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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 50,285 People

    I just came across Dr.

    Ross Rosenberg's Co-Dependency Series on You Tube and it really resonated with me. It explains why someone would stay in a very unhealthy situation.
    luvisaluneed luvisaluneed 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 297 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    SexlessMESS. . The story posted by

    xglittergoddessx has me in a fix today. . 18 years ago I *chose* to marry a man, even though I *knew* he wasn't right for me. . But I had made a *commitment.* And that held all the power. . I had committed... - to a sexless marriage; - to deadend conversations about our...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Another massive argument/slanging match.

    This time he's the victor and I'm licking my wounds. I keep hearing in my head.... "This IS all you fault, you brought this on. This your fault, you are to blame". Again and again. Its like my self concious has abandoned me too. Its like its easier to blame myself.....I must...
    lass1 lass1 41-45, F 14 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I just came across an article callex "Sexual

    Desire Descrepancy" that I think might be helpful to some of you. Here's the link: http://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/7/23/he-says-i-dont-want-it-enough-i-think-he-wants-it-too-much-dealing-with-a-sexual-desire-discrepancy
    SoftWillie SoftWillie 61-65, M 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 43 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 437 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Here is an update to my situation.

    My official separation date was March 16, 2015. My divorce filed on July 9, 2015. I was served the papers today on July 30, 2015. The papers were a load of ambiguous bullsh!t. Barely enough to get the court to file them. I still hate my SBTX. She is still a lazy cvnt. That...
    NHotH2O NHotH2O 46-50, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 51-55, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Hi I have a high sex drive

    and my wife is always tired She works night shift as a nurse Last week I slept with her mom Should I feel guilty ?
    hasha743 hasha743 26-30, M 12 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 165 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    I love him with every fiber of my being.

    We are getting married in April of 2016. We actively practice the 5 languages of love. We hold hands, we communicate, we laugh... He's my best friend. Sadly.. For almost two years now, he's only my best friend. We very seldom have sex, and I'm physically starved... down right...
    XglittergoddessX XglittergoddessX 26-30, F 27 Responses 3 days ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 43 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    I am sure to have a different outlook on this

    subject. I am in a sexless marriage and actually fine with it. At the risk of sounding like a true *******, I will be up front and honest by saying the sex got stale long ago anyway. After my wife had a hysterectomy a few years ago, penetration became extremely paiful for her...
    versvice versvice 41-45, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Why is it that so many of us struggle with

    making decisions around, and talking about, The Hard Stuff? . Before telling my STBX (do you know how long I have waited to use that acronym?????) that we are separating, I had so much anxiety over being the bad guy. You know, the one who has to say the words, "This marriage is...
    TrulyMadlyDeeply38 TrulyMadlyDeeply38 41-45, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 58 Responses May 14, 2012

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    My big fat stupid wedding.

    We actually didn't have a wedding but I just couldn't resist the wordplay. Ours was an impecunious civil marriage ceremony, 1st because I was pregnant and couldn't fit nicely in a wedding gown anymore and 2nd we couldn't afford the big party. As someone who took pride in being...
    neeia neeia 41-45, F 13 Responses 4 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    chavacc11 chavacc11 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    http://www.justiceschanfarber.

    com/marriage-why-women-leave-cheat/
    andie2007 andie2007 41-45, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    I am laying in bed. My foot is broken.

    I am stuck asking for help with almost everything. When everyone was out today, my hubby finally started talking to me about my injury. I was telling him how it was just a fall but it was interesting how others felt the need to embelish the story. Shortly after that he tells...
    sweetplumeria sweetplumeria 36-40 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    So I started typing a lengthy response to

    unquotequote's recent story and decided to toss it out as my own story instead. I will not say that everything is great in my relationship, bar the lack of sex. It's not. And the lack of sex is a HUGE thing - I have a marriage lacking the thing that actually distinguishes...
    nerio nerio 46-50, F 8 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I came to this group irrationally full of hope.

    The more I read though the more I give up and feel like why even bother. How can you ever really know someone, trust someone. Maybe this is just a bad day for me, but it truly seems pointless.
    sinnaminvixen sinnaminvixen 36-40, F 17 Responses 3 days ago

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    well its been a while

    since ive been on here. i have some good news. ive grown since my last post was finaly able to get a job. still in the same sexless marriage though. but i have someone looking into his sketchy behaviors. ive started drift from him myself. i no longer even try to touch him, i...
    tristaspuella tristaspuella 26-30, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Another great article about

    why marriages succeed or fail: http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'd like to thank this group.

    .. I left my sexless marriage earlier this year after 2 years of marriage (6 year relationship), we had sex 5 times during our marriage. I don't know what made me decide to marry him as our relationship had been sexless for a while. I suppose I stifled my wants and needs and due...
    Flugabelle Flugabelle 26-30, F 8 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 64 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Hey SM buddies Have you ever wondered

    whether any ILIASMers are in your daily life without you knowing?!
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 15 Responses 3 days ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    deleted deleted 26-30 52 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Back on August 8th 2014,

    the following 30 members contributed stories between the end of July 2014, and August 8th. (the original story is on 8th August 2014 if you want to have a look) mrinvader, coffeeflavouredkisses, SarahAnn46, CandyMaker, braverthanIthink, katslaw, lycheechan, enlightenyoursoul...
    bazzar bazzar 56-60, M 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 184 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 22 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 37 Responses Mar 31

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    Status Update (this is long) Nearly 9 months

    into my wife and I both being on Wellbutrin and the marriage is still progressing. Sure, there are still some unresolved issues I am dealing with and chasing of the "whys" but even those are starting to become less important. The good news is, we continue to engage intimately...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    So Dan Savage's blog

    for today had a fascinating letter (from a wife living in a sexless marriage who was sick of it, except she is the refuser. Interesting to read what lead her to begin refusing.) And his response to it was awesome also. Of course he suggested leaving as the first choice, to do...
    HelenTarnation HelenTarnation 41-45, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Anyone heard of The Forum?

    I mentioned "the forum" (EP) in the Ray tonight and the therapist asked "are you in the Forum?" Anyone know what she is talking about? (I don't like to name EP as I don't want to be followed here)
    Flotsam101 Flotsam101 41-45, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 554 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Is there anyone else out there

    who has a really good relationship with their partner but the only thing missing is sex? I'm really interested to talk with others who are in this position. It seems like in almost every post I read, the lack of sex goes along with a host of other things that are going wrong...
    unquotequote unquotequote 36-40, M 28 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 47 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    I recently found out my husband is cheating.

    He went to Bali to meet someone he met online. My son confronted him few months while he Skyped her. He explained to my son that he is having some problem with me. Son was very distraught & need to confide. He told his friends upon advice of kids helpline. I suspected as we had...
    cpep8 cpep8 51-55, F 13 Responses 4 hrs ago

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