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I Live With a Spouse That Suffers From Chronic Pain

Support for spouses of people with chronic pain 313 People

    Frustrated and Feeling Guilty

    I have been married for 15 years and 10 of those years my husband has been suffering with chronic pain. The chronic pain comes from a spinal birth defect, so he has had a number of surgeries to help, but none have taken the pain away completely. So that is the basic background...
    lonelygirrl lonelygirrl 41-45 8 Responses Dec 20, 2008

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    Hi, I'm Mel. I am not married,

    but my boyfriend of nearly a year suffers from chronic pain. He ruptured a disk in his lower lumbar region 14 years ago, had many surgeries on it, and was one of the first in this country to go through disk replacement. He suffered a great deal of nerve damage when his disk...
    docnukentatz docnukentatz 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 17

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    Trying To Keep My Joy While Living With My Husbands Chronic Back Pain

    I know I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure. But sometimes that doesn't comfort me as I buffer what comes with my spouses chronic back pain. He hurt his back over 3 years ago. He is a business owner amongst other endeavors. So he is completely stressed out all the time and has...
    crazyblonde76 crazyblonde76 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 21, 2013

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    Trying To Find A Balance...

    My husband and I met 6 years ago, married 2 years ago. We both like the outdoors, planned on going on hikes, hunting together (he was teaching me), and doing lots of other outdoor activities - nothing extreme, just active. His back pain started about 3 years ago, mild, has now...
    basicgirl basicgirl 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 15, 2012

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    My Wife Still Has A Wonderful Spirit.

    My Wife has had chronic back and neck pain for 7 years. It started in 06 with a car accident that left her with ruptured discs and small bone fragments in her spine. After countless trips to doctors and hospitals she lives with constant pain. Her morning starts by trying to...
    Faron451 Faron451 46-50, M 2 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    My Spirit And My Best Friend Have Been Ripped Away From Me.

    I have been married to my husband for 10 years this August, and quite honestly this last year has been the worst year of my entire life. Due to a work related injury involving the lumbar region of his back he has been in constant pain since. He used to be my best friend, but I...
    Fallinthestars Fallinthestars 31-35 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    I Happen To Be The Spouse In Chronic Pain, No One Ever Told US About The Emotional And Psychological Changes...

    I googled what amounted to the title of this group. I'm 47, and I've had chronic back pain for over a decade. 5 herniated thoracic discs, along with lumbar that are close behind had made my life a nightmare. However, in the last few years I have been actively looking for...
    AlsGal AlsGal 46-50, F 4 Responses May 13, 2013

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    My husband had a back injury at work 18 months

    ago. He had pain treatment that lasted 12 months & now that has worn off & he has it done again but this time it was not sucessful on his left side so they have to redo it. But he is waiting until his company okays the proceedure but that is taking forever because of some...
    vegas170712 vegas170712 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    Feeling Alone...

    My husband has degenerative discs and has been in pain for the last 6 years, 6 very long years. I feel like the man that I fell in love with doesn't exsist anymore. The first 10 years of our realationship was wonderful, our friends called us the Happy Couple and now we barely...
    needlaughter needlaughter 41-45, F 8 Responses Sep 4, 2013

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    What Is This Pain That I Cannot See????????????//

    I am 17 years into a second marriage, my husband is 11 years older than myself. One year after we were married he took a disability retirement in his forties rather than moving across country with his job. His disability at that time was injuries resulting from combat in vietnam...
    dreamingofbetterlife dreamingofbetterlife 46-50 3 Responses Aug 4, 2011

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    I just found this site.

    Every story I read sounds like my own. My wife is the love of my life. My everything. The past two years I have seen her go from an amazingly passionate and loving woman...always up for our next big adventure....always craving me and me her...so open....to now...reclusive. Non...
    dempag dempag 41-45, M 3 Responses Jul 20

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    My Spouse Live With Central Pain-The Holy Grail Of Pain

    Your stories of caring for your spouses resonate with me.. My husband suffers from central pain. There is no cure, it is for the rest of his life. He is already on maximum treatment - nothing that the Doctors can do more for him. It is not terminal- he is not going to die...
    DragonflyJ DragonflyJ 36-40 6 Responses Apr 10, 2013

