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I Live With a Spouse That Suffers From Chronic Pain

Support for spouses of people with chronic pain 377 People

    Hello, this is my first ever post.

    I found this site as I was researching what to do about the chaos in my marriage and the excruciatingly quick turn of events that I have caused it to spiral downhill. My wife gave birth to our first and only daughter 15 months ago. She is the sweetest child! But since then my...
    strugglinglove strugglinglove 31-35, M 1 Response Sep 4, 2014

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    I Happen To Be The Spouse In Chronic Pain, No One Ever Told US About The Emotional And Psychological Changes...

    I googled what amounted to the title of this group. I'm 47, and I've had chronic back pain for over a decade. 5 herniated thoracic discs, along with lumbar that are close behind had made my life a nightmare. However, in the last few years I have been actively looking for...
    AlsGal AlsGal 46-50, F 4 Responses May 13, 2013

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    What Is This Pain That I Cannot See????????????//

    I am 17 years into a second marriage, my husband is 11 years older than myself. One year after we were married he took a disability retirement in his forties rather than moving across country with his job. His disability at that time was injuries resulting from combat in vietnam...
    dreamingofbetterlife dreamingofbetterlife 46-50 3 Responses Aug 4, 2011

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    Living With A Chronic Pain Sufferer, Not Easy

    My husband and I have been married going on 15 years. We have two children, 12 & 3. He broke his back when he was younger playing football. He had his first spinal fusion in 2003. It was successful for the first two years then went down hill after that. He had the hardware...
    Soonerfan11 Soonerfan11 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    I just want to say thank you

    for everyone who is posting their experiences on this website. Until today I thought I was alone. My husband who is a truck driver has gone through a back and neck fusion in 4 years due to workmen comp injury. I haven't work due to driving him to pt therapy and doctor appts...
    klchipman klchipman 51-55, F May 23

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    I'm the spouse with chronic pain.

    he has it too but not as severe as mine and our daughter does too. it's really hard and I feel useless. he doesn't make me feel that way. he's a wonderful husband but I feel useless anyway.
    crazybipolarchick crazybipolarchick 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 30

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    Wife Of A Husband Who Has Chronic Pain...is Anyone Out There Still???

    I am looking for support from other spouses in my situation and this was the only group I could find but it looks like the latest posts on here were from last year :( Is anyone still on here?????????
    PittMom PittMom 31-35, F 72 Responses Dec 25, 2010

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    I have a question for everyone,

    does anyone go to a support group?
    klchipman klchipman 51-55, F 2 Responses May 27

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    Both my spouse and I suffer from some chronic

    pain and depression, although his chronic pain is worse and more systemic. I have lower back issues and arthritis and he has ehlers-danlos syndrome, which severely affects joints and causes stomach issues. We've been married for a year, and I'm starting to worry that we will...
    jabl61514 jabl61514 26-30, T 1 Response Jun 18

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    Missing Somebody You See Every Day

    Anybody who lives with somebody who suffers from chronic pain, understands what its like to miss somebody you see every day. This one is for you: I saw you today, In what seems like such a long time, That moment on waking When you’ve had a chance to forget Or perhaps you...
    Ubderstand1 Ubderstand1 41-45, F 7 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    I would like to start a sort of sex group

    for people that are In a relationship with someone that has disabilities that keeps them from having sex. So we the healthy sex starved half of the relationship have a place to connect with other sex starved people that are not looking to change their current relationship status...
    Lordfiercelove Lordfiercelove 31-35 2 Responses Jul 29

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    Hi everyone! I've been searching

    for a safe place like this for me because I have been feeling so alone lately so I am happy to have finally found it. I am 24 years old and I am the full time caretaker of my partner, Mae, who is 23 and is diagnosed with fibromyalgia, arthritis, and is currently going through...
    allisondorn allisondorn 22-25, F Nov 12, 2014

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    I NEED HELP PLEASE!!!

    my fiancee has been in 10+ pain for five years (and if you start to tell me "how can someone be in that much pain she must be lying" i will track you the **** down and snap your damn neck) and she doesnt have any hope for the future. she doesnt wanna get help, she doesnt wanna...
    kinkystapler kinkystapler 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 19

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    My wife broke her hip is starting to improve be

    getting out and walking down town. I believe because she's lived with blindness for so long it's been another huddle she had to over come. Disabilty know she is back using her guide dog.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 11

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    Do you ever get tired of being the cheerleader?

    Most of the time my husband is a happy go lucky guy, despite his chronic pain, but sometimes he gets in these Debbie downer moods and I feel like I have to play cheerleader . It can truly get tiresome . I know I have my moments and he is here to cheer me up as well, but workings...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 20

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    I just found this site.

