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I Live With a Spouse That Suffers From Chronic Pain

Support for spouses of people with chronic pain 268 People

    Missing Somebody You See Every Day

    Anybody who lives with somebody who suffers from chronic pain, understands what its like to miss somebody you see every day. This one is for you: I saw you today, In what seems like such a long time, That moment on waking When you’ve had a chance to forget Or perhaps you...
    Ubderstand1 Ubderstand1 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    The Love Of My Life Has A Neck Injury

    This site is an answer to prayer.....Thank You Lord! My husband and I have been married for 29 yrs this Feb. He was injured at work over 15 yrs ago. His injury gradually worsened, subtley. About 7 yrs ago, I began to express to him how I needed more attention. Well, I didn't...
    GailMarieCan GailMarieCan 46-50, F 6 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    Actually we both suffer chronic pain.

    you might think this would bring us together or we would understand each other. But he says i discount his pain as though it is nothing. I know his pain is not nothing, that to him it may cost him everything today. I know because it is the same with me. but knowing does not mean...
    zionpegasus zionpegasus 41-45 Mar 17

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    I have been married to a beautiful man

    for almost 19yrs and I've been married to him and his pain for about 14yrs. He is a true blessing to me and our four children, but his pain has continually gotten worse. He has had numerous back surgeries, injections and now has a dorsal stimulator. His is on some heavy duty...
    smbb smbb 31-35 1 Response Feb 12

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    30 Years of living with my husband and his chronic pain

    I dearly love my husband. We will be celebrating 30 years of marriage. Yes, we have had our bumps in the road, but most have made us even stronger. Soon after are honeymoon, we both came down with a bad virus, experiencing our first migrains. Fortunatly, for me it was my only...
    Kreger Kreger 51-55, F 2 Responses Apr 25, 2013

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    My Daughter Has Boyfriend (he's 44;she's 40) Who Has Chronic Pain B/c Of Ehlers Danlos

    I am the mother of a daughter whose wonderful, patient, caring, boyfriend has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. She said "Mom, you always find the best stuff on the internet - can you find something for us"? We looked and looked and can find nothing! And so that is why I am writing...
    yentakaren yentakaren 66-70 2 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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    It All Changed

    I lost my husband to chronic pain. Pain is the third entity in our marriage. I think of her as his mistress. Pain (as I have appropriately named her) decides what we do and when. She took over our sex life and doesn't share. She allows him to work, but brings him home exhausted...
    myforlornheart myforlornheart 56-60, F 18 Responses Nov 11, 2012

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    Living With A Chronic Pain Sufferer, Not Easy

    My husband and I have been married going on 15 years. We have two children, 12 & 3. He broke his back when he was younger playing football. He had his first spinal fusion in 2003. It was successful for the first two years then went down hill after that. He had the hardware...
    Soonerfan11 Soonerfan11 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    My Spirit And My Best Friend Have Been Ripped Away From Me.

    I have been married to my husband for 10 years this August, and quite honestly this last year has been the worst year of my entire life. Due to a work related injury involving the lumbar region of his back he has been in constant pain since. He used to be my best friend, but I...
    Fallinthestars Fallinthestars 31-35 3 Responses Jun 23, 2013

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    25 years ago my husband had sinus surgery

    that damaged the nerve. He later had a rhizotomy which assured him the nerve would be destroyed with facial numbness. He decided he could live with numbness instead of throbbing tooth pain. Well, ended up with dreaded anesthesia dolorosa and injured ganglion so has chronic...
    skcullers skcullers 61-65, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2013

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    At A Crossroads

    I've been with my husband for 7years, married for 2.5 & we have a 20m/o son. My husband started getting back pain a year into our relationship and it has slowly but steadily gotten worse over the years. He's been diagnosed with fibromyalgia & sarcoidosis and most recently stomach...
    LucyLind LucyLind 31-35 1 Response Oct 17, 2013

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    Husband Of A Wife With Chronic Pain

    My wife was injured in December 2010 when a distracted motorist struck her as a pedestrian while she was crossing the entrance of the parking garage at her place of work.  A later MRI revealed that she has a compression wedge fracture in the T11 and a dessicated disc in the L5...
    mdt38 mdt38 36-40, M 6 Responses Sep 3, 2011

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    Letting It Out

    I am married to the most amazing man in the universe. He is my favorite person in the whole world and I am so SO very thankful that we were brought together, for he has and does bring me immense happiness. I sometimes get lost in my thoughts about how lucky I am to have my...
    Ifeeltoo Ifeeltoo 31-35 5 Responses Jul 3, 2013

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    I Live With A Husband That Is Always Depressed...and Has Chronic Pain.

