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I Live With a Hoarder

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 136 People

    Post One: Members Please Respond!

    Hi Everyone, I just finally joined this group because I think I need the thoughts of my peers on living with someone who hoards. Peers---you know, the group of people who KNOW what it is like with someone who gets furious at the thought of throwing something away. People who...
    josielechat josielechat 41-45, F Sep 5, 2013

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    I Used To .....

    My (soon to be) ex-wife started collecting used books to sell about eight years ago. Until then I would say our house was cluttered, but not unmanagable. I could get the car into the garage, we could have guests over, and I could walk around the house in the dark without...
    AlaskanStranger AlaskanStranger 51-55, M 4 Responses Nov 16, 2010

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    My Husbands Hoarding Is Driving Me Crazy, Mentally, Physically And Spiritually

    We live in a gorgeous 1840's home, with a huge carriage house and a poultry house. EVERY building, room and even the yard are filled with mountains of stuff! I have spent countless hours, days, cleaning and organizing, only to have him fill all the 'empty' spaces back up with in...
    amaranthusc13 amaranthusc13 56-60, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    This Is My Dining Room Table

    One of the biggest places we fight about is the kitchen counter and the dining room table. The table hasn't been available for most of the last 5 or 6 years, so we stopped having meals together as a family.   The kitchen counter is also full of junk too.  I eat most of my...
    Western44 Western44 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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    There's Just Too Much **stuff**!

    We moved in with my boyfriend almost 3 years ago, with only our treasures (22 boxes for 5 of us). He cleared a room out for all our stuff. In that time, I have found 3 boxes of old girlfriends personal stuff; receipts for cars that haven't run in 8 years; 38 boxes of his Dad's...
    Sylvie66 Sylvie66 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 6, 2010

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    Live Ammo And Mouse Droppings

    I've live with a hoarder friend who isn't nearly as bad as the one's on tv. But I still have a lot to contend with. Thankfully I am moving soon. I've noticed that hoarders seem oblivious to the dangers inherent in hoarding. The other day I had to move a rotting box in the back...
    sunnyKid sunnyKid 56-60, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2013

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    Should I Give Up Trying To Live In My Home

    I really need to hear from some other people who live with a hoarder. My husband hoards hot wheel cars, action figures,lava lamps, stickers, magazines, misc. toys, and bits of paper (notebooks) basically everything. I married him 5 years ago and he lived in a small one room...
    AnnaLeonette AnnaLeonette 46-50 3 Responses Feb 4, 2013

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    This Is My Garage

    This is a shot of my garage from last year. My concern here was that, in addition to blocking the exit door, she had piled boxes up against the gas furnace and gas water heater:Some time in 2012, I started to change the way I thought about this mess, probably because I started...
    Western44 Western44 46-50, M 5 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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    Mother Hoards

    While not as bad as some people whom I've seen, my mother is perhaps a mild hoarder. In short, she has way, way too much crap and refuses to dispose of anything. I think her problem is more she likes to throw stuff in random spots and then not pick it back up or throw it away...
    StrawberryPocky StrawberryPocky 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 6, 2010

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    Looking To Help Families And Individuals Declutter And Clear. Do You Know A Hoarder We Can Help?

    ARE YOU A HOARDER? Is it starting to affect your health, job and social life? Or is hoarding a problem for someone you know? READY FOR CHANGE? The award-winning TwentyTwenty Television wants to hear from hoarders, and those close to them, for a new series of the Channel 4 show...
    Annabelle2020 Annabelle2020 26-30 1 Response Sep 9, 2013

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    I Can'T Change Him

    I live with a "friend" that holds on to anything broken or of any use. We have broken tables, box fans, xbox's, televisions, computers and random parts, you name it. There's random liquor bottles that he won't throw away because they're "memories." He has clothing he doesn't...
    doscal doscal 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 21, 2013

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    Are You In Need Of A Serious Spring Clean?

    betty are making a second series of the hit show OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE CLEANERS for Channel 4 and we are looking for people to take part. This primetime features series see a team of compulsive cleaners teach Britain’s most disorganised people some valuable lessons in...
    occ2 occ2 22-25, F May 21, 2013

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    Teen Hoarders

    I have been living with teen family members. I am the guardian and I know that they have experienced trauma but I cannot take living like this. I have tried all of the reward and/or punishments recommended by therapists and nothing makes any difference. Most therapists say...
    JES60 JES60 61-65 1 Response Jun 8, 2013

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    Hoarding: The Nightmare I Can't Run From

              I grew up in a house with my grandmother, and mom. My grandmother took the place of my dad, and my mom got in to cocaine. I was born in '82. The house we lived in has two floors, a big open finished basement, where my mom, younger brother, and I lived. The...
    firespirit2525 firespirit2525 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2011

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    I am new to all of this.

