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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,440 People

    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    kimcc11 kimcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I was on this site previously,

    but deleted my account. I lived in a sexless marriage for about 15 years. This April, I left my wife. The ultimate cause for my leaving was the fact that she is NPD (Google that). Really, though if you are living in a sexless marriage, there is a reason for it. Generally, I...
    GrayDogGuy GrayDogGuy 46-50, M 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 23 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Does anyone else find

    that self-love just reminds you more of what's missing from your life?
    scrimshaw scrimshaw 46-50, M 14 Responses 4 days ago

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    Two years post divorce

    after a 34-year marriage, the last 8 years of which (and many others including 5 consecutive years) were completely sexless. Here are some reflections about my life. In the divorce settlement, I got the house we had lived in for 21 years. Unfortunately, due to my husband's...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    I live in a sexless marriage.

    We have sex approximately 4 times a year, I call it quarterly sex. This is intolerable and I'd leave except I have 4 young kids. Worse than the lack of sex is her aversion to any sort of human touch. No hugs, no kisses, no goodbyes, no welcome home and only one I love you in...
    jeremycurtis jeremycurtis 41-45, M 15 Responses 5 days ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 63 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 183 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    I've always loved to read,

    but I'd never put much stock into self-help books. I was in the bookstore earlier this week (the one you walk into, not the one you log in to) And decided I'd wander over to the self-help section. Not for me, of course. I'm 100% totally fine. But I thought if someone just...
    samedeepwater samedeepwater 51-55, M 2 Responses 31 mins ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 197 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 231 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    I've had sex With a few guys

    who are in sexless marriage and I love it!!!!! It's such a turn on having sex with guys your not supposed too;)
    lovestobefucked lovestobefucked 18-21, F 14 Responses 4 days ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 76 Responses Feb 9

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    yousentmeflying yousentmeflying 22-25, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 296 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    earthlingcc11 earthlingcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 71 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Playing the Pokies (probably better known in

    some jurisdictions as slot machines) In my jurisdiction, the Pokies - by Govt decree - must return 85% of throughput over a 12 month period to the mugs who play these gambling machines. Of course the great hidden scheme of these things means that you put in 100%, and...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Another update from part-time opposite land.

    ... I've been staying at my new place about 3-4 times a week. I'm home when my daughter is, but am otherwise away. Still working on my eating disorder and that's going well. I'm officially a size 4, up from a size 0. Personally, i don't think I need to gain the last 8-10 pounds...
    SoDone1492 SoDone1492 46-50, F 7 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I've been away for a while,

    it appears. I suspect that success stories in ILIASM forums are rare for two reasons: 1. Anyone who has one leaves and doesn't look back 2. There aren't many of them in the first place Back in March we seemed to have something of a breakthrough in my own SM and it seemed that...
    Consensus Consensus 31-35 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 36 Responses Mar 31

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    Transitioning from "Victim" to "Chooser" The

    premise here, is that you are in an ILIASM shithole, and are presently in an inert position. You 'don't know what to do' or you 'can't possibly leave'. In other words, you are in an inert position, a 'victim' of circumstances. This, is not a good position to be in. It means...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 7 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Do all couple end up feeling lonely ?

    It is just how is it ?
    simbaboncuk simbaboncuk 22-25, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Even after you emerge from SM hell,

    even once you are with someone who shares your enthusiasm for a good rooting, there will still be times when such rooting has to wait. One of you may not feel well, there may be things to do, you may just not be in the mood for whatever reason. And you just shrug it off and say...
    PhinheasGage PhinheasGage 46-50, M 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    061462j 061462j 51-55, F 31 Responses 3 days ago

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    Tell me about having tough conversations with

    passive refusers I need tactics
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 15 Responses 4 days ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    I was thinking of telling my H tonight

    that I'm going to a therapist next week because I'm not happy and not happily married as a way of easing into it and then mid month 9/17 tell him I want a divorce. What do you think?
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 35 Responses 3 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Never would have imagined

    that marriage could make you feel so lonely. Drains a person.
    cabbagee cabbagee 46-50, F 4 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 48 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    I'm a strong & confident woman.

    I understand & embrace my sexuality. I'm open minded, curious & explorative about new sexual experiences. I'm upfront about my needs & desires. I'm easy to engage with new sexual concepts. I'm encouraging of other people's fantasies. I'm vocal about my thoughts. But my wife...
    Curiousmissy Curiousmissy 31-35, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 435 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    It's a strange thing .

    ...... Facebook, that is. Liars are always found out in the end.
    Steviepro Steviepro