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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,378 People

    It seems cruel and unusual punishment

    that the one time hubby decides to make a move is when it's the wrong time of the month for me!! Not that it particularly worried me, but once he discovered that fact, it was all off! Disappointing, it would have helped immensely with the cramps ;)
    CallieB874 CallieB874 36-40, F 16 Responses 3 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    From HuffPost: "Deciding to end your marriage

    is, without question, one of the most heartbreaking decisions a parent will ever face. While recent studies have suggested that kids bounce back fairly well after the initial pain of the breakup, the question looms large in every parent's mind: should we get a divorce or stick...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 5 mins ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 186 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    This isn't an experience this is advice !

    Talk to your partners my friend recently split with her husband of 20 years and they both found out that they were feeling the same way!!! Talk talk talk !
    SunnySeaside SunnySeaside 26-30, F 23 Responses 1 day ago

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    i give up , im raising the white flag ,

    im not going to fight the battle anymore , i have tried everything and anything , every self help , every nice thing to say , every nice thing to do , ive tried being spontaneous , i cant do anything more , my wife must just have ZERO percent attraction to me , sex 1 time in...
    skiball5150 skiball5150 36-40, M 22 Responses 3 days ago

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    Anyone want to try and see

    if their refusers are up for intensive couple's therapy? http://www.conservativeoutfitters.com/blogs/news/16657133-so-its-come-to-this 'Merica.
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 5 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 235 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    I think I've lost touch with the real world.

    I keep posting the things my H has and has not done in regard to our relationship and to me personally. I keep saying to myself, but look, he's really not all bad. He is, at least in my mind, still human, still deserving of some kind of respect and at least a pseudo kind of...
    Harley53 Harley53 56-60, F 8 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Wish I could find a woman that's discreet

    and likes to be exotic with a lot of sex appeal someone I can hold and caress and just make her feel so wet
    stewballsrbig stewballsrbig 46-50, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    lewismoore7 lewismoore7 18-21, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Have you ever wondered

    if your refuser spouse sees you as the refuser? Are you in a situation where both of you are waiting for the other to make the first move? Do you think your refuser spouse thinks (or maybe s/he is actually saying it to you outright) that you are not being sexy or seductive...
    MrSTF MrSTF 36-40, M 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    So it was. So it is. So it shall be.

    My marriage is over. We have decided on an amicable split and will be going with a mediator and marriage settlement agreement. Scheduled filing date is the end of next week or early the following week. I have asked her to move out effective the date of filing since she is the...
    NHotH2O NHotH2O 46-50, M 32 Responses 3 days ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 152 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Quick update. Been three days without

    physical intimacy, this is ok and I know my inner voice screaming is because it's afraid to go back to neglect but three days is normal still. Emotional intimacy is still good, talking together with no tv, iPad or iPhone in the way and she crawls over from her side of the bed...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    d0uggy d0uggy 36-40, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    What A Difference 2 Years Can Make

    I arrived at EP 2 years ago today. And if you told me then, that in 2 years, I would be an entirely different person, in an entirely different place, mentally, physically,spiritually, sexually.....I would have said your nuts..You haven't a clue about anything, and obviously you...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 37 Responses Oct 15, 2012

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    How many of you have not had sex

    or any intimate contact with your spouse in over a year? I can not remember the last time I had any intimate contact with my spouse.
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 15 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    My wife and stopped having sex

    when I was diagnosed with CHF. We've actually gotten closer because now we just talk and listen.
    DADNSCAL DADNSCAL 61-65, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Basic Mismatch

    I see lots of stories lately from people who are new and hopeful there will be a solution here they haven't thought of yet. They come here, post a story and get some feedback.  Then they go about trying to fix the marriage.  They read the same stories we've read and the same...
    Changewilldoyougood Changewilldoyougood 31-35, F 26 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Does your refuser refuse to hold hands in public

    or other displays of affection? Today I took my family roller skating and I reached out to hold my wife's hand and she pulled it away, muttering under her breath, I'm not sixteen! Whatever.
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 28 Responses 2 days ago

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    Have any of you been offered a "let's have sex

    every day for a month" challenge by your partner? If so, how many days before nothing again?
    novembercomingfire novembercomingfire 41-45 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 57 Responses May 14, 2012

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 303 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Sucks

    The title might say it all..... Yes, I am married. Have been together for 13 years, and lets just say the sex life says it! I'm lucky if its once a month. Or if I get him drunk (but even that sometimes doesn't work)! I am a very sexual person. If it were up to me I would like to...
    Hannahbanana84 Hannahbanana84 26-30, F 47 Responses Sep 17, 2013

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    Hello, dear ILIASM friends.

