Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
This experience may contain mature content, as flagged by the community.
Please click away if you do not want to see this content.
To report inappropriate content, please email us.

I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,968 People

    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    As I'm laying here in bed,

    shades drawn, tears flowing and a profound pain in my heart..... I watched my 'angel' drive off to college an hour ago. I'm proud to say, she's a 4.0 student, top 4% of her class and an over achiever in everything she puts her mind too. She has won multiple scholarships due to...
    LEXUS46 LEXUS46 46-50, F 27 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 154 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been married for 10 years.

    We have not had much sex in the last four years. I have two small children so I don't want to get a divorce but I really want to have sex! Is anybody in the same boat? What do you do about it?
    after12pmdelight after12pmdelight 46-50, F 12 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well, f$ck me sideways!

    Still loveless, still sexless, still providing for my wife! Everyone is happy but me! F$sc it all!
    sojourner999 sojourner999 46-50, M 9 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a similar story,

    but in my case, the story has gone on for almost 30 years. I fell in love with a boy in college and dated him for 6 months, then moved home after school. We dated just a short time before he moved back to his hometown in Ohio. He met and married a woman within a year and I...
    illinois1966 illinois1966 46-50, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 58 Responses May 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 233 Responses Apr 2, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 22 Responses Feb 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Monogamish? Is working

    for me and this article seems to back it up... http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/are-new-dating-apps-killing-monogamy-or-has-it-always-been-dead/2015/05/26/485f07ec-03e8-11e5-8bda-c7b4e9a8f7ac_story.html?wprss=rss_lifestyle
    Notlovingit Notlovingit 46-50, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm not married but I have been dating a guy

    who lives in a unhappy marriage but refuses to divorce
    foxxyladie foxxyladie 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Part of the self esteem recovery plan is

    getting back to being buff dad. This requires a 5k run every weekday evening. It has been made pretty clear this should be done in my own time, so it is, and I go at 10pm. Last night I was aware of a car tracking me around the country lanes. I was feeling pretty reflective...
    dadonthesofa dadonthesofa 46-50, M 25 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi there! I’m a lesbian who’s happily

    married to her best friend. September will mark 4 years since we’ve had any physical intimacy. Ours has been a completely celibate/platonic marriage. She says it’s due to menopause. It’s so difficult. I love her so much. I love the life we have. Our marriage is a good one...
    oldtruckgirl oldtruckgirl 31-35, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm divorced, but still sharing the same house

    and still trying to move on, so I still identify as I'm trying to sort through my feelings. Today I thought - you can't have a healthy relationship unless there are two healthy people.
    metamorf metamorf 51-55, F 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 74 Responses Feb 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 186 Responses Nov 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So I tell him how I feel.

    ....unwanted, unattractive and unloved and what he says is he doesn't know how I could blame him for my insecurities. Am I wrong? I didnt really even blame him but he knows what i meant. I mean we went from having sex and being best friends in our marriage to over night barely...
    crazy1983 crazy1983 31-35, F 15 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My first day as a single person,

    on my own after almost 25-years of misery - longing for love, intimacy, and sex - yet now I'm free, I have no desire for a relationship or sex. The irony.
    Carissimi Carissimi 56-60, F 28 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    originaljennifer originaljennifer 18-21, F 10 Responses 11 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 161 Responses Jul 22, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 72 Responses Mar 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Blogs here will soon die.

    .. :( Don't forget to save them somewhere! On June 21st, EP will be discontinuing Blogs due to ongoing maintenance issues. Please export your blog content by clicking here.
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am involved in an affair

    for three years now. I know it's wrong, but it's so painful to end. I love my husband like a brother. I don't want to end it since I do love him and my children. the affair person does not want to leave his wife. he is also in a sexless marriage.Please don't judge. I already...
    firstaffair firstaffair 51-55, F 9 Responses 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My husband and I went 5 months without having

    sex. That's the longest I think I have ever gone. It's his fault as well as mine. He sometimes has a hard time getting hard and staying hard. I used to think it was because he worried too much. we have battled this our whole relationship. I guess I have kind of given up and got...
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dear people living in s€xless marriages,

    I have no better way to say it so here's the truth. I'm interested in astrology as a hobby and I've stumbled upon something which might be an indicator of a couple going s€xless and I want to test out my theory... Will all you wonderful people help me out test my hypothesis...
    JourneyOfLife JourneyOfLife 22-25, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Interesting article about how the viewpoint

    and purpose for marriage has changed in the last 30 years. A lot of us fall into this time period of change. http://hiit-blog.dailyhiit.com/hiit-life/serial-monogamy-new-marriage/
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Past tense... I was in a sexless marriage.

    . But I got out. Best decision I ever made.
    mindovermulch mindovermulch 36-40, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 554 Responses Apr 18, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Let me add a ray of sunshine to this gloomy

    subject. While my daughter is staying at a friends, I was determined to get my husbands attention tonight. I had thought up a game plan while I was in the shower. I had my plan intact and was ready to take the plunge to see if it would be a success. Immediately after...
    Macy21 Macy21 36-40, F 34 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sigh this group is depressing.

    I hope all of you find what you're seeking. I'm not married but I hope i never get to this point. Don't know what i'd do if im married and can't have sex with my wife!
    RastaGotSoul RastaGotSoul 22-25, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    ‘Viagra for Women’ Gets Push

    for F.D.A. Approval "Is sexual desire a human right? And are women entitled to a little pink pill to help them feel it? Those questions are being raised in a campaign that is pressing the Food and Drug Administration to approve a pill aimed at restoring lost libido in women...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I admit my role. We have each had times

    as refusers. We usually got out of it before a death spiral started. I'm not sure this time. I need some counselor (maybe more than one even - me, us may need different guides)...but here's where I need some advice.,, My only experience of counseling is very square - how do I...
    GrantGeek GrantGeek 46-50, F 10 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I know what I am doing We watched an episode

    that was hard for even me to watch. It was an episode of Outlander. I do so love that show. This is more than hard for me to say, and I am sorry about the subsequent SPOILER as well as the review - please bear with me, this is a bit of a long story: My husband and I watch...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel