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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,305 People

    I am sure to have a different outlook on this

    subject. I am in a sexless marriage and actually fine with it. At the risk of sounding like a true *******, I will be up front and honest by saying the sex got stale long ago anyway. After my wife had a hysterectomy a few years ago, penetration became extremely paiful for her...
    versvice versvice 41-45, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I recently found out my husband is cheating.

    He went to Bali to meet someone he met online. My son confronted him few months while he Skyped her. He explained to my son that he is having some problem with me. Son was very distraught & need to confide. He told his friends upon advice of kids helpline. I suspected as we had...
    cpep8 cpep8 51-55, F 29 Responses 3 days ago

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    http://www.justiceschanfarber.

    com/marriage-why-women-leave-cheat/
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I just came across an article callex "Sexual

    Desire Descrepancy" that I think might be helpful to some of you. Here's the link: http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/7/23/he-says-i-dont-want-it-enough-i-think-he-wants-it-too-much-dealing-with-a-sexual-desire-discrepancy
    SoftWillie SoftWillie 61-65, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Another great article about

    why marriages succeed or fail: http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    Im sick of living in a sexless marriage

    and more sick o watching TV where the couples fall all over each other declaring how sexually beautiful they are. I think my husband has a lot of nerve to watch that rap when i ***** all the wAy through it! But mostly im pissed that he cant even take it as a tip to say...
    bonniblu bonniblu 46-50, F 7 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    So I started typing a lengthy response to

    unquotequote's recent story and decided to toss it out as my own story instead. I will not say that everything is great in my relationship, bar the lack of sex. It's not. And the lack of sex is a HUGE thing - I have a marriage lacking the thing that actually distinguishes...
    nerio nerio 46-50, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 52 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    I had an ex 10 years ago,

    and we weren't the most lovey dovey perfect couple. I met up with her every weekend or so, and frankly, -I'll admit- I wasn't too into her. But my ex, on the other hand, was completely obsessed with me. Obsessed. I mean, I used to love her very much. She had the most tiny...
    ymmas777 ymmas777 22-25, M 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 23 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    I'd like to thank this group.

    .. I left my sexless marriage earlier this year after 2 years of marriage (6 year relationship), we had sex 5 times during our marriage. I don't know what made me decide to marry him as our relationship had been sexless for a while. I suppose I stifled my wants and needs and due...
    Flugabelle Flugabelle 26-30, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 37 Responses Mar 31

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    Last night at dinner my wife accused me of

    flirting with the waitress because I asked her to tell the manager to start carrying my beer again. Wife got irritated at the waitress because she never asked if wife wanted a refill on her beer. I offered to call the waitress over and wife refused. Her and my idea of flirting...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I haven't had sex in over 4 years.

    My wife is uninterested in sex. I am kinky but I play it super vanilla for her and that doesn't even work. I've tried it all. She says she could live with or without sex, it's just not a big deal. often she says it's to much work. uhhg
    xjayx00 xjayx00 36-40, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Does this group ever see any posts from

    refusers - at any point in their relationship? I'm not getting any rational discussion from my wife on the topic and truly want perspective.
    jgpindy jgpindy 36-40, M 20 Responses 5 days ago

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    Why is it that so many of us struggle with

    making decisions around, and talking about, The Hard Stuff? . Before telling my STBX (do you know how long I have waited to use that acronym?????) that we are separating, I had so much anxiety over being the bad guy. You know, the one who has to say the words, "This marriage is...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    Another massive argument/slanging match.

    This time he's the victor and I'm licking my wounds. I keep hearing in my head.... "This IS all you fault, you brought this on. This your fault, you are to blame". Again and again. Its like my self concious has abandoned me too. Its like its easier to blame myself.....I must...
    lass1 lass1 41-45, F 17 Responses 3 days ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 165 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    So I've been on quite the roller coaster these

    past few month. I'm not even sure where to begin except that I do realize I should have taken everyone's advice and followed through with therapy. I started but then I didn't like what I was hearing and I completely blew it off. I am still not happy in my marriage although...
    imagoodgrl imagoodgrl 36-40, F 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    I stumbled upon this article

    and want to know your thoughts. http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2013/01/understanding-men-5-insights-on-men-to-ease-your-worries/
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria 36-40 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Is there anyone else out there

    who has a really good relationship with their partner but the only thing missing is sex? I'm really interested to talk with others who are in this position. It seems like in almost every post I read, the lack of sex goes along with a host of other things that are going wrong...
    unquotequote unquotequote 36-40, M 28 Responses 4 days ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 153 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    It Ain't So Important "What" You Choose - - - -

    - But it is critical that you DO choose. (Readers might choose to file this story under 'self indulgent bullshit) No-one gets a pass on choice - although we like to kid ourselves that we do, at times. That we are "helpless victims of circumstances". That we are "prisoners...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 58 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Status Update (this is long) Nearly 9 months

    into my wife and I both being on Wellbutrin and the marriage is still progressing. Sure, there are still some unresolved issues I am dealing with and chasing of the "whys" but even those are starting to become less important. The good news is, we continue to engage intimately...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    sunnysokhal sunnysokhal 26-30, M 13 hrs ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 64 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Here is an update to my situation.

    My official separation date was March 16, 2015. My divorce filed on July 9, 2015. I was served the papers today on July 30, 2015. The papers were a load of ambiguous bullsh!t. Barely enough to get the court to file them. I still hate my SBTX. She is still a lazy cvnt. That...
    NHotH2O NHotH2O 46-50, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Zzzzya Zzzzya 46-50, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 232 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    I don't think my wife fancies me at all

    and I think she settled for me because I'm dependable and settle down material. Does anyone else have this kind of relationship?
    stuographer stuographer 36-40, M 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    well its been a while

    since ive been on here. i have some good news. ive grown since my last post was finaly able to get a job. still in the same sexless marriage though. but i have someone looking into his sketchy behaviors. ive started drift from him myself. i no longer even try to touch him, i...
    tristaspuella tristaspuella 26-30, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    The more I get settled into my new life,

    the more the point is driven home that my life has changed drastically in the last year. I have just this summer moved out, but the transformation started long before and really accelerated in the last year. Feelings bubble to the surface some days, like today. I feel naked...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 10 Responses 2 days ago

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