    It's been some time since I last posted, and I figured I should peek in and leave a status update. Husband and I continue the improvement of our intimacy. It keeps getting better and better. I've noticed that our sex life seems to improve along with our relationship skills and...
    LovelyAlone LovelyAlone 36-40, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    czzinc czzinc 36-40, M 29 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    I wouldn't call it a sexless marriage we are

    starting to play with male chastity
    Endzoner Endzoner 41-45, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 41-45, F 50 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    Just A Shout Out

    I just want to say a big hello to my soon-to-be ex-husband Jay  He has taken up reading every single post of mine on here.  Beside the fact that he really needs to get a life, I wanted to welcome him.  Maybe reading a little truth and honesty would be a nice...
    k145712 k145712 36-40, F 60 Responses Mar 3, 2010

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 557 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Does anybody have advice on divorcing

    while your kids are young? I'm rationalizing that this is the only thing keeping me from leaving. I've been in a sexless marriage for about 6 years & married for 14. The sex has never been as frequent as I would like, but it's down to a 6-8 times a year ever since we became...
    Westtexan Westtexan 36-40, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Well the season of giving has come

    and gone. Christmas felt as low as I could get. If sex was to happen surely with the magic of Christmas I could make it happen. WRONG! Wifey tells me that she and a freind have volunteered to deliver a cat to a family for Christmas for the local Spca. So she has to go out. Well...
    harleyman2169 harleyman2169 41-45, M 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    **UPDATE** My husband has been proactively

    trying to reconnect without any coercing from me. We had 1 session as his drug counseling therapist together last month and it was like something just snapped into place. Last month he started asking me to sleep naked with him again and that he missed that closeness. Then he...
    asterinight asterinight 31-35, F 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 440 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    First steps? I have a 17 year marriage

    that was mostly sexless and regulated by my wife to once a month since our honeymoon. There are many issues at play in our marriage as reasons for why this is so. Much of it is in how our relationship has evolved or not evolved. We are both guilty in how we treated each other...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 18 Responses 4 days ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 41 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    The Consequences Of 'enduring'.

    I'm posting this story here even though I no longer live in a sexless relationship, because if you are currently in one, now is the time to think about what is happening to you. Your experience will not be exactly the same as mine, but I think it's likely you are going through...
    hrts hrts 41-45, F 38 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 52 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    It's amazing what a little sex will do.

    ..I wrote stories in the last few days lamenting my months long dry spell of sex and my desperation to the point of being tempted to do a FWB if the right situation presented itself. Well the other night my husband initiated sex and then I got some the next night too. He said...
    newdaynewway newdaynewway 46-50, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    I'm new to ep. Reading the shared experiences

    is helping me realise I'm not alone with my 'predicament'. Being a man I just want to fix things between us - and when I can't I'm jut getting myself more and more frustrated and depressed. I'm thinking, what the hell, I should be doing more 'for me' and not worrying so much...
    d0uggy d0uggy 36-40, M 8 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    My husband and I have been together 11 years,

    but married almost one. Our anniversary is 2/15. Anyhow, I just had a baby in September, but during that pregnancy we drifted apart. He wouldn't have sex with me because he said he was afraid he'd hurt me or the baby. I explained that it wouldn't hurt anyone and even gave him...
    ju1984 ju1984 26-30, F 21 Responses 1 day ago

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    Dream Lover Once upon a dream we danced from

    dusk till dawn holding on tight Clinging to each other like tomorrow might never come calling us I remember the smell of your hair and the scent of sweet perfume The softness of your body as you pressed against me so wickedly Pretending to be a naughty girl even though you...
    Warriorpoett Warriorpoett 56-60, M 4 mins ago

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    Varment64 Varment64 46-50, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    Not sure if I ever posted this song before,

    but I think this is the anthem of my soon to be over marriage. I imagine it's the same for many others as well. It just came on the radio and I started sobbing again. I've been an emotional wreck this weekend. LUKE BRYAN DO I Baby what are we becoming It feels just like we...
    Luckymomof2boys Luckymomof2boys 31-35, F 12 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 156 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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