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I Live In a Loveless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 326 People

    I Wonder

    I was happily married for the past 10 years, but now my wife has reached a point where she hates me... there's no love from her side, physical relationship is completely absent... we're talking and behaving normally but there's no love and no intimacy... we're together only...
    Torak23 Torak23 36-40, M 2 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    Maybe Romantic Love Is Not For Me

    I have been married for 8 years. And it's been a sad and lonely union. Maybe it was a mistake to begin with because I got married because I got pregnant. I had my doubts then but I still push through thinking it was the right thing. To give my child a father. The first couple of...
    Alice1974 Alice1974 36-40 3 Responses Mar 5, 2013

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    Unfortunately It's True.

    I know this is true, because my wife told me the only reason she married me is because I was the only one who asked. I thought I loved her, or maybe I thought I could love her, or I thought I could make it work and that love would conquer all. But by her daily actions, words and...
    dangerously39 dangerously39 51-55, M 6 Responses May 16, 2012

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    Numb

    With every year my husband and I grow further apart. I wish I could pin point the moment in time when things fell apart. I can see we are headed for divorce, but I can't seem to turn things around. For the sake of our children I wish we could fix things, but the hurt runs so...
    WSWWNTS WSWWNTS 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 3, 2013

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    I have thought to start a blog

    for a while now; recording my course as I navigate through the middle years of my life. I am, in a word lonely, and writing is soothing balm for that which ails me. I do prefer pen and paper; the rough-hewn edges of my journal whose pages are filled with the longings of my soul...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 4 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    Not Sure How This Happened

    My husband and I met when he was 19 and I was 22.  We were young and fun and after dating for about 6 years, we got married.  We've been married now for 7 years and have a 4 year old daughter.  I thought things were pretty much okay, but I recently got a wake-up...
    HilG HilG 36-40, F 7 Responses Oct 17, 2010

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    Update - Monday's Drama (A Rant)

    Ok so last night my son and I got home from my moms around 8pm. Husband didn't say anything of course (we're still not speaking) Around 10 pm he comes into the living room where I'm trying to get my baby to fall asleep and says "give me your phone" i say no, i told you not to ask...
    KayLove12 KayLove12 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Unable To Get Out

    I have been married for over 20 years. After the first 5 years and a child later I new I made a mistake. I had already raised a child on my own so I told him when our child was 18 I wanted to go our seperate ways. He now has been unemployed for 4 years and I am suporting him. He...
    sallydale sallydale 56-60, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2012

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    It's About Time...

    Living in a loveless and sexless marriage had and end date. I want to thank everyone for the support I have gotten on this site. I have met some great people and some I will call friends for a long time. My days are now down to single digits. Move out date was delayed a few days...
    onmyway113 onmyway113 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 16, 2013

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    I Got Out. Now Facing First Kiss? :/

    Wow, I have not been on these boards in about 2 years. So much has happened. After 12 years I got out of my loveless marriage. It was 16 years by the time it was finalized. I'll admit it was scary leaving what you know, but I couldn't be happier. I moved 800 miles back to my home...
    Cassiopeia711 Cassiopeia711 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2013

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    Completely Wondering?

    I have been married for 11 years, in a marriage with no kids. I do care for him but the love has been gone a long time, we are more like roommates now than husband and wife or even lovers. When I try to hug him he won't hug me back and keeps his arms at his side. And can't even...
    mollysmom2 mollysmom2 41-45 4 Responses Feb 24, 2012

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    Heartbroken And Confused

    I'm 35, mother of four beautiful children, and married, to a man that I love and care for very much, but for some unknown reason after only almost 3 years of marriage my husband has no romantic interest in me. I have brought up his lack of affection and intimacy many times as...
    cfreed cfreed 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    Cannot believe I am writing this out

    as I have not spoken to ANYONE about this as I have to admit failure. I have been in my current relationship for 21 years now of those 13 are married. We have two beautiful children who would be crushed if one of us was not around. Everything has been crumbling now for the...
    teacher25 teacher25 41-45, F 1 Response May 30

