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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,951 People

    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 554 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 186 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    UPDATE # 7 - see link to follow previous

    pathetic storyline: EP Link It's been a while but I suppose I should update my horrible saga since some of you might have wondered what happened to me. This is as good a time as any since I'm sitting in a half empty dive bar near my home...nursing a beer by myself on a lonely...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    I'm longing for his touch

    and still another lonely night. The pain is growing deeper and it is consuming me. I love him so much and would love the world for him but he is killing me slowly. I find myself asking wether it's me or him and get so confused just at the thoughts of why. My heart races when I...
    crazy1983 crazy1983 31-35, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    No sugar The Duggars keep coming up

    as the "sugars" on my autocorrect. It makes me laugh every time it happens and then, I fell a bit creeped out. I mean - sexual molestation by a brother, to his 4 sisters and 1 other (that is known). The youngest of the four sisters was 5 at the time - he was 14 or 15. The...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    So after choosing to outsource with Corky in

    America,, it was really all about talking reality and if change in our everyday life was warranted .. If we felt the same together in real time as online. Hard one I know ,, and have tried to separate the two situations just for a while ,,, Since I have been home which has been...
    saxappeal saxappeal 46-50, F 35 Responses 4 days ago

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    Back in 2010, if you asked me how my marriage

    was, I would have said "great". That's the year that one of my favorite artists, Ray Lamontagne, released his album, God Willing And The Creek Don't Rise. As a fan of his, I bought that album on the release date. There was a song on there that stopped me in my tracks. The...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6903038?

    cps=gravity_3967_-5816385415675001965
    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 41-45, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 72 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    One day and 17 hours.

    That's what my countdown app says. In two days I'll be living in my own place. I'll be broke, and it will take ages to get moved in and feel settled. It will be hard in a lot of small ways, and an adjustment for my kids. But I can't wait!
    isoldeblue isoldeblue 36-40, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 233 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    10 months out... This is going to be a tale

    from the other side. My divorce was finalized this month. I can still remember the first time I found this group, and I can still remember how I went back and forth about agreeing with the people that were telling me to get out and never look back but I also remember how I...
    Cucly80 Cucly80 31-35, F 5 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Well Approaching the three year mark

    since my ex and I separated.... still no sex with anyone, but I no longer feel the craving like I once did. Maybe it's advancing age? I've stopped feeling that desperate need to be with someone and am just 'being' for the moment. I can't really be involved with someone else...
    cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 300 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Good day, my friends.

    Please be sure to share this with your sexless spouses. It's science, after all! http://btnomb.com/giving-head-is-good-for-your-health
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 15 Responses 5 days ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 77 Responses Feb 9

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    Update: Dark night of the soul After breaking

    up with the man that had nudged, prodded, and poked me towards leaving my marriage I was angry. Surely the man who was “so good with kids” and full of golden reassurance of what a great father figure he would be, couldn’t be the same man who now didn’t know if he could...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 24 Responses 6 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    She will only hold my hand in front of her

    friends. She never uses my first name. Her priority is her friends and social circle. She will not even touch me, unless her nfl team scores. I hate my lust. She tells me to out grow it. I need a Skype lover. I am pathetic. No way out. This is depressing.
    MrSoCal MrSoCal 46-50, M 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Oh dear hearts, a new theme song

    for us! Or maybe just for me... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GBT37_yyzY
    DeborahManning DeborahManning 51-55, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    When I first joined EP,

    I was a person that said 'everything is great except for the sex'. I haven't had sex with hubs in 15 years. That's a long time. Celibate for 9 years..now on my 3rd affair. My plan was to wait until my youngest went to college...1 1/2 years from now...that's been my plan for...
    SoDone1492 SoDone1492 46-50, F 15 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 37 Responses Mar 31

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 74 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 161 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    On holiday in my favourite place.

    Such a shame I have a good friend here and my H (in the true intimate sense) isn't present. I know my options and am working through whether staying can work and be satisfying. I just wish I could fast forward to the point where I know what the answer is. Just an observation...
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 18 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 22 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    I found a very interesting article online

    that discusses what happens to a lot of us in SM. It describes exactly what I felt like. http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/partner-stops-giving-silent-pain-emotional-withholding-fiff/
    greeneyedlady72 greeneyedlady72 41-45, F 13 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am feeling so angry.

    First of all , before ya'all jump on my case and tell me to get out of my marriage, stop. I can't get out, not right now. My set of circumstances is different, and i can not explain here why I can't get out. I am basically stuck. For another few years likely. But i am still...
    cleobassi cleobassi 31-35, F 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    It's fine most of the time.

    But then I watch a movie, and there are two people in love, making love, and it hits me that I may never get to do that again with my husband. Or that I'd love to reach over and take his hand and touch him, but that it would only result in rejection. It's not that everyday...
    GeorgeSands GeorgeSands 31-35, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    I read a sign. "Sex is like air,

    it's no big deal until you're not getting any". So very true. I'm struggling to breath. I have a sense of aloneness. I want so much to connect with someone.
    SalomeIris SalomeIris 46-50, F 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    So I'm not sure if I qualify

    for this group. But here it goes. We do have sex. Well he does. I just attend. He works out of province and when he gets home he's horny. I get it. So whatever. But it would be nice to feel more then just a warm body. You know...
    kanytana kanytana 26-30, F 6 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I'm happy to report that this may be my last

    post in ILIASM because our divorce is almost final. We agreed on everything and we communicate well as co parents and friends. He is aware that I am dating and is not angery or sad or jealous. He sees the kids a few hours a week, which gives me a little break. I am dating a...
    Luckymomof2boys Luckymomof2boys 31-35, F 20 Responses 23 hrs ago

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