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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,969 People

    I admit my role. We have each had times

    as refusers. We usually got out of it before a death spiral started. I'm not sure this time. I need some counselor (maybe more than one even - me, us may need different guides)...but here's where I need some advice.,, My only experience of counseling is very square - how do I...
    GrantGeek GrantGeek 46-50, F 10 Responses 6 days ago

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    I came across this commentary this morning by

    the CEO of Ashley Madison. Even though it may not apply - it's a nice read none the less. http://www.cnbc.com/id/102715169
    actionjake actionjake 56-60, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    As I'm laying here in bed,

    shades drawn, tears flowing and a profound pain in my heart..... I watched my 'angel' drive off to college an hour ago. I'm proud to say, she's a 4.0 student, top 4% of her class and an over achiever in everything she puts her mind too. She has won multiple scholarships due to...
    LEXUS46 LEXUS46 46-50, F 27 Responses 4 days ago

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    UPDATE: I've decided not to initiate sex

    anymore, meaning the once a month 60 secs sex is not going to happen anymore. Found myself a job, and I am happy with my life at the moment, my husband is a good "house mate" I don't have to worry about pregnancy at all, cos we don't have sex, How do i take care of myself...
    Alexandra0210 Alexandra0210 22-25, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Blogs here will soon die.

    .. :( Don't forget to save them somewhere! On June 21st, EP will be discontinuing Blogs due to ongoing maintenance issues. Please export your blog content by clicking here.
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Hi there! I’m a lesbian who’s happily

    married to her best friend. September will mark 4 years since we’ve had any physical intimacy. Ours has been a completely celibate/platonic marriage. She says it’s due to menopause. It’s so difficult. I love her so much. I love the life we have. Our marriage is a good one...
    oldtruckgirl oldtruckgirl 31-35, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    I know what I am doing We watched an episode

    that was hard for even me to watch. It was an episode of Outlander. I do so love that show. This is more than hard for me to say, and I am sorry about the subsequent SPOILER as well as the review - please bear with me, this is a bit of a long story: My husband and I watch...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Sigh this group is depressing.

    I hope all of you find what you're seeking. I'm not married but I hope i never get to this point. Don't know what i'd do if im married and can't have sex with my wife!
    RastaGotSoul RastaGotSoul 22-25, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Interesting article about how the viewpoint

    and purpose for marriage has changed in the last 30 years. A lot of us fall into this time period of change. http://hiit-blog.dailyhiit.com/hiit-life/serial-monogamy-new-marriage/
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 74 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    ‘Viagra for Women’ Gets Push

    for F.D.A. Approval "Is sexual desire a human right? And are women entitled to a little pink pill to help them feel it? Those questions are being raised in a campaign that is pressing the Food and Drug Administration to approve a pill aimed at restoring lost libido in women...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    My husband used to msg me all day at work

    or wherever he was but the last yr he has slowly stopped to not even one during the day even when I text him. He comes in and won't talk to me but he goes outside and the whole time is on his phone, he claims he's 'playing games'.. Sure he is.. It's tons of other things also but...
    firstcomes firstcomes 36-40, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 154 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    I have been married for 10 years.

    We have not had much sex in the last four years. I have two small children so I don't want to get a divorce but I really want to have sex! Is anybody in the same boat? What do you do about it?
    after12pmdelight after12pmdelight 46-50, F 12 Responses 2 days ago

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    Let me add a ray of sunshine to this gloomy

    subject. While my daughter is staying at a friends, I was determined to get my husbands attention tonight. I had thought up a game plan while I was in the shower. I had my plan intact and was ready to take the plunge to see if it would be a success. Immediately after...
    Macy21 Macy21 36-40, F 34 Responses 3 days ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 233 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 186 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 37 Responses Mar 31

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    “The Anatomy of a Sexless

    Marriage”or“How My Sexless Marriage Is Exactly Like a Bad Knee”Your knee is a fairly wonderful machine: it lets you stand, run, jump. And think of the knee of an athlete: how much more that knee as to do for its owner, with all the pressures and forces placed...
    dan13732 dan13732 51-55, M 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Well, f$ck me sideways!

    Still loveless, still sexless, still providing for my wife! Everyone is happy but me! F$sc it all!
    sojourner999 sojourner999 46-50, M 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    originaljennifer originaljennifer 18-21, F 10 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I have a similar story,

    but in my case, the story has gone on for almost 30 years. I fell in love with a boy in college and dated him for 6 months, then moved home after school. We dated just a short time before he moved back to his hometown in Ohio. He met and married a woman within a year and I...
    illinois1966 illinois1966 46-50, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    My first day as a single person,

    on my own after almost 25-years of misery - longing for love, intimacy, and sex - yet now I'm free, I have no desire for a relationship or sex. The irony.
    Carissimi Carissimi 56-60, F 28 Responses 5 days ago

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    Monogamish? Is working

    for me and this article seems to back it up... http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/are-new-dating-apps-killing-monogamy-or-has-it-always-been-dead/2015/05/26/485f07ec-03e8-11e5-8bda-c7b4e9a8f7ac_story.html?wprss=rss_lifestyle
    Notlovingit Notlovingit 46-50, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Perspectives from Oppositeland There is a

    common misconception on here, it seems, that Oppositeland is some sort of magical paradise for people who have left their sexless marriages – a place where everything turns out perfectly. No wonder, then, the disappointments experienced by some of the newly separated...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 16 Responses 6 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Dear people living in s€xless marriages,

    I have no better way to say it so here's the truth. I'm interested in astrology as a hobby and I've stumbled upon something which might be an indicator of a couple going s€xless and I want to test out my theory... Will all you wonderful people help me out test my hypothesis...
    JourneyOfLife JourneyOfLife 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    My husband and I went 5 months without having

    sex. That's the longest I think I have ever gone. It's his fault as well as mine. He sometimes has a hard time getting hard and staying hard. I used to think it was because he worried too much. we have battled this our whole relationship. I guess I have kind of given up and got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Past tense... I was in a sexless marriage.

    . But I got out. Best decision I ever made.
    mindovermulch mindovermulch 36-40, F 6 Responses 1 day ago