I Live With Unbearable Shame

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 62 People

    I Don't Know Why...

    I don't know when it began, but I've always felt like the things I do are wrong.  Everything!  I feel...Dirty?  Stupid?  Disgusting?  Undeserving of all things good... I am ashamed of everything I do, I think, I feel, I am.
    moonlit1 moonlit1
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 28, 2009

    This Is Hard To Talk About But ... The Shame Is Killing Me

    I live in deep shame for my childhood and all the sexual abuse-I went thru in silence -  that went on, and not one soul cared about me! I feel such deep guilt for the most minor of things that others would not even worry about. I feel shame and guilt over the way I let my great...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Apr 15, 2011

    Shame At The Job

    I am a young woman from Latin America living and working in Sweden. Last Thursday I had a two days trip with my job, where all the people from different locations had a meeting and a Christmas party afterwards. We have drank a lot during the dinner and after eating I went to get...
    petala petala
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 19, 2011

    Time to Be Honest.

    I feel mentally ill. I'm thinking about cutting down on the time I spend here, it's making me more reserved an anti-social, not to mention it's also triggering stress and flash anger. I couldn't even sleep because of some ridiculous debate I had here last night. I don't even...
    Konrad Konrad
    22-25, M
    1 Response May 15, 2009

    God Damn It.

    I'm beyond that sick, soothing emotional balm thinking about suicide can bring. I am starting to push beyond that into the realm of planning. My reasons aren't situational. I have the perfect life- I have a fiance who loves me, and I love him. He is my true love, my only...
    Konrad Konrad
    22-25, M
    7 Responses May 11, 2009

    At My Lifestyle...

    And also because of things that I have done wrong in my life. I know, I know, guilt is a wasted emotion but sometimes there are words I just want to say and I can't or I feel I can't and it burns a hole in my stomach and crushes me. I hate knowing that I wasn't there for someone...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jun 19, 2011

    Everyone Say's It's Nothing, But I Don't Believe It

    I was born missing a finger on my right hand. It has made me quiet and withdrawn much of the time and I battle depression most of the time. Everybody says I make too much of it. But I can't let it go! And the doctor who delivered me cut a nerve in my face which makes me talk...
    LonelyGemini LonelyGemini
    41-45
    4 Responses Feb 20, 2010

    I've Lived With...

    I grew up with an unbearable sense of shame about myself. More like gave birth to it, nurtured it, and let it become the suffocating monster that strangles me odd hours of the day. A simple walk to school is like the march of the dead. Imagine being 17 years old and having a...
    Konrad Konrad
    22-25, M
    8 Responses Mar 30, 2009

    Impending Doom...

      I've carried shame my whole life. Shame that has fueled my addictions and exasperated them. My current addiction is sex and love and an uncontrollable obsession to seek exterior validation at mine and others emotional expense. It's tormenting all of the time, but the...
    ClawingMyWayOut ClawingMyWayOut
    36-40
    4 Responses Mar 31, 2009

    Related Experiences

    so small it freakin' hurts sometimes.....yet big enough that without a car you're screwed depending on where you live. lol. and I work in one of the few 24 hour spots there is...
    kk1874 kk1874
    31-35, F
    Apr 21
    Answermug is much better, try that out, it's got live chat!!! For free!!! I don't use it, cuz I don't go in for too much immediacy in social interaction, but it's a boon for folk...
    Bettercallsalamander Bettercallsalamander
    36-40, M
    Apr 21
    I'm planning to leave home once I turn 18 (I'm 17 now) so I have one year for preparation, but I need runaway partner(s), I live in South East Asia, I plan to runaway to another...
    idrkreally idrkreally
    16-17, F
    Apr 21
    I am writing at the suggestion of Robb Warren and Waiting 4 What (and inspired by Vegas Baby). It seems appropriate to put a coda on what was one of the most important and...
    maryryan maryryan
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Apr 21
    I havee. I can't say they are my best friends now, but when they were, oh boy did we do some stupid stuff! I think it's only right I end my time here on EP with a positive, fun...
    TheMasterMan1 TheMasterMan1
    16-17, M
    Apr 20
    I got married with a divorced man with children who had told me before I move to lived with him that he has 2 children. When I come and live with him I found that he has 3 children...
    Jannat11 Jannat11
    22-25, F
    Apr 20
    ok, I'm glad I get to end with this experience... (I wonder if I never stop typing this, if it will force them to continue? lol ) I just finished getting the second small roof...
    Nateindenver Nateindenver
    31-35, M
    Apr 20
    I never thought of it as an affair..... It started here, on EP, with a reply to her story about the Status Quo. She was involved with a man on-line, but it wasn't fulfilling, it...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Apr 20
    I'm Vegasbaby. I was here in 2009 and met my now-bride Penelope here. For any oldtimers who want to hear what happened to us, I posted by mistake over at I LIVED in a sexless...
    vegasbaby551 vegasbaby551
    61-65, M
    3 Responses Apr 19
    I'm VegasBaby. I was here in 2009. I can claim the great honor of being the first person here to have sex with someone else from this board. Actually, I guess she can claim the...
    vegasbaby551 vegasbaby551
    61-65, M
    3 Responses Apr 19
    Before the journey ends I just want to know will we meet ever beyond our dreams ..will I ever know where you are waiting being you and I don't need to play the storming games where...
    winterfall winterfall
    41-45
    Apr 19
    I live north of Indy and would like to chat with someone about spanking.
    Kwantsfun Kwantsfun
    51-55, M
    Apr 19
    I live in central Indiana and would like to chat with someone that is into spanking just a couple days left.
    Kwantsfun Kwantsfun
    51-55, M
    Apr 19
    All I did was I sent gifts last year around Christmas time forget tending that this man would take anything I do as an offence and report it to the police ..as it has also been...
    Inthedark16 Inthedark16
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 19
    I live in Wisconsin, the United States of America
    Diamont Diamont
    13-15, M
    1 Response Apr 18
    our poisonous society has created an unbearable life which we call convention. I'm sick of having to live with the expectation that you must study hard, achieve great grades, then...
    Purplelamb Purplelamb
    13-15, F
    Apr 17
    I love drugs but i dont take it
    MOHED007 MOHED007
    18-21, M
    Apr 16
    it's one of the hardest things to do, watching them slip away. seeing how distant they become with you. I know there is nothing I can do really, the only one that can stop her is...
    kk1874 kk1874
    31-35, F
    Apr 16
    why do people even do drugs ? ...cuz it feels nice ? or is it to just run away from life problems ? if so that's stupid cuz by doing drugs you're fuckkking up your life even more...
    LovelyGorillla LovelyGorillla
    16-17, F
    5 Responses Apr 16
    weird thought. I have a friend that has a husband who does stuff he's not supposed to. I have a proof recording of him. She won't speak to me ever again if I show her. this is...
    mammabee1 mammabee1
    31-35
    2 Responses Apr 15
    So I I woke up this morning, got the kids ready for school, ate breakfast and started my daily routine of cleaning. I actually was feeling good and amazingly happy. Thanked God for...
    TY4YOSON TY4YOSON
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 15
    (Look these up if ya don't know them!) 1. Pillowtalk 2. Texas is forever 3. She looks so perfect 4. Good girls 5. 18 6. King for a day 7. Victorious 8. 7 years (do not judge me!) 9...
    ideky1253 ideky1253
    16-17, F
    1 Response Apr 15
    I can out of prison on the 17/3/2016 after I had spent 5 weeks in remand awaiting sentencing for a restraining order breach imposed on me by court four years earlier in 2011 ..the...
    Inthedark16 Inthedark16
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 15
    Yes, u need a live-in maid! Such a person will keep your house clean, do your grocery shopping, cook your meals, do your laundry and your pets will be taken care of also when you...
    bobbylee111 bobbylee111
    41-45, F
    Apr 15
    People deal with their dreams in one of three ways. They accuse, they excuse, or they choose. Accusers spend their entire lives blaming others for why they haven’t achieved...
