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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 48,969 People

    I'm spending what I hope will be the last

    holiday in my marital home. He decided it would be a good idea to invite some of his family members for dinner. As per usual, I was informed of this last minute, late last night. I've been searching for an affordable apartment the last month or so, and in preparation, I've...
    Insearchofmenow Insearchofmenow 31-35 34 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I'm sick of reading that wedding vows doesn't

    mean we can expect to have sex, but it does mean that we can't have sex with others. I promised to be faithful to a partner, not to give up sex. For that matter, I didn't promise to work and she expressly agrees to stay with me through “richer and poorer." But that doesn't...
    jkl1138 jkl1138 41-45, M 9 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I live in a sexless marriage

    and its a really lonely place. What makes it worse is that I love my wife and my family, they are the most important aspect of my life and I don't see I would ever do anything to put that at risk, and yet despite many years of extremely intermittent intimacy with my wife and...
    leprechaun123 leprechaun123 46-50, M 5 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    My STBX and I just had a break thru.

    He said, "how can I have sex with you when I'm angry 24/7 365 days a year." That anger turns into resentment which turns into contempt and it's called abusive anger. That's why he's treated me like a piece of ****. He's used his anger as a tool to feel powerful and control...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    it must be 2 years since we had sex don't know

    why she just dosent want it anymore I love her to bits but have got needs . just a cuddle would do any offers lol
    wellermarriott wellermarriott 41-45, M 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 51 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Mrbeach99 Mrbeach99 36-40, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Just A Shout Out

    I just want to say a big hello to my soon-to-be ex-husband Jay  He has taken up reading every single post of mine on here.  Beside the fact that he really needs to get a life, I wanted to welcome him.  Maybe reading a little truth and honesty would be a nice...
    k145712 k145712 36-40, F 60 Responses Mar 3, 2010

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    I guess the therapist my h has been seeing

    for his painkiller addiction issues told him to ask me to come to the next appointment. Can't wait to see how this goes. Unfortunately it's another 2 weeks from now. He said they talked about our relationship and how "mean" I am to him. I'm so mean! You know...so mean that I...
    asterinight asterinight 31-35, F 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    I worry so much about my youngest son.

    He's the one who is most like me, who is the most giving, loving person you will ever meet. When I say he's the most like me, I mean he will give too much of himself, to the point of being used and abused. I am watching him falling in love with this young woman. She's beautiful...
    Harley53 Harley53 56-60, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Consequences Of 'enduring'.

    I'm posting this story here even though I no longer live in a sexless relationship, because if you are currently in one, now is the time to think about what is happening to you. Your experience will not be exactly the same as mine, but I think it's likely you are going through...
    hrts hrts 41-45, F 37 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

    My weekend started with fighting last night which carried over to this morning. I hope these next 4 days go by fast.
    Luckymomof2boys Luckymomof2boys 31-35, F 14 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 187 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 42 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 75 Responses Feb 3

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    I had bragged to everyone

    that we would join H's ex-wife's family at her house today for Thanksgiving dinner, but H has determined that it would not be fair to his ex-wife's new husband (it probably wouldn't). I was so proud of how well we get along with his first wife and her family. We will likely have...
    Harley53 Harley53 56-60, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    I was kind of relieved.

    ..maybe I shouldn't say relieved but shocked last night when I came across this site and read other men are experiencing the same thing as I am. I am going to try my best to explain the situation. Anyways, I'm a 37 y/o married man who's been with the same woman for 14 years but...
    common76 common76 36-40, M 8 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    What A Difference 2 Years Can Make

    I arrived at EP 2 years ago today. And if you told me then, that in 2 years, I would be an entirely different person, in an entirely different place, mentally, physically,spiritually, sexually.....I would have said your nuts..You haven't a clue about anything, and obviously you...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 37 Responses Oct 15, 2012