    It has been 15 years and every time I think that  things will change they just get worse ,I feel I am living with a stranger,I dont know where all the love went?
    cannotbreathe cannotbreathe 36-40, F 4 Responses Oct 26, 2011

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    Hi, I'm Mel. I am not married,

    but my boyfriend of nearly a year suffers from chronic pain. He ruptured a disk in his lower lumbar region 14 years ago, had many surgeries on it, and was one of the first in this country to go through disk replacement. He suffered a great deal of nerve damage when his disk...
    docnukentatz docnukentatz 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 17

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    Left with Much Much Less Then Half.

    My husband has been seriously ill for 20 of our 30 + years of marriage. Mostly related to kidney disease. During the past 6 years he has dealt increasingly with chronic backpain. One surgery 5 yrs ago and two within one month in 2012. The last surgery left him paralzed from the...
    Lessthenhalf Lessthenhalf 51-55, F 2 Responses May 24, 2013

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    Hi, thank you for this site.

    I feel like I need to vent a bit. I live with my g/f of 12 years we have lived together for 11 of those. She has lupus, which a lot of you will probably know comes along with chronic pain and random loss of mobility, as well as other symptoms. Anyway, I love her, but I'm not...
    Griever38 Griever38 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    Wife Of A Husband Who Has Chronic Pain...is Anyone Out There Still???

    I am looking for support from other spouses in my situation and this was the only group I could find but it looks like the latest posts on here were from last year :( Is anyone still on here?????????
    PittMom PittMom 31-35, F 58 Responses Dec 25, 2010

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    My Wife Still Has A Wonderful Spirit.

    My Wife has had chronic back and neck pain for 7 years. It started in 06 with a car accident that left her with ruptured discs and small bone fragments in her spine. After countless trips to doctors and hospitals she lives with constant pain. Her morning starts by trying to...
    Faron451 Faron451 46-50, M 2 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    To Love Or To Numb Out?

    My husband's chronic pain has changed our relationship and although I know this, and have been living with these changes for seven years, I occasionally hold out hope that the bubble he lives in will open and we will have an emotional relationship again. People ask me how he is...
    myforlornheart myforlornheart 56-60, F 7 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    My Husband, Trigeminal Neuralgia, And Oh Yeah, Me.

    My husband has had a constant headache for 2 1/2 years. Ive read some of ur stories, ppl dealing with this for 5, 10 and even more years and i am amazed. So proud of all of u tht have found strength to continue living through this. I cant even begin to imagine being him, in the...
    Kijosp Kijosp 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 21, 2013

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    My Life With A Spouse In Constant Pain

    We got together in 1980. We were married in 84. In 85 my wife had her first fusion in her neck. It really did the trick. She lead a pretty normal life until 2001. The pain returned and she was diagnosed with more colapsed disk in her neck. Another fusion surgery. This one to...
    davesmith0881 davesmith0881 51-55, M 3 Responses Jun 15, 2011

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    My husband had a back injury at work 18 months

    ago. He had pain treatment that lasted 12 months & now that has worn off & he has it done again but this time it was not sucessful on his left side so they have to redo it. But he is waiting until his company okays the proceedure but that is taking forever because of some...
    vegas170712 vegas170712 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    In Sickness And In Health... Mostly In Sickness.

    This is a first post for me; I ask in advance that you forgive any rambling. I'll also attempt to keep this from degenerating into a meta-post about posting things. My wife and I met and fell in love like a lightning-strike. We've been happily married for 3 years now. When we...
    Psyshade Psyshade 31-35, M 6 Responses Sep 17, 2012

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    My Spouse Live With Central Pain-The Holy Grail Of Pain

    Your stories of caring for your spouses resonate with me.. My husband suffers from central pain. There is no cure, it is for the rest of his life. He is already on maximum treatment - nothing that the Doctors can do more for him. It is not terminal- he is not going to die...
    DragonflyJ DragonflyJ 36-40 3 Responses Apr 10, 2013

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    Lonesome Guilt

    Its so easy to lose ones self in their significant others pain, the first few years are easy and fun then the onset of a chronic pain issue forces the honeymoon phase to end, My partner and I have been together for 5 years now, the first year was a dream come true, he was...
    nospoon4neo nospoon4neo 26-30 6 Responses Mar 17, 2013

