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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,434 People

    Figuring it out The story

    so far: - my wife's libido is lower than mine - she can enjoy sex once every X days - I am ok with taking care of myself for those X days after we make love - I try to pull my own weight around the house without making a big deal of it The current challenge: after those X days...
    bspoke bspoke 46-50, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    So your partner has stopped being interested in

    you. Do you see that in other facets of their lives, they stop trying, settle. When you go out they don't care about their appearance, weight, health, dare I say cleanliness. Jumping into a consuming hobbies, distractions etc. To me that would explain a lot. Personally my wife...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 51-55, M 22 Responses 1 day ago

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    I hope this advice-seeker finds I Live in a

    Sexless Marriage.... "DEAR ABBY: The wedding night I had dreamed about forever was supposed to be the most romantic and amazing of my life with the one person I can't live without. Instead, it was the most humiliating experience I have ever had. I dressed in a beautiful...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Does anyone else find

    that self-love just reminds you more of what's missing from your life?
    scrimshaw scrimshaw 46-50, M 14 Responses 2 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Am3917 Am3917 22-25, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    earthlingcc11 earthlingcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    kimcc11 kimcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    For me the hardest part of leaving a sexless

    marriage is going through the most difficult time in my life with no one to hold me and tell me it's going to be ok. 99% of the time I'm an independent woman but once a week I could sure use to be held in strong arms.
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Update: First Court Appearance Restless

    sleep Nauseated Nervous tummy Multiple bathroom trips Dressy attire Ridiculously early Pacing, texting, sweating Lorazepam Minimal crying Kick-*** lawyer Deadbeat respondent Equally despicable representation Lies, delays, withholding of information Financially frozen More...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 183 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 231 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    I've been away for a while,

    it appears. I suspect that success stories in ILIASM forums are rare for two reasons: 1. Anyone who has one leaves and doesn't look back 2. There aren't many of them in the first place Back in March we seemed to have something of a breakthrough in my own SM and it seemed that...
    Consensus Consensus 31-35 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    I'm a strong & confident woman.

    I understand & embrace my sexuality. I'm open minded, curious & explorative about new sexual experiences. I'm upfront about my needs & desires. I'm easy to engage with new sexual concepts. I'm encouraging of other people's fantasies. I'm vocal about my thoughts. But my wife...
    Curiousmissy Curiousmissy 31-35, F 9 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    061462j 061462j 51-55, F 31 Responses 1 day ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Tell me about having tough conversations with

    passive refusers I need tactics
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 15 Responses 3 days ago

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    I've had sex With a few guys

    who are in sexless marriage and I love it!!!!! It's such a turn on having sex with guys your not supposed too;)
    lovestobefucked lovestobefucked 18-21, F 14 Responses 2 days ago

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    Hey any fun busty ladies wanna chat message me

    if that's you x UK based even better
    ilovebustyfemales ilovebustyfemales 41-45, M 1 day ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    I was thinking of telling my H tonight

    that I'm going to a therapist next week because I'm not happy and not happily married as a way of easing into it and then mid month 9/17 tell him I want a divorce. What do you think?
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 35 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 36 Responses Mar 31

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 71 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 48 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    I propose an ILIASM nunnery.

    We can enjoy each other's company, support each other. This is not a prudish nunnery so one night "indiscretions" are allowed. One might say even encouraged. But any expectations for a relationship beyond that lead to disappointment, so these thoughts are not encouraged...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 13 Responses 5 days ago

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    September has arrived.

    I plan to tell my husband this month that I want a divorce. Originally I planned to stay married another 4 years to pay off our debts and make a clean break. I changed my mind, I'm getting out. I met with an attorney and figured out a way that I will be able to support...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 51 Responses 4 days ago

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    Been married since 1975.

    ..she was 19, I was 21...we have 3 grown children, 5 grandchildren..we've built a comfortable life together....but the attraction is gone, due to several factors...mental abuse, neglect, selfishness...as well as many other factors that will destroy any relationship...all...
    guitarman493 guitarman493 61-65, M 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 436 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Playing the Pokies (probably better known in

    some jurisdictions as slot machines) In my jurisdiction, the Pokies - by Govt decree - must return 85% of throughput over a 12 month period to the mugs who play these gambling machines. Of course the great hidden scheme of these things means that you put in 100%, and...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 23 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 296 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 76 Responses Feb 9

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 197 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Sorting through my files tonight - trying to

    get the 2-drawer little cabinet ready to move to my apartment. This drawer has a folder called "stories" which does include my own poetry as well as just "helpful tidbits" and so this one is not from me obviously, but I did think it was an appropriate reflection of some stuff I...
    GrantGeek GrantGeek 46-50, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    I live in a sexless marriage.

    We have sex approximately 4 times a year, I call it quarterly sex. This is intolerable and I'd leave except I have 4 young kids. Worse than the lack of sex is her aversion to any sort of human touch. No hugs, no kisses, no goodbyes, no welcome home and only one I love you in...
    Naghtybitz Naghtybitz