I Lived In a Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 187 People

    I've lived on a sexless marriage

    for 22 years our sex life was limited unless she wanted a baby otherwise it was great for a few years but after I stopped working things started to change sex turned into a chore for her and we would make love or have sex once a month I felt rejected all the time it was almost...
    Vickinlondon Vickinlondon
    51-55, M
    Aug 24, 2015

    So I have read a load of these

    and feel for all of you. My experience is similar to many out there. I love my wife dearly but after cancer she is pretty much unable to have sex and moreover has no particular desire for me. She does try but it really isn't the same and this then causes arguments and resentment...
    Hamish1966 Hamish1966
    3 Responses Nov 5, 2015

    We're not married but have been together

    for over 6 years. I am 50 and she is 53. When we were first together we had sex, w/ foreplay and all the extras all the time. Starting a couple of years ago that all stopped. When I bring up doing something she says that she just isn't interested in it anymore, but that she...
    darkken darkken
    46-50, M
    Sep 14, 2015


    Recently my husband and I traveled to the area where I had lived for many years at the invitation from my son to meet my baby grandson. My husband was also welcome. We were treated with kindness and respect by my son and his lovely wife. Our grandson is a delight. Full of energy...
    dartist dartist
    56-60, F
    Nov 10, 2013


    I noticed that lots and lots of people live in sexless marriages. I have been married twice. My first marriage was to my childhood boyfriend that I started dating when I was 16. We were best friends but he was not interested in sex. Technically, it was not totally sexless...
    itsmeyepme itsmeyepme
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Sep 15, 2010

    This is more of a question with an experience.

    I am at an emotional crossroads and nearing a physical crossroads in my sexless marriage. When talking to friends about getting help from the internet we always joke that it's always 'best' to get advice from random internet strangers but I don't think of all of us on this...
    kavon745 kavon745
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Sep 30, 2015

    Everyone watch this Tedtalk

    and read the book about the Sex starved marriage by Michelle weirder Davis of Divorce busting.com Yes it is cruel emotionally, physically to be refused sex. It hurts, it really does...but there is hope....if not in your marriage then in another relationship But victims and...
    MrHeartaFire MrHeartaFire
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Oct 13, 2015

    I don't understand these people

    who write this. I mean why should someone try not having love with the wife/husband? Don't mean it bad am just curious
    Chloe1o Chloe1o
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 4, 2016

    As I read different stories in the ILIASM forum

    I begin to wonder about the differences in marriages out there that are sexless or almost sexless. There can't be a cure all as they are all so different with so many variables. It got me thinking about a friend of mine and her husband. I have always wondered why she has...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jan 27, 2015

    What a gift this has been to stumble upon a

    whole group of people sharing this agony. This first step, talking "openly" about what goes on in my head comes 9 years into my relationship. At the beginning, we frequently (twice per week) had somewhat fulfilling sex. After the first argument about my need for more went...
    deleted deleted
    Aug 13, 2015
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Nov 4, 2015

    In the past, I spent a considerable amount of

    valuable time ruminating about my frustration with my lack of connection re SM or STBX. I was jealous about what I wished I had. It helped me to have an exit plan. A plan, no matter how many times it needs to be revised, is empowering. To be honest, my exit plan came into...
    PinkJeanie1970 PinkJeanie1970
    46-50, F
    1 Response Mar 14, 2015

    Got Some Revenge.

    Its been a long time since I posted in this forum.. but some of you may remember I was quite angry that my wife... who is still healthy... decided to with draw sexual pleasure from our relationship.. I am well past the point of ever wanting to have any sexual contact with her...
    baker998 baker998
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jun 24, 2012

    A few years ago, I was in a six year almost

    sexless relationship. We all know what that can do to our self image. This is not an excuse, it's just setting the tone. During this time I got a temporary position in another country. It was a whole new world, and though I didn't speak the language I found some friends who...
    TroubleInDeCamp TroubleInDeCamp
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 25, 2015

    I lived in a sexless marriage

    and lost count after 5 years. I left her and now in a compatible relationship.
    AR01 AR01
    46-50, M
    Oct 30, 2015

    What a difference a week can make.

