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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,803 People

    My wife and I have been married

    for 13 years and used to have a very healthy marriage with lots of intimate moments. Throughout the years though, things have changed, we had some arguments and gradually distanced from each other. We both worked to solve this however and over time we managed to get close again...
    andy7rs andy7rs 31-35, M 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Alabama boy singing our plight- take a listen!

    Til someone needs medical help or, the magnolias bloom... http://youtu.be/NaUCDqWzy1k
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    UPDATE #6 EP Link When it rains it pours.

    Out of nowhere I lost my job (not affair related). Which means I can't get the apartment I wanted. Which means I can't move on with my life. No Job. No marriage. No family. No friends. No money. I'm not a religious man but if you have any positive thoughts to send, I need...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 11 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Living in a relationship without intimacy.

    ... Both emotionally and physically... I keep going hoping that she will "wake up"... Naive?, hopeless optimistic? Or plain stupid :s?
    Raafs Raafs 36-40, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 56 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 276 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Question: Would you

    rather have a spouse that A: Holds you hand, cuddles you all the time, makes little romantic gestures etc but won't have sex. B: Wants sex but outside the bedroom isn't romantic, touching or says "I love you" without prompting. I know we expect/want both in marriage But I am...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 46-50, M 25 Responses 1 day ago

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    For those of you that left your refusers,

    did you struggle to watch some poor schmuck fall into you ex-refuser's trap just like you did? I imagine I would struggle with that. I'd almost feel like warning him or her of what was ahead. ;) lol. Too bad refusers can't just be honest and say upfront that they don't want...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 9 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Here is a song and video

    for my friends. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elq0_COa8sU&feature=youtu.be
    DeborahManning DeborahManning 51-55, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Feeling lonely today had a busy weekend out

    with friends but now sitting here Sunday night with the kids don't know where hubby is this time working again supposedly ... My little play friend is playing football he is really good semi pro we are not having an affair he is younger than me he has a girlfriend but he is...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    At what point does my desire to enjoy the

    intimate life I yearn for outweigh the social and economic benefits of my marriage ... Moving through my weekend tasks ... I weight this out ... As many of you do too
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 16 Responses 2 days ago

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    My wife is distant , cold ,

    unloving and says she has no passion but won't deny me sex! She says she loves me but doesn't show it in anyway. Quick kiss at the most, no hugging, touching. She doesn't understand that lying back and being unresponsive during "sex" is totally unfulfilling and demolarising...
    jspiscean jspiscean 46-50, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Final Act You come to me in the night my

    little succubus shining and willing Seeking to lure me into delights that have been long missing from life I can almost feel your skin against mine as the mists hide you once more Hearing your laughter taunting just beyond the edge of madness lurking Sleep has been long coming...
    Warriorpoett Warriorpoett 56-60, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    "Hey thanks again for helping with the trash.

    You know you still live here" This was my morning text from my STBX. Never mind that I cleaned the kitchen, did the dishes, did three loads of laundry, swaggered the floors, collected the trash from the house and took out three bags worth and brought the cans out to the...
    deepbreathneeded deepbreathneeded 36-40, M 9 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    So if I went to the doctor with a broken arm

    and he tried to make me feel better by fixing my legs, I'd be a bit annoyed. Especially, if afterwards he saw that I was still in pain and then got mad at me because I couldn't just stop complaining about my broken arm. My wife seems to be the perfect angel since I hit rock...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    So since Christmas we have had sex 4 times

    and that's only because I try to instigate it. If I was to wait for her to I would wait months and months. My marriage just fells like being back in the friend zone no intimacy just feels like I'm living with a flat m8 now :( not sure what to do as my sex drive is high not...
    Andyc1982 Andyc1982 31-35, M 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 42 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I don't live in a sexless marriage.

    I have sex with my boyfriend 2-3 times per week. I usually initiate it. We argue about this often. He is a pretty selfish lover. As soon as he finishes - it's over. Just wondering if this is how your relationship started? Were there problems with the sex from the beginning of...
    soConfused86 soConfused86 26-30, F 11 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 234 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    So yet another peice of evidence

    that prove my wife has no respect for me. We Foster dogs for the spca. Usually fall thru spring. My inlaws have a place at the beach and we sometimes go there in the summer. Well we allready have three dogs of our own, and we just got another Foster two weeks ago. Told the...
    harleyman2169 harleyman2169 46-50, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    How To Handle A Sexless Marriage? Have Sex.

    I am horrified by the recent increase in trollish, drive-by advice, telling ILIASMers that the solution to all their problems lie in having sex, outsourcing, going on a spree, investing in sex toys, or some other idiotic ideas like that. The people or bots giving this advice...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 31 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 44 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Regarding my previous post about my MRI.

    I got a copy of the DVD. I'm no doctor but well educated and my research has pointed out that MRI with contrast (a dye ( for simplistic terminology) is injected into the blood stream and any foreign bodies in the brain, including plaque and rumors show up white by absorbing...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    UPDATE # 4 from EP Link And.

    ............KABOOM. It's over; just like that. Last night into this morning was my latest date with my outsourced friend. Great date....lots of laughs, HOURS of love making (didn't know I could be a workhorse). Annnnnnnnd my wife more or less found out. Just like that I am...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 19 Responses 2 days ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    happyhornet happyhornet 46-50, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 40 Responses Mar 31

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    So still no sex in 2015.

    I am thinking about this way too much. I need to do something.
    Bardowl15 Bardowl15 41-45, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    On July 23 of this year,

    I will have lived in a sexless marriage for 11 years. During that time, I have been totally faithful and consider this to be involuntary celibacy. For most of the time, I remained because we had five children at home and I was dealing with the aftermath of breast cancer. I had...
    mywash mywash 61-65, F 6 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 438 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 159 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    We haven't had sex since we conceived my son.

    He us now seventeen. She had post-parted depression, so I was understanding and supportive and patient. Then her reason for not wanting sex was because we had a child in the house. She wanted a sibling for him, but apparently no one ever explained to her how that whole process...
    greenarrow02170 greenarrow02170 51-55, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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