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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,802 People

    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 42 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Question: Would you

    rather have a spouse that A: Holds you hand, cuddles you all the time, makes little romantic gestures etc but won't have sex. B: Wants sex but outside the bedroom isn't romantic, touching or says "I love you" without prompting. I know we expect/want both in marriage But I am...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 46-50, M 23 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 299 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    So today is ... April 23rd It's been a while

    since I posted so that makes today day 90 We play "how's your love tank less" We didn't entirely finish the love languages book We do have relations started by each of us, not just me We have arguments and less of them are as insane as they were (but some are very retarded...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 56 Responses May 14, 2012

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    So still no sex in 2015.

    I am thinking about this way too much. I need to do something.
    Bardowl15 Bardowl15 41-45, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Today is the day. At 2:30 today I go in

    for the brain MRI to check for early signs of MS. I'm a little confused on my feelings with my wife and I'm leaning to not inviting her to go with me for the diagnosis. Here's why. The other night I asked my wife if she would like to go with me to my next therapy appointment...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 18 Responses 2 days ago

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    so instead of continuing to just keep reliving

    groundhog day everyday , i decided to actually do something about it , the cycle of emotional abuse and head games had just gotten to be too much , so i finally actively looked for a " friend " on the side, i had been talking to a woman who was about my age ( 40 ) we had...
    skiball5150 skiball5150 36-40, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    Here is a song and video

    for my friends. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elq0_COa8sU&feature=youtu.be
    DeborahManning DeborahManning 51-55, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    This doesn't really belong in this section

    but I post almost all my stories here so I will this too. Since I told my husband I wanted a divorce I have kind of been a mess. I feel worse than I ever have. Which has really made me examine my life. The other night Girl Interrupted was on. When the movie first came out...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 12 Responses 2 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Alabama boy singing our plight- take a listen!

    Til someone needs medical help or, the magnolias bloom... http://youtu.be/NaUCDqWzy1k
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    UPDATE # 4 from EP Link And.

    ............KABOOM. It's over; just like that. Last night into this morning was my latest date with my outsourced friend. Great date....lots of laughs, HOURS of love making (didn't know I could be a workhorse). Annnnnnnnd my wife more or less found out. Just like that I am...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 19 Responses 1 day ago

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 234 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Is anyone else out there married to an adult

    child of an alcoholic (ACOA)? In particular, in a sexless marriage where the refuser-spouse is ACOA? My wife is just now (in her late 50s) realizing how badly affected she is (prone to depression and anxiety) in large part to her alcoholic father and alcoholic step-father. It...
    dan13732 dan13732 46-50, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    My husband kissed my best friend.

    Should I be mad? Maybe. I am the awful wife who denies sex with my husband all the time. Long story short.... We've been married 11 years and have had alot of ups and downs and ultimately for alot of reasons have found myself now completely devoid of any sexual attraction to...
    nelloyamongstelpope nelloyamongstelpope 26-30, F 45 Responses 1 day ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 159 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 40 Responses Mar 31

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    So since Christmas we have had sex 4 times

    and that's only because I try to instigate it. If I was to wait for her to I would wait months and months. My marriage just fells like being back in the friend zone no intimacy just feels like I'm living with a flat m8 now :( not sure what to do as my sex drive is high not...
    Andyc1982 Andyc1982 31-35, M 12 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 555 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 438 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Happy sexless day my friends!

    May your refuser be kind enough to hear your cry and at least try to take a leap of faith.
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    UPDATE #5 from EP Link This is more about the

    immediate aftermath of my shattered marriage but I thought I would post it here. Wow...I knew there would be blowback against me for cheating and destroying my marriage but I didn't expect this. I am literally, except for one cousin and one friend, completely alone here...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 19 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Another article... It seems

    that media awareness about sex starving marriages is slowly growing... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3051232/What-MONTH-without-sex-marriage-challenged-three-couples-intriguing-results.html
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    "Hey thanks again for helping with the trash.

    You know you still live here" This was my morning text from my STBX. Never mind that I cleaned the kitchen, did the dishes, did three loads of laundry, swaggered the floors, collected the trash from the house and took out three bags worth and brought the cans out to the...
    deepbreathneeded deepbreathneeded 36-40, M 7 mins ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    So if I went to the doctor with a broken arm

    and he tried to make me feel better by fixing my legs, I'd be a bit annoyed. Especially, if afterwards he saw that I was still in pain and then got mad at me because I couldn't just stop complaining about my broken arm. My wife seems to be the perfect angel since I hit rock...
    bdiggles bdiggles 36-40, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    At what point does my desire to enjoy the

    intimate life I yearn for outweigh the social and economic benefits of my marriage ... Moving through my weekend tasks ... I weight this out ... As many of you do too
    SafetyNotGuaranteed SafetyNotGuaranteed 46-50, F 15 Responses 1 day ago

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    Feeling lonely today had a busy weekend out

    with friends but now sitting here Sunday night with the kids don't know where hubby is this time working again supposedly ... My little play friend is playing football he is really good semi pro we are not having an affair he is younger than me he has a girlfriend but he is...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    So i moved this past friday 2mrw will be a week

    & i cry every night .. I move from Dade to Broward is like an hr away from where my family & friends are cause is closer to work only 2.7 miles away from my job.. But i dont know i cry everytime the night comes even thought i been less stress i been very emotional being inside...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 15 Responses 3 days ago

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    Living in a relationship without intimacy.

    ... Both emotionally and physically... I keep going hoping that she will "wake up"... Naive?, hopeless optimistic? Or plain stupid :s?
    Raafs Raafs 36-40, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    happyhornet happyhornet 46-50, M 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    So yet another peice of evidence

    that prove my wife has no respect for me. We Foster dogs for the spca. Usually fall thru spring. My inlaws have a place at the beach and we sometimes go there in the summer. Well we allready have three dogs of our own, and we just got another Foster two weeks ago. Told the...
    harleyman2169 harleyman2169 46-50, M 2 Responses 22 hrs ago

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