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    Married 23 Years Loveless Marriage

    I'm discouraged.  I married my husband 23 years ago because he was sweet, kind, listened to my chatter and  loved me.  It was so simple.  He wanted children, I did not.   My childhood was dysfunctional and abusive, so I was afraid to have children.  When I finally, did...
    marie007 marie007 41-45 4 Responses Jun 5, 2011

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    Should I Stay Or Should I Go

    About 4 years ago I started paying attention to my surroundings and started questioning my current situation. I lacked interest in my wife as she was dedicated to being a full time mom and lost interest in taking care herself. She put on weight after the kids, and 10 years...
    Blueeyedboy70i Blueeyedboy70i 41-45, M 10 Responses May 9, 2013

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    I Always Thought Things Would Change

    I'm not gonna get into too many details about my situation because I feel like I should appreciate what I have instead of ******* and moaning to strangers about my pathetic, ego centric discontent. But I also know that ignoring these issues won't help. I am a 26-30 year old man...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 2, 2012

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    What was the point of marrying them?

    You only marry someone if you both love each other unconditionally not love them because they fit your needs or desires.
    sashakimi3 sashakimi3 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    I don't know how long I can bear staying in my

    marriage of over 20 years. My husband has no feelings what so ever. I have never seen this man cry in all of the years we've been married. If I cry he finds it amusing. I've gone many years holding in my feeling so that he will not judge me negatively. I'm disguised when...
    bint43 bint43 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 29

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    I have been married 10 years

    and with three beautiful children. I love my wife, but I'm the one who puts forth any effort to do anything with her. When our kids were infants she refused to have babysitters as she couldn't be away from them when I wanted to go out with her, but every day when I'd come home...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 8

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    Divorce Or Seperate?

    I live in a loveless, sexless marriage and have for several years. Our kids are off to college now and I'm ready for a change. I have tried in every way I know to wake him up to my needs and feelings and nothing has changed. When I told him I was leaving in 15 days he just says...
    onmyway113 onmyway113 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    Sexless Loveless Marriage With Two Children

    I was an outgoing person with lots of friends,very full of life , I met my husband after a 4 year breakup with my ex boyfriend, gave my husband a try . I got pregnant one year into dating him I had a stable job at the time for 8yrs prior..somehow my husband talked me into leaving...
    lonelyandsad119 lonelyandsad119 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 14, 2013

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    I Live In A Loveless Marriage

    I have been living in a loveless marriage for more than 9 years. Over that period I have cried buckets of tears and tried all I can just to survive. Although I have accepted the fact that my husband never really love me and our marriage is a complete failure, there are days that...
    Asian3774 Asian3774 36-40, F 4 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Marriage?

    I live in a loveless marriage.My husband(of 35 yrs) and I have no communication what so ever. He is a cold person who thinks only of himself. He grew up in a family where there was no affection shown between his parents and from my observations very little affection shown to the...
    missemboth missemboth 51-55, F 12 Responses Feb 5, 2009

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    Stuck

    I fell in love almost instantly with dave, we spent everyday together then he broke my heart by saying things aren't working out. After we spilt, I fell pregnant and dave did what any decent man would do and said he wanted to get back together and raise the baby as a family...
    Jessiegirl3 Jessiegirl3 26-30 2 Responses Dec 7, 2012

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    I Don't Know What to Do

    I'm 58. I've been married 34 years. Two kids in college. I had a stroke about 10 years ago that pretty much ended a good career. When I started working again, several of the companies that I went with folded (not my fault, I swear), and I was back job hunting again. I finally...
    hasstings hasstings 56-60 1 Response Jun 17, 2009

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    Anger

    I don't know when it happened but I'm not in love with my wife. For the last 2 years I was "seeing" someone else. I didn't think or feel it was cheating because I no longer want to be married. Well the "other" woman had enough of my inaction and has broken it off. I'm 100x more...
    Feb 16, 2013

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    The "one That Got Away"......again?

