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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,410 People

    I have found myself reflecting on this 'Ashley

    Madison' affair gate going on this week..... Why? I wonder why so many people are desiring an affair? ..... I wonder how many people that are in a 'Sexless Marriage' that have turned to the site, for outsourcing? I believe outsourcing is much bigger than we think. Will...
    LEXUS46 LEXUS46 46-50, F 27 Responses 4 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 183 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    3 years out of my sexless marriage.

    .. Every so often, I like to check in here and give an update. And here's the latest: 3 years and a month after ending my SM, I am still a billion times happier than I was before! No regrets, no shame, no anger. Opposite Land is another planet than SM-land, just as well all...
    nyartgal nyartgal 36-40, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    How often should we be having sex.

    I'd like it every 2-3 days. Is this to little or to much?
    camosmith camosmith 36-40, M 10 Responses a week ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 436 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Hey any fun busty ladies wanna chat message me

    if that's you x UK based even better
    ilovebustyfemales ilovebustyfemales 41-45, M a week ago

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 71 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 296 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 553 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    So, I'm heading towards a SM.

    ..I've read dozens of posts here, and whats prompted me to share (rather nervously) is that I am the refuser. How did we get here? He is a wonderful man, husband, father. We are always the great team. He doesn't deserve this. I've spent a few years believing (still do sometimes...
    sunkisd25 sunkisd25 36-40, F 34 Responses a week ago

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    I really wish my husband would want me

    and pay attention to me like he does to his job and laptop. His inability to have intercourse with me was because of anxiety issues he says. That work wasn't going as it's supposed to be and that he's afraid they might go bankrupt. As a good wife, I stopped whining and...
    Alexandra0210 Alexandra0210 22-25, F 8 Responses 6 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    earthlingcc11 earthlingcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 63 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 23 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Yesterday somebody thought I was a 20 year old

    making this stuff up. I wish, though if I was writing fiction I would try 50 Shades and make a few million. The present predicament does seem quite surreal. . Today I was showing my wife one of those new sites for searching the Adultery Mad stuff, and on our fairly small...
    something2talkabout something2talkabout 51-55, M 10 Responses a week ago

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    Nothing really deep here,

    just something I was wondering. Someone I was corresponding with got me thinking about stereotypes and expectations. I know my ex doesn't represent all women any more than I represent all men. But when I read stories from women who are being refused, I often think, "why in...
    samedeepwater samedeepwater 51-55, M 12 Responses 6 days ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Why I Am For Support Groups.

    The real short answer here is that for me, they work. It doesn't mean that they'll work for anyone else. Background Due to a gambling issue in my family, I ended up joining a group called GamAnon. This group is for family / friends where there is a gambling issue in play...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sex isn't everything.

    I never thought I'd say that, but paradoxically the better your sex life the more you see sex as just another thread in the intricate tapestry of life,albeit a very important one, one you can't live without, but woven into the broader fabric with all the other innumerable parts...
    PhinheasGage PhinheasGage 46-50, M 10 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 36 Responses Mar 31

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    A simple question could it really just be about

    sex, sexual frustration. We stayed in our marriages for the positives. Someone I know left and quickly realize their life was shittier afterward (and yes there are the ones on here who's lives got better) Then there are the abused, manipulated and life is a torment but are they...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 51-55, M 13 Responses 6 days ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    I was watching Good Morning America this

    morning. They were talking about marriage. They interviewed a couple who were in their 70's or 80's. The married couple talked about their lives together. She women interviewed said "I like to hold his hand." I want someone in my life who would like to hold my hand once in...
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    There is life after an SM.

    I wasn't sure where else to post this, and all my friends are part of this group. A few weeks ago I met a very good friend from the ILIASM group; we have been friends almost 4 years and it had morphed from friendship into something possibly more. He is still trying to get out...
    misssunnybunny misssunnybunny 41-45, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have backslid significantly in the last two

    weeks. In the last month I have had sex with my husband as many times as I usually have in a year. Not for anything more than opportunity or demanding it on my part, just being honest. My quarter was up and it was a doozy. Nothing has changed otherwise. I have gained more...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 11 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 163 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Why we obsess with the "WHY"s.

    .. Floatsam101 posted a recent story: EP Link#reply_8989242 in which I shared my thoughts on why we obsess with the "why's". Bazzar was kind enough to notice that there might be some value in it, and suggested that I post it as a separate story so that my ramblings would be...
    neeia neeia 41-45, F 9 Responses a week ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Sex, Love and Emotional Connection I've been

    following the comments on a recent post 'So I'm heading for a sexless marriage' and an oft used and mostly acceptable sentiment captured my eye - essentially that women need to feel loved to have sex and men need sex to feel loved. I personally don't believe there is a gender...
    LaoTzu LaoTzu 41-45, M 14 Responses 5 days ago

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    Follow up to Dempsey22's post yesterday.

    It was my birthday recently and I got a card from my wife which said on the front '4 out of 5 birthday cards contain money'. Then on the inside it said, 'Sorry, you got the fifth!' I don't think it was intended to be ironic.
    unmatched unmatched 41-45, M 6 Responses a week ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 48 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    For me the hardest part of leaving a sexless

    marriage is going through the most difficult time in my life with no one to hold me and tell me it's going to be ok. 99% of the time I'm an independent woman but once a week I could sure use to be held in strong arms.
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 9 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    I know there are many of you

    who have been in the desert longer than I have, so I will ask, "How do you cope?" Bashing my head against the wall yields diminishing returns. I am so starved for the touch of a female who is not a family member I go crazy at times. I'm not talking sex here. Though that...
    samedeepwater samedeepwater 51-55, M 17 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sorting through my files tonight - trying to

    get the 2-drawer little cabinet ready to move to my apartment. This drawer has a folder called "stories" which does include my own poetry as well as just "helpful tidbits" and so this one is not from me obviously, but I did think it was an appropriate reflection of some stuff I...
    GrantGeek GrantGeek 46-50, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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