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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 47,987 People

    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 35 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 439 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Basic Mismatch

    I see lots of stories lately from people who are new and hopeful there will be a solution here they haven't thought of yet. They come here, post a story and get some feedback.  Then they go about trying to fix the marriage.  They read the same stories we've read and the same...
    Changewilldoyougood Changewilldoyougood 31-35, F 22 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    Well, I just got back from an amazing eve.

    It was a first date so to speak. A guy I met a few months back at a music festival I attended ( ok Coachella). We 'd been trying to connect ever since April. I know I haven't posted an official post of who I am and what my story is, but I felt sharing my current state of bliss...
    Jane1024 Jane1024 36-40, F 14 Responses 2 days ago

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    czzinc czzinc 36-40, M 28 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    (Repost...EP BLOCKED my first story) I

    stumbled upon EP the latter part of last year, and I've been a fairly frequent lurker ever since. It has taken me quite some time to decide to share my story here. In the beginning, I told myself that sharing my personal story was unimportant, as there's nothing really unique...
    Insearchofmenow Insearchofmenow 31-35 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sexually frustrated husband uses spreadsheet to

    show wife what's wrong with their sexlife. I have empathy for the husband. Obviously, however, his spreadsheet didn't inspire his wife to ... spread.... " Reddit user throwwwwaway29 has a husband, and her husband is fed up. He is so fed up that this morning he sent her an email...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 53 Responses May 14, 2012

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    I decided to let go. If he doesn't want me

    anymore, so be it. I've got other happiness to pursue. Detaching with caring.
    whatevernobody whatevernobody 31-35, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    jkingd34 jkingd34 22-25, M 5 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 102 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Interesting article on obesity

    and its effect on people's sex lives. "Readers first encounter Englehardt at her heaviest, 265 pounds, strapped to a CPAP machine for sleep apnea and completely indifferent to her husband, Larry's, advances to the point where he had stopped trying. "I just felt so bad about...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 4 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    Why Repairing A Sexless Marriage Is So Impossible....

    Here in our group, we often get criticized for being too negative, too willing to leave the marriage, and too unwilling to try and repair the marriage. I want to explain to new members why, all the group here is really doing, is just being honest. I want to try and explain why...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 75 Responses Nov 20, 2011

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    What A Difference 2 Years Can Make

    I arrived at EP 2 years ago today. And if you told me then, that in 2 years, I would be an entirely different person, in an entirely different place, mentally, physically,spiritually, sexually.....I would have said your nuts..You haven't a clue about anything, and obviously you...
    neuilly neuilly 61-65, F 38 Responses Oct 15, 2012

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    Sexless marriage for 11 years.

    About two months ago I met a man and we started an affair. It's an emotional and physical affair, but we only recently began sleeping together and I want to share what I'm feeling for those of you contemplating cheating on your refusers. First...it's not cheating. It's self...
    Blue2014 Blue2014 41-45, F 32 Responses May 23

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 64 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 278 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    He can't get it up anymore

    and is avoiding me completely
    OdysseyCMV OdysseyCMV 41-45, F 13 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Dear blue2014... Why did you block me,

    and delete all my comments from your thread? Is this how you defend your opinions, by eliminating dissenters? Perhaps at the source of your anger, lies some insight into your condition. Enjoy your time at iliasm, I guess I won't be seeing you around. As for others, please...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Sexless Marriage is a Biblical Reason

    for Divorce This is a re-post of a comment I wrote to someone that TheWendigo suggested I post as a story, in case it helps anyone. I am also a Christian. The Bible does NOT prohibit divorce under any circumstances. I used to think it did, and that's unfortunately why I didn't...
    UndefinedValue UndefinedValue 31-35, F 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    Observations from amazing night of passionate

    sex last night. Aftermath. I only post this because i use to spend a lot of time wondering weather or not I could go through w cheating. I'm not even gonna call it cheating anymore because really my husband is the one who's the cheater. Cheating HIMSELF from loving me...
    Jane1024 Jane1024 36-40, F 27 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 48 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    Telling the Kids Yesterday,

    we told the kids we were getting a divorce. Five of our six kids (who range in age from 15 to 27) gathered at home for a “family meeting”, and my STBX and I broke the news to them. It was the worst experience of my life. My spouse refused to put on a united front and give...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 34 Responses 1 day ago

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    I grew up where men were men,

    stiff upper lip, never show emotions, it's weakness. This was beaten into me. And it was the same for the women (Siblings) never talk emotions, sweep it under the carpet. Lucky for me when I had my own kids I decided I never wanted that for them. I wanted love and feeling in the...
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    Sex has always been difficult

    for me. It started with my first girlfriend. She came and I didn't. And thus it didn't feed my "reward system" the way it did hers. It continued on this way for months and in time I got tired of it and after a while began to avoid having sex altogether. It became part of dating...
    cracklewalk cracklewalk 46-50, M 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    Scenes From An Italian Restaurant

    I sit in the quaint little Italian restaurant across the table from my husband, sipping my wine in solitude. He is distant; engrossed in something on his telephone; a text, email or something on the web - I'm not sure, but it doesn't matter.  I takea sip of the sweet red liquor...
    LadyBronte LadyBronte 46-50, F 54 Responses Nov 18, 2012