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    Living In Sin Was Better Than Living As Husband And Wife

    I am the spouse of a chronic pain sufferer. My husband has several herniated discs in the lumbar region as well as other issues due to weight and the pain meds he takes. We've been together for 5 years, married almost one. While he always suffered from back pain, he was more...
    newlywedyetalone newlywedyetalone 36-40 7 Responses May 20, 2013

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    I have been having a particularly hard weekend

    dealing with the loneliness of living with a spouse with chronic pain so I searched the web and found this site. As I read some of these posts, I see that I am not alone in all the feelings I experience daily. My heart breaks for all of you who are going through what I am going...
    hispainismypain hispainismypain 61-65, F 3 Responses Jul 12

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    My husband of 13 yrs has been living with

    chronic pain (testicular) for over 4 years now. The cause is due to a nerve disease. He's always been hilarious, the life of the party, etc. This illness has changed him in so many ways and while he fights to still be that guy, the pain has taken it's toll and we've had to...
    watershed watershed 31-35, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    Living With The Sights And Sounds Of Chronic Pain

    My wife is my high school sweetheart. She was a cheerleader and a straight A student. When we started dating she was 15 and I was 16. That was about 35 years ago. We've been married for 26 years. Her chronic pain has been present for the last 20 years in the form of...
    mostmaker mostmaker 51-55 1 Response Jun 28, 2013

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    I've been on this site now

    for a little while and am trying to create a support group for people who are working to cope with chronic pain in their spouse. This site would help provide more resources and would narrow in on specific topics each day. Definitely not trying to take away from this site at all...
    JustKeepSinging JustKeepSinging 26-30 2 Responses Mar 31

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    When Is Enough, Enough?

    My spouse has suffered from severe chronic back pain for the last 3 years of our 7 year marriage.  Recently it's gotten so bad that he has begun to take it out on me.  I try to support him, I rarely (I'm not perfect!) complain about him not being able to help out with...
    Mimi80 Mimi80 26-30, F 13 Responses Sep 20, 2009

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    My husband suffers from chronic wide spread

    nerve pain. He has been diagnosed with small fiber neuropathy, fibromyalgia, and myofacial pain syndrome. The best way to describe what he feels 24/7 is that feeling you get when your foot falls asleep and your try to walk on it, the pins and needles pain you get. That's how it...
    overwhelmedandexhausted overwhelmedandexhausted 26-30, F Jul 16

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    Partner Has Chronic Pain I Just Can'T Deal With His Pain Anymore Help Please.

    I have been with my partner for 22 years I am 54 and he is 49 he has had back pain most of his life but in the last 4 years it has worsened he has had surgery but says the pain is no better and thinks the surgeon had done something wrong as the surgeon cant work out why he is...
    wanderinggypsy1 wanderinggypsy1 51-55, F 5 Responses May 2, 2013

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    Hello, this is my first ever post.

    I found this site as I was researching what to do about the chaos in my marriage and the excruciatingly quick turn of events that I have caused it to spiral downhill. My wife gave birth to our first and only daughter 15 months ago. She is the sweetest child! But since then my...
    strugglinglove strugglinglove 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 4

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    Missing Somebody You See Every Day

    Anybody who lives with somebody who suffers from chronic pain, understands what its like to miss somebody you see every day. This one is for you: I saw you today, In what seems like such a long time, That moment on waking When you’ve had a chance to forget Or perhaps you...
    Ubderstand1 Ubderstand1 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    The Hidden Pain Of Back Pain

    My husband and I have been married for 12 years and in that time he has had three back surgeries and recently had a spinal fusion surgery. In addition to that he has had a number of surgeries for other injuries that he sustained at work but none that impede his everyday life...
    betula betula 46-50 3 Responses Nov 21, 2012

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    Everyone Experiences Pain Differently

    I have chronic pain, but have been able to manage it as a part of my life. Five years ago, I was in bad shape and thought I would never walk again, but with the help of doctors, family, and my doting husband, I was able to progress and am at a not pain-free, but more stable point...
    Beenthere78 Beenthere78 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    No one knows what it's like to live with a

    spouse that suffers from chronic pain unless you've lived it...day in and day out. Some might say, well, just thank your lucky stars that YOU aren't the one in pain. Unfortunately, his pain IS my pain...in so many ways. I always say, it's death by a thousand pin...
    pinkpussycat4u pinkpussycat4u 51-55, F 7 Responses Apr 19

