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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 48,604 People

    Last night my father in law (lives with us in

    the front wing of our house) had my wife and daughter come in the room. In order to keep this story short I am going to give you the main points. He told my daughter he knows how very smart she is and he is tired of seeing her waste it. She either gets a job or goes to college...
    NHotH2O NHotH2O 46-50, M 14 Responses 1 day ago

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    So, after my retarded *** decided to sfrew up

    our family day, i learned some things about my relationship. It would appear that i blew stuff out of proportion and misunderstood what was being said. God, just once i would like it if i could stop screwing things up with this. Yes, our marriage is sexless, but i am really...
    Rednkfireftr Rednkfireftr 31-35, M 11 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    "Why don't you just admit you don't want me to

    touch you ever?" These words cam out of my mouth this morning after a bunch of petty back & forth sniping. It started with me making a playful comment about seeing her wearing just a long necklace & her responding that there were kids & grand kids around. There aren't. The...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 19 Responses 1 day ago

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    Just A Shout Out

    I just want to say a big hello to my soon-to-be ex-husband Jay  He has taken up reading every single post of mine on here.  Beside the fact that he really needs to get a life, I wanted to welcome him.  Maybe reading a little truth and honesty would be a nice...
    k145712 k145712 36-40, F 58 Responses Mar 3, 2010

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 50 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    czzinc czzinc 36-40, M 28 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    I'll miss my dogs most

    when I leave my husband. Isn't that sad!? I will try to take one but I have five. I'm not staying for my children because they are grown. But I'm worried about my dang dogs!
    dyingalittleeveryday dyingalittleeveryday 41-45, F 8 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Why Repairing A Sexless Marriage Is So Impossible....

    Here in our group, we often get criticized for being too negative, too willing to leave the marriage, and too unwilling to try and repair the marriage. I want to explain to new members why, all the group here is really doing, is just being honest. I want to try and explain why...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 79 Responses Nov 20, 2011

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    I had a thought today.

    Has anyone tried to direct their refuser to EP? My wife and I each have our own laptops, she leaves hers around the house so it's easy to access. I was thinking of putting a story from our forum up on one of her tabs in her browser. I'd just have to find a story that is...
    LifeinWoodinville LifeinWoodinville 41-45, M 17 Responses 1 day ago

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    So I rented a huge *** Uhaul yesterday,

    and got rid of the couch my X slept on for years, and i gave away his beloved table that he purchased without consulting me first LOL. I no longer have those emotional eyesores to look at.
    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 41-45, F 9 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 186 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    I posted this song in response to another member

    and I thought I would share it here as well. I have always been a music lover (lyrics,word), and I like to credit this song for forcing me to face the fact that my entire marriage was a lie. Lalah Hathaway - Lie to Me http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vNt4v39qCQ0 Maybe this...
    Insearchofmenow Insearchofmenow 31-35 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 239 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Can we revisit the topic of outsourcing?

    I would like input on this as a viable option for someone who stays. Yes i know i should leave and be proper but it just isnt going to happen. My situation is unique.
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria 36-40 16 Responses 1 day ago

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    Basic Mismatch

    I see lots of stories lately from people who are new and hopeful there will be a solution here they haven't thought of yet. They come here, post a story and get some feedback.  Then they go about trying to fix the marriage.  They read the same stories we've read and the same...
    Changewilldoyougood Changewilldoyougood 31-35, F 23 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 102 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    I am back in 'our' appartment.

    I have three younger siblings to keep company and help with the packing. I was expecting to be somewhat emotionaly distraught. Packing and leaving this appartment, country for good. Packing his things. But I feel nothing. Zip. zit.nada. Not a thing. Waiting for the other shoe...
    coolvolatile coolvolatile 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Anybody from Wa? I just want someone to talk

    and find a new friend who share the same situation as me.
    adamclip adamclip 26-30, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 72 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 552 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 55 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 37 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 46 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 64 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Waking Up Together.....

    My spouse and our therapist said I am wrong. I am 48 years old, I was in law enforcement for 29 of those years - dealing with everyone else's problems in their living rooms at 3am. I am the father of two successful, happy, beautiful adult children who are my best friends. I have...
    ThreeDecadesAlone ThreeDecadesAlone 46-50, M 30 Responses Nov 17, 2012

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    So here it goes I've been married

    for 20 yrs and the last 5 have been so lonely once to the point of suicide it's so heartbreaking that the man I love won't touch me or kiss me doesn't show any affection at all sex is a memory long ago I'm 38 he's 40. He's always says its not normal for me to have a high sex...
    RavenV180 RavenV180 36-40, F 16 Responses 1 day ago

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    I don't even know where to start.