    So I'm 31, 2 kids, and have been married for nearly 10 years. The last 3 have been rather rocky and the love is mostly gone. We still live together for the kid's sake, and for the most part we get along as well as we always did, it's just "roommate" status more or less these days...
    Texasgasman Texasgasman 31-35 1 Response Jun 18, 2012

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    You Know There Is A Problem When

    I can't believe I'm in my bed alone again, while he is downstairs snoring on the couch. Googling "what to do when you are stuck in a loveless marriage" is a new one. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I think I'd feel less lonely if I was alone! I am to young (31) to...
    2 Responses Feb 12, 2013

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    I Just Want To "Live" Again

    I fall in love too easily. I have a son whom I can no longer see now, he's with his father (it's another long story). I had him when I was still in college. I tried getting back on my feet; I graduated, got myself a decent job, I basically tried my best to live normally again...
    tastypod tastypod 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 5, 2013

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    Today I told him he would have to chose our

    family or his drug. He reply to me you can go and your no longer my wife. After 14 year of standing by him wrong or right I didn't think anything else you did could hurt me... Yet my heart is so broken right now.
    billiegirl23 billiegirl23 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    I Feel So Defeated....

    My marriage is absolutely loveless. We married after dating for less than a year. I really loved this man. I gave 110% of myself. I did everything he wanted, I cooked, cleaned and took care of his 2 children just as I did my own. I pleasure him sexually in every way imaginable...
    tlht tlht 31-35, F 6 Responses Dec 10, 2011

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    Trapped In A Loveless Marriage

    It hasn't always been this way, because I remember being happy in the first years of our marriage. I think things began to first change when my husband and I relocated due to his non-professional career. Back then I had no problem with moving to another city, because it wasn't...
    Sara600 Sara600 56-60, F 1 Response Jul 13, 2011

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    Something inside of me has snapped.

    I can't take living in false hope, I can't take feeling pathetic in anticipation of crumbs of affection or intimacy. I'm tired waiting /hoping for her to show interest in sex. I'm drained drained drained. There are only so many times I can feel this rejection. Tired of being...
    piscean1965 piscean1965 46-50, M 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    Things Can Change...

    I joined this site thinking it was only a matter of time before I found a release from my loneliness and pain. I lived in a loveless marriage or should I say with a "robot". Five years of marriage and I felt completely alone...I reached out to others to help fill this emptiness...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 3, 2011

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    Adhd Husband

    My lovely husband has adult ADHD and refuses to get help besides take the meds that just make him feel like he used to when he abused certain drugs in his twenties. I have wasted over 22 years with this man. If any of you know anything about ADHD, you know that once you marry...
    gianna25 gianna25 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 1, 2013

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    Simple Fact

     I’m coming to grips with a plain old fact.  I’m trying hard to suspend judgement and blame – at least not focusing on those thoughts to keep my head clear.  That plain old fact is this – I am suffering on all levels because of this...
    juan1966 juan1966 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 17, 2010

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    How Did We End Up In A Loveless Relationship?

    I've been married to possibly a workaholic, but at least an indifferent spouse for many years.  I more accurately perceive my spouse as lacking the ability to be intimate emotionally and therefore, physically.  My story is the same as all those I've read over the...
    mydiversion mydiversion 51-55, M 6 Responses Sep 23, 2010

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    I am dealing with the same thing.

    let me start by saying i have been with my husband for 21 years married for 9. We have 4 kids age 20-13. There has always been something more important than his family. It started when i was pregnant for our 3rd child, he started using drugs and partying never coming home...
    doglover1977 doglover1977 36-40, F 5 Responses Mar 27

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    Our Marriage Is A Mockery ....

    All i need is someone to Love me... All i want is to be loved .... Made Love too .... But its not happening.... its been 19th months .... since we wed ....... Your not helping yourself.... Its neglect .. emotional.. Physical..... mental ...... abuse... You have had...
    rosesweet rosesweet 56-60, F Jul 2, 2013

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    My Partner Seems To Be Emotionless!!!!!!!!

