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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,435 People

    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    It's a strange thing .

    ...... Facebook, that is. Liars are always found out in the end.
    Steviepro Steviepro 46-50, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 183 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Does anyone else find

    that self-love just reminds you more of what's missing from your life?
    scrimshaw scrimshaw 46-50, M 14 Responses 2 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    earthlingcc11 earthlingcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 23 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 163 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    Two years post divorce

    after a 34-year marriage, the last 8 years of which (and many others including 5 consecutive years) were completely sexless. Here are some reflections about my life. In the divorce settlement, I got the house we had lived in for 21 years. Unfortunately, due to my husband's...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    I propose an ILIASM nunnery.

    We can enjoy each other's company, support each other. This is not a prudish nunnery so one night "indiscretions" are allowed. One might say even encouraged. But any expectations for a relationship beyond that lead to disappointment, so these thoughts are not encouraged...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 13 Responses 5 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 553 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    I live in a sexless marriage.

    We have sex approximately 4 times a year, I call it quarterly sex. This is intolerable and I'd leave except I have 4 young kids. Worse than the lack of sex is her aversion to any sort of human touch. No hugs, no kisses, no goodbyes, no welcome home and only one I love you in...
    Naghtybitz Naghtybitz 41-45, M 15 Responses 3 days ago

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    I hope this advice-seeker finds I Live in a

    Sexless Marriage.... "DEAR ABBY: The wedding night I had dreamed about forever was supposed to be the most romantic and amazing of my life with the one person I can't live without. Instead, it was the most humiliating experience I have ever had. I dressed in a beautiful...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    yousentmeflying yousentmeflying 22-25, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 63 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Figuring it out The story

    so far: - my wife's libido is lower than mine - she can enjoy sex once every X days - I am ok with taking care of myself for those X days after we make love - I try to pull my own weight around the house without making a big deal of it The current challenge: after those X days...
    bspoke bspoke 46-50, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    So your partner has stopped being interested in

    you. Do you see that in other facets of their lives, they stop trying, settle. When you go out they don't care about their appearance, weight, health, dare I say cleanliness. Jumping into a consuming hobbies, distractions etc. To me that would explain a lot. Personally my wife...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 51-55, M 22 Responses 1 day ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    I'm a strong & confident woman.

    I understand & embrace my sexuality. I'm open minded, curious & explorative about new sexual experiences. I'm upfront about my needs & desires. I'm easy to engage with new sexual concepts. I'm encouraging of other people's fantasies. I'm vocal about my thoughts. But my wife...
    Curiousmissy Curiousmissy 31-35, F 9 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I was on this site previously,

    but deleted my account. I lived in a sexless marriage for about 15 years. This April, I left my wife. The ultimate cause for my leaving was the fact that she is NPD (Google that). Really, though if you are living in a sexless marriage, there is a reason for it. Generally, I...
    GrayDogGuy GrayDogGuy 46-50, M 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Update: First Court Appearance Restless

    sleep Nauseated Nervous tummy Multiple bathroom trips Dressy attire Ridiculously early Pacing, texting, sweating Lorazepam Minimal crying Kick-*** lawyer Deadbeat respondent Equally despicable representation Lies, delays, withholding of information Financially frozen More...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 7 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 48 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    061462j 061462j 51-55, F 31 Responses 1 day ago

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    HonestSid HonestSid 41-45, M 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    I've had sex With a few guys

    who are in sexless marriage and I love it!!!!! It's such a turn on having sex with guys your not supposed too;)
    lovestobefucked lovestobefucked 18-21, F 14 Responses 2 days ago

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    Hey any fun busty ladies wanna chat message me

    if that's you x UK based even better
    ilovebustyfemales ilovebustyfemales 41-45, M 2 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 296 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 231 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 71 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    September has arrived.

    I plan to tell my husband this month that I want a divorce. Originally I planned to stay married another 4 years to pay off our debts and make a clean break. I changed my mind, I'm getting out. I met with an attorney and figured out a way that I will be able to support...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 51 Responses 4 days ago

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    Been married since 1975.

    ..she was 19, I was 21...we have 3 grown children, 5 grandchildren..we've built a comfortable life together....but the attraction is gone, due to several factors...mental abuse, neglect, selfishness...as well as many other factors that will destroy any relationship...all...
    guitarman493 guitarman493 61-65, M 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have backslid significantly in the last two

    weeks. In the last month I have had sex with my husband as many times as I usually have in a year. Not for anything more than opportunity or demanding it on my part, just being honest. My quarter was up and it was a doozy. Nothing has changed otherwise. I have gained more...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 16 Responses 4 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    Sorting through my files tonight - trying to

    get the 2-drawer little cabinet ready to move to my apartment. This drawer has a folder called "stories" which does include my own poetry as well as just "helpful tidbits" and so this one is not from me obviously, but I did think it was an appropriate reflection of some stuff I...
    GrantGeek GrantGeek 46-50, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    I've been away for a while,

    it appears. I suspect that success stories in ILIASM forums are rare for two reasons: 1. Anyone who has one leaves and doesn't look back 2. There aren't many of them in the first place Back in March we seemed to have something of a breakthrough in my own SM and it seemed that...
    Consensus Consensus 31-35 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore