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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,438 People

    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 231 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 183 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    yousentmeflying yousentmeflying 22-25, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 296 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Does anyone else find

    that self-love just reminds you more of what's missing from your life?
    scrimshaw scrimshaw 46-50, M 14 Responses 4 days ago

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    Figuring it out The story

    so far: - my wife's libido is lower than mine - she can enjoy sex once every X days - I am ok with taking care of myself for those X days after we make love - I try to pull my own weight around the house without making a big deal of it The current challenge: after those X days...
    bspoke bspoke 46-50, M 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Tell me about having tough conversations with

    passive refusers I need tactics
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 15 Responses 4 days ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    I was on this site previously,

    but deleted my account. I lived in a sexless marriage for about 15 years. This April, I left my wife. The ultimate cause for my leaving was the fact that she is NPD (Google that). Really, though if you are living in a sexless marriage, there is a reason for it. Generally, I...
    GrayDogGuy GrayDogGuy 46-50, M 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    I've been away for a while,

    it appears. I suspect that success stories in ILIASM forums are rare for two reasons: 1. Anyone who has one leaves and doesn't look back 2. There aren't many of them in the first place Back in March we seemed to have something of a breakthrough in my own SM and it seemed that...
    Consensus Consensus 31-35 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    I live in a sexless marriage.

    We have sex approximately 4 times a year, I call it quarterly sex. This is intolerable and I'd leave except I have 4 young kids. Worse than the lack of sex is her aversion to any sort of human touch. No hugs, no kisses, no goodbyes, no welcome home and only one I love you in...
    Naghtybitz Naghtybitz 41-45, M 15 Responses 4 days ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 76 Responses Feb 9

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    Hey any fun busty ladies wanna chat message me

    if that's you x UK based even better
    ilovebustyfemales ilovebustyfemales 41-45, M 3 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    kimcc11 kimcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Update: First Court Appearance Restless

    sleep Nauseated Nervous tummy Multiple bathroom trips Dressy attire Ridiculously early Pacing, texting, sweating Lorazepam Minimal crying Kick-*** lawyer Deadbeat respondent Equally despicable representation Lies, delays, withholding of information Financially frozen More...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 18 Responses 1 day ago

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    Two years post divorce

    after a 34-year marriage, the last 8 years of which (and many others including 5 consecutive years) were completely sexless. Here are some reflections about my life. In the divorce settlement, I got the house we had lived in for 21 years. Unfortunately, due to my husband's...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    HonestSid HonestSid 41-45, M 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    Transitioning from "Victim" to "Chooser" The

    premise here, is that you are in an ILIASM shithole, and are presently in an inert position. You 'don't know what to do' or you 'can't possibly leave'. In other words, you are in an inert position, a 'victim' of circumstances. This, is not a good position to be in. It means...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 6 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    Been married since 1975.

    ..she was 19, I was 21...we have 3 grown children, 5 grandchildren..we've built a comfortable life together....but the attraction is gone, due to several factors...mental abuse, neglect, selfishness...as well as many other factors that will destroy any relationship...all...
    guitarman493 guitarman493 61-65, M 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 277 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    I'm a strong & confident woman.

    I understand & embrace my sexuality. I'm open minded, curious & explorative about new sexual experiences. I'm upfront about my needs & desires. I'm easy to engage with new sexual concepts. I'm encouraging of other people's fantasies. I'm vocal about my thoughts. But my wife...
    Curiousmissy Curiousmissy 31-35, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Never would have imagined

    that marriage could make you feel so lonely. Drains a person.
    cabbagee cabbagee 46-50, F 4 Responses 40 mins ago

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    I have backslid significantly in the last two

    weeks. In the last month I have had sex with my husband as many times as I usually have in a year. Not for anything more than opportunity or demanding it on my part, just being honest. My quarter was up and it was a doozy. Nothing has changed otherwise. I have gained more...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 16 Responses 5 days ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    So your partner has stopped being interested in

    you. Do you see that in other facets of their lives, they stop trying, settle. When you go out they don't care about their appearance, weight, health, dare I say cleanliness. Jumping into a consuming hobbies, distractions etc. To me that would explain a lot. Personally my wife...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 51-55, M 23 Responses 2 days ago

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    Playing the Pokies (probably better known in

    some jurisdictions as slot machines) In my jurisdiction, the Pokies - by Govt decree - must return 85% of throughput over a 12 month period to the mugs who play these gambling machines. Of course the great hidden scheme of these things means that you put in 100%, and...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 553 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    I've had sex With a few guys

    who are in sexless marriage and I love it!!!!! It's such a turn on having sex with guys your not supposed too;)
    lovestobefucked lovestobefucked 18-21, F 14 Responses 3 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    earthlingcc11 earthlingcc11 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Another update from part-time opposite land.

    ... I've been staying at my new place about 3-4 times a week. I'm home when my daughter is, but am otherwise away. Still working on my eating disorder and that's going well. I'm officially a size 4, up from a size 0. Personally, i don't think I need to gain the last 8-10 pounds...
    SoDone1492 SoDone1492 46-50, F 4 Responses 54 mins ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 197 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 63 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    http://www.womenshealthmag.

    com/sex-and-relationships/living-in-sexless-marriage
    lycheechan lycheechan 36-40, F 2 days ago

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    It's a strange thing .

    ...... Facebook, that is. Liars are always found out in the end.
    Steviepro Steviepro 46-50, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    I don't really know how to write this without

    sounding like some kind of perv, I just hope you can see the experience for what it was, more sad than anything else. I was involved in a training exercise that placed me in a room full of secretaries, all women, most married. Without being too specific and losing the point of...
    greenarrow02170 greenarrow02170 51-55, M 6 Responses