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Basic Mismatch

    I see lots of stories lately from people who are new and hopeful there will be a solution here they haven't thought of yet. They come here, post a story and get some feedback.  Then they go about trying to fix the marriage.  They read the same stories we've read and the same...
    Changewilldoyougood Changewilldoyougood 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    Did you know anger is a contributing factor the

    depressive illness in the other spouse?
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I got married... We haven't had sex

    since our wedding night. Together for six years, married since August. We've always had very little sex. Once we went 6 months without, when I decided to test out how long he would go before making a move. I eventually gave up. I felt so lonely and unloved that I came up with...
    cheers1 cheers1 26-30, F 8 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    This might be an interesting essay to read by

    women who are considering divorcing their refusers who have Aspergers. " I vowed to try harder, to move forward, to keep loving, to focus everything I had (and then some) on fixing whatever was broken and ignoring the rest, even at the expense of self. Even after my husband’s...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 52 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    I was lonelier at home with my refuser ex

    husband than I was when home alone after divorcing.
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 5 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I finally decided on a temporary place to live

    and try to save money again. It's not great but 3-6 months will go fast. I hope. My plan is to tell him the day after thanksgiving. I know it seems harsh but there is never a good time. Ever. It's a long weekend. I won't have to pay him the $550 towards the mortgage. Our 6 yr...
    Lackoflust Lackoflust 31-35, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 198 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    czzinc czzinc 36-40, M 28 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Sitting home on the first holiday alone in

    years. Separated. For almost a year i have been trying to figure out what went wrong and have tried to fix it. no luck. so i guess i will try to make the most of this holiday. alcohol is in! anyone want to chat or skype? anyone else been in this same situation?
    Souldiscover Souldiscover 26-30, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 440 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 554 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Any women that live in a sexless marriage want

    to chat with a hung and horny 24 year old message me.
    zackthebull zackthebull 22-25, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Scarlett O'Hara - the Refuser: Scarlett decides

    after having her daughter that she doesn't want to get fat anymore (and still loves the one she cannot have). She tells Rhett she doesn't want what is implied as "relations" with her husband. She shuts him out, she is the refuser. I will give her this - she is honest from the...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 276 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    I am posting here again,

    partly to put some thoughts down on virtual paper and partly to see what others think. Comments and suggestions are very welcome. We have had sex exactly once in November. Before that, we had sex a few times in August. Before that was May. My 22 year old daughter dropped...
    Yachtdiver Yachtdiver 46-50, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 64 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    How To Handle A Sexless Marriage? Have Sex.

    I am horrified by the recent increase in trollish, drive-by advice, telling ILIASMers that the solution to all their problems lie in having sex, outsourcing, going on a spree, investing in sex toys, or some other idiotic ideas like that. The people or bots giving this advice...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 31 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 40 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I have a friend who is also in a sexless

    marriage. One day she came to me with this same problem. Her refuser/husband had an account on POF. He gave the same lame excuses as your husband gave you. I told her to write him a detailed letter telling him how finding out he had an account on POF made her feel. I told her to...
    SEXLESSINRI SEXLESSINRI 26-30 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Fiddleswtit Fiddleswtit 46-50, M 2 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    Well, the waiting may be over.

    I was denied permission to leave the house to lend a propane cheater hose to a friend and I lost it. I've become the prisoner I never thought I'd become. She has low self esteem and spends her time in front of the tv or in (her) room face booking no hobbies or ambition to help...
    Fiddleswtit Fiddleswtit 46-50, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 237 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    geronimooo geronimooo 36-40, M 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Why Repairing A Sexless Marriage Is So Impossible....

    Here in our group, we often get criticized for being too negative, too willing to leave the marriage, and too unwilling to try and repair the marriage. I want to explain to new members why, all the group here is really doing, is just being honest. I want to try and explain why...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 79 Responses Nov 20, 2011

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    She keeps saying that she is interested

    and wants it too. When we have the time or opportunity she isn't in the mood, or just not interested aft that time. I wonder if she ever really is. I have tried talking to her about it but nothing she says she wants toy change but doesn't seem to want it to change. maybe I...
    Fotoman Fotoman 46-50, M 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 301 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    I spent Thanksgiving alone today

    after work. The x got the kids. It was strange and lonely. Hopefully someday I will meet someone who wants to have sex with me and spend the holidays with me. Someone who wants a family with me. But--I already have kids so it will never happen for me. It is very lonely being...
    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 41-45, F 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    It's an oldie, but how many of us feel like

    Freda? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZCIKjYDf1g
    Consensus Consensus 31-35 1 Response 7 hrs ago