I Live With a Spouse That Suffers From Chronic Pain

Support for spouses of people with chronic pain 424 People

    I'm the spouse with chronic pain.

    he has it too but not as severe as mine and our daughter does too. it's really hard and I feel useless. he doesn't make me feel that way. he's a wonderful husband but I feel useless anyway.
    crazybipolarchick crazybipolarchick
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jul 30, 2015

    I just found this site.

    Every story I read sounds like my own. My wife is the love of my life. My everything. The past two years I have seen her go from an amazingly passionate and loving woman...always up for our next big adventure....always craving me and me her...so open....to now...reclusive. Non...
    dempag dempag
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Jul 20, 2014

    My Life With A Spouse In Constant Pain

    We got together in 1980. We were married in 84. In 85 my wife had her first fusion in her neck. It really did the trick. She lead a pretty normal life until 2001. The pain returned and she was diagnosed with more colapsed disk in her neck. Another fusion surgery. This one to...
    davesmith0881 davesmith0881
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jun 15, 2011

    My Spirit And My Best Friend Have Been Ripped Away From Me.

    I have been married to my husband for 10 years this August, and quite honestly this last year has been the worst year of my entire life. Due to a work related injury involving the lumbar region of his back he has been in constant pain since. He used to be my best friend, but I...
    Fallinthestars Fallinthestars
    3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

    Lonesome Guilt

    Its so easy to lose ones self in their significant others pain, the first few years are easy and fun then the onset of a chronic pain issue forces the honeymoon phase to end, My partner and I have been together for 5 years now, the first year was a dream come true, he was...
    nospoon4neo nospoon4neo
    6 Responses Mar 17, 2013

    To Love Or To Numb Out?

    My husband's chronic pain has changed our relationship and although I know this, and have been living with these changes for seven years, I occasionally hold out hope that the bubble he lives in will open and we will have an emotional relationship again. People ask me how he is...
    myforlornheart myforlornheart
    56-60, F
    8 Responses Jan 12, 2013

    I've been looking for a group like this

    for a while. My wife suffers from chronic pain due to Chari Malformation and other issues in her back and neck. Chronic pain has been a part of our life for about 10 years now. She often says that she feels bad that our life has taken this turn. If you are in this group you...
    scummins1964 scummins1964
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Feb 8

    Living With A Chronic Pain Sufferer, Not Easy

    My husband and I have been married going on 15 years. We have two children, 12 & 3. He broke his back when he was younger playing football. He had his first spinal fusion in 2003. It was successful for the first two years then went down hill after that. He had the hardware...
    Soonerfan11 Soonerfan11
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Sep 8, 2013

    I have been having a particularly hard weekend

    dealing with the loneliness of living with a spouse with chronic pain so I searched the web and found this site. As I read some of these posts, I see that I am not alone in all the feelings I experience daily. My heart breaks for all of you who are going through what I am going...
    hispainismypain hispainismypain
    61-65, F
    6 Responses Jul 12, 2014

    Frustration That's how i am summing up my week

    with my husband's chronic degenerative disc in his back. After a pain pump implantation 3 years ago I thought life would would be restored to some sort of normalcy. I guess that run has come to an end. It is so frustrating just when you think things are good , no surgeries for...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Apr 10, 2015

    My husband and I have been married almost three

    years, it is a second marriage for both of us. He came into the marriage with three boys and I have three girls, yes we are the brady bunch. We have five kids at home now. The boys mother lives in another state and does almost nothing for them so I am pretty much there mother...
    halfapeson halfapeson
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 20, 2015

    My husband has suffered with chronic pain

    for 6 years. He had a fusion thinking it was the root cause of his pain but it didn't help. He has tried every treatment under the moon and nothing works but pain meds. I'm concerned about it because he is only 36. We are going to a specialist in Dallas this week for another...
    gauls gauls
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Mar 29, 2015

    I am the wife of a husband

    who has chronic pain. He has not been diagnosed yet because the last doc he went to is recommending him to another specialist for a second opinion. He is at his wit's end and is very angry. I don't feel like I should be complaining because he's the one with the pain.
    MrsofMrPain MrsofMrPain
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Nov 13, 2015

