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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,786 People

    WyoDoug WyoDoug 46-50, M 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    So I decided to let my marriage dissolve,

    my youngest is off to college and I decided to treat my wife like a room mate, (my mantra "if you are treated like a room mate, act like one") People who know me have followed my solo vacations, and I have decide to go back on the road with my job ... everything has been...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 46-50, M 13 Responses 5 days ago

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    UPDATE on my situation

    for those that are interested (last post was here - EP Link ) Not long after I had my fling (and I managed to remain guilt free) I met another woman, one who has truly awakened my long slumbering passions. She has made me feel more alive than I've felt in almost seven years...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    A Sexless Marriage (SM) Vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM):

    A Sexless Marriage (SM) vs. A Loveless Marriage (LM): It would be reasonable to assume that this forum is home to many who have a somewhat similar experience to share, one that is a close match to the title of this group. However I now firmly believe that the majority of people...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 20 Responses Aug 17, 2013

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 56 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Happy sexless day my friends!

    May your refuser be kind enough to hear your cry and at least try to take a leap of faith.
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    So i moved this past friday 2mrw will be a week

    & i cry every night .. I move from Dade to Broward is like an hr away from where my family & friends are cause is closer to work only 2.7 miles away from my job.. But i dont know i cry everytime the night comes even thought i been less stress i been very emotional being inside...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 15 Responses 1 day ago

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    After 15 years of searching online,

    in bars, hoping business meetings might turn into intimate encounters and more sexual frustration than anyone should have to be subjected to, my sexual drought was finally broken today by an old girlfriend from 30 years ago who saw me on Facebook and invited me over to her place...
    beensolong115 beensolong115 46-50, M 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 40 Responses Mar 31

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    So I'm back again. Talking about my marriage

    and lack of sex or rather complete absense of sex. So despite my better judgement I asked if we could have sex today. We had a nice day together spent it doing stuff she wanted to do and not complaining. So I asked and she gets a look on her face that says it all. She says...
    harleyman2169 harleyman2169 46-50, M 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 555 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    This doesn't really belong in this section

    but I post almost all my stories here so I will this too. Since I told my husband I wanted a divorce I have kind of been a mess. I feel worse than I ever have. Which has really made me examine my life. The other night Girl Interrupted was on. When the movie first came out...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 11 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    Unexpected, Unwarranted And Unwanted.

    Earlier this year, I made my decision to pursue an affair. This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. Have some sex. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I...
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 53 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Happy Monday my sexless friends!

    Kids are fast asleep. Finally I can have an hour to myself 😈
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 4 days ago

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    Drummer1013 Drummer1013 46-50, M 155 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    Another article... It seems

    that media awareness about sex starving marriages is slowly growing... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3051232/What-MONTH-without-sex-marriage-challenged-three-couples-intriguing-results.html
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I've told my wife on numerous occasions how I

    feel and it makes her feel bad. She then goes on to tell me how much she cares and how she is going to try harder. Then, for like a week straight she's all over me. Tending to me physically and emotionally. I can tell she's being honest about it but I can see how she is...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    So am I wrong?... I tried again tonight.

    . not once but, twice... went out to dinner with my hubby.. it was a nice dinner.. then when we went home,,, I tried to get a bit passionate with him... I was REALLY feeling it for him... and wanting him.. I'm TRYING.. climbed on top of him while he's sitting in living room...
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 18 Responses 3 days ago

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    Happy to announce my separation.

    My husband and I have decided to separate. Coming home after a long vacation was so hard. I couldn't put the mask back on, it just didn't fit anymore. The vacation was the breath of fresh air I needed. The most dreaded moment was talking to our daughter about how, why and...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 46-50, F 49 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    How cruel life is I was getting it

    when ever I wanted it. Then I married it never get it. After two years and no p---y I went else where to get it . Being 65 makes it very hard to get.my wife is 18 yrs younger then me.I still love her very much . But I can't due without sex .
    merlin976 merlin976 61-65, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    So today is ... April 23rd It's been a while

    since I posted so that makes today day 90 We play "how's your love tank less" We didn't entirely finish the love languages book We do have relations started by each of us, not just me We have arguments and less of them are as insane as they were (but some are very retarded...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Nice surprise visit in the shower last weekend.

    Hope this hit with the defib paddles works forward. Know Not just sex but I miss the closeness just as much. Still on track in talking about the future of us and keeping how to improve on the table. Asked me why I want her when's she is "broken"
    GodfatherJM GodfatherJM 36-40, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Monday morning humor I just had a tough

    weekend with the man. . Before you all scold me for staying in the situation and tell me it's my own fault - STOP. I've heard that before. I know. . This isn't going to be a rant or a sob session. . The therapist I saw suggested writing him a letter. . Today, it's Monday - I'm...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 78 Responses Feb 9

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    He apologized for not responding to me .

    . I just shrugged my shoulders... It's alright .. I'll be alright
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    Regarding my previous post about my MRI.

    I got a copy of the DVD. I'm no doctor but well educated and my research has pointed out that MRI with contrast (a dye ( for simplistic terminology) is injected into the blood stream and any foreign bodies in the brain, including plaque and rumors show up white by absorbing...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    As I step back from my sexless marriage

    and turn off my emotions I find myself coming here less and less. When I do and I read the stories I cannot help but notice that hope is funny thing, it keeps us hanging on. Too bad it is all in vain. At the end of the day your spouse either wants to hump you or they do not...
    HusbandOfOne HusbandOfOne 41-45, M 19 Responses 5 days ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 185 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 159 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 42 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 44 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    So... She decides to touch me in places she

    know will arouse me. Now I'm sitting here thinking to myself "hang on captain she's about to blow!" Now woody is here and she off to her room to go sulk. WTF! Why o why couldn't I have met a nymph. I swear that girls phone is in her hand at least 14 hours a day! Still hopeful...
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Today is the day. At 2:30 today I go in

    for the brain MRI to check for early signs of MS. I'm a little confused on my feelings with my wife and I'm leaning to not inviting her to go with me for the diagnosis. Here's why. The other night I asked my wife if she would like to go with me to my next therapy appointment...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 18 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    My wife is a birdwatcher.

    She keeps several kinds bird feeders off our back deck to support and attract a variety of birds. Sounds nice. Right?If the main feeder is out of seed, she gets kind of agitated and obsesses a bit until it is filled (even if it is slightly disruptive to other things at the...
    dan13732 dan13732 46-50, M 22 Responses 3 days ago

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    Life in Opposite Land -- the Good

    and the Bad The bad: Due to the fact that my refuser had been secretly squandering our money on his overseas young mistress and the child he thought was his (info I found out when I asked for a divorce), our savings and assets were far less than they should have been. For...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 12 Responses 3 days ago

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    Wishful Thinking Being sent to a place

    that is both very far away and very hot every time we raise the subject of intimacy can be confusing and devitalizing in the long run. Being asked to travel or otherwise reassemble in hell is somewhat hurtful too if for no other reason that we are already there and do not need...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 11 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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