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I Live With a Passive Aggressive Male

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 79 People

    I take my him to light rail

    for work faithfully 6-7am every morning. Since we have only one vehicle it's like my sole duty unless he wants to use the car. Today I woke up as usual and dropped him off at the light rail around 7am. I was freaking sleepy today but I still went about my cleaning, grocery...
    SoAntagonistic SoAntagonistic 26-30, M 2 Responses Jun 19

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    I Never Said That!"

    Most of us have experienced some confusion and despair dealing with a spouse, other family member or close acquaintance. The behavior we want to discuss with you today is so frustrating because we do not know how to handle it and we cannot see the reason the person behaves so...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 1 Response May 19, 2013

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    When People Recognize Their Man (Loved One ) May Be Passive Aggressive They:

    * are surprised. * get disappointed. * get angry. * are confused by p/a  behavior. * confronts  P/A  on their actions. * realize that THE P/A  lied to them. * get frustrated by the inconsistency in P/A  behavior. * begin to do battle with the P/A - resulting in a conflict...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 15, 2013

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    How Does Your Passive Aggressive Husband Need You?

    A most frustrating aspect of living with a passive aggressive man is that he has perfected the art of not following through on his agreements and promises. He takes on big projects but never finishes them, then tends to feel put upon or hostile if someone else tries to finish it...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 11, 2013

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    P/a Man

    The man with this type of pattern shows little consideration of the time, feelings, standards or needs of others. He obstructs and block progress to others getting what they want and then ignores or minimalizes their dissatisfactions and anger. He is silent when confronted as he...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 11, 2012

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    Why Are Pisces Men So Passive/careless?!!

    Why are Pisces men so passive/careless?!!? I'm having a really hard time "getting over" my Pisces ex. I'm a Capricorn woman. We were really in love, he claims that I was the first girl he actually "wanted" to be loyal too. But when we were together, I had major trust issues with...
    baditude baditude 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2012

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    Passive /a Part 5

    He Hurts Everyone in His Path, Including Himself They're the men who seem so nice, and trustworthy. They don't hurt you out in the open, but in a very subtle way, you may not even be aware of. Just the same, they can hurt the people they say they care about the most. A...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 2 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    I am 72 years old and am on my 2nd bout of

    breast cancer. Had years of depression and a breakdown. Took overdoses etc.etc. Had a son who died from Muscular dystrophy at 17 years old. But best of all - a husband who never once showed a bit of care, love, compassion. then yesterday I went on the internet and had my...
    veganjo veganjo 70+ 1 Response Apr 16

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    What Is Passive Aggressiveness ?

    I act in a passive aggressive way when I: * hide my hostility by seeming to be nice to someone I dislike, and am unable to be honest with the person. * say I agree with something but don't follow through because I really don't agree with it. * act opposite to what others are...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 15, 2013

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    I Got Out And I'm Thriving!

    It's been four years since the day I asked my exhusband to move out and I'm still figuring things out. I keep realizing how deep his Passive Aggressive tendencies were. I used to think it was just a lack of communication. Now I see how much he was holding me back, how anytime I...
    diwali123 diwali123 41-45 1 Response Jun 7, 2012

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    How The Woman'S Needs Contributes To The Unhealthy Dynamics Of The Relationship

    Passive aggressive behavior does not happen in a vacuum; it requires a partner to bounce things off of. This problems exists between people--one who resists and one who get frustrated. The need for a woman to choose and remain with a passive aggressive partner is a dynamic that...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F Jun 12, 2013

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    Dealing With Passive Aggressive People. My Experience.

    Dealing with someone who is passive aggresive can be very tiring. When it finally dawns on you, you realise that you do not even know the person whom you are dealing with. Malice veiled in faux companionship. What veiled malice you ask? To deceive one into believing that one is...
    Scorpio1987 Scorpio1987 22-25, M 4 Responses May 17, 2012

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    Another Story On P/a

    It takes a special kind of woman to choose and marry a passive aggressive man. The woman who marries the passive aggressive man was taught in her family of origin to accept a high level of frustration for a minimal level of love and caring. When a woman marries the passive...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    Passive /a Part 3

    He may have multiple relationships with women as a way of keeping distant from one fully committed relationship. He is confused about which woman he wants and stays caught between the two women in his life not being able to commit fully to either. He is confused and can't...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F Aug 15, 2012

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    Well I use to live with one

    if these creatures that's because he iSync father but my parents split up and I have a step dad. My dad is passive aggressive with me. So I cut him off and no longer talk to him.
    REALWORDS823 REALWORDS823 16-17, F Mar 23

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    Passive Aggressive Part 4

    The man with passive aggressive actions is a master in getting his partner to doubt herself and feel guilty for questioning or confronting him. He encourages her to fall for his apologies, accept his excuses and focus on his charm rather than deal with the issue directly. He...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2012

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    I Took Your Advice.