    I'm married to the girl of my dreams finally. This is my 4th marriage. Turns out she was there all along. Anyway we've been married a year. At 1st the sex was amazing!!! Couldn't get enough. Now...I want to be clear I was severely injured in a car wreck 13 years ago and am...
    Jet1975 Jet1975 36-40, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    "Sexual Aversion Disorder" I am not sure

    if anyone has ever posted about this in this group...Actually I am sure someone has but I cannot find such post. apparently there is an acknowledged mental disorder called "Sexual Aversion Disorder." Depending on which site or book you are reading, Folks with said disorder are...
    JackHawthorne JackHawthorne 31-35, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    So saddly, this i think is how it will be.

    This morni f, i was trying to be playfull with my wife and all she did was tell me to stop. This to me says that obviously, the intamacy is officialy gone. I want it to be there so much
    Rednkfireftr Rednkfireftr 31-35, M 6 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Someone Asked Me A Question Last Night...

      The question was...   so why does it take so long for us to figure this sh*t out??? IMHO... , from a woman's point of view... A sexless marriage is one of the most insidious things...  it creeps up on you, like a leopard in the grass, and before you...
    FriendofPromise FriendofPromise 51-55, F 65 Responses Oct 13, 2009

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    I went to my first therapy session today.

    . I was so nervous that I almost threw up before walking in... Then I realized I was nervous because I was going to tell someone what has been happening and I knew she was going to validate what I already know. I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship with an alcoholic.. I...
    kathryn30 kathryn30 26-30, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Neglect - One of the most important things I've

    learned from my decision to end my sexless marriage is that I will never again tolerate being neglected by my partner. We all deserve to be nurtured by the people we choose to be our partners in life, and if we feel neglected or unappreciated by them, then we need to make sure...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 439 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    I posted about a week ago my sexless experience.

    .my partner and I have zero sex and it doesn't appear as though it is going to change any time soon as he has now told me I just need to outsource if I want sex. Wow that was yet another beating to my already diminished self-esteem. He would rather another man sweating on top...
    coffeedrop83 coffeedrop83 26-30, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    An Affair (Rule) To Remember

    Sorry, I will let all you men throw your rotten tomatoes at me, but here is some advice for the ladies from the sexless marriages who have decided to outsource. This is going to sound harsh to my male EP friends but to hell with it.  Ladies --- The numbers are way way in your...
    EinEngel EinEngel 46-50, F 157 Responses Feb 11, 2013

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    I did too now divorced

    and still sexless. Want that to change but want a good woman to share life with too
    hermosa3591 hermosa3591 61-65, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 200 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    ThreeDecadesAlone ThreeDecadesAlone 46-50, M 152 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 134 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 55 Responses May 14, 2012

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    The Consequences Of 'enduring'.

    I'm posting this story here even though I no longer live in a sexless relationship, because if you are currently in one, now is the time to think about what is happening to you. Your experience will not be exactly the same as mine, but I think it's likely you are going through...
    hrts hrts 41-45, F 37 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    What A Difference 2 Years Can Make

    I arrived at EP 2 years ago today. And if you told me then, that in 2 years, I would be an entirely different person, in an entirely different place, mentally, physically,spiritually, sexually.....I would have said your nuts..You haven't a clue about anything, and obviously you...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 37 Responses Oct 15, 2012

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    I am so exhausted from the roller coaster.

    Not enough sex, talk to my husband about it. Fights and tries to blame me so make whatever changes but ultimately promises it will get better. Things are hot and heavy for a few day and we get along amazing outside of the bed too and then we skip a day and it is back to...
    newdaynewway newdaynewway 46-50, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 279 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Scenes From An Italian Restaurant

    I sit in the quaint little Italian restaurant across the table from my husband, sipping my wine in solitude. He is distant; engrossed in something on his telephone; a text, email or something on the web - I'm not sure, but it doesn't matter.  I takea sip of the sweet red liquor...
    LadyBronte LadyBronte 46-50, F 54 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 101 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Rose Royce - "Love Don't Live Here Anymore"

    exactly how i feel... http://youtu.be/V5gFAiPJhvI
    brokenwing7117 brokenwing7117 41-45, M 17 hrs ago

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    Feeling sorry for myself tonight.

    I allow myself that much once every few months. There is a sadness I did not know existed until it overtook me. When you actively work to feel happy or excited about something each day so that it becomes your job. When you can’t find the silver lining, when you can no...
    thescarletibis thescarletibis 41-45, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 39 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Okay, so after several arfairs on

    both our parts, and me getting on some meds for mental health, me and my wife decided to give it a serious try and save our 10 yr mariage. Foor over 8 we have been falking apart, and have pretty much been in a totaly loveless mariage as well as sexless. But now the love is...
    Rednkfireftr Rednkfireftr 31-35, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I just want to give an update.

    My divorce was finalized this past Wednesday. My wife's last words to me were "Have a nice life." I am currently living with my best friend while I get back on my feet. My sons are with their mother for the school year. We agreed that was best and she and I are getting along...
    NMBtruth1 NMBtruth1 41-45, M 13 Responses 5 hrs ago

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