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    Spinal Damage

    My wife has had operations on her spine, both lower and neck.This has left her with a "scaffold" supporting the lower back vertabrae and removal of bone in the neck pressing on the spinal column.She is in constant pain and has to take pethadin which is a class "A" drug for the...
    alwaysawanderer alwaysawanderer 66-70, M 2 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    Trying To Keep My Joy While Living With My Husbands Chronic Back Pain

    I know I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure. But sometimes that doesn't comfort me as I buffer what comes with my spouses chronic back pain. He hurt his back over 3 years ago. He is a business owner amongst other endeavors. So he is completely stressed out all the time and has...
    crazyblonde76 crazyblonde76 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 21, 2013

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    I've been on this site now

    for a little while and am trying to create a support group for people who are working to cope with chronic pain in their spouse. This site would help provide more resources and would narrow in on specific topics each day. Definitely not trying to take away from this site at all...
    JustKeepSinging JustKeepSinging 26-30 Mar 31

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    I Happen To Be The Spouse In Chronic Pain, No One Ever Told US About The Emotional And Psychological Changes...

    I googled what amounted to the title of this group. I'm 47, and I've had chronic back pain for over a decade. 5 herniated thoracic discs, along with lumbar that are close behind had made my life a nightmare. However, in the last few years I have been actively looking for...
    AlsGal AlsGal 46-50, F 3 Responses May 13, 2013

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    Everyone Experiences Pain Differently

    I have chronic pain, but have been able to manage it as a part of my life. Five years ago, I was in bad shape and thought I would never walk again, but with the help of doctors, family, and my doting husband, I was able to progress and am at a not pain-free, but more stable point...
    Beenthere78 Beenthere78 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    When Is Enough, Enough?

    My spouse has suffered from severe chronic back pain for the last 3 years of our 7 year marriage.  Recently it's gotten so bad that he has begun to take it out on me.  I try to support him, I rarely (I'm not perfect!) complain about him not being able to help out with...
    Mimi80 Mimi80 26-30, F 13 Responses Sep 20, 2009

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    What Is This Pain That I Cannot See????????????//

    I am 17 years into a second marriage, my husband is 11 years older than myself. One year after we were married he took a disability retirement in his forties rather than moving across country with his job. His disability at that time was injuries resulting from combat in vietnam...
    dreamingofbetterlife dreamingofbetterlife 46-50 2 Responses Aug 4, 2011

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    Partner Has Chronic Pain I Just Can'T Deal With His Pain Anymore Help Please.

    I have been with my partner for 22 years I am 54 and he is 49 he has had back pain most of his life but in the last 4 years it has worsened he has had surgery but says the pain is no better and thinks the surgeon had done something wrong as the surgeon cant work out why he is...
    wanderinggypsy1 wanderinggypsy1 51-55, F 5 Responses May 2, 2013

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    Living With The Sights And Sounds Of Chronic Pain

    My wife is my high school sweetheart. She was a cheerleader and a straight A student. When we started dating she was 15 and I was 16. That was about 35 years ago. We've been married for 26 years. Her chronic pain has been present for the last 20 years in the form of...
    mostmaker mostmaker 46-50 1 Response Jun 28, 2013

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    Red

    For the last 5 years my husband has suffered from chronic pain from neck surgeries, bulging discs and arthritis pain.  He currently takes morphine twice a day, among other medicines.  He spends most of the day in bed.  He is able to be up for only a couple...
    wildtky2 wildtky2 41-45 5 Responses Nov 14, 2010

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    I think a lot about how much better my life

    would be if/when my fiancé would commit suicide. She suffers from CRPS which causes her to feel burning pain 24/7 and after 2 years, the number of treatment options has almost run out. I love her and these thoughts make me feel horrible. I have almost nobody I can tell these...
    WishThingsWereBetter WishThingsWereBetter 31-35, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Hidden Pain Of Back Pain

    My husband and I have been married for 12 years and in that time he has had three back surgeries and recently had a spinal fusion surgery. In addition to that he has had a number of surgeries for other injuries that he sustained at work but none that impede his everyday life...
    betula betula 46-50 4 Responses Nov 21, 2012

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    Chronic Pain Wife

    Hello I havent read all of the other posts yet but I will. I am all alone in my journey with my husband and his chronic back paid. I have no one to talk to as everyone seems to have a perfect life and I am too jealous and sad to share with them. I have two young babies and a...
    Violet2522 Violet2522 36-40, F 9 Responses Jun 3, 2013

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    I'm Losing My Partner To Pain

    We've been together 20 years now. The pain wasn't so bad in the beginning but it's horrible now. The thing is... she spends a LOT of time in bed and, while she's there, she tends to moan in pain when she turns over. That's my cue to go upstairs and tell her I am sorry she's in...
    helpforus helpforus 61-65 1 Response Dec 12, 2011