    Someone commented the other day that I should read all I could about Passive Aggressive Males. I came to EP in a state of sadness and rage over my sexless marriage and now it seems I am married to a PAM. So many of the descriptions fitted my husband perfectly. It actually made me...
    daetz2012 daetz2012 51-55 1 Response Jul 10, 2013

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    Hello! I am newly married

    and the blinders are now coming off. I have taught my husband how to treat me, I take responsibility for this, but he is text book passive aggressive. He makes promises that are empty. He tells everyone he knows about our personal issues so he feels like he's right, gaining...
    Blingjeansqueen Blingjeansqueen 46-50, F 4 Responses Feb 24

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    He Promises Everything and Then Comes Through With Nothing But Excuses

    Each day I wish I were not with him. He procrastinates or promises to do something and never completes what he said he would do. His temper flares for the smallest issues and I am always the supposed cause of everything that goes wrong for him. He is either sickingly sweet or...
    lovelyladybug lovelyladybug 56-60, F 8 Responses Sep 23, 2009

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    Ok I Have To Write Fast, He's Outside ...doing..whatever!

    I  have been with my PA for 2 years May 31st.  When i met him he was dying of pancreatic cancer. He was so kind, loving and appreciative I didn't care if all i had was 2 months with him. November 2008 we found out the tumor was gone (I had been giving him cancer tea...
    Toratora47 Toratora47 46-50, F 4 Responses Jun 4, 2010

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    Could Use Some Help.

    I've been reading some of the posts on here. They really struck a chord. And I am many of the things written. Basically, the point I'm trying to make is that I would like all the constructive advice you're willing to share. And if anyone would be ok with pen palling on the...
    MastaFluff MastaFluff 22-25, M 2 Responses May 8, 2013

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    And So I'm Divorcing Him

    Im'm a member of the sexless marriage group. I am only recently learning that the cause of his intmacy neglect is his passive-aggressive behavior.
    Gigimus Gigimus 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 4, 2013

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    The Passive-aggressive Controller

    The Passive-Aggressive Controller Perhaps you know someone who displays several of the seven signs of passive aggression. This type of person … 1.Repeatedly promises to do things and then “forgets.” 2.Continually finds seemingly plausible excuses to delay taking action...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 5 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    I Will Finally Be Free Feb. 5

    I was married for 3 years to a PA man.  It was a nightmare.  When we were in public, he was affectionate and loving, in private he would completely ignore me and refused to touch me sexually.  We were in counseling - and he was sullen and did not participate. ...
    iheartemus iheartemus 26-30, F 7 Responses Jan 22, 2010

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    Passive /a Part 2

    The biggest irritant in being with a passive aggressive man is that he doesn't follow through on his agreements and promises. He dodges responsibility while insisting he's pulling his weight. He often ignores reality as to his irresponsibility and withdrawal. He denies evidence...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F Aug 15, 2012

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    Crazy Making

    if you are dealing with a passive aggressive, You have a lot of anger toward  man you are involved with. You just can’t figure out exactly what you are angry about. He is sweet, kind and loving. He never argues, does exactly what you wish. There must be something wrong with...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 13, 2013

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    Symptoms Of Passive Agressive

    Symptoms People with this disorder resent responsibility and show it through their behaviors, rather than by openly expressing their feelings. They often use procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others to do...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 3 Responses May 10, 2013

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    NOTE: This is the "condensed" version.

    For the expanded version please see Dr. Wetzler's book, pages 35-37...... *FEAR OF DEPENDENCY - Unsure of his autonomy & afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs - usually by trying to control you...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 9 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    Ranting Maniac! (me That Is)

    I have been involved with a passive agressive man for 6 years.  The first couple of years, I could not figure out what was going on with him.  Sometimes he was loving, kind and funny.  Then he would turn around and become cold, selfish, and acted like he was not...
    bphoenix bphoenix 61-65, F 4 Responses Nov 10, 2009

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    So today is my day off

    and I wanted to sleep in. My boyfriend woke me up and kinda demanded that I call and set up his doctors appointment today. I asked why he couldn't do it and why he had been put it off since today seemed like the last day he could schedule. He shook his head and said that I was...
    SoAntagonistic SoAntagonistic 26-30, M 1 Response May 7