    I genuinely believe my husband is a hoarder, and that he and his family (parents especially) are in denial. He says that he isn't a hoarder because he re-sells his items. The fact is, most of this stuff has been sitting here for more than a year, and continues to pile up as he...
    whattodoinGa whattodoinGa 41-45, F 2 Responses May 5

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    My Father

    And it's only getting worse. He used to have it under control, but now he just keeps bringing more and more stuff he never uses. Not only that, but when I or somebody else tries to throw something out, he packs into the garage, when there is already NO ROOM in there. We have all...
    Infinite9 Infinite9 70+, F 4 Responses Dec 23, 2011

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    My Mother Is A Hoarder.

    One of the most vivid memories from my childhood was me sitting in the middle of a cluttered living room with my mother painting a picture. While I was painting, my dad was running around the house throwing old newspapers all over the floor and screaming at my mother to "clean up...
    rainy1791 rainy1791 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 12, 2013

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    This Is My Bedroom

    Some of the worst areas of the house are the ones where people don't visit, mainly our bedroom and the garage.This is a shot of our bedroom from about 18 months ago:My problem here is that it is not possible to easily reach parts of the room, because the pathway is blocked with...
    Western44 Western44 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 29, 2013

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    Kids Rooms

    One thing my wife can never accept is the idea that when a room gets too messy, it's probably an indication that there is too much stuff in it. Here is a shot of my daughter's room from 2003: You can see that the shelves are filled up, and there is basically no room for her to...
    Western44 Western44 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 29, 2013

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    I Love Big Daddy, But.........

    I can't take it.  The man refuses to throw anything away! I have tried to sneak stuff in the trash, he will actually dig through the trash to bring it back in the house and then rant and rave about how I don't respect him or his things. HELP!!!!!!!
    natashamarie natashamarie 41-45, F 5 Responses Jun 4, 2010

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    I Am So Unhappy

    My mother is supposed to be living with me and helping me financially ..but she is a hoarder who wont admit it. I realized the problem when I wanted to throw away a bag of shoes with no mates. She almost hit me when I wanted to throw the bag away. She already took up every space...
    Helpdeenewme Helpdeenewme 31-35 1 Response Dec 6, 2012

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    My Stbx Hoards - Any Advice?

    I live with a hoarder. YOu can read more of my stories on "ILIASM" here on EP, to get the background to what's going on. Basically two kids, he's on disability, I lost my job 2 years ago and am a student. We separated this summer, but he still lives in the basement. And hoards...
    zsuzsilowinger zsuzsilowinger 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2012

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    3 yrs ago we got a mortgage on a home i new his

    mom was a hoarder he swore he was organized and a clean person well my living room looks like a storage unit we got into a lot of fights due to his clutter and unorganized ways i'll ask him to clean up his clutter and he will throw a temper tantrum walk out the front door...
    alicegingrich alicegingrich 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 28

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    "It Runs In the Family."

    My Momma has a lot of stuff. We have a back room that I have never been able to get in because she has so much crap. Not only her, but also her sister and her mom and many Aunts are just like her. When I was cleaning my room, Mom and I used to fight about what I wanted to keep...
    rhawn rhawn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 4, 2009

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    Living In A Landfill

    Twenty years ago I thought I had found my soul-mate. We had such a fun life and so much fun together. When I met him, he had lots of boy toys which I found fun. Now I can't believe all the things he has accumulated over the years. When I first moved in with him, his house was...
    MentalRemix MentalRemix 56-60, F 7 Responses Jan 2, 2013

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    Any Help

    on how to live with a hoarder.  husband constantly accuses me of thowing away good stuff and giving away good stuff. gets angry and very upset. the house is under control because i will not have that going on. his anger is what i am tired of and is wearing me down along with the...
    nmremss nmremss 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2011

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    What's With The Anger?

    I just read more of the member stories and hoarders are pretty consistent, judging by what everyone has said. But the anger is what gets me. Excuse me for a little rant, but where the hell do they get off getting ANGRY at their spouses, other family, and/or loved ones who are...
    josielechat josielechat 41-45, F Sep 13, 2013

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    I Don't Know What To Do..

    So, just recently I've made a living situation at my moms house where I stay mainly with my boyfriend through the week and weekend, but twice to three times a week I stay at her house. Long story short, when I was a kid her house was spotless. I could play in the living room...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 3, 2013

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    I live with my boyfriend,

    his aunt and elderly grandmother. His aunt hoards everything she can get her hands on and she also has severe OCD and possibly bi-polar disorder. She recognises her issues and the dangers that the hoarding could pose as well as the damage is has done physically to the house...
    DeeLu2012 DeeLu2012 22-25, F Jan 27

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    Wits End

    My boyfriend of 6 years is a hoarder. The last 3 years has become a problem. I can't even go into our bedroom as it makes me have anxiety. My driveway looks like a car lot and the basement, I can't even talk about. The other rooms I MAKE sure they stay tidy. But I am in a no win...
    frustrated1968 frustrated1968 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 10, 2012

