Disclaimer - personal opinion is that it is not a real good idea for someone to bale on a marriage on the basis of having another person lined up. In other words, to leave someone for someone. I am happy to debate this position, but not on this thread. That said, let us proceed.
Oftentimes in our group, we hear members in a state of anguish about whether there is anything better (than their dud spouse) out there.
Dysfunctional marriages **** with your head, get you thinking weird ******, get you makinguninformed choices which feed back into the dysfunctional loop.
** like "I couldn't do any better than the dud I've got".
I invite the members to challenge their thinking about the truth or otherwise of this position.
There are near enough to 35,000 members of this group, roughly 17,500 men and 17,500 women.
Unless you have been here since day #1, you are NOT going to know much about all of these people. But if you have been here a while, you likely have got to know quite a few members through their posts, and formed some sort of opinion about what they are like from their stories, their comments and replies, their forum posts and maybe their blog, maybe even by private conversations. Maybe by going to the Texas gathering even.
How many of the people (of your opposite sex) you have formed some sort of opinion about have come across as complete duds ?
I am betting, "not a lot".
I would then suggest to you, that the membership of ILIASM is a reasonable representative sample of society in general, and of the general standard of people out there in the wider world.
I am suggesting to you, that the wider world is NOT infested with dysfunctional idiots like your present spouse. I am suggesting to you that the dysfunctional idiot content of wider society is not anywhere near as high as you might be thinking / fearing.
I am further suggesting that if you deliberately went out on a determined search to find another person who is as big a dickhead as your current spouse, you would be in for a pretty long and arduous search before you found such a "prize". You would likely have to get to know and evaluate 100 people before you uncovered another - equal in dickheadedness to your present spouse.
Indeed, I reckon you could probably walk into a pub, blindfolded, and pick something way way better than what you've got in minutes.
Your thoughts ??
Tread your own path.