    On March 12th I posted about some of what I have gleaned from the being at the dating site POF. A # of folks ask that I "keep us updated". So an update. The following week at the site was a disaster. The woman I met for lunch the same day as the post was attractive, a good...
    worksforme2 worksforme2
    66-70, M
    1 Response Mar 24, 2016

    I lived in a sexless marriage

    and the no sex went on for years. My wife seemed to lose interest after our first child was born and we drifted slowly apart. We didn't fight. I would lie in bed next to her and try, and she would just roll over. I gave up after too much of the disinterest, and didn't try to...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Aug 1, 2015

    "Don't should on yourself"It's hard not to.

    Especially the more sanity I regain being out of my ILIASM, new revelations come up - old memories resurface.An illustration:On our honeymoon, it was very low key. I made the arrangements and we went to three small towns for bed & breakfast stays with Missouri historical sites...
    GrantGeek GrantGeek
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Feb 19, 2016

    I miss being looked at,

    like that. It's life. Plain and simple. The natural life cycle of predator versus prey. In this, predation is not a means to exercise hate, misogyny, or power. I'm beginning to wonder what this feels like from the other side, from the side of that person who looked at me...
    notsocomplex notsocomplex
    36-40, F
    1 Response Aug 21, 2015

    My oldest brother understands what it means.

    His story: He’d been a bachelor in his house first and had hung a taxidermied boar’s head, perfect for the spot it commanded. Then he married. All through the years that it bothered his wife who moved in, the head hung. They ended divorced, and his wife moved out. The...
    GrantGeek GrantGeek
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Jun 14, 2015

    Thought provoking questions to ask yourself:

    Gwall1234 Gwall1234
    41-45, F
    Mar 24, 2015

    I miss it. I miss the passion,

    the intimacy, the breathless feelings. At times I think how can I survive another day without the touch of a man, without feeling wanted and desired.
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Oct 20, 2015

    Here's 2min40 sec of how to empathize.

    This is a building block for love and can lead you out of a sexless marriage I believe as well as many other relationship problems, family, friends ....it applies to all.The sexless marriage. underlying foundation is you don't feel wanted or loved. Being loved, cherished...
    MrHeartaFire MrHeartaFire
    41-45, M
    Aug 24, 2015

    I'm VegasBaby. I was here in 2009.

    I can claim the great honor of being the first person here to have sex with someone else from this board. Actually, I guess she can claim the same honor. That was Penelope. We're still together. 7 years later. We've been married for 4 years. We still have a massive crush on...
    vegasbaby551 vegasbaby551
    61-65, M
    3 Responses Apr 19, 2016

    I was living like Mrs.

    Dalloway. Bought flowers, hosted parties and pretended that I was confident and everything was fine. Hid that I lived in a SM. I'm Mrs. Dalloway no more.
    PinkJeanie1970 PinkJeanie1970
    46-50, F
    Apr 1, 2015

    When I originally posted in April of 2011,

    I was living in a sexless marriage. I was confused, heartbroken and angry... What happened in the 3 years following has nearly destroyed me...nearly... 2012 -Gave husband ultimatum to get therapy or get a divorce. The choice was his... He chose therapy although really drug...
    malms malms
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Sep 8, 2014

    I have lived in a sexless marriage

    for a long, long time and am going crazy for companionship, just the feel of a woman naked body would help so much. I sat and wonder how I have went so far (15 years) to be exact. Now my situation is that way because am 59 and she is 76. That's what I get for marrying a older...
    edawg5596 edawg5596
    61-65, M
    Jun 7, 2015

    I want to hear from married men 55-60,

    my age who believe that it's normal for us men to go w/o sex for over 10 years. Do most men our age experience this.
    edawg5596 edawg5596
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jun 30, 2015

    I just found out the STBX responded to the

    divorce Summons at the last hour. Scheduled for Harassment Restraining Order in early April. I am perplexed as to why he even cares to want to be able to contact me. Oh, wait, this is about him. Not me. I want to take care to handle my decisions thoughtfully and carefully. It...
    PinkJeanie1970 PinkJeanie1970
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 12, 2015

    At the end of a long weekend,

    I find myself alone at home once again. No phone calls or check ins unless I initiate the same. Here there was a four day weekend. Though I spoke with people and visited sone family, by and large I was all alone. Tried to get together with some friends but they never came...
    TroubleInDeCamp TroubleInDeCamp
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 28, 2016

