on 10:47PM at Jan 22nd, 2013
Does anyone find that they put off going to bed because they cannot have the comfort of arms around them?
I am sooooo tired sometimes, but I just put off going to sleep. I hate sleep anyway, I always feel like I am missing out on life by sleeping... Like it is a waste of time.... I wish it wasn't necessary.
But, I think if I could look forward to having some big strong arms around me I would like to go to bed...
on 12:27AM at Jan 23rd, 2013
Rear view mirror job here Sister What.
Back in the day that was precisely me.
These days, though I am a nightowl still - and Ms enna is usually an early bed time girl - the urge to go to bed early when she does wins out !!!
One can always get up later if the old insomnia bug bites
Tread your own path
on 01:56AM at Jan 23rd, 2013
I put off going to bed most days because the closeness will not be there. Incidentally it's 2 am now. Time to go to the cold bed. I have been putting this off for 4 hours now.
on 10:56AM at Jan 23rd, 2013
Many have said that once they got out of their SM, they finally slept better than they have in years. I feel as though I am always running a deficit and look forward to sleeping soundly again almost as much as sex.
on 05:58PM at Jan 23rd, 2013
The last couple of years of my sexless marriage I was staying up late, drinking wine and watching cr@p tv. It was just too miserable, going to bed, to lie near someone who didn't want me to touch them and wouldn't touch me.
Now I've left, my ex, who has the classic memory issues that go with passive aggression, argues that she wanted me to go to bed, and this was the reason we didn't have sex, she can't clearly remember the previous decade or so of rejection. Of course, the nights that I didn't stay away in those last couple of years (there were a fair few), nothing happened.
With my lover, I'm happy to drink water and turn in at 7:30...
on 08:57PM at Jan 23rd, 2013
OMG am doing this right now... also resort to the drinking a glass of wine to get myself relaxed enough to drift off, which incidentally doesn't lead to the best of sleeps and doesn't even work for me anymore, so I stopped that.
Now I do about 20 minutes of stretching each night, but even now I put that off and bum around here for far, far too long...
on 09:08PM at Jan 23rd, 2013
Nah....I love love love sleeping too much to let a sexless marriage disturb my sleep!
Disclosure: I lived alone for 27 years of my adult life and slept well. That habit continues to this day!
on 11:15PM at Jan 23rd, 2013
on 02:31PM at Jan 24th, 2013
Yep, with the ex. Although that problem was usually solved by him falling asleep in front of the TV in the living room.
With LovelyNewGuy ... one of the cohab agreements we made (obviously not legally enforceable) is that we will go to bed together at the same time, when at all possible, and cuddle for 10-15 minutes before sleeping. (Well, this would be on nights where sleep is the priority : ) So far, we have a 99.9% success rate at keeping this promise. We cuddle, talk softly about what we're grateful for that day, thank each other for things we've done, and say loving things to each other. Impossibly mushy, right? But incredibly nourishing.
If you're with someone, like my ex, where you cannot even IMAGINE doing this daily ... give your head a shake. It's out there. It's possible.