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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,928 People

    Regarding Divorce My brain is a mushy

    disorganised mess. I can't concentrate, I'm easily distracted. My mind wanders. I'm finding it hard to function at an any way near productive level. I've missed an important deadline. I believe this to be normal. My therapist and Family Doctor say it will pass. But does it...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    Another football Sunday,

    and we go again... Lucy's got the ball teed up, and Charlie Brown has backed up a few yards so he can get a good running start for an hellacious kickoff!!! Oh, I'm raring to go, people. I woke up this morning and my little soldier was already doing his drill exercises. Hup...
    BinaryBill BinaryBill 61-65, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Valentine's Day is coming,

    and if you're dreading it, then take action now to give yourself the happiest day possible. If you are married to a refuser, admit that there is nothing you can do to make your spouse love you or act toward you the way you want. Presumably, since you are married, what you...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    Hello everyone. Well I too am in the sexless

    marriage. We have grown so far apart I swear it's like living with a stranger. 90% of the time he's in one room I'm in another. Rarely do we have sex. I know he's cheated because I have caught him red handed. We worked through if but now I suspect he's cheating again. He's...
    countrymama1992 countrymama1992 36-40, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    Feast or famine, right?

    Famine or feast. My wife hadn't had sex with me in, like, forever. She even told me she's asexual. We'd been "round the mulberry bush" about it in therapy. On Saturday I told her I couldn't deal with it anymore. It was just too painful. On Sunday, just hours before she was...
    BinaryBill BinaryBill 61-65, M 13 Responses 1 day ago

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    Looking back over the last 30 years I often

    wonder what would have happened if I had never married. I know for sure I wouldn't have been sexless all that time. I expect that, like when I was single I'd be still having lots of sex with a variety of women. I also often wonder that the sudden feelings of loneliness that...
    beensolong115 beensolong115 51-55, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 294 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Publico tu Oración para que le ayudes a otras

    muchas mas mujeres, así sea. PON TUS INICIALES Y LAS DE TU AMADO, HAZ LA NOVENA CON AMOR, RESPETO Y SOBRE TODO MUCHA MUCHA FE A LA REINA Y PUBLICALA EN 7 ALTARES EN AGRADECIMIENTO, ELLA TE ESCUCHARÁ NUNCA LO DUDES!! Por los poderes de la tierra, por la presencia del fuego...
    anonimato anonimato 46-50, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Is there anyone who ever hear this?

    Do you even bother to respond or do you feel as if you are crazy for expecting it? "You are responsible for your own happiness" - said when he forgot birthday/anniversary or didn't do anything to make the day special. "According to you, everything is my fault" or "Yes, use...
    lbncb lbncb 41-45 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 35 Responses Mar 31, 2015

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    2:59-3:15 http://www.

    rollingstone.com/music/news/watch-beyonces-surprise-new-video-formation-20160206 (Click on video link) I don't know about y'all - but I am looking forward to taking someone to Red Lobster!!! For those of you that are outside of the U.S. - this video is amazing (but maybe...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 101 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 175 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Post-separation musings: I am actually not

    dating at the moment, but I am considering it for the more distant future and considering if it turns out to be the case I don't feel like dating after all, would I have been better off just working on self-improvement and owning a decision to stay in a sexless marriage, letting...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Quitter My husband after seeing

    that I filed for divorce with the clerk of courts and it became real, called me a quitter. He said I always quit everything. I know that this is not true after being married to a man for almost 23 years and trying and hoping he would change. Eventually I did give up, "quit...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 53 Responses Nov 20, 2015

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 550 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    The Butterfly. A week from today,

    it's good old Saint V again. To all those who will spend the next Sunday alone, again, I have just the right movie for you. Here's a brief synopsis by Moi, those who want to watch the movie completely unspoiled, skip through to the link at the end of the story... Thank me...
    neeia neeia 41-45, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 47 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 60 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    I was in a double bind.

    I couldn't bring up the topic of sex while I was with her, because I knew she'd go on the offensive. Either that, or she'd make me crazy telling me that I was just imagining things. I didn't even feel safe talking about it when we were in couple's counseling. I couldn't...
    BinaryBill BinaryBill 61-65, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 74 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Divorce and people around me We're divorcing.

    It's now known in all our circles of friends. My friends and my family are supportive, very. I don't spend time talking badly about my soon to be ex husband, as the anger, frustration, shame has gone. I've told who needs to know, who I wanted to know about the nature of my...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 22 Responses 3 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 181 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Feeling impatient. Today I want to move on

    and have a real relationship again. I'm expecting fear / nervousness / doubt again soon....,
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Lobsters http://youtu.

    be/3aDXM5H-Fuw
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    Brief update: Last encounter she initiated

    within the week. I've not bugged or begged for sex in over a year now. Sometimes it happens multiple times a month. There has been a lapse in the year of more than a month. Still doing well, still playin "how's your love tank"
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    There's been a smattering of discussion in the

    group about Valentine's Day. So, as a public service to all of us wondering if we would have that special moment this year...
    samedeepwater samedeepwater 51-55, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 435 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Not completely sexless

    but definitely have slowed way way way down. Still love my wife and she's my best friend but I have thought about seeking sex elsewhere...
    dezainah dezainah 46-50, M 10 Responses 2 days ago

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    Celebration Since leaving my sexless marriage I

    have been on the most incredible journey of self discovery. The posts Neeia has posted recently have really triggered a great deal of emotion. She asks why when a relationship fails do we always look for how we are to blame? Recently I dated a man who told me I was broken...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 24, 2015

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    Different perspective.

    I am male 48 years old happily Married 11 years, together for 25 years. In our past we have done it a million times Our average now is once every year and a half for the past 5 years not sure what the big deal is .I'm am just old and value sleep more. Thought that was...
    Lightenup48 Lightenup48 46-50, M 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Recovering From an ILIASM Shithole.

    I am assuming this subject will not be of any interest to those who choose to stay in their deals. But it might be useful for those who are thinking about the leaving choice, and those who have recently left. Initially, you are going to be saddled with a whole heap of...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 12 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Update: I did it! Originally I planned to tell

    my husband later in the week, that I want a divorce but when he came to bed at 3 am he complained about his kidneys hurting. All I could think about was if he ends up in the hospital I will never have the guts to tell him I want out. So I decided right there and then tonight...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 40 Responses Sep 15, 2015

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 74 Responses Feb 9, 2015

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    I am both saddened and elated at the number of

    people in this group. Saddened because there are so many, and elated because I thought I was one of a very few. :/ Peace out.
    LiquidSunshine1 LiquidSunshine1 46-50, F 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    Another big step today - I sat down with my STBX

    and we worked out a plan for a settlement. It has been a rough road to get to this point. Last week I received his first offer of a settlement through my lawyer. I cried for most of the next two days. It was much, much less than I had expected and sent me into a tail spin...
    mountainrunner mountainrunner 51-55, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    stumbled upon this

    tonight: http://asexstarvedwife.tumblr.com/post/81644838669/this-is-how-you-lose-her-you-lose-her-when-you
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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