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I Live In a Sexless Marriage

Support, stories, and advice from real married men and women without sex in their marriage. 49,786 People

    Is anyone else out there married to an adult

    child of an alcoholic (ACOA)? In particular, in a sexless marriage where the refuser-spouse is ACOA? My wife is just now (in her late 50s) realizing how badly affected she is (prone to depression and anxiety) in large part to her alcoholic father and alcoholic step-father. It...
    dan13732 dan13732 46-50, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    He apologized for not responding to me .

    . I just shrugged my shoulders... It's alright .. I'll be alright
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    How is it that one partner in a marriage can

    utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. It's complete BS. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
    Stormie01 Stormie01 46-50, F 72 Responses Feb 3, 2014

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    Regarding my previous post about my MRI.

    I got a copy of the DVD. I'm no doctor but well educated and my research has pointed out that MRI with contrast (a dye ( for simplistic terminology) is injected into the blood stream and any foreign bodies in the brain, including plaque and rumors show up white by absorbing...
    dynamic71 dynamic71 41-45, M 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    All He Thought About Was SEX SEX SEX

     ORIGINAL STORY (2007): Reading all the posts here, I guess I represented the other side. I hadn't been having sex with my husband because I didn't want to. All he thought about was sex, but not just with me. He had adult magazines, DVDs and videos hidden all over the...
    LostLeila LostLeila 31-35, F 438 Responses Dec 27, 2007

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    Please...listen

    As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. Serenity, happiness, confidence. That is now my life. I am alone. But, I am in no hurry. When I eventually find that person for me, he will behold a whole person, not a broken one. I can't...
    imathinkin imathinkin 51-55, F 56 Responses May 14, 2012

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    Refusing Sex = Emotional Abuse

    Withholding sex in a "loving" relationship is Emotional Abuse. Denying one's partner the bond which cultivates closeness and intimacy with them is Emotional Abuse. Whether their refusal is due to mental illness, passive/aggressive anger or control issues or an underlying reason...
    ISELFLOVE ISELFLOVE 41-45, F 159 Responses Jul 22, 2010

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    I Am Already Gone, And He Doesn't Even Know It.

    He went to bed first, he's always tired. As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. Why take it off? He won't even notice. I let the blue, sheer cotton gown float to my feet. I'll be more...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 53 Responses Sep 29, 2013

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    so instead of continuing to just keep reliving

    groundhog day everyday , i decided to actually do something about it , the cycle of emotional abuse and head games had just gotten to be too much , so i finally actively looked for a " friend " on the side, i had been talking to a woman who was about my age ( 40 ) we had...
    skiball5150 skiball5150 36-40, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Another article... It seems

    that media awareness about sex starving marriages is slowly growing... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3051232/What-MONTH-without-sex-marriage-challenged-three-couples-intriguing-results.html
    TheFullMoon TheFullMoon 51-55, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    He told me he has not desire

    for me anymore and does not want us to separate or divorce. He still wants to look after me financially and ensure that I have a roof over my head. Above everything else, he desires that this be kept confidential & not tell kids/family etc. I would like to hear from you guys...
    cpep8 cpep8 51-55, F 16 Responses 4 days ago

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    So I decided to let my marriage dissolve,

    my youngest is off to college and I decided to treat my wife like a room mate, (my mantra "if you are treated like a room mate, act like one") People who know me have followed my solo vacations, and I have decide to go back on the road with my job ... everything has been...
    1celtusa 1celtusa 46-50, M 13 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm one step closer to being free.

    I've finished moving out of my married home. It hasn't sold yet, but it will. Showings have picked up again now that Spring is here. I just don't have to deal with them anymore. Not having to deal with the showings, has been a huge stress reliever for me. It was hard leaving my...
    Itsmytime2be Itsmytime2be 41-45, F 40 Responses Mar 31

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    I've told my wife on numerous occasions how I

    feel and it makes her feel bad. She then goes on to tell me how much she cares and how she is going to try harder. Then, for like a week straight she's all over me. Tending to me physically and emotionally. I can tell she's being honest about it but I can see how she is...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    No Sex Tonight - Best Of Craigslist

    I just wanted to share something that gave me a good laugh this morning. It was posted in the "best of craigslist" section of craigslist. I thought somebody else here may find it funny, too. I have found it is easier to cope with a sexless marriage if I ...
    CynicalFreakGenius CynicalFreakGenius 36-40, M 302 Responses Dec 20, 2009

