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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,835 People

    Well hubby & i R moving 2gether

    or we think we are we need to talk & see what happens.. Now our kids they didnt take the news to welcoming!!!!! My daughtet told me mom u should fix urself 1st !!!!! Lose weigh & go out with dad on dates! My boy was like u guys should talk, but he didnt sound to happy about the...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 42 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    What an interesting month it has been.

    I have been out of my house now for a month. I was hoping this trial separation would give me final clarity as to my true feelings. It is, after all, difficult to distinguish feelings of love vs feelings of comfort. For me, anyway. There is no doubt. I AM doing the right...
    beachlivin04 beachlivin04 41-45, M 18 Responses 3 days ago

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    I did live in a sexless marriage

    until a month ago. I finally had the courage to leave, to stand up and fight for myself! I didn't leave based solely on no sex. He was emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive as well. I wish I had done it sooner but I just didn't have any fight left in me, he had taken that...
    moeshajo moeshajo 36-40, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 74 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    I was having drinks with a friend last night

    and I opened up to him about my situation. We talked a lot about it. He seems to think my situation isn't all that unique. I told him that 15 to 20% of marriages are sexless. Many of us on here kind of have that stat seared into our brain. I know I do. 20% is 1 out of...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 19 Responses 1 day ago

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    A little humour injected into the SM group.

    ...This is why you should never take your wife to the state fair...My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said:"THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR"My...
    2BlossomBlue 2BlossomBlue 51-55, F 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    So is like this the kids R against it!

    !!!!!! Today i told my daughter in the phone i haven't connected the internet being a teenager she like mom why havent u connected the internet.. Sl i told her maybe ill b moving back with your dad!!! I dont know if it was that she been super stressed with finals & a cold & she...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 13 Responses 4 days ago

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    So my wife and I had 2 serious conversations

    about our situation a few days ago. Seems like progress. In the course of the conversations my wife said that she was unhappy with herself in general and she thought that she was slowly 'getting herself' back, physically and emotionally. She said that she wanted to be 'a wife...
    lookingforanswers1 lookingforanswers1 51-55, M 14 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    trueman4d trueman4d 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It's only been about a month

    but a lot has happened. My stbx is purchasing a condo about 8 miles away. The closing was yesterday. Her daughter had to attend the paperwork session for her because she is in the hospital recuperating from a hysterectomy. She had been experiencing a good deal of pain and...
    worksforme2 worksforme2 66-70, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    I had a talk with my kids this weekend

    regarding one property that I bought ( a small lot) which I decided to sell to a cousin before the making of the deed of sale because it will be another property which is conjugal. My kids were telling me to do it. I was like .." Are you okay with that?" They replied... " Mom...
    lemongrass09 lemongrass09 46-50, F 10 Responses 2 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    I am planning to leave my wife

    when the kids grow up . That will not be for ten years or so but the thought that there is an exit gives me some solace . However, am I being deceitful by continuing the marriage when I know I plan to leave. Also will I really leave in ten years, or will I just keep going in an...
    sadman777 sadman777 41-45, M 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    I am a single man and I want to get married,

    but when I read all the experiences here I get scared from being in the same situation. Why do people live in sexless marriage?????
    hicham28 hicham28 26-30, M 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    Consequences - As I extract myself from my

    sexless marriage, my "bad guy" T-shirt is tightening around me and making it hard to breathe. My sixteen year-old daughter (the youngest) blames our divorce on me, and has joined my STBX in accusing me of cheating on him. My daughter barely speaks to me now, and our...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 17 Responses 4 days ago

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    Hubs and I just talked.

    He asked, are you gonna move out? I still don't know what precipitated it. What evolved was the conversation I've been dreading. I told him I don't have a plan. I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is that I've bottled myself up for so long, that I've trained my self...
    Notlovingit Notlovingit 46-50, F 18 Responses 2 days ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    I imagine coming home

    after a long day to a home full of aromas. Something in the oven fills the air of seasoning. My appetite tumbles and grows within me. I imagine you smiling proudly knowing I'm impressed and so excited to be home with you.You stand beside the island in a light summer dress as you...
    Dominantvelvet Dominantvelvet 46-50, M 6 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 234 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 276 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 72 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Stupid me! Thinking of things are getting

    better! No, it is just a fake temporary mirage! Things will be the same.
    Raisingup Raisingup 31-35, F 16 Responses 3 days ago

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    I want to know how people define "sexless".

    Presumably this site exists because of this phenom, no? But like for me It's not like there isn't any in my relationship; it's underwhelming and about 90% less than what I would like it to be.
    deleted deleted 26-30 15 Responses 5 days ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 46-50, F 39 Responses Mar 31

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 44 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Talk number 586.3 revealed "the sex we have

    isn't that good." never mind the fact there is no touch or any other kind of foreplay involved. Nope, it's straight intercourse and that's it. I realize she may have been saying this just to hurt me and no other reason. But this 12 year ordeal has screwed with my mind so much...
    angryspartan angryspartan 36-40, M 6 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I had an affair it's over

    now I miss the chemisty and the excitement I can't leave my marriage various reasons but would not say not to another affair if the chemisty was right
    naughtyprincess15 naughtyprincess15 26-30, F 18 Responses 1 day ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 57 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 161 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 77 Responses Feb 9

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 555 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 438 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    All the articles, books us foreplay starts with

    the man doing work and saying and doing romantic things. I give my wife a back rub, make dinner while she was napping and even clean up after, and the response I get when trying to be romantic, I just don't feel it. Why do I even try, because I am a fool.
    Fotoman Fotoman 46-50, M 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    This weekend was the worst.

    I can't do this anymore.
    good4nothin1 good4nothin1 31-35, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    So I'm once again in a dry patch.

    Haven't found the courage to leave but this time it's different. I now know she doesn't love me. She told me herself in the most cruel and cold way. She mocks me in her rage, and emasculates me in her rants. I never use to be so weak. I was a strong confident man. I had the...
    Sinnister Sinnister 31-35, M 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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