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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,298 People

    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    I don't think my wife fancies me at all

    and I think she settled for me because I'm dependable and settle down material. Does anyone else have this kind of relationship?
    stuographer stuographer 36-40, M 5 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Is there anyone else out there

    who has a really good relationship with their partner but the only thing missing is sex? I'm really interested to talk with others who are in this position. It seems like in almost every post I read, the lack of sex goes along with a host of other things that are going wrong...
    unquotequote unquotequote 36-40, M 28 Responses 3 days ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    So I started typing a lengthy response to

    unquotequote's recent story and decided to toss it out as my own story instead. I will not say that everything is great in my relationship, bar the lack of sex. It's not. And the lack of sex is a HUGE thing - I have a marriage lacking the thing that actually distinguishes...
    nerio nerio 46-50, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 297 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 58 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 23 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    SexlessMESS. . The story posted by

    xglittergoddessx has me in a fix today. . 18 years ago I *chose* to marry a man, even though I *knew* he wasn't right for me. . But I had made a *commitment.* And that held all the power. . I had committed... - to a sexless marriage; - to deadend conversations about our...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Alright.. we've been together

    for over 6 years and married for a year and a half. Of course just like everyone else our relationship was real good at first had sex before work and evsry night. Now maybe once a month. This all happened right after we had our daughter. I work my *** off pay the bills make good...
    Country87 Country87 26-30, M 9 mins ago

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    Another great article about

    why marriages succeed or fail: http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 232 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    I came to this group irrationally full of hope.

    The more I read though the more I give up and feel like why even bother. How can you ever really know someone, trust someone. Maybe this is just a bad day for me, but it truly seems pointless.
    sinnaminvixen sinnaminvixen 36-40, F 17 Responses 4 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 184 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    I am sure to have a different outlook on this

    subject. I am in a sexless marriage and actually fine with it. At the risk of sounding like a true *******, I will be up front and honest by saying the sex got stale long ago anyway. After my wife had a hysterectomy a few years ago, penetration became extremely paiful for her...
    versvice versvice 41-45, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I just came across an article callex "Sexual

    Desire Descrepancy" that I think might be helpful to some of you. Here's the link: http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/7/23/he-says-i-dont-want-it-enough-i-think-he-wants-it-too-much-dealing-with-a-sexual-desire-discrepancy
    SoftWillie SoftWillie 61-65, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 165 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 197 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    I haven't had sex in over 4 years.

    My wife is uninterested in sex. I am kinky but I play it super vanilla for her and that doesn't even work. I've tried it all. She says she could live with or without sex, it's just not a big deal. often she says it's to much work. uhhg
    xjayx00 xjayx00 36-40, M 6 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 47 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    I recently found out my husband is cheating.

    He went to Bali to meet someone he met online. My son confronted him few months while he Skyped her. He explained to my son that he is having some problem with me. Son was very distraught & need to confide. He told his friends upon advice of kids helpline. I suspected as we had...
    cpep8 cpep8 51-55, F 28 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am laying in bed. My foot is broken.

    I am stuck asking for help with almost everything. When everyone was out today, my hubby finally started talking to me about my injury. I was telling him how it was just a fall but it was interesting how others felt the need to embelish the story. Shortly after that he tells...
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria 36-40 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    Status Update (this is long) Nearly 9 months

    into my wife and I both being on Wellbutrin and the marriage is still progressing. Sure, there are still some unresolved issues I am dealing with and chasing of the "whys" but even those are starting to become less important. The good news is, we continue to engage intimately...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    So I've been on quite the roller coaster these

    past few month. I'm not even sure where to begin except that I do realize I should have taken everyone's advice and followed through with therapy. I started but then I didn't like what I was hearing and I completely blew it off. I am still not happy in my marriage although...
    imagoodgrl imagoodgrl 36-40, F 8 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Here is an update to my situation.

    My official separation date was March 16, 2015. My divorce filed on July 9, 2015. I was served the papers today on July 30, 2015. The papers were a load of ambiguous bullsh!t. Barely enough to get the court to file them. I still hate my SBTX. She is still a lazy cvnt. That...
    NHotH2O NHotH2O 46-50, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 64 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    well its been a while

    since ive been on here. i have some good news. ive grown since my last post was finaly able to get a job. still in the same sexless marriage though. but i have someone looking into his sketchy behaviors. ive started drift from him myself. i no longer even try to touch him, i...
    tristaspuella tristaspuella 26-30, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    My wife and I are celebrating our 30th

    anniversary next week. We haven't had sex at all in ten years, and maybe a handful of times in 20. Basically it stopped at the conception of our last of two boys. She was fondled by a family friend when she was young. That messed her up. I understand. But I can't go on like...
    vintageport1963 vintageport1963 51-55, M 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    http://www.justiceschanfarber.

    com/marriage-why-women-leave-cheat/
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    I love him with every fiber of my being.

    We are getting married in April of 2016. We actively practice the 5 languages of love. We hold hands, we communicate, we laugh... He's my best friend. Sadly.. For almost two years now, he's only my best friend. We very seldom have sex, and I'm physically starved... down right...
    XglittergoddessX XglittergoddessX 26-30, F 27 Responses 4 days ago

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    I just came across Dr.

    Ross Rosenberg's Co-Dependency Series on You Tube and it really resonated with me. It explains why someone would stay in a very unhealthy situation.
    luvisaluneed luvisaluneed 46-50, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 554 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 52 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    The Restaurant (inspired by a mettamomma

    comment on a story) It's a great restaurant, in the ***** where fine dining is legendary. The building is art deco, a fantastic example of 1920's architecture. There is ample car parking, and the street is well lit. On entering the establishment, one is overwhelmed by the...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 23 Responses 4 days ago

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    Zzzzya Zzzzya 46-50, M 3 hrs ago

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