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    At A Crossroads

    I've been with my husband for 7years, married for 2.5 & we have a 20m/o son. My husband started getting back pain a year into our relationship and it has slowly but steadily gotten worse over the years. He's been diagnosed with fibromyalgia & sarcoidosis and most recently stomach...
    LucyLind LucyLind 31-35 1 Response Oct 17, 2013

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    Letting It Out

    I am married to the most amazing man in the universe. He is my favorite person in the whole world and I am so SO very thankful that we were brought together, for he has and does bring me immense happiness. I sometimes get lost in my thoughts about how lucky I am to have my...
    Ifeeltoo Ifeeltoo 31-35 5 Responses Jul 3, 2013

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    Wife Of A Husband Who Has Chronic Pain...is Anyone Out There Still???

    I am looking for support from other spouses in my situation and this was the only group I could find but it looks like the latest posts on here were from last year :( Is anyone still on here?????????
    PittMom PittMom 31-35, F 69 Responses Dec 25, 2010

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    Actually we both suffer chronic pain.

    you might think this would bring us together or we would understand each other. But he says i discount his pain as though it is nothing. I know his pain is not nothing, that to him it may cost him everything today. I know because it is the same with me. but knowing does not mean...
    zionpegasus zionpegasus 41-45 1 Response Mar 17

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    Hey I just found this site.

    It sounds cliche but I thought I was alone. My man has 5 discs out had surgery and was paralyzed for three months after. We have only been together for two years I love him so much in the beginning he was worried that I would leave him as that's what his first wife did when he...
    Onlythelonelt Onlythelonelt 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 10

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    Feeling Alone & Confused...

    My partner and I had been together for 4 months when he had a work place accident. I had just asked him to move in & i was truly in love for the first time. After over a year of searching for answers, we have been told he has nerve root damage & will be in chronic pain for the...
    jrabbit83 jrabbit83 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 7, 2013

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    It All Changed

    I lost my husband to chronic pain. Pain is the third entity in our marriage. I think of her as his mistress. Pain (as I have appropriately named her) decides what we do and when. She took over our sex life and doesn't share. She allows him to work, but brings him home exhausted...
    myforlornheart myforlornheart 56-60, F 19 Responses Nov 11, 2012

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    Hi, I am grateful to be able to vent all this

    with this group because I really feel that the people around me just can't listen to this anymore. My husband suffers from chronic pain. We have been married for 5 years. When we got married he had some pain issues but nothing compared to what is happening now. He has...
    HurtHeart2 HurtHeart2 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 15

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    I have been married to a beautiful man

    for almost 19yrs and I've been married to him and his pain for about 14yrs. He is a true blessing to me and our four children, but his pain has continually gotten worse. He has had numerous back surgeries, injections and now has a dorsal stimulator. His is on some heavy duty...
    smbb smbb 31-35 3 Responses Feb 12

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    Husband Of A Wife With Chronic Pain

    My wife was injured in December 2010 when a distracted motorist struck her as a pedestrian while she was crossing the entrance of the parking garage at her place of work.  A later MRI revealed that she has a compression wedge fracture in the T11 and a dessicated disc in the L5...
    mdt38 mdt38 36-40, M 9 Responses Sep 3, 2011

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    This was supposed to be the happiest year of

    our lives. We welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the world 8 months ago and the first two months were amazing. It was then when my husbands back pain began. Since that time, it seems our lives have spiraled out of control. He is in so much pain everyday and all the treatments...
    abo1486 abo1486 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 16

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    The Guy Of My Dreams Suffers From Chronic Pain.

       I met my husband over six years ago and married him in 2008.  Initially, he desperately tried to make me understand how difficult it might be to love a person who suffers from chronic pain.  I did not care.  My husband had been in a relationship with another woman for...
    hedymorris hedymorris 51-55, F 4 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    In Sickness And In Health... Mostly In Sickness.

