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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,835 People

    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 57 Responses May 14, 2012

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    So my wife and I had 2 serious conversations

    about our situation a few days ago. Seems like progress. In the course of the conversations my wife said that she was unhappy with herself in general and she thought that she was slowly 'getting herself' back, physically and emotionally. She said that she wanted to be 'a wife...
    lookingforanswers1 lookingforanswers1 51-55, M 8 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 46-50, F 39 Responses Mar 31

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Well hubby & i R moving 2gether

    or we think we are we need to talk & see what happens.. Now our kids they didnt take the news to welcoming!!!!! My daughtet told me mom u should fix urself 1st !!!!! Lose weigh & go out with dad on dates! My boy was like u guys should talk, but he didnt sound to happy about the...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    Would love a one night stand right

    now with a really nice good looking guy anyone like to help me
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    trueman4d trueman4d 26-30, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    https://youtu.be/F0WJVxWiQWY I pray one day I

    will feel this passionate and crazy love again towards someone. And I pray he will feel the same way about it too. Good night everybody! Sweet dreams!
    Reihino27 Reihino27 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Stupid me! Thinking of things are getting

    better! No, it is just a fake temporary mirage! Things will be the same.
    Raisingup Raisingup 31-35, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 234 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    I assume most people on here would disagree

    with this at least to an extent but this is still my advice. I had everything planned when I left my marriage. I was debating it for over two years and about a six months before really put everything in motion. I had everything planned to a T except how I would feel. I...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 16 Responses 5 days ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 77 Responses Feb 9

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    So is like this the kids R against it!

    !!!!!! Today i told my daughter in the phone i haven't connected the internet being a teenager she like mom why havent u connected the internet.. Sl i told her maybe ill b moving back with your dad!!! I dont know if it was that she been super stressed with finals & a cold & she...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    All the articles, books us foreplay starts with

    the man doing work and saying and doing romantic things. I give my wife a back rub, make dinner while she was napping and even clean up after, and the response I get when trying to be romantic, I just don't feel it. Why do I even try, because I am a fool.
    Fotoman Fotoman 46-50, M 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Full disclosure...my marriage isn't "sexless"

    in terms of frequency. As I stated in my first post my wife is a self proclaimed "sure thing." From a quantity standpoint, I have no business posting in this group. Having said that, it's the quality that's an issue. Although not exactly the same as truly sexless, it lacks...
    ethotmail ethotmail 41-45, M 14 Responses 4 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    I had an affair it's over

    now I miss the chemisty and the excitement I can't leave my marriage various reasons but would not say not to another affair if the chemisty was right
    naughtyprincess15 naughtyprincess15 26-30, F 18 Responses 1 day ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 160 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    It's only been about a month

    but a lot has happened. My stbx is purchasing a condo about 8 miles away. The closing was yesterday. Her daughter had to attend the paperwork session for her because she is in the hospital recuperating from a hysterectomy. She had been experiencing a good deal of pain and...
    worksforme2 worksforme2 66-70, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 276 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Hello to all! I was encouraged by my dear

    friend confidant and my love to write about something I brought up in one of our conversations. It was the thinking that is it me that caused our partners to turn the way they did into refusers. What if it was our way of loving them sexually and physically. Now I know we are...
    uncorkyoursoul uncorkyoursoul 56-60, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 44 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Just an Update... I had my first therapy

    session on Friday. It was fine. She was very nice. I am not a very talkative person and I'm extremely private so it was hard to tell her what I did and I didn't really tell her a lot yet. One thing we talked about was the guilt I feel for leaving my husband. She had me list...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 15 Responses 1 day ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    I am a single man and I want to get married,

    but when I read all the experiences here I get scared from being in the same situation. Why do people live in sexless marriage?????
    hicham28 hicham28 26-30, M 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    A little humour injected into the SM group.

    ...This is why you should never take your wife to the state fair...My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said:"THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR"My...
    2BlossomBlue 2BlossomBlue 51-55, F 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    Consequences - As I extract myself from my

    sexless marriage, my "bad guy" T-shirt is tightening around me and making it hard to breathe. My sixteen year-old daughter (the youngest) blames our divorce on me, and has joined my STBX in accusing me of cheating on him. My daughter barely speaks to me now, and our...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 17 Responses 4 days ago

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    I did live in a sexless marriage

    until a month ago. I finally had the courage to leave, to stand up and fight for myself! I didn't leave based solely on no sex. He was emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive as well. I wish I had done it sooner but I just didn't have any fight left in me, he had taken that...
    moeshajo moeshajo 36-40, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    How To Handle A Sexless Marriage? Have Sex.

    I am horrified by the recent increase in trollish, drive-by advice, telling ILIASMers that the solution to all their problems lie in having sex, outsourcing, going on a spree, investing in sex toys, or some other idiotic ideas like that. The people or bots giving this advice...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 31 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 72 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    So I'm once again in a dry patch.

    Haven't found the courage to leave but this time it's different. I now know she doesn't love me. She told me herself in the most cruel and cold way. She mocks me in her rage, and emasculates me in her rants. I never use to be so weak. I was a strong confident man. I had the...
    Sinnister Sinnister 31-35, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    I want to know how people define "sexless".

    Presumably this site exists because of this phenom, no? But like for me It's not like there isn't any in my relationship; it's underwhelming and about 90% less than what I would like it to be.
    deleted deleted 26-30 15 Responses 4 days ago

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    I am planning to leave my wife

    when the kids grow up . That will not be for ten years or so but the thought that there is an exit gives me some solace . However, am I being deceitful by continuing the marriage when I know I plan to leave. Also will I really leave in ten years, or will I just keep going in an...
    sadman777 sadman777 41-45, M 12 Responses 3 days ago

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    I mentioned in my last post a joint visit to

    the psychologist, he reminded me there were other things about each other other than being great lovers,,, granted that is true,,, after all these are the reasons we stay right? Or perhaps the kids,, the finances,, comfortable at home ... So I was asked by psychologist to name...
    saxappeal saxappeal 46-50, F 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    So frustrated! I work all day at a great paying

    job. The only downfall is I only get to see my wife about 30 minutes a day. I come home early tonight to surprise her and find her in bed reading. She puts it aside and rolls over on to her side to talk to me. I reach to the side table and get the massage oil and begin to give...
    good4nothin1 good4nothin1 31-35, M 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    It is bitter to see people who can't let go of

    someone or something for fear of emptiness In their life - yet their spirits are wasting away because they choose to hold on. ~Dodinsky
    silverfox54 silverfox54 61-65, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I had a talk with my kids this weekend

    regarding one property that I bought ( a small lot) which I decided to sell to a cousin before the making of the deed of sale because it will be another property which is conjugal. My kids were telling me to do it. I was like .." Are you okay with that?" They replied... " Mom...
    lemongrass09 lemongrass09 46-50, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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