Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
This experience may contain mature content, as flagged by the community.
Please click away if you do not want to see this content.
To report inappropriate content, please email us.

I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,911 People

    After the blow up last weekend,

    and several days of avoidance, this morning he acts like nothing ever happened. The standard fair, really. Fly under the radar of the irrational, demanding wife, and things will go back to normal. Proceed with usual charm and disillusion. Except I have my first appointment...
    MissInhard MissInhard 41-45, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 294 Responses Dec 20, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is there anyone who ever hear this?

    Do you even bother to respond or do you feel as if you are crazy for expecting it? "You are responsible for your own happiness" - said when he forgot birthday/anniversary or didn't do anything to make the day special. "According to you, everything is my fault" or "Yes, use...
    lbncb lbncb 41-45 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 26 Responses Feb 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No kids this weekend Friday night she's

    sleeping by 930....all day Saturday says she's going to make it up to me and doing sexual innuendos all day....we go to dirty grandpa, get home and she's sleeping in 5 minutes....she says she'll get me a gf because she's not sexual like me and I really want to say yes but I...
    bigernnd83 bigernnd83 31-35, M 10 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feeling super lonely

    and needy lately. H wants to get close, but I can't. I may not be in love with him but I do love him. So why is it so hard to just hold his hand or hug him every now and then? It's like the tables have turned.. He wants to get back into my personal space in the hopes that a...
    1Life2Live2015 1Life2Live2015 36-40, F 19 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've known people who admit having regrets

    about past sexual encounters. They were drunk, submitted to pressure, acted impulsively/compulsively, or thought a partner was worthy who turned out not. For some, saying no is very difficult even just for fear of hurting the others feelings, and sex of some sort is easier to...
    AnythngIsPossibl AnythngIsPossibl 41-45, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

      http://aplus.

    com/a/were-getting-divorced-announcement-above-average
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everything went how I thought it would at the

    lawyer's appointment. One thing I didn't think about was that he said I should get my will done right away and change the beneficiaries of certain things, in order protect my son. I'm glad for the legal advice, even if it mainly only confirmed my understanding of my rights etc...
    MissInhard MissInhard 41-45, F 5 Responses 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 46-50, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 435 Responses Dec 27, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Normal marriage: http://youtu.

    be/-6jQHLaLDbY Sexless marriage: http://youtu.be/bXKKVt8odt4
    PhinheasGage PhinheasGage 46-50, M 3 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Maybe not fully sexless,

    but definitely need more. Husband is away for work for days sometimes. And when he is home, he always seems tired. Maybe I have a higher sex drive. But I feel like something is wrong with me also. Like I never feel satisfied anymore. I am always fantasizing and thinking. I do...
    sandrawilde sandrawilde 22-25, F 13 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No more STBX Well it's official I am a single

    lady today. I went down to the courthouse by myself just like everything else I usually do. I appeared in front of of judge with my attorney my H waived his right to answer which was a good thing. I'm finally free and at peace from being under the same roof as him but being...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 39 Responses Jan 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Promises, seduce, tease,

    marriage, then denial!
    magic7 magic7 61-65, M 9 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Update: I did it! Originally I planned to tell

    my husband later in the week, that I want a divorce but when he came to bed at 3 am he complained about his kidneys hurting. All I could think about was if he ends up in the hospital I will never have the guts to tell him I want out. So I decided right there and then tonight...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 40 Responses Sep 15, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been responding quite a bit,

    but have not posted in awhile. I'm struck by how similar our situations are and how there seems to be a typical pattern beginning with the realization that things aren't going to change, soul-searching the question, "Can I possibly go the rest of my life without sex...
    momtonandg momtonandg 46-50, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses Sep 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Another milestone. Last night,

    I told my parents about the split. . If it sounds a little weird that I waited almost a month - it's not. This is pretty normal for my family. We aren't the most communicative lot. We talk on the phone about once a month - and I'm almost always the one to initiate the call...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 22 Responses 19 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ok I suppose I'm in a slightly different

    situation from many on here as I am in my early 50's and in a relationship that's only 2 years old. Prior to this I had very long term relationships and in my 40s probably explored my sexuality and had some fun I never had in my 20s as I was married in that time or good as...
    catrionaxxx catrionaxxx 46-50, F 16 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 74 Responses Feb 9, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 60 Responses Jan 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 152 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feeling impatient. Today I want to move on

    and have a real relationship again. I'm expecting fear / nervousness / doubt again soon....,
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 5 Responses 14 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A test of

    Oppositeland ----------------------- Since my ex-refuser and I have pets together, we agreed that I could come visit at his place occasionally, since they live with him. This past weekend, I made my first pet visit. This is after having had The Talk 3 weeks ago. . Yesterday...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 22 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Celebration Since leaving my sexless marriage I

    have been on the most incredible journey of self discovery. The posts Neeia has posted recently have really triggered a great deal of emotion. She asks why when a relationship fails do we always look for how we are to blame? Recently I dated a man who told me I was broken...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 24, 2015

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 175 Responses Jul 22, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Tonight started out typical.

    I tried to get him interested in sex. He said, "but you have your period." I said "so **** my ***". He looked at me like I was a horrible person. I let loose and I told him I wasn't happy, this wasn't enough. I again got the same line "all you want is sex and you will...
    MissInhard MissInhard 41-45, F 48 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ramblings from a restless mind- I was

    thinking about why some leave their misery and others stay. I partially remembered a quote and went on a search for it. I found it, by Thoreau from "Walden". "I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live...
    Jim44444 Jim44444 61-65, M 17 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I really would rather be alone

    and celibate than paired up and celibate.
    GrantGeek GrantGeek 46-50, F 18 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi everybody!!!! Just a quick update about my x

    assown! There is no doubt my x refuser is gay!!! He has recently blown thru several so called "relationships" (haaaaa) because they wanted sex and he couldn't consumate! He actually just texted me that he ran from his most recent "relationship" (like any of us give a f...
    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 41-45, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 102 Responses Jun 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    the past week has been nice.

    after an attempt to have sex my partner disclosed that he just doesn't like lady parts. he says he likes mine, but not vjays jn general. Hes not gay either. I think he's a sexual. but ive spent the last 24 hours daydreaming about the guy i slept with before and the chemistry we...
    CassieSamuel CassieSamuel 22-25, F 12 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Quick update - still less

    than I want but more than less. Usually the encounters are meaningful but some are robotic Thoughts - robotic encounters are warning signs to review our "love tank" and see what's going on and repair before it gets bad again. Household - she does more cleaning now and I...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 230 Responses Apr 2, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chemistry - Inspired by a recent post,

    I've thought about "chemistry" and wondered why it's something that can't be controlled. Why am I attracted to some men and numb to others? - I've dated a few men recently who are perfectly nice guys - good-looking, smart, kind, and single - but I feel nothing. There's no...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 56-60, F 17 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel