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I Live With Unbearable Shame

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 51 People

    This Is Hard To Talk About But ... The Shame Is Killing Me

    I live in deep shame for my childhood and all the sexual abuse-I went thru in silence -  that went on, and not one soul cared about me! I feel such deep guilt for the most minor of things that others would not even worry about. I feel shame and guilt over the way I let my great...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 8 Responses Apr 15, 2011

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    At My Lifestyle...

    And also because of things that I have done wrong in my life. I know, I know, guilt is a wasted emotion but sometimes there are words I just want to say and I can't or I feel I can't and it burns a hole in my stomach and crushes me. I hate knowing that I wasn't there for someone...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F Jun 19, 2011

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    I've Lived With...

    I grew up with an unbearable sense of shame about myself. More like gave birth to it, nurtured it, and let it become the suffocating monster that strangles me odd hours of the day. A simple walk to school is like the march of the dead. Imagine being 17 years old and having a...
    Konrad Konrad 22-25, M 8 Responses Mar 30, 2009

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    Everyone Say's It's Nothing, But I Don't Believe It

    I was born missing a finger on my right hand. It has made me quiet and withdrawn much of the time and I battle depression most of the time. Everybody says I make too much of it. But I can't let it go! And the doctor who delivered me cut a nerve in my face which makes me talk...
    LonelyGemini LonelyGemini 41-45 3 Responses Feb 20, 2010

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    I Don't Know Why...

    I don't know when it began, but I've always felt like the things I do are wrong.  Everything!  I feel...Dirty?  Stupid?  Disgusting?  Undeserving of all things good... I am ashamed of everything I do, I think, I feel, I am.
    moonlit1 moonlit1 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 28, 2009

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    Shame At The Job

    I am a young woman from Latin America living and working in Sweden. Last Thursday I had a two days trip with my job, where all the people from different locations had a meeting and a Christmas party afterwards. We have drank a lot during the dinner and after eating I went to get...
    petala petala 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 19, 2011

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    God Damn It.

    I'm beyond that sick, soothing emotional balm thinking about suicide can bring. I am starting to push beyond that into the realm of planning. My reasons aren't situational. I have the perfect life- I have a fiance who loves me, and I love him. He is my true love, my only...
    Konrad Konrad 22-25, M 7 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Time to Be Honest.

    I feel mentally ill. I'm thinking about cutting down on the time I spend here, it's making me more reserved an anti-social, not to mention it's also triggering stress and flash anger. I couldn't even sleep because of some ridiculous debate I had here last night. I don't even...
    Konrad Konrad 22-25, M 1 Response May 15, 2009

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    Impending Doom...

      I've carried shame my whole life. Shame that has fueled my addictions and exasperated them. My current addiction is sex and love and an uncontrollable obsession to seek exterior validation at mine and others emotional expense. It's tormenting all of the time, but the...
    ClawingMyWayOut ClawingMyWayOut 36-40 4 Responses Mar 31, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I have lived with my parents basically since was eight years old. Actually, let me back up. My biological parents have been divorced since I was only three. After that, I lived...
    RopinTexan RopinTexan 22-25, M 3 Responses Jul 23

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    i am 13 years old bout to be 14 in march and i really want to live with my dad.my mom say that its to much trouble to go to court and she says she really loves me but i know she...
    savanna177 savanna177 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 25

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    Which would usually be totally normal no questions asked but I'm 17 years old. My dad moved to Seattle and my mom lives a couple cities over so I can't live with her because I want...
    OccasionalCupcake OccasionalCupcake 16-17, F 1 day ago

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    So happy I have my phone back!I can honestly say I'm 1 of those people who cant live without their phone!!
    sexycapricorn29 sexycapricorn29 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    Hi everyone! I have been with him for 7 years. We have known each other through social media. He's from a different country. We meet after a year of knowing each other online then...
    angeli1 angeli1 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 9

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    It would be an amazing experience to live with wolves. Hunting large animals in packs howling in the night with a full moon and running at amazing speeds.
    Miserablechildhood Miserablechildhood 13-15, M 1 day ago

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    "Feels Like Forever" By: Of Mice and Men Did you ever contemplate when all was lost you hesitate and nothing seems the same? Have you ever hid your face, in such disgrace...
    Ashbarg Ashbarg 13-15, F 6 hrs ago

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    Talking a bit with an EP friend earlier got me really thinking about things a bit. Android it just seems so unfair that I have to deal with the physical damage my body has gone...
    TheWomanYouHate TheWomanYouHate 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    My relationship with my father stalled because of my mothers constant adultery, with his friends! I hardly saw him at all between ages eight and when I moved in with him at...
    Lecuyer90 Lecuyer90 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Something precious was stolen from me. But I learned to accept it and live my life to the fullest. I can't erase the memory. On the other hand, it has made me a better person.
    Ichilicious Ichilicious 22-25, M 4 days ago

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    I was recently diagnosed with gastroparesis. For a long time I wasn't sure what was wrong w me! I felt sick 24/7, vomiting, constantly bloated and in pain! I had a gastric emptying...
    Lbeavers Lbeavers 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 24

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    my name is Zahraa i'm 16Y im arabic , my problem is that i have a very narrow-minded kinda of fanatic parents, its pissed me off so much when they always keep talking about...
    Zozo98 Zozo98 13-15, F Jul 30

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    I really don't :'( she's my whole world. Life means nothing if she's not in it :'( what's the point of life if you can't be woth the one you love most in the entire universe :'( I...
    ywilliam31 ywilliam31 16-17, M Jul 31

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    I've never been able to talk to anyone around me about what's going on, I just need to talk to people who really understand from experience I can't deal with this anymore
    Hevss Hevss 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    What is wrong with our world these days??? In America it has become an obsession. I'm sorry I value virtue. I'm sorry I set high morals for myself. If men can't respect that then...
    XannaleiseX XannaleiseX 18-21, F 8 Responses Aug 5

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    Slobs and people who don't clean or pick up after themselves, people who always like to have friends come over really late and like to party, smokers, drinkers, ( heavy drinking...
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F Aug 5

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    I only sleep with my laptop so that if I ever get a boyfriend I'll be used to sharing the bed.
    PinkP0werRanger PinkP0werRanger 26-30, F Aug 5

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    This was a wake up call to me. I never knew that women could be so violent. When I was 19 and really stupid, I moved in with a girl because I thought she was amazing. However, she...
    Christo23 Christo23 22-25, M 5 Responses Aug 11

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    My cell is an extension of my butt where ever I go my cell is with me! Beside my EP and internet is log on all the time except that I'm not on it. It's for work proposes lol.
    JEEZ19 JEEZ19 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    We have a roommate, a friend of mine that ive known for about 20 years. She fell on hard times and needed a place to stay. So i rented her a room for next to nothing to help her...
    shinjorai shinjorai 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    I lost my first car to my fiancé. He took it in 2011 when he left me. Also, I owe money to good friends because of him. So my friendship was rough, but I'm still good friends...
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I can't even bear a car ride without it!
    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    I never smoked until last year; never even thought about it...... Ok....ok; slight lie there. My best friend smoked from a very early age and I was slightly jealous and envious...
    SarahTheHooker SarahTheHooker 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    This is an update from one of my posts about my bf and I moving in together and how aggravating and intrusive his mom was. Anyway, its been 4 months now that me and my bf have been...
    Slumbergirl92 Slumbergirl92 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    Wherever my father is...I hope he's doing well. I miss him dearly and I want him to come back home and help me. And I see my mom about 2 times a month. I love them both though no...
    nemophilist8 nemophilist8 18-21, F Jul 25

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    Music is like a best friend! anything and everything.
    ukhubbyuk ukhubbyuk 36-40, M Jul 25

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    Im the only one in my family who has autism. They try but Im not going to be a whiny brat on EP but sometimes they disrespect my needs since I have been through a lot in my...
    Miserablechildhood Miserablechildhood 13-15, M Jul 26

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    My parents look down on what I listen too . So I always have headphones . No matter what.
    emoniemm emoniemm 70+, F 2 Responses Jul 30

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    However this list changes after my mood 1) 30 seconds to mars - Kings and queens 2) Metallica - One 3) Guns 'N Roses - November Rain 4) Aerosmith - Love in an elevator 5...
    Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979 31-35, M Jul 31

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    1. Number One Fan by Plies 2. Picture by Kid Rock & Shania Twain 3. Love Like Honey by Pretty Ricky 4. He Won't Go by Adele 5. God Bless The Child by Billie Holiday 6. Play Too...
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 31

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    1.) Icarus by Bastille It's just amazing. 'Nuff Said 2.) Bad Company by 5 Finger Death Punch Good Song 3.) Trees by 21 Pilots I relate to it a lot 4.) Little Talks by Of Monsters...
    sh3lf1sh sh3lf1sh 13-15, M Jul 31

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    1.) This house that doubt built- A day to remember 2.) Run fee- Asking Alexandria 3.) How to save a life- The Fray 4.) Dare you to move- Switchfoot 5.) Fearless- For Today 6.) It...
    DesireKreation DesireKreation 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 1

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    10.) Radioactive - Imagine Dragons 9.) I See Fire - Ed Sheeran 8.) Sing - Ed Sheeran 7.) 8 Days A Week - The Beatles 6.) Can't Hold Us - Macklemore 5.) When I Come Around - Green...
    JNye8798 JNye8798 16-17, M Aug 2

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    1) warrior~Demi lovato 2) Caraphernelia~ pierce the veil 3) not the American average~ asking Alexandria 4) the a team~ ed sheeran 5) bridge over troubled water~ Simon and Garfunkel...
    FamousLastWordsMCR FamousLastWordsMCR 13-15, F Aug 2

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    In no particular order: 1. American Idiot - Green Day 2. Helena - My Chemical Romance 3. Dead! - My Chemical Romance 4. Little Things - Good Charlotte 5. The Anthem - Good...
    Arcencielx Arcencielx 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    1)boulevard of the broken dreams by green day 2)imagine by john lennon 3) across the universe by the beatles 4) smother me by the used 5) on melancholy hill by gorillaz 6...
    EnigmaticCasper EnigmaticCasper 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 3

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    I found her alittle over a year ago ..when I tell you she is the most beautiful woman I ever seen ...my god must have made her for me ..somehow some way I will get just one more...
    crissyred33 crissyred33 31-35, F Aug 4

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    Just depressed all the time, and think I will be lonely or single for the rest of my life.
    Nixed Nixed 31-35, M Aug 5