    I'm finding it harder and harder to be with this man, who seems to have no emotions!! Aside from anger from time to time. There is no feeling or compassion that comes from him at all. It's like trying to scuba dive without an air tank on your back. Being with someone who never...
    jimbie jimbie 36-40, F 9 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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    Help Me Please, Loveless Sexless Marriage Of Convenience?

    I feel like I am in prison. I stay because I am disabled and can not collect Disability or any help at all I need my Husbands health insurance (and he knows it) as I have many medical issues. I can't work anymore. We are like roommates who sleep in separate ends of the house and...
    fidget007 fidget007 51-55, F 3 Responses Jul 4, 2013

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    This year has been one hell of a year already.

    After 7 years of being married, I decided that I just couldn't handle anymore of it. For the last 5 years, I have overanalyzed every move I have ever made, trying to figure out what was wrong with my marriage. Did I complain too much? Did I not appreciate him enough? Was there...
    AloneandWantingOut AloneandWantingOut 26-30, F Sep 11

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    Parenting Partnership

    This may be a wacky idea and I may erase this in a bit but I am wondering if anybody thinks this is doable. My husband and I argue a lot. I know we've gone through trying to improve things for YEARS. The extra 100 pounds he's gained over the last 5 years (in addition to the 50 he...
    tbw1972 tbw1972 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 15, 2011

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    I Still Love My Husband Of 14 Years, But He Doesn'T Love Me

    My heartaches all the time. We have two wonderful funny children and have been married for 14 years. Both of us are Catholic and I mean rosary praying, Church going, both kids in Catholic school, Knights of C. member Catholic. I feel like my world is falling apart. He wants to...
    Trying2BagoodCatholic Trying2BagoodCatholic 46-50, F 8 Responses May 12, 2013

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    The thing I miss the most is emotional intimacy.

    I have never had that with my wife. I don’t know if it was ever possible. Ten years in now and I am dying on the inside. I wound up in the ER today because I thought I was having stroke. It was just anxiety. Why do I exist? It’s ironic before I got married I loved my life...
    ProgressNotPerfection ProgressNotPerfection 41-45, M 5 Responses Mar 8

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    I Pay For All The Bills In Relationship And Get Nothing Back

    I have always paid the bills in our relationship as I get paid monthly and my partner weekly, however he wastes his money earnt and I've even struggled to get to work in the week becasue there is no money for me to travel. Recently I said I wanted to make sure I got what was owed...
    lottyfran lottyfran 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 4, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I know this is very sad to say but I don't believe in true love or marriages anymore. It is because of the kind of marriage I'm in currently. I used to think when I get married it...
    michellegh michellegh 36-40, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am so frustrated at my husband. He really is very lazy at making things work between us. No matter how many times I explain to him, he just chooses to take certain things for...
    Nathee Nathee 31-35, F 19 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    But sohhh many dont. Its creating tears. Divorce caused it. And arranged marriages. And religions. Even great bisexuals wreck it. For tax breaks. Not found in...
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M 9 hrs ago

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    So I am wondering if the sexless marriage folks in MN would like to get together sometime? I'd be willing to organize an event somewhere. We would need to set up ground rules to...
    rangerrick1958 rangerrick1958 56-60, M 2 Responses 49 mins ago

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    So after my episode the other day, where H got upset because I had left him alone drinking his tea while I went upstairs, I decided to write him a letter. I gave it to him the...
    2BlossomBlue 2BlossomBlue 51-55, F 4 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Are these types of people happiest when they are miserable? I know that doesn't make sense. But nothing makes sense anymore! Why is it they look for a reason or an excuse to be...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 3 Responses 37 mins ago

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    Solitairediamond posted a phrase basically saying doing things out of duty depletes you, while doing them out of love energizes you. While I agree to an extent with her thoughts...