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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,100 People

    I m always thinking that I shouldn't blame her

    for not being that interested in sex as probably she never had an ****** b4 ; even she never *********** and got one ..never tried to do that....may be I m the one to blame although I would do anything she will ask for to satisfy her but she never talks.
    Kingnothing280 Kingnothing280 31-35, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 300 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Marriage without touch Broken souls wander in

    pain The years march onward **** Edit: I am not currently sad. In fact, I'm quite flirty. I'm also creative, thus the haiku.
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 9 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    How long does it take

    before I will become numb to the situation? It's been over a year and I sometimes still want to try and his rejection can still make me cry. I started counseling a while ago, but got overwhelmed with other things and stopped going, but is it worth it to go back? Anyone have...
    Wayningcrescent Wayningcrescent 36-40, F 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    we have had sex 3 times this year,

    I have initiated all 3 occasions with dates and a massage, she got off on all occasions, and yet she still makes me feel like I have to beg, she constantly rejects me. I need to be touched, caressed, kissed. Men need these things just as women do, and when I try to talk to her...
    ForTheLoveofMusic ForTheLoveofMusic 31-35, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I want to thank EP again.

    I joined a few days before Halloween 2014. I spoke to a few GREAT people on here. Writing my stories and recalling each event in my failed marriage helped me realize how unhappy I truly was. Journal entries on here were the same story month after month. Reading your input of...
    Luckymomof2boys Luckymomof2boys 31-35, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 22 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 54 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    All of you should get some strange

    or have some casual sex. The sexless will go away, so many people get married and decide they aren't attractive anymore. That is so incorrect.
    Trickster3272 Trickster3272 41-45 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I haven't posted on quite some time

    but I this may help someone, somehow, so.... It's been nearly 8 months since I left my marital home, and it will likely be several more months until my divorce is final. Like many of you, I spent many years chasing the why. At 5'10 and 145lbs, I wondered if I wasn't *thin...
    Insearchofmenow Insearchofmenow 31-35 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Anyone else tried psycho sexual therapy?

    How many months did it take?
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 4 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    ILIASM Pathways. You are in an ILIASM shithole.

    Pathway #1 Reject the notion that your situation is the same as everyone elses' here, and hold the line that - "everything is great bar the sex" This pathway is circular. You go around and around in a circular motion, not actually getting anywhere. The anecdotal evidence in the...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ya know the song, "Ships in the night"?

    Ya. What do you do when you are married to your best friend. Hes wonderful in every way. I wish he was attracted to me but I cant blame him when I wouldn't be if I were him. When we got married I put on a ton of weight with the first baby. There were more babies, surgeries...
    Janicecakes Janicecakes 31-35, F 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 49 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    It is so difficult to find anything in older

    posts on EP. I know I have read several posts with links to interesting articles on sexless marriages. I can't find them anymore. My husband claims that according to psychologists it is quite common to not have sex anymore at our age. (Such a bullsh!t, and sex disappeared from...
    Tamara68 Tamara68 46-50, F 18 Responses 3 days ago

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    I figured I should explain

    why my username is what it is. I'm not going in to what I do, but would like everyone to know why I put my username. My wife, strait up, doesn't do anything anymore. When we started dating, it was great, but now...flipping nothing! And I have a sexual appetite of needing it all...
    ATLBull4Couple ATLBull4Couple 31-35, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 163 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Now that same-sex marriage has been effectively

    legalized across the U.S., I propose we outlaw no-sex marriage!
    scrimshaw scrimshaw 46-50, M 6 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 58 Responses May 14, 2012

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    I wonder if dealing with lice is a metaphor

    for my marriage. . Yes. I'm admitting it in the "public" sphere of EP. My kids have lice. It's been rampant at our school this year; numerous notices have been sent home. The pharmacy agreed that they can't keep the delousing shampoo stocked on shelves. Sigh. . I discovered it 3...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 12 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 276 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 554 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    My wife and I sat with our two sons,

    both in college, and explained that we were separating. We call it a controlled separation. By that we explained we were not getting a divorce but were not separating as a trial and that we would both date. Months in the planning it went very well. We asked for them to dig deep...
    NWFLMan NWFLMan 51-55, M 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    I haven't worn my wedding ring all week.

    Sadly, my husband has not even noticed. Or maybe he has and is just still happily living in denial. Ha asked me what's wrong today. I said, "it's one of those days. I'm depressed...our situation hurts." He just says, "I'm sorry babe. I love you." It's like he knows he can't...
    Vrysad Vrysad 31-35, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    My commonality bell just showed a #1.

    The message read: curiousnready2 joined "I worry about the intelligence of our general population" after discovering my experiences. LOL...Is he trying to tell me something?
    worksforme2 worksforme2 66-70, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 198 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Last night, I told Husband

    that the possible re-starting of our sexual relationship would have to be preceded by discussions similar to talks at the U.N. ;-) I said that he would have to negotiate to gain permission to cross into my national borders. I am gaining understanding that Husband is deeply...
    LovelyAlone LovelyAlone 36-40, F 6 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    The Preferred Option.

    As ILIASM shitholes play out toward the end period there are two scenarios that play out. There is the hoped for "Preferred Option" where the refusive spouse suddenly wakes up to themselves, addresses their issues and becomes a well rounded person. Which, by default, fixes the...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Like so many of you, I live in a sexless

    marriage. The torment and longing for sex get worse day after day. Human's are not meant or designed to live this way. Many of you, especially you younger ones, have much to look forward to. Many of you may look outside of your marriage. For various reasons I won't get into...
    AwfullyLonely AwfullyLonely 51-55, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 74 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 39 Responses Mar 31

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    For the first time in many years,

    my husband attempted to initiate a sexual encounter. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn't get turned on. I don't know if it was what he was doing or simply because it was him. Perhaps we are at a "too little too late" place in our marriage. Has anyone else had this...
    KandyFoxx KandyFoxx 31-35, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    Follow Instagram Snap chat Tumblr Twitter

    chanelconoco Username is the same for all. I answer questions post videos and blog I've also spoken to people who battle depression and I've worked with women who are in domestic violence situation.
    someoneforyou12 someoneforyou12 22-25, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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