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    My best friend offered to let me stay at her

    place until I get on my feet, and I am super grateful but she is a hoarder. She doesn't think she has a problem. When I first moved in I washed dishes, cleaned the living areas, picked up tons of cat and dog dung with the best intentions. No matter how much I cleaned the mess...
    fargomum fargomum 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    Wasted Years--never Seems To End

    This is my story. Initially I posted it as a response to another member's post. Sorry, I wasn't familiar with the site layout... I have lived with a hoarder for 25 years, and sometimes I think I have lost my mind as well. It has caused me serious loss of self-esteem. I am...
    CAshley2012 CAshley2012 51-55, F 8 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    *sigh*

    I live with my boyfriend and his mother. So recently we decided we wanted to move, and started looking for a new house. We finally find one, and its perfect. Small, and out in the country. I had known for a long time that his mother had a lot of things, but I don't think I...
    lastleafoffall lastleafoffall 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 6, 2009

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    I Think I May Live With A Hoarder

    My boyfriend and I have been dating about 3 years. Aside from other issues, I believe he suffers from hoarding. It's steadily gotten worse. It's not to the point where he saves animal feces or anything but just regular cleanliness is an issue. Like, for a long time I wasn't...
    thingsicantsayinperson thingsicantsayinperson 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2012

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    My Husband Can't Throw It Away!

    My story is certainly not as torturous as some I have read.  However, it has taken me years to realize that my constant struggle to manage all the stuff my husband collects and saves has drained and exhausted me.  I do not let things get totally gross or unhealthy, but...
    nmgrl51 nmgrl51 56-60 2 Responses Oct 31, 2010

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    This Is The First Chapter...

    I joke with my wife that I am being buried alive... but it is the truth. What do I do? My house is becoming unmanagable. Our house is not unclean, but she feels the need to bring home more and more each day. The garage has become her personal garbage pit, each room space for...
    temp10z temp10z 36-40, M 5 Responses Feb 20, 2011

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    Ruin

    I think I have to throw my gf out. We've been living together for 4 years and the clutter is worse now than when we first moved in together. Every room and 2 garages are packed with her stuff. When I remove anything and she discovers I did I get ignored for days. Part of me...
    NorthernNoise NorthernNoise 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 22, 2013

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    Why Don'T Hoarders Just Throw It Out?

    I'm a big fan of the series, Hoarders: Buried Alive. My wife insists she is not a hoarder, because we don't have rats or roaches. But I think she qualifies as a Level 3 hoarder, which is someone who collects things that don't have any perceivable value, and who has portions of...
    Western44 Western44 46-50, M 4 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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    Hiya my mum is a hoarder we live in a 5 bedroom

    frm house and the tidiest room in the house is my two little brothers room that got to show how bad it is right? I have actually moved into a caravan outside the house with my boyfriend of 4years who has never stepped foot into my house I will upload photos to show you the...
    cazzajam123 cazzajam123 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    Mother In Law Is A Hoarder

    I just had a baby and had agreed to move in with my in-laws. I knew visiting her that she was messy but did not realize until you live with someone do you really get to see the big picture. She is a hoarder of anything deemed "useful" which really isn't and she is a major food...
    feistypepper feistypepper 26-30, F Nov 19, 2012

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    Piggy Bank

    This isn't an important item. This isn't a story about a big event. But it's these little things that wear me down and make like a hassle at times. I'm working on the attic. Out of season storage. Excess blankets and sheets. And I grab a few things that can be thrown out...
    josielechat josielechat 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 27, 2013

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    Drownding!

    New here and looking for some support. My wife of 33 years has turned to Thrif Store shopping for entertainment and to fill some missing need in her life I can't fullfill. The kids have moved out and with in several months of them leaving, they can't come back because there...
    Smurfys5 Smurfys5 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 2, 2013

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    We have a roommate, a friend of mine

    that ive known for about 20 years. She fell on hard times and needed a place to stay. So i rented her a room for next to nothing to help her out. I dont mind that, and im glad to help. The problem comes in with the fact she keeps trying to pack enough stuff to fit inside a house...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    Hello,I live with my husband

    for over 10 years and had no idea what was the problem ,until I've watched a show on tv. My husband is a hoarder since the day I've meet him but I never realized until lately.I love mu home to be nice and clean ,it just makes me feel very sad and angry and depressed knowing that...
    ManuelaL ManuelaL 31-35, F Feb 12

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    I just discovered two days ago. 6 years after we started to see each other, he spat the words, angrily. It was like he hated saying it. Like it was a secret, his dirty little...
    AyanasSight AyanasSight 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 12

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    Hi guys, I'm new to this group and joined specifically to gain some support on this issue. I am currently living with my fiancée and we are set to marry on October 10, 2015. When...
    dollusions dollusions 46-50, F 10 hrs ago

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    Were moving in with my moms boyfriend and his daughter soon. His daughter has Cerebral Palsy (I think thats how you spell it). I was just wondering.... Idk. I guess more about it...
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