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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,428 People

    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Tell me about having tough conversations with

    passive refusers I need tactics
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    earthlingcc11 earthlingcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    kimcc11 kimcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 8 Responses 6 days ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 553 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 63 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    I hope this advice-seeker finds I Live in a

    Sexless Marriage.... "DEAR ABBY: The wedding night I had dreamed about forever was supposed to be the most romantic and amazing of my life with the one person I can't live without. Instead, it was the most humiliating experience I have ever had. I dressed in a beautiful...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I live in a sexless marriage.

    We have sex approximately 4 times a year, I call it quarterly sex. This is intolerable and I'd leave except I have 4 young kids. Worse than the lack of sex is her aversion to any sort of human touch. No hugs, no kisses, no goodbyes, no welcome home and only one I love you in...
    Naghtybitz Naghtybitz 41-45, M 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Hey any fun busty ladies wanna chat message me

    if that's you x UK based even better
    ilovebustyfemales ilovebustyfemales 41-45, M 1 day ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 48 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    I was on this site previously,

    but deleted my account. I lived in a sexless marriage for about 15 years. This April, I left my wife. The ultimate cause for my leaving was the fact that she is NPD (Google that). Really, though if you are living in a sexless marriage, there is a reason for it. Generally, I...
    GrayDogGuy GrayDogGuy 46-50, M 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    I was watching Good Morning America this

    morning. They were talking about marriage. They interviewed a couple who were in their 70's or 80's. The married couple talked about their lives together. She women interviewed said "I like to hold his hand." I want someone in my life who would like to hold my hand once in...
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 36 Responses Mar 31

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    I propose an ILIASM nunnery.

    We can enjoy each other's company, support each other. This is not a prudish nunnery so one night "indiscretions" are allowed. One might say even encouraged. But any expectations for a relationship beyond that lead to disappointment, so these thoughts are not encouraged...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 13 Responses 4 days ago

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    I've had sex With a few guys

    who are in sexless marriage and I love it!!!!! It's such a turn on having sex with guys your not supposed too;)
    lovestobefucked lovestobefucked 18-21, F 14 Responses 1 day ago

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 71 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    I have backslid significantly in the last two

    weeks. In the last month I have had sex with my husband as many times as I usually have in a year. Not for anything more than opportunity or demanding it on my part, just being honest. My quarter was up and it was a doozy. Nothing has changed otherwise. I have gained more...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 16 Responses 3 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 296 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Am3917 Am3917 22-25, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    3 years out of my sexless marriage.

    .. Every so often, I like to check in here and give an update. And here's the latest: 3 years and a month after ending my SM, I am still a billion times happier than I was before! No regrets, no shame, no anger. Opposite Land is another planet than SM-land, just as well all...
    nyartgal nyartgal 36-40, F 11 Responses 6 days ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    HonestSid HonestSid 41-45, M 10 Responses 2 days ago

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    Figuring it out The story

    so far: - my wife's libido is lower than mine - she can enjoy sex once every X days - I am ok with taking care of myself for those X days after we make love - I try to pull my own weight around the house without making a big deal of it The current challenge: after those X days...
    bspoke bspoke 46-50, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    061462j 061462j 51-55, F 30 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 12 hrs ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 76 Responses Feb 9

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    I was thinking of telling my H tonight

    that I'm going to a therapist next week because I'm not happy and not happily married as a way of easing into it and then mid month 9/17 tell him I want a divorce. What do you think?
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 34 Responses 1 day ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 163 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    It's a strange thing .

    ...... Facebook, that is. Liars are always found out in the end.
    Steviepro Steviepro 46-50, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 4 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Two years post divorce

    after a 34-year marriage, the last 8 years of which (and many others including 5 consecutive years) were completely sexless. Here are some reflections about my life. In the divorce settlement, I got the house we had lived in for 21 years. Unfortunately, due to my husband's...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    September has arrived.

    I plan to tell my husband this month that I want a divorce. Originally I planned to stay married another 4 years to pay off our debts and make a clean break. I changed my mind, I'm getting out. I met with an attorney and figured out a way that I will be able to support...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 50 Responses 3 days ago

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    Been married since 1975.

    ..she was 19, I was 21...we have 3 grown children, 5 grandchildren..we've built a comfortable life together....but the attraction is gone, due to several factors...mental abuse, neglect, selfishness...as well as many other factors that will destroy any relationship...all...
    guitarman493 guitarman493 61-65, M 7 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I've been away for a while,

    it appears. I suspect that success stories in ILIASM forums are rare for two reasons: 1. Anyone who has one leaves and doesn't look back 2. There aren't many of them in the first place Back in March we seemed to have something of a breakthrough in my own SM and it seemed that...
    Consensus Consensus 31-35 5 Responses