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    Outsourcing Your Needs

    So you live in a sexless marriage.  There is no sex (or very little sex) and your relationship lacks intimacy and emotional connection.   As a "sex person" you miss this badly and have tried, without success, to address the issue in your marriage. You love your spouse, who is...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 235 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    WyoDoug WyoDoug 46-50, M 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    So i moved this past friday 2mrw will be a week

    & i cry every night .. I move from Dade to Broward is like an hr away from where my family & friends are cause is closer to work only 2.7 miles away from my job.. But i dont know i cry everytime the night comes even thought i been less stress i been very emotional being inside...
    britefutureahead2 britefutureahead2 41-45, F 14 Responses 1 day ago

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    So am I wrong?... I tried again tonight.

    . not once but, twice... went out to dinner with my hubby.. it was a nice dinner.. then when we went home,,, I tried to get a bit passionate with him... I was REALLY feeling it for him... and wanting him.. I'm TRYING.. climbed on top of him while he's sitting in living room...
    caressablecat caressablecat 51-55, F 18 Responses 2 days ago

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    Looking Back, Looking Forward

    A lot of people have probably assumed or accepted that if everything else seemed okay that the fault for a loveless, sexless marriage was theirs. You go to therapy, aggressively root out your problems, go to the gym, work on your attitude, learn some new jokes, set the...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 36-40, M 45 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    All That Glitters...

    I have read many of the stories here, and many seem to run along a typical theme. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 555 Responses Apr 18, 2008

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    The Love Roulette: Why We Are In A Sexless Marriage

    The “effeuiller la marguerite” is an ancient game, traditionally played by the young falling in love for the first time and the hopelessly romantic of any age. For those unfamiliar with it, the daisy oracle consist in pulling the petals from a daisy, or other available flower...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 30 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    So I'm back again. Talking about my marriage

    and lack of sex or rather complete absense of sex. So despite my better judgement I asked if we could have sex today. We had a nice day together spent it doing stuff she wanted to do and not complaining. So I asked and she gets a look on her face that says it all. She says...
    harleyman2169 harleyman2169 46-50, M 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    So Is It Really About Sex? What I Have Learned From A Long Term Sexless Marriage.

    I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. Some newbies are seeking a fix or cure. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. We all believe or once believed that...
    footballbat footballbat 46-50, M 48 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Dehumanization Of The Opposite Sex: The Collateral Damage Of A Sexless Marriage

    I had an epiphany a few days ago. I thought I would share it. My marriage and my appreciation for it goes in cycles. I believe this is the case for most of us. Some days are optimistic. Some are awful. Some...you just don't think about it. Sometimes those are the best days, when...
    harveyspecter harveyspecter 41-45, M 73 Responses Mar 18, 2013

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    So... She decides to touch me in places she

    know will arouse me. Now I'm sitting here thinking to myself "hang on captain she's about to blow!" Now woody is here and she off to her room to go sulk. WTF! Why o why couldn't I have met a nymph. I swear that girls phone is in her hand at least 14 hours a day! Still hopeful...
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Perfect Match In Plato’s symposium,

    Aristophanes tells the story of how humans were originally spherical creatures, twice what they are now, with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a single head with two faces looking in opposite directions. They could roll forwards and backwards and spin around on all 8 limbs; they were supreme...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Wishful Thinking: Your partner may state

    they love you, but this is trick: remember that actions speak louder than words. The cruelty of all: I read many variants of the following: “Lack of intimacy with my partner makes me miserably unhappy, damages me psychologically and physically, I am desperate, I am going...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 21 Responses Feb 2, 2014

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    Well, it's been over two years.

    We gave it a go. And wound up right back in the same spot. We started out having lots of sex. Then it slowly dwindled... Three weeks of sex every day... Then every other... Then twice a week... Over a period of 4-5 months we were right back to the sexless state. Turns out sex...
    tkski tkski 41-45, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Perhaps An Insight Into the Guy's Problem...