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    Relationships With P / A

    relationships Often times when he gets into a relationship, or married, he ends up choosing very strong, overbearing, controlling women. Remember, what I said, people often pick the opposite of themselves, and then it gets them off the hook for ever having to learn how to be...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F Aug 15, 2012

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    Everyone Thinks I'm So"Lucky" To Be With My Husband

    I've been with my PA husband for 21 1/2 years. It took me awhile (20 years) to realize that he is passive aggressive. When we first met he was very charming and sweet. As time went on, he shows absolutely no emotion whatsoever. He plays the victim whenever he can. Promises are...
    irenexenn irenexenn 46-50, F 4 Responses Jul 17, 2013

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    Agreement, Resistance And Hidden Hostility As Major Characteristics

    Agreement, Resistance and Hidden Hostility as Major Characteristics The man with passive aggressive behavior needs someone to be the object of his hidden hostility. He needs an adversary whose expectations and demands he can resist as he plays out the dance he learned from his...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 12, 2013

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    I Thought I Was Crazy

    I have been with my husband since I was sixteen. Married at 20. He has always been passive aggressive but I didn't know there was a name for it. If he has to do something or go somewhere he doesn't want to he will start a fight or say something isn't working right whatever to get...
    Eare Eare 41-45 4 Responses Apr 12, 2012

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    Passive Agressive Behaviors

    Passive Agressive FEAR OF INTIMACY - Guarded & mistrusful, he is reluctant to show his emotional fragility. He's often out of touch with his feelings, instinctually denying feelings he thinks will "trap" or reveal him, like love. He picks fights to create distance...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2012

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    Passive Agressive Man Part 1

    There are many childhood set ups for this way of coping but most often there is a domineering mother and a father who is ineffectual. There are power struggles in the marriage with one parent backing off and withdrawing. The boy feels trapped between choosing loyalties at home...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    The Passive Aggressive And You:

    The Passive Aggressive and You: The passive aggressive needs to have a relationship with someone who can be the object of his or her hostility. They need someone whose expectations and demands he/she can resist. The biggest frustration in being with a passive aggressive is...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F Aug 15, 2012

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    This may or may not be a form of PA behavior

    but it started a huge argument over something so small. He was texting his friend and didn't know how to spell "Cory/Corey" so I told him Cory and he kept asking me am I sure. I even gave famous names of people who have that particular spelling. Mind you it's the first one to...
    SoAntagonistic SoAntagonistic 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 18

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    Inside The Passive Aggressive:

    Inside the Passive Aggressive: The passive aggressive has a real desire to connect emotionally but their fear of such a connection causes them to be obstructive and engage in self-destructive habits. He will be covert in his actions and it will only move him further from his...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I have been around passive aggressive people long enough to recognize the signs when I see them. That being said, it is extra offensive and disappointing to me when I recognize...
    Aimee17 Aimee17 36-40, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    It’s very difficult to tell, whether you’ve made an enemy out of a passive aggressive person. They will probably deflect any attempt from you to read their emotional state. It...
    TheGreatLeveler TheGreatLeveler 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 14

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    Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, sarcasm, stubbornness, sullenness, or deliberate or repeated failure to...
    PandorasDream PandorasDream 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 11

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    Quoted from http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/a/passiveaggressivehusband.htm "The passive aggressive husband won’t return his wife’s anger. He will ,get...
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 36-40, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Passive aggressive people are constantly thinking of making others feel less of them selfs its like mostly every1 can be victom the best thing ive done was to just ignore people...
    missyluvsmissy4me missyluvsmissy4me 41-45, F Jul 6

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    Has anyone ever dealt with a revenge seeking passive aggressive co worker? If so how did you handle it? Thanks
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    This morning he stomped into the bedroom where I for once was sleeping in. I've had a bad cold with a cough for 2 weeks so I'm a bit tired. We had spoken about the family coming...
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 36-40, F 4 days ago

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    I have lived with my parents basically since was eight years old. Actually, let me back up. My biological parents have been divorced since I was only three. After that, I lived...
    RopinTexan RopinTexan 22-25, M 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Well I could live without tv but not without the internet. I use it for everything, to keep in touch with my family and friends, to get the daily news, to apply for jobs, to study...
    JosDor1510 JosDor1510 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 27

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    i am a guy who lives with his grandmother - I don't know if i my tell this but sometimes it is hard for me to concentrate on my work. she constantly does things that not must do...
    TzickyT TzickyT 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 1

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    The pain of seeing loving husband drink himself to death is unbearable, how do I live with it
    kimstokes kimstokes 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 13

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