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    Living In Sin Was Better Than Living As Husband And Wife

    I am the spouse of a chronic pain sufferer. My husband has several herniated discs in the lumbar region as well as other issues due to weight and the pain meds he takes. We've been together for 5 years, married almost one. While he always suffered from back pain, he was more...
    newlywedyetalone newlywedyetalone 36-40 7 Responses May 20, 2013

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    This Is Not Where I Imagined Myself

    My husband's problems began when he was about 35. He was into health, running 5Ks, and the best shape of his life. It started with his feet. We believed it was Plantar Fascitis (SP), and treated it as such for almost a year. During that year, he started to have more back...
    mom2girls74 mom2girls74 36-40, F 9 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    Hi, I am grateful to be able to vent all this

    with this group because I really feel that the people around me just can't listen to this anymore. My husband suffers from chronic pain. We have been married for 5 years. When we got married he had some pain issues but nothing compared to what is happening now. He has...
    HurtHeart2 HurtHeart2 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    Frustrated and Feeling Guilty

    I have been married for 15 years and 10 of those years my husband has been suffering with chronic pain. The chronic pain comes from a spinal birth defect, so he has had a number of surgeries to help, but none have taken the pain away completely. So that is the basic background...
    lonelygirrl lonelygirrl 41-45 8 Responses Dec 20, 2008

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    Trying To Find A Balance...

    My husband and I met 6 years ago, married 2 years ago. We both like the outdoors, planned on going on hikes, hunting together (he was teaching me), and doing lots of other outdoor activities - nothing extreme, just active. His back pain started about 3 years ago, mild, has now...
    basicgirl basicgirl 46-50, F Sep 15, 2012

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    Will It Ever Get Better?

    My husband has had chronic pain for years(all the years we have been married which is seven) from neuropathy. But the latest injury is a broken ankle which happened in december of last year. It was a really bad break then it got infected, now he is on antibiotics, he should be...
    jraffer jraffer 41-45 1 Response Jun 2, 2013

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    Thankful For Others On This Page Who Understand

    Being married to someone with chronic pain is hard to explain to someone who has not been through it. So I am so thankful for all of you who have posted on this topic. It helps me know that the frustration, guilt, and isolation I feel is not abnormal. I have been married for...
    TracyAnnM TracyAnnM 41-45, F 5 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    The Guy Of My Dreams Suffers From Chronic Pain.

       I met my husband over six years ago and married him in 2008.  Initially, he desperately tried to make me understand how difficult it might be to love a person who suffers from chronic pain.  I did not care.  My husband had been in a relationship with another woman for...
    hedymorris hedymorris 46-50, F 3 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    Woke Up With His Arm Around Me!! Swoon

    I woke up this morning with my husbands arm around me, what an awesome way to start the day!!! One... that means he must of had a good night. I usally sleep in a tight ball on the edge of the bed, trying my best to stay out of his way as he tosses & turns trying to find a...
    Lessthenhalf Lessthenhalf 51-55, F 1 Response May 25, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Well today was yet another appointment for my husband at the urologist. Nothing they can do for him not even surgery will help. He has been put on endless medications and now...
    saltyorsweet saltyorsweet 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was diagnosed with DDD in 2004. They also found a bulging cervical disk. I was told that I needed a fusion from C3 to C5. I had that done in December of 2004. A month into...
    ChicagoSparky ChicagoSparky 51-55, M 1 Response Mar 22

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    I've been sick and I've been tired Of faking all my smiles Seems as though its come to this It feels all like a lie Every time I look within There's chaos no respite All the walls...
    Eli678 Eli678 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have been in chronic, constant pain for over 15 years now. I have seen a multitude of doctors, had several surgeries, many exploratory and even a spinal fusion of my L4-L5 disc...
    Mahala71 Mahala71 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    I was diagnosed last year with a chronic pain condition that formed from me passing 4-8 kidney stones a year. Since I keep passing the stones I will always be in agony and when I...
    dirkablaze dirkablaze 26-30, M Mar 30

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    My battle with chronic pain goes back 18 years to my first attack of acute hemorrhaging pancreatitis - a disease caused in my case by gall stones that blocked my pancreatic duct...
    ericgaudion ericgaudion 61-65, M 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Chronic pain is like having your own personal vampire that sucks the life blood from you. You can do things you enjoy but will pay the price of awful pain later or the next day...
    micmer micmer 36-40, M 2 Responses 2 days ago