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    If my (soon to be) marriage changes,

    do I remove myself from this group? Anyways, we have been weed free for 7 days. He has been genuinely putting in effort to have sex with me and although it isn't the best, yet, it's happening. In order to help, I suggested we watch **** together. I know he likes that, I've seen...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 22-25, F 14 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ive been in a sexless marriage

    for almost as long as ive been married. My wife has no interest in sex or romance what so ever. Ive never physically cheated on my wife yet but there is an opportunity to be intimate with someone else. I am afraid to be intimate because it has been so many years since ive...
    InTheDogHouse InTheDogHouse 51-55, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 37 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    What's A "beautiful Woman"??

    Nearly all woman are simply beautiful to me. The only turn offs I have are bad hygiene and bad attitudes. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me. Some of you might now be aware we are out there because we SURELY are not going to act like a creep and TELL you...
    ThreeDecadesAlone ThreeDecadesAlone 46-50, M 152 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 239 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    Live Your Relationship Authentically, And Let Go The Outcome.

      A theme in my own formerly sexless marriage and most of the others I see in this board who have not yet changed their situation at home, is a lack of authenticity in their and communications with each other.   I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional...
    Apocrypha Apocrypha 36-40 41 Responses Jan 11, 2012

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    Someone Asked Me A Question Last Night...

      The question was...   so why does it take so long for us to figure this sh*t out??? IMHO... , from a woman's point of view... A sexless marriage is one of the most insidious things...  it creeps up on you, like a leopard in the grass, and before you...
    FriendofPromise FriendofPromise 51-55, F 65 Responses Oct 13, 2009

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    So I haven't been on

    for a while. My usage of EP seems to be up and down. When I'm feeling down the usage goes up and vice a versa. We had sex! Twice, in a month. He tried hard to seem interested, but he didn't climax. There's been little contact since. I find the sex helps me feel better for...
    Waterlanding Waterlanding 26-30, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    The Consequences Of 'enduring'.

    I'm posting this story here even though I no longer live in a sexless relationship, because if you are currently in one, now is the time to think about what is happening to you. Your experience will not be exactly the same as mine, but I think it's likely you are going through...
    hrts hrts 41-45, F 37 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    I'm in a same sex relationship,

    we've been together for over a decade. Same sex marriage isn't legal in our state but we had a commitment ceremony several years ago and consider ourselves married. Our sex life has never been good, but since we got married, the amount and frequency of intimacy has decreased...
    cloudsinyoureyes cloudsinyoureyes 31-35, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    rinzin rinzin 26-30, F 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 295 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    I found this ridiculous one sided sexist article

    and wanted to share it with the rest of you so that you can follow the easy 1,2,3 steps and VUALA'...... SM solved. If I ever meet the person who wrote this article i will tell her about the bacon scented candles (obviously missing in this list) and then I will proceed to...
    oceansun oceansun 31-35 12 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    mfur, did you really need to block me?

    I had no idea what happened to my stories until I got your messages. Sorry I stole your thunder. C.
    cracklewalk cracklewalk 46-50, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I found this site a couple years ago

    and enjoy reading other people's experiences, mostly because it makes me realize that I'm not the only one in a SM. I shared a story a couple years ago and haven't logged on since. Reading my own story, I realized nothing has changed. My wife and I started off like any other...
    crowbar2012 crowbar2012 31-35, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    Seriously... Like I know she's a bag a chips.

    .. But the least she could do is stop allowing herself to be past around while a bunch if guys eat her out...
    JaysGrief JaysGrief 16-17, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 551 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 47 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    So I'm caringly distancing my self

    and SO doesn't seem to mind at all! Then I feel bad like I'm not caring enough. But whatever I'm still going to distance myself
    whatevernobody whatevernobody 31-35, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 74 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    You tried to break it off with me twice already.

    Then I got pregnant. Now I depend on u to take care of us, and I know u don't want to. U want someone younger and more into u and what u do. u don't want to end it now because what will I do? No where to go. U probably can't wait for these next few years to fly by because I...
    whatevernobody whatevernobody 31-35, F 11 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 128 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    I've been haunted by something HL42 posted in

    response to one of my stories. Can we talk about this? Here's the comment: "Yes, the shocking juxtaposition of "I love you" and the behavior is one of the worst aspects." By behavior, he's referring to the act of refusing sex. I get the I love you's several times a day from my...
    Blue2014 Blue2014 41-45, F 24 Responses 3 days ago

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    Do you think sexting/chatting etc is cheating?

    Recently I have started doing it. A lot. And in a way I feel it's fine. In a way I feel it's cheating.
    Mfine Mfine 70+, M 23 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Just A Shout Out

    I just want to say a big hello to my soon-to-be ex-husband Jay  He has taken up reading every single post of mine on here.  Beside the fact that he really needs to get a life, I wanted to welcome him.  Maybe reading a little truth and honesty would be a nice...
    k145712 k145712 36-40, F 57 Responses Mar 3, 2010

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 183 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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