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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 48,124 People

    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    ThreeDecadesAlone ThreeDecadesAlone 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    http://dontmarry.wordpress.

    com/2009/07/23/married-men-post-here-if-you-hate-your-life-2/
    Joylush Joylush 51-55, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Scenes From An Italian Restaurant

    I sit in the quaint little Italian restaurant across the table from my husband, sipping my wine in solitude. He is distant; engrossed in something on his telephone; a text, email or something on the web - I'm not sure, but it doesn't matter.  I takea sip of the sweet red liquor...
    LadyBronte LadyBronte 46-50, F 54 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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    firefly4718 firefly4718 51-55, F 15 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    The post on the BPD Family website gave me some

    huge insight into myself. It also rang true of my relationships in life. I hope it helps some of you... http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=161524.10 Schema Mode-Lonely Child / Vulnerable Child The Lonely Child / Vulnerable Child is a maladaptive schema...
    ManMovingForward ManMovingForward 41-45, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 551 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    5 ways narcissists get inside your

    head http://selfcarehaven.wordpress.com/2014/07/21/five-powerful-ways-abusive-narcissists-get-inside-your-head/ 1. The Idealization-Devaluation-Discard Phase Narcissists and those with antisocial traits tend to subject romantic partners through three phases within a...
    zsuzsilowinger zsuzsilowinger 36-40, F 7 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    An Affair (Rule) To Remember

    Sorry, I will let all you men throw your rotten tomatoes at me, but here is some advice for the ladies from the sexless marriages who have decided to outsource. This is going to sound harsh to my male EP friends but to hell with it.  Ladies --- The numbers are way way in your...
    EinEngel EinEngel 46-50, F 156 Responses Feb 11, 2013

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 54 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    It is the bitter irony of my life

    that I am no longer getting any sex from my husband yet I am now craving more and different sexual experiences. Life is a cruel mistress.
    CagedLioness CagedLioness 41-45, F 25 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 102 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    Yesterday was National ****** Day in

    UK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2711865/Its-not-man-******-learn-Sexpert-Tracey-Cox-pleasure-bedroom-responsibility.html
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 6 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    I have a question for those in this group.

    A friend of mine said I needed to "go have fun". I am not sure I know how to do that anymore. So I pose it to you that are in similar marriages - what do you do to "go have fun"?
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 14 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    czzinc czzinc 36-40, M 28 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 278 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Okay, so I was on here a few days ago

    and told a little about my situation and history. Most people were harsh and judgmental towards me when I admitted to being the one who refused sex and even harsher when they did not believe that I love my husband enough to ask for a divorce, because I thought he would be...
    Nil0 Nil0 46-50, F 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 184 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 239 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Have any of you suffered a huge financial blow

    as a result of the divorce? Can you still say you are happier even though you are a lot bit poorer than you would have been if you had stayed in your SM?
    lycheechan lycheechan 31-35, F 10 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    interesting thread on reddit,

    at least to me. . http://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/2c43w6/discovered_my_partner_visits_here_kind_of/?limit=500 . It was interesting to hear the refuser side. She had one legit complaint, but the rest is just more refuser bull plop.
    angryspartan angryspartan 36-40, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    What A Difference 2 Years Can Make

    I arrived at EP 2 years ago today. And if you told me then, that in 2 years, I would be an entirely different person, in an entirely different place, mentally, physically,spiritually, sexually.....I would have said your nuts..You haven't a clue about anything, and obviously you...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 38 Responses Oct 15, 2012

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    I'm in a dead end marrage!

    My husband is selfish and self centered and mentally and emotional ally and verbally abusive
    Endlessuffering52 Endlessuffering52 51-55 13 Responses 1 day ago

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    I really need to write what's in my head.

    .these are thoughts I have about a book I'm reading. Does anybody else think they're a 'love addict married to a 'love avoider'?! I'd love to hear your experiences. Last night I listened intently and gave the most useful advice I could think of for my husband who has a...
    bluegreenseascape bluegreenseascape 46-50, F 9 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    It's like if he does not get his 2 times a week

    he goes extreme the other way. He flys out for work now & then and one time I was sick for the week, so it was about 2-3 weeks without by the time I asked him for it, but he turned me down saying ' why bother?' Tried to talk about it, but he is sick if talk. So now it's been...
    juzie juzie 41-45, F 12 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    So I was on here struggling with the topics of

    living in a sexless marriage, being sexually frustrated and feeling disrespected not too long ago. Although I would still love much more physical intimacy in my relationship, I have found that being open and curious, supportive and understanding makes for a much happier me as...
    picadilly1970 picadilly1970 41-45, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 102 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Why would a wife claim to

