I Liked This Beause It Made Me Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 51 People

    Everyone climbs mount Everest

    for the challenge, its difficulty...... Why do they all go up the easiest side? - George Carlin
    bluegill80 bluegill80
    31-35, M
    Oct 19, 2015

    Seems that this old couple are having trouble

    remembering things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful and introduces them to a technique called word/name association. They come home and tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it. Some months later, a neighbor approaches the man as...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 10, 2014

    Don't Question a Drunk!

      WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK...  I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:  A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of bacon  As I was...
    cap1015 cap1015
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Jun 3, 2009
    softkitti softkitti
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jul 21, 2011

    Silly Qs And Witty As - Part 1 (Featuring Softkitti)

    LOL!   ...  Actually, it made me snort coffee this morning  (ooh, that was painful!). Here it is - a Q posed by a naive EP member and my friend Softkitti's acerbic response:Q: Should non-Americans be allowed to use EP? A: Posted by softkitti Jan 1st, 2011 at 10:30PM...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 3, 2011

    People say, "There are other fish in the sea.

    " I say, "**** you, she was my sea." J.Faulkner
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Oct 18, 2015

    Well It Is a Fine Explanation!

      A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION Karen came home early and found me in our bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your...
    cap1015 cap1015
    46-50, M
    4 Responses Jun 3, 2009

    Lets All Move to Hawaii to Work

       I was going through an old travel folder when I came upon this sticker, that is simply priceless, so I had to share.   We all need days like this!!!                  Hawaiian Kine...
    enjoythebeach enjoythebeach
    46-50, M
    4 Responses Jun 3, 2009

    Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new

    action movie about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarsenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a fan of Chopin,” said Bruce. “And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 10, 2014
    Kittychanel Kittychanel
    41-45, F
    Feb 15, 2013
    softkitti softkitti
    22-25, F
    9 Responses Dec 9, 2011

    A bad sign A man was driving to work

    when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. A Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had struggled so...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 11, 2014

    What A Drag

    Two drag queens were waking along a street in Sheffield, England ( I think), blond wigs, false busts and high heels. Without warning a couple of homophobic thugs jumped out to attack them. The whole incident was recorded on CCTV and fortuitously a police unit was only 50 yards...
    stevester stevester
    46-50, M
    Oct 9, 2009

    Roses are red Nuts are brown Skirts go up Pants

    go down Body to body Skin to skin When its stiff Stick it in The Longer its in The Stronger it gets It goes in dry And comes out wet It comes out dripping And starts to sag Its not what you think...... Its a Teabag
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 9, 2014
    softkitti softkitti
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jul 10, 2011

    Jesus Versus the Devil

          At the Pearly Gates God was amazed at all the new technology he saw down on Earth.  Infact even Jesus and the Devil were heavily involved in the computer technology themselves.  Seeing this, God challenged both of them to a contest. ...
    enjoythebeach enjoythebeach
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Jun 3, 2009
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