    My new husband was a single child

    and lived a sheltered life. We have only been married a few weeks now, and since he comes from a religious family, we lived strictly apart until our wedding night. All that went well, so I won’t say more about it. But a couple of days after the “big night” things began to...
    bakeddolores bakeddolores
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Feb 3, 2016

    I am new to ep.. It's very hard to put yourself

    out there.. My husband and I do not have sex. I have a very high sex drive, he does not seem interested at all. We have been married a long time. I've put on some weight, I've asked him if this is the reason he doesn't want to have sex with me. He gets mad and says no.. Just...
    clb47 clb47
    46-50, F
    7 Responses Sep 30, 2015

    Ok. I am still in one

    but I have no idea how I live like I have a flatmate and find a new social life. I haven't had friends since I was in my twenties . How do you find a new social group to go out regularly with when you are 47. It seems all groups around me are for under 45s. Do I just give up...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Jul 5, 2015

    Soon about to turn a big corner (I hope) with

    HRO hearing at the end of the week and divorce mediation at the end April. Over the weekend I overshared my concern regarding my experience with neglect and living in a SM. I realize that not everyone knows this type of pain, and I was feeling really rather sorry for myself...
    PinkJeanie1970 PinkJeanie1970
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 30, 2015

    I have been married for six months,

    my husband works nights five nights a week (70 hours a week) we just stopped having sex one day, went from every morning when we'd see each other, then that just stopped happening. He doesn't seem to have any interest in it. I want to have sex with him back, I rolled over the...
    ZaraT4315 ZaraT4315
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Sep 22, 2015

    Hi Love my husband very much

    but we've not had sex since he had a stroke. We've tried but it's not been successful. I'm starting to resent the strain this is putting on our marriage and would love to hear everyone else's experiences of this.
    optimist1970 optimist1970
    46-50, F
    Jul 8, 2015

    Hey the now have a cure

    for nymphomania ... Yeah it's called wedding cake 😝
    Billypuffnstuff Billypuffnstuff
    51-55, M
    1 Response Oct 28, 2015

    My husband text me that he would

    rather be a monk than to have sex with me, and that if that is my need, I should go elsewhere to satisfy it. My heart sank. Finally....I have more clarity that I need to get out of this sexless marriage devoid of any physical or emotional intimacy. My affair has been over for...
    GreyStreet98 GreyStreet98
    51-55, F
    6 Responses Jul 22, 2015

    I have been married for 15 years with 3 kids.

    I have a husband that provides for our family financially very well. He tries and spends as much time with me as he can. The problem is that 6 years ago he attempted to have an affair. I found out apparently just before it happened. Since then, it has been a constant dark cloud...
    phoebee123 phoebee123
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Feb 18, 2016

    No I am not married. But relationship-wise,

    I just want to say that I would rather live with a sexless relationship, then a loveless one :(
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Nov 1, 2015

    Neeia posted some great stuff,

    reflecting on the extraordinary lengths we go to when we maintain a facade of the happy spouse. Here is what I meant about my sordid details. Tonight my partner will come home at midnight and go to sleep in another room. Tomorrow I will wake up and possibly make breakfast...
    notsocomplex notsocomplex
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Sep 24, 2015

    We had a reasonably good sex life the first 8

    years and the last ten were a living hell. After the kids left we bolted. It took me several years to recover emotionally and financially but now that I have my self esteem and freedom back I'm loving life again. If your marriage is ruining your life then Get Out. I now have...
    adventurousjames adventurousjames
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Mar 19, 2015

    Sex should never be a chore!

    !! And if you consistently feel this way, you have a problem. I'm so glad I left him, I don't need to put up with that sh*t for the rest of my life. I wasn't married, but a 6 year relationship was long enough to find out what I was in for...
    26-30, F
    16 Responses Oct 29, 2015

    So, I always got mad

    when people told me to get a divorce on here. So, it turns out, that all of yall were right. I have found out that she has been cheating on me since June, and, in all honesty, I have been with my girlfriend since November. Well, as of about 2 weeks ago, I had all the info I...
    Rednkfireftr Rednkfireftr
    31-35, M
    Apr 17, 2015
More Stories