    This is a first post for me; I ask in advance that you forgive any rambling. I'll also attempt to keep this from degenerating into a meta-post about posting things. My wife and I met and fell in love like a lightning-strike. We've been happily married for 3 years now. When we...
    Psyshade Psyshade 31-35, M 6 Responses Sep 17, 2012

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    My Life With A Spouse In Constant Pain

    We got together in 1980. We were married in 84. In 85 my wife had her first fusion in her neck. It really did the trick. She lead a pretty normal life until 2001. The pain returned and she was diagnosed with more colapsed disk in her neck. Another fusion surgery. This one to...
    davesmith0881 davesmith0881 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 15, 2011

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    Living With A Chronic Pain Sufferer, Not Easy

    My husband and I have been married going on 15 years. We have two children, 12 & 3. He broke his back when he was younger playing football. He had his first spinal fusion in 2003. It was successful for the first two years then went down hill after that. He had the hardware...
    Soonerfan11 Soonerfan11 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    I think a lot about how much better my life

    would be if/when my fiancé would commit suicide. She suffers from CRPS which causes her to feel burning pain 24/7 and after 2 years, the number of treatment options has almost run out. I love her and these thoughts make me feel horrible. I have almost nobody I can tell these...
    WishThingsWereBetter WishThingsWereBetter 31-35, M 4 Responses Apr 19

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    To Love Or To Numb Out?

    My husband's chronic pain has changed our relationship and although I know this, and have been living with these changes for seven years, I occasionally hold out hope that the bubble he lives in will open and we will have an emotional relationship again. People ask me how he is...
    myforlornheart myforlornheart 56-60, F 8 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    Hi everyone! I've been searching

    for a safe place like this for me because I have been feeling so alone lately so I am happy to have finally found it. I am 24 years old and I am the full time caretaker of my partner, Mae, who is 23 and is diagnosed with fibromyalgia, arthritis, and is currently going through...
    allisondorn allisondorn 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 12

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    25 years ago my husband had sinus surgery

    that damaged the nerve. He later had a rhizotomy which assured him the nerve would be destroyed with facial numbness. He decided he could live with numbness instead of throbbing tooth pain. Well, ended up with dreaded anesthesia dolorosa and injured ganglion so has chronic...
    skcullers skcullers 61-65, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

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    The Love Of My Life Has A Neck Injury

    This site is an answer to prayer.....Thank You Lord! My husband and I have been married for 29 yrs this Feb. He was injured at work over 15 yrs ago. His injury gradually worsened, subtley. About 7 yrs ago, I began to express to him how I needed more attention. Well, I didn't...
    GailMarieCan GailMarieCan 46-50, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    Hi, thank you for this site.

    I feel like I need to vent a bit. I live with my g/f of 12 years we have lived together for 11 of those. She has lupus, which a lot of you will probably know comes along with chronic pain and random loss of mobility, as well as other symptoms. Anyway, I love her, but I'm not...
    Griever38 Griever38 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    Lonesome Guilt

    Its so easy to lose ones self in their significant others pain, the first few years are easy and fun then the onset of a chronic pain issue forces the honeymoon phase to end, My partner and I have been together for 5 years now, the first year was a dream come true, he was...
    nospoon4neo nospoon4neo 26-30 6 Responses Mar 17, 2013

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    Hello and so grateful to know I'm not alone.

    My husband had a hernia surgery about two and a half years ago and was diagnosed with chronic pain last year. The stories on this site resonate deep in my heart, feelings of fear and lack of intimacy, wanting the connection you with your spouse that you know existed once but...
    pressingon314 pressingon314 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 16

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    It'S The New Norm

    I met my husband post a spinal fusion in early 2000, he rehabilitated from the surgery after being unable to walk for 6 months and for the next 9 years we lived a normal life. In early 2010 a fall on ice at work created a re injury. Since then our life has been forever changed...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 26, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I've had 3 surgeries on my left ankle, 2 on my right foot. Those were all between ages 15-17. I suffer from chronic pain daily. If I hurt my foot twisting it or if the weather is...
    ranchlife14 ranchlife14 18-21, F Nov 13

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    I was injured in the Army from jumping out of planes...now I live with pain everyday.
    H00rah H00rah 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 17

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