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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,922 People

    Ramblings from a restless mind- I was

    thinking about why some leave their misery and others stay. I partially remembered a quote and went on a search for it. I found it, by Thoreau from "Walden". "I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live...
    Jim44444 Jim44444 61-65, M 19 Responses 5 days ago

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    stumbled upon this

    tonight: http://asexstarvedwife.tumblr.com/post/81644838669/this-is-how-you-lose-her-you-lose-her-when-you
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Celebration Since leaving my sexless marriage I

    have been on the most incredible journey of self discovery. The posts Neeia has posted recently have really triggered a great deal of emotion. She asks why when a relationship fails do we always look for how we are to blame? Recently I dated a man who told me I was broken...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 24, 2015

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 152 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 41 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 550 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 435 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 47 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Lobsters http://youtu.

    be/3aDXM5H-Fuw
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Divorce and people around me We're divorcing.

    It's now known in all our circles of friends. My friends and my family are supportive, very. I don't spend time talking badly about my soon to be ex husband, as the anger, frustration, shame has gone. I've told who needs to know, who I wanted to know about the nature of my...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 21 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Butterfly. A week from today,

    it's good old Saint V again. To all those who will spend the next Sunday alone, again, I have just the right movie for you. Here's a brief synopsis by Moi, those who want to watch the movie completely unspoiled, skip through to the link at the end of the story... Thank me...
    neeia neeia 41-45, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Another big step today - I sat down with my STBX

    and we worked out a plan for a settlement. It has been a rough road to get to this point. Last week I received his first offer of a settlement through my lawyer. I cried for most of the next two days. It was much, much less than I had expected and sent me into a tail spin...
    mountainrunner mountainrunner 51-55, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 294 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    I was in a double bind.

    I couldn't bring up the topic of sex while I was with her, because I knew she'd go on the offensive. Either that, or she'd make me crazy telling me that I was just imagining things. I didn't even feel safe talking about it when we were in couple's counseling. I couldn't...
    BinaryBill BinaryBill 61-65, M 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Hello everyone. Well I too am in the sexless

    marriage. We have grown so far apart I swear it's like living with a stranger. 90% of the time he's in one room I'm in another. Rarely do we have sex. I know he's cheated because I have caught him red handed. We worked through if but now I suspect he's cheating again. He's...
    countrymama1992 countrymama1992 36-40, F 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 74 Responses Feb 9, 2015

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 41-45, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 181 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 101 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    After the blow up last weekend,

    and several days of avoidance, this morning he acts like nothing ever happened. The standard fair, really. Fly under the radar of the irrational, demanding wife, and things will go back to normal. Proceed with usual charm and disillusion. Except I have my first appointment...
    MissInhard MissInhard 41-45, F 13 Responses 4 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Feeling super lonely

    and needy lately. H wants to get close, but I can't. I may not be in love with him but I do love him. So why is it so hard to just hold his hand or hug him every now and then? It's like the tables have turned.. He wants to get back into my personal space in the hopes that a...
    1Life2Live2015 1Life2Live2015 36-40, F 18 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 60 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    I'm bored with s*xting.

    The women on the other end seem to love my erotica, but for me, nothing compares to flesh upon flesh. I can download pics from the Internet. Sorry--I'm feeling lonely and cranky. :)
    FineGrind FineGrind 56-60 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 26 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Not completely sexless

    but definitely have slowed way way way down. Still love my wife and she's my best friend but I have thought about seeking sex elsewhere...
    dezainah dezainah 46-50, M 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Regarding Divorce My brain is a mushy

    disorganised mess. I can't concentrate, I'm easily distracted. My mind wanders. I'm finding it hard to function at an any way near productive level. I've missed an important deadline. I believe this to be normal. My therapist and Family Doctor say it will pass. But does it...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 12 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    Valentine's Day is coming,

    and if you're dreading it, then take action now to give yourself the happiest day possible. If you are married to a refuser, admit that there is nothing you can do to make your spouse love you or act toward you the way you want. Presumably, since you are married, what you...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    No more STBX Well it's official I am a single

    lady today. I went down to the courthouse by myself just like everything else I usually do. I appeared in front of of judge with my attorney my H waived his right to answer which was a good thing. I'm finally free and at peace from being under the same roof as him but being...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 39 Responses Jan 20

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    Quitter My husband after seeing

    that I filed for divorce with the clerk of courts and it became real, called me a quitter. He said I always quit everything. I know that this is not true after being married to a man for almost 23 years and trying and hoping he would change. Eventually I did give up, "quit...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 53 Responses Nov 20, 2015

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    Is there anyone who ever hear this?

    Do you even bother to respond or do you feel as if you are crazy for expecting it? "You are responsible for your own happiness" - said when he forgot birthday/anniversary or didn't do anything to make the day special. "According to you, everything is my fault" or "Yes, use...
    lbncb lbncb 41-45 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 46-50, F 12 Responses 4 days ago

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    For those who got out.

    .. do you ever wish you would have done counseling before getting divorced? when I divorced, I didn't really get answers, or closure. I played nice in order to get a quick divorce from him. he did want counseling but I refused. I sorta realize why he married me, but sometimes I...
    TinyMouse TinyMouse 26-30, F 18 Responses 4 days ago

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    Maybe not fully sexless,

    but definitely need more. Husband is away for work for days sometimes. And when he is home, he always seems tired. Maybe I have a higher sex drive. But I feel like something is wrong with me also. Like I never feel satisfied anymore. I am always fantasizing and thinking. I do...
    sandrawilde sandrawilde 22-25, F 13 Responses 5 days ago

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    Pandas (I am on an animal kick) Okay.

    Okay, little black and white cuddly bears. We get it. You are adorbs. You are also - lazy as ****. This is why you are going extinct. Why are we "why" chasing pandas? http://lightyears.blogs.cnn.com/2012/04/04/why-panda-sex-is-so-complex/
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 35 Responses Mar 31, 2015

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    Feeling impatient. Today I want to move on

    and have a real relationship again. I'm expecting fear / nervousness / doubt again soon....,
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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