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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,944 People

    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    I'm longing for his touch

    and still another lonely night. The pain is growing deeper and it is consuming me. I love him so much and would love the world for him but he is killing me slowly. I find myself asking wether it's me or him and get so confused just at the thoughts of why. My heart races when I...
    crazy1983 crazy1983 31-35, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I found a very interesting article online

    that discusses what happens to a lot of us in SM. It describes exactly what I felt like. http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/partner-stops-giving-silent-pain-emotional-withholding-fiff/
    greeneyedlady72 greeneyedlady72 41-45, F 5 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    I've been with my love

    for 6 years. We have a 3 year old. I love him more than anything but he's never here longer than our child's bed time. I am left to myself all evening, every evening while he continues on with the social life we used to share before we were parents. We haven't had sex since...
    Cricket6290 Cricket6290 22-25, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    My wife and I were heading

    for divorce when she was diagnosed with an illness that will kill her. Tomorrow or 20 years; nobody knows. I could not leave after that. So I'm basically stuck in a sexless marriage. For those of you who say, "Just leave", don't bother. I made a vow and I'm sticking with it.
    Slider59 Slider59 51-55, M 20 Responses 2 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 186 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 37 Responses Mar 31

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    It occurred to me this morning

    as I was texting my wife because she was complaining how single mom life sucks since I'm out of town, that she rarely experiences horniness. I asked her if she missed me or just my help. She said a little of both. But before she replied, I asked "or, are you just horny"? Her...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 13 Responses 5 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 72 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    One day and 17 hours.

    That's what my countdown app says. In two days I'll be living in my own place. I'll be broke, and it will take ages to get moved in and feel settled. It will be hard in a lot of small ways, and an adjustment for my kids. But I can't wait!
    isoldeblue isoldeblue 36-40, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 233 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    It's fine most of the time.

    But then I watch a movie, and there are two people in love, making love, and it hits me that I may never get to do that again with my husband. Or that I'd love to reach over and take his hand and touch him, but that it would only result in rejection. It's not that everyday...
    GeorgeSands GeorgeSands 31-35, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 77 Responses Feb 9

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    Thought this was an interesting read

    for any woman(who are the refusers) out there who is perplexed by how her man ticks. I think a lot of good stuff can be found for men in it as well. It is a Christian site, but I found it while researching SM's and other various parts of the subject. http://www...
    angryspartan angryspartan 36-40, M 22 Responses 5 days ago

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    Back in 2010, if you asked me how my marriage

    was, I would have said "great". That's the year that one of my favorite artists, Ray Lamontagne, released his album, God Willing And The Creek Don't Rise. As a fan of his, I bought that album on the release date. There was a song on there that stopped me in my tracks. The...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    To those, whose wives love them,

    but not in sexual way.... http://www.medicaldaily.com/frequent-***********-may-reduce-prostate-cancer-risk-how-******-protects-against-334018 Does your wife really love you? I would think if she does, she would do anything to reduce the risk regardless of her mood...
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    "Now as many people survive cancer

    as due from cancer" the advert tells us Surviving is only the first step. If the experience and the after effects screw over the patient mentally and / or physically then they may have survived cancer, but their marriage will probably be f****d I hate those adverts - implying...
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    I am feeling so angry.

    First of all , before ya'all jump on my case and tell me to get out of my marriage, stop. I can't get out, not right now. My set of circumstances is different, and i can not explain here why I can't get out. I am basically stuck. For another few years likely. But i am still...
    cleobassi cleobassi 31-35, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 300 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Oh dear hearts, a new theme song

    for us! Or maybe just for me... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GBT37_yyzY
    DeborahManning DeborahManning 51-55, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Sitting in my hotel room in Indianapolis

    preparing for my business day tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm now reflecting the last few weeks and feeling better about life in general. Since the last marriage counseling session that did not go well, I have not bothered to press my wife on another session, I have also not...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 13 Responses 6 days ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 554 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    I read a sign. "Sex is like air,

    it's no big deal until you're not getting any". So very true. I'm struggling to breath. I have a sense of aloneness. I want so much to connect with someone.
    SalomeIris SalomeIris 46-50, F 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have been with my spouse

    for 15 years and we don't have sex any more. The only time she wants to have sex is when she has been drinking, which has become a turn off to me. I wish she would take better care of herself. She is 70 lbs overweight and I don't understand how she can allow herself to be in...
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses 5 days ago

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    When I first joined EP,

    I was a person that said 'everything is great except for the sex'. I haven't had sex with hubs in 15 years. That's a long time. Celibate for 9 years..now on my 3rd affair. My plan was to wait until my youngest went to college...1 1/2 years from now...that's been my plan for...
    SoDone1492 SoDone1492 46-50, F 15 Responses 5 days ago

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 274 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 22 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    No sugar The Duggars keep coming up

    as the "sugars" on my autocorrect. It makes me laugh every time it happens and then, I fell a bit creeped out. I mean - sexual molestation by a brother, to his 4 sisters and 1 other (that is known). The youngest of the four sisters was 5 at the time - he was 14 or 15. The...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    On holiday in my favourite place.

    Such a shame I have a good friend here and my H (in the true intimate sense) isn't present. I know my options and am working through whether staying can work and be satisfying. I just wish I could fast forward to the point where I know what the answer is. Just an observation...
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 18 Responses 1 day ago

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    Well Approaching the three year mark

    since my ex and I separated.... still no sex with anyone, but I no longer feel the craving like I once did. Maybe it's advancing age? I've stopped feeling that desperate need to be with someone and am just 'being' for the moment. I can't really be involved with someone else...
    cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M 6 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    It is a moment of accidental alchemy skin,

    so often contained, open to the air open to the friction of a caress, the warmth of a willing lover pressed close. The sliding of legs together a dynamo generating a current that courses to the heart outward to the extremities, the lips, the longing part Breath catches and...
    Auberon89 Auberon89 36-40, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Update: Dark night of the soul After breaking

    up with the man that had nudged, prodded, and poked me towards leaving my marriage I was angry. Surely the man who was “so good with kids” and full of golden reassurance of what a great father figure he would be, couldn’t be the same man who now didn’t know if he could...
    Faerylight Faerylight 41-45, F 22 Responses 5 days ago

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    So after choosing to outsource with Corky in

    America,, it was really all about talking reality and if change in our everyday life was warranted .. If we felt the same together in real time as online. Hard one I know ,, and have tried to separate the two situations just for a while ,,, Since I have been home which has been...
    saxappeal saxappeal 46-50, F 35 Responses 3 days ago

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    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6903038?

    cps=gravity_3967_-5816385415675001965
    pointbreakgirl pointbreakgirl 41-45, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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