    I would like to start a sort of sex group

    for people that are In a relationship with someone that has disabilities that keeps them from having sex. So we the healthy sex starved half of the relationship have a place to connect with other sex starved people that are not looking to change their current relationship status...
    Lordfiercelove Lordfiercelove
    7 Responses Jul 29, 2015

    My husband has chronic pain 24/7 365

    for the last 3 years. He had an unsuccessful back surgery 2 years ago. Before I found this website I though we were the only ones going through this. Thank you so much for sharing your stories.
    rudineb rudineb
    56-60, F
    1 Response Feb 18

    I came across a book

    that I found quite helpful. It is for the chronic pain individual and their spouse. It is called "coping with chronic pain, a team effort!: for you and your partner." You can get it from Amazon. I have read it once and re-read sections as needed when I need more support and...
    5354yyc 5354yyc
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 9, 2015

    What to say... I (25yrs) have been living with

    my partner (25) for a year. 14 months prior he had a accident and injured his back. The accident basically caused my partner to be disabled. He had to quit his job and hobbies due to being able to not walk or stand for very long. He's on a cocktail of pain meds which can make...
    Murphyj741 Murphyj741
    4 Responses Jan 4

    My disabled husband is getting a power chair

    next week. We're trying to get a ramp built so he can go outside. My cousin was supposed to come over today and build it. Instead he was passed out drunk on his couch. How much can one person take?? I'm at my wits end. The dr also has my husband on OxyContin and hydrocodone...
    kmgg kmgg
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Feb 22, 2015

    Living In Sin Was Better Than Living As Husband And Wife

    I am the spouse of a chronic pain sufferer. My husband has several herniated discs in the lumbar region as well as other issues due to weight and the pain meds he takes. We've been together for 5 years, married almost one. While he always suffered from back pain, he was more...
    newlywedyetalone newlywedyetalone
    7 Responses May 20, 2013

    can someone offer me tips on how to emotionally

    support my fiancee who is greatly depressed, and a large part (but not all) is about her pain? she has ehlers downlos (im a bad speller sorry!) and scoliosis and has had pain for 5-6 years now....she got off narcotics in december after being on them the entire time and although...
    kinkystapler kinkystapler
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 15, 2015

    The Love Of My Life Has A Neck Injury

    This site is an answer to prayer.....Thank You Lord! My husband and I have been married for 29 yrs this Feb. He was injured at work over 15 yrs ago. His injury gradually worsened, subtley. About 7 yrs ago, I began to express to him how I needed more attention. Well, I didn't...
    GailMarieCan GailMarieCan
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Jan 8, 2012
    cashetty69 cashetty69
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Sep 4, 2015

    Trying To Keep My Joy While Living With My Husbands Chronic Back Pain

    I know I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure. But sometimes that doesn't comfort me as I buffer what comes with my spouses chronic back pain. He hurt his back over 3 years ago. He is a business owner amongst other endeavors. So he is completely stressed out all the time and has...
    crazyblonde76 crazyblonde76
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Oct 21, 2013

    Hello. This is my very first post here.

    Not sure where to begin as there is so much history so I'm going to be as brief as I can. First off I love my wife. She is my best friend. We've shared so many adventures together in our ten year marraige I can hardly believe all the places we've lived and all the things we've...
    Flytolive01 Flytolive01
    51-55, M
    3 Responses Feb 29

    I'm not sure what to do anymore.

    My husband has two slipped discs and sciatica and I'm slowly losing patience and compassion for him. We have been married for almost 10 years and have two kids together. We currently don't have health insurance and I'm having a killer time finding/getting enrolled in something...
    freckledlady freckledlady
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Jan 24, 2015

    Wife Of A Husband Who Has Chronic Pain...is Anyone Out There Still???

    I am looking for support from other spouses in my situation and this was the only group I could find but it looks like the latest posts on here were from last year :( Is anyone still on here?????????
    PittMom PittMom
    31-35, F
    73 Responses Dec 25, 2010

    What Is This Pain That I Cannot See????????????//

    I am 17 years into a second marriage, my husband is 11 years older than myself. One year after we were married he took a disability retirement in his forties rather than moving across country with his job. His disability at that time was injuries resulting from combat in vietnam...
    dreamingofbetterlife dreamingofbetterlife
    3 Responses Aug 4, 2011

    My husband lives in chronic pain

    and has low immunity, so even when he's not in severe pain, he's sick in some way or another. He has nerve pain in his neck that causes severe migraines--daily. He pushes through to make it to and through work, which I'm blown away by. I don't know how he does it, and I could...
    ripple522 ripple522
    31-35, F
    Sep 12, 2015

    The Guy Of My Dreams Suffers From Chronic Pain.

