Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Like To Be Beat With A Spatula

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7 People

    I Love It

    I love it when people beat me with spatulas. It's my secret fetish and the sexiest thing in the world for me. My secret fantasy is waking up to a hot shirtless hunk who serves me breakfast in bed and then later beats me with the spatula he used to cook the meal. mmmmmm just...
    righteouschica righteouschica 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 21, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Dirty Spatula

    Well I must confess that I must reveal that there is a certain someone on EP who likes to be beat with not only a spatula, but a dirty one at that. By dirty, I don't mean your regular butter stained one from flipping a grilled cheese sandwich, but a down and dirty, egg flippin...
    privatelyanonymous privatelyanonymous 36-40, M 9 Responses Sep 29, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I love this heading, "I like Music With Meaning," but doesn't all music have meaning?!? Someone has initiative for their tones to be heard over [x] broadcast(s). All initial...
    Jrock91 Jrock91 22-25, M Feb 17

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 2 Responses Feb 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 3 Responses Feb 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    He's such a sweetheart, and answers my questions honestly...and I mean any question. He likes having conversations with me and me with him.
    BrokenCats BrokenCats 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Chris had just turned 16 had long hair, and look like Joe Dirt. He went to his dad and asked: "Dad it is my 16th birthday! I would like you to by me a car for my birthday.” So...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, "What will it be today?" Guy says, "well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Three Boy Scouts, in uniform, were fishing in a boat one day when they heard cries for help. They followed the sounds and found another boat capsized as a man struggled to keep his...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, "What will it be?" The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I like to be with people that have a good sense of humor. I do not like to hear or see people try to be standup comics. I think standup comics are just looking to get some...
    planter715 planter715 51-55, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Yeah. I also like small butts, so all you small butt ***** don't start coming at me with your small butt shaming propaganda!
    NoMasPivo NoMasPivo 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 2 Responses Feb 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Why do people not like to put information on their profile
    sexxydiva9 sexxydiva9 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I hate that. I never respond to messages from people with no profile picture. Why so secretive?
    Fierrrrce Fierrrrce 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I try to stand quite still while my 2 best mates work to design something new and pretty around me. If it is a hot summers evening I wear very little underneath the emerging...
    Lin79 Lin79 31-35, T Feb 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm not a perfect person There's many things I wish I didn't do But I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want...
    justalittlewallflower justalittlewallflower 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 3 Responses Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Girls with long hair have that added sexiness factor..not that girls without long hair dont. It just that theirs is shorter :P
    WinterSunShine WinterSunShine 18-21, M Feb 18

    Your Response

    Cancel
    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their P.J.'s, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 21

    Your Response

    Cancel
    "Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A brilliant magician was performing on an ocean liner. But every time he did a trick, a talking cat in the audience would scream, "It's a trick. It's not magic. You're a big phony...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A family was having dinner and the little boy said,"Dad I don't like the holes in the cheese!" Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of the plate.
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Pink 3" Hiking Wedges Black Leggings Black Sabbath T-shirt Fox Hunter Bowie Small Pink Backpack with Minimal Needs Then get lost in nature for a few days.
    JessicaMarie35 JessicaMarie35 31-35, T 3 Responses Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Early on I saw a girl so thin she could fly away with a fart daaaamn... eat some beaf yo!
    Bluerosered Bluerosered 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A man who was just about to be executed was asked whether he would like to have a last smoke. The man answered, "No thank you, I don't smoke. I don't want to get lung cancer."
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Bill, Hillary and Vice President Gore were on their way back to Washington on Air Force One, when Bill said " I'd like to drop a $100 bill out of the plane and make one person very...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Oh guys with beards!So hot.They have to be well taking care of,i think it's sexy:)
    1prettygirl 1prettygirl 36-40, F 15 Responses Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Because I wrote that I was polyamorous, I got a comment from someone wondering if I was into friends with benefits. Since my relationship is not a secret and the two boys in...
    standingfirm standingfirm 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When I was at school my end of year report read like a character assassination
    TeddyboyUK72 TeddyboyUK72 41-45, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Say down with mums cos when your wide awake they make you go to sleep and when your fast asleep they make you wake up lol
    TeddyboyUK72 TeddyboyUK72 41-45, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Well Christmas is the only time you can say to the wife n gf you have a bird on the table and your gonna stuff it with out them complaining lol
    TeddyboyUK72 TeddyboyUK72 41-45, M 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try, it takes some of the...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 4 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Invent Artificial Dogs The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 6 days ago