    All of the stories here are all too familiar. What's frustrating is that they all reflect a fundamental change in the relationship early on in a marriage...which fortunately, is something I might be able to help out with. Many guys get married before they really understand...
    TheTreeIsMe TheTreeIsMe 36-40, M 100 Responses Feb 13, 2007

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    Wife Has No Desire

    My wife was sexually abused as a child.  This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life.  Deep down, my wife is afraid to love.  She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of.  Her mother died at...
    stinkcat_14 stinkcat_14 41-45, M 199 Responses Aug 31, 2006

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    Are You Staying For The Kids? Some Thoughts From Someone Who Left.

    One of the most common refrains here seems to be the line "I love my kids" or "I love my family", or "I don't want to destroy my family". There are plenty of reasons to not get divorced. If your sexless period was just a bump in the road, only 6 months, a year, right after...
    icancounttopotato icancounttopotato 36-40, M 65 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    "The Overwhelming Advice Is To Cheat Or Leave"

    This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post. That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave". What it comes down to is this: when you reach the point where you can no longer tolerate being in a sexless relationship, then you will...
    enna30 enna30 56-60, F 42 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Is This How She's Felt For The Past Ten Years?

    For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted, and she refused. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. I couldn't understand why things weren't happening. How could she not reciprocate...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 276 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Living With Dents Flowers bloom

    as Spring comes again and time passes moving on But somehow time drags as life becomes painful with sad memory Once I knew the taste of anticipation when youth made life fly by With less to look forward to days come and go mostly without note But I understand more now than I...
    Warriorpoett Warriorpoett 56-60, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    How cruel life is I was getting it

    when ever I wanted it. Then I married it never get it. After two years and no p---y I went else where to get it . Being 65 makes it very hard to get.my wife is 18 yrs younger then me.I still love her very much . But I can't due without sex .
    merlin976 merlin976 61-65, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    UPDATE on my situation

    for those that are interested (last post was here - EP Link ) Not long after I had my fling (and I managed to remain guilt free) I met another woman, one who has truly awakened my long slumbering passions. She has made me feel more alive than I've felt in almost seven years...
    TheFallen75 TheFallen75 36-40, M 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    Happy sexless day my friends!

    May your refuser be kind enough to hear your cry and at least try to take a leap of faith.
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Sexless Marriage: Cause And Treatment

    Cause: I am absolutely convinced that, in the vast majority of cases, there are just two causes that underpin a sexless relationship in mentally and physically healthy individuals. I am writing this because I believe that identifying the mechanisms that drive certain behaviours...
    purezinc purezinc 36-40, M 15 Responses Aug 9, 2013

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    Life in Opposite Land -- the Good

    and the Bad The bad: Due to the fact that my refuser had been secretly squandering our money on his overseas young mistress and the child he thought was his (info I found out when I asked for a divorce), our savings and assets were far less than they should have been. For...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 12 Responses 3 days ago

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    Happy Monday my sexless friends!

    Kids are fast asleep. Finally I can have an hour to myself 😈
    PatMine PatMine 31-35, M 3 days ago

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    Nice surprise visit in the shower last weekend.

    Hope this hit with the defib paddles works forward. Know Not just sex but I miss the closeness just as much. Still on track in talking about the future of us and keeping how to improve on the table. Asked me why I want her when's she is "broken"
    GodfatherJM GodfatherJM 36-40, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    My husband is controlling

    and horrible and our relationship is dead he was supposed to be leaving but never goes. I can find a married man to be with for sex if I wanted but being someone's booty call to fill the void in their marriage doesn't appeal to me ..,I'm pretty I'm kind I'm caring how have I...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Are You A Refuser?

    I have reached a conclusion today. We, the refused, are refusers. How so, you ask? Simple. We refuse to recognize just how big a big a problem we have. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we...
    FilteringMachine FilteringMachine 31-35, M 101 Responses Jun 4, 2012

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    I was talking to my mother tonight

    and she knows everything about me wanting a divorce. I mentioned to her, last night my husband was talking about my daughter in college and how we'll all be living in our house. I didn't say anything but I thought "no we won't". So my mom said maybe you should prepare him a...
    Bballgirl1971 Bballgirl1971 41-45, F 17 Responses 2 days ago

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    A Brief Affair Of Two EP Members

    I am a regular EP member but for anonimoty I agreed with her to create a new username so that I can write our story. This happened six weeks ago. Through a thread on the forum, I was contacted by an EP member who was travelling overseas and was going to be near my hometown for...
    waiting2feelalive waiting2feelalive 46-50 187 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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