    and show that she cares about her husband... But spend 10 years as a refuser? Makes no sense to me.
    Carboholic Carboholic 36-40 18 Responses 1 day ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 37 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 35 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    My husband watches ****

    and it hurts me deeply.
    Amb505 Amb505 26-30, F 8 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 41 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Our spouse take away sex

    but is it just as bad if we in turn force our husbands and wives to have sex with us when they obviously are not interested. (By forcing I mean to guilt them into it, Incessantly complaining, threats to leave or tell others or insisting that it is their duty or we will go get...
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 12 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 47 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    hi all I am a 54 male an d have been married

    for 30 years my wife had a hysterectomy about 10 years ago and sex along with intimacy have gone down since now it is at zero my wife refuses any hormones that might or might not help I love my wife and would like to stay bit she has made it pretty clear that she is looking for...
    Nightb4 Nightb4 51-55, M 8 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    The Consequences Of 'enduring'.

    I'm posting this story here even though I no longer live in a sexless relationship, because if you are currently in one, now is the time to think about what is happening to you. Your experience will not be exactly the same as mine, but I think it's likely you are going through...
    hrts hrts 41-45, F 37 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    Report From Opposite-land

    Hello, and greetings from opposite-land, my new home! Here in "I live in a ridiculously hot sex-filled relationship" (ILIARHSFR), sex is like air or water: plentiful, necessary, constantly available. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, and sometimes even while...
    nyartgal nyartgal 36-40, F 44 Responses Dec 2, 2012

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    http://blackandmarriedwithkids.

    com/2014/06/7-ways-to-avoid-having-a-sexless-marriage/
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    so i guess my marriage is going to come to an

    end , my wife and i had a huge fight this morning , it was the first time in 13 years that ive yelled at her , to be honest i dont even feel the least bit bad about it , after all the head games and complaining and running me down , i just dont care , i have rolled over and...
    skiball5150 skiball5150 36-40, M 19 Responses 1 day ago

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    Someone Asked Me A Question Last Night...

      The question was...   so why does it take so long for us to figure this sh*t out??? IMHO... , from a woman's point of view... A sexless marriage is one of the most insidious things...  it creeps up on you, like a leopard in the grass, and before you...
    FriendofPromise FriendofPromise 51-55, F 65 Responses Oct 13, 2009

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    Just A Shout Out

    I just want to say a big hello to my soon-to-be ex-husband Jay  He has taken up reading every single post of mine on here.  Beside the fact that he really needs to get a life, I wanted to welcome him.  Maybe reading a little truth and honesty would be a nice...
    k145712 k145712 36-40, F 57 Responses Mar 3, 2010

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    Basic Mismatch

    I see lots of stories lately from people who are new and hopeful there will be a solution here they haven't thought of yet. They come here, post a story and get some feedback.  Then they go about trying to fix the marriage.  They read the same stories we've read and the same...
    Changewilldoyougood Changewilldoyougood 31-35, F 23 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    after 12 years of marriage

    and 2 1/2 years of NO sex at all... my husband walked out on me today. I feel so lost at the moment. I'm left here with 2 kids to raise. I have no money and no friends. wtf do I do now?
    helenback helenback 36-40, F 21 Responses 2 days ago

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    It's been a little over a month

    since our vacation. Everything is back to the way it was before. He hasn't been interested in sex at all. I can't say I am surprised. This is exactly what I expected It just makes me sad that it will always be this way with him.
    kflesh kflesh 46-50, F 13 Responses 1 day ago

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    I need some opinions

    as to whether I'm being a jerk. My wife has developed a medical condition that she says is making it uncomfortable to have sex and also makes her desire to have sex evaporate. I need to preface this by saying that this is certainly not the only thing reducing our sex life. It's...
    lookingforanswers1 lookingforanswers1 51-55, M 21 Responses 1 day ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Hi everybody. If you've been following me,

    you know that I recently ended my sexless, loveless, very lonely marriage. Somebody at work today asked me if I'm enjoying the single life, wink. Here's the deal. Married men are the only ones showing any interest, and it is sorta pathetic. They hold my hands, linger, tell me...
    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 36-40, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 53 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Yesterday I posted a post-divorce update - kind

    of a one year out of a SM report. A lot of the responses were about having the conviction to divorce. I looked in my journal for an entry that was indicative of my mindset as I prepared to tell my wife that I was divorcing her...this is an entry just a few days before the...
    Buroak Buroak 51-55, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 439 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Why Repairing A Sexless Marriage Is So Impossible....

    Here in our group, we often get criticized for being too negative, too willing to leave the marriage, and too unwilling to try and repair the marriage. I want to explain to new members why, all the group here is really doing, is just being honest. I want to try and explain why...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 77 Responses Nov 20, 2011

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 295 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 48 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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