    yayepisoverimsad yayepisoverimsad
    22-25, F
    Apr 13
    Where do I start? I am a gay man, I have known I was gay since 3rd grade. Growing up was tough and is a story for a later time. I met my first long term partner when I was 22, we...
    taletotell taletotell
    41-45, M
    Apr 13
    I am a south-east asian and in my culture couples won't live together until marriage. In the US or basically western culture in general, many couples cohabitating in relationships...
    ChannelingTruth ChannelingTruth
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Apr 13
    I don't like to accuse people or any one or body when I don't have straight facts, but if you have your things put in a place and you come back and things are missing wouldn't you...
    stuckNWEbbz stuckNWEbbz
    26-30, F
    Apr 12
    No respect and their family first they eat all my rice I pay for 20lbs they just get the small bag they take mad oil they get the small size they ate all my olive oil that cost...
    LucidxxShivery LucidxxShivery
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 12
    I always get free tickets to stuff from my job but it's never close by. If you live anywhere close to Ypsilanti, you can have them.
    dmc313 dmc313
    26-30, M
    Apr 12
    I met someone online - 15 years ago, what I believe to be my soulmate. Yet - we have never met in real life. I kid you not. We met when I was 25, lived in different countries...
    Taffycatz Taffycatz
    36-40, F
    12 Responses Apr 12
    Asian here. My parents immigrated from the East where there are many abusive parents, South Korea! My parents said they want me to enjoy whatever job I work, plus to live fully...
    cracked8urface cracked8urface
    18-21
    Apr 11
    I lived in California for almost 2 years now. I cannot wait to move up North near Fresno...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 11
    If anybody lives in Gloucester plz send me a private message ASAP and we can exchange numbers so we can talk to each other because I will miss everybody on here.
    Caroline9852 Caroline9852
    16-17, T
    Apr 11
    I love where I live but there are no opportunities for a great job and apartments are super expensive. But where else would I go?
    DiamondAuthority DiamondAuthority
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Apr 11
    I lived by the rules and societies expectations of how a person should live their life. That caused me to miss out on so many opportunities. At the same time, society made me have...
    Mossonarock Mossonarock
    41-45, M
    Apr 11
    I never hated myself more than when I read the message telling me I was the reason she changed. There was no blame on her part, it wasn't said to make me feel bad. It was almost...
    kk1874 kk1874
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 11
    Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Day Lights off Days lost Crying on my bed Heart beats slowly I'm tryna clear my head but I ain't talking I'm not even...
    stephanie751 stephanie751
    13-15, F
    Apr 10
    Throwing back to that tragedy.. 1995 17th on January...in Japan The great hanshin awaji earthquake happened. Almost two million people died(believe it or not,truth) I was only...
    genjiipiexx genjiipiexx
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 10
    I live in Texas.but my heart beats in Florida.
    Mishu69 Mishu69
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Apr 10
    "Rose Tattoo" by Dropkick Murphy's The pictures tell the story This life had many shades I'd wake up every morning and before I'd start each day I'd take a drag from last nights...
    Akiiim Akiiim
    41-45, M
    Apr 10
    Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your...
    Wantsfortomorrow Wantsfortomorrow
    41-45, F
    1 Response Apr 9
    A little less than half of the time and the most important live in Canada!
    JjKr88 JjKr88
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 9
    Really Only Dealt With Him When Forced&Now Refuse To Speak To Him At All- my mother was his first and last interracial intercultural relationship and he left our household under a...
    ToBeDiskovered ToBeDiskovered
    22-25, M
    Apr 9
    Well if you do we should link up I live in Irvine !
    Tokeetilyoucope Tokeetilyoucope
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 8
    To me music is a way I can express everything I have a hard time doing for myself. If there is something I want to say I can always find a song that has said it better than I ever...
    Ancientphoenix78 Ancientphoenix78
    36-40, F
    Apr 8
    10? really,i have many...well,in no particular order...Best song ever- 1D( one direction), you and i- 1D, work- Rihanna , love yourself- JB, pillowtalk- Zayn Malik , black magic...
    safaabushra safaabushra
    13-15, F
    Apr 8
    I practically live in the net. If I were in contact with all the people I make friends with online, in real life, then my depression would fade away.
    lonelylifeindia lonelylifeindia
    26-30, M
    Apr 8
    I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers, and possible beliefs, and different degrees of...
    Mcinacann Mcinacann
    41-45, F
    Apr 7
    and it is fine it is another beautiful day I accept myself and my place in the world I am blessed beyond belief
    mrsit808 mrsit808
    36-40, F
    Apr 7
    Any one else live here from ep please message me i need new friends i dont have any
    teengirls teengirls
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 6
More Stories