       I met my husband over six years ago and married him in 2008.  Initially, he desperately tried to make me understand how difficult it might be to love a person who suffers from chronic pain.  I did not care.  My husband had been in a relationship with another woman for...
    hedymorris hedymorris
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Dec 3, 2013

    It All Changed

    I lost my husband to chronic pain. Pain is the third entity in our marriage. I think of her as his mistress. Pain (as I have appropriately named her) decides what we do and when. She took over our sex life and doesn't share. She allows him to work, but brings him home exhausted...
    myforlornheart myforlornheart
    56-60, F
    21 Responses Nov 11, 2012

    Letting It Out

    I am married to the most amazing man in the universe. He is my favorite person in the whole world and I am so SO very thankful that we were brought together, for he has and does bring me immense happiness. I sometimes get lost in my thoughts about how lucky I am to have my...
    Ifeeltoo Ifeeltoo
    5 Responses Jul 3, 2013

    my husband tells me that I don't understand it,

    I "don't get it"...everything he has to go through....but I do. I do get it, because although I don't endure physical pain I endure the heartache it costs to be married to someone with chronic pain. and the people I let in and share my life with...i think in my head....you don't...
    jennymmay jennymmay
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Feb 5

    Missing Somebody You See Every Day

    Anybody who lives with somebody who suffers from chronic pain, understands what its like to miss somebody you see every day. This one is for you: I saw you today, In what seems like such a long time, That moment on waking When you’ve had a chance to forget Or perhaps you...
    Ubderstand1 Ubderstand1
    41-45, F
    8 Responses Dec 27, 2012

    My Spouse Live With Central Pain-The Holy Grail Of Pain

    Your stories of caring for your spouses resonate with me.. My husband suffers from central pain. There is no cure, it is for the rest of his life. He is already on maximum treatment - nothing that the Doctors can do more for him. It is not terminal- he is not going to die...
    DragonflyJ DragonflyJ
    7 Responses Apr 10, 2013

    Woke Up With His Arm Around Me!! Swoon

    I woke up this morning with my husbands arm around me, what an awesome way to start the day!!! One... that means he must of had a good night. I usally sleep in a tight ball on the edge of the bed, trying my best to stay out of his way as he tosses & turns trying to find a...
    Lessthenhalf Lessthenhalf
    56-60, F
    1 Response May 25, 2013

    This was supposed to be the happiest year of

    our lives. We welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the world 8 months ago and the first two months were amazing. It was then when my husbands back pain began. Since that time, it seems our lives have spiraled out of control. He is in so much pain everyday and all the treatments...
    abo1486 abo1486
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2014

    After a day in the ER.

    I lay in bed with 10 million thoughts running through my head. How can I be mad or frustrated and show my emotions when I know it will only hurt his feelings. He didn't choose to have life treat him this way. If he could pick a different life he would make it normal and be...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether
    36-40, F
    4 Responses May 6, 2015

    Be strong- that's what everyone says.

    What happens when the person you love is what makes you stronger and now they are told they are experiencing kidney failure on top of all the other health problems . What happens if he gives up and doesn't want to fight anymore, who could blame him he has spent the better part...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jun 22, 2015

    This is all new to me

    and I don't know how to deal with the loss of pure happiness and bliss which has transitioned to pain. It feels like I'm grieving. experiencing the loss of what was and what will never be again.
    ErinGracee ErinGracee
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 28

    My husband of 13 yrs has been living with

    chronic pain (testicular) for over 4 years now. The cause is due to a nerve disease. He's always been hilarious, the life of the party, etc. This illness has changed him in so many ways and while he fights to still be that guy, the pain has taken it's toll and we've had to...
    watershed watershed
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Nov 26, 2014

