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I Like This Joke

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 43 People

    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 20, 2012

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    Two Monkees

    A man took two monkees to the taxidermist. Taxidermist said,"Do you want them mounted?" Man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."  
    retiredfather retiredfather 61-65, M 3 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    Cute

    SENIOR DATING Dorothy and Edna, two 'senior' widows, are talking.     Dorothy: 'That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.' Edna: 'Well, I...
    jrabbit1321 jrabbit1321 46-50, F 9 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    Ha Ha!

    This is way too long for a stoner joke but I thought it was super cute.     A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past, looks up and says: "Hey Koala, what are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint...
    mefirstGIMME mefirstGIMME 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 31, 2008

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    This man walks into a bar

    and sees a donkey. He askes the bartender why is there a donkey in here the bartender says if you can make this donkey laugh I will give you ten thousand dollars. So the man whispers in the donkey's ear and the donkey started laughing. Then the bartender said if you can...
    cmyk323 cmyk323 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2015

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    Related Experiences

    Want to improv or write jokes? In Southern California? Want to make videos or play games/sports/physical activities? I have 2 free groups on FB (& Tagged, Yahoo & Google Groups...
    supergirl805 supergirl805 22-25, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Valentine died for love, Romeo also died for love, Jack in titanic died for love, Samson in the Bible died for love, Greek heroes Hercules & Archilles died 4 love.. I wonder where...
    Devil08 Devil08 22-25, M 7 hrs ago

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    There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island. They had no money but over the next three years they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.
    nicktime nicktime 31-35, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    One time I said to this kid if you want the most hilarious joke ever look in a mirror
    smitlord smitlord 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
    slingshot007 slingshot007 46-50, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Have you heard about the new high-tech broom that just came out? It's sweeping the nation. God that's bad 😁
    aussieguy43 aussieguy43 41-45, M 1 day ago

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    A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital. "How are you grandpa? he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    I just feel like a joke cause of my bipolar and speech impediment and nerve damage. No one takes me seriously
    krazkcatlady3085 krazkcatlady3085 26-30, F 2 days ago

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    see? i'm blonde so i can tell these jokes lol :Pa blonde, a redhead and a brunette were all lost in the desert. they found a lamp and rubbed it. a genie popped out and granted them...
    LillyJo LillyJo 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    These are two stories of one of my class periods inside jokes from this month and not my own, but whatever. A few days ago during math, we were talking about the lesson and our...
    Lcy2472 Lcy2472 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    A German woman married an American gentleman born in Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Where's a good place to get a joke/riddle book? Does anyone have an author or title? I love jokes, but I have a hard time remembering them. My family likes to share them and I...
    Nikkisela Nikkisela 61-65, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    1-Study. I hate it, like I dont care about math. I don't give a **** about what is "x" or "y" 2-When someone sees my scars, the person flips their **** out. Yeah I cut myself yeah...
    deleted deleted 26-30 a week ago

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    If you're an astronaut and you don't end a relationship with "look, I just need space " then you're just wasting everybody's time
    CuriousGuy833 CuriousGuy833 22-25, M 1 Response Feb 1

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    Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense...
    CuriousGuy833 CuriousGuy833 22-25, M Feb 1

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    Girl: Hey baby, would you pretend like a strong man and move the sofa..? Guy: Sure dear, would you pretend like a weak girl and suck my d!ck ? Girl: Jerk.!! Guy: Hey! we both are...
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M Feb 1

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    A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like...
    beautyndbeast beautyndbeast 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 30

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    Fcuk and Weight loss: John saw an ad in a newspaper..... "lose 5kg in a week" He calls the company & lady says " be ready tomorrow at 6am." The next morning he opens the...
    Devil08 Devil08 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 30

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    I really must ask why does everything think the Internet makes them invincible like old guys send kids perverted messages and show them there package. trolls pushing people to...
    SirStuOfEngland SirStuOfEngland 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 28

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    I thought it was funny anyway Wife asked husband if her butt is big Husband says well yeah like a barbecue grill Husband wants to get frisky that night Wife says... "and I'm...
    wolffive wolffive 51-55, M 1 Response Jan 28

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    HaHa... The other night I was out to dinner and there was this couple, he was thin and his wife, i am guessing. looked like she might be 300 pounds. sitting near me.. He was...
    Veryheavygirl Veryheavygirl 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 28

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    Okay, so I just woke up and had a dream. The dream wasn't really anything paticular except for the fact that it hit me hard and now I'm concerned nervous and scared. Its about the...
    CaityMixedColada CaityMixedColada 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 28

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    Favourite joker? Mine has to be Murr.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jan 27

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    Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them.
    coloco coloco 61-65, M Jan 27

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    There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy...
    coloco coloco 61-65, M 1 Response Jan 27

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    I'm not depressed. I was once a few years ago but I'm not right now even though I'm still not a very happy person. It's just that I have this strange belief that I'm honestly not...
    FancyTardis FancyTardis 13-15, F Jan 27

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    We call each other ugly ***, ******* and other names sometimes but we don't do it to insult each other, we just play. If you can't handle sarcasm or jokes then don't hangout with...
    ImAShopaholic ImAShopaholic 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    LACTOSE INTOLERANT. About those people who are lactose intolerant, isn't that another form of discrimination? ~
    TheOriginalRandyD TheOriginalRandyD 51-55, M Jan 25

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    There's always that one person that laughs way too hard at your jokes 😂😂 that's me
    strawberrymelons strawberrymelons 13-15, F Jan 25

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    I'm that one friend who always has a cheesy joke up their sleeve
    crimsoncube crimsoncube 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 25

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    Donald Trump potentially becoming president. That is both a joke and a riddle!
    RustySnapz RustySnapz 22-25, M 3 Responses Jan 25

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    I think nobody can replace Ledger! he's a legend and always will be. I know Leto is a great actor, but there is only one Joker. And that is Heath Ledger.. and there's only one...
    Tusharx17 Tusharx17 18-21, M Jan 25

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    Because I was raised in an environment where I was not good enough. Therefore it has carried into my adult life. Always trying to do & say the correct things. And if I make a...
    tiger3cub8 tiger3cub8 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 24

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    I am an idiot. I've been in a pretty stable ongoing relationship for a year and six months but recently the splendor and overal enjoyment of being with my partner has declined...
    IAmWhoIAmWhoAmI IAmWhoIAmWhoAmI 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    The pickel and the penis were talking the pickle said to the penis how would you like to.be me I get choped up dised up sliced up thrown on a sandwich and aten the penis said to...
    111Adamjoseph 111Adamjoseph 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 23