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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,791 People

    [The coolidge effect] I saw the below post

    and I found it quite interesting from sex refusal point of view. http://www.quora.com/What-are-some-mind-blowing-facts-that-sound-like-BS-but-are-actually-true-and-have-valid-documented-proof-of-the-fact/answer/Asif-Hussain-13?__snids__=1096366052&__nsrc__=4
    Sukraz Sukraz 41-45, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 42 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 555 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    So i moved this past friday 2mrw will be a week

    & i cry every night .. I move from Dade to Broward is like an hr away from where my family & friends are cause is closer to work only 2.7 miles away from my job.. But i dont know i cry everytime the night comes even thought i been less stress i been very emotional being inside...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 159 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Living With Dents Flowers bloom

    as Spring comes again and time passes moving on But somehow time drags as life becomes painful with sad memory Once I knew the taste of anticipation when youth made life fly by With less to look forward to days come and go mostly without note But I understand more now than I...
    Warriorpoett Warriorpoett 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Another article... It seems

    that media awareness about sex starving marriages is slowly growing... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3051232/What-MONTH-without-sex-marriage-challenged-three-couples-intriguing-results.html
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 56 Responses May 14, 2012

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    So... She decides to touch me in places she

    know will arouse me. Now I'm sitting here thinking to myself "hang on captain she's about to blow!" Now woody is here and she off to her room to go sulk. WTF! Why o why couldn't I have met a nymph. I swear that girls phone is in her hand at least 14 hours a day! Still hopeful...
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was talking to my mother tonight

    and she knows everything about me wanting a divorce. I mentioned to her, last night my husband was talking about my daughter in college and how we'll all be living in our house. I didn't say anything but I thought "no we won't". So my mom said maybe you should prepare him a...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 17 Responses 3 days ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    He apologized for not responding to me .

    . I just shrugged my shoulders... It's alright .. I'll be alright
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    UPDATE # 4 from EP Link And.

    ............KABOOM. It's over; just like that. Last night into this morning was my latest date with my outsourced friend. Great date....lots of laughs, HOURS of love making (didn't know I could be a workhorse). Annnnnnnnd my wife more or less found out. Just like that I am...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 16 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Is anyone else out there married to an adult

    child of an alcoholic (ACOA)? In particular, in a sexless marriage where the refuser-spouse is ACOA? My wife is just now (in her late 50s) realizing how badly affected she is (prone to depression and anxiety) in large part to her alcoholic father and alcoholic step-father. It...
    dan13732 dan13732 46-50, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 40 Responses Mar 31

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    Life in Opposite Land -- the Good

    and the Bad The bad: Due to the fact that my refuser had been secretly squandering our money on his overseas young mistress and the child he thought was his (info I found out when I asked for a divorce), our savings and assets were far less than they should have been. For...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 12 Responses 4 days ago

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    Nice surprise visit in the shower last weekend.

    Hope this hit with the defib paddles works forward. Know Not just sex but I miss the closeness just as much. Still on track in talking about the future of us and keeping how to improve on the table. Asked me why I want her when's she is "broken"
    GodfatherJM GodfatherJM 36-40, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Happy Monday my sexless friends!

    Kids are fast asleep. Finally I can have an hour to myself 😈
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 4 days ago

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    So today is ... April 23rd It's been a while

    since I posted so that makes today day 90 We play "how's your love tank less" We didn't entirely finish the love languages book We do have relations started by each of us, not just me We have arguments and less of them are as insane as they were (but some are very retarded...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    I've told my wife on numerous occasions how I

    feel and it makes her feel bad. She then goes on to tell me how much she cares and how she is going to try harder. Then, for like a week straight she's all over me. Tending to me physically and emotionally. I can tell she's being honest about it but I can see how she is...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    so instead of continuing to just keep reliving

    groundhog day everyday , i decided to actually do something about it , the cycle of emotional abuse and head games had just gotten to be too much , so i finally actively looked for a " friend " on the side, i had been talking to a woman who was about my age ( 40 ) we had...
    skiball5150 skiball5150 36-40, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 44 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 234 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    UPDATE on my situation

    for those that are interested (last post was here - EP Link ) Not long after I had my fling (and I managed to remain guilt free) I met another woman, one who has truly awakened my long slumbering passions. She has made me feel more alive than I've felt in almost seven years...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    WyoDoug WyoDoug 46-50, M 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    My husband is controlling

    and horrible and our relationship is dead he was supposed to be leaving but never goes. I can find a married man to be with for sex if I wanted but being someone's booty call to fill the void in their marriage doesn't appeal to me ..,I'm pretty I'm kind I'm caring how have I...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    My wife is a birdwatcher.

    She keeps several kinds bird feeders off our back deck to support and attract a variety of birds. Sounds nice. Right?If the main feeder is out of seed, she gets kind of agitated and obsesses a bit until it is filled (even if it is slightly disruptive to other things at the...
    dan13732 dan13732 46-50, M 22 Responses 4 days ago

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    So am I wrong?... I tried again tonight.

    . not once but, twice... went out to dinner with my hubby.. it was a nice dinner.. then when we went home,,, I tried to get a bit passionate with him... I was REALLY feeling it for him... and wanting him.. I'm TRYING.. climbed on top of him while he's sitting in living room...
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 18 Responses 3 days ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    At what point does my desire to enjoy the

    intimate life I yearn for outweigh the social and economic benefits of my marriage ... Moving through my weekend tasks ... I weight this out ... As many of you do too
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 13 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    So if I went to the doctor with a broken arm

    and he tried to make me feel better by fixing my legs, I'd be a bit annoyed. Especially, if afterwards he saw that I was still in pain and then got mad at me because I couldn't just stop complaining about my broken arm. My wife seems to be the perfect angel since I hit rock...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 3 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    This doesn't really belong in this section

    but I post almost all my stories here so I will this too. Since I told my husband I wanted a divorce I have kind of been a mess. I feel worse than I ever have. Which has really made me examine my life. The other night Girl Interrupted was on. When the movie first came out...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Tempus fugit Yes, time flies.

    Not as in "time flies when you're having fun without a care in the world" but as in "time flies" and you will never get back those years you lost trying to figure out the impossible! 17 years in my dysfunctional marriage, I had attempted / asked my STBX to divorce two times...
    neeia neeia 36-40, F 22 Responses 5 days ago

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