Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
This experience may contain mature content, as flagged by the community.
Please click away if you do not want to see this content.
To report inappropriate content, please email us.

I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,303 People

    I am sure to have a different outlook on this

    subject. I am in a sexless marriage and actually fine with it. At the risk of sounding like a true *******, I will be up front and honest by saying the sex got stale long ago anyway. After my wife had a hysterectomy a few years ago, penetration became extremely paiful for her...
    versvice versvice 41-45, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 58 Responses May 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    sunnysokhal sunnysokhal 26-30, M 9 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    well its been a while

    since ive been on here. i have some good news. ive grown since my last post was finaly able to get a job. still in the same sexless marriage though. but i have someone looking into his sketchy behaviors. ive started drift from him myself. i no longer even try to touch him, i...
    tristaspuella tristaspuella 26-30, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Zzzzya Zzzzya 46-50, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    SexlessMESS. . The story posted by

    xglittergoddessx has me in a fix today. . 18 years ago I *chose* to marry a man, even though I *knew* he wasn't right for me. . But I had made a *commitment.* And that held all the power. . I had committed... - to a sexless marriage; - to deadend conversations about our...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 11 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi I have a high sex drive

    and my wife is always tired She works night shift as a nurse Last week I slept with her mom Should I feel guilty ?
    hasha743 hasha743 26-30, M 13 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I stumbled upon this article

    and want to know your thoughts. http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2013/01/understanding-men-5-insights-on-men-to-ease-your-worries/
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria 36-40 7 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Another great article about

    why marriages succeed or fail: http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I had an ex 10 years ago,

    and we weren't the most lovey dovey perfect couple. I met up with her every weekend or so, and frankly, -I'll admit- I wasn't too into her. But my ex, on the other hand, was completely obsessed with me. Obsessed. I mean, I used to love her very much. She had the most tiny...
    ymmas777 ymmas777 22-25, M 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'd like to thank this group.

    .. I left my sexless marriage earlier this year after 2 years of marriage (6 year relationship), we had sex 5 times during our marriage. I don't know what made me decide to marry him as our relationship had been sexless for a while. I suppose I stifled my wants and needs and due...
    Flugabelle Flugabelle 26-30, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 184 Responses Nov 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Alright.. we've been together

    for over 6 years and married for a year and a half. Of course just like everyone else our relationship was real good at first had sex before work and evsry night. Now maybe once a month. This all happened right after we had our daughter. I work my *** off pay the bills make good...
    Country87 Country87 26-30, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't think my wife fancies me at all

    and I think she settled for me because I'm dependable and settle down material. Does anyone else have this kind of relationship?
    stuographer stuographer 36-40, M 11 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The more I get settled into my new life,

    the more the point is driven home that my life has changed drastically in the last year. I have just this summer moved out, but the transformation started long before and really accelerated in the last year. Feelings bubble to the surface some days, like today. I feel naked...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 10 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 232 Responses Apr 2, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Status Update (this is long) Nearly 9 months

    into my wife and I both being on Wellbutrin and the marriage is still progressing. Sure, there are still some unresolved issues I am dealing with and chasing of the "whys" but even those are starting to become less important. The good news is, we continue to engage intimately...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 5 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    sunnysokhal sunnysokhal 26-30, M 10 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 52 Responses Sep 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 165 Responses Jul 22, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last night at dinner my wife accused me of

    flirting with the waitress because I asked her to tell the manager to start carrying my beer again. Wife got irritated at the waitress because she never asked if wife wanted a refill on her beer. I offered to call the waitress over and wife refused. Her and my idea of flirting...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    http://www.justiceschanfarber.

    com/marriage-why-women-leave-cheat/
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 23 Responses Feb 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Another massive argument/slanging match.

    This time he's the victor and I'm licking my wounds. I keep hearing in my head.... "This IS all you fault, you brought this on. This your fault, you are to blame". Again and again. Its like my self concious has abandoned me too. Its like its easier to blame myself.....I must...
    lass1 lass1 41-45, F 17 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just came across an article callex "Sexual

    Desire Descrepancy" that I think might be helpful to some of you. Here's the link: http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/7/23/he-says-i-dont-want-it-enough-i-think-he-wants-it-too-much-dealing-with-a-sexual-desire-discrepancy
    SoftWillie SoftWillie 61-65, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't had sex in over 4 years.

    My wife is uninterested in sex. I am kinky but I play it super vanilla for her and that doesn't even work. I've tried it all. She says she could live with or without sex, it's just not a big deal. often she says it's to much work. uhhg
    xjayx00 xjayx00 36-40, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 64 Responses Jan 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dream I hardly ever remember my dreams

    and when I do I swear they could be an action movie. Well last night I woke up from a dream that was very calm and clear. I dreamt that my husband and I were walking and talking about how things aren't going very well and then he served me with divorce papers. We were both...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 10 Responses 13 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Here is an update to my situation.

    My official separation date was March 16, 2015. My divorce filed on July 9, 2015. I was served the papers today on July 30, 2015. The papers were a load of ambiguous bullsh!t. Barely enough to get the court to file them. I still hate my SBTX. She is still a lazy cvnt. That...
    NHotH2O NHotH2O 46-50, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 48 Responses Sep 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why is it that so many of us struggle with

    making decisions around, and talking about, The Hard Stuff? . Before telling my STBX (do you know how long I have waited to use that acronym?????) that we are separating, I had so much anxiety over being the bad guy. You know, the one who has to say the words, "This marriage is...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 197 Responses Aug 31, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is there anyone else out there

    who has a really good relationship with their partner but the only thing missing is sex? I'm really interested to talk with others who are in this position. It seems like in almost every post I read, the lack of sex goes along with a host of other things that are going wrong...
    unquotequote unquotequote 36-40, M 28 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I recently found out my husband is cheating.

    He went to Bali to meet someone he met online. My son confronted him few months while he Skyped her. He explained to my son that he is having some problem with me. Son was very distraught & need to confide. He told his friends upon advice of kids helpline. I suspected as we had...
    cpep8 cpep8 51-55, F 29 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response