    Both my spouse and I suffer from some chronic

    pain and depression, although his chronic pain is worse and more systemic. I have lower back issues and arthritis and he has ehlers-danlos syndrome, which severely affects joints and causes stomach issues. We've been married for a year, and I'm starting to worry that we will...
    jabl61514 jabl61514
    26-30, T
    1 Response Jun 18, 2015

    My wife broke her hip is starting to improve be

    getting out and walking down town. I believe because she's lived with blindness for so long it's been another huddle she had to over come. Disabilty know she is back using her guide dog.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Apr 11, 2015

    I think a lot about how much better my life

    would be if/when my fiancé would commit suicide. She suffers from CRPS which causes her to feel burning pain 24/7 and after 2 years, the number of treatment options has almost run out. I love her and these thoughts make me feel horrible. I have almost nobody I can tell these...
    WishThingsWereBetter WishThingsWereBetter
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Apr 19, 2014

    Do you ever get tired of being the cheerleader?

    Most of the time my husband is a happy go lucky guy, despite his chronic pain, but sometimes he gets in these Debbie downer moods and I feel like I have to play cheerleader . It can truly get tiresome . I know I have my moments and he is here to cheer me up as well, but workings...
    lovewillkeepus2gether lovewillkeepus2gether
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Jan 20, 2015

    I Happen To Be The Spouse In Chronic Pain, No One Ever Told US About The Emotional And Psychological Changes...

    I googled what amounted to the title of this group. I'm 47, and I've had chronic back pain for over a decade. 5 herniated thoracic discs, along with lumbar that are close behind had made my life a nightmare. However, in the last few years I have been actively looking for...
    AlsGal AlsGal
    51-55, F
    4 Responses May 13, 2013

    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    carlyccaa carlyccaa
    26-30, F
    1 Response Oct 19, 2015

    My husband has pain 247 365.

    Some days are better than others. Some moments are better than others. What do I say to my family, friends and coworkers when they ask "how is your husband doing?"
    rudineb rudineb
    56-60, F
    5 Responses Feb 23

    The Hidden Pain Of Back Pain

    My husband and I have been married for 12 years and in that time he has had three back surgeries and recently had a spinal fusion surgery. In addition to that he has had a number of surgeries for other injuries that he sustained at work but none that impede his everyday life...
    betula betula
    3 Responses Nov 21, 2012


    my fiancee has been in 10+ pain for five years (and if you start to tell me "how can someone be in that much pain she must be lying" i will track you the **** down and snap your damn neck) and she doesnt have any hope for the future. she doesnt wanna get help, she doesnt wanna...
    kinkystapler kinkystapler
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 19, 2015

    I have a question for everyone,

    does anyone go to a support group?
    klchipman klchipman
    51-55, F
    2 Responses May 27, 2015

    Trying To Find A Balance...

    My husband and I met 6 years ago, married 2 years ago. We both like the outdoors, planned on going on hikes, hunting together (he was teaching me), and doing lots of other outdoor activities - nothing extreme, just active. His back pain started about 3 years ago, mild, has now...
    basicgirl basicgirl
    46-50, F
    Sep 15, 2012

    Rough weekend so far.

    Screamed at me to tell me he wasn't screaming at me and that I would know when he was. Hmmm. We are at the pint of talking about separating. Pain is no excuse to be mean. We've been together 15 years and I love him with all my heart. 😞
    juliep17 juliep17
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jan 31, 2015

    In Sickness And In Health... Mostly In Sickness.

    This is a first post for me; I ask in advance that you forgive any rambling. I'll also attempt to keep this from degenerating into a meta-post about posting things. My wife and I met and fell in love like a lightning-strike. We've been happily married for 3 years now. When we...
    Psyshade Psyshade
    31-35, M
    7 Responses Sep 17, 2012

    My husband lives with chronic pain.

    He has had 8 surgeries in the past 6 years and it just gets worse. Im now his caregiver, I also work part time and am a mother of 3. Its hard. I love him so much but its very trying at times.
    drestarmom drestarmom
    36-40, F
    1 Response Oct 18, 2015

    I just want to say thank you

    for everyone who is posting their experiences on this website. Until today I thought I was alone. My husband who is a truck driver has gone through a back and neck fusion in 4 years due to workmen comp injury. I haven't work due to driving him to pt therapy and doctor appts...
    klchipman klchipman
    51-55, F
    May 23, 2015
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