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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,934 People

    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 74 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 181 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    OK my dear EPers ...I did it.

    I told him that it is time to put this lousy marriage out if its misery. The conversation went remarkably well. I had no clue how it would go. The thing is that the sex thing only factored in slightly - there are so many other problems. He even seemed encouraged to make friends...
    momtonandg momtonandg 46-50, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    My husband and I have been married

    for 3 years and it has never been easy. We both work the same demanding job and have had many ups and downs. Lately I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. He is so focused on playing video games it's like he's not even a husband and more so a roommate. We still sleep in the same...
    confused500 confused500 22-25, F 20 Responses 1 day ago

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    stumbled upon this

    tonight: http://asexstarvedwife.tumblr.com/post/81644838669/this-is-how-you-lose-her-you-lose-her-when-you
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am beginning to understand more about what

    bazzar says about the beauty of preparation and opportunity coming together. Being on the fence about a decision of whether to stay or go, is not a part of this. If you want to go, make the decision, and fully accept that this is what you want to do. Fully making and accepting...
    wdftbc wdftbc 41-45, M 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    Valentine's Day is coming,

    and if you're dreading it, then take action now to give yourself the happiest day possible. If you are married to a refuser, admit that there is nothing you can do to make your spouse love you or act toward you the way you want. Presumably, since you are married, what you...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 435 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Update: I did it! Originally I planned to tell

    my husband later in the week, that I want a divorce but when he came to bed at 3 am he complained about his kidneys hurting. All I could think about was if he ends up in the hospital I will never have the guts to tell him I want out. So I decided right there and then tonight...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 40 Responses Sep 15, 2015

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 35 Responses Mar 31, 2015

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 101 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Celebration Since leaving my sexless marriage I

    have been on the most incredible journey of self discovery. The posts Neeia has posted recently have really triggered a great deal of emotion. She asks why when a relationship fails do we always look for how we are to blame? Recently I dated a man who told me I was broken...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 52 Responses Sep 24, 2015

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    Brief update: Last encounter she initiated

    within the week. I've not bugged or begged for sex in over a year now. Sometimes it happens multiple times a month. There has been a lapse in the year of more than a month. Still doing well, still playin "how's your love tank"
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    No more STBX Well it's official I am a single

    lady today. I went down to the courthouse by myself just like everything else I usually do. I appeared in front of of judge with my attorney my H waived his right to answer which was a good thing. I'm finally free and at peace from being under the same roof as him but being...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 39 Responses Jan 20

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    Hello everyone. Well I too am in the sexless

    marriage. We have grown so far apart I swear it's like living with a stranger. 90% of the time he's in one room I'm in another. Rarely do we have sex. I know he's cheated because I have caught him red handed. We worked through if but now I suspect he's cheating again. He's...
    countrymama1992 countrymama1992 36-40, F 11 Responses 6 days ago

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    Pandas (I am on an animal kick) Okay.

    Okay, little black and white cuddly bears. We get it. You are adorbs. You are also - lazy as ****. This is why you are going extinct. Why are we "why" chasing pandas? http://lightyears.blogs.cnn.com/2012/04/04/why-panda-sex-is-so-complex/
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 6 Responses a week ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 102 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 31 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Post-separation musings: I am actually not

    dating at the moment, but I am considering it for the more distant future and considering if it turns out to be the case I don't feel like dating after all, would I have been better off just working on self-improvement and owning a decision to stay in a sexless marriage, letting...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 59 Responses May 14, 2012

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 152 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Looking back over the last 30 years I often

    wonder what would have happened if I had never married. I know for sure I wouldn't have been sexless all that time. I expect that, like when I was single I'd be still having lots of sex with a variety of women. I also often wonder that the sudden feelings of loneliness that...
    beensolong115 beensolong115 51-55, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Reading so many stories.

    Everyone has their own truth. It's different for everyone but there are always similarities in our stories. I acknowledge that I haven't had a bona fide SM (10-12 per yr) but it's damn close. And even if it was more numerically, it was not close to being intimate or...
    MissInhard MissInhard 41-45, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    Zincore Zincore 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    There's been a smattering of discussion in the

    group about Valentine's Day. So, as a public service to all of us wondering if we would have that special moment this year...
    samedeepwater samedeepwater 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 294 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    The Butterfly. A week from today,

    it's good old Saint V again. To all those who will spend the next Sunday alone, again, I have just the right movie for you. Here's a brief synopsis by Moi, those who want to watch the movie completely unspoiled, skip through to the link at the end of the story... Thank me...
    neeia neeia 41-45, F 8 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm bored with s*xting.

    The women on the other end seem to love my erotica, but for me, nothing compares to flesh upon flesh. I can download pics from the Internet. Sorry--I'm feeling lonely and cranky. :)
    FineGrind FineGrind 56-60 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Different perspective.

    I am male 48 years old happily Married 11 years, together for 25 years. In our past we have done it a million times Our average now is once every year and a half for the past 5 years not sure what the big deal is .I'm am just old and value sleep more. Thought that was...
    Lightenup48 Lightenup48 46-50, M 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    4 tips --- * there is always a root cause

    *stop the blame game *self criticism *restart sexual intimacy
    Rifkyroshan Rifkyroshan 26-30, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    Feast or famine, right?

    Famine or feast. My wife hadn't had sex with me in, like, forever. She even told me she's asexual. We'd been "round the mulberry bush" about it in therapy. On Saturday I told her I couldn't deal with it anymore. It was just too painful. On Sunday, just hours before she was...
    BinaryBill BinaryBill 61-65, M 14 Responses 3 days ago

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    Not completely sexless

    but definitely have slowed way way way down. Still love my wife and she's my best friend but I have thought about seeking sex elsewhere...
    dezainah dezainah 46-50, M 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am two days into my new reality.

    My road to moving my h out of this house. We had the talk (the suck-balls talk) on Thursday night. When I got home from work, he had shaved his head. (!!) Something he had never ever done. And he did some organizing and purging of his man cave. This was encouraging to me...
    momtonandg momtonandg 46-50, F 6 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Divorce and people around me We're divorcing.

    It's now known in all our circles of friends. My friends and my family are supportive, very. I don't spend time talking badly about my soon to be ex husband, as the anger, frustration, shame has gone. I've told who needs to know, who I wanted to know about the nature of my...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 21 Responses 5 days ago

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    http://hellogiggles.com/alarm-clock-*******/ Today in things that exist: This alarm clock that wakes you up with an ****** On average, most of us hit the “snooze” button on our alarm clocks about 98274987234 times every morning. OK, maybe that’s a *slight* hyperbole, but...
    TexasFreebird TexasFreebird 46-50, M 6 Responses a week ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 231 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Recovering From an ILIASM Shithole.

    I am assuming this subject will not be of any interest to those who choose to stay in their deals. But it might be useful for those who are thinking about the leaving choice, and those who have recently left. Initially, you are going to be saddled with a whole heap of...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 16 Responses 3 days ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 41 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 550 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Another football Sunday,

    and we go again... Lucy's got the ball teed up, and Charlie Brown has backed up a few yards so he can get a good running start for an hellacious kickoff!!! Oh, I'm raring to go, people. I woke up this morning and my little soldier was already doing his drill exercises. Hup...
    BinaryBill BinaryBill 61-65, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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