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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,791 People

    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    Living With Dents Flowers bloom

    as Spring comes again and time passes moving on But somehow time drags as life becomes painful with sad memory Once I knew the taste of anticipation when youth made life fly by With less to look forward to days come and go mostly without note But I understand more now than I...
    Warriorpoett Warriorpoett 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    So today is ... April 23rd It's been a while

    since I posted so that makes today day 90 We play "how's your love tank less" We didn't entirely finish the love languages book We do have relations started by each of us, not just me We have arguments and less of them are as insane as they were (but some are very retarded...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    I was talking to my mother tonight

    and she knows everything about me wanting a divorce. I mentioned to her, last night my husband was talking about my daughter in college and how we'll all be living in our house. I didn't say anything but I thought "no we won't". So my mom said maybe you should prepare him a...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 17 Responses 3 days ago

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    Is anyone else out there married to an adult

    child of an alcoholic (ACOA)? In particular, in a sexless marriage where the refuser-spouse is ACOA? My wife is just now (in her late 50s) realizing how badly affected she is (prone to depression and anxiety) in large part to her alcoholic father and alcoholic step-father. It...
    dan13732 dan13732 46-50, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Life in Opposite Land -- the Good

    and the Bad The bad: Due to the fact that my refuser had been secretly squandering our money on his overseas young mistress and the child he thought was his (info I found out when I asked for a divorce), our savings and assets were far less than they should have been. For...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 12 Responses 4 days ago

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    So am I wrong?... I tried again tonight.

    . not once but, twice... went out to dinner with my hubby.. it was a nice dinner.. then when we went home,,, I tried to get a bit passionate with him... I was REALLY feeling it for him... and wanting him.. I'm TRYING.. climbed on top of him while he's sitting in living room...
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 18 Responses 3 days ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Happy sexless day my friends!

    May your refuser be kind enough to hear your cry and at least try to take a leap of faith.
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    UPDATE # 4 from EP Link And.

    ............KABOOM. It's over; just like that. Last night into this morning was my latest date with my outsourced friend. Great date....lots of laughs, HOURS of love making (didn't know I could be a workhorse). Annnnnnnnd my wife more or less found out. Just like that I am...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 15 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    At what point does my desire to enjoy the

    intimate life I yearn for outweigh the social and economic benefits of my marriage ... Moving through my weekend tasks ... I weight this out ... As many of you do too
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 12 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 234 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    [The coolidge effect] I saw the below post

    and I found it quite interesting from sex refusal point of view. http://www.quora.com/What-are-some-mind-blowing-facts-that-sound-like-BS-but-are-actually-true-and-have-valid-documented-proof-of-the-fact/answer/Asif-Hussain-13?__snids__=1096366052&__nsrc__=4
    Sukraz Sukraz 41-45, M 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Living in a relationship without intimacy.

    ... Both emotionally and physically... I keep going hoping that she will "wake up"... Naive?, hopeless optimistic? Or plain stupid :s?
    Raafs Raafs 36-40, M 6 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    So i moved this past friday 2mrw will be a week

    & i cry every night .. I move from Dade to Broward is like an hr away from where my family & friends are cause is closer to work only 2.7 miles away from my job.. But i dont know i cry everytime the night comes even thought i been less stress i been very emotional being inside...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 15 Responses 1 day ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 56 Responses May 14, 2012

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    My husband is controlling

    and horrible and our relationship is dead he was supposed to be leaving but never goes. I can find a married man to be with for sex if I wanted but being someone's booty call to fill the void in their marriage doesn't appeal to me ..,I'm pretty I'm kind I'm caring how have I...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 438 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    I've told my wife on numerous occasions how I

    feel and it makes her feel bad. She then goes on to tell me how much she cares and how she is going to try harder. Then, for like a week straight she's all over me. Tending to me physically and emotionally. I can tell she's being honest about it but I can see how she is...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    This doesn't really belong in this section

    but I post almost all my stories here so I will this too. Since I told my husband I wanted a divorce I have kind of been a mess. I feel worse than I ever have. Which has really made me examine my life. The other night Girl Interrupted was on. When the movie first came out...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 11 Responses 1 day ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    Another article... It seems

    that media awareness about sex starving marriages is slowly growing... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3051232/What-MONTH-without-sex-marriage-challenged-three-couples-intriguing-results.html
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Nice surprise visit in the shower last weekend.

    Hope this hit with the defib paddles works forward. Know Not just sex but I miss the closeness just as much. Still on track in talking about the future of us and keeping how to improve on the table. Asked me why I want her when's she is "broken"
    GodfatherJM GodfatherJM 36-40, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 42 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    Well, it's been over two years.

    We gave it a go. And wound up right back in the same spot. We started out having lots of sex. Then it slowly dwindled... Three weeks of sex every day... Then every other... Then twice a week... Over a period of 4-5 months we were right back to the sexless state. Turns out sex...
    tkski tkski 41-45, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Regarding my previous post about my MRI.

    I got a copy of the DVD. I'm no doctor but well educated and my research has pointed out that MRI with contrast (a dye ( for simplistic terminology) is injected into the blood stream and any foreign bodies in the brain, including plaque and rumors show up white by absorbing...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 6 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    So if I went to the doctor with a broken arm

    and he tried to make me feel better by fixing my legs, I'd be a bit annoyed. Especially, if afterwards he saw that I was still in pain and then got mad at me because I couldn't just stop complaining about my broken arm. My wife seems to be the perfect angel since I hit rock...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    WyoDoug WyoDoug 46-50, M 13 Responses 3 days ago

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 44 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    He apologized for not responding to me .

    . I just shrugged my shoulders... It's alright .. I'll be alright
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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