    Every story I read sounds like my own. My wife is the love of my life. My everything. The past two years I have seen her go from an amazingly passionate and loving woman...always up for our next big adventure....always craving me and me her...so open....to now...reclusive. Non...
    dempag dempag 46-50, M 3 Responses Jul 20, 2014

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    In Sickness And In Health... Mostly In Sickness.

    This is a first post for me; I ask in advance that you forgive any rambling. I'll also attempt to keep this from degenerating into a meta-post about posting things. My wife and I met and fell in love like a lightning-strike. We've been happily married for 3 years now. When we...
    Psyshade Psyshade 31-35, M 7 Responses Sep 17, 2012

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    Hi! I've been married

    for 16 yrs to a man who has suffered chronic pain for 32yrs of his 44yrs of life. We now have 2 children 8 and almost 5. There are days like today I want to be free. But I try to envisage what I would do and I can't see that as the solution. I place way too much responsibility...
    mariahswind mariahswind 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2014

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    Trying To Keep My Joy While Living With My Husbands Chronic Back Pain

    I know I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure. But sometimes that doesn't comfort me as I buffer what comes with my spouses chronic back pain. He hurt his back over 3 years ago. He is a business owner amongst other endeavors. So he is completely stressed out all the time and has...
    crazyblonde76 crazyblonde76 36-40, F 3 Responses Oct 21, 2013

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    Be strong- that's what everyone says.

    What happens when the person you love is what makes you stronger and now they are told they are experiencing kidney failure on top of all the other health problems . What happens if he gives up and doesn't want to fight anymore, who could blame him he has spent the better part...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 22

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    To Love Or To Numb Out?

    My husband's chronic pain has changed our relationship and although I know this, and have been living with these changes for seven years, I occasionally hold out hope that the bubble he lives in will open and we will have an emotional relationship again. People ask me how he is...
    myforlornheart myforlornheart 56-60, F 8 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    My husband suffers from chronic wide spread

    nerve pain. He has been diagnosed with small fiber neuropathy, fibromyalgia, and myofacial pain syndrome. The best way to describe what he feels 24/7 is that feeling you get when your foot falls asleep and your try to walk on it, the pins and needles pain you get. That's how it...
    overwhelmedandexhausted overwhelmedandexhausted 26-30, F Jul 16, 2014

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    Living In Sin Was Better Than Living As Husband And Wife

    I am the spouse of a chronic pain sufferer. My husband has several herniated discs in the lumbar region as well as other issues due to weight and the pain meds he takes. We've been together for 5 years, married almost one. While he always suffered from back pain, he was more...
    newlywedyetalone newlywedyetalone 36-40 7 Responses May 20, 2013

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    The Guy Of My Dreams Suffers From Chronic Pain.

       I met my husband over six years ago and married him in 2008.  Initially, he desperately tried to make me understand how difficult it might be to love a person who suffers from chronic pain.  I did not care.  My husband had been in a relationship with another woman for...
    hedymorris hedymorris 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    I came across a book

    that I found quite helpful. It is for the chronic pain individual and their spouse. It is called "coping with chronic pain, a team effort!: for you and your partner." You can get it from Amazon. I have read it once and re-read sections as needed when I need more support and...
    5354yyc 5354yyc 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    Trying To Find A Balance...

    My husband and I met 6 years ago, married 2 years ago. We both like the outdoors, planned on going on hikes, hunting together (he was teaching me), and doing lots of other outdoor activities - nothing extreme, just active. His back pain started about 3 years ago, mild, has now...
    basicgirl basicgirl 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 15, 2012

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    This was supposed to be the happiest year of

    our lives. We welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the world 8 months ago and the first two months were amazing. It was then when my husbands back pain began. Since that time, it seems our lives have spiraled out of control. He is in so much pain everyday and all the treatments...
    abo1486 abo1486 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    My Spouse Live With Central Pain-The Holy Grail Of Pain

    Your stories of caring for your spouses resonate with me.. My husband suffers from central pain. There is no cure, it is for the rest of his life. He is already on maximum treatment - nothing that the Doctors can do more for him. It is not terminal- he is not going to die...
    DragonflyJ DragonflyJ 36-40 7 Responses Apr 10, 2013

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    Letting It Out

    I am married to the most amazing man in the universe. He is my favorite person in the whole world and I am so SO very thankful that we were brought together, for he has and does bring me immense happiness. I sometimes get lost in my thoughts about how lucky I am to have my...
    Ifeeltoo Ifeeltoo 36-40 5 Responses Jul 3, 2013

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    I've been on this site now

    for a little while and am trying to create a support group for people who are working to cope with chronic pain in their spouse. This site would help provide more resources and would narrow in on specific topics each day. Definitely not trying to take away from this site at all...
    JustKeepSinging JustKeepSinging 26-30 2 Responses Mar 31, 2014

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    My Spirit And My Best Friend Have Been Ripped Away From Me.

