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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,803 People

    Happy sexless day my friends!

    May your refuser be kind enough to hear your cry and at least try to take a leap of faith.
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    At what point does my desire to enjoy the

    intimate life I yearn for outweigh the social and economic benefits of my marriage ... Moving through my weekend tasks ... I weight this out ... As many of you do too
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 14 Responses 1 day ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 555 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Question: Would you

    rather have a spouse that A: Holds you hand, cuddles you all the time, makes little romantic gestures etc but won't have sex. B: Wants sex but outside the bedroom isn't romantic, touching or says "I love you" without prompting. I know we expect/want both in marriage But I am...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 46-50, M 15 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 159 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    I was talking to my mother tonight

    and she knows everything about me wanting a divorce. I mentioned to her, last night my husband was talking about my daughter in college and how we'll all be living in our house. I didn't say anything but I thought "no we won't". So my mom said maybe you should prepare him a...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 17 Responses 3 days ago

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    So i moved this past friday 2mrw will be a week

    & i cry every night .. I move from Dade to Broward is like an hr away from where my family & friends are cause is closer to work only 2.7 miles away from my job.. But i dont know i cry everytime the night comes even thought i been less stress i been very emotional being inside...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    UPDATE on my situation

    for those that are interested (last post was here - EP Link ) Not long after I had my fling (and I managed to remain guilt free) I met another woman, one who has truly awakened my long slumbering passions. She has made me feel more alive than I've felt in almost seven years...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    Is anyone else out there married to an adult

    child of an alcoholic (ACOA)? In particular, in a sexless marriage where the refuser-spouse is ACOA? My wife is just now (in her late 50s) realizing how badly affected she is (prone to depression and anxiety) in large part to her alcoholic father and alcoholic step-father. It...
    dan13732 dan13732 46-50, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    UPDATE # 4 from EP Link And.

    ............KABOOM. It's over; just like that. Last night into this morning was my latest date with my outsourced friend. Great date....lots of laughs, HOURS of love making (didn't know I could be a workhorse). Annnnnnnnd my wife more or less found out. Just like that I am...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 19 Responses 1 day ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Another article... It seems

    that media awareness about sex starving marriages is slowly growing... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3051232/What-MONTH-without-sex-marriage-challenged-three-couples-intriguing-results.html
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    happyhornet happyhornet 46-50, M 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Regarding my previous post about my MRI.

    I got a copy of the DVD. I'm no doctor but well educated and my research has pointed out that MRI with contrast (a dye ( for simplistic terminology) is injected into the blood stream and any foreign bodies in the brain, including plaque and rumors show up white by absorbing...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Just brilliant series,

    very informative. Don't know if they are available in your country,I would strongly recommend them to anyone. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05qsll9
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 13 mins ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    My husband is controlling

    and horrible and our relationship is dead he was supposed to be leaving but never goes. I can find a married man to be with for sex if I wanted but being someone's booty call to fill the void in their marriage doesn't appeal to me ..,I'm pretty I'm kind I'm caring how have I...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    So today is ... April 23rd It's been a while

    since I posted so that makes today day 90 We play "how's your love tank less" We didn't entirely finish the love languages book We do have relations started by each of us, not just me We have arguments and less of them are as insane as they were (but some are very retarded...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    My husband kissed my best friend.

    Should I be mad? Maybe. I am the awful wife who denies sex with my husband all the time. Long story short.... We've been married 11 years and have had alot of ups and downs and ultimately for alot of reasons have found myself now completely devoid of any sexual attraction to...
    nelloyamongstelpope nelloyamongstelpope 26-30, F 43 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    so instead of continuing to just keep reliving

    groundhog day everyday , i decided to actually do something about it , the cycle of emotional abuse and head games had just gotten to be too much , so i finally actively looked for a " friend " on the side, i had been talking to a woman who was about my age ( 40 ) we had...
    skiball5150 skiball5150 36-40, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    He apologized for not responding to me .

    . I just shrugged my shoulders... It's alright .. I'll be alright
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 40 Responses Mar 31

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    So if I went to the doctor with a broken arm

    and he tried to make me feel better by fixing my legs, I'd be a bit annoyed. Especially, if afterwards he saw that I was still in pain and then got mad at me because I couldn't just stop complaining about my broken arm. My wife seems to be the perfect angel since I hit rock...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Well, it's been over two years.

    We gave it a go. And wound up right back in the same spot. We started out having lots of sex. Then it slowly dwindled... Three weeks of sex every day... Then every other... Then twice a week... Over a period of 4-5 months we were right back to the sexless state. Turns out sex...
    tkski tkski 41-45, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 44 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    This doesn't really belong in this section

    but I post almost all my stories here so I will this too. Since I told my husband I wanted a divorce I have kind of been a mess. I feel worse than I ever have. Which has really made me examine my life. The other night Girl Interrupted was on. When the movie first came out...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    So since Christmas we have had sex 4 times

    and that's only because I try to instigate it. If I was to wait for her to I would wait months and months. My marriage just fells like being back in the friend zone no intimacy just feels like I'm living with a flat m8 now :( not sure what to do as my sex drive is high not...
    Andyc1982 Andyc1982 31-35, M 9 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    So still no sex in 2015.

    I am thinking about this way too much. I need to do something.
    Bardowl15 Bardowl15 41-45, M 7 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Today is the day. At 2:30 today I go in

    for the brain MRI to check for early signs of MS. I'm a little confused on my feelings with my wife and I'm leaning to not inviting her to go with me for the diagnosis. Here's why. The other night I asked my wife if she would like to go with me to my next therapy appointment...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 18 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    My wife is distant , cold ,

    unloving and says she has no passion but won't deny me sex! She says she loves me but doesn't show it in anyway. Quick kiss at the most, no hugging, touching. She doesn't understand that lying back and being unresponsive during "sex" is totally unfulfilling and demolarising...
    jspiscean jspiscean 46-50, M 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Living in a relationship without intimacy.

    ... Both emotionally and physically... I keep going hoping that she will "wake up"... Naive?, hopeless optimistic? Or plain stupid :s?
    Raafs Raafs 36-40, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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