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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,696 People

    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 187 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    How To Handle A Sexless Marriage? Have Sex.

    I am horrified by the recent increase in trollish, drive-by advice, telling ILIASMers that the solution to all their problems lie in having sex, outsourcing, going on a spree, investing in sex toys, or some other idiotic ideas like that. The people or bots giving this advice...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 31 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    So for all of us who are struggling with our

    marriages. I recently fell in a love with a new song. It's by Britt Nicole and really hits home for me. The Sun is Rising. It gives me hope not only for today but, for tomorrow. Maybe, my marriage cannot be fixed. But, I can be happy with myself.
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 21 hrs ago

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    Well, now that I have finally come to the

    realization of living in a Sexless Marriage, I have figured out what has replaced sex for me, it is food. Since the realization I have been eating, snacking as much as possible, and have gained 15 pounds, which has helped to take away my sex drive, if that makes any sense...
    Fotoman Fotoman 46-50, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Consequences Of 'enduring'.

    I'm posting this story here even though I no longer live in a sexless relationship, because if you are currently in one, now is the time to think about what is happening to you. Your experience will not be exactly the same as mine, but I think it's likely you are going through...
    hrts hrts 41-45, F 36 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    So back .... Jan 16th 2015 (the day I arrived

    home from mexico) was the day things changed here. 6 years battling for affection and trying to figure out why it stopped and how to fix it. Today is March 27th which make today day 70. Things changed immediately like the snap of two fingers. Intimate sexual relations, dates...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 1 Response 26 mins ago

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    More pointless ramblings from HoO So a few days

    ago we had sex in the morning initiated by me but she was not into it so I cut it short. No discussion was had and the day went on as usual for a Saturday. That night we had dinner out with friends and sex was mentioned and my wife said something (I forget her exact words...
    HusbandOfOne HusbandOfOne 41-45, M 23 Responses 3 days ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 235 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 47 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Follow up to my pointless rambling story from

    the other day: First off, thank you to all who commented. ALL OF YOU. The comments are very helpful and it looks as if no punches were pulled. Which fine I am thick skinned and have great self esteem so the more direct and blunt the better. I have a lot of self examination...
    HusbandOfOne HusbandOfOne 41-45, M 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    A poll for those who have told their parents

    they are divorcing/considering divorce: How did your parents react? When I tried to talk to my parents about how I am unhappy and would like to make big changes in my life, starting with leaving my husband, they were very discouraging. My dad was actually hostile, I didn't...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 16 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am almost 28, I have 2 children

    and a wonderful husband who doesn't want me, at least not in a sexual way. Sex used to be frequent and good and now it's probably about 6 times a year, has been like this for a couple of years now. I have never once rejected him, yet I feel as though I am too embarrassed to...
    limlam limlam 26-30, F 14 Responses 3 days ago

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    Marriage counseling Session 2 Again,

    another rough session for my wife. She was defensive through the entire process. Therapist brought up my email from last session, as I expected she would because she said she would share everything we talk about in private and in group. I explained how my wife felt attacked...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 157 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    If nothing else she is predictable.

    ... So I too the test for the 5 love languages no surprise I ranked as high as can be on physical with the runner up on affirmation. I knew that would be the case going in but it was nice to have it in black and white. So as I am taking this test I am thinking to myself...
    HusbandOfOne HusbandOfOne 41-45, M 15 Responses 1 day ago

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    Wow. The lyrics of this song -

    that I heard a million times as a kid - just hit me a different way. Sad, but also kind of uplifting. Yes, don't laugh, its REO Speedwagon. I've been around for you I've been up and down for you But I just can't get any relief I've swallowed my pride for you I've lived and...
    isoldeblue isoldeblue 36-40, F 2 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    so 2015 is not off to a hot start ,

    marriage still reaching new lows all the time , my wife has gone from angry and stressed and negative most of the time , to becoming verbally and mentally , emotionally abusive to me , i havent stopped trying to reconnect with her , but its always a catch 22 , and i never know...
    skiball5150 skiball5150 36-40, M 3 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    My wife wondered why her girlfriend told her off

    when she told her she doesn't sleep with me
    grgbyce978 grgbyce978 56-60, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    After years and years of excuses,

    I decided to leave... I packed my bags and I stepped out into the great unknown... It turned out to be the best decision...
    AwesomeAlert AwesomeAlert 46-50, M 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Edited to add: Outsourcing I also met other

    perfectly nice people in a similar situation. It doesn't have to be people using each other, it can be people giving each other comfort. Any problems I had came from not enforcing my boundaries. But I didnt know I had those boundaries until I ran into them so it was kind of...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 17 Responses 3 days ago

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    I Still Grieve … SmartKat recently posted

    a story wondering whether there is room for grief on ILIASM. EP Link This story is my attempted response. When I was new on this site, I had posted a short story called “Why I'm Not Grieving The End Of My Marriage.” EP Link It was true of my feelings at the time. I had...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 6 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 52 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 75 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    grgbyce978 grgbyce978 56-60, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/5647490 Part 7
    realme75 realme75 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 80 Responses Feb 9

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    Smithy's World--"un" update hello dear ILIASM

    friends, i called the court (again!) today to inquire whether a decision has been issued on my X's motion. as usual the response was "it is still showing as pending." when i expressed dismay, and asked if there's any way at all to tell how much longer, the person at the court...
    smithy8015 smithy8015 46-50, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    How many of you actually see your spouse

    as a real husband or wife? --- I woke up this morning, rolled over and saw a cell mate with whom I have been having institutionalized sex with and not a person with whom I share a life with. It is a sad morning in HoO's house. I realized this morning that she will never be...
    HusbandOfOne HusbandOfOne 41-45, M 19 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 301 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 56 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Just A Shout Out

    I just want to say a big hello to my soon-to-be ex-husband Jay  He has taken up reading every single post of mine on here.  Beside the fact that he really needs to get a life, I wanted to welcome him.  Maybe reading a little truth and honesty would be a nice...
    k145712 k145712 36-40, F 58 Responses Mar 3, 2010

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    12 years of marriage

    and 2 daughters. The last 5 years have been ridiculous. I feel like a dog begging for table scraps. We have no time alone. My youngest daughter still sleeps in the bed with us even though I just bought her a brand new complete bedroom set. I'm constantly rejected and whenever I...
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Cats everywhere! So,

    the other day I let the cat out of the bag (H addicted to p*rn and ************) to a friend. Well, it's like the flood gate opened. I have told my five closest friends, now. They know about my 4 years of sexlessness - they know HIS problem. They know how worthless...
    Seekinganswers2 Seekinganswers2 41-45, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    grgbyce978 grgbyce978 56-60, M 1 day ago

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    So I have been kind and respectful to STBX.

    What say the SM folks about leaving this web page open on my last day of contact?
    WowandWowWow WowandWowWow 51-55, F 9 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Recently while reflection on my life

    and how I ended if in a sexless marriage, I was recalling the situation that led to infertility issues with my wife. Her very purpose for getting married, as I learned years later, was to have a family. Just after graduating from college and accepting an Army commission I left...
    NWTruthSeeker NWTruthSeeker 56-60, M 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    Good read. http://elitedaily.

    com/dating/going-back-to-the-person-who-is-bad-for-you/919304/
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    So I spend time imagining my new separated life.

    For financial and logistical reasons I don't think a physical separation is imminent. Still, I imagine whenever that time comes a little house of my own (I tried imagining an apartment, I didn't like it). I feel happy about it. The freedom would be amazing and I hope it...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 50 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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