    I have been married to my husband for 10 years this August, and quite honestly this last year has been the worst year of my entire life. Due to a work related injury involving the lumbar region of his back he has been in constant pain since. He used to be my best friend, but I...
    Fallinthestars Fallinthestars 31-35 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    I have been having a particularly hard weekend

    dealing with the loneliness of living with a spouse with chronic pain so I searched the web and found this site. As I read some of these posts, I see that I am not alone in all the feelings I experience daily. My heart breaks for all of you who are going through what I am going...
    hispainismypain hispainismypain 61-65, F 5 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    The Hidden Pain Of Back Pain

    My husband and I have been married for 12 years and in that time he has had three back surgeries and recently had a spinal fusion surgery. In addition to that he has had a number of surgeries for other injuries that he sustained at work but none that impede his everyday life...
    betula betula 46-50 3 Responses Nov 21, 2012

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    Hello and so grateful to know I'm not alone.

    My husband had a hernia surgery about two and a half years ago and was diagnosed with chronic pain last year. The stories on this site resonate deep in my heart, feelings of fear and lack of intimacy, wanting the connection you with your spouse that you know existed once but...
    pressingon314 pressingon314 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 16, 2014

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    Frustration That's how i am summing up my week

    with my husband's chronic degenerative disc in his back. After a pain pump implantation 3 years ago I thought life would would be restored to some sort of normalcy. I guess that run has come to an end. It is so frustrating just when you think things are good , no surgeries for...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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    Hey I just found this site.

    It sounds cliche but I thought I was alone. My man has 5 discs out had surgery and was paralyzed for three months after. We have only been together for two years I love him so much in the beginning he was worried that I would leave him as that's what his first wife did when he...
    Onlythelonelt Onlythelonelt 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 10, 2014

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    Woke Up With His Arm Around Me!! Swoon

    I woke up this morning with my husbands arm around me, what an awesome way to start the day!!! One... that means he must of had a good night. I usally sleep in a tight ball on the edge of the bed, trying my best to stay out of his way as he tosses & turns trying to find a...
    Lessthenhalf Lessthenhalf 56-60, F 1 Response May 25, 2013

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    My Life With A Spouse In Constant Pain

    We got together in 1980. We were married in 84. In 85 my wife had her first fusion in her neck. It really did the trick. She lead a pretty normal life until 2001. The pain returned and she was diagnosed with more colapsed disk in her neck. Another fusion surgery. This one to...
    davesmith0881 davesmith0881 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 15, 2011

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    I'm not sure what to do anymore.

    My husband has two slipped discs and sciatica and I'm slowly losing patience and compassion for him. We have been married for almost 10 years and have two kids together. We currently don't have health insurance and I'm having a killer time finding/getting enrolled in something...
    freckledlady freckledlady 31-35, F 5 Responses Jan 24

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    can someone offer me tips on how to emotionally

    support my fiancee who is greatly depressed, and a large part (but not all) is about her pain? she has ehlers downlos (im a bad speller sorry!) and scoliosis and has had pain for 5-6 years now....she got off narcotics in december after being on them the entire time and although...
    kinkystapler kinkystapler 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 15

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    My husband has suffered with chronic pain

    for 6 years. He had a fusion thinking it was the root cause of his pain but it didn't help. He has tried every treatment under the moon and nothing works but pain meds. I'm concerned about it because he is only 36. We are going to a specialist in Dallas this week for another...
    gauls gauls 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 29

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    My husband of 13 yrs has been living with

    chronic pain (testicular) for over 4 years now. The cause is due to a nerve disease. He's always been hilarious, the life of the party, etc. This illness has changed him in so many ways and while he fights to still be that guy, the pain has taken it's toll and we've had to...
    watershed watershed 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    My disabled husband is getting a power chair

    next week. We're trying to get a ramp built so he can go outside. My cousin was supposed to come over today and build it. Instead he was passed out drunk on his couch. How much can one person take?? I'm at my wits end. The dr also has my husband on OxyContin and hydrocodone...
    kmgg kmgg 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    25 years ago my husband had sinus surgery

    that damaged the nerve. He later had a rhizotomy which assured him the nerve would be destroyed with facial numbness. He decided he could live with numbness instead of throbbing tooth pain. Well, ended up with dreaded anesthesia dolorosa and injured ganglion so has chronic...
    skcullers skcullers 61-65, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

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    The Love Of My Life Has A Neck Injury

    This site is an answer to prayer.....Thank You Lord! My husband and I have been married for 29 yrs this Feb. He was injured at work over 15 yrs ago. His injury gradually worsened, subtley. About 7 yrs ago, I began to express to him how I needed more attention. Well, I didn't...
    GailMarieCan GailMarieCan 46-50, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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