a...
    Kbrabbit Kbrabbit 16-17, F 12 Responses a week ago

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    A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Sometimes when you cry no one sees ur tears. Sometimes when you are happy no one sees your smile. But fart just one time.... : )
    msb2015 msb2015 26-30, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Hehe this is Joke no.2, please feel free to facepalm if this joke is really bad but I like it so yep! What do you call the ambulance for lemons? 😏 The Lemon-Aid...
    Kbrabbit Kbrabbit 16-17, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    What do you call a frog in the secret service?? Infrognito Dad jokes are the best jokes, no lie :)
    sfairy27 sfairy27 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 26

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    I love jokes and hope all of u do pls say yes
    tifalufairah tifalufairah 13-15, F Aug 26

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    Burnt offering Two men were down at the pub talking. The first man said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 25

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    HERE, HAVE A JOKE IN SPANISH: "-sabe ingles? -si -como se dice "un zapato" en ingles -a shoe -salud -gracias"
    Zbeara Zbeara 22-25, M 4 Responses Aug 25

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    this is website is full of jokes love it http://unlimitedshortjokes.weebly.com/
    Kyle178 Kyle178 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 25

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    this is website is full of jokes love it http://unlimitedshortjokes.weebly.com/
    Kyle178 Kyle178 22-25, M Aug 25

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    guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?? The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in...
    msb2015 msb2015 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 24

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    000Camilla 000Camilla 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    My son put this in my glass of ice water today and yes I jumped.
    mum2only1 mum2only1 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 22

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    Right! The cheek of my wifi at times. It's too scared to show my requested browser but has the b8lls to say... "You are not connected..." TalkTalk! (UK) if this is yer idea of a...
    Sazzio Sazzio 26-30, M Aug 18

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    So many inside jokes and they'll have us laughing for hours and other people just think we're crazy!
    izzycg izzycg 18-21, F Aug 16

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